Drag Me To Hell Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Drag Me To Hell script is here for all you fans of the Sam Raimi horror movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Drag Me To Hell quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

Drag Me To Hell Script

  


  
No! No!

  
(SCREAMING)

  
No!


  
MAN ON TAPE:
Repeat the following phrases
precisely as spoken.

  
There is no friction
with the proper diction.

  
CHRISTINE:
There is no friction
with the proper diction.

  
Good sounds abound
when the mouth is round.

  
Good sounds abound
when the mouth is round.

  
Round. Round.

  
I think we can
make this work.

  
I'll call you
this afternoon
and let you know.

  
Thank you so much.
Thank you.

  
You're welcome.
Thank you.

  
Thank you.
Have a great day.

  
Yeah, you, too.
Have a good day.
Okay.

  
Thank you.
Bye.

  
WOMAN:
Here you go, Mr. Jacks.

  
MR. JACKS: Thank you.

  
Mr. Jacks?

  
I was wondering if
you'd made any decision

  
regarding the assistant
manager's position.

  
Well, I'm still deciding,
and right now, it's
between Stu and yourself.

  
Stu Rubin,
the new guy?

  
Well, I know he's new,
but he's also
quite aggressive,

  
and we like that.

  
You know, Stu's
someone who's not afraid
to crunch the numbers

  
and make the
tough decisions.

  
I'm perfectly
capable of making
the tough decisions.

  
I'll let you know as
soon as I decide. Okay?

  
In the meantime,
take him through our
loan qualifying procedures,

  
just in case, all right?

  
Okay.

  
And would you mind
taking your lunch break now?

  
Sure.

  
And maybe on your way back,
you could pick me
up a turkey club?

  
STU: Turkey club,
excellent choice!

  
You mind picking
one up for me? Thanks.

  
And spicy mustard.

  
What have you got?
Could I get your
approval on this?

  
This is the loan we
talked about before.
The loan.

  
Exactly.

  
Good one, huh?
One-point-five?

  
Absolutely,
and it'll be one of many.

  
Well, Professor,
congratulations

  
on making it
through your first week.

  
Thank you very much.

  
Mmm.

  
I thought you'd have
a full beard by now.

  
So did I.
I'm a little disappointed.

  
Man, this thing. That's it.
I'm done. I'm out.

  
Chris, don't even bother.

  
I gotta get a new one.

  
I'm telling you, you're gonna
drive yourself nuts.
It's completely

  
broken.

  
Was broken.

  
You are cocky and
sexy and unbelievable.

  
I almost forgot.
Found it at the bank.

  
What is this?

  
No way! Wow.
It's a 1929 Standing Liberty,
and it's almost fully struck.

  
You found this in
regular circulation
at the bank?

  
I did.

  
I'm gonna add this
to my nerdy
coin collection.

  
Thank you, baby.
Okay.

  
Thanks for
thinking of me.

  
All right. Bye.
Bye.

  
See you later.
I'll see you later, okay?

  
(PHONE RINGING)

  
Dr. Dalton.
WOMAN: Hello, dear.

  
Hi, Mom.

  
What are you doing?

  
Christine just came over
and brought some lunch,

  
and I'm correcting
some papers.
Christine?

  
The one from the farm?

  
Yeah, Mom, the girl
I've been dating
for almost a year,

  
the girl who's
coming for dinner.
We're still on for dinner?

  
I'm sure she's
a very sweet girl.

  
She is.
I can't wait
for you...

  
But, you know,
your father and I

  
just have certain
expectations for you.

  
I can't really do
the expectations...

  
I understand
Amy Kulick is looking

  
for someone to
play tennis with.
Yeah, I...

  
You know, she graduated
from Yale Law with honors,

  
and she's a very
successful attorney now.

  
I know. You told me.

  
Yeah, that's
the kind of girl

  
I would love
to see you with.
Mother...

  
She's the kind of woman
who could really
help you socially

  
and, as a result,
in your career.

  
And that's the kind
of thing you should be
thinking about now.

  
Mother, I don't wanna...
You can't be
playing around

  
with little girls
off the farm.

  
I think you're
really gonna...

  
I think you're
really gonna like...

  
It's time to
really find a partner.

  
Christine,
you messed up my order.

  
No, I didn't.

  
Yeah, I said no mayo.

  
You never said that.

  
You know what?
Don't sweat it.
It's okay.

  
(CHUCKLES)

  
STU: Mr. Jacks,
by the way,
aren't you a Laker fan?

  
MR. JACKS:
I am a Laker fan.

  
My mom is having
this thing on Sunday.
I can't use these.

  
Are you serious?
Yeah. Absolutely.
You want them?

  
These are great seats!
They are great seats.

  
This is where they
bring the hot dogs
right to you.

  
Yes, it is.
You are gonna
hobnob with celebs.

  
Yes, it is.
You are gonna
hobnob with celebs.

  
You sure that's okay?
Absolutely,
it's okay. Yeah.

  
Well, thank you, Stu.
Take them. Absolutely.

  
Wow.
Say hey to Kobe for me.

  
Of course.

  
Will you help me?

  
Of course.
What can I do for you?

  
Your trucks are at
my house. The men are
packing all my things,

  
private things.
Please, make them stop.

  
(COUGHING)

  
Mrs...
Ganush.

  
(HAWKING)

  
Mrs. Ganush,
the bank is informing you

  
of their intent to
repossess your property

  
at 325 Brandon Street today.

  
But this is my home
for 30 years.

  
And I make
every payment until
the sickness took my eye.

  
I hope to have
more money soon.

  
I just need
a little more time. You...

  
I don't think
my manager's going

  
to extend you
any more credit.

  
Please.
Won't you try?

  
Okay.

  
Bless you.

