Rush Hour 3 Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Rush Hour 3 script is here for all you fans of the Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Rush Hour 3 quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

Rush Hour 3 Script

 Bring out what's been in me 

 Far too long 

 And, uh... 

 That's all
I've been dreaming of 

 Do me, baby 

 Like you never done before 

 Ahh, ooh, give it to me 

 Till I just can't take no more 

 Come on, do me, baby,
like you never done before 

 Ahh, ooh, I want you, babe 

 Like I just can't take no more 

 Ooh, ahh 

 Hooh-ooh ooh! 



What the hell are you doing?

What the hell?!

I didn't tell you to go!

- It was him!
- That was you!

Shit! Oh, man!

Ain't nobody listenin' today.

Ladies, you just dented
a '81 Cutlass Supreme.

I need to see your license
and registration.

Brother, you OK? You cool?

Ten minutes.
Doors open on my signal.

I'm glad you're here, Lee.

I always feel better
with you watching my back.

I'm just doing my job,
Mr. Ambassador.

Stay close today, Lee.

We're making history.

This is bullshit!
Do you know who I am?

My family owns
half of Rodeo Drive.

Do you know who I am?

Detective James Carter, LAPD.

My family owns half of
Crenshaw Boulevard.

I want a lawyer.

You need a personal trainer.

This license says 180 pounds.

You weigh more than
the damn car, girl.

- I have a thyroid condition.
- Well, stop eating thyroids.

Look, can't you just,
like give us a warning or something?

That depends.
You girls like Chinese?

Excuse me.


Lee, we are on for tonight.

I just picked up two girls who wanna
play hide the little Asian policeman.

I can't talk now. I'm in the car
with Ambassador Han.

Trust me, these girls
are sushi grade.

- We gotta hit this!
- I have to go. I'm sorry.

You're still mad at me, aren't you?

You're mad because of what happened
when we was in New York.

I don't want to talk about that.

It was three years ago.
When you gonna let it go?

Let it go? Isabella was my girlfriend.

Lee, we're friends, man.

Just come out with me one night.

The mu shu's on me.



My mom says hi.

World Criminal Court

The Chinese triads now have
half a million members...

in over 100 countries.

And these are not street kids shaking down
local merchants.

These are businessmen who have built
a $50 billion empire...

of extortion, drugs,
sex and slavery.

We must cut off the head of this snake
before it swallows us whole.

As chairman of
the World Criminal Court...

I have entrusted my good friend
Ambassador Han to lead the fight...

against the largest criminal
organization in the world.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Chairman Reynard,
ladies and gentlemen.

The triad society
is built on secrecy.

Nobody knows who these men are,
who controls them, who leads them.

Nobody has known for 500 years.

But today, I stand before you
with a secret of my own.

Today, I will disclose information
that affects everyone in this room.

After years of searching,
I believe I've finally located Shy Shen.

Mr. Ambassador,
Shy Shen does not exist.

Excuse me, who is this Shy Shen?

With all due respect, sir, I le...

Everybody down!

Call an ambulance!

Someone get a doctor.

Ambassador down,
Ambassador down.

Stay with him.


Uh-uh-uh. Keepin' these
till I see you tonight.

Attention all units, shots have been fired
at the World Criminal Court building.

The Chinese Ambassador
has been shot.

Chinese Ambassador?
Move your asses over.

- Move over!
- What? Whoa. Shit!

What're you doing?!


- Where the hell is he goin'?
- Ah!

LAPD! Get the hell outta the way!

People are crazy.

I'm-a give your ass a ticket
when I come back!

Lee, I'm comin'!


Don't move!

Hello, Lee.

Don't move, Kenji.

Lee, what're you waiting for?
Shoot me!

Maybe this will help.

Drop the gun or I'll shoot!

I think we both know
that's not gonna happen.


You see?
I know you too well.


- Ugh!
- Aaaah!

- Ungh.
- Lee, you OK?

We almost killed your ass.
Why you didn't move?


I'd like for you to meet our dates
for this evenin'. Masha and Zoe.


Fat one's yours.

How many times
do you want me to say it? I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I ran you over, man. Damn!

- Not now, Carter.
- Aww.

All right, hold it right there.
Don't say a word, Carter.

Captain Diel, I had nothin'
to do with this.

All I did was borrow a car,
backed up Lee.

Tell him, partner.

I need to see Ambassador Han.

The Ambassador
is just out of surgery.

The bullet missed his heart.
He's gonna be OK.

Captain, you have to give me
back my shield...

and put me on this case.
I made one little mistake.

- Take a brother off the bench.
- One little mistake?

You handcuffed two women
and stole their car.

Isn't that why we have insurance?

Everyone has
an off day, Captain.

Last month you put
six Iranians in jail for a week!

You and I both know
them Iranians was terrorists.

They were scientists at UCLA!

Big deal.

'Cause they cure cancer in rats...

that doesn't mean
they won't blow shit up.

Let me find the person
who shot Ambassador Han.

Relax, Carter. The LAPD won't be leading
this investigation.

The Ambassador
is my responsibility.

Well, then maybe you could
tell me exactly how that shooter got away.

Thought so.

The Ambassador's daughter
is coming to see her father right now.

Make sure nothing happens to her.

Don't worry, Captain,
we're gonna make you proud.

And try not to think about
your wife leaving you.

She'll come back.

Soo Yung's here?

I haven't seen her
since she was ten years old.

She lives in Los Angeles now.

Let's go to the gift shop
and get her a little teddy bear.

And a bra.

- Lee!
- Soo Yung.

I'm so glad you're here.

- Detective Carter.
- Soo Yung.

- It's been so long.
- So long, Soo Yung.

So... So young.

- How is he?
- He's out of surgery.

They said he'll be OK.

Soo Yung, I'm sorry.

It was my fault.
I didn't get to him fast enough.

I want you both
to promise me something.

