Bottle Rocket Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Bottle Rocket script is here for all you fans of the Wes Anderson movie with Luke Wilson and Owen Wilson. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Bottle Rocket quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

Bottle Rocket Script

Hey, Dr. Nichols, I was just
coming down to say good-bye.

Anthony, I came to help you
with your bags.

That's okay. I can take 'em
down myself. I got 'em.

What's... What's this?

What's going on?

Well, see, my friend Dignan didn't
realize this was a voluntary hospital...

and he got this whole
escape thing worked out.

He just got
so excited about the thing...

I didn't have the heart
to tell him...

no, that...

Look how excited he is.

I gotta do it this way, Dr. Nichols.
I gotta climb out.

It's only one floor down.

Okay. But can you do it fast?

You know, this doesn't look good.
None of this looks good at all.

Well, thanks very much, Dr. Nichols.

You've really been a great help.
You've been a great doctor.

Well, thank you.

Can you hand me my bag, please?

See ya.

Hey, Anthony, don't try
to save everybody, okay?

Okay, I won't.


- See ya later, Felicia.
- Hey, Anthony. Thanks for everything.

- Good-bye. Take care.
- Bye, Barbara.

- See ya, Chris.
- Thanks, Anthony.

Come on. Any problems?
Yes! Wonderful.

Wait, wait.
Who'd you get to do that?

Did you bribe the janitor?

- Driver, what's our E.T.A.?
- 7:30.

Good. We're on schedule. Here's
our agenda for the next few months.

- You'll find everything is in order.
- Practice job. Looks good.

That's our first move when we get back.
Look it over. I'll brief you on the way.

This is what I was trying to do.

The practice job, a heist.

You and I both respond to goals.

- It all leads to Mr. Henry.
- The guy from the letters.

Exactly. This is rough.

You and I respond to structure...

and that's what's important.

"The next 50."

So, did you enjoy your first
visit to the nuthouse?

Come on. Be sensitive to the fact
that other people...

are not comfortable talking
about emotional disturbances.

You know I am. I'm fine with that.
But other people...

Put it behind you.
You're out. You're better.

- You're right.
- And so it begins.

Now, we should also get on a fitness
regime... sit-ups, hitting the bags...

I was running ten miles a day
when I was in the desert.

Were you really?
That's good cardiovascular.

When did you get so avid
about the fitness thing, Dignan?

What? What do you mean by avid?

I've never known you
to be all that athletic.

You've never known me
to be all that athletic?

- Does it sound weird?
- Not that you're not a good athlete.

- Does it sound weird to talk about it?
- It doesn't sound weird.

I'm not saying it's the top priority,
but I think it's a good goal.

- I think it's a really good goal.
- Here, put these on.

- Obviously, good quickness.
- Yeah, in and out pretty fast.

- Real fast, and good intensity.
- High intensity.

Great, 'cause
I was like really fast.

The preparation was good.
I think that's your specialty.

If I said that, it would sound
like bragging. Okay, criticisms.

- Criticisms.
- I've only one: not very thorough.

- Left a lot of valuables.
- I don't think that was a mistake.

That was one of the limitations
of this job.

By the way, great job in there.

- It was nice working with you, 'cause...
- Thank you.

Next order of business: Mr. Henry.

You're probably wondering when
I'm going to introduce you to Mr. Henry.

In answer to that question, very soon.
In fact, judging from how well that...

Here you go.
You gotta do that.

Judging from how well
that job went today...

including the coins and earrings...

was, to say the least...

You took the earrings, Dignan?
You took 'em?

Well, it's my fault. Ultimately,
Anthony, when are you gonna learn?

Man, you got another ball!
Should I play your game?

I know you remember the list,
'cause you signed it.

"The things Dignan's
not supposed to touch."

I can't be sorting through all that shit
in the middle of a burglary.

Hey, I don't care, okay? I bought
the earrings for my mother's birthday.

I went down,
I picked 'em out myself.

Hey, one thing is, every valuable item
in the house was on that list.

Maybe we should've robbed your house.
Did you ever think of that?

I bet that never crossed your mind.

What? What? Come on, Dignan!

You know there's nothing
to steal from my mom and Craig.

Hey, Grace!

You're supposed to be in Arizona.

What, you don't say hi anymore?
Come on.

Is this the...
Are you the pilot?

No, I'm Anthony.
I'm Grace's brother.

Will you excuse us
for a minute, Bernice?

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

You told her...

You told your friend Bernice
I'm some kind of jet pilot?

What was I supposed to say,
they stuck you in an insane asylum?

It wasn't an insane asylum, Grace.
I explained it was for exhaustion.


Yes, exhaustion.

You haven't worked a day in your life.
How could you be exhausted?

Okay, sit down. Okay?

I didn't come up here today
to argue with you, okay?

- I got some friends waiting for me...
- Who?

- Some associates.
- Dignan?

Yeah, Dignan, but also...

What's wrong with Dignan, Grace?
I thought you liked Dignan.

- I do like Dignan.
- Then why did you sigh?

But he's a liar.

Bob Mapplethorpe,
potential getaway driver, go!

Bob Mapplethorpe,
potential getaway driver, go!

- Go.
- There's an air of mystery about me.

Don't complicate it. Your strength is
you have a car you can provide.

Sell yourself. Start over.
You ready? Go.

Okay. All right.
I'm a risk taker.

I'm growin' an entire crop of marijuana
plants in my parents' back yard.

Wait a second. You're growing an entire
crop of marijuana in your back yard?

Dignan, look. I'm just not that good
at this selling yourself stuff, okay?

So I'm just
gonna tell you the truth.

I really want to be
a part of this team...

and I'm the only one
with a car.

That's good.

'Cause that hits me right here.

Okay, can you do me a favor
and take...

I want you to take these earrings
and put them in Mom's mahogany box.

- Put them in your backpack.
- What are you doing with these?

Could you just put them
in the box, please, Grace?

You've really gotten into the bad habit
of asking a huge amount of questions.


I gotta go, okay, pal?

What's gonna happen to you, Anthony?

Geez, Grace, what the hell
kind of question is that to ask me?

