Funny Games Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Funny Games script is here for all you fans of the Naomi Watts and Tim Roth movie from Michael Haneke. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Funny Games quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

Funny Games Script




Bjorling is easy.


You win.
My turn.

- No looking.
I'm not.

Did Daddy look?


You sure?


Oh. God.


Of course. but what?

Well? Darling?

I'd say HandeI.

Right. But what is it?

Not a clue.

I give up. What is it?

Three-two to me.

Hey. hands off.
Hey. no. Just- Just listen.

Hey! That's not fair.


Practicing's not fair.

You're still on for 10 tomorrow. right?

You're still coming?

Uh. yeah. sure.

We have to launch the boat.

Can you give us a hand.
in about 20 minutes?

Yeah. sure. Yeah. I'll be there.
I'll come over in 20 minutes.

Okay. great. See you then.


What was up with him?

Don't know.

Seems weird.

She didn't say a word.

Who did you talk to
about the game tomorrow?

With her.

- When?
- Day before yesterday.

- And?
- Nothing. she was fine.

Where's Jenny?

I don't know. sweetheart.
Maybe she's at the beach or inside.

- Who were those guys?
- Don't know.

Maybe relatives.
Doesn't her brother have a son that age?

Don't put that there.
Take your stuff upstairs. please.


Keep the doorway clear
or someone's gonna trip.

We have a lot more in the car.

Hey. are you listening to me?

I'm going. already.

Open the windows. please.
We need to let some air in.

Yeah. Mom.

Get out. Lucky. Out.

Come on. get down.

Come on.


Where are the other groceries?

I'll get it.

Golf clubs were in the way.

Hurry up. everything's getting warm.

This cooler's a piece of shit.

Stop it. buddy.

You'll knock me over.

Go to Mommy. go on. go to Mommy.
She'll give you a treat.

The meat's in the other box.
Will you grab it for me?

I'm just opening the windows.

Leave the shutters in the front.
it'll get too hot.

Lucky. come on. Honey. get out.

Will you-? Come on.
I'll get you something in a minute.

Lucky. please.
Will you call the dog. honey?

Lucky. get out of here.

- Call the dog.

Go on. honey.

Come here. come to Daddy.

Stop it. Lucky. Be quiet.

I'm sorry. He's-

He's nuts. Come in.

Hey there. Fred. Good to see you.

Thanks for helping.
It'd be pretty hard on my own.

No problem. This is PauI.

- Pleasure to meet you.
- Pleasure.

PauI's father
is a business associate of mine.

Thanks for helping.

No. the pleasure's all mine.
Not so much his.

Lucky. come on.
- Sorry. he's crazy.

Stop it!

Hey! Come over here!
- Thank you. honey.

So when did you get here?

- Last week.
- You too?

- No.
- Yes.

Well. they didn't get here till
the weekend. We got here on Friday.

Hi. Fred. Thanks for coming right over.

It's good to see you. How's Eve?


- Hello.
- Pleasure to meet you. ma'am.

And where are the Keys?
Got it?

On the southern coast of Florida.

Isn't it hotter down there?


It ain't all the time.

Last year when I was in Miami
it rained cats and dogs the whole time.

And you were up here and you were
swimming every day, remember?

Still. it sucks that Jenny isn't here.
It's boring without-


I am being carefuI.

That was an expensive overhauI.

See? Not a single scratch.

Well. now you can help me
put up the boom.

You got it?


- Put it down over there.
- Okay.

But she told me
she'd be here the whole time.

Yeah. well. I don't know either.
I don't know why she told you that.

Maybe she went out with a friend.

We'll ask her mother tomorrow
when we see her.

forecast for tomorrow is wind.

Why was Uncle Fred
behaving so strangely?

Well. I'm not surprised.

She got pretty worked up about it
last time.

Come on. just forget about it.
She's not gonna change.

Yeah. well.
you're only gonna upset yourself.

Exactly. That's what I'm saying.

Oh. they're great.
They're outside playing on the boat.


I don't know. 5. 5:30.

My kitchen clock's not working.
so I have to get that fixed on Monday.

Yeah. exactly.
that's what I'm doing right now.

We're having steak.

It all defrosted.
so now I have to get rid of it.

You should come on out.

Yeah. that was stupid of me.

I froze 4 pounds of steak... I'm standing here
looking at half a cow.

I'm not joking. Come on out. please.
just for the weekend.

Well. tell him not to be so difficult.

Hold on a second.

- What is it. honey?
- We need a sharp knife.


- I'd like to see it again.
- Okay.

- Tell your father.
- Okay.

So. what do you think?

