Management Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Management script is here for all you fans of the Steve Zahn and Jennifer Aniston movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Management quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

Management Script


Did you sweep the pool?

- Because people wanna swim.

How are you feeling today, ma?
- Feeling great, Mike. - Good.

Where's dad?
- Crossword.

Checking out of 202.
- How was your stay, Mr Edmunds?

Fine, thanks.
- Thank you so much.

So two nights, preferably upstairs.
- Oh sure.

Let's see, smoking or non-smoking?
- Non-smoking.

I got you into 203.
- Okay.

Nice room. Oh this is our snack-bar,
the prices are on the wall.


There you go.
Thank you.

Anything else you should need,
just give me a call. - Thank you very much.

Do you need help with your bags?
- No, I'm fine.

110's called twice to complain
that 111's making too much noise.

Yeah, what kind of noise?

Not that kind of noise Mike, now
get your mind out of the gutter.

Apparently 111's got some
sort of grinder in there.

I thought you said to get my mind out
of the gutter? - Don't be gross, Mike.

Get some sleep, you look tired.
- I'm not tired.

You look tired.
- You're the one who's sick, ma.

Now that's a nice thing to say.

Sorry. I love you.

Love you too.
- Good night, dad. - All right.

Who is it?
- Management.

- Management. Welcome gift.

- Hi.

I have your complimentary bottle,
 welcome gift.

Wine. It's on the house.

I'm uh, oh, Mike. And I am with management.

Nice to meet you, Mike.
- Oh it's... uh... my pleasure.

So, where would you like it?

You know what I can
just, I can just take it.

Oh, okay.

Do you uh, I'm sorry.
Would you like me to open it? For you?

I mean. Yeah, cause sometimes
guests don't have screws. Or, screws.

Yeah, okay, sure.

Just close this here.


Anything interesting tonight?

I haven't really been paying attention.

I know the feeling.

You know,
there should be cups in the bathroom.

Completely sanitary.
- That's good.

Wine is delicious.

Shall I?

Okay, sure.

Pretty good year.

Sometimes guests like me
to join in and have a taste.

Is that right?
- Not always but... often.

Should be another cup in the bathroom.
- I should get to work Mike, so...

What do you do?
- I sell paintings.

Really? I love paintings. What kind?

That kind.

Oooooh. Nice.
So that's what you're doing in town.

I give presentations tomorrow and
then I fly out the next morning.

What say... the company that you work for?
- It's called Corporate Bliss.

And where you guys HQ?
- Maryland.

Wait! 'Maryland, is for lovers'.

It's Virginia, actually
'Virginia is for lovers'.

'Maryland is for crabs'.
- Yeah, you're right.

- Okay Mike...
- Okay, I gotta get back to work.

Oh, solitaire, great game.

Okay, I'm gonna be down in the lobby
till 11, then in my apartment after that.

But I can always be reached
by a front door buzzer.

From then on. Just take it
easy on your solitaire problem.

Yeah, have a great night.
- Good night!

...laundry room and then I
came down here into the lobby,

and that's when I realized
that your establishment

doesn't have any options for recycling.

You're absolutely right, we don't.
Which I apologize for.

It's something we're working on.

But as you may know the Kingman
area has been a little slow

to fully embrace the recycling issue.

- It's been voted on to...
What should I do with this bottle?

- I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude,

but this is something that I'm
just, I'm very passionate about.

- Yes, recycling.

Let me take it. I'll do it.

I was gonna make a recycling round anyway.

Well, that's nice of you.

This is my son Michael,
he is the official night manager.

Thank you.
It's very nice of you.

You bet. I'll just be out the back
here with all my other ones.

I got a pretty good, big pile...

Who is it?
- Mike.

Oh god.

- Why?

We give it to all our guests
who stay for two nights.

Wow, that's a pretty good deal.

Did you and your mom come
up with that on your own?

So shall I?

Why not?

