Voila! Finally, the Fly Me To The Moon script is here for all you fans of the houseflies in space movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. At least you'll have some Fly Me To The Moon quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?
And swing on back to Drew's
Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.
Fly Me To The Moon Script
Weather looks good today.
On schedule for liftoff.
T minus 30 minutes and counting.
In 1957, the Soviet Union
opened the final frontier
by sending the Sputnik
satellite into orbit.
Four years later, when NASA was
putting monkeys in its rockets,
cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became
the first man to go into space.
The Soviets were beating the Americans
to every milestone off the planet.
Feeling a sense of urgency
in finding a way to overtake
the Soviets in the space race,
President John F. Kennedy
made a momentous statement
to a joint session of Congress
on May 25th, 1961.
I believe that this nation
should commit itself
to achieving the goal,
before this decade is out,
of landing a man on the moon and
returning him safely to the Earth.
Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words, oh, baby, kiss me
Okay, Apollo 10,
prepare for re-entry checklist.
Copy that. We are now 101,nautical miles from splashdown.
Groovin'
On a Sunday afternoon
Yeah
Really, oh, baby
Couldn't get away too soon
No, baby
I can't imagine
anything that's better
The world is ours
whenever we're together
There ain't a place
I'd like to be instead of
Groovin'
Hey, guys! Far out!
I found some double-chocolate layer cake
and pudding, too!
Didn't you just eat
four slices of pepperoni pizza?
What can I say?
I have a fast meatball-ism.
Metabolism. All flies do.
But you, Scooter, you're off the scale.
Cool!
That's not a good thing.
Obesity is very rare in flies,
given our propensity
for constant movement and all.
Gorging yourself
will lead to respiratory problems,
not to mention difficulty
maintaining a positive self-esteem.
Scooter! That is gross!
So, what's going on
with all the launches over there lately?
Beats me.
Hey, guys! You want some?
We're trying to work here, Scooter.
Okay.
I guess you don't want to hear
what I found out at Mikey's house.
The human's mom makes killer meat loaf
on Tuesdays.
Always chucks the leftovers.
Oh! And she made the best
upside-down pineapple cake,
with all the frosting,
whipped cream and chocolate syrup!
Enough with the food. What did you hear?
- I think the dad works for the space guys.
- Are you talking about NASA?
That's it. I overheard them talking
and they said these guys, the astro-nuts...
Astronauts. So, what about them?
Hi, guys. What you doing?
Nothing much. What are you doing here?
We're meeting Butch and Ray here.
They're taking us on a big adventure.
Oh, yeah? What kind of adventure?
Nothing much.
Just hopping the train to Kendrick,
grabbing a quick bite
at the treatment plant.
What are you pipsqueaks up to?
Looks like they're playing
backyard adventure to me, Butch.
Let me give you kids
a piece of adventuring advice.
Be alert.
Think like you got eyes behind your head.
We do have eyes behind our heads.
Bingo.
Ladies, shall we leave
these kids to their playtime?
Playtime! That's a good one, Butch!
Everybody's going on an adventure,
doing stuff.
And what do we do?
We talk about kid stuff.
We are kids.
Exactly.
So, you were saying about the astronauts?
- They're sending them to the moon.
- What? The moon?
- That's what I heard.
- Wow. That would be so cool.
An awesome scientific feat
is what it would be.
I'd like to do something like that.
You know, go someplace different,
someplace exotic.
I was at the Pinehill Dump last year
for this all-you-could-eat festival.
I'm talking someplace special, not a dump.
We're flies. We buzz around, eat,
make humans go crazy.
What else do you need out of life?
If it ain't an adventure,
it ain't worth doing.
Okay, Grandpa McFly.
Oh, no! I forgot!
What? What?
It's Grandpa's birthday party. I'm late!
Come on, you guys. You're both invited.
All right!
Hey, wait up, guys!
I'm going up the country,
baby, don't you wanna go
I'm going up the country
Baby, don't you wanna go
I'm going to some place
where I've never been before
Drop the cake!
You can't drop perfectly stale cake.
Mom says flies are starving in India.
I'm gonna leave this city,
got to get away
I'm gonna leave this city,
got to get away
All this fussing and fighting, man
You know I sure can't stay
Now, baby, pack your leaving trunk,
you know we got to leave today
Just exactly
where we going I cannot say
But we might even
leave the USA
'Cause there's a brand new game
and I wanna play
Louie!
Hiya, kid. Well, look at you,
all grown up with the light and all.
Careful, the girls will be all over you.
Hiya, Louie. You want some party mold?
Never turn down free mold.
Yeah, I'm trying to watch
my weight these days.
You never know
what kind of crap is in these things.
It's a dung ball, stupid!
There isn't anything but crap in it.
So a woman walks into the kitchen,
finds her husband walking around
with this huge swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asks.
