Planet 51 Script - Dialogue Transcript

Planet 51 Script

  
  
I've never gone parking before

  
I'm really not that kind of a girl

  
Well, I'm not the kind of a guy
who would go with that kind of a girl

  
That's so sweet
I think

  
There's nothing to be scared of

  
I knew this would happen
if we made out

  
Good shot, sir

  
General,
I think he's surrendering

  
Fire at will

  
Keep firing Keep firing

  
Keep firing
Kill every last alien

  
You'll all become my alien zombies

  
What did tell you about
these kind of movies?

  
It was almost over

  
He only looks just like his father

  
Just like his father

  
I hate the rain

  
It's raining rocks and dogs

  
Great

  
Space

  
Universe of mystery

  
Well, today the mystery
will be unveiled

  
Thanks to science

  
We now know, the universe
is nearly 500 miles long

  
And it contains,
you're not gonna believe this

  
over one thousand stars

  
Lem, come on,
liven it up

  
And still,
the only known intelligent life

  
is right here on our planet

  
No
Not today

  
What was that?

  
That's our planet after the attack
from the Humaniacs

  
They're gonna eat our brains
for dinner

  
- Is that true?
- Everybody, please

  
- That's ridiculous
- Totally ridiculous

  
Brains for dinner?
Come on

  
Brains are for breakfast
with cereal and milk

  
Dinner's organs and eyeballs

  
OK, everyone
Please listen up

  
We're not getting eaten

  
Or harvested
Or having our brains barbecued

  
The Universe isn't scary

  
It's really amazing

  
And don't forget to
pickup your planetary yo-yo's

  
We've got one for each of you

  
You are looking at the
new junior assistant curator

  
High four

  
Well, it's part-time now and
a full-time after I graduate

  
How did you do, Lem?
- Got the job

  
Knew you would

  
Hey, I can see my whole life

  
A house, a car
two kids

  
They'll grow up and have kids

  
They will come home to
visit us on holidays

  
Well?
- Got it

  
Lem?

  
Congratulations on that job

  
- I knew you could it
- Yeah, thanks

  
There it is
just two more days

  
Humaniacs III

  
The final battle for our world

  
Victory or Extinction

  
If you guys go in costume,
I'm pretending we never met

  
Did you just say
what I think you just said?

  
I'm a planetarium professional now

  
I don't have time for
kid's movies anymore

  
Kid's movies?

  
I suppose next you'll say
aliens don't exist?

  
Yeah

  
Just as I thought

  
You are not Lem

  
You're an alien zombie
like in Humaniacs II

  
Skiff,
I'm not a zombie

  
Yeah, that's what you zombies are
programmed to say

  
Tell me something
the real Lem would know

  
Well, I know,
Skiff is the only nutcase

  
who thinks the government is hiding
a whole alien evidence in Base 
  
And, you give candy to your puppy
so he'll poop jelly beans

  
It was just an experiment

  
With all due respect

  
I put in the hours and done
a lot of alien research at work

  
What? What are you talking about?
You work in a comic book store

  
The greatest source of
scientific knowledge

  
Skiff

  
Try to unpack the fake alien poop

  
Right away, Mr Oglob

  
You'll believe me, Lem

  
When aliens put you
on the take-out menu

  
Skiff

  
I love fake alien poop day

  
So, um

  
Eckle, do you think
your sister's home?

  
- Why?
- I thought of may be

  
I thought I might tell her
I got the job

  
- Why?
- Forget it You tell her for me, okay?

  
Okay, but every time you tell me
to tell her something

  
she asks why don’t you
just tell her yourself

  
What?
- And then my mom says

  
because you like her and then
she says that "Oh, that's so cute "

  
And why don't you just ask
her out, already?

  
Because she's been waiting for you,
to ask her out,

  
ever since we moved
the next door to you

  
She has?
The girl of my dreams likes me?

  
This is the best day of my life

  
Yeah, you gotta see
the kids throw up

  
Hey, he did it
He got the job

  
We're so proud of you

  
I hear, it's just one easy step-up
to senior assistant curator

  
Come on, soldier

  
Take that hill

  
- Hey, Neera
- Hey, Lem

  
I wanted to tell you

  
- I got the job
- Lem, that's great

  
- Maybe it's time that you and me
- Yes?