When are you coming home?

Grace, I can't come home.
I'm an adult.

Why you looking at me
like that? Huh?

When I was little, I wanted to know
what caused thunder...

How'd it go with Grace?
How'd it go?

- Can we leave, please, Bob?
- Sure.

Little kids are really cute.
She is a cute little kid.

What happened? I just have no idea.
I mean, how did Grace get so cynical?

I can't answer that now. My only concern
is getting you back in the car.

- She's come to this conclusion...
- Get back in the car where you can...

- She thinks I'm a failure.
- What? She said you were a failure?

What has she ever accomplished
with her life?

- What do I do?
- You don't have to do anything.

I'm not saying that
she has to look up to me at all.

- Don't worry about it.
- Maybe she should. Why not?

- She told her friend I was a pilot.
- Stop for a second and look at this.

- Oh, no.
- Fact: I learned more...

in the two months
I spent with Mr. Henry...

than I learned in 15 years
of academic study.

Fact: I can guarantee you,
after Mr. Henry sees us pull this job...

he's gonna take a personal interest
in our future.

Fact: Mr. Henry
drives a Jaguar.

Fact: The picture's
not doing it for me right now.

Well, does the fact that
I'm trying to do it do it for you?

I hate to interrupt
your conversation, guys...

but I think I know
what you've been going through...

'cause I've been through
some pretty heavy shit myself.

If you're feeling alone,
like nobody in the world cares...

and nobody in the fucking world
gives a shit, then I'm here.

- That was a stop sign.
- I'm ready to listen, man.

If you want,
I'll even open up first.

My brother... That's a shit situation.
He beats the crap out of me always.

I don't suppose either of you know
why Bob's car is parked out front.

Yeah, he's here.

- He's ins...
- He's here at the house.

Let me see if Bob's
keeping the pool clean.

- That's Future Man.
- Yeah, I know.

What the fuck is this?

Vamanos, Clay. Bob, you were told to
thoroughly clean the pool this morning.

- It's a leaf.
- It was one leaf!

Your name's Anthony, isn't it?

Yeah, his name's Anthony.
My name's Dignan.

I'm Stacy Sinclair,
Elizabeth's sorority sister.

I didn't know
she had a sister.

Oh, my God.
You have the best sense of humor.

She is going to be so jealous
I saw you here.

So, you go to school
in Arizona, right?

- No, I was in the hospital.
- Oh, what for?

I went nuts.

- He's kidding. He didn't go nuts.
- You poor thing. How'd it happen?

- Do you really wanna know?
- Yes, I really do.

One morning
over at Elizabeth's beach house...

she asked me if I'd rather
go water skiing or lay out.

And I realized that not only did I
not want to answer that question...

but I never wanted to answer
another water-sports question...

or see any of these people again
for the rest of my life.

Three days later I was on my way
out to the desert, and that was that.

Bullying son of a bitch!

You're calling me a bully?
Here's a bully for ya!

Hold on, Bob! You're only
gonna make this take longer!

You're really complicated,
aren't you?

- My ear!
- I try not to be.

Okay, escape route is crucial...

in case somebody is tailing us
or even chasing us, as the case may be.

We can't be sure
how it is gonna happen.

Do you think
we're gonna be chased?

That's a good question.
No, I don't think we're gonna be chased.

I'm just being hypocritical here.
However, I will say...

Bob, please don't interrupt me, man,
'cause I'm trying to stay focused.

You're responsible for the external
situation, streets and the getaway.

Excuse me. Are the explosives
really necessary here?

I think it would be a lot more simple if
I just walked up to the door alone.

- I think that would be...
- Why are you undermining me?

How many bullets does this thing take?
Look, I'm paying attention.

Goddamn it! You're not paying attention
if you're messing around with the gun!

Now, quit... Anthony,
keep the gun on the table.

Look, Dignan, relax.

I can't focus
unless the gun is on the table.

- I paid for it.
- Shut up, man!

I'm warning you now.
Be quiet, please.

- It's true. I paid for the gun.
- Say it one more time.

Say it again.
Repeat what you just said.

I paid for the gun.

He's out. You're out too.

- And I don't think I'm in, either.
- Calm down.

No gang!
You two just don't give a shit.

When it comes right down to it,
you don't care.

How does an asshole like Bob
get such a great kitchen?

I apologize.
That was poor leadership.

I'm under a lot of pressure
right now, and...

I don't feel like the team
is gelling the way...

if I can even use that word, 'cause
I don't even know if we are a team.

Hey, we are a team.

Yeah, a team.

There. You see, the star is me.
Right there. I'll be in there.

The X is Anthony. Bob, you're
the zero out here in the car.

What are you putting that tape
on your nose for?


Let's get lucky.

Yo, you open the door.

- Okay, wait right here.
- Come on, let's go.

Don't panic.
Get him to open the door.

- Don't panic.
- I left my sweater inside.

I know. Do you have
a lost and found?

- Here he comes.
- A lost and found?

- I'm sorry. We're closed, sir.
- I left my sweater in...

What's that on your nose?

I cut it. I got a cut across the bridge.
Do you have a lost and found?

- Can you come back tomorrow?
- I can't. I gotta get it tonight.

Well, let me check with my manager.
Hold on one second. Just stand inside.

Hey, excuse me, sir.
We're closed.

- Oh. What about that guy?
- I left my sweater in here.

- He forgot his sweater.
- Oh, yeah? I left some money in there.

- Money? Where?
- In the cash register. Step back.

Where are the other stockers?

Who? Robbie? He might be in Literature.
That's his section.

Hey, is that the manager?
Who is that? Come here!

- I'm gonna go down this aisle.
- What's going on here?

- I'm sending you both back there.
- All right!

Come on, move!

Okay, sit down!
Get up against the wall!

What's in here? Where's the money?
Talk, stretch!

It's in the drawer.

Okay, there it is.
Come on, open up that drawer.

- No, it's not.
- The other one!

There's the money. Okay.

Put it in one of those bags.
Get one of those bags.

Let's move! Come on!
A bigger one, you idiot!

Don't call me an idiot,
you punk.

