Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Sweeney Todd script is here for all you fans of the Tim Burton movie with Johnny Depp. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Sweeney Todd quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Script

I have sailed the world
Beheld its wonders

From the Dardanelles
To the mountains of Peru

But there's no place like London

No, there's no place like London

Mr. Todd?

You are young
Life has been kind to you

You will learn

There's a hole in the world
like a great black pit

And the vermin of the world inhabit it

And its morals aren't worth
what a pig could spit

And it goes by the name of London

At the top of the hole
sit a privileged few

Making mock of the vermin
in the lower zoo

Turning beauty into filth and greed

I too have sailed the world
and seen its wonders

For the cruelty of men
is as wondrous as Peru

But there's no place like London

Is everything all right, Mr. Todd?

I beg your indulgence, Anthony.

My mind is far from easy.

In these once familiar streets
I feel shadows everywhere.



There was a barber and his wife

And she was beautiful

A foolish barber and his wife

She was his reason and his life

And she was beautiful

And she was virtuous

And he was


There was another man who saw

that she was beautiful

A pious vulture of the law

Who, with a gesture of his claw

Removed the barber from his plate

Then there was nothing but to wait

And she would fall

So soft, so young
so lost and, oh, so beautiful

And the lady, sir, did she succumb?

Oh, that was many years ago

I doubt if anyone would know

I'd like to thank you, Anthony.

If you hadn't spotted me,
I'd be lost on the ocean still.

Will I see you again?

You might find me if you like.

Around Fleet Street, I wouldn't wonder.

Until then, my friend.

There's a hole in the world
like a great black pit

And it's filled with people
who are filled with shit

And the vermin of the world inhabit it

A customer!

Wait! What's your rush?
What's your hurry?

You gave me such a fright
I thought you was a ghost!

Half a minute, can't you sit?
Sit you down. Sit!

All I meant is that I haven't seen
a customer for weeks!

Did you come here for a pie, sir?

Do forgive me
if me head's a little vague

What was that?

But you'd think we had the plague!
From the way that people keep avoiding

No, you don't.

Heaven knows I try, sir!

But there's no one
comes in even to inhale

Right you are, sir
would you like a drop of ale?

Mind you, I can hardly blame them

These are probably
the worst pies in London

I know why nobody cares to take them

I should know, I make them
But good? No!

The worst pies in London

Even that's polite
The worst pies in London

If you doubt it, take a bite

Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it

It's nothing but crusting

Here, drink this, you'll need it
The worst pies in London

And no wonder
with the price of meat what it is

When you get it
Never thought I'd live to see the day

Men'd think it was a treat
Finding poor animals

What are dying in the street

Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop

Does her business
but I noticed something weird

Lately all her neighbors' cats
have disappeared

Have to hand it to her
What I calls enterprise

Popping pussies into pies

Wouldn't do in my shop

Just the thought of it's enough
to make you sick

And I'm telling you
them pussycats is quick

No denying times is hard, sir!

Even harder than
the worst pies in London

Only lard and nothing more
Is that just revolting

All greasy and gritty

It looks like it's molting

And tastes like

Well, pity

A woman alone!

With limited wind

And the worst pies in London


Times is hard

Times is hard

Trust me, dearie, it's gonna take a lot
more than ale to wash that taste out.

Come with me.
We'll get you a nice tumbler of gin, eh?

Isn't this homey, now?

The cheery wallpaper
was a real bargain, too.

It was only partly singed when
the chapel burned down.

There you go.
You sit down, warm your bones.

You've a room over the shop here?

Times is so hard,
why don't you rent it out?

What, up there? No, I won't go near it.

People think it's haunted.

- Haunted?
- Yeah.

And who's to say they're wrong?

You see, years ago,
something happened up there.

Something not very nice.

There was a barber and his wife

And he was beautiful

A proper artist with a knife

But they transported him for life

And he was beautiful

Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.

What was his crime?


He had this wife, you see

Pretty little thing, silly little nit

Had her chance
for the moon on a string

Poor thing

Poor thing

There was this judge, you see

Wanted her like mad
Every day he sent her a flower

But did she come down from her tower?

Sat up there and sobbed by the hour

Poor fool

But there was worse yet to come
poor thing

Well, Beadle calls on her all polite
Poor thing

Poor thing

The Judge, he tells her is all contrite

He blames himself
for her dreadful plight

She must come straight
to his house tonight

Poor thing, poor thing

Of course, when she goes there
Poor thing, poor thing

They're having this ball all in masks

There's no one she knows there
Poor dear, poor thing

She wanders tormented and drinks
Poor thing

The Judge has repented, she thinks
Poor thing

"Oh, where is Judge Turpin?"
She asks

He was there all right
Only not so contrite

She wasn't no match for such craft
you see

And everyone thought it so droll

They figured she had to be daft
you see

So all of them stood there and laughed
you see

Poor soul

Poor thing...


Would no one have mercy on her?

So, it is you,

Benjamin Barker?

Where is Lucy?

Where is my wife?

She poisoned herself.

Arsenic, from the apothecary
around the corner.

Tried to stop her,
but she wouldn't listen to me.

And he's got your daughter.


Judge Turpin?

Adopted her. Like his own.

Fifteen years.

I've sweated in a living hell
on a false charge.

Fifteen years dreaming I might
come home to a wife and child.

Well, I can't say the years have been
particularly kind to you, Mr. Barker.

No. Not Barker.

That man is dead.

It's Todd now. Sweeney Todd.

And he will have his revenge.