  
Bless you!

  
CHRISTINE: We have
an elderly woman asking

  
for an extension on
her mortgage payment.

  
She's on a fixed income,
and she's had some
medical problems.

  
There's gotta be something
we can do to help her.

  
Well, apparently,
we've already granted
her two extensions.

  
And, you know,
on this type of foreclosure,
we seize the trapped equity

  
and the bank makes
a sizable amount in fees.

  
We would have
to throw her out
of her house.

  
It's a tough decision.

  
Your call.

  
I'll take care of it.

  
Mrs. Ganush.

  
I'm sorry, Mrs. Ganush,

  
but another
extension on the loan
is out of the question.

  
but it is in the bank's...

  
No, please,
this is my home.
Where will I live?

  
You list
your granddaughter
as a reference.

  
Maybe you could
stay with her.

  
I would not burden her.

  
And there are several
fine assisted living
facilities for the elderly...

  
A nursing home?
No, I would never live
in one of those places.

  
I'm really sorry.

  
I am proud woman,
Miss Brown,

  
and never have I
begged for anything.

  
But now,
I beg for you.

  
I humble myself before you.
Mrs. Ganush.
Mrs. Ganush, please.

  
Please stand up.
I, Sylvia Ganush, beg.

  
On my mother's grave,
I beg you!

  
Please let go. Let go!

  
Security! Stop!

  
(GRUNTS)

  
WOMAN: Over here,
Billy! Over here!

  
GUARD: We're coming.

  
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

  
You shame me.

  
I beg you,
and you shame me.

  
GUARD 1:
I think your business is
finished here, ma'am.

  
Let's go.

  
Mrs. Ganush...

  
(SCREAMING)

  
Get out of here!

  
Come on, ma'am.
GUARD 2: Let's go.

  
I never saw anything
quite like that before.

  
Are you okay?

  
You handled that
just right, you know.

  
GUARD: Good night.
See you tomorrow.

  
WOMAN: Okay.

  
You know, I just
finished going over
this McPherson loan.

  
This is very
impressive work.

  
Thanks.

  
Would you mind
taking this home tonight
and finishing it up?

  
Because I would
like to show it

  
to the regional
veep in the morning.

  
I would love to.
Great.

  
Thank you.

  
And as far as that
assistant manager's
position goes,

  
you're at the top
of the list.

  
(VIOLENT COUGHING)

  
(ENGINE STARTS)

  
(SHRIEKS)

  
(BREATHING DEEPLY)

  
(GASPS)

  
You shamed me.

  
(SCREAMING)

  
(SYLVIA MUMBLING)

  
(SCREAMING)

  
(GROANS)

  
(GASPS)

  
You shamed me.

  
(SCREAMING)

  
(SYLVIA MUMBLING)

  
(SCREAMING)

  
(GROANS)

  
(GROANING)

  
(GROANING)

  
(GROANING)

  
(GROANING)

  
(HIGH-PITCHED SCREECHING)

  
(HIGH-PITCHED SCREECHING)

  
(HIGH-PITCHED SCREECHING)

  
(SCREAMS)

  
(GROANING)

  
(SCREAMING)

  
(SCREAMS)

  
(GROANING)

  
(SCREAMING)

  
(GASPS)

  
(GASPS)

  
(SCREAMING)

  
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)

  
I beat you,
you old bitch!

  
(SCREAMING)

  
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)

  
I beat you,
you old bitch!

  
(PANTING)

  
(CREAKING)

  
(SCREECHING)

  
(PANTING)

  
(CREAKING)

  
(SCREECHING)

  
No!

  
(SCREAMING)

  
(CHANTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

  
Lamia.

  
Soon it will be you
who comes begging to me.

  
OFFICER:
She's right over there.

  
CLAY: Thank you,
thank you.

  
Hey!

  
Once they send some officers
over to have a talk with her,

  
she's not gonna
be bothering you
anymore, okay?

  
So don't even
think about her.

  
And I'm gonna
call Mr. Jacks
and just make sure

  
he can have somebody
walk you to your car
every night, okay?

  
Okay.

  
I just thank God you're okay.
You are okay, right?

  
I'm fine.

  
What? What's the matter?

  
It's just that

  
maybe I could have
gotten her another
extension on her loan.

  
Chris, no,
don't do that.

  
You said the bank
granted this woman

  
two extensions already,
right?

  
I'm sorry, if you
don't pay your mortgage,
you lose your house.

  
What does this woman expect?
It's not your fault.

  
You can't beat
yourself up over it.

  
CLAY: I mean,
what'd she expect?
It's not your fault.

  
And regardless of
what you may or may not
have been able to do,

  
that's still no
justification for her...

  
What is it?
What's wrong?

  
Did you hear that?

  
What?

  
Really? You didn't?

  
No. What?

  
I know this is
gonna sound weird,

  
but I wanna get
my fortune read.

  
(LAUGHS)

  
Now? Are you kidding?

  
Come on, Chris.
I'll read your
fortune for you.

  
In the near future,
we are gonna
get in the car,

  
go home and relax.
Clay, I really
want to do this.

  
Why? Because of
what happened with
that old woman?

  
Chris, I really think
we should just
get you home now.

  
Can you do this for me?

  
I pray to God
none of my students
see me here.

  
The only class
I'll be able to teach is,
like, Hypocrisy 101.

  
Yeah, there's so many things
to choose from here.

  
Unfortunately,
not what I'm looking for,

  
which is a weird
little dried monkey head.

  
Wait, no, never mind,
he's got one.

  
I am Rham Jas, seer.

  
I'm Christine
and this is Clay.

  
But you probably
already knew that,
right?

  
Just kidding.

  
How can I help you?

  
I would like to
have my fortune read.

  
Can you do that?