Do you have bigger bags
for atlases or dictionaries, sir?

- Robbie?
- Uh-huh.

Aren't you supposed to be in literature?

- It's all full up.
- They need you in the office right now.

Put the money in the little bags.
We'll just use a lot of them.

Just do your best.

Why do you wear
that tape on your nose?

Little bags, man.

Okay, everybody...
I want everybody to just sit tight.

Okay. Thank you so much.

Success! Full success!
We're heading back to Bob's.

We're gonna hit the road
and go on the lam! Go!

Okay now, before we divide the loot,
let me say one thing.

Bob gets the "Spirit Award"
on this caper.

And although his share
won't be as equal as ours...

- What? What are you...
- Come here, Bob.

Did you see the look he gave me?
Don't double-cross this guy.

Great work, both of you.
Clink, clink.

So, Dignan, what's next?

Do we meet the crew
after we go on the lam or what?

Everybody wants to know what's next.
May I enjoy this moment?

What crew?

Now is not a good time
to bring up the crew.

Goddamn it.

Ya son of a bitch!
You're gonna cut me out!

Wait a second, Bob. Nobody's
cutting anybody out of anything.

- Let me show you this.
- Whoa.

Bob should see this.

Bob, I got something.

- What's this supposed to be?
- That's the crew.

That's Mr. Henry.
He's a... I know.

Anthony, that's the Lawn Wranglers...

the landscape company
that Dignan here used to work for.

What do you mean, landscaping?

I mean push the mower,
trim the hedge... landscaping.

- Landscaping?
- Landscaping.

Yes, they're landscapers, okay?
Yes, they're landscapers.

But did it ever occur to you
that a landscaping crew...

is a perfect front
for an operation?

Look at this.
You've seen this picture.

That is Mr. Henry, and aside
from owning the Lawn Wranglers...

he is a very talented thief.

Then why aren't you over there
right now?

Because we're fugitives.

And also because he fired me.

Best job I ever had...

working my way up, meeting people...

listening to stories.

One day he walks over and says,
"Dignan, you're out," just like that.

By the way, man, he was right.

Just because it's a front doesn't mean
somebody doesn't have to do landscaping.

But those days are over now.

Just a matter of time
before I pick up the phone and say...

"Mr. H., we are coming home."

So don't worry about your future, man,
because I am thinking.

If you don't mind, I'd appreciate it
if you didn't mention...

to Bob about me getting fired.

I won't.

On the run from Johnny Law.

It ain't no trip to Cleveland.

I love it!

And another one for me!

Bobby, one for you!

Anthony, fire away!

Somebody hand me one! I'm gonna
throw it out the window! Cherry bomb!

Did you hear that?

Dignan, I don't expect you
to be as depressed as I am...

but I don't think...
Watch the road, Bob.

But I don't think that
your happiness is quite appropriate.

I mean, your 75-year plan
does not seem to be working, you know?

The only thing I've learned so far
is that crime does not pay.

Gee, man, that's not the greatest
attitude in the world to have.

I don't think we get anywhere
by complaining, guys.

Okay. You're right.

There we go.

Perfect little place to lie low.

We'II get in touch with Mr. Henry.
I'll get the best room in the house.

Crime does pay.

I can't get my hair cut.
That's just no possible, all right?

You're gonna have to dye it red, man,
'cause we need to hide our identities.

No, I'm sorry.
I can't do that either.

Even if it's the difference between
some trooper throwing us in jail or not?

I guess so.

Then you, my dear friend,
are a damn fool.

Let's go, Bob.
Come on. Bob, let's go!

- See you.
- See you later, Bob.

A damn fool!

- Excuse me.
- No, it's okay. Come on in.

Oh, excuse me.

Gee, it's great how you're able
to bring a room to life like this...

with just a little touch.

Geez, it's...
It's nice out today, isn't it?

Boy, you get a nice breeze
with that door open like this.

It was kind of stuffy in here.

Do you do all of these rooms
yourself? All of these...

I'm Anthony. Anthony.

What's your name?

- Inez.
- Inez. That's... Wow.

Oh. Sorry.

Sorry this is such a mess here.

Here, let me give you
a hand with this.

I think I might've seen you
earlier when I was swimming.

Did you happen to see me there?
By the pool?

Yeah, that was me.


You speak English?


You have really good posture, you know?
You stand up very straight.

You know, people think
that 'cause they're in a hotel...

that they can really
just kind of act like slobs.

It's bad manners,
if you ask me.

But then, if I were guilty
of it, yeah.

Which part of Mexico are you from?

- Paraguay.
- Paraguay.

Boy, okay.
That's kind of over...

- Excuse me.
- Under Guatemala, I think.

Sorry, Inez.

These towels are still warm.

I guess that's
from the dryer. See?


- Sorry.
- No. We're just checking out.

- 0 and 2.
- Son of a bitch!

That's a good haircut there.
Parted on the side.

- Thank you.
- That's what my friend needs to get.

Bob, get one like this.

- They're one out away from a win.
- Here, you go first.

May I speak to you
for a moment, please?

It's about my marijuana crop.
I don't want everyone to hear this.

- I don't want to lose my place in line.
- My brother is in jail.

What? Wait a second.
Your brother's... Why?

- The weed.
- What weed?

The weed from my back...
from my back yard.

They got him by the balls.
What's the official charge?

They say he's a drug dealer.

That's so unfair.
They say he's a drug dealer?

You and I both know
he's not a drug dealer.


- He's not a drug dealer.
- I know, Dignan. I know.

Well? Well, Bob, what about
hiding our identities?

I'm sorry, guys. We're gonna
have to take a rain check.

God, this is great,
sitting here in the laundry room...

you working on your vocabulary
and we're sharing these tamales.

It's... It's just, how unexpected.

What is that, Inez?

Does that open?

Wow, you were just a little girl
when this was taken.

A little girl in Paraguay.

May I keep this?
May I have it?

She's my sister.


She looks just like you.

Can I keep it anyway?

- I'm sorry. We're in the wrong room.
- No, man, this is...

No. Okay, I guess
there's been a mistake made.

212? Do you speak English?
We have a friend.