Come in.

Nothing to be afraid of, love.

When they came for the girl, I hid them.

Could've sold them, but I didn't.

Those handles is chased silver,
ain't they?

Silver. Yes.

These are my friends

See how they glisten

See this one shine

How he smiles in the light

My friend

My faithful friend

Speak to me, friend

Whisper, I'll listen

I know, I know

You've been locked
out of sight all these years

Like me, my friend

Well, I've come home

To find you waiting


And we're together

And we'll do wonders

Won't we?

You there, my friend

- I'm your friend, too, Mr. Todd
- Come, let me hold you

- lf you only knew, Mr. Todd
- Now, with a sigh

Oh, Mr. Todd

- you're warm in my hand
- You grow warm in my hand

My friend

- You've come home
- My clever friend

Always had a fondness for you, I did

Rest now, my friends

- Never you fear, Mr. Todd
- Soon I'll unfold you

- You can move in here, Mr. Todd
- Soon you'll know

- Splendors you never
- Splendors you never

- have dreamed all your days
- have dreamed all your days

Will be yours

My lucky friends

- I'm your friend and now you're mine
- Till now your shine...

- Don't they shine beautiful?
...was merely silver

Silver's good enough for me

- Friends, you shall drip rubies
- Mr. T

You'll soon drip precious


Leave me.

At last, my arm is complete again.

Green finch and linnet bird
Nightingale, blackbird

How is it you sing?

How can you jubilate
Sitting in cages

Never taking wing?

Outside the sky waits
Beckoning, beckoning

Just beyond the bars

How can you remain
Staring at the rain

Maddened by the stars?

How is it you sing anything?

How is it you sing?

My cage has many rooms
Damask and dark

Nothing there sings
Not even my lark

Larks never will, you know
When they're captive

Teach me to be more adaptive

Green finch and linnet bird
Nightingale, blackbird

Teach me how to sing

If I cannot fly

Let me sing


Alms for a miserable woman

On a miserable chilly morning

- Thank you, sir!
- Ma'am?

Could you tell me whose house this is?

That's the great
Judge Turpin's house, that is.

And the young lady who resides there?

Oh, that's Johanna,
his pretty little ward.

Keeps her snug, he does. All locked up.

So don't you go trespassing there,
or it's a good whipping for you,

or any other young man
with mischief on his mind.


Alms for a desperate woman

I feel you


I feel you

I was half convinced I'd waken

Satisfied enough to dream you

Happily I was mistaken, Johanna

I'll steal you


I'll steal you

Come in, lad. Come in.

You were looking for Hyde Park,
you say?


It's very large on the map,
but I keep getting lost.

Sit down, lad, sit down.

It's embarrassing for a sailor
to lose his bearings, but there you are.

A sailor?

Yes, sir. The Bountiful, out of Plymouth.

A sailor must know
the ways of the world, yes?

Must be practiced
in the ways of the world.

Would you say you were practiced, boy?

- Sir?
- Oh, yes.

Such practices.

The geishas of Japan.
The concubines of Siam.

The catamites of Greece.
The harlots of India.

I have them all here. Drawings of them.

Everything you've ever dreamed
of doing with a woman.

Would you like to see?

I think there's been some mistake.

I think not.

You gandered at my ward, Johanna.
You gandered at her.

- Yes, sir, you gandered.
- I meant no harm.

Your meaning is immaterial.

Mark me.

If I see your face again on this street,
you'll rue the day you were born.

Hyde Park is that way, young sir!

A left and a right and straight on,
you see?

Move on, now!

You heard what Judge Turpin said,
little man.

Next time, it'll be your pretty little brains
all over the pavement.

I'll steal you


I'll steal you

Do they think that walls can hide you?

Even now, I'm at your window

I am in the dark beside you

Buried sweetly in your yellow hair

I feel you


And one day

I'll steal you

Till I'm with you then
I'm with you there!

Sweetly buried in your yellow hair!

He's here every Thursday.
Italian. All the rage he is.

Best barber in London, they say.

Hang on.

Ladies and gentlemen
May I have your attention, please?

Do you wake every morning
in shame and despair

To discover your pillow
is covered with hair

What ought not to be there?

Well, ladies and gentlemen
From now on you can waken at ease

You need never again
have a worry or care

I will show you a miracle
marvelous rare

Gentlemen, you are about
to see something

What rose from the dead!

On the top of my head!

'Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir

That's what did the trick, sir
True, sir, true

Was it quick, sir? Did it in a tick, sir?

Just like an elixir ought to do

How about a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny, guaranteed

Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth, sir?

You can have my oath, sir
'Tis unique

Rub a minute
Stimulating, isn't it?

Soon you'll have to thin it
Once a week!

Pardon me, ma'am
what's that awful stench?

Are we standing in an open trench?

Must be standing near an open trench!

Pardon me, sir
what's that awful stench?

Buy Pirelli's Miracle Elixir

Anything what's slick, sir
Soon sprouts curls

Try Pirelli's
When they see how thick, sir

You can have your pick, sir
Of the girls

Want to buy a bottle, missus?

- What is this?
- What is this?

- Smells like piss
- Smells like...

- Looks like piss!
- Wouldn't touch it if I was you, dear!

- This is piss, piss with ink
- Let Pirelli's activate your roots, sir!

Keep it off your boots, sir
Eats right through

Yes, get Pirelli's, use a bottle of it
Ladies seem to love it

Flies do, too

I am Adolfo Pirelli

The king of the barbers
The barber of kings

E buon giorno, good day!
I blow you a kiss!

