Humboldt County Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Humboldt County script is here for all you fans of the Jeremy Strong and Fairuza Balk movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Humboldt County quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

Humboldt County Script

When I came home from the clinic,
everyone was asleep.

Normally they'd hear my truck.

We live in the middle of nowhere.

I parked it about
a half a mile down the road

and I walked home.
But my boyfriend heard.


He hears everything.

When he came in to
see what was wrong,

I just tried to pretend
to be asleep.

But I couldn't
hold it in.

I started to cry.

Go on.


I was bawling my eyes out.

He held me.

And I wished--

I wished
I hadn't done it.

I wished--

It was still inside me
and it was still alive.


I've had four of them now.

I don't know why,
but when I make love

I can't feel anything.

- Shh!

- Sometimes I think--
- Mmm.


I can't really see

a reason to keep trying,

to keep going.

Aren't you supposed
to say something?

I mean, I just told you

I'm thinking about
killing myself

and have no
reason to live.

Um, yeah.

I think a
prescription of, uh,

Paxil, uh, might
be the uh,

the right



Anything else, Peter?


Um, "...can't
feel anything...

...reason to
keep going..."



All right. Sandra,
you're up next.


He said you
should go in now.

Oh, thanks.

He's a bit of a
curmudgeon, isn't he?

He's-- he's not so bad.

I have something
for you.

- Here.
- Peter?

Later, alligator.

This an acceptance
into one of the best

residency programs
in the country.

I was hoping this meeting
would be a celebration.

But I--
I have to fail you.


I can try harder.

I've been studying nonstop.

I haven't slept
in three days.

I'm doing rounds, I--

- I'm a little--
- If today's exam had been real,

you would have put
a life in danger.

And although I believe you
could make a great doctor,

I have my own
moral imperative.

But Dad,

if I fail,
I won't graduate.

I'll lose the residency.


we worked so hard for this.

I'm unbelievably




-  will you please tell me 
-  what? 

 if you
gonna be my baby? 

 I'm the girl for you,
so you better start facing it 

 if you ever lose my love,
you know you can't replace it 

 I think it's time for you
to start giving me some loving 

 'cause I'm carrying a crush
for you that's hotter than an oven 

 it's time for you and me
to do a little bit of lovin' 

 baby, hold me tight
and do what I tell ya! 

-  I 
-  I 

-  I want 
-  I want 

-  I want you 
-  I want you 

-  I want you to 
-  I want you to 

-  I want you to be 
-  what? 

 I want you
to be my baby 

-  now now will 
-  will 

-  will you 
-  will you 

-  will you please 
-  will you please 

-  will you please tell 
-  will you please tell 

-  will you please tell me 
-  what? 

-  will you please tell me 
-  what? 

-  will you please tell me 
-  what? 

 when you
gonna be my baby? 

Thank you, everybody.

Thank you.

My band!

That place was too noisy--

Puts my brain in such a huff.


So, you're an actress
or a singer or something?

Those are just little gigs
when I'm coming through L.A.

- Mmm.
- You seem so sad.

Oh, um, my name's
Peter Hadley.

- Hi, Peter Hadley.
- Hi.

I'm Bogart.

Is that your real name?


Uh, oh, um--

Er er--
you're trapped!


Oh, sorry.

I should tell you,
I've never really, uh--

I mean, um--

I don't know how
to put this.

I don't really
have any money.

Do you take checks?

Oh, wow!

Oh my God.

Peter Hadley!
Oh, wow!

- I feel terrible.
- Oh my God!

Oh, Peter Hadley.

I'm sorry.

Man, oh man, can't a girl
just have casual sex anymore

without being labeled
some kind of a--

- No no no.
- But--

No no no.
I mean, yes.

Uh, yes, casual sex.
I just--

- I just, um--
- Yay.

I just didn't think
you were actually interested.

Huh. Peter Hadley.

I'm sorry.

You're just not too good
with people yet, are you?

What do you--

What are you doing?

Going for a drive.

Where are you going?

Going home.
Want to come with me?

Are you sure
you want to come?


It's a long drive.
Are you sure you want to come?


Okay. Do you need anything?



 call in
the air strike 

 tell them
to make the drop 

 initiate a cycle 

 no one but you can stop 

 and is that enough? 

 I bet you feel
really potent stuff 

 the shadows of doubt 

 on how things turn out 

 are typically gray 

 but even the stopped clock
on the wall 

 is right two times a day 

 and it's still unknown 

 just how much distance
means we're on our own 

 and can we be happy? 


Where are we?


Is this Malibu?


They call this
the last coast.

It won't be last for much
longer, I can tell you.

Wal-Mart is marching in.

Oh God!

Are we chasing someone?

And don't be fooled
by the whole


you know, spirit-thing.

People that have moved here take the
business of marijuana very serious, you know?