I want you to find the man
who did this to him.

I want you to find him because
I don't think he'll stop...

until my father is dead.

Soo Yung.

I need to hear you say it.

OK, I promise.

And so do I.

Thank you.

Soo Yung, your father was addressing
the court before he was shot.

Two weeks ago, my father
mailed me an envelope.

He said if anything ever
happened to him...

- I should give it to you.
- Where is it?

I put it in my locker
at the kung-fu studio where I teach.

It's at 8347 First Street...


Go home, Carter.
This has nothing to do with you.

I made Soo Yung a promise,
the same as you.

This is the business of China.

Well, for your information,
I'm part Chinese now.

That's right, Lee.
For the last three years I've studied...

the ancient teachings of Buddha,
earning two black belts...

in wushu martial arts,
spending every afternoon...

at the Hong Kong Garden massage parlour
on Pico and Bundy.

I am half-Chinese, baby.

If you're half-Chinese,
I'm half-black.

I'm your brother and I'm fly.
You down with that, Snoopy?

That's dope, isn't it?

Sorry, Lee, you can't be black.
There's a height requirement.

Same as riding the Matterhorn.

Go home, Carter.

I can't leave you, Lee.

Can't leave my brother.

All right, listen up!
I need everyone's attention.

I'm Detective Carter,
this is Inspector Lee.

We need to see Soo Yung's
locker right now.

No one's allowed in the back
without the master's permission.

Maybe you didn't hear me.
We need to see that locker.

- I'm sorry.
- Wait. Carter.

Lee, I got this.

Hey! Heh heh. Kids.

Listen. Violence will solve nothin'.

Now, as the Chinese say, all great battles
are won without fightin'.

- Sorry.
- OK?

I don't know him.

Now, let's just calm down
and put this...

- Haa!
- Ow!

God da...


I tried talkin'.

Hoo! Now I'm about to beat
the puberty out of y'all.

You ain't gonna see it comin'.
You ain't gonna see it comin', come on!

Waaa! Whoo!

Runnin' for your lives.

About time y'all showed
some respect around here.

- Huh?
- Carter, wait for the master.

Whoa! Damn!

Heh, I'm sorry, man.
I thought this was the bathroom.


Lee, I got a big problem, man.

This boy's on steroids.
He got a head like Barry Bonds.

- Oh, no.
- Come on, man.

- Aaaah!
- Aaaaah!


Carter, are you OK?

Lee, Lee, get him, Lee!


Ahhh! Ah!



Lee, let's get the hell outta...

Aah! My bunions!

Yah! Hyah! Mm! Ungh!

- Grr! Rargh!
- Ha ha ha.

Urgh! Whoo!

Oh! Aaaah!

Come on, man, let me go.
I love Chinese people!


Wait. I don't...



How do you say "surrender"
in Chinese?


OK. I'm about to slice you up
like a giant California roll!


- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
- Ha ha ha. Funny black man.

Ooh... Oh! Shit!

I'm not playin' no more.



- Lee, let go!
- Carter!


Down! Put us down!

Let me down! I'm sorry!

- Aaaaah!
- I'm sorry, man!

How the hell did we
get in this mess?

- Ugh!
- Agh!

May I help you?

We'll be asking
the questions, old man.

- Who are you?
- Yu.

- No, not me. You.
- Yes, I am Yu.

Just answer the damn questions.

- Who are you?
- I have told you.

- Are you deaf?
- No, Yu is blind.

I'm not blind, you blind.

- That is what I just said.
- You just said what?

- I did not say what, I said Yu.
- That's what I'm asking you.

- And Yu is answering.
- Shut up!

- You!
- Yes?

Not you, him!

- What's your name?
- Mi.

- Yes, you!
- I am Mi.

He is Mi, and I am Yu.

And I'm about to whup your old ass, man,
'cause I'm sick of playin' games!

You, me, everybody's ass
around here! Him!

- Carter, Carter.
- I'm-a kick his ass.

- I'm sick of this.
- Carter, let me handle this.

- Lee. No, Lee. No!
- Carter!


My name is Inspector Lee.
We have a key to Soo Yung's locker.

Some men came here this morning.
They had guns.

They emptied her locker.
I could not stop them.

You must go to her at once.


They said she would end up like her father.

Let's go.

I don't know what the hell
you feedin' him...

- but he is too damn big!
- Carter. Go.

Where is everyone?

Where's all the damn cops?

- Lee.
- Where's security?

They were called away.

W... What's wrong?


Aw, this ain't good.

They're coming for him.

What do we do?



Don't move, or I'll
blow your ass cheeks off.

Get back.


Who sent you?


Don't move!

Lee, throw me a gun!

- Huh?
- Throw me a gun!

- Damn, Lee!
- Huh?

Lee! I thought you had my back!



Soo Yung, one more!



Lee, I'm in trouble!
I need some assistance.


It's empty.



You see? I always got your back.

Why the hell you give me
an empty gun, then?

I didn't know.

You almost got me killed, Lee.

- Ah! Ahh!
- Who are you? Who sent you?

What the hell is that?

I think he's speaking French.

French? What kind of
Chinaman speak French?

Tell him to stop playin' around
and talk right.

How can I tell him?
I don't speak French.


Talk right, man.

No! You're Asian.
Stop humiliatin' yourself.

Shut the hell up.
Shut up. Come here.

We're gonna need a few minutes
alone with this guy.

Find someone here
who speaks French, please.

Speak English!

Uh, this is Sister Agnes
from the chapel upstairs.

She speaks fluent French
and has agreed to interpret for you.

Sister, we appreciate you doin' this.

My pleasure.

Sister Agnes,
please ask who sent him.

He says you're both making
a big mistake.

That one day soon
you'll beg for mercy.

He also said...


Please, Sister, we have to know.

There's lives at stake.

Well, he used the N-word.

What? The N-word?

- You tell this little motherf...
- Carter!

