Beverly Hills Chihauhau Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Beverly Hills Chihauhau script is here for all you fans of the Drew Barrymore movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Beverly Hills Chihauhau quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

Beverly Hills Chihauhau Script

[dog barks]

[ Gwen Stefani featuring Eve:
Rich Girl]

She's on her way.

[woman] Good morning, Viv.

Hello, Willow. Lovely to see you.

- [woman] Here she comes!
- [man] Is that the new Louis Vuitton?

[man 2] I might've known
she'd be the first.

[woman 2] Fabulous bag. She's so chic.

Sorry I'm late.
We had to do a little shopping.

Now that's the way to travel.
I'm so jealous.


Louis Vuitton never looked so good.

Mmm. Tell me the stones
in that collar are not real.

Aren't they gorgeous?
Viv said I had to have it.

[dogs barking]

- Sorry keep you waiting.
- Armand, it's fine.

A brush and a seaweed wrap,
but I need her by noon.

- We're having lunch with my niece.
- She'll be ready.

I know, sweetheart. I'm going to miss
you, too. You take good care of her.

- No waxing, OK?
- OK, no waxing for her.

I hope she gives me a red bow.
I want to look my best today.

- Bimini has a date with Scooter.
- Nice pedigree.

Please! The dog chases parked cars.

- He's crazier than a Labradoodle.
- I give it a week, tops.

- Hey! Talk to the paw.
- [Chloe] Good for you, Bimini.

It's not easy to find a mate with
papers. Let alone one you could love.

Me, I'd be happy with
one who's not... fixed.


- [whistles]
- [Chloe laughs]

Down, boy.

[ Kylie Minogue:

[woman] All right, what's next?

- What do you think?
- Please. She wears Harry Winston.


Fabulous. I'll take two.
You should see Chloe.

I'll need at least two days at corporate
in New York to meet with buyers.

- You have a little beret?
- Perfection.

[speaks Italian]

Who needs sleep? It's Italy.

Preppy little beauty.

- This just came in.
- She's allergic to wool. No.

- Love that.
- [Viv] Oh! Fabulous!

- Viv.
- I love it. And do you love it?

You may have it.
I'll get you anything you want.

Yes, I will. No, not you, Patrick.

Hello, Jackie O.

- Love the smell of dirt in the morning.
- Sam, the garden looks gorgeous.

And I love the new designs
for the waterfall that you did.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

For everything. For giving me
a chance to prove myself.

Oh, good job, Papi. Very symmetrical.

[Sam speaks Spanish]

Ciao. Ciao, Papi.

Yes, yes. We did it, Papi.
Yes. Yes!

Go on, take a break, Papi.
You're doing great, buddy.

Hello, beautiful.

You're blocking my sun.

 Mi corazón, you shine
much brighter than the sun

 Why won't you be my one 

- What's that smell?
- Which one?

The sweat of my labor
or the mint patch I rolled in for you?

- Neither.
- Then it must be the fertilizer.

Gross! You're covered in it.

Of course. I am a landscaper.

Grasshopper, mi corazón?

I caught it myself. Very tasty.

Papi, that's so... disgusting.

I see you're tempted. I'll leave it here
in case you change your mind.

- [doorbell rings]
- Excuse me. We have guests.

Guests? You got guests... OK.

You want to go have a drink later?
There's a great puddle by the garage.

OK, never mind.

Aunt Viv! I'm here!

[Chloe] An hour late, as usual.

- Aunt Viv, hello!
- [barking]

How do you keep a job?
Oh, that's right, you don't.

Where's Aunt Viv?
Where's Aunt Viv? Chloe, go find her.

- Go on. Go find her.
- Who am I, Lassie?

You're so completely useless.

Of course I understand.

[Viv] It's just that I'm headed to
Europe to promote my new cosmetic line.

No, this is wonderful news.
It's the best news.

Yes, yes. OK. Wonderful. Bye.

- Is everything OK, Aunt Viv?
- I don't know what I'm going to do.

I am getting on a plane at 4:00,
and I gave the staff the week off...

and Chloe's dog nanny just
had her baby three weeks early.

- You're not taking Chloe with you?
- No, no.

Obviously if it was a vacation,
of course, but this is a business trip.

Four cities in ten days.

She's much too delicate for that kind
of travel. Plus she hates Berlin.

- What about a kennel?
- [Chloe] Kennel?


No, no. I could never leave her
in the hands of strangers.

Never in a million years.

But you're not a stranger.

- What?
- What?

Here is Chloe's schedule.
Try to stay to it as much as possible.

I could skip the dog park on Wednesday

because Chloe's friend, Stella,
came down with fleas.

I'm about to entrust you with
my greatest treasure.

Take good care.

I love you, sweetheart.

I love you so much.
Mommy loves you so much.

Bye-bye! Have fun, you two!

- OK. Bye!
- [doorbell rings]


[ Right Said Fred:
I'm Too Sexy]

Here you go. Good luck.

[ball squeaking]

[dogs barking]

Don't worry, Chloe.
Viv will be back before you know it.

Rachel doesn't look so bad.

You don't know the half of it.

[girl] They all look so cute
in their little outfits.

You didn't have to dress her.
She's so picky.

- You're talking about a Chihuahua.
- She's not any Chihuahua, Angela.

She's a bossy, arrogant, manipulative,
Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

She has no direction. She can't keep
a job. She's never on time.

I'm going to be late to my appointments.

Don't get me started on her schedule.

Shiatsu massages, doggy birthday
parties, couture fittings.

I have to change
her outfit four times a day.

I mean, look at her.

[both] She's so...


- Woof.
- [sighs]

- I need to cool off.
- Dive in, girl.


Hi, mami.


Who is that hunk
of Chihuahua over there?

- [Bimini] Nice.
- Mi corazón!

The gardener.

You are more lovely...

- than the dawn.
- Wow.

Mi corazón!

You are more lovely...
than the dawn!

So embarrassing. Maybe he'll go away.

[speaks Spanish]

I only...

Excuse me while I bravely defend
your garden against that dangerous bird.

Hey, bird!

That is one hot dog.

Excuse me.
Coming through. Nice legs.