Wait. Marijuana?

Like drug, uh, pushers?

"Drug pushers."
No, growers, farmers, you know.

Not me. I got out.

Here, grab the wheel
for a second.

Uh, I think that's a--

We're fine, we're fine.
You're good.

Thank you.

Should you be
smoking while we're--

Oh yeah, believe me,

I need it.

It's all gravy in the navy.

Are you ready?


Uh, Bogart?




Oh God!

Fuck you!

Oh God.

Fuck you, motherfucker!

Jack, put down
the fucking gun!

What is going on here?

Oh, Rosie's roses were so beautiful this year.
They were just beautiful.

They were gorgeous.

And then this little cocksucker

What is it, Jack?

How many times have I told you

not to sneak up on us like that?

Now you march yourself out here

- right now, little miss!
- God damn it, Jack!

- You could have killed our--!
- Sorry, Grandpa.

I was just playing.

Oh, Annabelle!

You are getting so big
I can't carry you.

Where's your daddy?

- Come on inside.
- Hi.

Earl Earl Earl!

Good to see you, buddy.

It's good to see you, man.

Yeah, been a while.

- Hey.
- Looking good.

So are you.

Good God.

Hi there.

Are you a kitty cat?

Oh, no thank you.

Thank you.

Putting dogs on leashes
is a goddamn shame.

Think about it--
dogs, wild animals,

But it isn't
just that we put

these beautiful creatures
on leashes

that really
pisses me off.

It's the completely frightening fact
that we have created an environment

where if we don't put
the dogs on the leashes

they'll walk into the street
and get killed by a car.

Two-ton slabs of metal hurtling at
high speed down a concrete path--

Those aren't supposed
to exist in nature.

They aren't natural.



You should try some.
It takes the city edge right off.

I'm fine.

Let's get you started off.

Hey, sweater vest,
you one of Bogart's strays?

- Um, yeah.
- Yes?

You know you're nothing special.

Thank you.
I'll keep that in mind.

You know, she might not
want to talk to you--

You guys, you go easy on him.

Just saying hello.

Hey, Bogey, haven't seen you in a while.
How's it going?

You're looking very Humboldt, Steve-O.

Thank you very much.


So what's been going on
with you guys?

Aw, you know, the usual shit.
We're fixing up the place.

We got an HDTV. It's huge.
It's fucking monstrous.

- Listen, I--
- Oh, we're also going in together

with Max on an ATV this summer.

I'm not going in
on shit with you guys.

Well, you must be saving
up for something, right?

I haven't seen you
in town much, Max.

Can I have a word?

Fellas, I've been busy.

- It's been busy.
- Excuse me--

Busy, yeah, whatever.

Hey, listen, we got a new sound system.
You guys want to check it out?

- Yeah, we got a subwoofer.
- This thing is awesome.

- Bogart--
- It's huge. It's got like four speakers...


- It's the subwoofer--
- Right, it's the subwoofer.

- Subwoofer?
- Yeah. Let's check it out.

- Check it out?
- Come on.

- How many speakers?
- Bogart!

I need to go home.

Oh, here we go!

The Genny's going.
Genny's going.

Genny's going.

Listen, I'll give you a ride to the
bus stop in the morning, okay?

- I love you, daddy. Good night.
- Good night.

Charity, honey, can you
show Peter where he can crash?

I'll follow you?

It's a little hard to see.
I'm sorry.

Hey, why do they
call your mom Bogart?

Uh, she's not my mom.


Because she Bogarts the pot.


A verb which means
to hold instead of pass.

You shouldn't know
about all this stuff.

What stuff?

All the, uh,

the marijuana.

It's just a plant.

Yeah, but you're so young.

I think it's nicer than beer.

You're funny.

Where is your mother?

She died a long time ago.


- So, Bogart--
- She's kind of like my aunt.

Her parents left, so my grandma and grandpa
adopted her when she was little.


My daddy and her have sex.


They say it's okay to have sex
with other people,

but I don't think
they really mean it.


Did you have sex with Bogart?

Uh, did I--

- I don't feel comfortable talking--
- Okay.

So, do you want me
to read you a book?

What do you have?

Oh, here's my favorite.

How about
"the closing of the American mind"?

That'll do.



You should help me
with my crop.

How much are you growing?

How much? Uh--

A lot?

More than a lot.

- Nnnn...
- No, but I've got a system, okay?

- Max, no!
- I just need a couple of hands at the end.

You know that a big crop is messy.

- You know that people notice.
- Jesus Christ,

you sound like fuckin' Jack.

Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.
- Oh!

Babe, once I get this harvest done...

Charity, she'll have a real home.

Then I'm gonna farm a legal crop,
I swear to you.

It sounds good, baby, it does.

- But--
- But what?

What would I do?
Where would I stay?

You'd stay with me.


Why not?


Because why?