Réserve. You know,
they're always at the same place. The cups.

Thank you.

Do you make a toast, Mike?
- Hm, yeah, sure.

You're Sue, right?
- Yeah.

Here's to... people being happy!

How were your presentations today?


You have a great butt.

I noticed the moment you checked in and...

Thank you.

Hope that isn't too, you know...
- No. I mean yeah, but...

Thank you.

Do you do this a lot, Mike?
- No.

- Fairly rarely.

Does it ever work?
- Never.

What would constitute having it work?

Us having sex?

You getting to touch my butt?

That would... yeah...

I'd consider that...
fairly... constitution...


You can touch my butt but then you gotta go.

- Are you serious?

Yeah, touch it and go, 
Mike! Just touch and go.

You're sure from Maryland?
- Yeah.

Where about?
- Columbia. What about you?

Here. Kingman.

It's very warm.

Okay, Mike. I got an early plane to
catch and well... - Yeah, me too.

Bye bye now.
- Bye.

Mom? Hi, it's me. I'm just checking in.
I'm in Kingman, Arizona.

Okay, that's it.
I love you and I miss you. Okay.

Hi Sue.
- Hi.

I was wondering if...

I could snag your cellphone number
or your email before you left?

I don't think so, Mike.
- Why not?

Ah... not my style.

But... we... you know, 
I uh, touched your butt.

I know. And it was nice.

I just think that's all she wrote.

That was...

Mike, are those high boots? - Yeah.
- You're not gonna get these off.

You're all checked out?
- Yeah, I get it with your wife. Earlier.

Hey, dad.
Oh! Come back and see us some time.

Mhm, yah,
now you know it all depends on work.

What was that all about?
- She sells motel paintings.

Mike, the heat's out in 118.

Thank you for calling
Last Minute Flights.

- I'd like to book a... 
-Your call is important to us... - Fuck!

Please continue to hold. Your call will
be answered in an orderly fashion...

Okay Mike, now or never.

I'm gonna do it!

Hello, Last Minute Flights,
how may I assist you?

Hi! Yeah! I'd like to
book a one-way cash ticket

for as fast as possible from
Phoenix to Baltimore. Got it?

Hi, I'm here to see Sue Claussen.
- Is she expecting you?

Um yeah, I've left a couple of messages.
- Messages regarding...?

Regarding Sue, telling her I was in town.
I'm an old friend.

I see.

Sue, hi!

What are you doing here?
- I was wondering if we could talk.

Why are you here?
- I called twice, did you get the messages?

You know what guys, I'm sorry,
why don't you go ahead.

Are you sure, Sue?
- Yes, good, go.


Can I talk to you for a second?

This is completely inappropriate.

This is like a violation.

I wasn't trying to violate...
- Yes you did.

You are. You're violating my personal space,
you're violating my personal life.

I can't do this, I have
to be somewhere I'm late.

It's five o'clock what can you be late for?

I have an event.

You have an event? What kind of an event?

I can't tell you.

Can I come?

Here. Come on you need it.

You do this every week?
- Yeah.

You're really good at it.

You can't stay, Mike.
- Why not?

Cause it's insane.

I let you touch my butt and then
you fly halfway across the country.

Well it was much more than a butt touch.

Still you can't stay.
I've got a lot of work to do.

Well how much stuff can you do in one night?
- A lot.

Like what?
You got out with friends or...?

You see that girl over there?

She works for Burger King.
She gives me vouchers every week.

And I pass them out.

That's what I do.

I just wanna let you know. If you want
me to leave tomorrow, I will, I promise.

Hey guys!
- Sue is here.

Whopper. Whopper.
Whopper. Whopper. Whopper.

Okay, Chicken Tenders.

Easy, easy, easy. Easy.

Here you go, Chicken Tender.

Ok. BK veggie burger.

Not that, Sue.
- Come on, it's supposed to be delicious.

I don't think so...