And I

the so famous Pirelli
I wish-a to know-a

Who has-a the nerve-a to say

My elixir is piss

Who says this?

I do.

I am Mr. Sweeney Todd of Fleet Street.

I have opened a bottle of Pirelli's Elixir.

And I say to you that it is nothing
but an arrant fraud,

concocted from piss and ink.

Furthermore, Signor,
I have serviced no kings,

yet I wager that I can shave a cheek
with 10 times more dexterity,

than any street mountebank.

Do you see these razors?

I lay them against £5.

You are no match, sir.

Either accept my challenge,
or reveal yourself as a sham.

You hear this foolish man?

Now, please, you will see
how he will-a regret-a his-a folly.


Who's for a free shave?

Will Beadle Bamford be the judge?

Glad, as always,
to oblige my friends and neighbors.




The fastest,
smoothest shave is the winner!

Now, signorini, signori
We mix-a the lather

But first-a
You gather around, signorini, signori

You looking a man who have
had-a the glory to shave-a the Pope!

Mr. Sweeney, whoever
I beg-a you pardon

You'll probably say
it was only a cardinal


It was-a the Pope!

To shave-a the face
To cut-a the hair

Require the grace
Require the flair

For if-a you slip
You nick the skin

You clip-a the chin
You rip-a the lip a bit

Beyond-a repair

To shave-a the face

Or even a part
Without it-a smart

Require the heart

Not just-a the flash

It take-a panache
It take-a the passion for the art

To shave-a the face
To trim-a the beard

To make-a the bristle
Clean like a whistle

This is from early infancy
The talent give to me

By God

It take-a the skill
It take-a the brains

It take-a da will
To take-a the pains

It take-a the pace
It take-a the grace

The winner is Todd!

Sir, I bow to a skill
far greater than my own.

The £5.

May the good Lord smile on you.

Until we meet again.

Come, boy. Come!

Suppose it's just me gentle heart,

but I do hate to see a boy
treated like that.

Congratulations, Mr. Todd.

May I ask you, sir,
do you have your own establishment?

He certainly does.

Sweeney Todd's Tonsorial Parlor,

above my Meat Pie Emporium
in Fleet Street.

I thank you, sir.

You are a paragon of integrity.

Well, I try to do my best for
my friends and neighbors.

Your establishment
is in Fleet Street, you say?

- Yes, sir.
- Then, Mr. Todd,

you shall surely see me there
before the week is out.

You will be welcome, Beadle Bamford.

And I can guarantee to give you,
without a penny's charge,

the closest shave you will ever know.

Come on, love.

It's not much of a chair, but it'll do.

It was me poor Albert's chair.
Sit in it all day long he did,

after his leg gave out with the gout.

Why doesn't the Beadle come?

"Before the week is out,"
that's what he said.

Well, who says the week's out?
It's only Tuesday.

Easy now
Hush, love, hush

Don't distress yourself
What's your rush?

Keep your thoughts
Nice and lush


Hush, love, hush
Think it through

Once it bubbles
Then what's to do?

Watch it close
Let it brew


I've been thinking flowers
Maybe daisies

To brighten up the room

Don't you think some flowers
Pretty daisies

Might relieve the gloom?


Love, wait

And the Judge? When'll we get to him?

Can't you think of nothing else?
Always brooding away on your wrongs

Can't you think of nothing else?
Always brooding away on your wrongs

and what happened
heaven knows how many years ago.

Come on.

Slow, love, slow
Time's so fast

Now goes quickly
See, now it's past

Soon will come
Soon will last


Don't you know
Silly man

Half the fun is to plan the plan?

All good things
come to those who can


Gillyflowers, maybe
'Stead of daisies

I don't know, though
What do you think?

Oh, I'm sorry, excuse me.

- Mrs. Lovett, sir.
- A pleasure, ma'am.

Mr. Todd,
there's a girl who needs my help.

Such a sad girl and lonely,
but beautiful, too and...

- Slow down, son.
- Yes. I'm sorry.

This girl has a guardian
who keeps her locked away,

but then, this morning,
she dropped this.

Surely a sign
that Johanna wants me to help her.

That's her name, Johanna.

And Turpin is her guardian.
He's a judge of some sort.

Once he goes to court,
I'm going to slip into the house,

release her and beg her
to come away with me tonight.

- Oh, this is very romantic.
- Yes.

But I don't know anyone in London,
you see.

And I need somewhere safe to bring her
till I've hired a coach to take us away.

If I could keep her here
just for an hour or two,

I'd be forever in your debt.

- Bring her here, love.
- Thank you, ma'am.

Mr. Todd?

Oh, thank you.
Thank you, thank you, my friend.

Thank you, ma'am.

Seems like the Fates
are favoring you at last, Mr. T.

What is it? You'll have her back
before the day is out.

What about him?


Oh, well. Let him bring her here.

And then, since you're so hot for a little,

that's the throat to slit, my dear.

Poor little Johanna.

All those years without a scrap
of motherly affection.

Well, I'll soon see to that.

Hello. What's he doing here?

Keep the boy downstairs.

Signora, is Mr. Todd at home?

Plying his trade upstairs.

Would you look at it now?

You wouldn't mind if I gave it a nice
juicy meat pie, would you?

- Sì, sì, sì. Whatever you want.
- Come on, lad.

Your teeth are strong, I hope.

Close the door.
Get you a nice lovely pie.

Sit down. Make yourself comfy.

Come in.

- Mr. Todd.
- Signor Pirelli.