God damn it, man!
It's this place.

It's beautiful, Max, but it's a fuckin' trap.
I can't be here!

So what are you gonna do,
go to another city and sing a few more songs

until you pick up another
little parasitic fuck--

- Ugh. You know--
- What is that guy?

- What's his name again?
- Peter. His name's Peter.

- Oh, you know his name. That's interesting.
- Yeah, I know his name.

- 'cause normally you don't even know his fucking name!
- Why are you doing this?

Why am I doing what,
asking you to stay?

Trying to figure out once and for all
why you won't,

or you don't, or you can't--

I just can't.


- I love you.
- I love you too. I love you too.

Hey, get up!

- Get up! They shot 'em!
- Huh?

For the drugs!
Man, they're all dead.

- We gotta get the fuck out of here.
- What?

- The drugs, man! We're fucked!
- Oh my God!

- We gotta get the fuck out!
- Oh my God!!!

Daddy, Peter...

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

Yeah, we outta here!

We're out of here.
Good morning!

Good morning!
"oh my God!"

Oh my God!
It hurts, it hurts me!

What do you mean she's gone?

Like the wind.

She rarely stays for more than a night.

A child of Humboldt either can't
leave or can't stay.

- I might have pissed her off a little. 
- Is she coming back?

She might--
yeah, she'll be back in like a week--

- Or a year.
- 10 years.

10 years.

No service. Fuck!


- Oh, sorry.
- That's okay.

Thank you.

- Are these too burnt?
- That looks okay.

I think you really like them burnt,
so I don't know.

Uh, hi, Dad.

It's Peter.

I'm um--

Right now I'm--

This is funny.

You're gonna think
this is really funny but, um--

You see, there was this--

Yeah. I think that's
kind of toasty, though.

Dad, it's me, Peter, again.

Listen, I'm um--

Listen, I know there's some way
to sort this all out,

And I'm going to handle it.
I don't want you to worry.

I've just got to get back to L.A.

See, I'm, well--
I'm not--

These are good.

- Right now I'm in the middle of--
- Banana?

of the um--

well, it's like I was saying,
there was th--

Okay, I've really got
to get out of here.

I'll take you to town when I get
back from the store.

Um, no, you don't understand.

Be back in a half hour.

Stay put.

Eat up, Charity.


Okay, that's 100 back.
Here's your receipt.

Oh God.

Oh, this is--

I'm in a house of crazy people.

Um, Mr. Truman?


Yes, I can hear you.
Must I acknowledge?

Oh, uh, I can't
seem to find the bathroom.

Why are we stopping?

Jack said he saw some tweakers.

I just want to check on my plants.

- Oh.
- Stay here. I'll be right back.



Max? Max?

We gotta get to the bus station.


- Max, the bus leaves in--
- Patience. Virtue. Et cetera.


Where have you been?

Oh, shit.

It is late.
It is late.

I'll tell you,
this business,

I mean, it's
very unpredictable.

- I'm on call too.
- Can we go?

I gotta get to the bus station.

I'm filled with guilt about this one,
I really am.

- You missed the last bus.
- What?

Not a lot of options here.

This is cold.

- I missed the bus.
- Not a lot of options here.

Oh, Jesus.

I would have been back
sooner, man,

but I ran into an irrigation issue.

I missed the bus.

- It's just for a day, man.
- You don't understand.

It's not just a day.

I can't afford to waste
any more time here.

I need to get back
and get things in order--

Maybe you should have thought about that
earlier, before you came up north.

But that Bogart,

Lotta temptation.


Road's right there.

You're more than welcome
to throw up a thumb.


I will.

It's only a day.

It's only a day.

You're here for the night, right?
This is good.

I got an irrigation issue.
It's a two-man job.

I could use you.

I can't exactly take
an ad out in the paper.

I don't know.

Helping with a marijuana--

You can't live your
entire life by the books,

can you?

Easy, easy.

Is this your
marijuana garden?

How many are there?

A half dozen,

enough to get by.

White, raping, slave-owning

- You hear me?
- I do.

That's what they are.

I don't have no time to be bothered
with raping, slave-owning motherfuckers.

Should someone get that?

They got a monopoly
at the general store.

Ain't no different
from fuckin' Wal-Mart,

Except it's in my
goddamn backyard.

Bob and Steve is here.

They comin'.
They comin', baby.

They're coming
to build their hotels

and their houses,
and the gas stations--

the traffic.

They're coming from
the Beverly Hills mansions,

and they gonna rape the land,
they gonna rape the women,

and they gonna rape
my fuckin' asshole.

But what's wrong with
some development?

I mean, a lot of these homes
are very poorly constructed.

Fuck off and die.

What happened?

Did they leave anything?

- No.
- Not a one.

Do you have enough
money to last you?

- A couple of months.
- We're fucked.

Well, you can certainly
clip for us in the fall.