Mud all over me.

Hey, hey! Excuse me!

Excuse me! Excuse me, señor?
Gardener guy?

Your dog is muy bad.
Muy, muy, muy bad. Mucho naughty.

[speaks Spanish]

Can you get... your...

...doggie-o out of here?

Perdóname, por favor,
but my heart must speak.

I only wish to say...

that if you ever need someone
to lick inside your ears...

or chew the hard to reach places...

or share your slumber in the sun...

I would be most honored
to be that special someone.

- Woof.
- Put your tongue back in your mouth.

Oh. I don't think so, Papi.

You mean, not now.

I mean... not ever.

I see. Of course. Well...

This thing.

[speaks Spanish]

Papi! [whistles]

Duty calls! Please have
a most wonderful day.

Cool. Thanks a lot.

[speaks Spanish]


Rachel, wake up.
I've got a mani-pedi at 11:00,

and you have to make my waffles.

- Get up!
- [phone ringing]



Aunt Viv's.

- Hi, Angela.
- [dog toy squeaks]


You're a genius.

Yes, I can be ready
in 30 minutes. OK, bye!

Pack your swimsuit, Chloe.
We're going on a trip.

A trip? Ooh, where are we going?

[girls] Mexico! Yeah!

[ Buster Poindexter:
Hot Hot Hot]

I love this town!

- Let's check it out.
- Surfer boys, hi!


I love this town!

I could totally live here.
Isn't this great?

I'm starting to get the feeling
there's no Four Seasons here.


- Third floor, baby.
- Woo!

Hello? Somebody forget something?

- I'm walking by myself.
- [Rachel] Chloe!

I'm starving.
What's taking them so long?

Wait. What time are
we supposed to meet the guys?

Right now, at that club.

Wait a minute. I forgot
the name of the club.

- Cayuca Club!
- Right. Cayuca!

Be right back.

- Dinner time!
- Finally.

You should dance with Bryan, Rache.

- I'm gonna dance with him.
- He's cute!

You'd better be making me
either prime rib or reservations.

There you go.

You're joking, right?

I am ready to dance all night!

There's only one thing this is good for.

- Try this on for size.
- Come on, let's go!


That's a bad dog!
That's a very bad dog!

[Chloe whining]

Rachel. What did you do to her?

Nothing! She's faking! Let's go.

- You silly girl.
- She's so cute.

- We should take her with us.
- Yes! Take me out for food.

- I'm not taking the dog dancing.
- Cayuca!

Hey! Wait!

Come back here! Oops.

Just add that to the bill.

[both speak Spanish]


Hola and adiós.

You want to dance, Rachel? Let's dance.

OK. Guy with a giant knife. Moving on.

[people banging drums, playing music]

If I wasn't starving,
this might actually be fun.

Oh! There you are.

You are in so much troub...

Put me down! Who are you?

Rachel, help me! Somebody, please.
I'm being dognapped!

[indistinct Spanish]


- So... good night.
- Seriously?

No kiss?


Chloe, come out.

I'm not kidding. I mean it. Stop hiding.

I'm sorry I gave you dog food.


I'll order you room service
for breakfast in the morning!

- Chloe?
- What's up, love bug?

Chloe's missing.

I don't know where she would go.
She doesn't like to walk anywhere,

- let alone run.
- Well...

- What?
- Las peleas de perros were in town.

Dogfights. They're criminals.
Always on the move.

How do I find them?

I have heard rumors.

Mexico City?

Then there's nothing more you can do.

You've done everything you can.

Why don't you go
put your suit on and join us?

I'm going to keep looking for Chloe.

And if I can't find her,
I'm going to Mexico City.


[Rachel] Chloe!

[dogs barking]

Where am I?

You're in the dogfights.

Dogfights? What?

This is outrageous.

I was born to shop, not fight.
Unless it's at a sales rack.

- Quit whining, princesa.
- Chloe Winthrop Ashe does not whine.

[Speaks Spanish]
A delusional Chihuahua.

You won't get any sympathy from Delgado,
señorita. He's a gladiator.

A gladiator?

You know. A fighter.
Delgado is the best of the best.

Don't listen to Rafa, chica.
El Diablo's the meanest dog in the fights.

Word is they fought once before,
and Delgado did not come out on top.

[praying in Spanish]

What's he saying?

Ay, bendito, he always
prays before a fight.

Don't you speak any Spanish,

The name's Chloe, not chica.
And why would I speak Spanish?

- Hello! You're a Chihuahua, mi hija!
- So?

I'm from Beverly Hills. You know, 90210,
the shopping capital of the world?

She's a gringa from California.

That's right. The only reason
I'm here is because I was stolen.

- You think I volunteered for this?
- [Chloe] But I'm an heiress.

- A hairless?
- No, an heiress.

- I have a trust fund.
- Look.

If you're worth something,
they'll ransom you.

And if they ransom you,
they won't fight you.

- Guess you have nothing to worry about.
- Well, that's a relief.

I am so glad you feel better.
Now can we get a little quiet?

I can't wait until Viv finds out
what Rachel's done.

 Mi corazón,
I think of you day and night 

[sniffing] Hold your tacos.

These scents are old.

[Sam] Papi? Time to go home!

Where is she? Where is my Chloe?


What's going on?

Hey, Papi, come on. Let's go.

- Hi. Hola.
- Hi.

I'm Rachel's friend, and...
you're the gardener, right?

- I'm Sam.
- Your garden is muy bonita.

And when I get a casa,
I'm so calling you to be my gardener...

- because it's...
- Thank you very much.

- Where's Rachel?
- Forget her, dude. Where's Chloe?

And what are you hiding there?

Chloe's lost in Mexico.
Rachel stayed to find her.

The love of my life
is out there in trouble?

She wants me to e-mail
this to her in Mexico City.


[speaks Spanish]

[ George Thorogood and The Destroyers:
Bad To The Bone]

Señoras y señores!

You know him, you love him.

El campeón, El Diablo!

Oh. It's about time someone's
upgrading my accommodations.

And now, the challenger.

Weighing in at a whopping six pounds.

I give you Chi-Chihuahua!



Thank you.

Thank you. You're too kind, really.