Come on guys, it's got soya in
it, it's good, it's really good.

Fine, I'll take one.

All right, hey, who wants
a powerade? All right.

This is nice.
- Thanks. I've been here two years.

Compact fluorescents.
- Oh. Bummer.

So I think I'm gonna, go to sleep.

You want me to touch your butt first?

No. I only do that when I'm travelling.


So do you... are you alone here in Maryland
or do you have relatives around or...?

My mom, she's over in Laurel.

That! Her name is Mary.
- What's she do?

She sells insurance to deaf people.

Nice sweatsuit.

I don't want you to
take this the wrong way

but I think, we probably
shouldn't sleep in the same bed.

It's a good call.

So is your return ticket all set?

I actually don't have one.
- You don't have a return ticket?

I bought a one-way.
- Why?

That's completely unacceptable, Mike.
- I know.

You need to buy one.

I know, I'm sorry. I
didn't have enough money.

- What?
- I only had enough for a one-way.

And I thought, I thought,
I'm just gonna go for it.

- With me?
- Yes.

- It was a far-flung notion.
- That was a fucking stupid notion.

I guess.
- I'll lend you the money.

No, you don't have to do that!
- Yeah, well I'm going to.

Okay, hey, would you first consider
taking a morning off from work?

- We can hang out and then I'll leave.

If I don't you can... mace me.

You're insane.
- We could go to the zoo, that'd be fun.

Mike, zoos suck.
- Okay, then we'll do something else.

Come on Sue, take a day off from work,
you look like you could use it.

I do?

Have me buzz those people,
come on, let me take it!

Not too hard okay?

You shouldn't smoke.

I'm done. Forever. I'm serious.

No, you don't... hey! 
You don't need to do that.

Yeah but I am, I'm done.

It's time.

Let's see if I understand something.
Do you think that you like me, Mike?

- Why?

Cause you have style.

No I don't.
- Yeah you do.

No, no. I don't.
- Yeah.

You give away 30% of your income.

You would to if you'd... make... more.
- No I wouldn't.

You're also incredibly sweet.

Well beneath...
- Beneath what?

Beneath the part of you that's not.

I'm gonna get you bus.

I'll pay you back for the ticket.
- Don't worry about it.

So will I ever see you again?

That wouldn't be good for you, Mike.
I'm not good with people.

No, that's not true.
- Yeah, I know it is.

No, it's not. What about those
homeless guys? They love you.

What about the soccer gals?

What about me?

Okay, buddy, all aboard.

Hey, Mike, I think you better go on the bus.

Hey Sue, it's Mike. Calling, again,
I'm trying not to call too much but,

I just wanted to make sure that you
got the poem that I sent last week

you know, the sort of an
elongated haiku thing...

Anyway, you know my home number
and of course the front desk.

But seriously,
you should call cause I'm definitely around.

Anyway, talk to you later, I hope, bye.

I thought you were gonna quit smoking?

I just did.

What are you doing here?


Hey, did you, did you get my haiku?
- The elongated one?

- Yeah.

It was nice.

So you're just uh, passing through?

Yeah, fly out from Phoenix tomorrow.

Here, I'll take it.
- Oh, thank you.

So, this must be a really good
region for corporate art sales?

Yes, it is.

Hey, I'm supposed to go
to this yoga class later.

Would you like to come with me?

Do you have a boyfriend Sue?
- No.

Did you, recently?
- Yes.

What was his name?
- Jango.

He was an ex-punk.
- Ex, like ex-punk?

Ex rock-punk.

We broke up when he moved away.

Why did he leave?

To open the Pacific northwest branch
of his organic yoghurt company.

He's the president.
- Here you go.

Thank you.


So how is your job these days?
- It's okay.

But it's not your fantasy job.
- I don't really do fantasy about it.

If you could close your eyes and
pick anything what would it be?

But you gotta close your eyes
otherwise it's not gonna work.