It's the Feds, ripping every
last plant out of the earth.

- It wasn't the Feds.
- We were robbed, Zelda.

They fucking hit me
with a gun barrel.

They jacked our
fucking plants.

- Fucking Feds.
- The Feds don't run into your patch with a gun

- and fucking pistol-whip you.
- I saw them. It wasn't the Feds.

Solids and liquids

are differentiated
one from another

by the way the material
responds to stress.

If the material deforms,

stays deformed,
or springs back

when the stress is removed,

it's a solid.

If instead the material
flows when stressed

and rearranges itself

in such a way
as to remove the stress,

it's a liquid.

In the past there's been
too many secrets,

too much espionage.

We're gonna have to adapt

if we expect to survive.

Have I gone insane and
completely forgotten

inviting you in here?

Sorry. I went out to pee, and, um--

Get the fuck out.


Have an edifying day at school.

- Bonjour, Jack.
- Ça va?

We were wondering
whether you or Max

would be contributing to the
pencil patch this year.

Both, actually, Lord willing.

Merci. We are very grateful.

- Glad to do our part.
- Excuse me.

Children, allez!

The pencil patch?

A while back a bunch of us got tired

Driving our kids 50 Miles to school.

So we built this place,

funded annually by the parents
of the children who can.

One or two plants--
pencil patch.

My God. If my father heard that

I think his head would explode.

The complexities of the modern
father-son relationship.

Hasn't changed much.

Well, you and Max seem
to get on pretty well.

It's complicated,

I guess we haven't reached
the event horizon yet.

The event horizon?

The event horizon is the point

around a Black Hole

where nothing beyond
that point can escape,

even light.

My point is is it's your
big kahuna point of no return.

If you had crossed it--

that event horizon--

how would you know?

Because you would be ripped apart

molecule by molecule.

You're still intact, so
I wouldn't worry about it.


Oh, hey. You ready
to go to the bus station?


Critter control, slick.

Oh, yeah.

It helps protect the plants.

Why don't you do that side over there?

Oh, these buds. Oh my God.

Fuckin' purple.
I love it.


How long have you been smoking that?

I went into my mom's stash
when I was--


Or nine.

When I was eight I was--

I was drinking Kool Aid
and watching "The Smurfs."

You have your drugs,
I have mine.

Let me see that.

It's medicine, right?

It's just a flower, man.

Go for it.


It's not so bad.

You gotta hold it into your lungs.

You don't cough, you don't get off.

Am I supposed to feel something now?

'Cause I don't feel anything,

which is strange,
because once inhaled,

that THC should

travel throughout
the bronchial tree,

bathing the brain and vital
organs within seconds.

I should feel something,
shouldn't I?

I don't feel high.

Am I high?

I don't feel high.

The sun--



I don't feel high.

Don't you worry about the police?

The local pigs?

No way, man.

The Feds-- they're the ones
to worry about.

They come later, during harvest.

Man, these motherfuckers,
they're funded.

They got helicopters
and spotter planes,

ex-special forces.

They came a few years back.

I had enough plants-- maybe or so, just to get by,

pay my rent, get Charity
some new school clothes,

books and shit.

But that's usually enough
to do it--

Small plants, no problem.

But that wasn't the case this time.

They came flying in.

I mean, the Feds, they want
the big crops, right,

so they can report that shit
on the news.

But they came flying in,
circling around, man.

They give you the death circle.

If you get the death circle,

You gotta run like hell,

go down to the beach
and wait it out.

And hopefully
when you get back,

your crops
are still there.

You just run to the beach?

The Feds just want the plants, man.

If you're not around
when they take them,

then you skip the jail part.

And that's when I lost everything, man.

I lost everything.
I moved into the trailer,

I had to move Charity
in with Jack and Rosie.

That's the deal.

I tell you,
the people around here,

they don't have a plan,
you know?

I'm not in it for the HDTV

and a fucking La-Z-Boy,
you know?

I'm taking care of my own.

Max, I forgot about the bus.

The bus.

Oh, Charity, that's wonderful.

Jack, look. Charity's rolled
a beauty! She's a natural.

- You're in. The first to Mars.
- Really?

- Mars?
- Oh, God, Jesus.

Gram's gonna colonize Mars.

What, like the planet?


It's an important project.

Practically speaking,

you're gonna have to
terraform the planet, right?

And the best way to do that--

I don't know any other
way to say it--

You've got to shit outside.

Step outside the dome and shit.

We do it here all the time.
It's no big deal.

The outhouse is busy.
Just shit outside.

Will that take a long time?

Yes, Peter, it will
take a long time,

which is exactly why I'm--

Jack, we're talking about

colonizing a fucking planet here.

It's a process.

the world wasn't built in a day, Jack.

It's a process.

Over time,
multiple generations,

it will make a difference.