What the...

Thought you guys
went to get your hair cut.

No, we didn't.

Well, gang,
this is my friend Dig...

My name's Jerry, and this is Cornelius.
Anthony, what's going on?

I'm having a party in here.
I made some banana daiquiris.

- Do you want one?
- Yeah, I guess I'll have one.

Come on in here, man.

This is Inez,
and that's Rocky right there.

Come on, Bob. Shut the door.
Get in here, man.

Anybody else want anything?
Soda for Rocky.

- Come on, Bob, let me get you one.
- Anthony, I've got to talk to you!

Look, I'm sorry.
This seems like a nice soiree...

but I've got a family situation.

I don't care what you think.

Dignan does not want to deal with it.
Please come outside for a minute!

Bob, I'm just saying we gotta
analyze the situation, okay?

First of all,
how long are they gonna hold him?

I don't know. All I know is that Phil
says they got him, that he's in jail.

Okay, I've made a suggestion
that he needs to hire an attorney.

You are pushing your luck, man.

- Hey, Dignan, he does have a point.
- I'm the leader.

- You think I should abandon my brother?
- Yeah.

I'm saying let's keep it...
Let's keep it very simple, okay?

We'll make some calls,
figure out what's going on...

and if he's not out in 48 hours,
then we'II go back, okay?

- What?
- Is that okay?

And I wasn't trying to antagonize you
by saying that stuff.

It's just you were gonna
fly off half-cocked.

- Don't tell me what I was gonna do.
- It's a team decision.

What? What did you...
What does that mean?

l... I don't know
what to say.

- What I'm talking?
- No.

Your skin feels like silk.

Like silk?

- What silk?
- Your skin, it feels so soft and silky.

- It's soft.
- Silk?

Sandpaper. Silk.

- Silk. A new word.
- It's very soft.

I don't know it in Spanish.

Can I kiss you?

Marco! Marco!

No lifeguard on duty.
Swim at your own risk.

Okay, we'll... We'll be
very careful, Jerry. Thank you.

You guys mind if I take a dip?
Hey, I'm kidding.

I'm not that insensitive.

Besides, I didn't bring my trunks,
anyway. How's the water down there?

I'm gonna give you something, okay?
I want you to hold onto this.

Well, thank you for listening
to our old war stories.

I hope they didn't bore you
too terribly.

- Well, anyway, good evening.
- Bye, Jerry.

Anyways, the watch, okay?

It has an alarm on it...

and will go off and make a sound
when we're supposed to meet.

You do that by this little button.
You can just press that. See?

It's pretty simple.

- I have to go.
- I'm very glad I met you, Inez.

Me too. I have to go.

Son of a bitch!

Bob's gone!
He stole his car!

That little coward!
That son of a bitch!

Son of a bitch, man.

He flew the coop
while we were sleepin'.

- He has no character, man.
- Maybe he went up to the store.

No, man, he took his stuff.
He's long gone.

Hi, housekeeping?
Could I speak to Inez, please?

I thought she gets in at 9:00.

Oh, it... Okay. See,
I don't have my watch on.

She has it.

Tell me something.
What's it like working with her?

I bet she's really great at...
Okay. Bye.

We'll get him. We'II get him, man.
Don't worry about that.

And we'll blow up his car
or do something, I guarantee you that.

What makes me furious is thinking
about the look on Bob's fat face...

when he drives away today thinking
that he's pulled one over on us.

- I'll tell you another thing...
- Dignan, please.

If our paths cross again, you're gonna
see a side of me you haven't seen yet...

a sick, sadistic side...
because I'm furious at Bob.

- Come on, Dignan!
- Come on what?

Bob didn't steal the car.
You know, he told me he was leaving.

He went back to help his brother.

Dignan, look. I'm sorry that I didn't
tell you about Bob leaving.

You had just as much right
to know as I did. I'm sorry.

Thank you.
That's all I needed.

I mean, who's to say that you need Bob
to have an adventure?

Where's that rule written?
There's nothing that says that.

What are you working on?

Just a sketch. It's...

It's, you know,
just a little horse...

with little sparks comin' off,
kind of like stardust.


Sorry. It's just...

Don't apologize to me.
Don't do that to me.

Don't treat me like the jealous friend,
because that's not what this is about.

I'm as excited for you
as anybody is.

Really? Then I gotta go.

I'll see you later, Dignan.
See you back at the room.

It's so weird,
the way this happened.

It's so good to be with you.

Why don't you come over to this bar
we're going to, Dignan?

- Where?
- It's in the town.

No, I don't want to go.

Why don't you just come with us?

Why don't you just
come over there with us?

All right.


I certainly can't feel
any worse than I do.

Don't worry.
All he needs is one drink.

Hello, my friend.

- You're in the army, yes?
- No. I just have short hair.

Amigo, let's play pool!

Boy, that guy was
a real chatterbox, wasn't he?

I didn't think he was ever gonna
stop with the story. Jesus!

That's what I call
a language barrier.

- I need to take it easy.
- Amigo, you just cheated!

Okay! I'm calling my gang!

It's just a little frustrating
when you guys talk so easily.

God, you know, I can't believe the guy
just decided to jump you like that.

- Can you pass me those french fries?
- Yeah.

Dignan, you know I was right out
in front of the place with Inez.

If you don't mind,
I'd rather not relive it.

Don't really feel
much like talking about it.

In fact, the only thing I feel like
is getting the fuck out of this town.

Yeah. We need a car, I think.

I have an idea for that.

Inez has a master key
to all the rooms, doesn't she?

Doesn't she?

I don't think we can do that.

I know we can.
It's real simple.

We go into another room,
take some car keys...

It's not even
a possibility, okay?

Then we're gonna
have to hot-wire a car...

and this idea
I don't back down from.

- This idea...
- Inez, let's go outside.

- Jerry's not...
- How are you, Jerry?

I feel great, Inez.

He's under the weather
a little bit.

- So, l...
- Bye.

I kind of gotta take care of him
for a few minutes.

I had a really great time.

Inez, I'm sorry to interrupt you,
but I think I've got it.