  
I have the ability to
see certain energies.

  
Sometimes these energies
are a foretoken
of things to come.

  
$60, please.

  
Seriously?
Yes.

  
Sixty... Doesn't
that seem a little steep
for this sort of thing?

  
If you're not serious,
please go.

  
All right.
Come on, Chris.

  
Wait, wait!
I'll... I'll pay.

  
No, you know what?
You know what?
I got it. I got it.

  
There you go.

  
Platinum card.
Very good.

  
Thank you.

  
Here, here, baby.
Thanks.

  
Sure.

  
Uh-uh.

  
Please.

  
Okay.

  
So, you wish to know
something of your destiny.

  
Yes.
Very good.

  
Let's see what
the fates have in store.

  
CLAY: You know,
Freud said destiny
was not an act of fate,

  
but rather
something created
by our subconscious

  
to control our
conscious choices.

  
That's true.

  
But we cannot
attempt to understand
the world by intellect alone.

  
Carl Jung.
Yes.

  
From his treatise
Psychological Types.

  
So...
Jung, the New Agers'
favorite psychologist.

  
Because he wasn't
afraid to bring God
into the equation.

  
Well, he wasn't
afraid to bring God into...

  
Clay, Clay, come on.
Let's do it. I know.
Come on. Let's start.

  
Shall we?
I'm ready.

  
Very well.
Please, give me your hand.

  
Very well.
Please, give me your hand.

  
Okay.

  
This way. Okay.

  
You work with money.

  
That's right.

  
And you've recently
lost something.

  
No, I don't think so.

  
No. No, you haven't
lost anything.

  
But something's
been taken from you.

  
No.

  
A button.

  
Oh, my God. Yes!

  
Well, anyone can see
she's missing a button!
So what?

  
But, Clay,
it was really strange.

  
The old woman today,
she took a button
from my sleeve.

  
Why would she do that?

  
If you would both
please just be quiet!

  
(GASPS)

  
(SCREECHING)

  
I think that's
enough for tonight.

  
What's wrong?

  
I'm tired, and I see
it's become quite late.

  
I will, of course,
refund your money.

  
Wait, wait, wait!
Did you see something?

  
A dark spirit
has come upon you.

  
What do you mean?
Well, he's...

  
Did you blaspheme the dead
while visiting a graveyard?

  
with a Ouija board

  
or consort with
those who practice
the black arts?

  
All right,
take it easy, man.
Come on.

  
Wait. Clay, Clay, Clay.
No. No, I didn't.

  
Perhaps someone
has cursed you.

  
Then how did he
know all that?

  
Know what?
That you lost a button?

  
And by the way,
he didn't really
know that much.

  
He makes a couple
of good guesses,
then he...

  
He stirs you up,
and then he leaves you
with all these questions

  
and, conveniently,
his business card.

  
Come on, Chris,
he's a scam artist.

  
But he didn't want the money.
He tried to give
it back, remember?

  
Well, he sort of tried,
but in the end,
he took it, didn't he?

  
I guess so.

  
CLAY: I gotta go meet
the guy that's
towing your car,

  
so you gonna be okay?

  
Kitty, take care of her.

  
I'll see you in about
an hour. Love you.
Okay.

  
Okay.

  
(OVEN BELL DINGS)

  
(CREAKING)

  
(DOOR RATTLES)

  
(CREAKING)

  
(CREAKING CONTINUES)

  
(CREAKING)

  
(CREAKING CONTINUES)

  
(GASPS)

  
(SHRIEKS)

  
(MEOWING)

  
(SCREAMING)

  
Damn it.

  
(SCREAMS)

  
(PANTING)

  
(SCREAMS)

  
(PANTING)

  
Here. Put that
on your lip.
Thank you.

  
I can't believe she
came to the house.

  
This is so nuts.
I'm calling the cops.

  
Here. Put that
on your lip.
Thank you.

  
I can't believe she
came to the house.

  
This is so nuts.
I'm calling the cops.

  
Who was it then?
It wasn't her.

  
I don't know.
I couldn't see who it was.

  
Of course it was her.
It had to be her.

  
No, Clay,
it wasn't anyone!

  
It was somebody.
Chris, it had to
be somebody.

  
The lights were out.
You just couldn't
see who it was,

  
but I'm guessing it was...
Clay, there wasn't
anybody here.

  
Then who did this?

  
Who hit you in the face?

  
Huh?

  
DOCTOR: I think it's just
a reaction to her being
attacked earlier in the day.

  
CLAY: Yeah.
Classic symptoms of
post-traumatic stress.

  
Yeah, she's showing
signs of panic
and paranoia. So...

  
Do you want me to
walk you out, man?
No, no, no, I'll be fine.

  
All right.

  
(DOOR CLOSES)

  
Hey, hey.

  
How you doing?

  
Better.
Yeah?

  
Especially after
the doctor
explained it to me.

  
He said that
victims of violence,

  
they re-experience...
Re-experience their trauma.

  
I misinterpreted it
to be something
more than it was.

  
Happens.

  
I just... I feel...

  
What?
Kind of embarrassed.

  
Are you kidding? No.
You never have to be
embarrassed with me.

  
Okay?

  
Hey, listen,
I was thinking maybe

  
we could take
a little trip on Saturday,

  
get on the train and
go to Santa Barbara.
Your folks' cabin.

  
Yeah, if you're up
for it, the cabin.

  
Oh, my God,
I would love to!
Yeah? Good.

  
That'd be so exciting.

  
Baby, you're gonna love it.

  
You're gonna love it.
Okay, good.

  
I'm excited for
you to see it.
There's trees

  
and it's private.
That would be great.

  
It'll be great.
It'll be good.

  
I think we need to.
And we can just...
We can just talk and stuff.