Couldn't you just
poo inside the dome

and have plumbing pipes
pump the poo outside?

He said "poo"!

Yes. Yes you could.

You're a part of the project,
Peter. You're in.

Yes! That's great!

You've been talking
about Mars for years.

This boy listens for one minute

and alters the entire plan.

Oh, that's a great idea.

Okay, here's part two of the plan.

You tell people, okay,
you can come to Mars,

be one of the first to colonize it,

But you have to work long enough

For a certain amount
of time to be determined,

and then you get a plot of land.

You get to own a part of Mars.

Anybody can do this?

- What about criminals?
- We'll allow criminals.

What exactly is a criminal?

Mars will be a place for people
to have an entirely new start,

totally fresh. Wouldn't
that be just lovely?

We're not gonna
fuck this one up!

We'd probably not allow
murderers and rapists,

but if you just stole
a little something--

a candy bar, a kidney--

Mars would welcome you!

The woman is out of her mind,

out of her mind.

I'm gonna tell you this:

If that woman
ever gets to Mars,

you can forget about the planet.

We will have to just move on to Venus.

Well, Charlie used to love the idea.

But now, this one right here--

That's a whole different story.

This one should be the leader
of the expedition.

What do you say?

Mayor of Mars.

Well, I accept.

 you may not romance 

 or try to be smooth 

 but that don't
matter to me 

 it's the loving I feel
when you look in my eyes 

 there's no
other love but you 

 when you're
far away, love 

 you still
somehow stay, love 

 of all mysteries
above, love 

 it's you I keep
thinking of, love 

 others may try
to Loan me their hearts 

 but they just
would never do 

 you've got my
tender soul on a string 

 there's no
other love but you 

 happy to be lazy 

 dreaming on that hazy 

 day we'll be
pushing daisies 

 me and my little crazy 

 time tumbles on 

 memories fade 

 but this day
will always be true 

 oh, I am your gal 

 and you are my man 

 there's no
other love but you. 


- Very nice.

 sleep don't visit 

 so I choke on sun... 


 the backs of my eyes 

 hum with things
I've never done 

 sheets are swaying 

 from an old clothesline 

 like a row of
captured ghosts 

 over old dead grass 



 welcome home. 

Are we sitting idly?


What we're doing.

Right now.

Would you consider it
sitting idly?

I suppose.

My father never let me sit idly.

Must be a productive
fucking guy, your dad.


My mother--

Couldn't stand it and
she left when I was five.


Yeah, he'd literally
say that.

"You cannot sit idly.

There's too much life
to live, James."

- James?
- It's my middle name.

Peter James.

My middle name is the.

I'm serious.

No you're not.

Your parents named you
Max the Truman?

No, my given middle name
is Forrest,

But I changed it, legally.

When I was 11 years old

I was obsessed with
Alexander the Great,

couldn't leave it alone.

So I told them I was old
enough to make my own decisions

and god damn if they
didn't let me do it.

- That's awesome.
- No it's not.

It's fuckin' stupid.

They should have told me
to shut the fuck up.

- This is very good.
- Mmm-hmm. Very good.

Your recipe.

So, are we enjoying our summer here

Amongst the lotus eaters, captain?

Bob and Steve is here.

So, when this is over, what next?

- When this is over?
- Mm-hmm.

Hey, ho, professor!

- You're a professor?
- Was.

- Of what?
- Physics, of course.

Those U.C.L.A. fascists still
wish Jack would come back

and publish the work
that he and Charlie--

U.C.L.A.? I go--
went-- to U.C.L.A.

University life is a
complete distraction.

We needed isolation
and a place to focus.

When this work is finished,
the whole world will change.

And you just left and came up here?


Fuck, it's been 25 years.

We needed to get away from stuff.

Who wants more?

- Me.
- Me.

I'm not staying here.
I'm not giving up.

I mean, this is just temporary.

- You tell 'em, Pete.
- I mean, who does that--

Seriously-- just abandons the world,

Comes here, just stays?

Jack, Rosie, you.

- Yeah.
- Also me.

And other than that,
just about everybody,

Everybody up here.

How'd you end up here?

Same as you--
followed a girl.

I didn't really
follow a girl, my friend.

I didn't really follow
the same girl then.


Y-y-you mean Bogart?

Y-y-you mean Bogart?


No shit?

- You too?
- Huh-uh.

I'm native.

Hey, Sophie, you by yourself tonight?

'Course not.

Where's she going?

You should just
fucking bark at her, Steve.

All right, let's get
the fuck out of here.

I'm not fucking going.

Wai-- wh--

Those are the fuckers that
probably robbed our patch.

Those guys?
You think so?

I didn't tell anybody but Sophie
where that fucking patch was.

- You gonna say anything?
- I'm gonna say something.

You're not gonna fucking say anything.

When I'm ready. I could say
something now if I wanted to.