Well. tell your sweetheart
to bring his laptop with him.

Jump in the car.
and you'll be here in an hour.

Well. he shouldn't be so antisociaI.

Come on. we've got enough steak
for the whole week.

What is it? Hold on. Okay.

All right. Well. listen. just call me
and let me know. all right?

Okay. all right. Nancy.

- Bye.

What now. honey?

- There's someone here.
- Where?

At the door.

- Hello.

Sorry to disturb you. I'm staying
next door. I saw you earlier at the gate.

Oh. yeah. of course.

Please. come in.

So how can I help you?

Tell your dad we're eating
in 10 minutes.


Well. Eve s-

I mean. Mrs. Thompson sent me.

She's cooking and she ran out of eggs
and asked if you could help her out.

Of course. How many does she need?



What for?

- Excuse me?
- What for?

What does she need the eggs for?
I mean. what's she cooking?

I have no idea.

So are they okay just like this
or do you need the carton?

Whatever you want.

How did you get in here?

Down there.

I mean. down by the water.

But you're not wet.

There's a hole in the fence.
By the water. not in the water.

Fred sh- I mean. Mr. Thompson.
knows about it. He showed it to me.

Oh. I see.

So you sure they're okay like this?

Yeah. yeah. That's okay. No problem.

- Thank you very much. Thank you.
- All right.

Say hello to Eve. Tell her we're
looking forward to the game tomorrow.

I'll tell her. Thanks again.

Thanks to Fred and your friend for help-

- What happened?

It's not a disaster.

We have to go grocery shopping
on Monday anyway.

I'm really sorry.

It's not so bad. None of us eat eggs
for breakfast anyway.

So the disaster's under controI.

Well. thank you. I'm sorry.
I should have paid more attention.

Well. you shouldn't cry
over spilt milk. right?

You're really nice.

You do what you can.

I really am sorry.

I'm very clumsy. you know?
I think I have two left hands.

- Then you're the man for carrying eggs.
- Yes. you could say that.

So. what are we going to do now?

Well. we have a lot of steak.
but we might be expecting guests...

...and they definitely eat eggs
for breakfast.

You'll still have four left.

It's a box with a dozen. isn't it?
Or am I mistaken?

No. you're not mistaken.

So would you like the carton this time?

- It's not necessary.
- Are you sure?

But if you insist.

If I insist?

Well. it might be better. I guess.

- Oh. God.
- What?

Oh. no.

I'm sorry.

Before you destroy
the rest of the kitchen...

...maybe you should take the eggs
and leave. All right?


No carton?

I'm really sorry. Honestly.

Me too.

Here you go.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

I'll tell Mrs. Thompson
how nice you were.

Do what you have to do.

Have a nice day.

Excuse me?

Lucky. Lucky. Get down.
Come on. come on. stop that.

Get out of here. Go on. get lost.

I'm sorry. He's completely harmless.
He just wants to play.

That's a strange way to play.

- Did he hurt you?
- Peter is afraid of dogs.

Oh. I'm sorry.

Me too. He jumped on me.

- I'm really sorry.
- Yeah.

- Should I lock him up so you can leave?
- That won't be necessary.

- I can call my husband.
- It's not gonna be necessary.

It's my fault.
I completely forgot about the dog.

I should've come myself and...


That's a really great set of clubs.

It's Callaway. right?


These are wonderfuI. May I?

I guess we don't
stand a chance tomorrow. do we?

The club doesn't make the player.

That's true.

Would you mind if I tried this?

Just once. please? ReaI quick.

Outside. Please? Yes?

I'll hit it towards the bay. Yes?

If it makes you happy.

Thank you.

Thanks a lot. Really.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

He loves golf. We both do.

- Excuse me?
- We both do. We both love golf.


Lucky. Be quiet.

- What's the matter with him?
I don't know.

It's probably too hot for him too.

I'll take a look.

It's wonderfuI. It really
makes a difference. like night and day.

Thanks a lot.



Where's Tom?
- Who?

Did you give him the eggs?

Excuse me?

Driver's really first class.
You have to try it.

Listen. young man. I don't know
what kind of game you're playing...

...but I don't wanna be a part of it.

Would you please leave now?

What game?

I'm sorry. ma'am. but I don't understand
why you're suddenly being so unfriendly.

- Did Tom or I do anything to upset you?
Please leave.

Did you misbehave while I was outside?
Was he rude?

- Did he say something that-?
- Stop it.

I've asked you nicely to leave.
Now I'd like you to go.


I don't understand what's upset you.
but if you insist.

Just give Tom the eggs.
and we won't bother you anymore.

Excuse me?