  
(COUGHS)

  
(CHOKING)

  
(GASPS)

  
What?

  
(SCREAMS)

  
(CHOKING)

  
(GASPS)

  
What?

  
What's the matter?

  
I couldn't...
I couldn't wake up.

  
It's okay. Okay.

  
Come here.
It was just a dream.

  
Baby, that's the rental car
they dropped off this morning.

  
Okay? Sure.
Thanks.

  
Love you.
Love you, too.

  
Hey, baby,
try not to piss off any
old ladies today, okay?

  
(FLY BUZZING)

  
STU: Hey, Christine?

  
What, are you
just getting here?

  
What are you,
the hall monitor?

  
Ha, ha.
Very funny, Christine.

  
What's this?

  
What do you want?

  
I need you to
finish teaching me
the loan procedures.

  
I've got a lot on my mind.
Can we do this tomorrow?

  
Sure.
Okay.

  
I'll just tell Mr. Jacks
that you don't have
the time right now.

  
Maybe he can tell me.
No, no!
Okay, I'll do it.

  
Okay.

  
We were going over
the asset-based
lending guidelines.

  
Right. Let's say
your client is a company

  
that can't get
traditional bank financing.

  
And?

  
And...

  
And?

  
And...

  
And get your filthy
pig knuckle off my desk!

  
(PHONE RINGS)

  
Christine Blood... Brown.

  
Christine. Your nose.

  
Sure, can you hold?

  
under control.

  
Oh, my God!
What is with you?

  
Mr. Jacks!

  
Did I get any in my mouth?
Oh, my God!

  
Christine. Your nose.

  
Sure, can you hold?

  
under control.

  
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

  
God! Oh, my God!
Stop it!

  
Mr. Jacks!

  
Did I get any in my mouth?
Oh, my God!

  
Did I get any in my mouth?

  
Did I get any in my mouth?

  
Let me take you
over here to get clean.

  
I'm so sorry!
Oh, my God!

  
MR. JACKS:
What was that about?

  
WOMAN: It's just
a nosebleed.

  
Did I get any in my mouth?

  
We'll clean you up.
We have antiseptic.

  
(KNOCKS)

  
(WIND CHIME TINKLING)

  
What is it?

  
Hi. I came to
see Sylvia Ganush.
Is she here?

  
Who are you?

  
I'm a friend of hers.

  
Someone...
Wait.

  
I know who you are.
Grandma told me
you would come.

  
You are
the woman from the bank,
the one who took her house.

  
Actually,
it was the bank
that took the house.

  
I mean,
I just work there.

  
In fact, I tried
to help your grandma
get the house back,

  
but my boss
wouldn't let me.

  
Are you going to
stand here on my porch
and lie to my face?

  
No.

  
You used to be a real
fat girl, didn't you?

  
Yeah.

  
I can tell.

  
You are not
welcome here.

  
Wait! Wait.
I need to see her.

  
I need her to forgive me.
And I'll get her
the house back.

  
And you are gonna
make everything
all right for her,

  
is that it?

  
Yes.

  
Come on.

  
(VIOLIN PLAYING)

  
Where is she?

  
(LAUGHING)

  
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

  
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

  
(SHRIEKS)

  
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)

  
Get her off me!
Get her off me!

  
Come! Don't look.

  
MAN 1: Grab her shoulder.

  
WOMAN:
Be a man! Lift her up!

  
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)

  
Get her off me!
Get her off me!

  
Come! Don't look.

  
MAN 1: Grab her shoulder.

  
WOMAN:
Be a man! Lift her up!

  
MAN 2: Be careful.

  
MAN 3: Let's roll the dice!

  
Still going to
make everything
all right for her?

  
You deserve everything
that is coming to you.

  
(PEOPLE CHEERING)

  
MAN 4: One more time!

  
I believe
what plagues you
is the Lamia.

  
Lamia, that's the word
the old woman used.

  
The Black Goat,
only summoned by gypsies
for their darkest deeds.

  
For the first three days,
the Lamia appears
as a nasty spirit

  
that torments its victim.

  
After that,
it reveals itself to be
a taker of souls,

  
and it comes for the owner
of the accursed object.

  
Accursed object.
What object?

  
Something taken
from the victim,
cursed and given back.

  
This?

  
What if I just burn it?

  
I'm afraid no matter
what condition
the button is in,

  
you would still
be the owner.

  
The Lamia would
still come to take you.

  
Take me where?

  
Then how do I
get rid of this?

  
You could attempt
to appease the spirit.

  
The simplest way would be
a blood offering.

  
A small creature
could be sacrificed,
a chicken perhaps.

  
No way!
Look, I'm a vegetarian.

  
I volunteer at
the puppy shelter,
for Christ's sake.

  
I don't go around
killing animals.

  
You will be surprised
what you'll be willing to do

  
when the Lamia
comes for you.

  
This will show you how.

  
(CAT MEOWS)

  
Hi!

  
(CREAKING)

  
(BANGING)

  
(SCREECHING)

  
(DOOR OPENS)

  
(DOOR SLAMS)

  
(GROWLING)

  
(PHONE RINGS)

  
(STOMPING)

  
(STOMPING CONTINUES)

  
(GROWLING)

  
(BEEPING)

  
(ROARING)

  
(SCREAMING)

  
Here, kitty, kitty.

  
(PANTING)

  
Here, kitty, kitty.

  
(PANTING)

  
Here, kitty, kitty.

  
(CAT MEOWS)

  
(SCREAMING)

  
(CAT SHRIEKING)

  
CLAY: Chris! Chris?

  
CLAY: Chris! Chris?

  
Chris?

  
Hey, there you are.

  
What are you
doing out here?

  
Baby, I called the bank.
They said you left early.