- That's just wrong.
- I will say it when I'm ready.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Did you steal their plants?

Yeah, Skipper, I'm talking to you.
Did you steal their plants?

- He asked you a question.
- I'm serious,

Mr. Lumberjack man.

Now, I know you were
raised in a barn,

but you can't just go around
stealing people's livelihood,

because, you know, it's cowardly.

- Hey!
- What the fuck?

...The perfect argument against cloning.

- No no no, look--
- Whoah, stop, stop.

Shut the fuck up.

I was up here the other day.

There is something
you gotta see. Come here.


- Shh!
- Shh!

- Oh my God.
- What the fuck is this?

Shh! Keep quiet.

How many are there?

Must be hundreds here, man.

Some lucky fucking bastard is set.

We should take a few.

- Fuck, you think so?
- Why not? It'll save our asses.

There's so many here I don't
think anyone would notice.

All right,
let's fucking do it.

Hey, why is there a sleeping bag here?

Gun! Gun! Go! Go!

I can't fucking see!
I can't fucking see, man!

Shut the fuck up! Go!

Fuck! Fuck!


- Let's go!
- Come on!

What the fuck?

- What the fuck?
- What was that huge patch?

What the fuck are you doing?
Are you kidding me?

- Were those all yours?
- What are you fuckin' doing?

- Max, I had no idea.
- Stay the fuck away!

- Get out of here!
- Max, I didn't know.

Get the fuck out of here!

Stay away from my fucking plants!

- How many does he have?
- Sorry?

Don't be sorry.
Just answer the question.

How many does he have?

How many?

Sit down, Pete.

This herb has been part
of human civilization

Since before it was civilized.

Hemp fibers have been found
in archaeological digs

in the Asiatic communities in China

dating back 4,000 B.C.E.

Taoist monks in the fifth century

thought it could tell the future.

But it is currently illegal.

I've lost too many
friends over it,

Good people-- not thieves,

just people like you and me.

Since the Mexicans have been
coming across the border,

the Feds have shifted
their resources to them,

their cartels growing plants
in the thousands,

armed guards, guns.

Compared to them we're nothing
more than mom-and-pop shops.

But that does not mean

that we can do what we want.

It's a foolish man

who underestimates his enemies.

It is a stupid man

who underestimates the Feds.


The lark, herald of the dawn.

Let's go greet it, shall we?

We live off the grid,

harmoniously within
the systems of the earth,

and we endeavor to improve
this beautiful place

in which we temporarily--


And from this life,

we farm pot.

But after all of these years,

I have 20 plants total,

enough to get by.

Any more than that and
you are tempting fate.

People may say I'm a criminal,

And yeah--
but I live a life

without greed,

a life where I protect
my family--

every single one of them,
even you, Peter.

And if we allow greed
to enter into our lives

then we've destroyed the very
thing that we came out here for.

Why did you come here?


I'm telling you this
to make you aware

of the vast consequences

of what you may or
may not be involved in

on this, your little
summer sojourn in the woods.

I found this on my land.

The Feds are here.

Somebody has been sloppy,

and now everything changes.

What does that mean?

- What are you gonna do?
- Whatever I have to.

So I'm gonna ask you one more time,

How many plants does Max have?

Jack, you're not
going to believe it,

but that goddamn deer
ate up the rest of my roses.

What are the two of
you talking about?

Oh, Peter here is
just indulging an old man

as he prattles on about
the world of physics.

Well, let's eat.


I didn't know.
Why didn't you tell me?

Tell me again.
What did you say to Jack?

I didn't say anything to Jack.

- You didn't say anything?
- I don't understand why--

you should have told me
about the other patch.

- I mean, I'm part of it.
- I was gonna tell you, man,

Right around harvest,
but I'm glad I didn't

because you would have
fucking robbed me anyway!

- Right?
- Wow.


Wow, you've never trusted anybody.

Shut up!

Where are the plants, Peter?

Your friend shouldn't have
bought all that equipment

in one place.

Fuck you!

You know we're lucky
they let us go.

They didn't get what they needed.

They didn't get the plants.

That's why they let us go.

Apparently, miraculously,

you didn't tell them where they were.

So they gave us a warning.

What are you doing?

- Who did you shoot?
- Shh!

Grab a flashlight.

What? Jack?

Oh my God, he killed a Fed.

- Jack!
- Peter.

Shh! Stop making so goddamn much noise!

- Light here.
- It's a deer.

It's a deer!

- Oh, you shot a deer!
- Yes.

Twice. In the head.


Why are you cleaning it now?

Because it's not deer season.


If I leave it out,
somebody will see it.

It'll attract attention.
That's not good,

especially not now.
Shine the light so I can see.

What's that?

That, my dear boy,
is a rose.

Here, try some of this steak, Hadley.


Jack's a master chef.