To run a full service state
of the art soup kitchen.

Multiple housing units upstairs,
recreational facilities in the basement,

job outreach.

Midnight basketball.

Good soup.
- Excellent soup, first and foremost.

What about kids, you wanna have kids?

You know what was really
great about that yoga class?

It was the breathing stuff.

I don't do that.
- Breathe?

There are days where I have to instruct
my heart to request additional air.

And I have to tell myself:
'Breathe, Sue'.

'Just keep breathing'.

Yes, I want kids.

Were you not sure when I asked?

I just don't think that I've ever
been asked. That way. Before.

Can I ask one more question?
Then I'm done, I swear.

Will you come visit my mom
with me on the way home?

She's sick and I um, I promised I'd stop by.

Here, these are for you.
There was a flower show downtown.

That's nice of you.

Hey ma, Sue flew in from
Baltimore just this morning.

What do you do, Sue?
- I sell corporate decorative art.

I've met you before.

Yeah, you know, she
stayed at the motel, ma.

That's how we met.

And where you're from originally?
- Uh, I'm from Columbia. Maryland.

Do you come from a good family?
- Uhm, no not really.

Is there something specifically
wrong with your family?

Uh, well my father lives in
ashram, in northern California.

Pretty much sums up everything.
About, you know...

He once forgot to pick
me up from gymnastics.

For an entire night.

That's quite a lot of somersaults.

I didn't care. I didn't.

It really just explains more about
him, um, than it does about me.

Could you hand me those pills, Mike?
- Which ones?

The ones on the left, Mike.

Can I talk to my son
in private for a moment?

Did I, did I say something wrong?

Not at all.
It'll just be a moment.


I like her.
- Really?

She's a bit of a long shot.
But then she's logical.

In an emotionally annihilated kind of way.

But that's okay, underneath there
is a heart of...

- No, I wouldn't say gold.

Maybe made of - leather.

But if it works out,
she'll be good for you when I'm gone.

Needless to say what would make me happy

is for you to find something for
yourself before my check-out time.

Just so I know it's not you and your father
alone here, walking around like robots.

Ma, dad's not a robot.
- He is.

But I was mostly talking about you.

Unless you find a way out.

Of what?
- Of whatever it is you're stuck in.

You get it from your father.
He came back from the war stuck.

Been talking about
joining the gym ever since.

Never has.
But that doesn't have to be you.

Are you okay?
- Yeah, are you?


She liked you.
- No she doesn't.

Yeah, she did, she told me.

What took you so long?

Dad, you remember Sue?

There's a toilet overflow in 110.


Gotta get home to your mom.

Are you really leaving?
- I have to.

You can't stay one more night?
- I have meetings this afternoon in Seattle.

Call them off and just stay for a while.

It's my job.
- I know.

But you know, you could
get a job around here.

Where, Sczhuan house?


I'm just saying that...
- Mike, don't know how to say this...

This isn't gonna work.

I mean I'll stop by when I pass through.

Come on, what do you mean?

I can't move from Baltimore to live in a
corner double room of your parents motel.

I mean...

Be serious.

I'm sorry.
I'll stay in better touch this time.

Yeah, whatever you say.

So this is where she wanted?
- This used to be all scrub.

She'd be cringing right now if she
knew they'd be building here.

But. I promised her I'd do it.

Yeah, it's still nice.

I meant to give this to you earlier.

It's your mom's favorite piece of jewelry.
As you know she was a necklace woman.

She thought you should have it.
Dunno why since you won't be wearing it,

maybe you'll find some use for it. Someday.

Thanks, dad. - Also I had some guy call me.
Wanted to buy the motel.

You're gonna do it?

I doubt it, think we'll
just keep running it.

But you can do what you like Mike.
You know, if you wanna leave...

This ain't half bad hunky-dory.
- Yeah, it was my mother's.

Oh god, it's not going
down the sentimental road.

no I'm just saying...