We'll have to tell Eve and Fred. Nothing
like this has happened to me before.

What about you?

- Can you just give us the eggs. please?
- No.

How dare you.

Please just go. Right now.

Did I do something wrong?

I asked you to leave. I want you to go.

Have you seen the dog? Is he with you?

- Will you throw them out?
- It's good you're here. Mr. Farber.

- That's your name. isn't it? Farber?
- Yes.

Yeah. Fre- Mr. Thompson told us.

- What's going on?
- I want them to leave.

Your wife's under the wrong impression.
I'm happy you're here.

I'm certain you can
figure out this misunderstanding.

- George. please.
- Dad. I can't-

Just go. Please. go.

Hey. Ann.

This is ridiculous. I can't believe this.

- Honey. do you mind...?
- No. he's fine.

- May I please explain what happened?
- Please do.

Mrs. Thompson sent me over
to ask for some eggs. and then-

Your wife gave Peter the eggs.
but. unfortunately. they broke.

And then she gave me
another four eggs...

...but the dog jumped on me.
and now...

You had a dozen and you're going
shopping on Monday anyway.

We just want the eggs. that's all.

Ann. can you tell me
what's going on here?

Honey. can you just tell
me what's going on?

Just give them to them.

- Can I have them now?
- Hold on a moment.

Ann. if it's just about some eggs.
why are you so angry?

Look. I'm not going
to justify myself in front-

I asked you to throw them out.
Maybe I have my reasons.

Do what you want. I've had enough.


I'm sorry.

My wife's not feeling well. so...


Could you please leave?

I can hardly play the mediator
if I don't know the facts. now. can I?

So could you just leave. please?

Please. the...

- What?
- Just give them to him.

- What the hell is going on here?
- Nothing's going on. sir.

He asked for the eggs.
the dog attacked him. they broke.

Now he would like some more.
What is so difficult to understand?

You better watch your tone.
young man.

You better be carefuI. old man.
or I'll break your eggs.

Now. please leave. right now.

Mr. Farber?
- What?


Is it broken?

Hey. hey. come on. come on.
come on.

Hey. Come on. Behave yourself.

Behave yourself. okay?

Okay? I don't want to hurt you... you have to behave yourself.

- What is it. baby?

Please. just. ma'am.
stay where you are. okay?

Please. stay.

- He slapped me in the face.
- Yeah. he started it.

You can help him.
just don't do anything stupid. Help him.

- You should bring him a chair.
What happened?

It's my knee.

You should take off his pants.
He should sit. Bring him a chair.

Go get him a chair. honey.

Be carefuI.

Peter is a- He's a medicaI student.
He can help you with it.

Can you please take off your pants?

If you don't let me see
your wound. I can't help you.

I'm sorry I hurt you.
but you forced me to. you must admit.

Come on. Mr. Farber.
be reasonable. Let him look at your leg.

He can help you with it.

Would you please...



We won't get anywhere like this.

You have to let him help you.
you don't really have a choice.

You're the ship's captain. sir.

You're aware that onboard.
the captain's word is law. aren't you?

So. what do you want to do?

You want to call someone?

An ambulance or the police?

I won't stop you.

Neither will Tom. Right. Tom?

Well. what are you waiting for?

He dropped the cell phone in the sink.

- Why are you doing this?
Why not?

Okay. let's play another game.

It's a guessing game.

What is this?


It's a golf ball.

Correct. It's a golf ball.

But why do I have it in my pocket?

Hm? The lady knows why.




Because you didn't hit it.

Correct. Because I didn't hit it.
And why didn't I hit it?

Because something stopped you.

Correct. Because I had
to test the club in another way.

Where is he?


Even colder.


Ice cold.



Little cold.







Warm. cold.


Really warm.

Would you please go to the kitchen
and get me something to eat?

That be possible?

Maybe there's some bananas or...

Please don't think about bringing back
a knife or anything like that...

...or I'd be sorry.

For you. I mean.

It's getting cloudy.

That's very nice of you. thank you.







Hi. sweetie.

Where are you?

Come on down to the water.

We're both thinking the same thing.
aren't we?


We saw your boat.

Hi. Betsy.

Hi. Robert.

When did you get here?


We're still unpacking.

How long you staying?

Probably a week or two.
We're not sure yet.

Oh. wonderfuI. So nice to see you.

Let me help you.
Thank you.

- Have you ever met my sister-in-law?

Pleased to meet you.

Hello. nice to meet you too.

Hello. Hi. Robert.

Hi. how are you?

This is PauI. He's staying
with the Thompsons next door.

- Hi. pleased to meet you.
- Hi. PauI. You cold?