Call me Davey.

Davey Collin's the name
when it's not professional.

I'd like me five quid back,
if you don't mind.


Because you entered into our little
wager under false pretenses, my friend.

So that you might remember
to be a bit more forthright in the future,

I'll be taking half your profits
from herewith.

Share and share alike.

Mr. Benjamin Barker.

Here we are. Tuck in.

I like to see a man
with a healthy appetite.

Reminds me of my dear Albert.

Liked to gorge himself
to bloatation, he did.

He didn't have
your nice head of hair, though.

To tell the truth, it gets awful hot.

Yes, this'll do nicely.

You don't remember me, do you?
Why should you?

I was just a little nip
that you hired for a couple of weeks,

sweeping up hair.

But I remember these.

And how could
I ever forget you, Mr. Barker.

I used to sit right here.

Dream of the day
when I could be a proper barber myself.

You might say that you was
inspiration to me.

So, is we got a deal?

Or should I run down the street
to me old pal, Beadle Bamford?

What do you say to that, now,
Mr. Sweeney Todd?

My, my, my. Always work to be done.

Spic and span, that's my motto.

So, how'd you end up
with that dreadful Italian?

Got me from the workhouse.
Been there since I was born.

Oh, God!
He's got an appointment with his tailor!

If he's late, he'll blame me!


Signor! You got an appointment!

Signor Pirelli's been called away.
Better run after him.

No, sir. I should stay here,
or it'll be a lashing.

He's a great one for the lashings.


- Mrs. Lovett gave you a pie, did she?
- She's a real lady.

That she is.

But if I know a growing boy,
there's still room for more pie, eh?

Yes, sir.

Then why don't you wait
for your master downstairs?

- Be another pie in it for you, I'm sure.
- No, I should stay here.

Tell you what,
why don't you tell Mrs. Lovett

that I said to give you
a nice big tot of gin.

Thank you, sir!

This is the second time, sir,

you have been brought
before this bench.

Though it is my earnest wish ever
to temper justice with mercy,

your persistent dedication
to a life of crime

is an abomination before God and man.

I therefore sentence you
to hang by the neck until you're dead.

And may the Lord
have mercy on your soul.

Court is adjourned.

Thank you, Your Honor.

- Just the sentence we wanted.
- Was he guilty?

Well, if he didn't do it,

he's surely done
something to warrant a hanging.

- What man has not?
- Sorry?

No matter. Come.

Walk home with me.

I have news for you, my friend.

In order to shield her
from the evils of this world,

I have decided to marry
my dear Johanna.

Sir, happy news indeed.

Strange though,

when I offered myself to her,
she showed a certain reluctance.

Excuse me, my lord
May I request, my lord

Permission, my lord, to speak?

Forgive me if I suggest, my lord

You're looking less
than your best, my lord

There's powder upon your vest, my lord
And stubble upon your cheek

And ladies, my lord, are weak

Stubble, you say?

Perhaps I am
a little overhasty in the mornings.

Fret not though, my lord
I know a place, my lord

A barber, my lord, of skill

Thus armed with a shaven face, my lord

Some eau de cologne to grace, my lord

And musk to enhance the chase
my lord

You'll dazzle the girl until


She bows to your every will


Take me to him.

His name is Todd, my lord, and he is
the very last word in barbering.

You ought to slow down a bit, lad.
It'll go straight to your head.

They used to give it to us
in the workhouse

so as we could sleep.

Not that you'd want
to sleep in that place, ma'am.

Not with the things
what happen in the dark.

That's nice, dear.

Think I'll just pop in
on Mr. Todd for a tick.

- You all right, there?
- Leave the bottle.

That lad is drinking me
out of house and home.

How long till Pirelli gets back?

He won't be back.

Mr. T, you didn't.

You're barking mad.
Killing a man what done you no harm.

He recognized me from the old days.
Tried to blackmail me.

Half me earnings.

Oh, well, it's a different matter then.

For a moment there,
I thought you'd lost your marbles.

All that blood.

Poor bugger.

Oh, well.

Well, waste not, want not.

So, what are we gonna do
about the boy then?

Send him up.

Oh, we don't need to worry about him.
He's a simple thing.

Send him up!

Now, Mr. T,
surely one's enough for today.

Besides, I was thinking of hiring the lad
to help me run the shop.

Your poor knees
aren't what they used to be.

All right.

Course, we're gonna
have to stock up on the gin.

Boy drinks like a sailor.

The Judge.

Get out.

Get out!

Mr. Todd?

At your service.

An honor to receive
your patronage, my lord.

You know me, sir?

Who in this wide world
does not know the great Judge Turpin?

These premises
are hardly prepossessing,

and yet the Beadle tells me

you're the most accomplished
of all the barbers in the city.

That is gracious of him, sir.

What may I do for you today, sir?

A stylish trimming of the hair?

Soothing skin massage?

Sit, sir. Sit.

You see, sir, a man infatuate with love
Her ardent and eager slave

So fetch the pomade and pumice stone
And lend me a more seductive tone

A sprinkling perhaps of French cologne
But first, sir, I think

a shave

The closest I ever gave

You're in a merry mood today, Mr. Todd.

'Tis your delight, sir, catching fire
From one man to the next

'Tis true, sir, love can still inspire

The blood to pound
the heart leap higher

- What more
- What more

- can man require than love, sir
- can man require

More than love, sir

- What, sir?
- Women

- Yes, women
- Pretty women

Now then, my friend

Now to your purpose

Patience, enjoy it

Revenge can't be taken in haste

Make haste, and if we wed
You'll be commended, sir

My lord

And who, may it be said
Is your intended, sir?

