Voila! Finally, the Crank 2: High Voltage script is here for all you fans of the Jason Statham movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. At least you'll have some Crank 2: High Voltage quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?
And swing on back to Drew's
Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.
Crank 2: High Voltage Script
In a story so bizarre I can scarcely
believe the event I'm reporting,
and yet corroborated by at least
a dozen eyewitnesses,
a white male apparently fell from
the sky above downtown Los Angeles today,
landed in the middle of a busy
intersection, destroying one vehicle
and hospitalizing its elderly driver,
and then was removed from the scene
before emergency personnel could respond.
Without a body, the police have yet to
piece together the events of a day
that can only be described
Reports of a second body landing
in the Boyle Heights area have yet
to be confirmed and are being treated as
the bullshit they most likely are.
You big cock English.
Strong like horse.
That's not so bad.
You like nice and rough.
Pick up, Eve.
The number you have reached is not
in service at this time and...
On your knees, son.
Okay, chow mein. Who do you work for?
Fuck you, Chelios.
You found me in quite an unpleasant
mood this morning, mate.
Now... I'm gonna ask you this
question one time.
Who's gots my fucking strawberry tart?
...- J...J- J...
...Just spit the fucking name out!
Johnny fucking Vang?
Johnny fucking Vang?
Good boy. Where?
Cypress So- cial Club!
Cypress... Cypress Social Club.
Now you're sure about that, ain't ya?
Good boy. Thanks for coming.
Now you can keep that.
Hello. Doc Miles.
Yeah... Doc, it's Chev.
Jesus H... Chelios!
You've gotta be kiddin' me.
Listen, I'm deadly fuckin' serious, Doc.
These Triad motherfuckers cut out
my fuckin' heart
and put in one of those plastic
You got an artificial heart?
Do you think I'm having a fuckin' laugh?
No-No-No, but you got to admit,
it's a little out there, dude.
Yeah, you take your fuckin' time, Doc.
You don't have any time,
if you've got an artificial heart.
They're not designed to keep you
alive more than a couple days
while you're waitin' on a transplant.
And don't do anything strenuous.
Yeah, sure, Doc. No problem.
So what's my next fuckin' move?
Well, we got to get a real heart put
back in you preferably your own.
I'm on it.
Okay, you're on it.
Doc! Jesus fucking Christ!
Does-Does... Let me... Does that thing
have a a-a-a a belt battery pack?
How many bars are showing?
Shit. That's better than none, I guess.
Look, what they did you with is
an Avicor Total Artificial Heart.
It's got an internal battery that'll
pick up once the belt battery dies.
It's like a reserve tank.
Once the internal battery takes over,
you got one fuckin' hour.
The internal battery charges
its transcutaneous energy transfer system.
Two coils, there's one internal,
one external that transmit the, uh,
magnetic force across the skin
without piercing the surface.
The internal coil receives power
and sends it to the controller device.
Is this makin' any fuckin' sense to you,
It's fucking Greek, Doc.
Look, you got to keep your body
electrically charged to keep
that piece of shit pumpin'.
I'm stoked you're alive, dude.
I'll get back to you, Doc.
Yeah, well, y... Call me.
That's a nice car.
I don't suppose you know where
the Cypress Social Club is, do you?
Man, fuck that shit, puto.
Let's race, ese.
Don't you tempt me, fucker.
What I need from you is directions.
Damn, dog. You good, ese?
Tiger fuckin' Woods.
Greatest day of my fuckin' life.
You gents couldn't point me
in the direction of the
Cypress Social Club, could ya?
Well, you ain't too far.
You go down Orange for, like,
two miles and then you're there, homes.
You mind givin' me a jump?
Just juice me.
Hey, Menudo, where's the fuckin' Social Club?
Uh, donde esta La Social Club?
Buenos nachos, white boy.
This is a fucking social club?
You Johnny Vang?
Get lost, bitch.
Where's Johnny Vang?
You lookin' to get your ass killed, dog?
You ain't tappin' my ass.
There you go, cupcake.
Fuckin' no Ebola for me today, thanks.
There goes my ride!
What's that, fucking cunt-onese?
I'd rather stick my dick in a blender.
Hey, dude why you in rush?