This is so much nicer
than that stinky corral.

Oh! I'm sorry.
I thought I was alone.

- Mister...
- They call me El Diablo.

It's certainly nice to meet you.
Clearly I'm in the wrong place.

So perhaps we could
speak to the concierge or someone.

Stop talking!

You know, I've got a dentist who could
do something about that yellowing.

- What?
- I get the idea that teeth...

- are important in your line of work.
- You don't like my smile?

- [barking]
- Watch it! Say it, don't spray it!

- [mumbling] What am I going to do?
- Sounds like he's closing in.

Dog that size?
Won't be much left of her.

[mumbling] Gringa, gringa.

She's adiós. She's bye-bye.

Poor little hairless.

[praying in Spanish]

OK, that's it.

Delgado? What are you doing?


- What's going on?
- Where are you going?

- How do you do that?
- Bro, give me the combination!

- Yeah, save us!
- Save us, Delgado!

- Don't leave us!
- Come back!

This is highly inappropriate.
Hey, hey, hey! That's cashmere!


- Vámonos!
- Hasta la bye-bye!

Let go before it... rips.

I know it's rude to leave early,
but I really must be going now.

The show's over for you, chica.

You know, "dog eat dog" is
just an expression!

- Not this time, Diablo!
- Delgado!

- Move it!
- OK.

You'll pay for this, Delgado!
I'll find you!

[indistinct chattering]

Wait, wait!
Slow down, you guys! Slow down!

- What's wrong?
- I told you, it wasn't my fault!

Where'd the dogs go? Go, go!

[Vasquez] I want that Chihuahua!


[indistinct Spanish]

- [Chloe] English, please!
- [Delgado] Move it! Let's go!

- This way! This way!
- OK.

[speaks Spanish]


- My bootie!
- Your what?

- My bootie!
- Forget it!

- Forget it?
- Forget it!

- The Chihuahua!
- That's Italian leather, mister!

[Chloe] Look out!

Go! Go!

One at a time!

[Chloe] Hey! Wait a minute!
You won't fit!

I got it!

Oh, no. I lost another bootie.

I am sure I locked those cages, sir.

I want that Chihuahua!


She's worth something.

[Vasquez] Judging by the diamonds
around her neck, it's a lot.

Look out.

- [upbeat mariachi music]
- [cheering]

What is all of this?


The Day of the Dead.

This is so beautiful.

It's what humans do
to honor their ancestors.

It keeps them... alive in their hearts.

Helps them remember who they are,
where they came from.


- You're my dog!
- Delgado, gracias, bro.

- I'm out of here!
- I'll see ya, kid.

Wait! Wait... Delgado!

[Chloe] "See ya?" That's it?

Number one rule of the streets,
princesa. Every dog for himself.

Now, get lost.

My name is not "Princesa." It's Chloe.

And I am lost. And I want to be found.


Look, princesa...
I mean... look, kid.

I got my own problems.

I can't go back to the fights.
I got to get out of town.

- How does Beverly Hills sound?
- Too far.

Come on! If you could
figure out a way back,

you could live with us on our estate.

If you haven't noticed,
I'm a little large for a lapdog.

But you're the perfect size
for a guard dog.

Our old one... Papi, he... ran off.

You had a guard dog named Papi?

[mumbles in Spanish]

- What hotel you staying in?
- You'll do it?

Answer the question
before I change my mind!

I don't know the name, but believe me,
it was no Carthay Hotel.

The Carthay? There's one here.
Would they know you?

They should. We're preferred guests.
We have a gold card.

Why me? Of all the dogs in Mexico.

Why me? All I need,
Chihuahua with booties.

This'll be fun! You'll see.

Here's the GPS.

We're hot.

Diablo, you go get me that Chihuahua.

Go! Go!

[dog howling]

- Hold up a second.
- Uh...

What's that sound?

- Hmm. Hold your breath.
- [Chloe shrieks]

- What did you do that for?
- El Diablo's got your scent.

Of course he does. It's Chanel No. 5.

- Congratulations.
- Now I've lost another bootie...

- and I stink.
- I don't smell anything.

Are you kidding? I smell like a wet dog.

You are a wet dog.

[police siren]

- Look... señorita...
- Ashe.

Ashe. I'm sorry.

We're already trying to stop the fights.

And we don't have time to look
for every lost dog in Mexico.

This is not just any dog.

This is my Aunt Viv's dog.
Chloe means everything to her.

I'll tell you what.

Go back to your hotel, download
that photo you were telling me about

and I will see what I can do.

- Gracias.
- You're welcome!

[Mexican Hat Dance ringtone]

- Hi, Aunt Viv.
- Ciao, Rachel.

Yes, Capri's fantastic.

I was trying the house earlier.
I was worried because nobody was there.

Yeah, we went out for Mexican.

Could I talk to her just a second?

Um... I'll put her on.

[imitates barking]

Hi, baby! How's my little baby?

[continues barking]

I miss you, too! I miss you, too!

[more barking]

OK, here you are,
Your Highness. Carthay Hotel.

[sighs] I feel like I'm home already!

- Thank you, Delgado. Thank you!
- All in a day's work.

But... maybe you should wait out here.

- Yeah, whatever.
- I don't mean it like it sounds,

but they can be a little particular
about the dogs they let in.

Knock yourself out.

We'll be eating gourmet food in no time.

- Bienvenidos al Hotel Carthay.
- [Chloe] Thank you.

Excuse me. Would you be so kind
as to look at my collar?

You'll find my owner's
name and number.


Tshh! Get out!

Hello! Ew!

It touched me!

Get this mutt out of here.

- Mutt? How dare you!
- [concierge] Edgar!

I've been a preferred customer
at this hotel for years!

Don't you dare!

- I'm sorry.
- You are making a big mistake. Huge.

Really! [shrieks]

Oh, no.


I'm... hideous.

What's taking her so long?

Hmm. Figures.

What did I expect...
de una princesa?

Delgado, it was so humiliating.
You won't believe...



[ Megan McCauley:
Porcelain Doll]

[bells jingling]

Excuse me. I'm here to see
Detective Ramirez.