Yeah, I know what you're saying and
I know you're gonna start crying.

What? I'm not.
- How long you've been in the porn business?

The porn business? - No, pawn business.
How long you've been in the pawn business?

Oh... no, I'm uh... never... I'm...
- Exactly.

So when someone says he
ain't gonna start crying

that's sure as shit sign that they are
just about to start blubbering like a calf.

See what I mean?
- Just, how much, for the necklace?

I'll give you 300.
- Phh, okay.

- Hi. - Hi.

I'm here to see Sue, please.
- Sue no longer works here.

I'm sorry?
- She moved to Washington.

- State.

Her old boyfriend came to
convince her to move to Aberdeen.

Showed up with flowers,
first class plane tickets,

it was very 'officer and gentleman'.

Uh, number eight.


Dude, I'm just messing with you.

You're new in town right?
- Oh. Yeah.

You looking for a job?
- Yeah.

You wanna work here?
- Seriously?

Why the fuck wouldn't I be serious?

- Mike.

Mike, it is nice to meet you man.
- Yeah, you too.

Dude, you stink.
- I do?

Big time.
You can't work here if you stink.

It's my parents place, they're old school
and they really hate stinky people.

So okay, go home, take a shower, please,
come back and I will get you the job.

I don't really have a home.
- Really?

All right, he also needs a place to live
so I was thinking that maybe we could,

You know, let him stay in the basement
and deduct some rent from his pay?


Hey thanks for helping me out,
it really means a lot.

Dude, no problem, man.

You know I've been trying to get my
folks sign someone American anyway

cause we can't less
bigger bullshit that way.

Plus I freaking hate working the mornings.
- Why?

Because I like smoking pot and sleeping in.

Oh that's cool.
- So why did you come to Aberdeen, Mike?

Uh, this girl that I'm in love with,
she moved here to be with her ex boyfriend.

Oh, that sucks, man.
- Yeah.

Yeah, especially considering
the guy is a punk.

Like a punk punk?
- Ex-punk, think he's older now.

Does he train dogs?
- I dunno.

Is his name like Jango?
- Yeah, I think it is!

I have totally heard of this dude, Mike.

Is he a punk?
- No, he's an ex-punk!

So the thing with this guy right,
he's also a yoghurt magnate.

Ok, totally huge in a yoghurt business,
this guy is like a yoghurt fucking mogul.

You see those kennels over there?
That's where he keeps the dogs.

Damn it!
- What?

This guy, this guy is like a total stud.
- What do you mean?

I'm not a sexual superman. This guy...

I mean...

No dude, you're probably fine.
- You're just saying that.

Yeah, that's true but what do you want
me to say, that you're right? - No, but...

Ok, look. Now, chicks these days,
they don't want sexual  superman,

ok they want hard workers.
You know, guys who hustle.

I mean you're a fucking hustler Mike.

I mean you came all the
way out to Aberdeen dude,

that's gotta count for
something right? Yeah.

This guy's got shrubbery
shaped like pitbulls.

Dude I think I got an idea for how
you're gonna get your girl back.

- See that dude sitting over there?

He runs a flight school over in Olympia.

You should talk to him Mike.

Ok Mike, what I need now is
for you to free your mind!

So let us have a spiritually
fulfilling religious fucking moment!

I'm pretty sure I can do it Stan!

That's the Michael I've come to
know in the past eight hours!

That's the Mike!

Come on now!

Three, two, one...
- Wait! Wait, Stan!

Okay now Mike, you're on your ooooooown!

Jesus! God! Jangoooo!

Oh my god! Who is, who is that?

It's me, Mike.


What are you doing?
Mike, come here.

Jango, cut up with shooting!

What the fuck is going on!

Jango, stop shooting people! Stop it!

Come here, follow my hand.

Stop it!

Here, I got you.

Oh god, are you okay?

Stay away. Sue.

Jango, give me the gun,
give me the damn gun.