I've gotta talk to you, Inez.
I got a lot I need to tell you.

Thirty seconds ago, I was lost,
just in a total fog...

and then it hit me
like a bolt of lightning.

Perfect clarity. Don't slow me down.
I gotta get this out while it's fresh.

Um, this could get
a little tough to communicate.

Where's the kid?
Where's Rocky?

- Hey, Rocky.
- Yeah?

- Can you help me out?
- What do you need?

I just need you
to translate some stuff.

I can't. I'm busy.
I got too much work.

It'll take two seconds.
Just give me three minutes.

Come on. Please. I'll help you
finish the dishes later.

Okay, this is what I want to say.
This is how I see it.

Beautiful, intelligent girl
from Paraguay...

by chance happens to be workin'
at a motel in the middle of nowhere.

Lost and confused.
Totally lost.

Incredibly unhappy person...

accidentally wanders in
off the highway...

and they meet
and they fall in love...

and it's perfect.

I mean, it is perfect.

And I can only hope...

that she feels a tenth
of the way that I feel.

I mean, Inez, when we had sex
this afternoon, it was...

It was fun, you know?

So... Come on, Rocky.

Okay, so to make
a long story short...

when we leave here tomorrow,
I want you to come with us.

And I want us, no matter what...

Where are you going?

- What?
- Where are you going?

Where are we going?

What do you want me to say?
You want me to live with you and Jerry?

- I can't go.
- Why not?


- I just told you why not.
- That's no reason, Inez.

I'm trying to explain to you
why I want you to come with us.

Look. Wait, wait.

We'll stay here, all right?
I don't understand it, but...

I'm just gonna follow
my instincts on this one.

You're like paper.
You know, you're trash.

Like trash?

You know, you're
like paper flying by.

It doesn't sound
that bad in Spanish.

Well, what, Rocky?

She... She doesn't
want you to stay.

She doesn't?

You have to understand.
She's an organized person.

- She can't just leave.
- She didn't say that, did she, Rocky?

No, but I'm just telling you,
she's a serious person.

Please, just do the...

Excuse me.

Mi amigo Anthony asked me
to give you this envelope.

There you go. We certainly
enjoyed our stay here.

We'd recommend this motel
to any of our friends that might...

Take care of Anthony.

- Is okay?
- Yeah, I feel a lot better.

So long.


- Tell Anthony I love him.
- Do what?

Tell Anthony I love him.

All right, man. Okay.

Shit, man.
What a lemon!

I don't know, man.
One minute it's running like a top...

and the next minute it's broken down
on the side of the road.

I can't fix a car like this.
I don't have the tools to do it, man!

Even if I did, I can't promise you
I'd know how to fix a car like that!

You see the house over here?

Let's walk over to it.
We'll use the phone.

We need to go home, okay?

Whoa, no.
Let's go to plan B.

We'll hitchhike to the next town...
Look, we hitchhike...

Look, it's over, okay?
We're broke.

We're gonna go home.

First of all, what is broke to you?

You're so spoiled. Having only
a few hundred dollars is not broke.

We're okay.
This is a setback. We hitchhike...

What is this?

All right. $16.

So, where's the rest of the money?

You gave it to Inez.

No, I never gave Inez anything.

In the envelope.

Pointless act! You don't give
a $500 tip to the housekeeper!

That's inappropriate!
That's inexcusable!

That, I don't forgive!
What were you thinking?

- Don't call her the housekeeper.
- That's what she is.

Don't threaten me. That's what she is.
She is a housekeeper.

- People are housekeepers.
- You better watch it.

You don't know what you're talking about
right now.

Her name's Inez.

And my name's Dignan, man.
So what?

She didn't love you, man.

Now where are you going?

Come on. Let's go.

Why did you do it, man?

I don't really think you know
what I was going through back there...

Please don't lay that on me now, man...

because I'm not interested
in hearing any of that.

Did it ever occur to you that I might
enjoy a great stay...

at some mental hospital
out in the middle of nowhere...

going running at night, getting a tan
with a bunch of beautiful girls?

Did you ever think about that?

What do you think Dignan was doing
that whole time you were out there?

I told you Dignan got fired...
out on his ass.

But you never thought about that,
did you?

In the end it's easier to think about
yourself than to think about Dignan.

Dignan, come on.

I thought I was supposed to be the one
that was a little crazy, you know?

Dignan, come on.

"Dear Grace, I en joyed your lefter.

"Dear Grace, I en joyed your lefter.

I agree Camp Douglas isn't all
it's cracked up to be.

It never was.

But if you're feeling lonely
or homesick even...

I recommend thaf, one, you call me.
I'm staying af Bob Mapplethorpe's...

and, two,
fhat you keep extremely busy.

- lf's working for me.
- Come here, Hector.

I've got a whole, new program.

Bob and I get up at 5:30 every morning
fo run our paper route.

I've gof three jobs.

The money isn't much, and Bob
isn't suited for this kind of work.

But we keep each other company...

and we both feel much better about
ourselves now thaf we're working hard.

- Glad you enjoyed it. You all come back.
- Thanks, Mr. Fine.

Jack, I've been working.
I made $75 in tips last night.

Bob's brother, Future Man, has
accumulated some exfensive legal debts.

But we're gradually helping him
fo pay those off.

Can I at least have three bucks for gas?

I'm also coaching a Little League
soccer team called the Hurricanes.

They're mostly beginners,
but they've got a lof of spirit...

and fhey don't let defeat get them down.

They remind me of Dignan in that way.

Say what you will abouf him,
he's no cynic and he's no quitter.

I'm usually so exhausted now
at the end of the day...

so thaf I don't have time
fo think abouf blown opportunities...

or wasted time.

I do have one bif of advice
for you though, Grace.

Take the fime in school
fo learn a foreign language.

I myself never did,
and I feel I paid a price for it.

Well, so long, Grace.

I miss you very much.
Don'f forgef to write me back.


Okay, there he goes.

It's Dignan. Wait up!

Where are you going?

I'm just walking Hector.

How long you been back?

A while.

So how's it goin'?

It's goin' pretty good.

I wish that some of the stuff
that was said...

hadn't been said out there by me...