  
You're not
answering my calls.

  
Is that blood?

  
No. Why would
there be blood?

  
Yeah, baby, there's...
There's blood on your sleeve.

  
Are you bleeding?
No.

  
It was just tomato juice.

  
I was cutting
a tomato in the kitchen

  
and it must have
gotten on my sleeve.

  
Hey, Chris,
why don't we do this
dinner another time?

  
You've had
a rough couple of days.
I think it's better.

  
No, I want to go
to the dinner.

  
I know, but are you sure
you're feeling all right?

  
Honestly, I haven't been.

  
But I think...

  
I think that everything
is gonna be okay now.

  
I really do.

  
What do you think?

  
You look beautiful.

  
CHRISTINE:
God, it's such a nice day!

  
CLAY: It really is. My God.

  
It's gonna be
nice inside, too.

  
(DOORBELL RINGS)

  
They're gonna love you.

  
Clayton.
Hello, Mother.

  
Good to see you.
This is Christine.

  
That's my mom, Trudy.
Hello, Christine.

  
Hello. It's very nice
to meet you.

  
Well.

  
Please, come in.
Come in.

  
Yes.

  
Hey, Dad,
how are you?
Hey, son.

  
Good to see you, sir.

  
This is Christine.
Christine, this is
my dad, Leonard.

  
Nice to meet you.
Hi, Maria. Thank you.

  
You have a
beautiful home.

  
Well, thank you very much.

  
Can I get you a drink?
Yeah, wine?

  
Do you guys want?
Sure.

  
Okay. Come help me.

  
I'll be right back.

  
I'll take a Chardonnay!
LEONARD: Yes, dear.

  
I hope you don't mind.

  
How thoughtful.

  
Homemade?
Yes.

  
And what type of cake
would you call that?

  
It's called

  
a harvest cake.

  
Is that something
you would make on a farm?

  
No.

  
I mean, not anymore.
We used to when we
had a gaggle of geese.

  
the harvest time,

  
that's when your goose eggs
will make a real dense yolk.

  
It makes for a rich cake.

  
Well, just thank you.

  
Here we are.
Sorry to interrupt
the bonding sesh.

  
Why don't you join us
in the dining room?
Good.

  
Yeah, let's go.
It's right in here.
Okay.

  
(HISSING)

  
Jeez.
Hecuba.

  
I never did understand
that damned animal.
I hate cats.

  
That is so strange.
Hecuba is usually
very sweet.

  
That's okay.
I had a cat.
I understand.

  
You mean...
You mean you have a cat.

  
What do you mean?
Did something happen?

  
Unless something
happened to him.

  
Well, how am I
supposed to know?

  
I mean,
you know how cats are.
They come and they go.

  
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

  
That's true.

  
Well, should... Well... Yes.
Yes, please.

  
So, how's the
coin collection, son?

  
That's my dad's
way of saying,

  
"So, you're still
a huge nerd?"

  
It's good. It's good.

  
In fact,
Christine just got me

  
a 1929 Standing Liberty
quarter at her bank.

  
Yeah, it's rare.

  
I just think
the job of a bank teller
must be so difficult,

  
with all that counting
and repetition.

  
It must get very tedious.

  
Yes, you're right,

  
but I'm not a teller.
Oh?

  
CLAY: Yeah, Mom, I told you.
Christine's a loan officer.

  
She handles all the loans
for small businesses
and homes for her bank.

  
And she's up for this
big promotion, so...

  
Right, Chris?

  
If I could close
this one account
that I'm working on,

  
it would really help.

  
That must be
a very important loan.

  
It's the biggest
that my branch
has ever handled.

  
And how did
that come to you?

  
Well, I was reading
the Wall Street Journal

  
and came across
this medical supply company

  
that was looking
to expand but didn't
have the liquidity.

  
So I met with their CFO
and presented a formula

  
for restructuring
some of their long-term debt.

  
Sounds like you've got
a lot going for you,
Christine.

  
Well, your mother must
be very proud of you.

  
I suppose.

  
I don't see
much of my mother.

  
Why is that?
Wow, Mom, that's...
It's kind of personal.

  
I'm speaking
to Christine.

  
Well, ever since my dad died,
she doesn't talk much.

  
She just stays on
the farm and keeps
to herself because...

  
Because?

  
Because her
husband died, Mom,

  
Because her
husband died, Mom,

  
and she just wants
to be by herself.

  
Why don't...
Because my mother's
an alcoholic.

  
Oh.

  
(STAMMERING)
I'm sorry.

  
It's certainly nothing
to be ashamed of.

  
I have to say,
I find your honesty
very refreshing.

  
My father had
a drinking problem,

  
and I was always too
ashamed to admit it.

  
You've got backbone.

  
Unlike that last
girl he brought by.

  
What was her name?
Alice.

  
We don't have to...
Alicia!

  
Christine.

  
She was ill-mannered,
no ambition at all.

  
That's not really...
They met on the Internet.

  
There you go.
CLAY: What is that,

  
"They met on
the Internet"?
Really?

  
What does that mean?
Am I being
too hard on him?

  
No, not at all.

  
There you go.
Thank you very much.
Thanks a lot...

  
You know, I think I will try
some of that cake of yours.

  
...for tossing
me under the bus.
LEONARD: Look at that.
It looks great.

  
...for tossing
me under the bus.
LEONARD: Look at that.
It looks great.

  
(CREAKING)
You're gonna like it.

  
TRUDY: It looks
so interesting.

  
You only dislike it
if you hate delicious things.

  
LEONARD: Well,
that counts us out.
TRUDY: Not my problem.

  
Lovely.
Thank you, Christine.
This is wonderful.

  
CLAY: It also changed
the subject nicely.

  
Thank you. That looks good!