I'm gonna die.

It's just a bb gun.
- No, I really think I'm dying.

Oh my god!
- Get back, Sue. Come here.

Jango, what are you doing?
- CPR!

Oh my god I'm calling an ambulance.

Well that just looks like
you're kissing him, Jango.

Where am I?
- The Aberdeen medical center.

Did uh, did...
- Yeah, Jango shot you.

Which caused you to go into shock.

Mike, why?
Why did you come out here?

Because I love you.

That... Do I have bb hose in my neck?
- Yeah.

That hurt.
- Well I can imagine.

I thought it was over with that guy?

It's good for me, Mike.

He put me in charge of his
company's non-profit yoghurt fund

which allows me to do a lot of
good things for a lot of people.

He also feels horrible for shooting you and
he would like to have you over for dinner.

Oooh, that's nice.

Hey, so who's this guy?

That is me and Joe Strummer in the
summer of '79 at the 100 Club in London.

Who is Joe Strummer?

Joe Strummer most likely made love to
your mother Al and wrote a song about it.

Here's the two of us
throwing over at the CBGB's.

Hey, who is that?

Ah, that's me and Ed McMahon.
Ed Mc-Wild-Mahon.

Now he's a true punker.

Basically for me, dog work is a
thrill, adrenaline rush if you will,

that's otherwise hard for me to
replicate in the world of yoghurt.

Especially now that you're not a punk.

Well I'll always be a punker in here, Al.
Make no mistake.

But there's less need for me to
call myself a punker in a world

where very notion of punk then means
commodified for the mass market.

How do you like your masala?
- It's really good.

Oh, you're not gonna eat any?
- Oh, I liquified it.

Listen, I would just like to
formally and quite sincerely,

apologize to you for the BB
gun incident. I lost my cool.

I was scared, for Sue.
Scared for the dogs.

Scared for the general
well-being of the pool.

So I just wanna say that I'm sorry, m-m...
- Mike... - my friend.

I blundered.
- Yeah, it's alright.

Yeah so that's, behind us!

And Sue tells me that you're a painter?

Yeah, very, very talented painter.

When did you have the opportunity

to become acquainted with
the quality of his work, Sue?

That was my last business trip for uh,
Corporate Bliss.

And you thought, uh "a great
opportunity to promote my art"

or you thought "beautiful woman"?

First part. The um art one.

Now so you're the guy who paints
foxes and and hounds for corporate art?

Okay, cause I got something 
to say about that.

You take a, a Rottweiler,
no, let's say a Malinois...

chasing a fox, see you've got a
seriously new dynamic on your hands

because a Malinois on a fox's ass,
that would be a trip.

because a Malinois is
gonna turn that little fox,

into a fox meat inside a twenty-three
seconds, you know what I'm saying.

So I've decided a lobby for that little bit.
- Okay.

That was really great chicken, Jango.
- I loved that fucking chicken Jango.

You'd have a better chicken in there,
you'd have to be a rooster.

Speaking up, who's up for some dessert?

I got a new flavour I wanna try on you guys:
Henry Rollins' chicken-wing crunch.

Hey Sue, Mike and I are gonna go
to the Cowboy Club after this,

And if you want to join us? You know
they've got really great dancing.

I'll think about it.

What I'm trying to say is that China is not
only gonna kick America's economic butt

but it's gonna invade the whole country.

I'm talking about you guys getting
like a whole new flag and whatnot.

You need to reorient your
way you think about Asians,

because we will blow your mind with
our uniqueness and inner beauty.

You think she's hot?

Yeah, sort of.

Hi, guys.
- Sue. Hi.

Hi, Mike.

You didn't bring Jango, did you?

No, no he's got kinda drunk so,
I've just told him that I had an errand.

Hey, you wanna dance with us, Sue?
- No.

Come on, I know you got a move.
- I don't have a move.

Everybody's got a move, Sue.
Mike, show her your move.