I'm sorry...


Do you wanna shake hands?

What's this you got on, man?

It's a jumpsuit.

You like it?
I ordered a dozen of them.

Anthony, I'd like to introduce you
to Applejack.

- Applejack, this is Anthony.
- Anthony Adams.

Mr. Henry! It's Dignan!

Got some visitors.

- What time did he say he'd be here?
- Right now.

Did you guys feel that?
I just felt something...

Hey! Jesus Christ!

How's the weather down there?

- Come on in.
- Well, it's locked.

- No, no. Come on, son.
- Okay.

I just tried it,
but I'll try it again.

Yes, it is!

He poured more water on me.

- Dignan, good to see you.
- Hi, Mr. Henry.

Applejack, good to...

And who are you?

- That's Anthony...
- This is no good, bringing him here.

What the shit, man?
What are you thinking?

Are you out of your fuckin' mind?

How are you?

This is my business manager, Rowboat.

Get you a little wet, did I, son?
Come on in, boys.

There you go.

That's it.
Give it a little topspin.

A little more!

Good. He listens.

- This kid in?
- I don't know. Are you in?

- You don't understand.
- Let me tell you about this job.

- You don't understand.
- Let me tell you about this job.

I got this program
and I'm trying to stick to it, okay?

Just hear me out.

It's called Hinckley Cold Storage.
Here are a few of the key ingredients:

dynamite, pole vaulting,
laughing gas, choppers...

Can you see how incredible
this is going to be? Come on!

I can't do it.

I know, but if he doesn't have
the enthusiasm, then who needs him?

Oh, you said a mouthful.

If you want, I could speak to him.

Would you, Mr. Henry?
That'd be great.

- Sugar cone?
- You bet.

- Do you want anything, Anthony?
- No, thanks.


You know...

you're breaking his heart,
you know that, don't you?

What do you mean?

Kid that worked
on one of my garden crews...

I mean, nice fella,
but he didn't perform.

So I had to fire him.

Then six months later...

I get a call from a gas station...

about 200 miles
outside of Victoria there.

I said, "What the hell
are you doing out there?"

But there's something in his voice.

You know what I'm saying?

I felt for him.
I mean, poor guy.

Here he is, he thought he had a team.

Turns out to be a man alone.

And that's tough, man.
Real tough.

Here you go.

- Had any time to think?
- Yeah, I've done a lot of thinking.

We're still holding
your position open for you.

Yeah, I wish you wouldn't do that.

- Come on. Go for a ride.
- It's too small for the both of us.

No it isn't. Jump on.
I'll give you a pump.

- Where'd you get this?
- I got it from a fr...

What are you wearing?

It's a jumpsuit.

- Clay, look at this guy.
- He looks like a rodeo clown.

He looks like a little banana.
Where are you from anyway, man?

I'm from around here.

- He used to mow our lawn.
- No shit?

He was great... clipping the hedges,
sweeping up, mowing the lawn.

What was the name
of your little lawn mowing company?

The Lawn Wranglers.

Let's go.

Keep up the mowing, kemo sabe.

It was landscaping, not just mowing.

Man, don't listen to that guy.

I don't know.
Sometimes l...

I'm not always as confident as I look.

- Did you see what he had on?
- Yeah.

It was pretty cool.

All right.

Wait a second.


Goddamn it. I'm in.

- What?
- I'm in.

I knew you'd be back.

Three conditions.

One: you mastermind the plan.

Two: Bob's on the team.

Let's hear the third one.

You gotta get me one of these jumpsuits.

- You like these?
- Yeah!

Done. Deal. All right.

- You're doing the right thing.
- Yeah, I know I am.

All right. I'll see you later on.

- Need any help?
- No, I think I got it.

Ha-ha! Got the eye.

Got the eye again.

Well, move back a little bit!

Hi, guys.
Welcome back.

- He's back, Mr. Henry.
- Where's Bob? The rich kid?

- Hey, what do you say?
- How's it goin'?

Dignan! What do you say?
Come on in.

- Oh, nothing much.
- What are you guys drinking?

- Water for me, please.
- I'll have a Tom Collins, please.

Tom Collins. Okay.

I want you to know it was really too bad
about what happened out there.

- I'm glad to see you.
- Yeah, it was unfortunate.

- Let's not even talk about it.
- It was stupid.

It was real stupid.
It was extremely stupid.

I want you to know
I don't expect an apology.

Can you believe this guy?
"I don't expect an apology."

- Let's not get into this.
- Of course you don't wanna get into it.

You would have let my brother
rot in fucking jail!

- You said 48 hours!
- I never agreed to that.

- That's a lie!
- Bullshit!

- Backyard! Right now! Let's go!
- Just wait here.

- Come on, Bob.
- Backyard? This is my house, asshole!

- Get out here!
- Wait a second!

I know you're feeling angry
and I think the thing to do is...

- We're all here. Let's talk.
- Wait a second!

Bob is a big boy.
Now, we are in the real world.

We don't settle problems with hugs. We
settle them with bare-knuckle tactics.

Let's talk about that.

- Fine!
- Bob, stay there!

- In my own house?
- Stop it!

Just stop!

- You got me with a left hook.
- Okay, no more fighting.

Bob, come here.

I'm gonna hug him.

What are we doing out here?
What happened?


- You went crazy.
- I know. I just... I don't know.

- Come here.
- I was looking forward to seeing you.

Bob, we'd like to have you on the team,
if you'II have us.

Roberto, let me get something straight.

- You don't play any tennis.
- No.

- And you don't play any golf.
- No.

So why do you belong to a country club?

You got me.

You're a piece of work.

- The food is very good.
- Well, yeah. You just sign.

My work is the finger work.

Usually my work is...

Little sound and good touch.

- How you doin', Bob?
- Hey, Jackson.

When will your folks
be back in town?

That's hard to say.
Last I heard they were in Singapore.

Your brother was up here the other day.
He said you ran away from home.

- What?
- You ran away from home.

Oh, shit.

- I'll see you.
- Hi, guys. Bob, fancy seeing you here.

The rest of the gang?