  
I mean,
would you wanna

  
Hey, hey, Neera

  
I've been looking all over for you

  
You've been looking for me?

  
The "cause" needs you

  
- The "what"?
- The "cause"

  
Glar's involved with something
he calls "protesting"

  
It's like, when you shout about stuff
that makes you upset

  
Yeah, like our school pictures
Why do they have to be our faces?

  
I mean, what a bummer

  
That means, it's not good

  
Neera, we need you,
righteous mamma

  
I'm so honored

  
But, Lem was about to
ask me something

  
Yeah, man
What you wanna ask her?

  
- It's kinda private
- No problemo, man

  
I mean,
I totally respect that

  
So, Neera

  
Neera and Lem
had a private conversation

  
And don't wanted
anybody else around

  
- Yeah, you know, we can talk later
- Okay

  
Peace

  
That means see you later

  
Bye
- Bye

  
The "cause", man

  
I'd like to "cause" him some pain

  
I don't wanna hear a single bubble

  
Especially, you bubbles

  
Call the General

  
Call the General

  
Resistance is futile
Surrender or die

  
Come on, Eckle
Go, help your father

  
What the?

  
A duck?

  
Mom Dad

  
There’s a ship in the

  
Open wide or the big bad
monster will get ya

  
The battle for our world
has begun

  
- Captain, mobilize the army
- Yes, sir

  
Right, men
Move it

  
Are they hostile?
Will our species survive?

  
One thing we do know is

  
that they show no respect
for our parking laws

  
And speaking of survival,

  
how will you survive
without a sparkling smile?

  
Give your smile that special glow

  
Try the sparkle action of DentaPro

  
You know, you're really good
as that toothbrush

  
Yeah, but what I really do best
is a suppository

  
Now, let's see

  
"Invasion by giant ants "

  
"Invasion by sea monsters "

  
"Invasion by 50 foot women? "

  
Here it is

  
"So you've been invaded by aliens "

  
Keep your eyes out for aliens
- Aliens?

  
All right, class

  
Let's try it one more time

  
Aliens are coming

  
Flarc, you were too slow

  
Go join the zombies

  
I told it

  
The only question is

  
Should I be terrified because
this is the end of the world

  
or happy because
I totally told it

  
Me, I have a plan

  
They're gonna need a native
to run the mines

  
I'll befriend them,
show my executive skills

  
and "Bam" I'm in

  
Speaking of the amendment

  
A cork?

  
It's your best defense against
the alien's favourite form of research

  
"The Probe "

  
You put it in

  
Yeah Yeah, I think I get it

  
Wait
This is yours

  
I already used that one

  
I just remembered, my job

  
I gotta go

  
- You know, my boss
- Your boss?

  
No problem

  
You guys can share

  
Uh, Neera, you have to choose

  
It's either me or Glar

  
Oh, Lem, there's no question

  
It's you, of course

  
Come on
Come on Come on

  
Hello, this is the alien hotline

  
Yes, hi, I found the alien

  
They're here
and no weapon can stop them

  
You gotta be kidding

  
- Hello?
- Yes, hello

  
I found the alien

  
If you've spotted an alien fleet,
dial one

  
For pod-people, dial two

  
I can breathe

  
You speak my language

  
That's amazing
You speak my language

  
Yeah, that's what I just said

  
You just said,
"that's what I just said "

  
- Say something else
- Like what?

  
Like what

  
They're gonna freak back at Kennedy

  
I'm Captain Charles T Baker

  
Astronaut

  
As-tro-naut

  
- Ass
- tronaut

  
Lem

  
Lem

  
Either your name is Lem,

  
or you wanna mate with me

  
Houston, we have a little problem

  
What do you
what do you want?

  
Thanks for asking
Coffee light, two sugars

  
Do you've frapuccino up here?

  
Any puff pastry too
Thanks

  
No, I mean, are you

  
here to take over our world,

  
and like, eat our brains?

  
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on

  
What kind of sick planet is this?

  
First of all, it's supposed to be
uninhabited, okay?

  
Not full of sea monkeys
dancing to the oldies

  
My mission was to plant Old Glory,
whack a few golf balls and

  
head back for
the Kids Choice Awards

  
I'm getting slimed

  
- What?
- You were just talking alien

  
- Hey, I'm not the alien here, you are
- Me? You are

  
- No? You are
- You are You

  
You came to my planet

  
An alien planet

  
- Hello
- Hello

  
Not "hello" Hello

  
- Hello, what?
- What?

