How The Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the How The Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer script is here for all you fans of the America Ferrera movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some How The Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

How The Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer Script


Good morning!

Good morning.





Blanca, get in here

and say hello to your Nana.

Oh! She is driving me crazy!

Let her be.

They ran out of the tomatoes

that were on sale,

so I got you some other ones.

And I can't stay for long.

I gotta go open the shop.

Hey, and what is that

hunk of junk sitting outside?

It's mine.


The car. It's mine.

You're joking, right?

No. I bought it.

With what?

I had some money saved up.

What money?

You can barely survive on your

Social Security checks.

I've been saving a little

here, a little there...

What is it that you need

that you need to buy a car?

I can fit this whatever it is

into my schedule.


You don't even know

how to drive.

I can learn.

I'm not that old.

Seņora Rodriguez still drives,

and she's only five years

younger than me.

So she says.

She's been driving

her whole life.

I... I thought...

maybe you can teach me.

Oh, forget it.

I don't want any part of this.

Trust me, it's for

your own good, okay?

The car goes.

Your grandmother

has gone crazy.

Your grandmother,

she's driving me crazy!


Did you see the monstrosity

that she bought?

You mean that car is hers?

Not for long.

I thought it was cool.


Do you want your Nana

to kill herself?

She doesn't even know

how to drive.

Mom, what's the big deal?

She'll just learn.

I don't know what

got into her head.

Maybe she's lonely.


How could she be lonely?

She has us, doesn't she?

What more does she want?

Give us some candy.

Two tostadas!

Who's gonna pay

for all this?


What can you give us

for free?


You really shouldn't take

the name of the Lord in vain.

Fuck off, Rose.

So, we saw your abuela's

new hotrod.

How do you know about that?

Please. You can't fart in

this town without everyone

smelling it.

That's true.

So, what do you think God

thinks about farts?

Leave her alone.

What? I just figured

a future nun would...

She's not a nun yet.

Yeah, when are you gonna

tell your parents?

I don't know. They're kinda

set on me going to college.

They want me to be

the first Reyes to go.

New face.

Who do you think he's after?

Maybe he wants to do you.

What makes you say that?

Please. Ever since you

sprouted those, you've become

a hot commodity.

Okay, what about yours?

Until Mercy loses that ass of

hers, no boy's gonna be

chasing her.

My mother says there's

nothing wrong with a little

meat on your bones.

Of course she would say that.

Your boyfriend's here.

He's not my boyfriend.

Thank you.

Doesn't he creep you out?


Hi. I wanted to get

a head start on the pork

in the back.

Oh, I'm...

I'm sorry.

I got it.

You were... you were smiling.


When you came in...

you were smiling.

It's been a while since...

It was nice.

Well, there isn't very much

to smile about around here.

I'm surrounded by a bunch of

smelly pigs all day.


I know.

That's not what I meant.

I'm not made for eating,

I know that.

We couldn't get a very good

batch of chorizo from here.

Your father, he couldn't

stand the smell either.

He used to place his chair


He figured if anyone wanted to

place an order, it was just as

good a place as any.

It just gave him better

access to pinching the ladies'

asses as they passed by.

At least that's what people

would say.


I better get back to work.

These pigs won't cut themselves.


Chica. Como estas?

Guess what your mother

did this morning?

She bought a car.

You knew?

Of course I knew...

she's my mother.

And you let her?

Hey, guess what!

She already knows.

What are you doing here?

Where's Maria?

My husband keeps

running off the help.

The other day he sat down on her

lap like it was no big deal.

Scared the living daylights

out of the girl.

She didn't come back the next

day or the day after that.

I told Victor he has to quit

scaring away the help.

I don't mind cooking and

cleaning once in a while,

but every day? No.

Give me a fresh chicken, please.

Jose Luis!

Get me a fresh chicken.

You better keep an eye

on your mother.

First a car, and then

who knows what?

Yeah. Remember Doņa Loda?

She got the little dog to keep

her company after her

children left?

Well, you saw what happened.

She now has twelve. Inbreds.

And their heads are so big for

their body, and all they do

is yap.

Are you saying my mother

is gonna end up with a fleet

of cars?

Well, Doņa Petra

got her boobs done

when she turned sixty.

She did not get

her breasts done.

I don't know why

she bothers.

Nobody wants to touch 'em.

She did not get

her breasts done.

They are padded.

Just like yours.

And anyway, um...

Ama has been talking about

getting this car for a while,

and I just, you know,

I don't see the harm in it.

Well, I'm just saying

you should be careful.

I'm done.

I'll be back next week.

Thank you, Don Pedro.

You know,

I can help you with this.

The car. I have a license.

I can teach you how to drive.

That isn't necessary.

What? You afraid I'll...

dirty the car?