Detective Ramirez is already with someone,
señorita. Five minutes, please.

[door buzzes]

Psst. Don't look now,
Hannah Montana, three o'clock.

What are you doing here?
I mean, qué are you doing here?

Isn't it obvious? To find Chloe.

Angela told me everything.

Why did you pretend
you couldn't speak English?

I didn't. You just assumed.

Thought you'd let me go along
and make a fool of myself?

Didn't need any help with that.

What makes you think
I need help from a gardener?

Oh, no, she didn't.

It's not that I have a
problem with that word, but,

actually, I am a landscaper.

And I'm not here for you.

I'm here for Vivian,
because she's like family to me.

[clears throat]

I e-mailed a description
of the dog's collar to all our stations.

Chloe's collar. It's worth a fortune.

You're welcome.

Maybe a picture of the collar
might be even more helpful.

Yeah, a lot. Gracias.

So what should we do now?

We? Nothing.

You go back to
your hotel and wait. Please.

He's right. There's nothing you can do.

What? We're Mexi-can, not Mexi-can't!

I'm not going to stop looking.
He only cares about the collar.

I need the dog.

I'm with her, amigo.
My Chloe's in trouble.

Hey! Papi! Hey!

- Come on, fool. Let's go!
- Papi, where're you going?

[ Tag Team:
Whoomp (There It Is]

I cannot believe Chloe's missing this.

Sebastian! Thank you.

Going to be on the cover
of Purebred Monthly.

- Oh.
- Whoo hoo!

This party is off the leash!

Whoa! Party!

So Scooter.

- Come here, Birthday Dog.
- No, Whiskey.

No, that really isn't necessary.

OK. Thank you, thank you.


Hey, you guys don't think
Chloe's in trouble, do you?

Paa-lease. I bet Rachel whisked her
off to some faboo place.

If I know Chloe...

she's sitting under a palm tree
being waited on by some hunky husky.

Oh! Thank you!

[groans] I must be starving.

- Yeah. That's our churro.
- Sí, our churro.

Excuse me, but... I saw it first!

- Better back off, muchachos.
- [laughing]

Looks like we have
one of those Chihuahua warriors!

Now look, I've been dognapped,
lost my favorite cashmere sweater...

slept in a box and I'm starting another
in a series of bad hair days.

So don't... push me!

- Let's get out of here, man.
- Sorry... sorry.

That's what I thought. Ha!

It's time to pay the piper,
perra pequeña.

- Where were we?
- [Delgado] Hang on, kid!

[El Diablo] Still trying to be the hero!
I'll smell you out, Delgado.

[ Los Pericos:

The Aztec Empire's heart
was right here in Chapultepec Park.

Once used by the kings
as a royal retreat.

[crowd screams]


- Move it! Hurry up!
- I am!

- Come on! Two at a time!
- I have four-inch legs.

Come on. This way.

Not this way.

- Where to now?
- Now we're trapped.

- Now what?
- I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

Why did you abandon me?

I've already been abandoned once.

You left me, I didn't leave you!

I saw you in there
getting pampered, and eating...

The closest I came to food
was a used churro.


Come on, let's go.

- Where are we going?
- I'm taking you to Puerto Vallarta.

- Somebody there can help us.
- That on the way to Beverly Hills?

Over here. Jump in.

- Delgado?
- What?

Why is El Diablo after me?

Vasquez must have sent him.

Who's Vasquez?

He runs the dog fights and anything
else he can make a quick buck at.

The police have been after him
for years, but he's slippery.

How do you know all that?

Were you a criminal or something?

Or something. Get some sleep.

It's a long ride
and tomorrow's a big day.

What did El Diablo mean by,
"Still trying to be the hero?"


Never mind.

[truck engine starts]

[mariachi music playing]

[sniffing] What the...
What's this? That's Chloe's bootie!

Hey, lady!

What? What is it?
Chloe's bootie. Good job.

She is near. I can feel it.

Hey, wait for me!


[Sam] He said...

he saw a white Chihuahua
with a bunch of dogs run through here.

She was being carried
by a German Shepherd...

- German Shepherd carried my Chloe?
- Let's go!

I'm going to kick some tail. Papi style!

- [phone ringing]
- Yes?

[Rafferty] Someone else
is looking for that dog.

There is a lot of money riding on
this Chihuahua, do you understand?

They cannot find her before we do.

- I'm on it.
- Good.

Come on, baby.

Come on, Diablo.

[ The Cat Empire:

OK, this is us. We're here.
Shake your last bootie and let's go.

- [Chloe] What's your plan?
- [Delgado] OK, here's the deal.

Plant your paws here, keep your muzzle
shut, and wait for me to come back.

But... where are you going?

You're very withholding, you know that?

I guess this is my day at the spa.


Much better.

There she is.
Now, you remember the con, right?

I don't really have to eat you, do I?

Only swallow my legs.
OK, here we go. Easy on the teeth.

- Act scary.
- OK.

Help! Help, please help me!

- Help me, somebody! Help!
- You're choking me.

Keep your tongue to yourself.

Help me! Somebody, please!

This is just like Animal Planet.
What do I do?

Something! Anything! Help!

Shoo, lizard. Shoo, shoo.
Regurgitate that rat!


Oh, my gosh. Are you all right? Hello?

Are you an angel? Am I dead?

No. And I'm not an angel.

And yet you're wearing a halo.

This? This is my collar
from Harry Winston.

- Is that in heaven?
- [Chloe] Well...

Sort of. Beverly Hills.


Beverly Hills.
You're a long way from home.

Perhaps I can be of assistance.
I am Manuel.

I work on a luxury cruise ship
as a porter...

tending to the discriminating needs
of refined, upscale dogs like yourself.

Really? Do you think you
could help me get home?

Well, you saved my life.
It's the very least I can do.


[indistinct Spanish]



- Hey, Tomas.
- It's really you, cuz?

What happened? Where you been?
Nobody's seen you since...

You know, a while.

Look... I'm doing this
little security gig.

I'm taking a rich Chihuahua
back to Beverly Hills.

She's got a tag
on her collar.

So take her to a rescue shelter.

- They'll read it and call the owner.
- Not that simple.