  
LEONARD:
Harvest cake, huh?
CLAY: That's right.

  
We'll have to
get this recipe.

  
TRUDY: It sounds so quaint,
doesn't it?

  
Did you hear something?

  
No. You okay?

  
TRUDY: Tasty!

  
I like it a lot.
I do like it.

  
You know, Mom,
when you say we met
on the Internet,

  
it's a little misleading.

  
(GASPS)

  
TRUDY:
Yes, well you need to do
that to find a good mate.

  
CLAY: She has a Facebook...
You can't even trust

  
the things you hear
or that people
write about themselves.

  
Very nice.
Even the pictures are
false half the time.

  
Isn't that true?
CLAY: It's true.

  
It doesn't really count.
TRUDY: I don't think
it's a misconception

  
to think that people
of good breeding

  
and success
should be able to meet
potential life partners

  
in a realistic situation.
CLAY: Well, you also have
a thing about bars.

  
(LOUD CREAKING)

  
Would you, Christine?

  
No. No, of course not.

  
CLAY: What? What...
But we did.

  
We met at a bar, Chris.
What are you talking about?

  
Oh, my God,
that's right!
She...

  
You two better get
your stories straight.

  
CLAY: It's not
a Klan rally, Mom.
It's a bar.

  
Yeah, we met...
We met at a bar,

  
and we set up
the date on the Internet.

  
You okay? You okay?

  
Some water?
Baby, have some...

  
Went down the wrong pipe.

  
Oh, my God!

  
I'm sorry, I don't...
There must be a window open.

  
(LOUD SCREECHING)

  
Chris?

  
(SHRIEKS)

  
Okay, I hear you!

  
What in the hell?
Leave me alone!

  
Just leave me
the hell alone!
Hey! Hey! Chris! Stop it!

  
Baby!
There's no one there.

  
Okay.

  
I think I'd better go.

  
Yes, I think that
would be best.

  
I know.
Wait, Chris...

  
Don't follow her!
She's a sick girl.

  
Mom, she needs my help.

  
Let her go.

  
Wait!

  
What's the matter?

  
Look, I did what you said!
I killed that little kitty!

  
You're so full of shit!

  
These are elusive
and powerful forces
we are dealing with.

  
There are no guarantees.

  
We must speak directly
to this dark spirit.

  
We must dissuade it
from taking your soul,
and soon.

  
I know someone
who can help us.

  
And I'm supposed
to trust you?

  
Tomorrow is the third day.
After that, the Lamia
will come for you.

  
We can't let that happen.
But you must understand,

  
the woman who can
help us must put herself
at great risk.

  
She will not do
that for free.

  
What do you need from me?

  
$10,000 cash

  
by tomorrow.

  
Mr. Jacks.
Yeah?

  
This is kind of
awkward for me,

  
and I know it's
not official yet,

  
but I was wondering
if I could get

  
an advance for
the new position.

  
What, the assistant
manager's position?

  
Yes. See, one of
my family members
is really sick.

  
They're not gonna die,
but they could.
Christine. Christine.

  
There's a problem.

  
The McPherson deal
was canceled last night.

  
What?
Yeah.

  
Right after I informed
the regional office

  
that we had this
big loan pending,

  
I find out that they
just made their deal
over at First National.

  
Now, I gotta call in to see
what exactly happened,

  
but right now,
this does not look too
good for you or for me.

  
So, this assistant
manager promotion
has been delayed.

  
In fact, you know,
I think, with everything
that's been happening,

  
I think I'm gonna have
to give this job to Stu.

  
Stu. I see.

  
I'm sorry.
Look, if you've got
family problems,

  
maybe you should
take the day off,
sort them out and...

  
(SCREAMING)

  
(SCREAMING)

  
(SCREAMING)

  
So, how much?

  
$3,800 for everything.

  
Including my jewelry?

  
Including.

  
But this stuff is worth
so much more than that.

  
Please. This is all I have.

  
I'm begging you.

  
Take it or leave it.

  
(CHRISTINE SOBBING)

  
Chris? Chris?

  
Baby?

  
I thought you were
lactose intolerant.

  
I am.

  
But then I thought,
"Screw it,
I'm eating ice cream."

  
I paid Rham Jas.

  
What? You're kidding me.

  
I paid him.

  
Why? I mean,
I thought that
you didn't believe.

  
I don't know what
I believe in anymore.

  
I really don't,
but I know that
you believe in this.

  
I know how important
it is to you,

  
and I know how much pain
this is causing you.

  
And, I also remembered...

  
I remembered
a promise that I made

  
the night I fell
in love with you.

  
I told myself
that I would...

  
I would always
look out for you.
I'd always take care of you.

  
So I paid him.

  
You remember the
night that you fell
in love with me?

  
I remember the second
I fell in love with you.

  
Oh, my God.

  
You sure you don't want
me to go in with you?

  
He said I should come alone.

  
Yeah, I know, I know he did.
He told me the same thing.

  
Christine,
if you will permit me

  
the pleasure of
an introduction,
Shaun San Dena.

  
Welcome.

  
How do you do?

  
Shaun San Dena is
an experienced medium.

  
Furthermore,
she's personally been
touched by the Lamia.

  
I first encountered
this spirit many years ago
in this very house.

  
And what happened?

  
I lost a young boy's
soul to the beast.

  
I have waited
these long years

  
for a chance at
redeeming myself,

  
a chance to
destroy the foul thing.

  
And...
MILOS: TetiŤko, please.

  
Tonight, my chance will come.

  
But to summon it,
I will need your help.

  
Can you be strong?

  
I'll try.

  
My late husband, Sandor,
was also medium.

  
He chose this site
to build a house upon

  
because he sensed
certain forces at work here.

  
In this place,
there is a particular...