Wait for me!
Get off me!
Get out of the fucking car!
Get your own fuckin' station wagon!
You taking this too fast with me.
I want you to take it slow.
You didn't ask name.
Shut up a minute, for fuck's sake!
Where is he?
Where's fuckin' Chelios?
You like sushi, Chinese man?
How the fuck am I supposed to know
what kind of "-ese" you is,
you slanty-eyed fuck?
Check it out. Sushi.
We can make a deal.
Hey. I need you to take your fuckin'
hands off Lemon now, man.
Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck am I?
Who the fuck are you?
Do you know this guy, Lemon?
You were dead.
I'm... uh, I'm so confused right now.
What's that ticking sound?
Yeah, what is that sound?
You're kinda weird, tick-man.
It's time for you to go!
"Randy"? Come here.
Babe, it's not...
Who the fuck is that?
Ah, some whore.
That was a mistake.
Look she's helpin' me find my heart.
Come on, let's go.
Oh, you dozy cunt.
We need his ass alive.
Let's save some bullets, dude.
I'm up for that,
when we've all had a drink.
Should I duck?
Shall I bypass the formalities?
Who do you work for and what the fuck
do they want with me?
What's a fuckin' "El who-done"?
It's a ferret.
He wants you alive...
so he can watch you die.
Oh, yeah? Why?
I don't know. Doesn't everybody?
Shut up. Oo, you lucky bastard.
Eve, let's go.
Che-Che, Che-Che-Che... Chev Cherios.
Get on the floor now!
Oh, it's on now!
Get off me, ma'am!
Why didn't you call me?
Like fuck I didn't.
Didn't you get my message?
Where have you been for the last
I thought you were dead.
I fell a mile out of a helicopter.
It's a long story.
No way! You know what?
That's totally possible.
I saw this video on YouTube
where this guy's parachute doesn't open
and he falls like fourteen thousand feet
and he lives.
Yes baby, I know it's possible
because I fuckin' did it!
Since when were you on the Internet?
You know, a lot of things have
changed since you died.
I didn't fuckin' die.
Well, that's besides the point,
Where are we going, Chev?
I don't know.
I need to find that slant from the club,
the one with the red cooler.
Are you talking about Johnny Vang?
Do you know Johnny Vang?
I know his ass.
He's got that box with him all the time.
That box. I need it.
I can bet on my grandma's coochie he's
at the horse track.
Dude, you gonna put Johnny Vang on ice?
That's so fuckin' sexy.
Didn't they cuff you?
Damn it. Do me.
I'll do you.
I got to get a hold...
I've got to call Doc.
I need a cell phone.
Why didn't you just say it?
I have a cell phone.
You got a cell phone.
I got you.
You've got to work for the things that...
I lost the belt battery, Doc.
How long ago?
Over an hour.
Jesus Christ, that's not fuckin'
You should be dea... Fuck, never mind.
Look... it's a wireless system,
so any kind of low-level electrical
shock to your skin should juice it.
At least temporarily.
Hey, Chev I'm a certified heart surgeon.
Well, I... I was.
I lost my license after I fucked up
my ex-wife's vaginal rejuvenation
procedure in our basement.
That's irrelevant right now.
The point is if you can get
hold of your heart,
I'm reasonably sure I can
put it back in for you.
I'll be in touch when I find that
Chinese cocksucker that's got me pump.
That you even had to choose
between Phyllis and me.
Sharon, I just shut down, okay?
I couldn't think.
I couldn't feel.
Hey, Chocolate would you get off your
fat ass and get dressed?
Do you have any idea... how silly
Is Doc Miles gonna have to choke a bitch?
Do you know that I was waiting for
those results, too?
I needed to put things in perspective.
Oh, you needed? I see, you needed.
I think I know who we're dealing with.
That's how you do things now.
"Hell, no, we won't blow!"
For fuck's sake move!
What the fuck!
You're gonna pay me by the inch, bitch!
You make a living!
We want to make a living!
You carry a weapon!
We carry weapons... in our pants.
Sick and tired of this!
Pay me my fuckin' wages, mother fuckers!
Droppin' loads on all of
your silly wages!
They need their money.
What, do you want me to fuck this car?