  
Let's start over

  
Look, there’s a command module
in orbit right now

  
It's running out of fuel
It has to leave in 74 hours

  
And if I'm not on it,
it goes back to Earth without me

  
Capish?

  
I have to get to my ship
and go back up in space

  
Can you help me?

  
You want me to take you
to your flying saucer?

  
No If they catch me helping you
who knows what they'll do to me

  
I'll lose everything
My life is just getting perfect

  
Kid
You're a kid, right?

  
I mean, you're not like
a 1000yrs old Yoda or anything?

  
Never mind

  
Look, you're my only hope

  
But I suppose you could
leave me stranded

  
My wife will have to support the kids

  
Eleven we have eleven kids

  
Always hungry

  
But, hey, they'll get by without a father

  
The important thing here is
you avoid a little trouble

  
Alien hot line
What's the nature of your sighting?

  
Hello Are you there?

  
Hello Are you there?

  
Hey, fella

  
Who wants a donut?

  
Silly dog

  
Get back

  
There's your flying saucer
Now what?

  
Okay

  
Here's the plan

  
You knock out that cop

  
Then, you overpower those two

  
You neutralize that one and handcuff
the big guy to the steering wheel

  
That's your plan?

  
- What if they start shooting?
- You're one of their own

  
- They probably just aim for your legs
- My legs?

  
- Don't your legs grow back?
- No

  
We're not like your kind, okay?

  
I tell you what
Eat this

  
- You'll become invincible
- Oh, good, then you do it

  
I can't be seen breaking the law

  
I've got the Right Stuff

  
- The what?
- The Right Stuff

  
It means I have lot of courage

  
Now go

  
Go on Go Go

  
Hey, hey, Lem
Something wrong?

  
Move in Move in
Move in

  
As you can see,
the army has taken it's position

  
for the fight
in the War of the Worlds

  
Getting ready for our first
cold encounter

  
with invaders from outer space

  
Attention

  
So they have came

  
Captain
- Sir

  
Have your men search
the flying saucer

  
Yes, Sir

  
- Move
- Sir

  
Now our brave soldiers
are entering

  
the alien spaceship

  
It doesn't look big enough
to be a Space Destroyer

  
It's dark in here

  
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Hey, look

  
No sign of the pilot, sir

  
I've never seen such a hideous weapon

  
We're up against a
cruel, sadistic enemy

  
Seal off the town

  
I want that alien pilot found

  
I protest

  
They're bumming me up
with their bad vibrations

  
Well, there's one thing you gotta do

  
Never mind, Captain,
the alien is right here

  
- Grab that prisoner
- Yes, sir

  
Glar's not the alien

  
Oh, no?
Then what do you call this?

  
- Hair He likes it long
- Very unusual

  
You might even say

  
very alien

  
Excuse me General

  
He does go to the high school

  
Glar's just trying to say
the aliens might be friendly

  
Lem

  
Lem, you know astronomy

  
If an alien came all this way

  
wouldn't it be smart enough
to come in peace?

  
No No, no, no

  
I mean

  
They they have come to
harvest our organs

  
- To make us slaves
- Me?

  
We should all all of us,
right now, go home and hide

  
That's a sensible young man

  
Let him go

  
And the rest of you,
go to your homes

  
And wait for instructions

  
Hurry up Go, go, go

  
Great Just great

  
Look, I said you'd take you
to your flying saucer, okay?

  
Well, there it is Now leave

  
I'll get you a blanket and
a pillow for the night

  
It's a miracle, I'm gonna need

  
You like the stone?
You like the stone?

  
Go Go

  
There it is Stop

  
There it is

  
¶ I'm gonna tell Aunt Mary
about Uncle John ¶

  
¶ He claims he has the music,
but he has a lot of fun ¶

  
¶ Oh baby, yeah, baby ¶

  
¶ Ooh baby, having me some fun tonight ¶

  
¶ Well, long tall Sally,
she's built for speed ¶

  
¶ She got everything that Uncle John need ¶

  
¶ Oh baby, yeah, baby ¶

  
¶ Ooh baby, having me some fun tonight ¶

  
"What To Do When Aliens Invade"

  
Aliens are quite like us

  
Except they have two sets of teeth,

  
hypodermic fingertips,

  
And hypnotic eyes to
control our brains and

  
turn us into an army of zombies
and destroy our world

  
What?