- Oh. no. I have- I have eczema.
- Oh.

You should go swimming.
the water works wonders for that here.

Thank you. that's good advice.

- Hello. pleased to meet you.
- Hello.

How's George?

Fine. thanks.

Where is he?

He pulled a muscle putting up the mast.
so he's Iying down. resting.

So sorry to hear that. That's what
happens when you try to do too much.

Robert. on the other hand.
would never dream of launching a boat.

Right. Robert?

Tell your hubby to get better.
we're grilling every night.

I'll tell him.

I mean it. as soon as he's better.
swing by. Robert's son is here.

He brought his little girlfriend.
He'd like her for sure.

All right. Well. listen.
it's great to see you. darling.

Listen. if the weather stays like this.
you'll probably have to take the car.

- It's supposed to be windy.
- For tomorrow-

Where's your dock?
- Excuse me?

Your dock?

Oh. it's just around the peninsula.
but on the other side.

The old cottage. with the red dock?


It's very beautifuI.

Well. thank you. we enjoy it.

Well. anyway. it's good to see you.
All right. goodbye.

So you're here all week?

Well. this week for sure.

Maybe we'll come by tonight.

Oh. do. you know we love seeing you.

All right.
We'll see how George is doing.

Yeah. see how he is.


- Bye.
- Bye.

They'll be here in two hours...

...and then this little charade of yours
will be over.

Sorry. but that's not exactly true.

Didn't you ask your friends to call
and confirm...

...or did I misunderstand something?

They'll come.
even if they can't reach us.

Is Iying allowed?

Just a second.
Wait. let me move this out of the way.

Why don't you have a landline?
Don't you find it convenient?

Or is it
that you aren't out here that much?

Please. have a seat.

You know you can be completely
open with us. You'd feeI better.

We're being completely open with you.

Right there.

You should put a pillow under him.

You know. if you'd let Peter
help you. it would hurt less.

I'm happy to help. really.
I just don't want to impose.

CarefuI with...

That's a good idea. put it up.
That should be more comfortable.

So there we are.

- You sure you don't wanna put a pillow-?
- Could you please stop this?

You're asking?


You said. "Please. "

I'm very happy about this.

It's easier when things are polite.

I'd like to apologize for before.

But you have to admit. George.
the slap in the face?

It really wasn't
the most appropriate reaction.

I'm PauI.

This is Peter.

Come here. Tom. Where are
your manners? Shake the man's hand.

Here. take this for the pain.

What's this now?
What. are we shit to you?

What. didn't we just agree that...?

Jesus Christ!

It's okay. It's okay.

Stop it now.
otherwise your mother will get hurt.

Stop it! Do you understand?
Do you understand?!

Calm down.

Calm down.

So much stress for politeness' sake.

I mean. I was just trying to be friendly.

Improve relations.
I thought we could keep this civilized.

Why are you doing this?

Tubby. why are we doing this?

Go on. say it.

I don't know.

The captain would like to know why.


It's difficult to talk about it.

Don't be shy.

You know exactly how hard
this is for me.

Jesus. what a drama.

His father divorced his mother when
he was this big. for another woman-

It's not true! He's Iying.

My mother got a divorce because-

Because she wanted her
little teddy bear all to herself.

Which is why he's gay.
and he's a criminaI. got it?

You're an asshole.

The truth is...

...he's white trash. He comes
from a filthy. deprived family.

Five siblings. all of them on drugs.

His father is an alcoholic.

His mother. well. I mean.
you can imagine.

Truth is...

...he's fucking her.

It's sad. but it's true.

Come on. Calm down now. Tubby.

Stop it.

You're disgusting.

Can't you at least watch your language
in front of my son?

Oh. I'm...

I'm sorry.

Of course.

What would you like to hear?
What would make you happy?

None of what I said is true.
you know that as well as I do.

You think he's white trash?

Come on. he's a spoiled little brat.

He's jaded and disgusted
by the emptiness of existence.

It's hard.


He liked that. Look. now he's smiling.


You happy now.
or you want another version?

I'm hungry.

Let's see what there is.

Truth is...

...he's a drug addict.

That's where he's going to right now.

That's why he's so nervous.
I'm also a drug addict.

We rob rich families in their charming
vacation homes to support our habit.

- Mm-hm.
Stop this bullshit.

- I get it. Isn't that enough?
That's good.

Hey. Tubby. he's got it.
He gets it.

That's awesome. really.
Really. Listen...

Peter. come here.

Listen. we're gonna
make a bet now. okay?

Come on. hurry up.

- Sit down.
It's dark in here.

Come on. don't fall asleep.

Okay. we bet- What time is it?