What, do you want me to fuck this car?
Suck my fuckin' tits!
Get off the car.
I'm gonna bang that bitch in the back!
We're just sick and tired of this!
Just because it's porn
doesn't mean we all
want to do it! We like to
get paid for it!
This is a weird scene.
We've got pissed-off beaver everywhere.
We're on pursuit.
I'm just makin' sure. Whatever.
Dude, he's totally doing
what he's supposed to.
Well, he's got to know who's in charge.
He's gonna eat somebody's baby
and you're gonna be in...
No, dude, chill.
Uh, you're gonna get sued.
He's totally doing what he's supposed.
to be doing. Come on.
Whatever. I wanted a cat.
See? Way better than a cat, man.
Who's this fuckin' asshole?
You pair of sausage-Nigels.
How do you sleep at night?
Who is this guy?
I'm from PETA.
This is animal cruelty, you fuckers.
Hey, give that back, you liberal freak.
Fuckin' shame on you two.
That's two hundred and fifty dollars.
I tell you.
You pair of cunts.
Press the fucking button.
Well, take it back.
Not so bad.
Mom would be so proud.
Sorry about that.
Give me that thing.
Yeah, there you go. Go on.
Ruff, ruff, ruff ruff, ruff ruff!
If you don't press that fuckin' button,
you're goin' in the pond.
I'm pressing it. Press it!
Come on, what's the matter?
Fuckin' wake up!
Make him press the button you...
Give him the fuckin'...
What are you, fuckin' useless?
Hey! No problem.
Stop right there!
Oh. See, that's what I told you.
My fuckin' nuts!
Get him off!
It's all right!
Will our insurance cover that?
Freeze! Get down! Get down!
Turn around! Get down!
What the fuck is that around your neck?
Get down on the ground!
Show me your...
Are you fuckin' kidding me?
Both of you down on the ground now!
Get down! Get down!
Get off that fuckin' moped!
Kaylo, I thought you were dead.
My name's Venus.
I'm from Hollywood.
Kaylo was my brother.
Hey, what the fuck
did you hit me for, anyway?
I have a condition.
FBT, Full Body Tourette's.
I can't control myself.
What the fuck?
Hey, listen, I'm sorry about your brother,
but I need to get to the
Hollywood Park racetrack.
And I mean right the fuck now.
What's the matter,
are you hurlin' or something?
Is that where they're at?
The ill suckers that killed my brother.
You're Chev "The Cheese" Chelios, right?
The sickest, most wickedest motherfucker
that ever vaporized a motherfucker
in cold blood, right?
Yeah. That's me.
Yeah. So we're gonna get those suckers...
Get a grip on yourself.
It's already done.
I already took care of
the ones that did Kaylo.
But... All of them?
All of them.
D-E-A-D. Brown bread.
Right Said Fred?
Well, don't look so gloomy, Elvis.
I can assure you they did
not die pleasantly.
No... you don't understand.
It's a matter of honor.
It should have been me to
avenge my brother's death.
Well... so long, Chelios.
My brain hurts.
There is one I never got to on account
of I could never find him.
The one that calls himself "The Ferret."
You know him?
No. It means "The Ferret" in Spanish.
Right. Yeah, I knew that.
Listen, you want to find the dude that
made your brother dead, you find him.
That you, Chelios?
I'm runnin' on empty, Doc.
Same here, buddy.
I think I need to stick
my dick in a socket.
I don't recommend that.
Yeah. Skin-on-skin contact
creates static electricity.
You're fuckin' kidding me, right?
Dude... the friction of two like objects
causes a transfer of electrons.
Science one-oh-one, Chevy.
You probably ditched that class. I did.
Find someone to rub against.
It's gonna help.
Well, it's not gonna hurt.
That's a great horse, mate.
What the fuck, man?
What the fuck?
What are you doin'?
Mate, that was all you.
Hey there, mister!
Somebody stop him! Stop him!
Look, my horse! My horse!
Get out of there!
Hey, oink-oink, chill out.
He's just had too many drinks.
I got him. Okay? Go about your business.
All right, then.
Honey, let's go.
Oh, I love you, too.
Honey, come on, over here.
Are you okay?
Is it the Chinese poison?