She's a nun.

Sister, you tell this piece of S-word
that I will personally F-word him up.

Did he say "Negro"?

He used the N-word again, but this time
he mentioned your grandmother.

You tell him
that his mama's a H!

Carter, I believe "whore" is
spelled with a W.

Right. W. And his sister's a W.

And his grandmama's
a two-big W...

who makes double
'cause she got no teeth!

You tell him I said that.

Did he say it again?

No. This time he called...

this gentleman a word
that means "cat"...

and another word that rhymes
with "maggot."


Well, you tell him he's an A.W.

Uh, Lee,
"hole" is spelled with a H.

I have a dictionary upstairs.

Just call him an asshole.

He says you've both been marked
for death, like Han and the girl.

Ooh. Sister, turn your back.
You don't want to see this.

Who is Shy Shen
and how do we find him?

Tell us right now or I'll cut your B's off
and shove 'em in your mouth.

- His beads?
- His beads, Sister.

His hairy, stinkin' beads.

Tell me somethin' now.

Lee, give me the gun.
Give me the gun, Lee.

It's over, brother. It's over. OK.

Who is Shy Shen?!

What did he say, Sister?

He said "shoot me."

Lee, there's no bullets in here.

- I'm sorry.
- I am trying to kill somebody, man.

Damn. OK.

You better tell me
something right now.

I'll send you right to heaven, man.

- I don't even care no more.
- Carter.

I'm marked for death.
I ain't got nothin' to lose.

That's right, Sister. Call the Lord and tell
him he 'bout to have some company.

Carter, stop.

Tell me something!

- Carter, enough.
- Oh, she's almost done.

Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned!

He says wait!

- What did he say?
- 50 Franklin D. Roosevelt.


Thank you.

Nice workin' with ya, Sister.

Anytime, brother.

50 FDR.

- It's an address.
- It's a wild goose chase.

Every city in America has
a street named after Roosevelt.

- And who is Geneviève?
- I don't know.

Soo Yung, we're getting you
out of here.

- Why?
- It's not safe for you here.

I won't leave him.

We have no choice.

- Soo Yung.
- Mr. Reynard.

I'm glad your father is OK.

My people won't leave his side.

- You have my word.
- Thank you.

So, let's go.

- Ah.
- Wh... Where am I going?

We're getting out of Los Angeles.
It's not safe for us.

Just a few days, Soo Yung.
I promise.

You'll come with me
and my family to Paris.



You made me a promise.

Don't forget.

My God.

We got a assassin in custody
who only speaks French...

a limo blows up
at the French Consulate...

and the next meeting of the World Court
is in Paris, two days from now.

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?


That we go to Fiji,
we hide out for a year...

maybe change our names,
get jobs as bartenders...

and I'm-a call you Kiko.

We have to find Shy Shen
before he finds us.

We're going to Paris, aren't we?

Yes. Tonight.

Did you know the average French woman
is naked 34 percent of the time?

We are not going there
to meet women.

You have to forget about her,
and let me hook you up.

Hook me up?
After what you did to Isabella?

It was an accident.

Besides, you never even
slept with her.

Thanks to you.
It was going to happen.

But you just had to ruin it.

What did I do that was so terrible?

You shot my girlfriend.
In the neck!

There's nothing else to say.

It's not like she died.

So she has droopy eyes.
So she works at El Poco Loco.

That was temporary.

As soon as she could blink,
the Secret Service took her back.

You know what your problem is?
You need to relax, have some fun.

You have too much rice in your diet.
You're constipated.

I never should have brought you.

Face it, you need me, brother.

I don't need anyone.
And please don't call me brother.

What is this?

Underground gentleman's club
in Paris.

"Club La Passe"? Forget it.

Check out the address.

"50 Franklin D... Roosevelt."

Like I said, you need me.

'Scuse me. Can we have one
gefilte fish and some Ex-Lax?

Where the bags at, man?

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Commissaire Revi of the DST.
Would you please come with me?


Just need to ask you
a few questions.

Oh! Oh! Man!
Goddamn, man!

Oh! Man, this is by far the worst airport
I ever been to.


- Ooph!
- Ah, man!

Now that I have your attention,
why don't you tell me...

what you cops are looking for
here in Paris.

I told you, man. We on vacation.

Just taking in the sights.

Gentlemen, this is my city...

and I'm responsible
if two stupid cops come here...

and get their heads
blown off by the triads.

Now, I can't force you to leave,
but I can make the suggestion.

After all, I found this dirty little gun
inside your jacket.

Which means you could both
do 20 years in my jail.

Do we understand each other?

Do we understand each other?

Excellent. It was wonderful
meeting you both.

So we can go now?

This will just take a moment.

Welcome to Paris.

Oh, shit.

Ohh. Ohhh.

- Ahh.
- Where you go?

- Ugh.
- 50 Franklin, uh...

D. Roosevelt.

No. Get out.

- What?
- I don't drive his kind.

- My kind?
- Americans.

I don't drive Americans.

- But I'm Chinese.
- Yeah, but you're with him...

and they're the most
violent people on earth.

Always starting wars,
always killing people.

Americans make me sick.

Look, man, we are not
in the mood for this.

Me and my partner just got violated
by a small Frenchman.

Wearing a very large ring.

You're a pathetic bunch of criminals
who always resort to violence.

Always push around the little guy.

Hey, that stuff ain't true.
America's not violent!

Come on, America is a joke.

You lost in Vietnam,
you lost in Iraq.

You can't even beat the Europeans
in basketball anymore.

The Dream Team is dead.

Ha ha. I didn't hear you, man.

Talk about the NBA again,
I dare ya. I double-dare ya.

Even your skinny women disgust me.

- Halle Berry.
- Wh...? Aw, hell no.

Now you done gone too far.

You want violence,
smelly Frenchman? Huh?

Do you want violence?
Well, you got it!