- Hi, John Mapplethorpe.
- Kumar.

Nice to meet you.

Applejack, nice to meet you.

- John, great pleasure to meet you.
- And your name is?

Jackson said you told him
I ran away from home.

I might have mentioned it.

I'm 26 years old.
I didn't run away from home.

Oh, that's right.
You're on that top secret mission.

I'm sorry. I forgot I wasn't
supposed to say anything.

I'd appreciate it if you didn't
run around telling lies about me.

I'm sorry. I apologize.

I know you have a reputation to uphold.

It won't happen again.

- Jonathan.
- Yeah?

You know, Jonathan...

the world needs dreamers.

- Excuse me?
- No, I don't think so.

You know, one day I believe
that you're gonna wake up...

and realize you no longer
have a brother...

and you no longer have any friends,
and on that day...

I'm gonna be standing front and center
just laughing my fuckin' head off.


I'm just messin' around with my brother.

- Are we okay here?
- Okay.

I hope this doesn't offend you, Bob...

but your brother's a cocksucker.

- I know.
- Did I offend you?

- That didn't offend me.
- Good.

Well, welcome
I've gof a beautiful house

Hispanic male, nonsmoker,
enters white van, southwest door.

- Mark that down.
- I did.

There you go.
Drive away, just like you always do.

We got it, man. We know it backwards,
and we know it forewords...

because we've done the legwork,
and we've done the research.

And now it pays off tomorrow.

- Just gotta follow through.
- What are you working on?

Let me show you this.

Wow, that's one of your little drawings.

There he goes... pole vaults over the
thing. There he goes, and there he is.

I love the drawings. I love it.
You're creative.

Tell me something.

What do you think of Inez?

- As a person?
- Yeah, as a girl.

I liked her.

I thought she was a good person.
She was friendly.

She was attractive. I didn't get
to know her as well as you did.

That's the only reason
I even bother to hesitate.

That kid Rocky struck me
as kind of a weirdo.

What? Rocky?

- I mean, he said he loved you.
- What?

Yeah, he said he loved you.

- Was he...
- I mean, that just seemed strange.

Was he translating?

Was he translating for me
when he said he loved you?

He said he loved you.

He wasn't translating.
That's how I understood him.

He was talking in English.
I was like, "What? Okay. l..."

Whoa! Anthony, where are you going?

He's just a mixed-up kid!
Anthony, come on!

You're blowing our cover.
Maybe I didn't understand him.

I'm calling for a motel.
I don't know the area code.

I just know the name of the motel.

- Listen, can I borrow him a minute?
- All right. Sure.

I was thinking.

It might give you a feeling of security
if I went in there with you tomorrow.

You know, just for backup.

- Huh, Chicky?
- Oh, that's right.

Well, I mean, it couldn't hurt,
could it?

No, it couldn't hurt, but...

You gotta weigh the pros and cons.
You're the one who hipped me to that.

Shoot, well, what are the cons?

Cons... if you go in there tomorrow...

then it's just another score
by Abe Henry.

That's true.

Can I speak to Inez, please?

She's one of the housekeepers.
She worked there for a while.

Please don't do this to me, ma'am.

Look, I'll... Let me see what I can do.

Well, it's your decision.

If it's okay with you...

it would mean a lot to me...

if you'd let me try this one alone.

Damn. I'II tell you something, kid.

You've got the guts of a damn lion.


Carmen, how's it goin'?

Yeah, I'm looking for Inez.
Have you seen her today? Is she in?

She's not here.

Hey, man. How's it goin'?


I'm looking for Inez.
She's one of the housekeepers.

- She is?
- Yeah, she is. Hold on.

- It's for you. Telephone.
- Thank you.

She recognizes my voice!

No, I'm at a party.

God, you sound terrific.
How are you?

That's great!

No, I'm great,
especially now that I got you.

I've been looking all over for you.
I talked to every person at the hotel.

When am I going to see you?

Gosh, your English is really improving.

- It sounds... You're fluent now, Inez!
- Thank you.

So the word on the street...

Or should I say...

rumor has if thaf, well...

I heard you love me.

Yes, I do.


God, Inez!

Bird Dog to Scarecrow.

- Come in.
- Go ahead, Bird Dog.

I got a visual read on you.
You're all clear.

Outstanding, Bird Dog.
Outstanding. Stand by.

Let's go!

Kumar, are you ready?

- Yes.
- Let's get lucky!

Everybody move! Let's go!
Keep up the intensity!

Come on!


- Come in, Jackknife.
- Is everything all right up there, man?

Affirmative. We're approaching
the elevator right now on my left.

- Stand by. Come in, Bird Dog.
- Copy.

- Move you your second position. Fast!
- I'm moving.

You guys take the elevator.
I'm gonna secure the stairway.

- Kumar, are you okay?
- Yeah.

I'm heading up the stairway. Everything
looks good. I just hit my knee!

Testing! Kumar!

What? I'm okay.

Stop! Get it down! Go!

Let's go. Go.
Where are you goin'? Come here.

Rendezvous at the checkpoint
in six minutes.


- Who's that man?
- What do you mean?

That's Applejack! Come on!

- Where we are going?
- Right down the corridor here.

- Are you nervous?
- Yes, I am nervous.

There it is. Oh, boy.

That's perfect.

No problem.

Hey, Jackknife, come in.

- Yeah.
- You know somethin'?


I really don't wanna do this robbery.

- You know?
- Man, neither do I.

- Do you wanf me to come up there?
- Keep this line clear at all times.

Come on. Any activity, Bird Dog?

Negatory. We're all clear.

Good. lf's supposed to be.

I got a pretfy spectacular view
from up here.

I can see the whole city from the east
side all fhe way to the west side.

Anthony, the elevator's moving.

- Who's on the elevator?
- I don't know.

Well, check it!
It's moving right now!

Bob, what are you doing?

- My walkie-talkie busted.
- Give it to me!

- Did you drop it? Come on!
- No, I didn't drop it!

You're supposed to be
on the loading dock!

You go down there.
I'm by myself down there!

- Move it!
- What's going on?

It was Bob.
He dropped his walkie-talkie.