Doc said, friction.
I'll give you friction.
Babe, what are you doin'?
Yeah. I know how this game works.
Oh, yes, work it, baby.
Keep goin', doll.
Rub it, baby.
Yeah rub it!
Oh, my God.
Fuck, it's workin', Eve!
Fuckin' do it, babe! Come on!
Doc Miles, you motherfucker!
You fuckin' nailed it, Doc!
You fuckin' got it, Doctor!
Oh, my God.
Give the kitty some cream, baby.
Give the kitty some more cream.
That's it! Who's your horse!
This is your lucky day.
I fuckin' love you!
I love you so much!
The race is over!
Door number six!
Dude I'm coming!
You're fucking useless.
Well, you ain't no Ralph Macchio
Did I drop some change
or did I hear a chink?
Fuck you, man!
Yeah, fuck me?
Give me that fuckin' box!
Come here, cunt!
Fuck you, Chelios!
Number six, Fire Carrier
Number eight, Flying Bearcat.
Don motherfucking Kim.
Looks like you pulled my lily-white ass
out of the hot grease again.
Please... don't thank me.
I don't think I shall.
Now, I'm not sure if you're aware of this,
Jeeves, but your slant-eyed associates
have taken something of
extreme value to me.
And I intend to get it back.
You know what you are, Chev Chelios?
You... are a shit magnet.
Your friend has the gay condition.
And now where were we?
You were about to tell me exactly
who's got what I need and why.
You may have heard of the name...
Only in dirty limericks.
The patriarch of our organization
said to be one hundred years old,
considered to be more god than man
by the Triad gangs.
Well, several months ago, word had spread
out that Poon Dong had taken gravely ill
and without a heart transplant,
only had few days left to live.
Of course, that was unacceptable.
Many a Triad would have given their
hearts from their own breasts to save
the life of Poon Dong. But not me.
Fuck that. But many.
Then word spread out that there was a man
who had a heart so powerful
that he was capable of surviving
even our most deadliest of poisons.
Yeah, the Chinese shit.
It was you, Chev Chelios.
It was your heart that Poon Dong
chose to replace his own.
One more question. Who the fuck is
El Huron, The Ferret?
And how is he involved with all this?
Ah. Let's just say our organizations have
a history of, uh, conflicting interests.
Well, that's mighty white of you
to help me out like this Donald.
Now, if you don't mind...
Uh who said I was helping you out?
My reward for returning you to
Poon Dong will be great.
So, this is how it is?
This is how it is.
Chicken and broccoli.
Dude... are you all right?
Aye, never better.
Fish Halman here, bringing you breaking,
on-the-scenes coverage of
an explosion of mayhem,
murder and lewd behavior that has swept
the Long Beach area this morning.
Our viewers may remember
a similar series of incidents
which took place some three months back
involving this unidentified man.
Police are now confirming that today's
lurid events are the work of
that very same psychotic deviant.
Ted Garcia's standing by
in Hollywood Park with a live report.
Take it away, Ted.
I'm standing here with a
group of people... families,
seniors and degenerate gamblers...
that are shocked and traumatized
by what they've witnessed here today
when what started as a sunny,
southern California afternoon
at the races turned,
without warning, into a public,
open air porno.
Did you say "porno," Ted?
Straight up, Fish.
I'd like you to meet...
...Glenda Lansing of Hawaiian Gardens.
Glenda says she had an all-too
with the suspect just moments before
the shocking incident occurred.
That bastard had his filthy
hands all over me.
Could you describe exactly what happened?
I never saw a bastard wanted it so bad.
He put his filthy hands on
every part of me.
Okay, that's a little too much
information for this broadcast, Glenda.
Can you describe the man
that assaulted you?
He looked like that fella
from the movies.
You know, the trainspotted fella?
Built like a-a brick shithouse.
All right, ma'am, you know that kind of
language is not gonna fly on TV.
Well, that son of a bitch.
He treated me like his hot little whore.
Explain to me again how you let
this motherfucker get away.
He just uh went buck wild
and killed everybody.
But not you.
Just got lucky, EI.
The three of us work the Puerto way!
You know the drill, bitch.
Now the other one.
You bought yourself another chance.
I don't think you'll fuck
it up next time.