  
Remember,
anyone caught helping the aliens,

  
will go to jail

  
Jail?

  
This is great
Yesterday my life was perfect

  
And now, I'm the most wanted
super criminal in the world

  
At least you have a world

  
I probably will never see mine again

  
Our preliminary procedures
have been completed, sir

  
The spacecraft is quarantine

  
We're looking for a, uh,
place for your headquarters, sir

  
- And, uh
- Still no trace of the alien, sir

  
Where would you hide
if you were an alien?

  
Hide?

  
An alien invader spends over $to fly across the universe

  
to hide

  
You clown

  
He's here to takeover our minds

  
Even yours

  
Diabolical

  
Captain, place me under arrest

  
Not so fast, General

  
I've trained my superior intellect
to recognize alien mind slaves

  
You're clean

  
But he is a zombie and

  
those two

  
How we know who is a zombie?

  
Well, zombies don't feel any pain

  
- You're clean
- You too

  
General, you must capture
the alien alive

  
and bring it to me

  
I'll unlock the secrets
of it's marvellous brain

  
Captain, search the town

  
Go door to door, if you must

  
But find that alien

  
Hello, "Plark",
if that really is you

  
Have a nice day, "Serbok"

  
Or should I call you
by your alien name?

  
Why I have to go to the dentist
if it's the end of the world, ma?

  
Invasion or not, you gotta go

  
My mom's a zombie

  
Help

  
Grab

  
We're getting it right, uh

  
So this is last
street we gotta do today

  
Okay, let's start at this end

  
Wait I think I'm a zombie

  
I'm hearing an irritating,
piercing voice in the back of my head

  
- Oh, shut up It's me
- It's there again

  
It's me, you moron

  
Hey, what's that?

  
Hey, look

  
That's funny

  
Look at this

  
Look at the dog

  
Mom?

  
Mom mom, don't come in

  
Rover?
Boy, am I glad to see you, Rover

  
Rover?

  
He is a probe we sent to take
pictures of your world

  
A planet full of aliens

  
and you send back
pictures of rocks?

  
Bad boy Bad boy

  
Mom, don't don't come in
- The alien Wow

  
Can I get your autograph?

  
Eckle, this isn't a comic book,
okay? It's serious

  
I don't mind Comes with
being a national hero

  
And and my humaniacs poster?

  
And my and my chest?

  
How how about a snapshot?

  
Get one of me looking up
at the stars

  
Mom
- I saw the alien last night

  
I'm so in

  
I got this guy wrapped around
my little finger

  
Let me tell you,
this alien is not so scary

  
It's

  
Your personal chef
reporting for duty, sir

  
May I give some
tasty suggestions for tonight?

  
I've got the list of
the fattest teachers in my school

  
Incase you're looking for a light snack

  
Skiff, stop

  
He's not here to eat us or anything

  
He's harmless,
to everyone but me

  
Better let me do the talking

  
I think, he's eyeing you for desert

  
It's kinda cute the way
he does that

  
Great, let's just have a party

  
We're doing a routine search
for the alien

  
Don't shoot
Don't shoot

  
It's trying to control our minds

  
What do we do?

  
Don't look in it's eyes

  
That's how it takes over your brain

  
Brains?

  
That's right, brains

  
You are my zombie slaves

  
- I want to control your brains
- It's inside my head

  
His will is too strong

  
Command us, Master

  
Command me, too

  
It's not real

  
I think I know
when I'm being mind-controlled

  
Maybe they can get me on my ship

  
I lean toward probably not

  
But I think I know who can

  
just to the left of me here

  
Everything is checked
and double-checked

  
The High Command taking
control of the situation

  
You want our home
for your headquarters?

  
That would be a great honor

  
Honey, tell Lem we have guests

  
Lem, there's someone
you would like to

  
Kiss the ship goodbye, Rover

  
You really think,
you can get me on TV?

