First Sunday Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the First Sunday script is here for all you fans of the . This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some First Sunday quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

First Sunday Script

I can't remember
the last time this thing worked.

Son, you got a gift.

Your man, on the other hand....

Do me a favor,
tonight when you close...

...double check and make sure
everything is locked.

Had a few things walk out of here.

Now, you know, Soul Joe,
I'll never steal nothing from you.

After everything you did for me?

Just keep a lookout.


Rob from the rich
and give to myself.

- LeeJohn, what the hell you doing?
- Getting my money on.

- Man, we putting that back.
- No, we not!

Put it back! It's going back in.

You gonna get us fired?



That's my TV!

Somebody gonna get pregnant
tonight. That's what's up.

Come on, Rell, man,
that's my new joint, man.

- You get the job?
- Do it look like I got the job?

I got us a job.


You need to take the stickers off.
You ain't even never got no weed.

Twenty-four inch
chrome-plated rims.

Twenty-four inch chrome plate,
real deal.

Custom leather seats.

Custom, cush leather seat.

Ten chairs. Twelve hundred dollars

You do the maths.

You have 24 hours.

Tick-tock, gun-shot.

Bullet. Bullet.

Bullet, bullet, bullet.

You think that's 24 hours from now...

...or from when he said it
10 minutes ago?

Hey, is that Jamaican time
or American time?

What is this, man,
Pimp My Wheelchair?

What this is,
is us getting paid $3000... deliver these wheelchairs
across town.

What the hell was that?

What the hell?
Why you run the light?


I ain't going back to jail, man!
I ain't going back to no jail!

We've got a beige van
going over Fourth Avenue.

Police, black man, wheelchair?
That's jail!

All right, don't panic. Just roll.

You didn't lock the back latch!
We're losing chairs!

Oh, man!

It's not my van!

This is my cousin Doug's.
With the one eye.

This is his van.

He said he fixed it!

Yo! Yo, those are our chairs, man!
They're taking our chairs!

Don't worry about them chairs,
just worry about them cops.

They coming on us! They still on us!

They still on us, man.
Turn right here, right here.

Watch out! Watch out!

What had happened,
it was me and LeeJohn.

- We was driving--
- Shut up.

- Your Honor! I was--
- Yo, wait-- You better shut up.

Wouldn't be in this damn mess
if it wasn't for you.

- For me?
- Yeah.

Wait a minute, now it's my fault
because I was trying to help you out?

- Shut the hell up.
- The both of you, shut up!

Mr. Jackson...

...six months ago you were caught
shoplifting at a Stop and Shop...

...with a box full of Ding Dongs...

...and a six pack of
banana strawberry Boone's Farm.

Your Honor, it was Goober Grape.

When the arresting officer
searched you...

...he found a $20 bill
in your pocket.

Why didn't you pay for it?

Because this dude named Bo Peep
was on my ass about $20 and l--

And you, Mr. Washington.

You scored higher on your SAT than
anyone in your graduating class...

...and yet you've been
in three juvenile detention centers...

...twice on house arrest
and once on probation.

A perfect example of potential
with no purpose.


Anything either of you
have to say for yourself?

If I go to jail,
they're gonna make me a woman.

LeeJohn Jackson has been shuffled
from one foster home to another.

Durell Washington is the product of a
single-parented home, Your Honor...

...never having the benefit
of a father figure.

Your Honor, the youth of our city
need to be given a chance.

Yes, the youth do.

But with respect, Your Honor,
these are grown ass men.

- What is your problem?
- You need a hobby.

You need another hobby
besides sending black men to jail.

- I'll send any man to jail I want.
- Order in the court!

- You better watch your language.
- My bad, Your Honor.

Given the record that Mr. Jackson and Mr.
Washington have so enthusiastically earned...

...I have every right to send the both
of you to jail for a very long time.

- Come on, man...
- But I'm not gonna do that.