Now... go get yourself a Band-Aid...
and go get me fucking Chelios, cabron!
That's the last time.
The last time that son of
a bitch leaves me
with my ass in the wind in front of
eight thousand people!
Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey! It's me.
What the hell are you doing here?
Look, it's about the dude.
What about him?
He's on every channel.
The guy's a fuckin' psycho killer, baby!
Every cop in the city's lookin' for him.
Not to mention the fuckin' beaners
and the fuckin' Orientals.
So the heat's on the street and that
dude's playin' for keeps, baby.
I have no idea what the hell
you just said.
Look, Lemon-Lemon-Lemon, look.
I know we've all been down our dark
roads in the past, okay, babe?
I need my hair did, my nails did,
you ain't gave me no money.
Where's you been at, Randy?
If I ever catch you with another bitch...
Well, you do got a big-ass dick
for a white boy.
The point is... you're my lady now.
And I don't think it's really safe
for you to be out there with
that-that sick fucker running
wild right now.
You can say that again.
Look, look-Iook-Iook, hey-hey,
listen to me.
Listen to me.
Here's what I think we should do.
I say we go to the fuzz.
We tell 'em everything we know.
We come clean.
Yeah, the fuzz, all right?
I mean, I'd kill this guy myself,
but I got two strikes against me.
Let go of me.
All right, I'm tryin' to be cool to you,
but I will drop the hammer.
You want me to drop the hammer, baby?
I'm in no mood today, Randy!
Now spread it! Come on, let's go.
Against the car.
Don't leave no skid marks, nigga!
Ride that shit, Big Betsy.
Throw your arm up, son, like...
Eight seconds, nigger. Yeah!
Oh, my God.
Venus! What is up, my man?
Where you been, man?
I ain't seen your ass since...
Hey, by the way, man,
we was all of us broken up about
what happened to your brother, man.
Orlando, I need your help.
Venus, come on.
You know you my nigger, you can't
get no bigger. L.A. underground,
we're like a family, man. You...
That's it, baby.
We be a-be a freak-ass family,
but we be family, all right?
We look out for our own. What you need?
I'm looking for a man called The Ferret.
Hey. Oh. Oh, great.
We gotta keep him hydrated.
Step on it! Fuck!
Hold it in-Hold it in!
This is an ambulance you fuckhead!
Hey, we got to drain those organs!
Hold it in!
Jesus! What the fuck are you doin'?
This is an ambulance!
That's right, motherfucker.
I'm aware of that.
'Cause I'm in need of emergency services.
Yeah, uh we have got a guy in the back
of the fuckin' ambulance!
Get him out of here, man!
That's one of Don Kim's blokes.
This man is in critical condition!
Get the fuck out of here!
Yes, I'm aware of that.
I'm the fucker that put him there.
Okay. He's got a gun!
According to my physician...
I'm in need of an external
lithium battery belt...
for an Avicor Total Artificial Heart.
Might you have such a thing?
We're gonna lose him, Brock.
Uh, please, look, this guy's
Don't worry about him.
He's not gonna make it.
Now, about my battery...
Yeah, the, uh-the, uh, you said the
Avicor T.A.H. Yeah, we got it, but why?
He's... fucking dead, man!
Do you mind?
You ready for this shit?
Do it then.
Turn the fuckin' thing on.
Feels like, uh... crack.
Yeah... but better.
You know, those things aren't designed
for strenuous activity.
Tell me about it.
Stop the fucking ambulance!
No, dude, you got to go to the hospital.
Bing fucking Crosby.
Raise your buttocks upward by first
walking up the board slightly...
Come on, down that doggie.
...then straightening your legs.
Feel that great...
Down, dog... Hello.
Doc, I'm close.
So am I. Chev can this wait a second?
I think I've found that motherfucker
that's got my organ.
I think I got the skinny on that Triad
geezer from my girls on the streets, Chev.
Old news, Doc.
I'll get back to you
when I have the tart.
It's completely normal to be freaked out
when someone has a gun at your head.
I would've shit myself.
I still have nightmares.
Everybody has nightmares.
The point is by coming here
and talking with me
you made a choice to confront
your issues and lick 'em.
I can't even leave my fucking apartment.