My ward

A pretty little rosebud.

Pretty as her mother?

What? What was that?

Nothing, sir. Nothing. May we proceed?

Pretty women

Sipping coffee

Pretty women!

Are a wonder

Pretty women

Sitting in the window or

Standing on the stair

Something in them
Cheers the air

Pretty women


Stay within you


Stay forever

Breathing lightly

Pretty women

- Pretty women
- Pretty women

- Blowing out their candles or
- Blowing out their candles or

- Combing out their hair
- Combing out their hair

Then they leave

- Even when they leave...
- Even when they

leave you and vanish...

...they still...
...they somehow can still remain...

...are there, they're there
...there with you

- Pretty women
- Pretty women

- At their mirrors
- In their gardens

- Letter-writing
- Flower-picking


- How they make a man sing
- How they make a man sing

- Proof of heaven
- Proof of heaven

- As you're living
- As you're living

- Pretty women, sir!
- Pretty women, sir!

- Pretty women, yes!
- Pretty women, yes!

- Pretty women, sir
- Pretty women, pretty women

Mr. Todd! I've seen Johanna

and she said
she'd leave with me tonight.


There is indeed a higher power
to warn me thus in time.

Johanna elope with you?

I'll make sure that neither you

nor any other man
shall ever set eyes on her again.

As for you, barber,

it's all too clear
what company you keep.

Service them well
and hold their custom,

for you'll have none of mine.

- Mr. Todd. You have to help me.
- Out.

- Mr. Todd, please.
- Out.

- Mr. Todd!
- Out!

All this shouting and running about.

- What's happened?
- I had him.

The sailor busted in, I know.

And then I saw them both
running down the stairs.

I had him!

His throat was bare beneath my hand

- There, there, dear. Calm down.
- No, I had him!

His throat was there
And he'll never come again!

Easy now. Hush, love, hush

- I'll keep telling you
- When?

- What's your rush?
- Why did I wait?

You told me to wait!
Now he'll never come again!

There's a hole in the world
like a great black pit

And it's filled with people
who are filled with shit

And the vermin of the world inhabit it

But not for long!

They all deserve to die

Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett
Tell you why

Because in all of
the whole human race, Mrs. Lovett

There are two kinds of men
and only two

There's the one staying put
In his proper place

And the one with his foot
In the other one's face

Look at me, Mrs. Lovett, look at you!

No, we all deserve to die

Even you, Mrs. Lovett
Even I

Because the lives of the wicked
should be made brief

For the rest of us, death will be a relief

We all deserve to die

And I'll never see Johanna

No, I'll never hug my girl to me


All right! You, sir. How about a shave?

Come and visit
your good friend Sweeney.

You, sir, too, sir.
Welcome to the grave!

I will have vengeance

I will have salvation

Who, sir?

You, sir? No one's in the chair.
Come on, come on.

Sweeney's waiting! I want you bleeders.

You, sir! Anybody!
Gentlemen, now don't be shy!

Not one man, no, nor ten men

Nor a hundred can assuage me

I will have you

And I will get him back
Even as he gloats

In the meantime
I'll practice on less honorable throats

And my Lucy lies in ashes

And I'll never see my girl again

But the work waits!

I'm alive at last!

And I'm full of joy!

That's all very well,
but what are we gonna do about him?


Do you hear me?

Come on.

You great useless thing.

Sit down.

There. Drink it down.

Now, we got a body
moldering away upstairs.

Now, what do you intend
we should do about that, then?

Later on when it's dark,

we'll take it to some secret place
and bury it.

Oh, yeah. Course we could do that.

Don't suppose he's got any relatives

that's gonna come poking around
looking for him.

Seems a downright shame


Seems an awful waste

Such a nice plump frame
What's his name has

Had, has

Nor it can't be traced

Business needs a lift

Debts to be erased

Think of it as thrift, as a gift

If you get my drift.

Seems an awful waste

I mean, with the price of meat what it is

When you get it, if you get it

Good, you got it

Take, for instance
Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop

Business never better
using only pussycats and toast

Now a pussy's good for
maybe six or seven at the most

And I'm sure they can't
compare as far as taste

Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion
Eminently practical

- And yet appropriate as always
- Well, it does seem a waste

Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived without you
All these years I'll never know!

Think about it

- lots of other gentlemen'll...
- How delectable!

...soon be coming for a shave
- Also undetectable

- Won't they? Think of all them pies!
- How choice! How rare!

For what's the sound
of the world out there?

What, Mr. Todd, what, Mr. Todd
What is that sound?

Those crunching
noises pervading the air?

Yes, Mr. Todd
Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, all around

It's man devouring man, my dear

- And who are we to deny it in here?
- And who are we to deny it in here?

These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett.

And desperate measures are called for.

Here we are, hot out of the oven.

What is that?

It's priest
Have a little priest

- Is it really good?
- Sir, it's too good, at least

Then again
they don't commit sins of the flesh

So it's pretty fresh

Awful lot of fat

Only where it sat

Haven't you got poet
or something like that?

No, you see the trouble with poet is
how do you know it's deceased?

Try the priest

Lawyer's rather nice.

If it's for a price

Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice

Anything that's lean?

Well, then, if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine

Anyway, it's clean

Though, of course
it tastes of wherever it's been

Is that squire on the fire?