- that in. let's say. 12 hours...

...all three of you...

...are gonna be kaput.



You bet
that you'll be alive tomorrow at 9:00...

...and we bet
that you'll be dead. okay?

They don't wanna bet.

Well. it's not an option.
There has to be a bet.

I mean. what do you think?
You think they stand a chance?

You're on their side. aren't you?
Who are you betting on. hm?

But. wait. what kind of bet is this?
If they're dead...

...they can't live up to their side.
and if they win. they can't live. either.

Yes. they'll lose either way.
that's what I'm saying.

Stop this nonsense.
Are you trying to scare us?

Haven't you done enough already?

What do you want? You want money?
Well. take it. I'll tell you what.

Take what you want. just get out.


Don't you think Fred and Eve are going
to come over and see what's happening?

And then they're gonna give us
a thorough spanking. right?


So the bet is on.

Like they say on TV:

Let's make a deaI.

So. what do you want to do now?

Would you be so kind as to go
and make us something to eat?


...I'm worried about you.
Can you controI yourself?

You just finished stuffing your face
with that meat.

It's disgusting.
What are these people going to think?

I haven't had anything since noon.
Stop calling me "Tubby" all the time.

- Okay. Tom.
- Okay. Jerry.

Okay. well.
I think you should watch your figure.

Do you think that that's attractive?

Look at the captain's wife.
You think she thinks you're hot?

- With these jelly rolls?
- Stop it.

- Do you like having that?
- Stop it.

Look at her. she's not that old.

Pardon me. ma'am. You would be
completely acceptable to her...

...if it wasn't for that body.

You should follow her lead.

Now. that is a well-toned body.

There's not an extra calorie on it.

I'm not so sure.


Did you hear that?

Tubby. that's really rude.
Are we gonna take that. ma'am?

- Oh. no.
- Hey.

Indian. You.

What's your name anyway?


George? Just like Daddy.

That's really sweet.

Come here. Georgie.

Come here.

Come here.

Come on.
we're gonna play a game now.

Leave him alone.

I know you don't want to play with me.
but it's a really awesome game.

- It's a fun game. trust me.
Leave the boy alone.

You see how your mom fights for you?

- Your daddy could learn from her.
Stop it.

That's why
we're gonna let her play too.

Tubby. take Georgie for a second.

You see. this is an awesome game.
It's called Cat in a Bag.

It's really fun. Here we go.

Don't panic. Nothing's going to happen.
I said it was a fun game.

It's a family game. Daddy can play. too.
so he doesn't get bored.

Hey. Georgie. It's no fun
if you keep moving around. okay?

Hey! Listen to me.

That's better.

Now. listen. we're a team now.
aren't we?

Does the cover bother you?

Are you getting enough air?

Are you?

- Georgie? Are you?


Now we can start.

If I remember correctly. Mommy
and our little Indian wanted to sneak off.

Now. why was that?
Tubby. why was that?

I don't know.

Is Iying allowed? What kind of
example are you setting for these people?

Tubby. you know exactly
why she wanted to leave.

Because you started talking
about her jelly rolls.

You're the one
who's doubted her perfection.

Whatever. it doesn't matter.

...I understand why she was
embarrassed in front of the boy here.

That's why we're playing
Cat in the Bag.

To preserve moraI decency.

Now the kid is in the bag.

Now let's see if Mommy's titties sag.

We don't want to hurt
the kitty-cat. right?

Leave him alone.

Exactly. Daddy would like to play too.

Oh. God.

What are we waiting for?

Tell your wife not to be shy.

It's silly.
I'm sure she doesn't have jelly rolls.

Please. leave him alone.

You just have to tell her
to take off her clothes.


"Take off your clothes. honey. "

Take off your clothes.

"Take off your clothes. honey. "

Take off your clothes. honey.


What did I say? No jelly rolls.

And now we can get dressed again.
Thank you.

Gross. Tubby. come here.
Take this piglet.

He's not even house broken yet.

- Go change his diaper.
- I'll take him.

It's okay.
I'm not doing anything to him.

Let go of him!


Have a seat.

Have a seat.

I would advise you not to kick.

I hope you don't get bored with him.

If you do.
dump a bucket of water on his head.

But be carefuI. don't ruin the carpet.

No. it's just a joke.

I have to take my SATs again
in the fall...

...and then I'll go to college
and study business.

Does it hurt badly?

Why don't you just kill us?

You shouldn't forget the importance
of entertainment.

I'm sorry about the leg. but it's
really your own fault. if I may say so.

I mean. why did you slap PauI?

And the pointless begging for the eggs
was pretty uncomfortable for me.