I don't have a move.
- Sue, don't you think Mike's got moves?

I bet you have, a move.

Come on, let's pass some moves.

Hey, did you hear?

Aberdeen is building the biggest
bio-diesel field plant in the country.

Whatever you say man.

No, we should find a way to get in on that.

Hey, Jango.

You know why I'll always be a punker man?

Cause I take very little shit.

I'm watching you man.
You stay away from her.

Mike, Mike, you all right?

I'll get him back.
- Yeah man, that is a piece of scum, man.

I think he'll regret that.

So you're sure you wanna do this?
- Look, don't come if you don't want.


I'm with you.

Okay, let's do it.

Dude, that was awesome!


Wait, wait. Drop. Go go go go!

Hold on. Shit!

I love you, Sue!

Hear that old man!
You suck.

Mike, you have visitor.
- Okay.

We need to talk, Mike.
- I know.

I've been leaving you messages.

Did you tell him about us?
- Yes.


Because I'm marrying him.


Which I need you to accept.


Because I'm at a point in my life where
there are certain things that I need.

Like what?

Like a certain kind of love.

What kind?

The kind that is not like 
an unguided missile.

You can't just stalk people 
around the country.

You can't parachute into people's pools.

Knock on people's motel rooms
just because you're feeling lonely.

Life isn't like that.

Freedom to be with someone.
It's not all about what you need.

It's got to be more selfless than that.

Mike, it's got to be
more selfless than that.

Oh, like, like save everyone else
in the world except yourself?

I don't, that's not what I do.
- Yes you do.

No. It's not.
- Yes it is!

You're so busy being selfless that
you end up treating yourself like shit.

That really what you think of me?

I'm just, I'm just saying...
I know what you need.

Which is what?
- To take care of yourself a little.

So that the people who love you
don't feel like they're annoying you.

Sue, Sue, just, marry me.

Hey, let's just let the world go
screw itself for a half second.

And just see what happens
and maybe it'll be okay.

I'm getting married on Saturday.
- Why?

Cause I'm pregnant.

And I'm gonna have it.
It's what I want.

You're having a child?

Could it be mine?


Which is why I'm getting married.

Mike I can't afford to
be selfish on this one.

I just have to be with somebody who
knows what they're doing with their life.

I'm sorry.

Sweet just doesn't cut it.

Can you leave now, please?

Just leave, okay.

Get out of my basement, Sue.

Susan, I'm serious.
Get the fuck out of my basement right now!

I wish I had that dick's bb gun right now.

They're going on a honeymoon?
- I don't know.

Yeah, they'll probably wait
till the yoghurt season's over.

You're gonna be all right.
- Yeah.

I just wanna say Al,
you're the best friend I ever had.


What a douchebag huh?

You know that's enough to make
you want to be a buddhist monk.

My people are really good at that stuff.


Oh dude, don't get carried away.

Michael, the progress you've made in
your 4 months here has been remarkable.

Thank you, father.

Needless to say your immersion
in the duty of carriage shopper

and boon chief has been full 
and complete.

Thank you.

But some worries have arisen.
- Such as what, father?

First of all you're not
supposed to call me father.

But I must say, I must
admit I grow fond of it.


An aspiring buddhist
monk such as yourself

should seek to produce a
heart that does not dwell.

Of course, father.

And your heart Michael,
may I say, does dwell.

No it doesn't.
- It does, Michael.

You have not transcended
your earthly passions.

To put it bluntly: you are stuck!

You also spend too much
time playing volleybal.

Yeah but I thought that
was permitted father.

Yes but not for seven hours a day.
- Also you encouraged it for stress release.

Yes, I, I did. 
Yes. But uh, Michael,

Buddhists monks aren't supposed to
have seven hours a day worth of stress.

We are buddhist monks. Buddhist monks.

So what should I do?

My parents died when I was ten.

Two months later my uncle
and I moved to America.