  
You're the biggest story in history

  
The whole planet will watch

  
The whole planet?
Interesting

  
I left my hair products on the ship
But I could improvise

  
You know,
astronauts have to deal with

  
any kind of emergency

  
I get it

  
We could tell everyone, he's peaceful

  
All we need is a safe place,

  
a TV reporter and then
we can all get on with our lives

  
Skiff, the comic bookstore,
let's go there

  
Okay

  
But if he's not house,
you're cleaning up his mess

  
We need a slogan

  
Like something that says it's a bummer
to make war on the aliens

  
when we should make, uh

  
Hey, Neera
- Hi

  
- Hi
- You kill any alien, Lem?

  
Kill any?
Oh, no, you don't understand

  
These soldiers aren't

  
Oh, great
This day gets better and better

  
General Grawl,
you better take a look at this

  
Professor, take a look

  
This is obviously alien writing

  
It says, uh

  
Surrender or die

  
And this is a list of surrender terms

  
Diabolical

  
What are you doing in Lem's room?

  
I'm afraid your son is a zombie

  
Hey, kid, what's bugging you?

  
Neera

  
What is that,
like an alien hernia?

  
Well, sort of

  
It's the girl of my dreams

  
And now me hates me

  
Wow, hate's a strong word

  
Maybe she just

  
dislikes you

  
Plus there's another guy

  
Glar

  
Okay You know your problem?

  
It's not Glar
Or Neera

  
It's Lem

  
Look at you,
you're so left brain

  
Or is it right brain?

  
Whatever, you're like
the chief of control

  
You gotta loosen up

  
We got a little time

  
You, my friend, are in luck

  
The doctor

  
is in

  
Me and Green bean need to talk

  
Before we begin,
I have a technical question

  
Are you considered very

  
ugly on this planet?
- What?

  
- Because I can tell
- No

  
I mean

  
- I'm okay
- Good, good

  
Why do chicks dig me?

  
Because I'm handsome?

  
Because I'm an astronaut?

  
Yes and yes

  
But it's also because of
Chuck Baker's three steps

  
to romance

  
Spot your prey
Make your move

  
Show no mercy

  
Hey baby,

  
I saw you across the bar

  
Are sparks flying
or is this place on fire?

  
- You're sure are not ugly, right?
- I think so

  
Maybe tomorrow
I'll go up in space,

  
maybe never to return

  
Let's make our last night,

  
a night to remember

  
Lem

  
The cork

  
Remember the plan

  
The only plan here
is to get Chuck on TV

  
I'll be right back with the reporter

  
I'm leaving you in charge

  
In charge?

  
You heard him

  
Things are gonna be
different around here

  
My wish is your command

  
Come on, boys
Let's track down the story

  
We need an alien
for the 6 o'clock news

  
- Let's go
- Hey

  
We're really upset

  
Upset we really are

  
Are we upset, really?

  
- We're really, really upset
- Neera, I need to talk to you

  
I thought you were after the alien

  
- That's not what's going on
- Then what is?

  
- I
- Lem

  
Mysterious Lem

  
Tell us the secrets of your heart

  
I can't say

  
Lem, I always thought
we'd be together,

  
but I need someone who doesn't always
believe what he's been told

  
It's like Glar says

  
The times

  
they are a different

  
Maybe you should go

  
Hey baby

  
- What?
- This place is sparking or

  
this fire making
this a night or

  
show no mercy

  
Did I happen to mention
I'm not ugly?

  
What?
Are you crazy?

  
Is this guy giving you bad vibrations?

  
Lem was just leaving

  
Are you kidding me?
- If you have to do number one,

  
use these papers

  
If you had to do number two,
go outside

  
And if it's number three,

  
I can't help you

  
Got you, alien

  
- Victory or extinction
- Oh, yeah?

  
In space
no one can hear you scream

  
- Missed
- Crush Kill Destroy

  
Crush Kill Destroy

  
Hey, master,
we wanna be destroyed too

  
Quick, cover the camera

  
If it's get damaged again
we will have to pay for it

  
You're afraid of a little storm?

  
It's nothing
See?

  
Rover

  
Rover

  
Sit, Rover
Sit, stop, heel

  
Rover, come back
Listen

  
You can't escape the

  
It's pulling you to your doom

  
Six o'clock news, here we go

  
Soon we will crush the rebel alliance

  
and control the galaxy

  
Thank you, thank you
Thank you

  
You're a rebel spy
and a traitor to the empire

  
Take her away

  
Skiff

  
Hasta la vista, baby
You’re terminated

  
General, over there
Aren't those comic books?