Vasquez is looking for her,
he's got informants everywhere.

He's even got El Diablo after her.

El Diablo. That's why you're doing it?

That delincuente is behind me.

It's just a job. Can you get
Officer Mendez to call her tag?

Yeah, OK. Bring it to me.

- I'll see what I can do.
- Gracias.

Come on, let's go.
I found someone to read your tag.

- Really? So did I.
- Where's your collar?

You're not the only one
who can get things done.

- What?
- I gave my collar to Manuel...

He is taking it to
the ship's captain to read.

Manuel? Who's Manuel?

The kindly pack rat
who's helping me out.

I saved him from
being eaten by an iguana.

An iguana? An iguana!

That is the oldest con in the book!
Iguanas are vegetarians!

I'm sorry. I don't meet
many iguanas on Rodeo Drive.

Without your ID tag...

there's nothing to separate you
from any collarless stray on the street!

But... Well...

Manuel promised me
he'd be right back from the ship.

What ship? That ship?

What happened to the
"don't talk to strangers"?

You said nothing about iguanas.


[Manuel] then I said, "Are you an
angel?" American dogs are so gullible.

[laughs] Chico, who is the
greatest con man in Mexico?

You are. And now,
can we steal some lunch? I'm hungry.

- Where did you get that?
- Please don't eat me, man!

I got a wife and 300 kids to feed.

- Eat him first!
- Where is the Chihuahua?

Chihuahua? I don't know any Chihuahua.
I'm from the Yucatán.

Of course if you'd like to meet one,
I could arrange it for the right price.

You're about to be lunch.

That's the right price.
How'd you know?

Do something, Manuel.

You're trying my patience,

Stop trying his patience.

- Where is she?
- By the fountain, near the docks.

I didn't know she was a friend of yours.
I was just borrowing it.

Please don't hurt me.

[short growl]

Hmm. Hmm.

[Manuel] Ha! That's dog's lucky
I didn't cha-cha on his chest.

You know, Manuel, I don't think
that dog was a friend of hers.

It's not our problem, Chico.

Come on, let's go raid a piñata.
I feel like feeding my sweet tooth.

Leave me out of this, Manuel.
Where there's a piñata, there's a stick.

- Uh, Delgado?
- Yeah?

What are we doing here?

- This is where we meet the coyote.
- A coyote?

A smuggler. They sneak collarless dogs
like us across the border.

You used to be a police dog, didn't you?

That's how you know Sergeant Tomas.
That's how you can do all those things.

- I don't want to talk about it.
- Did you quit? Did you get fired?

Did you do something wrong?

Yes, I did something wrong, OK?
You satisfied?

Now, just drop it.


There he is. We're on. Follow me.

- And no more questions.
- OK. OK.

- But what was it? Was someone hurt?
- [Delgado] Drop it! Just drop it!

[speaks Spanish]

You're driving me crazy.

You're not exactly the most charming
traveling companion either.

- Good, because we're parting ways.
- What?

Wait, wait! What are you doing?

This train will take you to Tijuana.

- But...
- But nothing.

The coyote will take you
over the border.

- Buenos Días.
- Wha...

Make yourself at home. [laughs]

Best of luck.

But... you promised.



Don't turn around. Don't turn around.

Don't... What am I doing?

- Delgado!
- Chloe!

- Delgado!
- Chloe!

Come on. Jump!

It's a fast train!

You can do it! Jump!

That hurt.

OK, good.

- I could use a little help.
- I'll pull you up.

[Chloe shrieks]

- Don't help. Don't help.
- [shrieks]

[heavy breathing]


What can I say? A promise is a promise.

Sure thing, Delgado.

[Rachel] Sam! How do you say
"lost" in Spanish?

[speaks Spanish]



Wait, he's got something.

Papi! Papi!

You! That scent.
Where did you get that scent?

Maybe you haven't noticed,

but I'm currently napping
in a sewage pipe.

You mean the moldy taco?

No, fool. The perfume. It's Chloe's.

She's an American Chihuahua.

Her ears are as pink as seashells...

and her nose is like a raspberry.

- You serious, bro?
- Eh? A berry?

[speaks Spanish]

Is she kind of uppity?
Wears matching clothes?

- You know her? Where is she?
- Last we saw her...

- she was with Delgado on the run.
- Yeah.

- Mm-hm.
- Delgado? Who is this Delgado?

I want to hear more. Come with me.

Looks like he found a couple of friends.

Just what we need, stray dogs.

Papi was a stray dog.
I saved him from the pound.

Hey, buddy.

He inspires me every day.
What inspires you, Rachel?

Get back to you on that.

- [whimpers]
- Hey.

Look at that. How you doing? Hello.

I guess he is kind of cute.
We could take them with us,

but you have to give them a bath,
they stink.

I can handle that.

- You stink! Oh!
- You just need a bath.

Oh, I love this!

I think I'm in love
with the gringa.

[ Los Lonely Boys:

- I think he likes it.
- I think he likes you.

Where you going? Wait for me!

- [splashing]
- [screaming]

Oh, yeah. Mira, I'm clean.
I'm clean. I never knew clean.

I know clean now.

I have never had
my teeth brushed before.

It's... minty.

[chuckles] It's weird.

Papi, this is great!

- We should call room service.
- Let's order a movie.

Have we found a home, Papi?

I don't know, but they'll make sure
you're safe.

Sam did it for me.

See you tomorrow.

- Come on.
- No, they can stay with me.

I take responsibility.

[Sam] Cool.

Papi, what do you see, compa?

It's a big place, my little friend.

I may be small, but I am fighting...

for something... bigger than all of it.

Mi Corazón.

[ Enrique Iglesias:

Excuse me. Where are you from?

- I'm from Beverly Hills.
- [puppy] Where is that?

Well... it feels like
a long way from here.

Señorita, what is that?

It's a bootie. I lost the others.

All the dogs in Beverly Hills
wear them to protect their feet.

It must be very dirty there.

[chuckles] No. Actually, it's probably
the cleanest place I know.

Then that's pretty silly
to wear a bootie.

Pedro, be polite.

You know something, Pedro?

You're right.