Degrading. actually.

I don't know if that's clear to you.

If you think about it. all of this.
just for a carton of eggs.

In fact. they must still be there.

Besides. you should've
listened to your wife.

She practically begged you
to let us leave with the eggs.

But then. of course.
everyone's always smarter in hindsight.

Here they are.

One is cracked. but not bad.

These egg cartons can really
take a lot. considering.

Why are you doing that?
How stupid do you think I am?

I don't understand.
what are you thinking?

You're practically forcing me
to treat you badly.

Shit! Now you've really done it.

And PauI specifically told us
to be carefuI with the carpet.

Please. just let us go.

Look. you have everything
ahead of you. you're still so young.

Nothing's really happened yet.

We can just say George's leg
broke on the boat.

Everyone will believe us.
I promise you.

- Please. don't do this.
- Please. just...

Why are you degrading yourself?
This is as painfuI for me as it is for you.


Where are you?


I'm coming.

Wait a second.
I'm gonna play a little music for us.

- Hi. Georgie.
- Don't come any closer.

Cock it.

Pull the handle back.

Pull the trigger.

- instead,
urged compromise and said emotions-

- to the museum.
- Oh.

You were great!

- a good rehearsal.

Damage is mostly along the coast.
The tide in some spots-

- his second win
at Talladega Superspeedway.

And trying to do what he has to do
to win the championship.

And that means he really needs
to win this race and Iowa...

...and he needs to see Frank Kimble
finish out of the top 26.

That's all he can do.

He does. You had it figured earlier.

It can happen.
He knows what he has to do.

He sat on the pole.
He has to win here...

...then go into Iowa
and give it everything he's got.

Bobby Gerhart put so much effort
into Superspeedway...

Honey. I'm home.


What is it. baby?
You're okay. aren't you? Aren't you?

They killed Jenny.

Hey. Beavis.
Hey. Butt-Head.

Everything under controI?
Looks that way.


May I?

Please. be my guest.

I'm sure you're wondering. captain.
where this hunting rifle came from.

Or does it look familiar?

Did you ever go hunting with Fred?

Can you believe that your darling
little boy just tried to kill me with this?

I know it's hard to believe.
but it's the truth...

...and nothing but the truth.
right. Georgie?

- What do you think about that. Tom?
- That's bad.

What time is it?

After 11.

I think we should think about
winning our bet. don't you?

In fact. we should be very gratefuI
to little Georgie here...

...for helping us out so much.

One for Beavis.

One for Butt-Head.


Eenie, meenie, minie, mo
Catch the tiger by the toe

If he hollers let him go
Eenie, meenie, minie, mo

You look really blue.

Tell me now. how old are you?

She doesn't wanna play.

How old do you think she is?

Thirty. 37?

No jelly rolls.

Let's be generous. let's say 35. okay?

You agree?

She agrees.

So who do you want to start with?

With her?


Now. I'll get something to eat.

One. two. three. four. five.
six. seven-

Does anyone want anything?


You're an idiot. Tubby.

You don't kill the person who's
counted out. you kill the one left over.

What's wrong with you?

He tried to run away.
So what?

That's no reason to get trigger-happy.

Don't you have any sense of timing?

What time is it?

Almost 12.

They're spent.

- Come on. let's get out of here.

Thanks for the driver.
I'm gonna put it back in the bag. okay?


- Okay. thanks. Have a nice evening.
See you.


Juan Montoya gave
a shove to Steve Wallace.

Wallace took over the point, Gerhart
dropped all the way back to ninth.

Blake Bjorklund throwing his name
into the hat as well.

As far as potential drivers
wanting to win here at Talladega...

...Pete Shepherd, another development
driver in the 39 for Roush Racing.

Jack Roush
actually made the comment:

"He reminds me
of a young Mark Martin. "

Pretty big impressive statement
from Jack Roush. Bob Dillner.

You never know
what's gonna happen on pit road.

Pretty funny. Just a second ago,
Brad Parrott ran down here.

You see him right now.
He's in the 61 pit stall...

...and that's because
those two are working together.

In fact, Juan Montoya
came over the radio and said:

"I am going to stick to the back bumper
of the 61 like glue...

...until the white flag. "

So Brad Parrott ran down here
to the crew just to explain things...

...and apparently stayed there
just to hang out a little bit.

Well, wait a second,
you can't tell your strategy... the guy you're racing against.

Well, they're saying that now.

If the cars get shuffled, that outside line
gets running, they could get busted up.

Juan on the radio minutes ago,
talking to his father, saying:

"Where do I go? The high side,
the low side? What line do I get in?"

Nobody said nothing.