- Carter, put the gun down.
- Say you love America.

I love America.
Please, don't kill me.

Sing the national anthem!

Not that one, man!
Sing the American one.

Don't know it.

 Oh, say can you see 

 Oh, say can you see 

 By the dawn's early light 

 Ah-doo da-doo-dee light... 

Wait for us here, George.

Ooh la la. Lee.

Carter, stay focused.

We're looking for Geneviève.

Let's split up.
I'll take the women.

Carter. James Carter.

I know you probably don't understand
a word I'm saying...

but I gotta tell you...

you're the most beautiful woman
I ever seen in my life.

And I'd like to strip you down
and butter you...

like a slice of Wonder Bread.

And shave your armpits and pour honey
all over your naked body.

And for the next two weeks
pretend I was a hungry bear.

Well, James Carter,
I happen to speak six languages.

One of 'em English?

Are you in or out?

Money plays.

Sir, it's a thousand-euro minimum.

How much I'm short?

930 euros.

- Heh.
- It's OK.

Let him play.

Thank you.


- Changez.
- Changez.


I'm looking for Geneviève.

Maybe I can help you.

Do you know what
I hate about cops?

Even when they're
with a woman...

they can't stop thinking
about getting their man.

Who is Shy Shen?

See what I mean?

Come upstairs, cop.
I'll give you what you want.

- Hit me.
- Monsieur, this is baccarat.

I know that!

You think I don't know
baccarack when I play it?

When I was a kid,
me and my friends and I...

used to hang out in front of
the Magic Johnson Theater...

and play baccarack all night long.

Now hit me.

Three kings.
Read 'em and weep.

Three kings is a zero.

You have the worst possible hand.
You lose.


Ah, madame has a 7.

She wins 100,000 euros. Bravo.

Mr. Carter, it appears you have
brought me luck.

I'd like to bring you
breakfast in bed.

Excuse me.

Way to go, Lee.

Today, my boy becomes a man.

Why are you helping me?

Maybe I'm helping myself.

How do I find Geneviève?

I see you like to get right to it.

Do you know Shy Shen?

Would you like to know
a secret, cop?

Yes, please.

Someone's gonna die here tonight.

And it's you.

- Huh! Huh!
- Ugh!

- Huh!
- Ahh!


- Unh!
- Ah!

- Uh!
- Urgh! Ah!

Ohh! Ah! Oh!

Ugh! Grrrrr!



Ah! Ahhh!

- Nngh! Guh!
- Oh! Ah!

- Gnnh!
- Ahhh!

Come on, crouching tiger,
don't hide that dragon.

- Uh!
- Aaah!

Do it, Lee.
You tear that ass up.

- Ahh!
- Oh, oh!

You are a super freak!



- Run!
- Oh!

- Ahh!
- Sorry.

- You got a boyfriend?
- Carter!

Start the car.

- Start the car!
- Drive fast!

Carter. Look!

Uh, George?
We need you to go faster, man.

No. Forget it.

You wanna kill me,
then go ahead, kill me.

- Ahh!
- Drive faster!

Please! I'm scared!

George, you watch
American movies?

- Yeah.
- OK, man. All right.

Listen, you're a super-spy.

A super-spy.

Now drive this cab.

- Come on.
- OK.

I'm a super-spy.

Oh, shit, George. Go!

- Aah!
- George...

When I tell you to,
hit the brakes.


Oh, they got guns, Lee!

- Ungh!
- Ah!

- Ungh!
- Back up!


Way to go, George.

It's OK.




I got this one.


Oh! Whoa! He's got my leg!


Lee! God!

- Aaaaah!
- Hold m...


Get your own damn cab.



- Urgh!
- Yah!

Yeah! Whoa!

- Ungh!
- Oh!

The French are neutral!
This is not my fight!

This is not...!

Ah! Lee, I'm alive.

My whole life flashed in front of me.

In three years I'll be married
to a Chinese woman.

We had three kids looked just like you,
only a little darker.

- Carter.
- What?

Put your hands up.

What you talkin' 'bout?


Some people say the modern world
was invented...

when the French built
these sewers.

10 million gallons pumped
through every hour.

A marvel that no one ever sees.

Welcome to Paris, Lee.

Lee, you know this clown?

Go on, Lee. Tell him who I am.
Don't be shy.

Introduce him
to your shyong dih.

Shyong dih? Your brother?

He doesn't talk about me much.

In fact, he's spent his whole life
trying to forget me.

How would it look if Hong Kong's
great Inspector Lee...

had a brother on the wrong side
of the law?

You're not my brother anymore.

Are you forgetting about Chenzhou?

Yes, I forgot.

You spared my life in Los Angeles.

You should have shot me in that alley.
But you didn't pull the trigger

because you can't escape your past.

I didn't kill you
because I'm not an assassin.

Let me repay the favour, Lee.

I'll allow you to live
if you promise to leave Paris tonight.

You got a deal. Thank you
for showin' us the sewer.

Listen, that's a badass suit.
Let's get the hell outta here.

What about Han and his daughter?

There is nothing I can do for them.

- I have no choice.
- Then I have no choice.

Well, I guess he's stayin'.
Who wanna take me to the airport?

We'll always be brothers, Lee.

In this life and the next.

Tell me, Kenji, who's Shy Shen?

Some secrets are worth dying for.

Oh. OK. A... All right. OK.

Lee, what the hell is goin' on?


Hey, which way, man?

- Shit, Lee, it's locked!
- Over here!

- Lee!
- We have to jump!

- Ooph.
- Oh, that's the sewer!

- Hell no, Lee!
- No choice!

- I'd rather die.
- Come on!



I'm gonna kill you, Lee!

Bonjour. Welcome to
the Plaza Athénée.

How may I help you?

It's great to see you again.
It's been too long.

Yes, far too long, sir.

Listen, I need a big suite,
two beds, two showers...

a massage therapist, some new clothes
and a case of Old Spice.