I c-l... Every time I go up to... leave
the door, l-I see the guy with the gun.
I'm having a really bad day.
Tell me you've got epinephrine
on this fuckin' cart.
Think about it like this, Ankleson.
Today is the first day of the
rest of your life.
You got to go out and enjoy it.
Knock back a couple of beers...
hit a titty bar.
Uh... excuse me?
Have. some smelly snatch rubbed
in your face.
You got to get out there, man.
Yeah. I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna go out there and
tackle the world.
No, don't tackle the world.
Tackle a fuckin' whore.
Get your dick wet. Yeah.
Dip your wick into life a little bit.
Have some fun.
I'm gonna go out there and I'm gonna
floss my teeth with some pubes.
Oh... now you're on it.
Oh, my pleasure.
No, no, no, the pleasure's all mine.
I'm done with fear. My life begins today.
Maybe we better call nine-one-one.
Where's my box?
Five more like that... and your brains
will be strawberry jelly.
You can't look in that box!
The key and the fuckin' combo.
This isn't my fuckin' pumper!
What the... What is that? What kind of
sick freak carries
something like this around in a box?
I am shocked to my fucking core.
You've got some deep problems,
What the fuck is that?
That one I sort of know and it's fuckin'
got to come back and fuckin' r-run it...
What the fuck is this?
What the fuck is tha...
When you hung up on me, I was trying to
fuckin' tell you something.
Your heart was transplanted three weeks
ago into that Shaolin motherfucker.
Fucking great. Now what?
I'm on it.
Poon Dong is still in L.A.
And if I'm right he's got what you
need in pristine working
condition beating inside his chest.
Where do I find him?
Don't worry about it.
I got people on the street.
Good luck with that, Doc.
I'll try it my way.
Come here, you. Up you get.
Okay, darling. One last dance.
Where's the fuckin' old man?
What old man?
Hey! Hey l-I got five dollars says
you'll blow me for twenty bucks.
Oh. Oh, stop. Stop right here.
Stop right here. Hey, baby.
Hey. Oh. Hiya.
Hey, baby. How you doin'?
I'm doin' okay, baby.
How you doin'?
What you need?
You know what I need.
Let's take a walk.
Come on, Daddy.
Fuck you, Chelios.
Fuck you, Chelios!
Hey, fuck you, Chelios!
fuck you chelios
Fucking fuck your balls, Chelios.
Hey, yo, Chelios. Fuck you.
fuck off chelios
Fuck... off... Cheli-fucking-os!
Tell me what he's like when he's at home.
When he's home? He's like a ghost.
He just plays those video games...
...all day, all night.
And you let him do that.
Well, I mean, you did buy the games
for him, yeah?
Of course. Why should I deny my son?
How are you today, Chev?
I'm golden, sir.
Your mum tells me that you've been
getting into quite a bit of trouble.
Is that true?
Yes, sir. Regretfully, that's true.
What kind of trouble?
Fighting... talking back... pinching.
Televisions, stereo components,
books from the library.
That's not all.
Also, a till from a restaurant.
And one car.
A toy car?
No, sir. A BMW Zed One.
Chev, sit. Sit down.
People. All right.
I hear you've been having quite a bit
of trouble at school, too.
Nothing I can't handle, sir.
I have a lot of piss and vinegar.
Oh, shite, Mom!
Hey! You want to watch your dirty
little mouth, son.
We tried givin' him Ritalin, but...
I sold it.
With all this energy, uh,
you've never thought about,
I don't know, tryin' out for sports?
I like to run.
I never met the wanker.
He died before I was born.
What do you think he'd say if he saw
you acting out like this?
Don't know, sir.
If he were here now...
and he asked you...
"Why the bloody hell do you do
the things you do, son?"
what would you tell him?
Don't know, sir. Bored, I guess.
Bored, he guesses.
We're gonna take a short break now
but when we return...
we are gonna find out what makes
you tick little man.
Hey. You okay? Wake up.
Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What happened to you?
Wh-What are you doin' out here?
Oh. Trying to get my boyfriend.
What are you out here for?
Uh, I'm looking for the man
that killed my brother.
I have to go. I might not come back.
Give all the girls kisses
and hugs for me, okay?