  
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

  
A particular
confluence of forces

  
which allows
a doorway to be opened
through which we may pass...

  
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

  
...and through
which others may pass
into our world.

  
Please be seated.

  
(GOAT BLEATING)

  
What's going on?

  
Everything we're doing
is for your own good.

  
Please.

  
Christine, please.

  
Thank you.

  
(PRAYING IN SPANISH)

  
Once the spirit
has entered me,
put my hand upon the animal.

  
Do you understand?

  
Yes.

  
I force the spirit of
the Lamia into the goat.

  
Milos,
that's when you strike.

  
(BOTH SPEAKING SPANISH)

  
MILOS: I understand.

  
We all must be receptive.

  
(HUMMING)

  
What am I
supposed to do?

  
You must allow
the darkness in.

  
You must invite the dead
to co-mingle
with your spirit.

  
I'm scared.
Yes.

  
Now repeat these words,
"I welcome the dead
into my soul."

  
I welcome the dead
into my soul.

  
You must believe it!

  
I welcome the dead
into my soul.

  
I welcome the dead
into my soul.

  
I welcome the dead
into my soul.

  
I welcome the dead
into my soul.
...into my soul.

  
I welcome the dead
into my soul.

  
I welcome the dead
into my soul.

  
I welcome the dead
into my soul.

  
I welcome the dead
into my soul.

  
I welcome the dead
into my soul.

  
I welcome the dead
into my soul.

  
I welcome the dead...

  
(SHOUTING IN SPANISH)

  
I welcome the dead
into my soul.

  
I welcome the dead
into my soul.

  
I welcome the dead
into my soul.

  
I welcome the dead into...

  
Something else
is here with us.

  
Yes.

  
(TINKLING)

  
(LAUGHING)

  
This is not the Lamia.

  
It is the spirit of some

  
unsettled soul
from years ago.

  
Sometimes the unsettled ones
linger by the door.

  
SHAUN SAN DENA: There are
others here, as well.

  
Begone, foolish spirits!
Begone!

  
She is coming.

  
(DOOR RATTLING)

  
(RATTLING)

  
(LOUD SCREECHING)

  
(SILENCE)

  
(SCREECHING)

  
(GROANING)

  
(GROWLING)

  
Who now inhabits
the body of Shaun San Dena?

  
Lamia!

  
Lamia, what is it
you desire?

  
I desire the soul
of Christine Brown!

  
We will feast upon it
as she festers in the grave!

  
No! It was my manager,
Jim Jacks!

  
He was the one!
He was...
Silence!

  
Lamia, surely you can be
dissuaded from taking
this insignificant woman.

  
Surely she is not worthy
of your greatness.

  
(LAUGHING)

  
No!

  
I come for you, Christine.

  
You're mine!

  
(SCREECHING)

  
No!

  
You tricked me!

  
You black-hearted whore!

  
Now, Milos, now!

  
You bitch.

  
(SCREAMING)

  
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

  
Away, unclean spirit.

  
(LAUGHING)

  
Lamia!

  
As one who summoned
you to this circle,

  
I command you to
leave this instant.

  
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

  
Christine!

  
I don't want your cat,
you dirty pork queen!

  
Shaun San Dena!

  
You must banish the spirit!

  
Yes!

  
(SHAUN SAN DENA CHANTING)

  
Milos!

  
Oh, my God. I'm okay.

  
Thank God!

  
I'm okay.
Unbelievable!

  
You did it!
Thank God.

  
I tried.

  
Are you okay?

  
Oh, my God. Help me!

  
Call an ambulance.

  
Is she breathing?

  
No.

  
Oh, my gosh.

  
It's so sad.

  
Yes.

  
Strange how things work out.

  
She waited 40 years
for another chance
to overcome the Lamia,

  
and finally,
on the last night
of her life, she did.

  
No, I'm afraid
you misunderstand.

  
The Lamia cannot be
banished by a medium.

  
This is our
lesson tonight.
I'm sorry.

  
But I saw her get
rid of the thing.
No.

  
You saw her drive
it from a sťance.
That is all.

  
It will be back.
The goat was
never slaughtered.

  
When this night is through,

  
the Lamia will come
for the owner of
the accursed object.

  
Unless, of course,
you are no longer the owner.

  
Do you have the button?

  
Make a gift of it
and you've given
the curse away.

  
Why didn't you
tell me this before?

  
Because the Lamia
will tear the soul

  
out of whoever
you give that to.

  
They'll burn in
hell for eternity.

  
And I would have
sent them there.

  
And I would be
your accomplice.

  
Whatever you decide,
you have till morning.

  
Is it over?

  
It's over.

  
Clay!

  
You will burn in hell!

  
You will burn in hell!
You bitch,
you'll burn in hell!

  
Your turn's coming!

  
You will burn in hell!
You okay?

  
Holy shit.

  
(EXHALES)

  
Okay,
you sure you're still okay
about the Santa Barbara trip?

  
Yeah, I'm fine.
Yeah?

  
And what time
should I get you?

  
It's better if I meet you
at the station.

  
There's something
I've gotta do on the way.

  
I can do it.
You want me to do
it on my way to...

  
No! No.
I've got it under control.

  
We'll meet at,
like, 7:30 at the...
Wait! Where's my envelope?

  
What envelope?
It was in my purse.
I just had it!

  
It's just an envelope.
No, it's gotta be here!

  
It's here, so we'll
find it eventually.

  
Oh, my God.
Okay.

  
I thought I'd lost it. Okay.

  
Bye.
7:30. Don't be late.

  
BOY: Dad, can we go
to the Angel game?

  
What about the Dodgers?

  
We're only gonna be
in town for a few days.

  
I'm sure if I just
tell him how much
I care about you,

  
I mean,
he's gotta understand.