It's all your fault.
How come you didn't tell me about Kenji?

It was none of your business.

In case you missed it, man,
people are tryin' to kill me.

I'm covered in shit and some French cops
whupped my ass...

with some Yellow Pages, man.

So don't tell me it ain't
none of my business.

You're lucky we're not
in Hong Kong.

Phone book is twice as big.

Why you didn't tell me
you had a brother, man?

Oh, hell, no...

- Lady.
- Oui?

This damn dog just pissed on me.

Good girl.

You know what I think?

I think you feel sorry for this guy.

Maybe Kenji didn't get away in LA.

Maybe you let him go.

The yakuza killed his family in Tokyo.
He was sent to China when he was 7.

He was put in Chenzhou,
the orphanage where I grew up.

We kept each other alive.

You protected each other.
And you're still protectin' him.

I call him shyong dih.

He was like my brother.

And then I left him.

You was adopted.
What choice did you have?

He ended up on the streets.

You could never understand.

I understand, man.
I got a brother.

My little brother Perry.

We used to be best friends.
Now we don't even speak.

He think I tipped off the cops
about his chicken fights in his garage.

Can you believe that?
My own brother think I'm a snitch.

Just 'cause my chicken lost
in the semifinals.

I didn't even really care.

- Carter.
- Fight was fixed, man.

My bird was fightin' a chicken
that didn't make his weight.

And he still went the distance.

He had a lotta heart.
And he was delicious.

It's best if I do this on my own.
This fight is personal.

Lemme help you, man.
I'm-a tell you right now...

whatever Kenji's
tellin' you, it ain't true.

- He ain't your brother.
- And you are not my brother.



I'm not your brother.

 What have I got to do
to make you love me? 

 Sorry seems to be
the hardest word 

-  It's sad 
-  So sad 

 So sad 

 It's a sad, sad situation 

 And it's getting more and more absurd 

Wow. Holy smokes!

-  It's sad 
- Crash landing!

-  So sad 
- Short Round... step on it!

Okey-dokey, Dr. Jones.
Hold on to your potatoes.

 Always seems to me 

 That sorry... 

Yes, I would like to order
some fried chicken, please.

Oh, and some sweet-potato pie.


Enjoy your mu shu, sir.

- Merci.
- Goodbye.

 East Coast girl are 'ip 

 I really dig those styles
they wear 

 And southern girls
with the way they talk 

 They knock me out
when I'm down there 

 The Midwest
farmers' daughters 

 Really make you feel all right 

 And the northerns girls
with the way they kiss 

 They keep their boyfriend
warm at night 

 I wish they all could
be California 

 I wish they all could be California 

 I wish they all
could be California... 

Hm. "Geneviève."


- Oh.
- Hello, Inspector.

Minister Reynard.

They want to kill me.
Me and my family.

A dozen agents
from the French secret police...

have already been murdered...
only this last month.

We are at war with the triads,
right here in my own city.

Who is Shy Shen?

Ah, Shy Shen... uh...
Shy Shen is not a person.

It's a list.

- A list?
- Yes.

Every 5 years, the triad bosses
come together...

for an election, and during that ceremony
they choose the men...

who will lead the triads.

- Dragon heads.
- Yes.

13 dragon heads who will control...

the largest criminal organization
in the world.

And their 13 names are inscribed
on the list known as Shy Shen.

A list which has been handed
down and kept secret...

from generation to generation.

If the names on that list
were ever to get out...

well, the secret society
wouldn't be so secret anymore...

and they would all end up in jail,
or dead.

And the list is somewhere in Paris?

A young lady named Geneviève
made contact with Ambassador Han...

and we believe she knows where it is.

I'm asking for your help, Inspector.

Finish what Ambassador Han started.

Get to the girl before the triads do
and you'll get Shy Shen.

Ha ha ha!

Ca va, oui, oui, voulez-vous.

I don't understand.
Who are you?

- Who am I?
- Oui.

I'm Bubbles.
The new costume designer!

Has anyone seen Geneviève?

Uh, she has her own
dressing room.


Wait. Bubbles.

Uh, do we look OK?

No. No, no.

These costumes are terrible!

Ladies, please, we have work to do!

First, I will dress the blondes.

And then...

the brunettes.

And finally...

the hybrids.

The Lord have truly bless you all
with tremendous talent...

trust me.

And some of you have
what I like to call...

silver-dollar potential.

 Vous avez lu I'histoire de Jesse James? 

 Comment il vécut,
comment il est mort? 

 Ca vous a plu, hein?
Vous en demandez encore 

 Et bien... 

Lee! What you doin' here?

What are you doing here?

- I found Geneviève.
- So did I.

- They're gonna kill her.
- What?

- Look.
-  Comment il vécut 

 Comment il est mort 

 Ca vous a plu, hein? 

- Lee, you get the lights, I'll get the girl.
- Oh.

 Et bien, écoutez I'histoire 

 De Bonnie and Clyde 

 Alors, voilà,
Clyde a une petite amie 

 Elle est belle et son prénom c'est... 


 À eux deux
ils forment le gang Barrow 

-  Leurs noms... 
-  Bonnie Parker 

 Et Clyde Barrow 

 Bonnie and Clyde 

 Bonnie and Clyde 

 Moi, lorsque j'ai connu
Clyde autrefois 

 C'était un gars loyal,
honnête et droit 

 II faut croire
que c'est la société 

 Qui m'a définitivement abîmé 

 Bonnie and Clyde 

 Bonnie and Clyde 

 Qu'est-ce qu'on n'a pas écrit... 

- Your life is in danger.
- What the hell's going on?

You step into that spotlight,
it's the last step you ever gonna take.

They're gonna kill you right now.

- Who are you?
-  On est bien obligé 

 De faire taire celui qui... 

James Carter, LAPD.

 Bonnie and Clyde 

Sorry, James.
It's time for my solo.