Who's watching the door?
Get back in position, assholes!

Applejack, talk to me.
What's going on?

Somebody's coming out of there.

- Look!
- Jesus Christ!

Hold it right there, guys!

- Freeze!
- Come this way.

Come here! Up against this wall!
Come here!

Up against this wall! Move!

- Move!
- Right here!

- Just look at the ceiling.
- Up against the wall!

- What are you doing here?
- We work here!

- You're always at lunch now!
- Not always.

Yes, always!
Okay, let me think.


Hold on! Jesus!

- What the hell are you doing here?
- My walkie-talkie broke, man.

- Two minutes.
- Good.

- Put on your masks!
- They've already seen our faces, Dignan!

Put on your masks!

Kumar, we've got problems.
What are you doing sitting down?

- I tried. I could not get it.
- You can't get it?

- No, I could not do it.
- Come on, man!

Bob, will you please put the mask on.

- Or turn away.
- I can't get it on!

Dignan, what's goin' on?

- Where's Kumar?
- Forget it, then. Just forget it!

You can't do it, because you
never knew how in the first place!

You are totally lost out here!

- What are you guys doin' here?
- Hold it!

- Who are these guys?
- Jesus!

- Jesus, Bob! What the hell...?
- Put it down, big guy!

- What is your problem?
- I didn't do anything!

- Are you okay?
- Did you shoot him?

He must be having a heart attack
or something!

Drop your smoke.
Let's go!

Come on!

Check his pulse!

- Check his pulse!
- Get to the elevator!

- I can't see.
- A little more!

I can't believe this!

- I didn't shoot him.
- He's got a bum ticker, man!

Hang in there, man.
Hang in there.

Prop him up. Come on.
Get him up there.

- Get up. Come on, man.
- He don't look good.

- What is this?
- Stay calm. Stay where you are.

- Who tripped the alarm, man?
- It's the fire alarm!

- Who tripped the fire alarm?
- It's because of all this fuckin' smoke!

Where's Kumar?

- We're going down. Let's go!
- Man, I blew it.

- I blew it, man.
- What were you doing in the freezer?

I don't know.
I lose my touch, man.

Did you ever have a touch to lose, man?

What were you doing in there?

Let's go!

- Wait for Kumar.
- Come on, Kumar!

Hurry up, Kumar!

- Open your door.
- I can't. It's locked.

- Open that door!
- Move!

- The elevator broke.
- What?

- Where's Applejack?
- He's stuck on the second floor!

- Between floors up there.
- Did he give you the keys?

- Applejack drove.
- What happened?

- I don't know.
- Run!


- What the hell happened to the plan?
- I don't know. Come on.

- I'll meet you at Bob's. Go!
- What?

- I gotta get Applejack.
- No, you're not.

- Yeah, I am.
- No!

- I gotta fly solo on this, baby.
- Okay, Dignan...

- I don't have time to argue now!
- I don't have time either!

Now, you get back to Bob's!
Just go!

Who is in charge here?

You are, you dumb son of a bitch!
Now, please leave!

Give me this one.

You gotta give me this one.

Dignan, you know what's gonna happen
if you go back there.

No, I don't.

They'll never catch me, man...

'cause I'm fuckin' innocent.

Get in here.
Concentrate on your breathing.

You gotta get oxygen to your heart.

I haven't got the keys.
Unlock the door!

Freeze! Don't move!

- Put your hands on the car!
- Put your hands up! Now!

Drop the gun!

- Freeze!
- Drop it!

Drop the gun!

Drop the gun!

Bob, there he is.

One month down, twenty-three to go.

Anyway, I said to the D. A:

"That cop who hit me
must have given me C.R.S. disease."

- What's that?
- That's just what the D.A. asked.

C.R.S. is a disease
where you can't remember shit.

- Like amnesia.
- Right.

C.R.S. "Can't remember shit." C.R.S.

- Tell Mr. Henry I said that.
- Okay.

So is Mr. Henry gonna come by
and see me or what?

I don't think so.

He actually robbed Bob's house.

- You're kidding?
- No, I'm not.

I can't believe that.

I almost robbed that place myself.

You think Applejack knew?

We haven't heard from Applejack
since he got out of the hospital.

His case got dismissed.

- What? Why?
- We're not sure.

We think Mr. Henry had something
to do with it.

Well, they take the health problems
into account.

- So what all did he get?
- Pretty much everything.

- I bet he got that grand piano.
- He got everything.

I bet that grand piano's
worth ten grand.

I'm sorry, Bob.

Yeah, but you know,
in a strange way...

it's brought me and Future Man
closer together.

I mean, we went out
to look for a new piano the other day...

and he looks at me and says:
"Bob, just because you're a fuck-up...

doesn't mean you're not my brother."

That kind of touched me.

He doesn't normally open up like that.

- Hey, I talked to Inez last night.
- Really?

Gonna be bringing you a care package
when she comes up here.

- No shit?
- Yeah.

She liked me.
Oh, yeah. Hang on to that one.

You want anything special?


- I got something for you guys.
- Oh, yeah?

Belt buckles that I made.

There's one for you and one for you.

I made a couple more
that I was gonna give...

to, you know, Applejack,
Kumar or Mr. Henry.

But... I don't know.
Maybe give it to Inez.

I don't care. Give it to those guys.

I don't have any hard feelings.

Here's a little piece.

That's for the tip.

- Thanks.
- We did it though, didn't we?

Yeah, we did it, all right.

Well, thank you for comin'.

It's good seein' you.

- Did you bring that grappling hook?
- Grappling hook?

I think I might have found
a way out of here.

- You're kidding!
- No, I'm not.

- How?
- Wait for my instructions.

When we go through the next gate, you'll
have 30 seconds to take out the guard.

- What?
- 30 seconds!

Have the car running
at the northwest checkpoint.

- Bob and I will scale the barricade.
- Hold on!

And Bob, remember, shield me from
the bullets! They won't shoot civilians!

- Are you ready?
- Hold on!

Let's go! Now!

Isn't it funny how you used to be
in the nuthouse and now I'm in jail?

Special thanks to SergeiK.