  
Captain, get your men

  
We gotta get out of here now

  
Move it

  
Go Go Go

  
Chuck, come on

  
Sorry, too dangerous

  
- But
- Out

  
Shoot him

  
Don't you ever run off like that

  
What if they take to the pound?

  
How do I find you?

  
Lem?

  
Oh, boy

  
We better run

  
Let's move

  
Move it Move it

  
Let the doctor handle this

  
Ladies,

  
Who wants to meet an astronaut?

  
- Please, one at a time
- Chuck

  
I'm on Facebook

  
Look there
The monster

  
He's getting away

  
Rover
No

  
All right, quick, hot-wire the car

  
What? Hot-wired, who?

  
When are you, green goopers,
gonna evolve?

  
Attention all personnel

  
What's the matter?

  
Why did he do it?
I was gonna teach him to fetch

  
Amazing

  
The alien's brain is so powerful
it's controlling them even now

  
What is it telling you to do?

  
I think I'm supposed to dig
a hive for the alien queen

  
Yeah, I'm supposed to blow up things

  
I mean, unless you need help
with the hive

  
- Oh, no, I'm good
- You sure?

  
- I'm good
- Never mind them, Professor

  
This thing has all the answers

  
Where's your master?

  
Talk

  
The flying saucer is going to an
undisclosed location

  
to be taken apart and studied

  
This reporter is now going to
reveal to you where that location is

  
This reporter has just been told,

  
that if I do that,
I'll be taken apart and studied

  
Oh, look, that's perfect

  
That's great
Oh, just great Perfect

  
John Glenn goes around the world

  
he's a Senator for life

  
I went across the freaking universe

  
I should be Governor, minimum

  
But no, I'm marooned here
on this stupid rock

  
This "stupid rock" is my home

  
Or was until you came along
and ruined everything

  
I want my life back

  
Unless, I don't know, maybe there's
something else you want to ruin

  
Who's that?

  
My boss

  
Sorry, Mr Hucklo,
it's just for one night

  
Maybe a week

  
I really hope this doesn't affect our
working relationship

  
Oh, great
Just great

  
Fired

  
Why don't you just
harvest my organs and

  
get it over with

  
Great, now look what you did
You made him really upset

  
Lem?

  
Lem?

  
You're looking right at my home

  
See that star,
the little red one?

  
Circling that star is a planet
called Earth

  
It's about 20 billion miles away

  
- Give or take
- There's no way space is that big

  
What?
Are you kidding?

  
There's billions of galaxies

  
And each galaxy has billions of stars

  
Next to that, kid,
our planets are just

  
dust in the wind

  
So, nothing I knew was right?

  
Come on, you knew about Neera

  
I mean, look at her

  
Lose the antenna,
get some plastic surgery

  
she's a hottie

  
I don't have the right stuff
like you

  
Kid

  
I never had the right stuff

  
I'm a button pusher

  
Spam in a can

  
I don't even fly the ship
It's all automatic

  
I only got this far on charm
and my rugged good looks

  
You risked everything to help
a stranger from another world

  
You are the one
with the right stuff

  
Finally, we been looking for you

  
Guys

  
Great hiding spot

  
- I go for the closet
- No way

  
Let's go fight the army

  
How's your species at hiding?

  
Can you change your skin
to this colour?

  
Your call Captain Baker

  
What's it gonna be?
Fight or hide?

  
Neither

  
I think Lem said
he wants the closet

  
I tell you what's it gonna be

  
We're gonna go get Chuck
back to his ship

  
Skiff, you were right about Base 
  
- That where they have his ship
- But, we don't where it is

  
Yes, we do
Rover found me,

  
he's also programmed
to find my ship

  
Wait
Where is Rover?

  
It's too painful to talk about

  
It's okay

  
They've got him
at the comic book shop

  
Well, then we've gotta go get him

  
Hold on
The whole army's looking for you two

  
You can't just stroll through town

  
Wait That new movie
doesn't that open tonight?

  
Yeah

  
Why?