- It's not steak.
- It's all in the preparation.

So how's things?


Is there anything you want to tell me?

The international dialing code for Antarctica

is 672.

The Feds are here, you know.

I know.

I just want to make sure

That there's no reason
for them to stick around.

Are you gonna be a father now, Jack?

Come on, Max. I can't
help you if you're gonna--

Maybe, Dr. Truman,

maybe the Feds are here

because they're really
dying to get their hands

over all that research
you've been doing. Right?

All that stuff you've been
tooling over all these years,

right, Jack?

Maybe they're dying to get
their fucking hands all over it.

Why do you always
gotta be the little shit?

Oh, Charlie, what are we
gonna do with him?

Who's Charlie?

Oh, Charlie's
my first husband,

Maxie's father.

Max's father?

- I thought Jack was--
- No.

We all came up here together,

Charlie, Jack and I.

Charlie used to work
with Jack at U.C.L.A.

We were friends.
We were all friends.

They made quite a pair,
he and Jack--

Charlie's philosophies
and Jack's science--

Except when they were drinking,

Which was more than when they weren't.

Charlie desperately wanted to quit.

And when it got bad, Charlie
would have these seizures

where he needed a drink.

And then he found some Ecstasy

from some of the kids
out on the campground.

It was the blue pill
with the A on it

and it started off awesome.
It was wonderful stuff.

And he started taking these
pills instead of drinking

and for two months
he stopped cold turkey.

Jack couldn't believe it.

He told me he, "he did it.
Charlie did it."

We thought this place,
the life we live, it saved him.

And then one day Charlie was
having one of these seizures

and he really needed a drink

and we didn't have
any more of these pills left.

And he's yelling at me
to get him something

and I can't find anything.

And then finally I look
in a drawer and I find

a half tab of acid
which was really old,

and I said, "just
take it, Charlie."

It'll just take you
to a different realm."

And so he took it and went off.

But after a while he came back

and he said, "I don't know
what the fuck you gave me.

Every cell in my body is hurting."

And I said, "oh no, let's
go to the hospital."

He said, "no, I'm gonna take a ride."

He always liked to drive.
It would calm him down.

So he left.

And that night, 2:in the morning,

something woke me up.

It startled me to wake up at 2:
'cause I usually don't.

And they said that's when he died.

That's when he went over the cliff,

Like Wile E. Coyote.

I didn't know what to tell Max,

So I just told him what
Charlie always told him--

not to take it all
too seriously.

Later, we all went up
to Charlie's favorite spot

looking out over the cove,

Jack, Maxie, and me.

I was so furious,
and I just stood there

and I said--

"all right, Charlie,
I want something spectacular.

Spectacular. Spectacular!

You got it?"

And Jack said,
"Well, the sun is setting,"

And I said,
"Well, let's begin."

And as soon as I said,
"let's begin,"

We looked down at the cove,

and there was this storm that just
showed up from nowhere--

from nowhere-- and we went,
"where did that come from?"

And all of a sudden
there was this little spark

and these 50 mile-an-hour winds.

And as it was growing,
it had these fists coming from it,

Coming up the hill.

Like this.

And I was going--
I mean I was--

I was screaming.
I mean, I was--


My hair's going straight up and--

I just know this is Charlie!

And then the storm just
cleared just like that.

When a lot of shit happens
and your life changes

and you find yourself
standing outside on a cliff,

Going, "well, okay, now what?"

Now I'd like to have some venison.

Come back to L.A. with me.

- Yeah.
- I'm not joking.

Seriously, why not?

A clean start.

You could bring Charity,

Just start over, man.

That could be cool.

Get married, you and I.

Dinner parties.

- We could join a gym.
- Yeah, we could join a gym.


- You sure?
- No more.

I mean, what do you--

You can't actually keep doing this.


I'm out.

No you're not.

Max, this is--

I can't be part of this anymore.

It's gone way too far.

Pete, this isn't just summer
vacation, okay, man?

It's too late to go home.

It's too late.

This is not a fucking game!

I see just another
hopeless, pathetic case,

one of Bogart's parasitic fucks,
you know that, Pete?

Something goes wrong and the
good doctor's right out the door?

I'm pathetic?
I'm pathetic?

You're a pot farmer, Max.

I achieve more in a given week

Than you have in your entire life.



If I don't pull this off,

Charity's gonna end up just like me.

We're playing hide and seek.


Why are you so sad?

Do you ever think about what you
want to be when you grow up?

An astronaut.

How about you?

I don't know.

That's okay.

You think so?

You think that's really okay?

It feels more like a waste.

Charity, I see you!

Oh, I ruined your hiding place.

It'll be okay.

Grandpa Jack wins again.

- No.
- Yes.

No. That's no fair.
You cheated.

I don't know how
you can say that.

I can say you're
a cheater-eater.



- Dad.
- Peter.