 Bonnie and Clyde 

You gotta come with me now, girl.

 The closer I get to you 

 The more you make me see 

 By giving me all you've got 

 Your love has captured

 Over and over again 

 I tried to tell myself that we 

 Could never be
more than friends 

 And all the while 

 Inside I knew it was real 

 The way you make me feel 

 Sweeter and sweeter
love grows 

 And heaven's there for those 

- What's happening?
-  Who fooled... 

Get your hands off me!

We are friends of Ambassador Han.

Trust us, girl.



- Get in.
- It's George!

Go, go, go.

I've been looking for you
all day, my friend.

We need to talk.

Forget it, George.
We're not paying for any damages.

Oh, no, no, no.
I don't want you to pay.

I wanna ask if I could
drive you full time no charge.

Why you want to drive us?

Today was amazing.
The guns, the shooting.

Now I understand
what it is to be an American.

Please, I'm begging you.
Let me be your driver.

Let me kill someone tonight!

You'll never be an American, OK?

I'll drink this shit all day if I have to.

Just give me a chance.

All right, fine.
Get us to the Plaza, fast.

You got it, boss.

Hold on.

So you think she stole this
Shy Shen list from the triads?

Only one way to find out.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

We need her to talk.
Get her relaxed.

Maybe open up some wine
from the minibar.


Maybe we should put on
a dirty movie.

- Lee!
- Only 9.95.

This our chance to find Shy Shen.

I'm goin' in.

What's wrong with you?

Wait, let me go with you.

Some things a man has to do
on his own.

You OK?

Kenji must have figured out
what I've done.

I'm as good as dead.

You stole the list, didn't you?
You tried to sell it to Han?

You don't get it.
I'm one of them.

And if I'm dead, you're dead.

Hey, we're safe.
No one knows we're here.

Just relax.

No one is safe.

I'm marked.

Trust me.

Now why should I trust you?

As the Chinese say...

What does that mean?

"A donkey's lips will not fit
on a horse's mouth."

I'm not sure how that applies.

Well, I was just thinking
you had nice lips.

That's all.

You saved my life today.
Thank you, Carter.

Oh, please. Call me James.

Or Stallion.

No one's saved me
in a long time.

How can I repay you?

You got 20 bucks?

How 'bout ten?

Oh, man. Mmm.

- James.
- What?

- I'm bad.
- I'm bad too.

I'm a bad girl.


Oh, yeah.
That's it, baby. Yeah. Uh-oh.

Ha ha. Oh, yeah. That's it, baby.

Oh, yeah. Bite that ear.
Punish that ear.

Do what you wanna do.

Oh, baby... Whoa, whoa,
whoa, wait a minute.

My nipples are sensitive.
Be careful down there.

I've never been with
an American man before.

Neither have I.

I feel so safe with you.
Do you want me?

Ha. How you say "Twice now
and once in the shower" in French?

Wait here. I'm going
to the bathroom.

Make myself more comfortable.

You need some matches?

Don't move.
I'll be right back.

Hello, room service?

Send me up a bottle of honey
and some Red Bull.

Do you like it?

No wonder Lance Armstrong
came all the way here to ride a bike.

Merci beaucoup.

Oui, baby, oui!

Oh, yeah.

Voulez... vous
coucher avec moi, baby?

Je t'aime.


Oh, yeah.

Je t'aime, baby, je t'aime!

Freeze! Don't move!

Ah! Shit! Damn!

- I'm shot.
- It's OK, it's OK.

It's just a flesh wound.
It's OK. Gen...

Geneviève, Geneviève,
let me help you.

- Let me help you, baby.
- I'm terribly sorry.

- I'm OK.
- Where you going?

Je... Damn.

So we even now, huh?
Is that it?

I shoot your girl,
you shoot my girl?

I was trying to save your life.

Well, you couldn't wait five minutes?

We... We was about to
make love, man!

And you ruin it.

They will be coming for us.
We have to get out of here now.

You hear that?
We have to get out of here now.

- Damn, Lee! Damn you.
- Sorry.

Next time I'm getting
my own damn room.

Get them out, George.

These people are danger,
they're bleeding.

How can you bring them
to our home?

Paulette, there is something
you should know.

I'm not what you think I am.

Are you telling me you're gay?

I'm trying tell you... l'm an American spy.

Ha. You a spy?

Yes, I'm working undercover
with the police.

We're about to crack a big case!

Shut your mouth, George.
Not another word.

You're a stupid cab driver,
like your father was a stupid cab driver.

What kind of case could you crack?

Can't talk about it.

From this moment on, don't ever ask me
about my business!

Come with me, schmuck. Now.

We need to get out of the city.

We're not going anywhere till you tell us
exactly what's going on.

Did you steal that list
from the triads?

Geneviève, we cannot help you
until you tell us the truth.

Where is Shy Shen?

It's right here.

Holy mother of Jesus!
She's a man.

I went to second base
with a damn Frenchman.

It's The Crying Games.

I'm Brokeback Carter. Oh, God.

I'm not a man. It's just a wig.

You sure about that? Huh?

Lee, go over there
and check the hardware.

If she got anything in her bag
bigger than a three-iron...

we gonna beat his ass!

I'm a woman, James.
A woman who needs a way out.

You have to help me.

- You have Shy Shen?
- No.

I am Shy Shen.

In ancient times, when the triads
would select new leaders...

they would secretly tattoo
the names onto a woman...

a woman who could carry
the list of Shy Shen...

to the 35 provinces of China.

When her journey ended
and the new leaders were informed...

the woman would be beheaded
and buried forever.

No records, no witnesses.

What type of tradition is that?

Have these guys ever heard of
a damn fax machine?

Kenji made me do it,
said it was a great honour.

I wanted to do it for him.
For the brotherhood.

Then why did you
send the names to Han?

Because I thought the World Court
could protect me.