[train horn blows]


- [knocking on door]
- [Sam] Rachel.


Come on, Sleeping Beauty, let's go.

[Sam] Detective Ramirez called.

A white Chihuahua and a German
Shepherd were seen in Puerto Vallarta.

They're not sure if it was her,
she wasn't wearing her collar.

What? Someone stole Chloe's collar?

I'm going to go
all kinds of Mexican on him.

Chico, I have this pain
in the pit of my stomach.

- Must have been the Pop Rocks.
- Or it could be... guilt.

We should have never
stolen that chica's collar.

Now she'll never get home.

[speaks Spanish]

[both screaming]

Let's get out of here!

[makes donkey-like sounds]


Make a left, make a left.

Aisle four, tortillas on the floor.

- I feel naked.
- Every man for himself!

- My head!
- Go through his legs!

This way. Come on!

Back the other way!

Get off me!

Hey, Chico! We're home free!

Back up, back up!

That's what you get!

Hey! He's got my diamonds!

- Our diamonds.
- Whatever.

[speaks Spanish]

[train horn blows]

Wake up! The conductor's coming!
Hide! Rápido, hide!

[indistinct chatter]

What's going on?

- Delgado, what's happening?
- We got trouble.

Hide behind the crate.
I'll distract him.

Don't come out,
no matter what happens.

But, Delgado...

Don't come out,
no matter what happens.

- What are you gonna do?
- Something crazy.

- [screaming]
- [crashing]

Well, that used to be easier.

Just my luck.


- Oh, my gosh.
- Oh, my back.

- Did you see that?
- Yes.

I just jumped off a train!
By myself! And it was moving.

I told you to stay onboard.

But we're in this together.
I couldn't leave you here.

I've never had a friend like you.

You should have stayed, kid.
Look around.

You should have stayed.

I told the local police
I found the collar on a rat.

But they didn't believe me.

I went to turn the diamonds in,
and they tried to arrest me.

Sorry for the confusion, señor.

The rat, he's clever.

Oye, this hombre
needs help.

I set traps to keep him out,
but he always gets in!

Sneaky, sneaky mouse.

You know what you need?

- [barks]
- A guard dog.

- He's a stray.
- Yeah, he's a stray...

but he's a really good dog.

[speaks Spanish]

[Rachel] Thanks for
returning Chloe's collar.

Congratulations, amigo.
You have a home.

Gracias, Rafa.
It will happen for you, too.

Stay brown, brother.

Come on.
Ain't nothing to it but to do it.

- Adiós
- Adiós, Chucho.

Hey, don't chew the furniture.

- Good luck finding your dog.
- [Sam] Thank you.

I just got off
with the Puerto Vallarta police.

There was some dog trouble
on the northbound train this morning.

A German Shepherd jumped off.


- Thank you.
- Call me if you find out anything.

- [Rachel] Follow the tracks north.
- [Sam] Through the Sonoran Desert.

[Rachel] This will be great.

She's getting away with my diamonds.

[Chico] I think that that's like...
karma, man.

See, you steal it,
and eventually it is stolen from you.

And I steal it back.

- How you going to do that?
- Quiet!

[ War:
Low Rider]

[Chloe] So, Bimini says that
she's going out with Scooter...

who I happen to know
is completely crazy.

[Delgado] Please, make it stop.

[Chloe] I can't say that to her.
I have to be supportive, right?

Wait a minute. Haven't we
passed this tree before?

No, you're mistaken.
We've been walking for hours.

- But I tinkled there.
- You what?

You tinkled?

Can't you tell?

Oh, my... You can't smell, can you?


- No.
- What happened?

It's OK, you can tell me.

I didn't... quit the police force.

They let me go because
I could no longer follow a scent.

Now we're out here walking in circles.

I'm sorry, kid.

[distant growling]

- What's that?
- Mountain lions!

- I'm scared, Delgado.
- I know.

We better get moving.
We got to get out of the open.

- OK.
- Let's go. Double time.

Delgado, what happened to you?

Why can't you smell anything?


My partner and I...
we were on a major bust.

I was on point.

Before I knew it I was blind-sided.
Then it all went bad.

While I was down,
my partner got hurt.

He was never the same after that.
And neither was I.

I should have sensed him coming.

Next day I woke up
and couldn't smell a thing.

Were you hurt?

No. They say it's all in my head.

In my head.


They found us!

I'll hold them off as long as I can
while you run. Understand?

They're just cats.
You could take them.


We need a miracle. Run when I say run!

- Come on! Take them!
- [growls]

Yeah, you can do it!

Don't be afraid!

Go, Delgado! Go, Delgado!

- Run, kid! Run, now!
- OK, OK.

- Run and hide!
- Here. I'm here.

This is not hiding.


[rumbling stops]

[dogs growling]

Say hello to my little friends.


- [cats shriek]
- [barking]

Whoa! That's some bark you guys got.

I am Montezuma!
Come with us if you want to live.

Yeah, I want to live.

Now I've seen it all.

[Chloe] Can you help us get back
to civilization, Montezuma?

[Montezuma] Of course.

But it is too dangerous
to travel these canyons after dark.

You will spend the night here with us.

[Chloe] Where are we?

You are in Chihuahua.
Birthplace of our mighty breed.

I was born in Beverly Hills.

Sí, but your ancestors
came from here.

The Aztec people left long ago,
but we remain.


[ Luis Oliveira and His Bandodalua Boys:

Did you hear what he said, Delgado?

- I come from a mighty breed.
- Yeah, mighty annoying.

You're just mad because
we were saved by little dogs.

Very little dogs.

Tonight we celebrate your arrival.

Thank you, Montezuma.

Please, call me Monte.

- [Chloe sighs]
- [Delgado] Ay yi yi.


[Chloe] Wow! All this for me, Monte?

[Monte] Yes, Chloe.

When a Chihuahua comes home,
it is cause for celebration.

[Chloe] Even a Beverly Hills Chihuahua?

[Monte] Of course. No matter where
you come from, you are one of us.

Tiny but mighty.

Mighty? But I'm just... a lapdog.

A lapdog? No.

Do not insult yourself. Do not insult
the Chihuahua race.