How did you get here?

Star 69 and Mapquest.

So, Mr. Truman,

what is it
that you do do?

- I farm pot.
- I'm sorry?

Of course you are.

What is it that you do?

I'm a physician and a
professor of medicine

At the University
of California, Los Angeles.

Oh, that's wonderful!

Jack and I are
looking for a doctor.

We need a new prescription
for medical marijuana.

I know it might be a bit forward
given the circumstances,

But I'm thinking,
since you're here--

it would legalize us somewhat.

It would be very helpful.


You know, I used to be
a professor at U.C.L.A.

Were you?

And what is it that made you leave
and move into the woods?

Well, I didn't want
to compromise my soul.

All right. I think
I've heard enough.

Mr. and Mrs. Truman.

Peter, we're going.


I'm sorry.


I bought you a--


You know, those digital music players?

I bought you one.

I've already got one.

Well, you can return it,

Get something else, then.


I uh---

I went ahead and passed you.


Your final course.
I passed you.

Your residency starts in two weeks.




What, you know these people?

Oh shit.

- Peter, what are you doing?
- Just head downhill. I'll meet you at the beach.

- What?
- Just go to the beach!

Peter, god damn it!

Out out out!
Out out out!

Hey, would you
grab me one too?

- Either of you seen Max?
- Jack?

Maybe I should go with you, Jack.

Not a good idea.

Grab a bag.
Come on!

Hurry up.

Okay, here you go.

Shh! Shh!

Jack, get down!

How the fuck
did you find us?

A blind man could have tracked you.

I'm not leaving.

They will kill you.

You don't get to do that.

So we're gonna go stay at a motel.

I'll stop by in the morning
before we go.

I'm sorry about everything, Max.

Don't take it so seriously, man.

You got any more in there?

Jesus, Max.

I'm sorry, Tommy.
I'm sorry.

I guess a lifetime ban means I'll
see you tomorrow, right, Tommy?

- Go get some sleep, Max.
- Fuck you, Tommy.

 go, turn 

 to the assassin 

 go, repress your
prudent side 

 it's beautiful
but plastic 


-  go, reveal darker sides 
- Fuck it.

-  it's beautiful... 

Sweetie, sweetie.

Love you, Daddy.

It's really something, this place.


Yeah, it is, isn't it?

Listen, Dad,

I love you.

Me too.

I'm not taking that residency.

We'll see.

Hey, Jack, we're gonna take off.


It was my idea to come here.

I was the one who convinced
Charlie to come here.

God, you stupid--

- Jack--
- What is this,

- this fucking bullshit?!
- Jack, stop!

- God damn, no! No!
- Jack!

No, no! I got nothing,
I got nothing! I got nothing!

- No, that's not true.
- Nothing! Nothing!

Listen to me.
You've got so much.

You've got Rosie counting on you.

You've got Charity.
You've got Bogart.

You've got this place,
this beautiful place

that can bring people
back to life.

Come on, Jack.
You haven't passed the event horizon yet.

It's okay.

Peter, Peter,
Peter, Peter,

Yes yes yes yes,
you are good, you are good.

Tell Bogart thanks.


See you on Mars.

You all right?

I'm fine.

Oh, good.

Thank you.

 call in
the air strike 

 tell them
to make the drop 

 initiate a cycle 

 no one but you can stop 

 would it be fair to say 

 that you're in
love with love? 

 and is that enough? 

 I bet you feel
really potent stuff 

 the shadows of doubt 

 on how things turn out 

 are typically gray 

 but even the stopped clock
on the wall 

 is right two times a day 

 and it's still unknown 

 just how much distance
means we're on our own 

 and can we be happy? 



 the universe opens
up a door 

 and we go right in 

 it's there,
it's new, it's cool 

 it's something we
ain't seen before 

 and five minutes in 

 an egg timer rings 

 to clip off our carefree
flapping wings 

 show us the things
we can't afford 

 then throw us overboard 

 but it's still unknown 

 just how much distance
means we're on our own 

 until I see you
walking home 

 down a sidewalk
in my head 

 I might be sinking
like a stone 

 but perfectly happy. 

 all the pieces 

 no one wants to know 

 it doesn't matter 

 all the waiting 

 what you waiting for? 

 never better 

 holding court
like you do 

 it all begins with you 

 we've all been meaning 

 to thank you 

 yeah yeah 

 you will tell me 

 who we're running from 

 it doesn't matter 

 you will tell me 

 why we don't belong 

 never better 

 holding out 

 like you do 

 an altercation with you 

 we've all been dying
to thank you 

 all the pieces
no one wants to know 

 it doesn't matter 

 all the waiting 

 what you waiting for? 

 never better 

 holding court 

 like you do 

 an audience with you 

 we've all been meaning 

 to thank you 

 yeah yeah. 

Special thanks to SergeiK.