I kiss and hug all the pussy.
You go kill cocksucker.
Some boyfriend you got there, Miss Lydon.
He lied to you for what, six months,
regarding his line of work,
which I guess wouldn't be such a big
deal if he wasn't a hired killer!
He made you a target for the South
American mob for kidnapping, torture,
or worse sexually humiliated you
in front of... what?
I don't know... half of Los Angeles, twice.
And then left you there to take the rap.
And now you can add an arrest
and a police record to
the list of wonderful things Mr. Chelios
has brought to your life.
Help me out here, sweetheart, okay?
'Cause, uh... 'cause I'm a
little bit confused.
Why the fuck... do you continue to
protect this asshole?
That's a dicky question.
Besides, I don't know
who you're talking about.
I mean... I'd like to see you fall out
of a helicopter and live.
It looks like you made bail.
Great. Can I have my stuff back?
Yeah. Yeah, just, uh, just one
little piece of advice.
Wake the fuck up... and smell
I take it you're the greasy fucker that's
been huntin' me all day.
Some people know me by this fucking name.
And many men have died cursing
the name of El Huron...
as they choked on their own blood
and the blood of their families.
I was born with another name...
the name of my father.
Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah, fuckin' hell.
And my father's father's.
We're all very sad.
And the name... that I share...
with my two brothers...
Well, l-I can tell...
by the tick-tick-tick...
that you had no idea...
that there was a third brother.
That fact escaped me...
or I assure you, Elvis,
I would have made it a fucking hat trick.
I got a trick-or-treat for you cabron.
I'm gonna make you wish...
that you was never a man.
If you want to kill what's left of me,
you get on with it.
What's the rush, Chelios?
I know someone who's going to
love to watch this.
You got the donor?
Like you got a boner.
You always say y-you want to
be more spontaneous.
We gonna go back to my place.
That sounds good.
Ricardo never wanted my money Chelios.
He was, uh, too stubborn.
He wanted to make his own way.
But now I think he likes what
my money can buy.
The technology to keep his brain alive.
Not forever but long enough to
watch you die.
Yo, Ferret this ain't Roots, man.
You got to be fucking kidding me.
You killed my brother, motherfucker.
Prepare to die.
Fuck you, Chelios!
Ronnie James Dio!
This way, sugar.
Confucius say... karma's a bitch.
Why do we go on like this, Ricky?
Hurting each other?
Did you say, "Water"?
H-two-O coming right up.
Chev Cherios! Che...
Chev Cherios. Chev. Chev.
I'm cuttin' the battery.
The battery's out.
Paddles. Give me the paddles.
What's going on?
What the fuck is wrong with you, man?
What the fuck?
It's so hard to keep a straight face.
Come back here.
Nail the mark.
All right, let's go.
Uh, body parts ready?
Taping. Here we go.
And... you set there?
Go. Go, Lance. Run, Lance.
Droppin' loads all over your silly wages!
You think these muscles are free?
You think this cock's for free?
No way! No scabs, no crabs!
No scabs, no crabs! I'm gonna bang
that bitch in the back!
I'm gonna bang your prisoner!
Droppin' loads all over your prisoner!
Okay. Look at Jason and say it.
Droppin' loads all over your prisoner!
Droppin' loads all over your silly wages!
Yeah! Yeah! Fuck you!
I take it you're the faggot
that's been hunting me all day.
I take it day. The Faggot.
The Faggot. Oh, sorry, the Ferret.
No dough, no blow! No dough, no blow!
Dicks like this don't come for free!
Huh. Lips like this don't come for free.
That's what I meant to say.
I got lost.
I meant, "Lips like this don't
come for free."
Oo. Oh. Ooh-hoo. Oo.
Oo, my horse!
I never had it that way before.
Let us kiss for a second.
Okay. Yeah. Okay-Okay.
And here we go.
Fuck! You need a few mints.
That was unbelievable. Are you okay?
Yeah. Holy shit! Oh, fuck!
That was fuckin' cool!
Almost cradled the balls on that.
That was fuckin' great!
Look, I'm sure we got it.
Good job, brother.
That was so cool.
That was awesome.
You okay? Holy shit.
Fuck, that was hot!