- [all] No más.
- [Chloe] No más?

Sí, it means "no more."

We Chihuahuas are not toys
or fashion accessories.

[all] No más.

We were not bred to wear silly hats
and ride in purses!

[all] No más.

We will no longer
be spoken to with baby talk.

We have been called "teacup"
and "tiny toy" for too long.

[puppy] No más!

Names like Fifi, Foo-Foo...

Pookie, Pumpkin, or Squirt.

[all] No más!

Yes, we Chihuahuas shake, but not for
the amusement of humans.

We shake because we know the power
of our inner strength. Our bark.

[all] No más!

Yes, we are tiny, but we are mighty!

[all] No más! No más! No más!

Join with us, Chloe.
Embrace no más. Find your bark.

My bark?

Sí! That which makes you mighty.

That which makes you... you.

We are Chihuahuas, hear us roar.

[all barking]

- [bark]
- [Chloe squeaks]

- [bark]
- [squeak]


That was embarrassing.

Don't worry, little one. Your bark will
come when you need it most.

[all barking]

[speaks Spanish]

Last one in the house is a chew toy!

[speaks Spanish]

They have room.

[Manuel] Come on. Little more.

- You got it now. Now pull.
- [Chico] I got it, I got it.

- Sweet smell of success.
- I'm smelling something else.

There's the bag. There's the bag that's
got my diamonds. Hey, watch your nose!

I don't feel right about this.

Look, my neck flap is swelling up.

Stop with the guilt.
Iguanas are supposed to be cold-blooded.

You know I was born in captivity.
I grew up under a heat lamp.

Snap out of it. We got a job to do.

Ah-hah! You're the pack rat
who stole the collar!

See? You're so busted, Manuel.

Hey, dude, you got me mixed up with
another rat. You know we all look alike.

- No, no. It's him. He did it.
- What?

Now the love of my life
is out there in trouble.

- Not because of us.
- No?

- We were trying to... save her.
- Yeah.

From the demon dog that's hunting her.

Tell me about this demon dog.

[low growl]


Chloe, you can always stay here with us.

This place is amazing, Monte.

But there's someone at home who's
probably worried and missing me...

and I miss him.

Your corazón?

Mi corazón. What does that mean?

My heart.

I never even gave him a chance.

We Chihuahuas come
in many shapes and colors...

but when you look not with your eyes,
but with your soul,

there we're all the same.

Listen... back there with the lions...

...uh... uh... thanks.

But of course. We are Chihuahuas.

Ah! Civilization at last.
We made it, Delgado.

- Delgado!
- Just keep paddling!

[Chloe] Whoa!

- That was fun!
- Yeah, you're a real aquatic goddess.

- Delgado, look!
- What?

Is that you? Nice toga.

I can't believe Rachel's looking for me.

Let's get some help.

[both barking]

[speaks Spanish]

- Chloe.
- Sí.

[both speak Spanish]

We always kept a dog
when my husband was alive.

He'd make a great companion.
You guys are perfect for each other.

Somebody's got a lady friend.

I have a home.

We're on our way. Hey, Rachel,
that was Ramirez. They found Chloe.


Whoa. Awkward.

We should go.
Ramirez is going to meet us there.

I told you,
everything's going to be fine.

[ The Pinker Tones:
Whistling Song]

[Rachel] This is the place.



OK, how about here?
You American dogs are so picky.

OK, go. What?

Ah. Excuse me, señorita.
Please, please, go.

I've seen that gringo before.


Oye, that van.
My Chloe's been there.

Right on, Mighty Dog. Power to the Papi.

- Now go get her!
- [Chico] Go get your princesa.

- ¡Mi corazón!
- [Chico] So romantic.

Man, I thought we'd
never get rid of him.

- Come on.
- Now I'll finally get my diamonds.

[Chico] For the love of a banana,
hurry. Ow!


Oh, no. No!

[shouts in Spanish]


[speaks Spanish]

- [Delgado] Turn me loose!
- What did he say?

- Don't worry, we're going to find her.
- What?


I'm going to look for her.



Kid! Where are you? Chloe!

[gasping] Where are you taking me?

Good job, Diablo. Good job.

You've been a lot of trouble, huh?
I hope you're worth it.

I need to call the owners,
so get the dog in the van.

[man] Yes, sir.


- [crunch]
- [man screams]

Don't mess with a Chihuahua!

Papi! What are you doing here!

Rescuing you. Run!

- Come on.
- I'm coming.

Go! Diablo, go!

- [Vasquez] Get that Chihuahua!
- [Rafferty] Which one?

- The mean one!
- Papi!

- We're trapped!
- I will protect you, mi corazón.

Hold on, Chloe!

Come on, little brat.


[both grunt]

[Manuel] Ow!

Oh, my back. I need an aspirin.

- Doesn't that hurt?
- You see a tooth around?

You two! What are you doing here?

It's not what you think.

Look... we're not trying
to steal this collar.

- Right.
- Maybe we are.

Look, what my partner's
trying to say is, if you hurry,

- you can pick up her scent using this.
- Yeah.

- I can't.
- What?

I make this noble gesture,
you're not even going to try?

What's the point of having that
thing on the end of your face?


- I can't!
- She needs you, man.

- What part don't you understand?
- She needs you, man!

You can do it! Smell.

- That's it.
- You can do it, Delgado. Come on.


I'm getting something. Pack rat.

Old nachos.

Chanel No. 5.

He's got it!

I have a Chihuahua to save.

- He's got my collar!
- Yeah, he's got it.

You did a good thing, Manuel.
You know you did a good thing.

- [Manuel laughs]
- You're blushing. You're blushing.

[men speaking Spanish]

[Rachel] That's Chloe's collar.

He wants to lead us
to the Chihuahua. Let's go.

Be careful.
The whole structure is crumbling.

[Vasquez] Rafferty,
there's no sign of the dog.

[Papi] Hey, tough guy,
you're lucky I'm locked in.

[Vasquez] Rafferty, come in.

[Papi] You look confused.

Hey, man, where you going?
To find the rest of your tail?

[Vasquez] Rafferty, come in.

I know you're here, chica.
I can smell you.