Mercy no, sir, look closer
You'll notice it's grocer

Looks thicker
More like vicar

No, it has to be grocer
It's green

The history of the world, my love

Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors

Is those below serving those up above

Everybody shaves
So there should be plenty of flavors

How gratifying for once to know

- That those above
- That those above

- will serve those down below!
- Will serve those down below!

What is that?

It's fop
Finest in the shop

Or we have some shepherd's pie
peppered with actual shepherd on top

And I've just begun

Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily, have one

Put it on a bun

Well, you never know if it's going to run

Try the friar, fried, it's drier

No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy

Then actor
It's compacter

But always arrives overdone

I'll come again
when you have judge on the menu.

Have charity towards the world, my pet

Yes, yes, I know, my love

We'll take the customers
that we can get

High-born and low, my love

We'll not discriminate great from small

No, we'll serve anyone

- We'll serve anyone
- Meaning anyone

- And to anyone at all!
- And to anyone at all!

So, it's true.

Sir, a gentleman knocks
before entering a lady's room.

Indeed he does, but I see no lady.

I told myself the sailor was lying,

that my Johanna would never betray me,
never hurt me so.

Sir, I will leave this place.

I think that only appropriate

since you no longer find
my company to your liking.

We shall provide you with new lodgings.

Until this moment I have spared the rod.

But the ungrateful child
has broken my heart.

When you've learned
to appreciate what you have,

perhaps we shall meet again.

Until then

think on your sins.


No, please!

Johanna! Where are you taking her?
Tell me or I swear I'll...

You'd kill me, boy? Here I stand!


I feel you


I feel you

Do they think that walls can hide you?

Even now, I'm at your window

I am in the dark beside you

Buried sweetly in your yellow hair


And are you beautiful and pale

With yellow hair, like her?

I'd want you beautiful and pale

The way I've dreamed you were

And if you're beautiful
what then with yellow hair, like wheat

I think we shall not meet again

My little dove, my sweet Johanna

I'll steal you, Johanna!

Goodbye, Johanna!

You're gone, and yet you're mine

I'm fine, Johanna

- I'm fine!
- Johanna

Smoke! Smoke! Sign of the devil
Sign of the devil. City on fire!

Witch! Witch! Smell it, sir
An evil smell

Every night at the vespers bell

Smoke that comes from
the mouth of hell

City on fire!

City on fire

Mischief! Mischief! Mischief!

And if I never hear your voice
My turtledove, my dear

I still have reason to rejoice
The way ahead is clear


I feel

And in that darkness when I'm blind
With what I can't forget


It's always morning in my mind

My little lamb, my pet, Johanna

- You stay, Johanna...
- Johanna

... the way I've dreamed you are

Oh, look, Johanna! A star!

Buried sweetly in your yellow hair

A shooting star!

There, there, somebody, somebody
look up there. Didn't I tell you?

Smell that air. City on fire!

Quick, sir, run and tell
Warn them all of the witch's spell

There it is, there it is, the unholy smell

Tell it to the Beadle and police as well
Tell them! Tell them

Help, fiend! City on fire!

City on fire

Mischief. Mischief.

And though I'll think of you, I guess
Until the day I die

I think I miss you less and less
As every day goes by

- Johanna
- Johanna

And you'd be beautiful and pale
And look too much like her

If only angels could prevail
We'd be the way we were

- Johanna
- I feel you, Johanna

Wake up, Johanna

Another bright red day

We learn, Johanna, to say


I'll steal


Ladies and gentlemen
May I have your attention, please?

Are your nostrils a-quiver
and tingling as well

At that delicate
luscious ambrosial smell?

Yes, they are, I can tell

Well, ladies and gentlemen
That aroma enriching the breeze

Is like nothing
compared to its succulent source

As the gourmets among you
will tell you, of course

Ladies and gentlemen
You can't imagine the rapture in store

Just inside of this door!

There you'll sample
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies

Savory and sweet pies
As you'll see

You who eat pies
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies

Conjure up the treat
pies used to be!

- Toby!
- Coming!

- Ale there!
- Right, ma'am!

Quick, now!

Nice to see you, dearie
How have you been keeping?

Cor, me bones is weary
Toby! One for the gentleman

Hear the birdies cheeping
Helps to keep it cheery

Toby! Throw the old woman out!

What's my secret?
Frankly, dear, forgive my candor

Family secret
All to do with herbs

Things like being
careful with your coriander

That's what makes the gravy grander!

That's what makes the gravy grander!

Eat them slow and feel the crust
How thin she rolled it

Eat them slow
'cause every one's a prize!

Eat them slow 'cause that's the lot
and now we've sold it!

Come again tomorrow!

Hold it!

Bless my eyes!

Fresh supplies!

- How about it, dearie?
- Is that a pie...

- Be here in a twinkling!
...fit for a king

- Just confirms me theory, Toby!
- A wondrous sweet

- and most delectable thing?
- God watches over us

Didn't have an inkling, positively eerie

You see, ma'am
why there's no meat pie

Toby! Throw the old woman out!

Still got to keep an eye
on the household expenditure.

Which isn't to say we couldn't get
some nice taxidermy animals,

bring a touch of gentility to the place.

You know, a boar's head or two?

- Mr. T? You listening to me?
- Of course.

- Then what did I just say?
- There must be a way to the Judge.

Judge. Always harping
on the bloody old judge.

We got a nice
respectable business now.

Money coming in regular-like.

And since we're careful
to pick and choose,

strangers, people who won't be missed,
who's gonna catch on?