"Hunting flies," he tells her.
"You get any?" she replies.
"Yep, three males, two females."
"How can you tell?"
"Well," he says,
"Three were on the beer can,
"and two were on the phone!"
Trust me, it's very funny.
Okay, kids, we're wearing Grandpa out.
Go out and play in the garbage.
Stay away from any chemicals!
And don't test the frogs!
- How are we holding up, Dad?
- Where's my favorite grandson?
Hello, Mrs. McFly.
Happy birthday, Grandpa McFly.
Yummy, is this brie?
Scooter, show some manners.
I think your grandson and company
have arrived.
- Here's my boy.
- Hi, Grandpa. Happy birthday.
What's this?
Oh, I remember this flypaper.
Still got some bite to it, don't it?
Yes, sir. It was down in Argentina.
Ended up saving ten lives that day,
barely escaped with my own wings intact.
Where in tarnation did you ever find it?
Mom had it hidden away.
And it would have stayed that way if it
wasn't for someone's snooping little ways.
Curiosity killed the cat.
Think what it would do to a fly.
You worry too much, sweetie.
Let him grow up, for darn sake.
- Tell your Grandpa here how you're doing.
- Just great. How are you doing?
Not bad for an old fly.
You know any hotties
who want to go honey-dipping?
Dad, be nice.
I'm gonna go check on the maggots.
Grandpa, you think a fly
could ever go to the moon?
The moon? Sure. Anything's possible.
Remember the motto,
if it ain't an adventure,
it ain't worth doing.
I ever tell you I once flew across
the Atlantic Ocean with Amelia Earhart?
About a hundred times.
You wanna hear it
a hundred and one times?
Sure. I love that story, Grandpa.
Well, if you insist.
We were about 10 hours into it,
out over the Atlantic Ocean.
Everything was going a-okay,
so I thought I'd take myself a little
snooze, catch 40 winks. You know.
Well, no sooner had I dozed off,
I woke up to find the plane
in one serious nosedive!
What was wrong, Grandpa?
I'll tell you what was wrong.
She gosh darn fell asleep.
That ocean was like black pavement,
and it was coming up real fast!
We were gonna die.
- What did you do, Grandpa?
- What any brave fly would do.
I flew straight up her nose.
She blew out one serious booger.
I was almost a goner.
You saved the day, Grandpa.
Darn right, I did.
After that, it was smooth flying.
Couple hours later, we landed in France.
The rest is history.
That's when I met Nadia.
Who's Nadia?
You never told me about her.
Oh, I guess I haven't.
Well, she was just about the prettiest
thing with wings I'd ever seen.
Russian, from Minsk.
Wow. You knew a Russian?
Sure did.
- How come you didn't marry her?
- Well...
That's kind of hard to explain.
Wasn't meant to be, I guess.
But she could put away the vodka.
We once drank so much, we...
Oh, Nat?
Why don't you go say hello
to your cousin Sheila?
- She just came out of her cocoon.
- Yeah. Sure, Mom.
See if anybody needs anything.
Don't let Scooter eat all the food.
Let me know
when you're taking off for the moon!
- I might want to come along with you.
- Don't put crazy ideas in his head, Dad.
Nothing crazy about a boy
having an imagination.
Can't hold him back forever.
I'm just trying to prepare him
for the real world out there, Dad.
Dreamers get swatted.
Mrs. McFly, one of your maggots
just jumped on the Baxters' dog.
- They're halfway down the block.
- Coming.
All right!
Who wants to twist an antenna
with old Louie?
When I don't know what to do
I just wanna fly, fly, fly
I wanna be with you
and make you dance, dance, dance
Baby, baby, baby,
make me feel so hot, hot, hot
Let me know
when you're taking off for the moon!
I might want to come along with you.
Okay. I've been doing a lot of thinking.
I was doing a lot of sleeping.
Couldn't this have waited until tomorrow?
- I'm going to the moon.
- The moon?
Are you crazy?
A fly can't make it to the moon.
We can if we hitch a ride.
Wait a minute. What's this "we" stuff?
Guys, we've watched a ton of these flights.
They only last a few minutes.
We'll be back before anyone misses us.
Oh, gosh, I don't know.
The odds of making it are...
Where's your sense of adventure?
We're always talking about
taking a road trip.
Yeah, road trip. Earth. Terra firma.
Is that a dessert?
Oh, just forget it, then.
You don't want to go? I'll go myself.
He's crazy, sleep-deprived.
Nat, wait!
What... What are you doing? Let him go.
Okay.
Don't do it.
I'm in.
You did it.
What?
Oh, no. You guys don't need me to go.
No way.
- We need you.
- Come on, Scooter. We're a team!
You guys, this is not good.
I've got heartburn just thinking about it.
Scooter!