They've gone.

Do you hear that?

They're gone.

I'II- I'll get a knife.

Calm down.

Just breathe. Please. just breathe.

Please. breathe.

Breathe. breathe.

We gotta get out of here.

They may come back.


We need to go.


Can you walk?

- I'll help you.
- I'll try.

What is it?



Let's go. Please. let's go.

It's locked.

We'll have to go through the window.

Oh. God.

George. please. please.

I can't. baby. I can't.

Come on. Come on.

You go.

You go. Okay?

If they locked the door.
they probably locked the gate too.

You're right.

Take the pliers. okay?

Cut through the fence.

Be carefuI when you get to the street.
they might be waiting. okay?

Where are the pliers?


They're in the kitchen. I think.

No. In the greenhouse.

Hon. please. you got to get dressed.
don't you?

Put some shoes on
because you might have to run.

I can't leave you here. no.

Just go. We're losing time.

No. wait. the bag's here.
The bag's here. so...

I'll hide in the cellar.

Okay? I'll wait for you.

How will you get down there?

I don't know.

- Fuck.
- I'll manage. though.

Please. just go.


George. it's working.

- What?
- It must have dried. It's working again.

Call someone.

- Who?
- The police.


It isn't ringing.

Let me listen.

It's probably still wet.

There's a signaI.

Wait a minute.

Where's yours?

It's in the fucking car.


Get the hair dryer. That might work.


- I need a chair.
- Oh. God.

I'm sorry.

It's not working. honey.

Forget it.

Forget it.

Maybe it just doesn't work.

We're wasting time.

Just pull me over in the chair. I'll try.


You got to go now.


Shit. sorry.

You gotta go.

- Go. now.
- Okay.



Please forgive me.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

You run. okay?

Just run.



Help me!



Can you hear me?
This is George Farber.

I live at 55 Neck Lane... the head of the harbor.

They killed my son.

Can you hear me?


Hello? I just called.

Hey! Hey!



Player one. leveI two.

Damn it.

Good morning. captain.

Good morning.

Eenie, meenie, minie, mo

- Catch a tiger by the toe
They'll be here any minute.

Then we'd better hurry. right. Beavis?
Eenie, meenie, minie, mo

How old did we say? 37?

Okay. 35.

- Why won't you believe me?
One. two. three...

It's a good thing the charger's
in the car.

- nine. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15-

If it's her age.
you have to start with her.


Because those are the rules. blockhead.

Okay. well. I'll start with her. then.

The battery wasn't dead yet.

One. two. three. four...
Yeah. I know.

It's time to think of something new.
The lady tried that this afternoon.

- Count faster. Beavis.
Eleven. 12. 13. 14...

I mean.
how primitive do you think we are?

It's not a bet if there's nothing at stake.
right. captain?

I mean. even you need a chance.

The wind blows where it wants to.
That's why sailing is fun.

Twenty-nine. 30. 31. 32...
Right. isn't it?

...33. 34. 35.

Now. don't make
the same mistake twice.

It's not the person counted out.
it's the one left over.

Wait a minute.

I see a new toy.

I think we have the lady
to thank for this.

This is gonna make things
a little bit more interesting.

It's boring when mutes suffer.

We want to entertain our audience.

Show them what we can do.

You're allowed to play another game.

The name of this game
is The Loving Wife.

Otherwise known as:

Whether by Knife
or Whether by Gun...

...Losing Your Life
Can Sometimes Be Fun.

Come on. don't fall asleep.

You have to play.
otherwise I have to gag you again...

...and you don't like that. do you?

So the rules of this game are...

...Georgie Sr. is counted out. okay?

He's up next.
There's nothing to be done about it...

...unless you wanna jump in for him.
Do you?

Do you? Beavis is not gonna mind.
Right. Tubby?

Don't call me Tubby.
- See. he doesn't mind.

Just get on with it. this is enough.
- Enough?

You really think it's enough?
What about you. Ann?

Do you think it's enough.
or you wanna keep playing?

Don't answer. Let them do
what they want. it'll be over faster.

Oh. come on.

Stop being such a coward.

Do you think it's enough?
I mean. you want a reaI ending. right?

With plausible plot development.
don't you?

The bet is still on.
You can't canceI it by yourself.

So the name of the game
is The Loving Wife.

Now. although Beavis
is already finished counting...

...Ann can decide who's up next...

...and with which device.

Which do you prefer?

The little knife or the big gun?

What's the housewife's choice?

You have to admit. Ann...

...I'm being very generous here.

You can prove to your pussy husband
how much you love him.

And between friends.
it barely costs you anything.