But now I see... nobody can.

You are messed up
in some weird shit, lady.

I mean man.
Whatever the hell you are.

I'm a woman!

And they will send a army to kill me.
To protect their way.

You know what?
We can't fight no army, Lee.

Who gonna protect me? I mean us?

I know a place.

I won't be here
when you come out. I'm sorry.

My wife says I can't be a spy,
that I have to be home for dinner.

The truth is I'm a driver.
Nothing more.

This is my destiny.

I will never know what it's like
to be an American.

Never know what it feels like
to kill for no reason.

George, it's OK.

Thank you.

Au revoir. And good luck.

- Au revoir.
- Bye, George.

Minister Reynard.

We have it.

The Shy Shen list?
This is incredible.

Some people said it was a myth.

Naw, it's no myth.
I've seen it. Felt it.

Kissed it.
But I didn't French-kiss it.

You do understand
how dangerous this is?

I was gonna use protection.

Can we go to the police?

The triads control
too many of them here.

We have to get you
out of the country.

Now, my dear...

would you mind taking off that wig
and showing us Shy Shen?

We never told him she was the list.

Look at that. 13 names linked
to centuries of tradition.

The only real proof
that their secret world exists.


Geneviève, get their guns.

I told you he was bad.
Didn't I tell you?


Well, I was thinkin' it.

The explosion at the embassy.

As head of
the World Criminal Court...

it would make sense
for me to be a target.

Why did you come to my room?

Geneviève was going to be killed.

Having you die in the crossfire
would put an end to the investigation.

Now, it will end another way.

Ha ha. It's over, Reynard.

You know what it's like
for old men in prison?

They call you "pops."
They make you work in the library.

Your best friend? Gonna be a mouse.

I'm not going to prison.

You have a phone call, Inspector.

Hello, brother.

I'd like to make a trade.

Some friends of mine came across
something in Los Angeles.

Something very valuable.


Help me, please.

Do we understand each other?

What do you want?

Shy Shen.

You and Geneviève
will meet me alone tonight.

If I see your partner
or any other cops, the girl dies.


Jules Verne restaurant, midnight.
Don't be late.

He brought the girl.
Send the elevator down.

Welcome to the party, Lee.

Tonight we celebrate
the return of Shy Shen...

and the return of my brother.

Where is Soo Yung?


This sword has a past.

And like ours, it has seen
much pain, much blood.


Hundreds of years ago
the triads would kill their enemies...

with 100 cuts to the body.

They would be very careful to avoid
any major arteries...

so that the victim would stay alive
for as long as possible.

You have just experienced
your first cut.

If anything happens to Soo Yung...

You could never kill me, Lee.
We both know that.

You know nothing about me.

I know you have no wife,
no children, no family.

Your life ended when we were kids,
back in Chenzhou.

You have nothing. Just like me.

I wouldn't say nothin'!

He has me.

His brother from another mother.

Where is she?

Enjoying the view.

Soo Yung!



Let her go.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Do you wanna die, Kenji?

Get her in here!

Carter, drop the gun.

Get her off that damn rope,
or I'm shootin' you...

and the damn Temptations.

Right now!

Oh, no! Lee!


- Do it!
- Put her down!

I'm serious!

I'm not playin'!

You ain't my damn brother.


- Drop the gun.
- No.

Drop it, Carter.


Damn it.

- Tonight I lose a brother.
- Aah!

Get him, Lee!

Gonna get your ass kicked, Kenji.

Come on, kill him already!

Lee, he might be your brother,
but turn him into your sister.

Watch out!


Bring your little ass here.
Come here.


Give me your hand.



- Grrrah!
- Aaaah!

Lee? Lee!

- Gnn!
- Hold on, I'm comin'!

Get the hell off me.


Yeah, Lee!




Ah! Ahhhh!

Ahh... ah...

Ahhhh! God da...

Enough, Kenji!





Hoh hoh hoh hoh
hoh hoh hoh!

 Everybody was
kung-fu fightin' 

 The man was fast as ligh... 

Soo Yung!


What are you waiting for? Do it!



Let go.

Or we're both gonna die.

No! I can save you.

Ungh. Grrn.


Goodbye, Lee.

No, Kenji!







I'm comin', Soo Yung!

Oh, my God!

What the hell am I doin' up here?

Aah! Help.

Stay cool, lady.
This doesn't have to end this way.

Don't do it. Don't do it, lady.

Don't you do it!

Think about what you doin'.


Please. No.

Hey. Hey!

Would you like to know
a secret, cop?



Aaah! Oh, no! No!





Ah! Aaah!

Ah! Aaaaaaah!

Oh! Oh.



Uh! Uh!


Lee! You shoulda seen us, man.
We whupped their ass.

Soo Yung!

I'm OK.

Oh, shit!

Call the police.



Ah... yah!


Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa-oa! Whoa!

Rah! Hah! Carter!

- Hold on!
- Aaah!

Ah! Yaaaaah!

- Aaaaah!
- Aaah!


Ah! Oh!

- Hang on!
- Lee! Reel me in.

- I got you!
- Black people don't fly.

Get me up. Get me up.

Come on, man. Hurry up.


Oh! Lee! Get me outta here!

Ungh. Argh. Ah.

Don't let go of that flag!

- Argh.
- Ah!



- Ah.
- Thank you, Lee.

Carter! Hold on to the flag!

Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no!

- Aaaaah!
- Aaaaah!

- Aaaaaah!
- Aaaaaah!

- Aaaah!
- Aaaah!



Lee, I'm gonna kill you
if we don't die!

- Aaaah!
- Aaaaaah!

Oh, dear Lord, please!
Baby Jesus, help us!

- Aaaaaaaaah!
- Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Lee! Where you at?

I'm drownin'! I'm drownin'!

Get this thing off me, Lee!

- Carter.
- What?

I'm not constipated anymore.

Put your hands up.