Mr. Todd, I'm so happy

I could eat you up, I really could

You know what I'd like to do, Mr. Todd?
What I dream?

If the business stays as good
Where I'd really like to go

In a year or so?
Don't you want to know?

Of course.

Do you really want to know?

Yes, I do.

By the sea, Mr. Todd
That's the life I'll covet

By the sea, Mr. Todd
Oh, I know you'd love it

You and me, Mr. T, we could be alone
In a house what we'd almost own

- Down by the sea
- Anything you say

Wouldn't that be smashing?

Think how snug it'll be
Underneath our flannel

When it's just you and me
And the English Channel

In our cozy retreat
Kept all neat and tidy

We'll have chums over every Friday
By the sea

Don't you love the weather
by the sea?

We'll grow old together

By the seaside
By the beautiful sea

It'll be so quiet that who'll come by it

except a seagull?

We shouldn't try it
though, till it's legal for two!

But a seaside wedding could be devised

Me rumpled bedding legitimized

Me eyelids'll flutter, I'll turn into butter
The moment I mutter "I do!"

Will you take this woman
to be your lawfully wedded wife?

You may kiss your bride.

Down by the sea
Married nice and proper

By the sea
Bring along your chopper

To the seaside
By the beautiful sea

I brought you some breakfast, dear.

Mr. T? Can I ask you a question?


What did your Lucy look like?

Can't really remember, can you?

She had yellow hair.

You gotta leave this all behind,
you know.

She's gone.

Life is for the alive, my dear.

We could have a life, us two.

Maybe not like I dreamed.

Maybe not like you remember.

But we could get by.

- Mr. Todd! Mrs. Lovett, ma'am?
- What is it, Anthony?

- He has her locked in a madhouse.
- Johanna.

Fogg's Asylum.

I've circled the place a dozen times.
There's no way in. It's a fortress.

- I've got him.
- Mr. Todd?

We've got her.

Where do you suppose
all the wigmakers

in London go to obtain their hair?


- They get it from the lunatics at Bedlam.
- I don't understand.

We shall set you up
as a wigmaker's apprentice.

That'll gain you access.
And then you take her.

Go, quickly, go!

Fetch the boy.

Don't you think you should
leave the boy behind?

- Toby. Mr. Todd needs you.
- Yes, ma'am.

Mr. T?

- Do you know where the Old Bailey is?
- Yes, sir. Not that I ever been there.

Take this there.
Seek out a Judge Turpin. Repeat that.

Go to Old Bailey. Find Judge Turpin.

You put that into his hands.
Only to him, you understand?

Yes, sir.

And while I'm out, do you mind
if I stop by the grocer just to pick...

No. You're not to stop,
you're not to speak.

You're to deliver the letter.
Do you understand?

Yes, sir.

Where you been, lad?

We had quite the rush at dinner time.
Me poor bones is ready to drop.

Mr. Todd sent me on an errand.

And on the way back,

I went by the workhouse,
just to take a look.

And I was thinking, but for you,
I'd be there now.

Or someplace worse.

Seems like the good Lord
sent you for me.

Oh, love, I feel quite the same way.

Listen to me, please.

You know there's nothing
I wouldn't do for you.

Say, if there were someone around,

someone bad?

Only you didn't know it.

What is this?
What are you talking about?

Nothing's gonna harm you
Not while I'm around

Nothing's gonna harm you
No, sir, not while I'm around

What do you mean "someone bad"?

Demons are prowling everywhere

I'll send them howling, I don't care
I got ways

Hush, darling, there's no need for this.

No one's gonna hurt you
No one's gonna dare

Others can desert you
Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there

Demons will charm you
With a smile

For a while, but in time

Nothing can harm you

Not while I'm around

That's nice, dear.

Now, what is all this foolishness?
What are you talking about?

Little things that
I've been thinking about Mr. Todd.

Not to worry, not to worry
I may not be smart, but I ain't dumb

I can do it, put me to it
Show me something I can overcome

Not to worry, ma'am

Being close and being clever
Ain't like being true

I don't need to, I won't never
Hide a thing from you

Like some

Now, Toby, dear, haven't we
had enough of this foolish chatter?


How about I give you
a nice shiny new penny

and you go get us some toffees?

That's Signor Pirelli's purse!

No, it's not. Just something Mr. T
gave me for my birthday.

That proves it! We gotta go, ma'am.

We gotta find the Beadle
and get the law here!

Toby. Hush, lad,
you're not going anywhere.

You just sit here, nice and quiet,
next to me. That's right, right.

How could you think
such a thing of Mr. Todd?

He's been so good to us.

Nothing's gonna harm you
Not while I'm around

Nothing's gonna harm you, darling
Not while I'm around

Demons'll charm you with a smile
For a while

But in time

Nothing's gonna harm you

Not while I'm around

Funny we should be having
this little chat right now.

'Cause I was just thinking...

You know how you've always fancied
coming into the bake house with me

- to help make the pies?
- Yes, ma'am.

Well, no time like the present, eh?

I feel bad for you, going up
and down all these stairs.

- Well, that'll be your job now.
- Yes, ma'am.

Quite a stink, ain't there?

You see those grates?

They go right down to the sewers,
and the smells come up.

Always a few rats gone home
to Jesus down there.

Now, this'll be the bake oven.
Three dozen at a time.

Always be sure
the door is closed properly, like this.

- Door's closed properly.
- This is a grinder.

Pop in the meat. Give it a good grind.

Pops out there.

You try.

Good grind.

Comes out there.

That's my boy.