  
The citizens of Glipforg
are undaunted by alien invaders

  
And bravely going about
their normal routines

  
Gotcha

  
There's the comic book store
Let's go

  
What great costumes

  
You two are finalists

  
Up on stage

  
No, we're not here to
enter the contest

  
Then why are you dressed
like aliens?

  
We're here

  
to win the contest

  
- What?
- Yeah Good

  
Private, come here

  
Hold your fire, soldier

  
Take us to your leader

  
Welcome to the "Humaniacs 3"
costume contest

  
Really upset

  
Really upset

  
Well, here we got the finalists

  
What are we supposed to do?

  
Give them their
daily minimum dose of Chuck

  
Hello, Humaniacs

  
The alien

  
Lem

  
Over here

  
All these costumes, sir

  
How do we find the alien?

  
It's simple, Captain
Like us, the alien is in uniform

  
Grab him

  
I got you

  
Chuck
No No Get up

  
Hey, keep back

  
Time to meet the monster

  
Face to face

  
Look at it, Professor

  
It's hideous

  
And it smell

  
Hey, you try wearing the same suit
for three weeks

  
What a remarkable brain
you must have

  
An incision here

  
And here
It should pop right out

  
No, you're making a mistake
He's friendly

  
This poor boy is obviously a zombie

  
I’ll remove his brain too

  
You are no longer needed slave

  
I release you

  
Return to your puny life

  
Kid, I'm going down anyway

  
There's no need for you
to come with me

  
Thanks

  
For everything

  
How about it, Professor?

  
Difficult to tell

  
Do you still believe
the alien is friendly?

  
No

  
This boy is free

  
We're so glad you're not a zombie

  
What about the alien spawn, sir?

  
I want it destroyed

  
One little piece at a time

  
All right Let's get these
aliens to Base 
  
Not that it exists

  
Move it

  
Get in

  
We're here to honor a young man

  
who survived a harrowing ordeal

  
at the hands of the alien monster

  
Lem, come on out

  
All right?

  
So, Lem, I understand you'll be working
right here after you graduate

  
Teaching about the mysteries of space

  
Give us a preview of
what we'll learn

  
Well, we know everything
about our universe

  
It's 500 miles long

  
500 miles

  
Remarkable

  
I can't

  
Space isn't 500 miles

  
It's not It's so much bigger
than we can imagine

  
There's billions of galaxies and
each galaxy has billions of stars

  
And next to that,
our planet is just

  
Excuse me

  
Lem?

  
I know I was kinda harsh

  
I'm really sorry

  
Hi, Neera

  
What are you doing?

  
It's called hot-wiring

  
It's how they start cars on Earth

  
Lem, um

  
I was thinking well

  
You know, now that
this is all over

  
- Yeah, Neera?
- Maybe

  
We could

  
Lem

  
You left everyone hanging

  
I'm gonna go find Chuck

  
But how?

  
It's impossible without Rover

  
My little Rovy

  
I can still hear his
wagging little antenna

  
Rover?

  
You're alive

  
But how did you get out?

  
Good going, boy

  
Rover, can you find Chuck?

  
Where's Chuck?

  
You're going with me?
- Hm-Hmm

  
All right

  
So you thought you could
take over our world?

  
Your kind knows no decency

  
You mean Jake Mankins?

  
No, aliens

  
Tell us your invasion plans

  
And don't bother taking over my mind

  
If you do

  
Captain Kizno has orders to shoot me

  
If you take over Captain Kizno's mind,

  
Lt Groit has orders to shoot him

  
If you take over Lt Groit's mind,

  
Sergeant Yerk will shoot Captain Kizno,
Lt Groit and myself

  
along with these three soldiers

  
Each man has a designated
target in the squad

  
Should you succeed in taking over
all of our minds,

  
Corporal Hisk has orders to
electrocute everyone

  
If this fails,
the entire base is rigged to blow

  
at the touch of a button

  
General, sir, am I supposed to shoot
Hecknavar or Kolski?

  
- I shoot Kolski
- No, you shoot Meckavoy

  
Well, then who shoots Kolski?

  
I can shoot myself

  
That won't be necessary

  
Hecknavar, you shoot Kolski,
Captain Kisno and graze Corporal Hisk

  
- Yes, sir
- Not yet

  
- Drop your weapon
- You

  
- Him first
- You

  
- I'm not taking my eyes off Kisno
- Drop it, Dirt-bag

  
Hold your fire

  
Hold your fire

  
Captain Kizno

  
get everyone out of here

  
You're not thinking
all this is my fault, right?