All right. All right, I'm in.
Adventure forever!
Dreamers get swatted? Never!
All right, first thing we have to do
is finish the space suits.
- Can we get them done by tomorrow?
- Yeah, if I don't sleep.
Kind of late
to be wandering around, isn't it?
I was just getting some fresh air, was all.
Really? Gee,
I can smell wood burning a mile away.
Maybe there's a fire at the dump, then.
I'm talking up here.
I'd say the gears are turning pretty hard.
You want to tell your Grandpa
what's going on?
So, tell your old Grandpa
what's on your mind,
because I know something is.
I want to do something special, Grandpa.
I want to have a big adventure like you.
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
You know, I'm all for adventure.
Nothing better than
being out there, taking risks,
having that excitement
pumping through you.
Yeah! You can't beat it.
But I'll tell you something.
Sometimes, you gotta know
that maybe you're just not ready
for the big adventure.
I bet you never waited for adventure.
You're right about that.
But, well, I have come up short.
What do you mean "short"?
Well, as a matter of fact,
you talking about the moon tonight
reminded me of the time
I got my first taste of coming up short.
The humans over at NASA
were sending a monkey into space.
Just a handful of years ago,
I was planning on hitching a ride.
I was gonna be the first fly
to go into space.
You actually went into space?
No, not exactly.
Darn scientist knocked me clean
off the monkey's head.
Before I knew what hit
me, they were gone!
I had missed my shot,
my trip into space.
Yeah, kind of knocked me back to Earth,
in a manner of speaking.
I guess somebody was reminding me
I'm an old fly.
Ever since then, well, I began thinking
maybe I should start acting my age.
Your time will come, little one.
Wait and see.
Your time will come.
How'd we make out with the space suits?
Great. Okay, you guys, this is it.
Mikey's house is our ticket to the moon.
I sure hope it's a round-trip ticket.
I need some breakfast.
Okay, we split up,
and when the time is right,
we get into the lunch pail.
- Okay. Let's do it.
- I can't wait to get in there.
- Scooter! IQ's been hit!
- What? Where is he?
IQ, get up! Move!
No!
- You okay?
- You guys are gonna give me a heart attack.
- This is gonna be a crazy ride.
- Hurry! She's closing the lunch box!
- Thanks, Nat.
- Now we're talking. Breakfast.
Wow!
Moon, here we come.
- Morning, everybody. What's for breakfast?
- I made mold fritters. Where's Nat?
I thought he was down here already.
Wasn't in his bed.
Maggots, stop playing with your grease.
Nat, time for breakfast! Where is he?
He's not here. He left.
What do you mean, he left?
Where did he go?
Hi, everybody.
Has my Scooter been here this morning?
- I haven't seen him.
- Are the boys here?
Don't tell us. IQ's missing, too?
- Mommy! Mommy! They went to the moon!
- Not now. Mommy's talking.
They took a rocket to the moon, Mommy.
- What did you say, sweetheart?
- He said rocket! He clearly said rocket.
- I heard moon.
- What's today's date?
- Please, not now, Dad.
- Of course!
Of course what?
Today's the day the humans are
sending a man to the moon.
- Nat's going to the moon!
- Nat's going to the moon!
- Nat's going to the moon!
- Nat's going to the moon!
The heat from the rocket
could kill them!
I told IQ, "Never, ever, cross the fence."
Oh, my lord of the flies!
They are going to the moon!
Well, I'll be.
Hey, man. How's it going?
- Good, guys. Everything a-okay?
- Oh, yeah. Good to see you, Ben.
Big day, huh?
What if he doesn't open
his lunch pail?
Don't worry. He'll open it.
Humans love a second cup of coffee.
Just remember, when he does,
we get out of here pronto.
He'll be swatting at anything that moves.
Regroup on the nearest wall.
Okay. This is it, guys! Be alert.
Whoa, that was close.
- He almost got me!
- Where's Scooter?
I didn't see him.
There he is! What is he doing?
Scooter!
Oh, no. Scooter!
- What's up, guys?
- I thought that was you down there.
- Where?
- On the donut. Well, was on the donut.
You thought that fatso was me?
I'm insulted.
Nice fake-out, fly.
Okay, listen up. Phase one, complete.
Now, we find the astronauts.
This is Apollo launch control.
T minus 58 minutes, 55 seconds
and counting.
The countdown for Apollo 11 is still
going very satisfactorily at this time.
In most cases, we're a matter of five or ten
minutes ahead of countdown procedures.
Look at all the people here!
How will we ever find them?
If something happens to Nat,
I'll never forgive myself.
Me, too!
Look, gals, I know you're all worried,
but you gotta cut them some slack.
They need adventure in their lives.
Builds character!
So, dry up those tears,
'cause your boys are about to make history.
Ah, women!
Special thanks to SergeiK.