  
WAITRESS: Are you sure you
don't want anything else?
No.

  
So you're just gonna
sit here drinking coffee
all night long.

  
Yes. Maybe!
What's it to you?

  
Honey, I make
my money on tips.

  
Coffee drinkers don't tip.

  
Honey, just keep
the coffee coming

  
or I'll give you
a tip you won't forget.

  
Oh, my gosh.
What a delightful surprise.

  
You're the sweetest
person in the world.

  
Never mind what
it's about, Stu.

  
Just get here in 10 minutes
or I'm gonna tell Mr. Jacks

  
something you don't
want me to tell him.

  
STU: Oh, yeah? Like what?

  
Well, for starters,
that you stole

  
the McPherson
loan file off my desk

  
and gave it to
First National.

  
Now you got nine minutes!

  
Give me another.

  
Seriously?

  
Oh, God, Christine,
please don't tell on me.

  
I mean, if my dad
ever finds out...

  
Just tell me what you want.
I need to give
something to you.

  
A little gift.
A gift?

  
But I don't understand.
I thought you
called me down here

  
because I gave that
loan to First National...

  
Look, you don't
need to understand.
Just shut up!

  
Now, this gift
that I'm giving you,
it'll become your property.

  
You'll be the owner,
all right?

  
Okay.

  
(SNIFFS)

  
Okay.

  
What?

  
Forget it.

  
But I thought you
wanted to give it to me
'cause of the loan stuff.

  
Just leave.

  
Okay. Thank you
so much, Christine.

  
But you're not gonna
tell my dad, right?
Go!

  
Okay.

  
Who does deserve this?

  
Well? Is it possible?

  
There are gypsy blessings
bestowed upon the dead.

  
They give gifts
to their departed

  
to curry favor with
the deceased's soul,

  
for, truly,
the soul never dies.

  
Yes. I do believe
you can give the curse
to someone who has passed on,

  
but you must
make a formal gift

  
of the accursed
object to the deceased.

  
I'll do better than that.
I'll shove it down
her goddamn throat!

  
I'm gonna get some...

  
(GRUNTS)

  
(SCREAMS)

  
(GRUNTS)

  
I'm giving it back to you!

  
You're gonna take this thing.

  
Are you gonna
take this thing?

  
Take it!

  
That's the last of my
hair you're getting!

  
That's the last of my
hair you're getting!

  
I, Christine Brown,
do hereby make a formal
gift of this button

  
to you, Sylvia Ganush!

  
I, Christine Brown,
do hereby make a formal
gift of this button

  
to you, Sylvia Ganush!

  
Choke on it, bitch!

  
Goodbye.

  
(SHRIEKS)

  
(GASPING)

  
(PHONE RINGING)

  
CHRISTINE ON MACHINE:
Hi, it's Christine.

  
Leave a message and
I'll call you back.

  
Christine,
it's Jim, Jim Jacks.

  
I'm sorry
I'm calling so early,

  
but last night,
I found some
troubling information

  
about our friend Stu Rubin.

  
Apparently,
he stole your file
on the McPherson loan

  
and then tried to broker
his own deal at
First National.

  
I guess he thought
we wouldn't find out.

  
And we wouldn't have, either,
except that an hour ago,

  
he came by my house
and tried to pin
the whole thing on you.

  
After I confronted him
about a few inconsistencies
in his story,

  
he broke down
crying and, well,

  
we won't be seeing
him around anymore.

  
So I just wanted
you to know that,
come Monday morning,

  
that assistant
manager's position
will be waiting for you.

  
WOMAN ON PA:
Passenger Benson,
please meet your party

  
at the concourse
ticket counter.

  
MAN ON PA:
Welcome to Union Station.
Cookie, miss?

  
No, thanks.
We appreciate you choosing

  
train travel as your
mode of transportation,

  
and we wish you
a pleasant journey.

  
Hi. Good morning.

  
I'm sorry,
we're not open.

  
I just...
I just want this coat.

  
We're not open yet.

  
My boyfriend and I are
taking this really special
trip this morning.

  
Please?

  
WOMAN ON PA:
Northbound Surfliner,
service to Van Nuys,

  
Simi Valley, Oxnard,
Santa Barbara,

  
San Luis Obispo...
Clay?

  
Hey!
Hey! Oh, man! Hi.

  
God, I'm so glad
you're here.

  
So many things
I wanna tell you.

  
Wait, there's something
I wanna say

  
while I have it
straight in my head.
Okay. Go ahead.

  
You never stopped
believing in me.

  
Thank you for that.

  
And there's something else,
something that I couldn't
admit to before.

  
I could have
given Mrs. Ganush

  
another extension on
her loan, but I didn't.

  
It was my decision,
and it was wrong of me.

  
You have such
a good heart.

  
You're so beautiful
right now.

  
You're so beautiful
right now.

  
Do you like
my new coat?

  
I do. I really do.

  
What happened to
the old one, though?
I threw it out.

  
And I never want
to see it again.

  
Oh, no.

  
That's too bad,
because I...
Look what I found.

  
I found this
in the car.

  
I thought...

  
And I thought
maybe you could...

  
I thought maybe you
could sew it back on.

  
And I think you might have
my Standing Liberty quarter,

  
'cause the envelopes
kind of look the same.

  
Chris, what's wrong?

  
Oh, my God!
Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

  
Oh, God.
Hey, hey. Hey! Hey!

  
Stop! Chris! Oh, God!

  
Hey! Hey!

  
Hey, hey, no!
Hey! Oh, God, no!

  
(GASPS)

  
Hey, no!

  
(SCREAMING)

  
Help me!

  
Help me!

  
Help me!

  
Help me, please!


Special thanks to SergeiK.