I'm just gonna pop upstairs,
back in two shakes, all right?

You mind if I have a pie while I wait?

As many as you like, son.

Yes, sir, I agree.

It would be to our mutual interest

to come to some arrangement
in regard to my poor children's hair.



I keep the blondes in here.

It was yellow hair
you was looking for, sir?


- That one there has the shade I need.
- Come, child.

Smile for the gentleman
and you shall have a sweetie.

Now, where shall I cut?

Not another word, Mr. Fogg,
or it will be your last.

Now, I leave you
to the mercy of your children.

I got him locked in.
But if he escapes, he'll go to the law.

- Then he won't escape.
- I don't know, Mr. Todd.

The Judge'll be here soon.

'Scuse me, sir. Gave me a fright.

Not my intention, good madam.
I assure you.

Though I am here on official business.

You see, there's been some complaints
about the stink from your chimney.

They say at night
it is something most foul.

Health regulations
and the general public welfare

naturally being my duty,

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take a look

at your bakehouse.

Of course, sir.

But first, why don't you come upstairs?
Let me pamper you.

Much as I do appreciate
tonsorial doormen

I really ought to see
to my official obligations first.

I completely understand.

If you'll indulge me, sir,
what is that exotic aroma?

Me secret, is a touch of ambergris.

Dare I offer you something
a tad more appropriate

for a gentleman of your standing?

The ladies will greatly appreciate it, sir.

You're the expert in these matters.

Only take a moment.

Would you like a bit of bay rum, sir?

Bay rum is very bracing.

Let me out! Please, let me out!

Let me out!


Where is he?

Toby, where are you, love?


Nothing's gonna harm you

Not while I'm around


Where are you hiding?


Nothing's gonna harm you, darling

Not while I'm around


Mr. Todd!

You wait for him here.

I'll return with a coach
in less than half an hour.

Don't worry. No one'll recognize you.
You're safe now.

Safe? So, we run away
and then all our dreams come true?

I hope so.

I've never had dreams. Only nightmares.


when we're free of this place
all the ghosts will go away.

No, Anthony. They never go away.

I'll be right back to you.
Half an hour and we'll be free.

Beadle! Beadle!

No good hiding, I saw you

Are you in there still, Beadle?

Beadle, dear Beadle?

Beadle deedle deedle
deedle deedle dumpling

Beadle dumpling...

Who are you?
What are you doing here?

Evil is here, sir.

The stink of evil, from below, from her!
Oh, she's the Devil's wife.

Beware her, sir.
She with no pity in her heart.

Don't I know you, mister?

Mr. Todd?

Where is she?

Below, Your Honor. With my neighbor.

Thank heavens
the sailor did not molest her.

Thank heavens, too,
she has seen the error of her ways.

- She has?
- Oh, yes.

Your lesson was well-learned.

She speaks only of you.
Longing for forgiveness.

Then she shall have it.

- She'll be here soon, you say?
- Yes.

Excellent, my friend.

How about a shave?

Sit, sir. Sit.

- Oh, pretty women
- Pretty women, yes

Johanna, Johanna

Pretty women
Pretty women are a wonder

Pretty women!

What we do for pretty women!

- Blowing out their candles
- Blowing out their candles

- Or combing out their hair
- Or combing out their hair

Then they leave

- Even when they leave
- Even when they leave you and vanish

- They still are there
- They somehow can still remain

- There with you, there
- They're there

How seldom it is
one meets a fellow spirit.

With fellow tastes in women, at least.

What's that?

The years, no doubt,
have changed me, sir.

But then, I suppose the face of a barber,

the face of a prisoner,
a dog, is not particularly memorable.

Benjamin Barker.

Benjamin Barker!

Rest now, my friend

Rest now forever

Sleep now the untroubled

Sleep of the angels

Come for a shave, have you, lad?

No, I...

Everyone needs a good shave.

Forget my face.

Die! God in heaven, die!


Why did you scream?

He was clutching onto me dress,
but he's finished now.

I'll take care of it. Open the door.

Open the door, I said.

"Don't I know you?" she said.

You knew she lived.

I was only thinking of you.

You lied to me.

No, no, not lied at all
No, I never lied

- Lucy...
- Said she took a poison

she did, never said that she died

- I've come home again
- Poor thing, she lived

But it left her weak in the head

All she did for months
was just lie there in bed

Should've been in hospital

Wound up in Bedlam instead
Poor thing!

- Better you should think she was dead
- Oh, my God!

Yes, I lied 'cause I love you!

- I'd be twice the wife she was!
- Lucy...

- I love you!
- What have I done?

Could that thing have
cared for you like me?

Mrs. Lovett, you're a bloody wonder
Eminently practical

And yet appropriate as always
As you've said repeatedly

There's little point in dwelling
on the past

- Now, come here, my love...
- Do you mean it?

Everything I did, I swear, I thought

- was only for the best
- Not a thing to fear

- my love, what's dead Is dead
- Can we still be married?

The history of the world, my pet

Oh, Mr. Todd, oh, Mr. Todd
Leave it to me

Is learn forgiveness and try to forget

By the sea, Mr. Todd
We'll be comfy-cozy

By the sea, Mr. Todd
Where there's no one nosy

And life is for the alive, my dear
So let's keep living it

- Just keep living it, really living it!
- Just keep living it, really living it!

There was a barber and his wife

And she was beautiful

A foolish barber and his wife

She was his reason and his life

And she was beautiful

And she was virtuous

And he was...

Special thanks to SergeiK.