I was forced to let go of everything I knew.
In order to move on.

Sometimes in life, you must do that.

Where are you from, father?

Vietnam. Hau Liang province?

My parents were killed in a war.

By the Americans?
- Yes.

And yet I moved here.

I like this park.

I'm sorry.
- No no no.

It is not your fault.

Let go, Michael.
Let go and move on.

I reckon I knew you. - Yeah, I'm the
guy who sold you my mom's necklace.

Oh yes, right.

What can I do you for?
- I want it back.

Dad, do you want me to make you
some dinner? - No, I'm all right.

Dad, when you were over in Vietnam,

did you ever do any fighting
in the Hau Liang province?

Yeah. Why?

I just met this guy at the
monastery who was from the area.

Seemed to really have his shit together.

Good to hear.

Dad, I been thinking,
maybe you should sell this place.

You don't even like it here.

This was mom's thing.

Why do you say that?

Cause it's true.

My mom loved people,
loved running things, it's not like you.

You're not like a people's person, dad.

You should let it go.

Move on.

Otherwise you're just gonna rot.

Sell it and do what?
- Anything.

You've still got time.
You've got money.

What do you need Mike? A loan.

No. I just wanted to say,
that this doesn't have to be it.

And that I love you.

Dear Mike, I know you probably don't want
to hear from me and I can't say I blame you.

But I wanted to write anyway
to let you know what I think.

Which is that I think
you had a point that day.

About people who hide behind their causes.

in order to avoid their lives

You had a point down there in that basement.
With the soy sauce and the mice.

And so I wanted to say thanks.

Because of you Mike,
I'm not the same person I was.

Goodbye, Mike.
Love, Sue.

Just thought about what
you said the other day.

I think you had a point.

That being said, this is yours.

What is it?
- Deed to the motel. Signed over to you.

Dad. Dad, that's not why...
- It's fine.

I don't need it.

Your mom was good about that.
- You can't just give me the motel.

It's your birth right.

What would you do?

I want to get in shape.

Maybe join one of those basketball leagues.

How about you?
- I don't know. I'll think of something.

You done with the monk stuff?
- Yeah, I still ocassionally do it.

I mean not professionally but...

What about that girl?

Oh, that didn't work out.

We weren't, you know, like,
meant for each other.

I dunno Mike, things change. In life.

What do you mean?

You're not the same guy you were.

Good soup.

Good soup.

You can do this, Mike.

I'm gonna hit the gym.

Yeah, they have a senior
citizens hoop run from 3 to 5.

I got a new ball.

Yeah, I see it.

All right, Mike.
- See ya.

- Hi Jango, it's Mike, Sue's friend.

Hi Mike.

Hi. Look I know that I'm probably not
the guy you want to hear from right now

but I need to tell Sue about
what I'm doing down here.

And I think that when she
hears what I'm up to...

Hey Mike?

... she will at least understand
that if nothing else...

- Yeah?

We split up, Sue and I. Split up.
She left me.

Went back to Maryland
to be with her mom.

- Hi.

Are you Mary Claussen?
- Yes?

- Hi.

I'm a friend of Sue's.
Is she home?

Who are you?
- Mike? From management.

Sue, Mike is here.

- Hi.

How's the baby?

So far so good.

Are you okay?

I'm really sorry, Mike.

For what?

Cause I really messed up. With you.

But you were right. I was like a kid.

This is the deed to the motel.

I want to turn it into a homeless
shelter with midnight basketball.

I already bought the soup noodles.

I was actually hoping that
you might want to help.

I really love you Sue and
I want to take care of you

and whoever it is that's inside of you.

All I want is to be with you. That's it.

Breathe, Sue.

Just keep breathing.

I wrote you a haiku, you wanna hear it?


Mike, oh Mike, my man.
Keeps showing up like UPS.

Sue, you're such a bitch.

I like it.

You do?
- Yeah.

Special thanks to SergeiK.