Doesn't really matter
if you crap out now or later.


Hello! Wake up!
What. you're not interested?

You don't want to play anymore? Beavis.
show her how the game is played. Here.

Watch out.

- I almost cut myself.

Come on. come on. sit down.
sit down. sit down.

That's the little knife.

Ann. you can spare him the pain.

You just- You have to play with us.

Everything's gonna be fine.

- What do you want me to do?
You see. wasn't so difficult.



Say a prayer.

Any one you want.

If you can say it
without any mistakes...

...then God is on your side...

...and you get to choose
what happens next.


Okay? Or should we continue
with Georgie Sr.?

I don't know any prayers.

You don't know any prayers?

Not even one?

Is that possible?
Where the-? Where the hell are we?

- Tubby. tell her one.
- Stop calling me "Tubby" all the time.

Okay. fine.

Tell her one.

I love you, God, with all my might
Keep me safe all through the night

- That's too short.
I don't know any others.


I love you, God, with all my might
Keep me safe all through the night

I love you, God, with all my might-

No. you can't say it like that.
It's a prayer. Ann.

You can't just drone on like that.
You're asking the Lord for something... pray properly.

Come on. get down on your knees.

Yeah. kneeI properly.
Put your hands together. That's good.

Not on your stomach.

Where's the person you're praying to. hm?
Up there. right? So. pray up there.

Now. Ann...

...from the bottom of your heart. pray.

- Beavis. can you help me out here?
- No!

Oh. God. I love you. God.
with all my might.

Please. keep me safe
all through the night. please.


That was fantastic.

Okay. that was the test run. Now
we're gonna go for the Olympic Gold.

If you can say this...

...little. unfortunately.
much too short of a prayer backwards...

...with no mistakes...

...not only will you be able to decide
which one of you bites it first...

...but also- And I'm sure this
is gonna interest you more.

- with which device...

...whether it's the fast
and almost painless big gun...

...or the slow. drawn-out-

Look out!


Where's the remote controI?
Where's the fucking remote controI?

Okay. that was the test run.

Now we're gonna go
for the Olympic Gold.

If you can say this...

...little. unfortunately.
much too short of a prayer backwards...

...with no mistakes...

...not only will you be able to decide
which one of you bites it first...

...but also- And I'm sure
this is gonna interest you even more.

- with which device...

...whether it's the fast
and almost painless big gun...

...or the slow. drawn-out-

You shouldn't have done that. Ann.

You're not allowed to break the rules.

I'm sorry.

You failed.

Say goodbye to Georgie.

Would you please take a seat?

Give me your gloves.

So everything
is its mirror image.

But. of course. all these predictions
are lies to avoid panic.

Now Kelvin knows what's going on.

He wants to warn his wife
and daughter in time.

The problem isn't only
how to escape the anti-materiaI world...

...but also how to communicate
between the two worlds.

- Finally there's a gap-
- Look.

Now. that is what I call Olympic spirit.

Hey. Tubby. be carefuI. Jesus.

Didn't you say you couldn't swim?

Bring the widow over here.
otherwise she's gonna get lonely.

Oh. wait. Wait. wait. wait.


Help me here. please.
It's difficult. you might get hurt.

- So where was I?
- There we go.

You were...

You were discussing the difference
between communicating...

...between the materiaI universe
and the anti-materiaI universe. right?

It's like you're inside of a black hole.

The gravitationaI force
is so great that nothing...

...absolutely nothing can escape. which
means absolutely no communication.

- But Kelvin has this-
- What time is it?

- What?
- What's the time?

After 8.


Why? The deadline was 9.
She had almost another hour.

Well. it's too difficult to saiI like this...

...first of all.

Second of all...

- ... I'm getting kind of hungry.
- That's true.

And when he overcomes
the gravitationaI forces... turns out that one universe
is reaI and the other one is fiction.


How do I know? It's a kind of
modeI projection in cyberspace.

Okay. so where's your hero now?
Is he in reality or is he in fiction?

His family's in reality.
and he's in fiction.

- But isn't fiction reaI?
- Why?

Well. you can see it in the movie.

Of course.

Well. then it's just as reaI as reality...

...because you can see it too. right?




Is anyone there?




Who's there?

Good morning. I'm sorry
to bother you so early. ma'am.

Ann sent me.


You don't remember me. do you?

We met yesterday. at the dock.

- PauI.
- Oh. yes.

- Good morning.
- Morning.

Ann sent me over because...

Some guests dropped by...

...and she was wondering if you
could help her out with some eggs.

Well. I guess so.

- It's okay?
- Yeah. come on in. Just wait a second.


Special thanks to SergeiK.