Hey, man, you're the head
of the World Court.

What you gonna do,
shoot us down like animals?

We're police officers.

Yes. And you two
just killed this girl.

Blew her brains out.

- Carter!
- Don't do it!


- You all right?
- Put the gun down.

I followed you.

Case closed.

Good job, man.

Hey, man! You touch me again...

you gonna owe me
dinner and a movie.


It appears we have finally
brought down the triads.

- We?!
- You didn't do shit.

My butt still hurts.

The Americans and the French...

need to work together
in the spirit of brotherhood.

Together, we can do anything.

Anything! Ha ha ha.

He's right, Lee.
Together, we can do anything.

You go this way...

And I'll go that way.


 Huh, yeah 

 What is it good for? 

-  Absolutely 
-  Nothin' 



 Huh, yeah 

 What is it good for? 

-  Absolutely 
-  Nothin' 

 Say it again, y'all 


 Huh, look out 

 What is it good for? 

-  Absolutely 
-  Nothin' 

 Listen to me 

 Ohhhh, war! 

That's right, Lee.
For the last 3 years...

I've studied the ancient teaching
of booty. Ev...

Oh, booty. Ha ha ha ha!


- Ha ha ha!
- "Cheese"?

- Ha ha ha ha ha!
- What?

- Freeze.
- Oh, freeze!

As soon as she could blink,
the s... seafood service...

- Seaf... seafood...
- Secret Service.

As soon as sh... she could blink...

the sheafood shervish...
Uh, swa...

Secret Service.

The ssssseaf...

Secret, not seafood.

I know seafood.

- I know secret.
- Secret.

- Secret.
- Secret. See?

But when everything together,
it become a seafood!

- Ha ha ha!
- Ha ha ha ha!


- I'm sorry! So sorry.
- It came off.


- Oh, shit. You all right?
- Yeah, good.

That was my... Muhammad Ali swing, man!

Yeah, baby!


- Oh.
- Whoa.

- That's the one, Mama.
- That would have been it.

I'm sick of you, Kenji.

You been tryin' to kill us
ever since the start of this damn movie.

- Raaaaah!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!







You OK?

So her eye is a little
droopy now and she's...

So she's working for
El Loc... Lar El Poco.

- Ha ha ha.
- I'm sorry.

It's El Pollo Loco.

So sh... now she works at
El Lolo Poco.

El Pollo Loco.

El Lo... Loro Poco. Uh.

El Poco Loco.

El Loco Poco.

So... so she works at Elo... Loco Poco,
so what?

Ha ha!

And... So she works for
El L... Loro Poco.

- Ha ha ha.
- El Pollo Loco.

- No, we gonna go past that...
- Ha ha ha!

...'cause I'm not gettin' that tonight.

El Pollo Loco.

El... Ohh! Jackie!

- El Pollo Loco!
- Whoo!

The mom's gone.

Maybe we should
put on a dirty movie.


- I like the ones with a story.
- What?

- I like the one with a locker-room scene.
- What?

I like the one with a prison scene.

I like the one with a shower scene.

I like the ones with a white girl.

I'm into feet.

I like the one with the horses.

- What's that mean?
- Damn.

What he teach me?

That's it, one more, one more.
Last one.

Are you teaching me a bad word?

I like the one with hairy woman.

What's wrong with you?

I don't know. Brett Ratner tell...

- teach me that.
- He'll teach you anything.

And you're not my brother.

I'm not your brother?

All the stuff we've been through?

Rush Hour 1, Rush Hour 2?

- Ha ha ha.
- Ha ha ha ha ha!

 Bienvenue à Paris 

 C'est le retour
de Rush Hour 3 

 Avec Cee-Lo et Nas 

 La la la la 

 La la la la 

 Uh-oh, yeah 

 Mr. International,
the man's in a four-women love 

 Voice pump out the Bose
and the tinted rose 

 Craftiness, take a stab at it 

 Don't ask if Nasty's back at it 

 I'll run out of magic 

 Popular boxcutter flow 

 Time is money, the watch costs dough
shakin' the dice 

 Fragrancing some beautiful ladies,
the lights 

 The ambiance here,
this is the life 

 The money,
hotties on each arm, it's on 

 I party like a rap star 

 Baby, the fat's on,
the third time's a charm 

 So meet me by the Eiffel Tower,
bring a bottle of Dom 

 I am here 

 This is the place 

 The atmosphere of espionage
and expensive taste 

 And each one that I see
is an unfamiliar face 

 So I guess I'll just cut
straight to the chase 

 And before I could say
the name of who I came to see 


 Someone's suspicion, it came to me 

 I'm so close, and I've come so far 

 A glass of red wine sips on the woman
at the end of the bar 

 I'd love to talk to you
but I don't have the time 

 She looks like the prettiest part
of a perfect crime 

 But if I could
I'd put a picket fence 

 Around her wild flower 

 But, darling, I have less than an hour 

 I have less than an hour 

 I have less than an hour 


 Oh, oh, oh 

 Funny how time flies
when you're having fun 

 Yeah, you know 

 But I got to do
what must be done 

 We're on a winning streak,
we survived the killing streets 

 Now you at the crap table
where the real villains meet 

 Number 7 might get you to heaven 

 You break the bank,
just might make you a legend 

 'Cause after you plan to get some poker face 

 Genie eyes, light green,
sipping on Bellinis 

 You play your cards right,
she'll let you touch 

 She be a devil in disguise, lady incubus 

 Better know who to trust 

 She might roll with thugs
who roll bodies up in Asian rugs 

 I'm-a rush up and move on 'em 

 Put the ooze on 'em 

 The crews do somethin' new
and formal, yeah 

 I have less than an hour 

 Ohh, time rolls away, baby 

 I have less than an hour 

 Whoo, mmm 

 I'm in the pursuit
of my own personal power 

 And I only have an hour 

Special thanks to SergeiK.