Oh, no, that isn't it at all.

Of course not!


Then what?


Then we'll start next week.

But... but... I...

I can't pay you!

No mujer, es un favor.

No, no, no, no!


you turn it on.

Tell your mom to buy

a washer already.

Why would she,

when she has me?

Let's call someone.

There's nobody to call.

What about Jose?

Jose #1 or Jose #2?

Get in.

Where are you going?

What's it to you?

I'm not going without

my friend.

Which one's your friend?

It's your pick.


Nice tits.

What? What did you say?

I said, nice tits.

Okay, okay, I heard you

the first time.

You're a real conversationalist.

Sure. I'll be whatever

you want me to be.

Can we go now?

Five more minutes, okay?

So, um, how long are you


Supposedly forever.


Yeah. I'm here to help out

my uncle at his garage.

But there's not much

to do here, huh?

Um... No, not really.

Yeah. I don't think I can

last here much longer.

You've been here two weeks.

How'd you know that?

Everybody knows everything

around here.

What else have you heard?

That you got some girl in

trouble, and you're here

hiding out.

I'm not hiding... ohh!

Stupid small town people.


I'm sorry.

Anyway, I don't really care

why you're here.

You don't?

No, I mean, so what if

there's another girl?

She has nothing to do with me.


You know you like me.

You know I'm a funny,

nice guy.

Come on.

What I would do to hips

like yours... Mwah!

I don't think you should be

talking to me like that.

Oh, jeez, Sal, we picked

ourselves up a couple of


What's your problem?

Shut up, virgin!

Please! I can smell you

from a block away.

I think you should

take us home now.


Hey, hi.

Yeah, hey, you wanna, um,

come over and play some cards

or something?

Let him cook his own dinner.

Oh, no, that's okay.

No, it's okay.

Thanks. Bye.

Hey, Nora, hi.

Um, you wanna come over

and, um, you know, have

a couple of drinks

or something?

I, uh, I got plenty of beer.

Oh, well, they can

come over too.

They can play over in

Blanca's room.


That's okay.

Yeah, I'll see you around.

Okay. Bye.

# (man singing love song

in Spanish) #

Do you think it's true

what they said?


That he can smell a virgin

a block away?

Don't be stupid.

They're just being jerks.





Mom, come on.

No! God.

Just... no, leave me alone.

Mom, go to bed. Come on.

Up. Up, up, up, up, up.

Oh, jeez.

Come on.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

You know, Mom, you should

really get yourself a boyfriend.

Yeah, like that's gonna solve

all my problems.

No, actually, it wouldn't,

but at least it would give you

something to do on

Saturday nights.

Just keep your legs shut.

What does that have to do

with anything?

Boys your age

only want one thing.

Any age, really.

That is the biggest cliche.

Honey, cliches exist

for a reason... that's because

they're true.'Night.

All right, good night.

No, no, no!

You're doing it all wrong!

You have to put in the first

gear all the way in, first.

Perhaps my daughter is right.

I'm too old for this.

No, no, no.

No, no.

She's wrong.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Something wrong?


I'm sorry about your son.

I know.

I tried calling you, uh,

but, uh...

They told me you weren't

taking calls.

Your mother-in-law said

you were going crazy.

I was.

No mas llorando y fumando,

fumando y llora, y llora

y llora.

I wouldn't eat...

I wouldn't shower...

And my husband had to take

care of my little girl.

I was no longer cooking

for either one of them.

Then I saw my face in the

mirror, and I didn't

recognize myself.


My cheekbones had gotten

so boney.

I tried on my wedding dress...

which hadn't fit me since

the day I wore it,

and it was baggy.

Miguel came home and saw me

like that...

and I told him...

"don't I look pretty?

Just like the day we first met."

And that was the only time

that he cried.

How did you snap out of it?

I heard my little girl tell

Miguel that she wished

that she had died...

then her mommy wouldn't

be so sad.

I cleaned myself up

that very night.

And that's how it was.


You go ahead and you say hi to

Miguel and Ana for me. Okay?


No. No.


Lolita, gracias.



Uh, what are you doing here?

Your wife just, uh,

bought some meat a couple

of days ago.

I'm not here for the meat.

Lolita, if you sold beets,

I'd be eating beets every day.

Same thing with ice cream...

all the time.

I don't care... nails, wood...


Um, we just...

anything you got to sell,

I would be buying.

We just sell meat here,

so what will it be?

How about a smile?

One. Come on.

A little smile.

All right, give me a pound

of chorizo.

Um, Jose Luis,

a pound of chorizo, please.

So, um...

That'll be a dollar.

A dollar?

A dollar.

It says ninety-nine cents.

I'll give you change.

Thank you very much.



Special thanks to SergeiK.