  
All right

  
You won't tell us

  
There's another way to unlock
the secrets of your brain

  
Professor Kipple

  
He's all yours

  
He thinks we found him

  
Hang on, Chuck

  
We'll find you

  
There you are

  
I was just warming up for you

  
I'll have that brain of his, no time

  
You don't want my brain,
it's useless

  
I spent four years at a party school

  
Trust me, it's mush

  
Hello?

  
Anyone here?

  
Skiff, what are you doing?

  
Come on, no one's around

  
I'm not gonna get caught

  
What, what, what?
I'm paying I'm paying

  
The thing with the

  
I mean, it just went over the
Wow

  
Base 
  
This is amazing

  
I was right again

  
How do we get in
without being seen?

  
Hold now
- What?

  
But I'm sorry, officer,
your rules ain't good for me

  
One thing you gotta do that's
stick it to the man Stick it to the man

  
Stick it to the man Stick to

  
Now

  
Cool

  
I don't suppose your planet's
invented pain killers?

  
Good work, Rover

  
Guys, this is so Luke Skywalker

  
By the way,

  
you're not brother and sister, right?

  
How much time is left?
- Just enough

  
Rover here will take us
right to my ship

  
That's a funny place for his antenna

  
Captain, I want the whole base
on red alert

  
Yes, sir

  
General, you must save its brain

  
I'm more concerned with
saving our world

  
Move it out Move it out

  
That professor's a genius

  
I feel positively effervescent

  
In fine fettle
What a salubrious experience

  
Well said Cheers

  
My ship

  
Hey, way to go, kid

  
Step away from the flying saucer

  
And put your hands in the air

  
There was never a chance
for you to getaway

  
You'd destroy the whole base

  
just to get me?

  
That is sick

  
Actually, it's kind of flattering

  
Sick?

  
Sick, young lady, is helping the
enemy of your world

  
Sick is befriending a creature
that's so completely

  
different

  
Sick is

  
Well look, it's right in front of you

  
I'm sorry, Professor

  
It's too dangerous to let
the alien live another minute

  
Wait, wait, wait Stop

  
General

  
I know what you're afraid of

  
And it's not Chuck

  
It's not monsters or
or aliens

  
It's the unknown

  
I've spent my whole life
running from it

  
And

  
I think maybe you’ve too

  
But I'm telling you

  
the unknown isn't something
to be afraid of

  
It can be your best friend

  
And just when you think that it means
the end of everything you know

  
It's really just the beginning

  
Base destruct

  
2 minutes

  
What are you looking at?
Run

  
Take that

  
Everyone on board
Let's go

  
Attention all personnel
Evacuate Base immediately!

  
What are you doing?
- I can't leave him here

  
- Why not?
- Because he's got the right stuff

  
Base destruct,
60 seconds

  
There's no time for auto-pilot

  
What's the matter now?

  
I'm gonna have to pilot this bucket

  
Base destruct in 15 seconds

  
She is so heavy

  
You guys should check this out

  
Hey, what do you think?
- It's such a big universe

  
I'm definitely coming back here

  
Am I a zombie now?

  
This guy reads too many comic books

  
Hey, Neera

  
Now that this is all over

  
- Would you wanna
- Yes

  
But you didn't hear what I

  
Gross

  
Strap in, everyone

  
Because I'm taking you home

  
Hey, it's Lem

  
Hi

  
The monster

  
Hey, it's all right, Chief
He's with me

  
Soldiers, attention

  
There is among us an astronaut

  
Captain

  
Thanks for coming back for me

  
A pleasure, General

  
Maybe next time you have guests,
you'll throw a better party

  
Kid, how'd you like to be president

  
of the local
"Chuck Baker party maker" fan club?

  
Be a good boy

  
And don't forget to drink your oil

  
Rover

  
You coming?

  
Or you wanna stay here?

  
Rover

  
My little big boy

  
Lem

  
You saved my life

  
And you saved mine, too

  
That was a, uh, man-hug just there

  
It's very big on my planet

  
Hey, take care of this guy, okay?

  
You're a great planet
and your '50s are fine

  
But give me a call
when you get to the '60s

  
Because that's gonna be fun!