[Vasquez] Rafferty, come in, come in.

- Rafferty.
- Sorry, you're breaking up, boss.

[Delgado squeaks]

I'm going to get you now, you rat.

Hello. One down.

Rafferty, what's going on?
Talk to me. What's going on?

- Chloe, you're okay.
- Shhh.

Come in. I cannot hear you. Come on.


- Who you been hanging around with?
- Diablo, let's get out...

- Get them. Get them!
- [Chloe] Run!

- Follow me!
- [Papi] We can do it!

Whoa, you heard the man.
Come on, get me.

[Papi] Too slow, gotta go!

- [Chloe shrieks]
- [grunting]

Come here. Come here!

[Papi] You better watch out, dog.
I'm going to beat you like a piñata!

They don't call me
Papi Loco for nothing!

Come on, little rat. Come on!

- Whoa!
- Papi!

Say goodbye to your corazón.

No... más. [squeaks]

No más. [squeaks]

It's over.

- Chloe!
- No más!

[loud bark]


Wow! That's my bark.


I barked!

[speaks Spanish]

I barked!

Two down.

He's all yours, Officer.

[Officer] Señor Vasquez.

- Did you see that?
- Wow.

I barked!

Ai, Mami! Nice set of pipes!

- [growling]
- [Chloe] Run!

It's time to finish what I started.

You don't scare me anymore!

Then why are you shaking?

Because I am a Chihuahua!

[growling] Diablo!

Big mistake.

Leave him alone!

- Chloe, what are you doing?
- [Chloe] You owe me a cashmere sweater.

- Hang on, Chloe!
- [Delgado] Kid, hang on.

- How dare you!
- [Papi] Chloe, watch out!

[Chloe screams]


It's over, Diablo! It is over!

You took everything from me.

- Now, we're even.
- [gulps]

[Papi] Chloe?

Mi corazón?

[distant growl]


She's... gone.

Wake up, mi corazón.

It's me. Your Papi.

Speak to me.

Fill my ears with your beautiful voice.

Without you, the sun
will have no warmth...

the flowers, no beauty.

Chloe, my tail will have no wag.

Come back to Beverly Hills with me,
and I will tend your garden forever.

Your love is the rain
that falls upon my earth.

Don't stop now. It's just getting good.

Ai Chihuahua!

Papi, that was beautiful.

Chloe, you're back. You're back.

[Rachel] Chloe?

[Papi] She's back!

You're OK.

Chloe, where have you been?

Rachel, you missed all the fun.

[Delgado] You are one tough Chihuahua.

Tiny but mighty.

[Rachel] Hi, Chloe.

Hi. Hi.

[police siren]


[Delgado] So you're the... guard dog.

No, man. I'm a landscaper.

- [laughs] Oops.
- Right.

Well, adiós, kid.

Oh, uh... Delgado.

You know,
Vivian could still use a guard dog.

Thanks for the offer,
but someone has to go after El Diablo.

Besides, princesa, I think you
can take care of things yourself now.

I'll miss you.

Yeah, I'll miss you, too, kid.
But this isn't goodbye.

I'm sure we'll be
seeing each other again.


Don't turn around. Don't turn around.

Maybe you could use
a little extra help on the force.

Where do you think
you are going, officer?

Ready to get back on the job?



[both bark]

Yeah. Good boy. Good boy.

[Rachel] Chloe! Papi! Let's go home.

We gotta get home before Aunt Viv does.

Hey, come here.

Goodbye, my friends. [speaks Spanish]

[speaks Spanish]

- Adiós, amigo.
- [Delgado] Adiós, kid.

Muchas gracias, Delgado.

Thank you, Chloe.
I've never had a friend like you.

Great, she's not home yet.
She'll be here any minute.

- Can you get the bags?
- Yeah, I'll get the bags.

- I'll put her in the tub.
- Go, go, go.

Hurry up!

Come on. We're going to make it.

Oh-oh. Think fast, amigo.

Hi! How are you? Welcome.

- Welcome. Hi.
- What a surprise. Hello.

I took photographs
of the most wonderful gardens.

You're not going to believe.
First, I want to go see Chloe.

- Actually, I need you to see something.
- That's the best you can do?

- Something you're gonna love.
- Should I bite her leg?

By the way, you look exhausted.
You've been working too hard.

Chloe? Chloe.

- Sam, put my bags over there, please?
- Yes.

Chloe? Rachel?

- Hi, Aunt Viv.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Your hair is all wet.

I was in a bath.

- Oh. Where's my Chloe?
- There she is.

Hi, sweetheart.

Hi. Come here.
Hi, sweetheart.

My baby girl. My sweet angel.

I missed you so much. I did.

Yes, I did.

What's that smell? What's that...

[Viv] It's sort of... urban and...

kind of earthy... and it's fabulous.

That's Mexico No. 5.

I can't believe I'm running over
a pond in my best dress.

So does this mean you're no longer a
prissy Beverly Hills Chihuahua?

Beverly Hills, sí. Prissy,
no más.

How do you say "What are you doing
on Friday night" in Spanish?

[both speak Spanish]

Me? Nothing. And you?

- Nada.
- Bueno, let's...

After the way I treated you,

I can't believe you came after me.

How could I not?

[speaks Spanish]

I think I'm... going to cry.


Oh, Chloe. [laughs]

[chuckles] Papi likes.

[Papi] In case
you were wondering, amigos.

Delgado received the medal of honor for
capturing his archnemesis, El Diablo.

Shortly after entering the pound,

El Diablo was adopted by a rich lady
with a passion for fashion.

Rafa became the official
spokesdog for Minty Mutt.

For that doggy fresh breath
all day long.

Bimini, Sebastian, and Delta
landed a dream spot

on TV's hottest new reality show,

So You Think You Can Prance. Hey!

Chico and Manuel
stowed away to Beverly Hills...

where they learned
a new English word...


This was Chloe and
me on our first date.

And who knows? Maybe there are
a few taquitos in our future.

Let's just say
mi corazón puts the "wow" in...

... Chihuahua!

[ Ali Dee:

[ Heitor Pereira:
Llama ("Chloe's Theme")]

Special thanks to SergeiK.