Now, I've decided to forgo
any possibility of a jail sentence...

...under the condition that the both
of you perform community service.

- I love my community.
- I got no problem with that.

Five thousand hours
of community service!

Five thousand hours?

Goodbye, and good riddance.

- Do we get paid for this?
- I ain't doing no 5000 hours, man!

I ain't doing no 5000 hours. Get off!

- I said, let go! Hell, no!
- Five thousand--

Attica! Attica!

Get them out of here.

All right, lsh Kabibble.

I'm sorry.

I know. I know you sorry.

You know how I know?

Because you was sorry
in kindergarten... was sorry in elementary,
and super sorry in junior high.

Would've been sorry in high school,
but you never went.

I went to high school.
I just didn't graduate.

I hate you.

Yeah? Well, I love you.
It could always be worse, Rell.

Worse? What could be worse?

Yo, Rell, you got to walk with me
over here, man.

Don't leave me hanging like this.

- That's your problem.
- Rell--

That's your problem.

Don't do it.

Yo, Blahka.

Blahk? Open up, Blahk.
Hey, what's up?

My favorite buffalo soldier.
Man, we heard you was in the region.

Myself and Durell.
Durell is gonna come over-- Durell?

I'm done with criminal activity.

Man, he ain't gonna come over
right now, because he's preoccupied.

But listen, man, we was looking for
you and searching high and low, baby.

Twenty-four hours was up
72 hours ago.

But you, I know, but--
What had happened was that--

Ten chairs. Twelve hundred dollars

You do the maths.

Tick-tock, gun-shot.



- Who is it?
- It's me.

Me who? It ain't nobody that pay bills
in here. Say your name.

Omunique, open the door.

You got a damn peephole.

What you want?

Not you.

I came to walk my son
to the bus stop.

Yo, move back.

- Now, where's my money?
- I ain't giving you nothing.

- Oh, really?
- I gave you money last Friday.

- What you do with it?
- I bought gum.

Don't make me go downtown and file
these court papers, Rell.

Don't make me do it.

Don't make me put the man in
the middle cause I promise you I will.

Rethink it. Dig in them pockets
and pull out something.

That's what I thought.

- Might as well be pimping. Here.
- Give me....

Forty dollars?
What I'm supposed to do with this?

What you always do with it.
Complain about it, then go spend it.

You know what? You come here
every day with the same thing:

Nothing. He don't eat air.

Well, learn how to cook.

We got bills up in this house.

Why don't you contribute, pay,
do something?

Hey, Dad.

- Hey, man.
- Hey.

Rell? Come say hello to your father.

Girl, don't play with me.

Hey, hey, hey. What's up, man?

- How you doing?
- I'm doing good.

What's up with this hair?
Look like a S.O.S. pad.

Tell your mama you want your hair
done as good as she do her clients.

And you tell your father he should
either contribute to my business...

...or stay out of it.


I put in some work.

What up, little gangster?

Hey, hey, man.
Watch your mouth around my son.

- Why you sweating?
- It's hot in here.

I've been trying to say
it's a little stuffy up in here.

Rell, go get your backpack
for school. And comb your hair.

Hey, what are you doing?

Fixing your raggedy- ass thermostat
before my son dies of heat stroke.


I'm thinking about moving down South
to Atlanta with my grandmother.

You out your rabid- ass mind?
You ain't taking my son nowhere.

What you say?

Listen, my lease is up on the shop.

The owner got somebody
to pay a year in advance... unless you got $17,342,
I gotta go.

Why you can't do hair out
your house like you been doing?

I can't run an entire salon
out of my house, Durell.

I got equipment, I got employees.

You got clients.

And I got goals.

Durell, I was two stylists away
from filling up my shop.

I'm tired of struggling.

I'm tired of our son
watching me struggle.

I don't want to take Rell away from
you, but I gotta do what's best for him.

And I gotta do what's best for me.

What's best for him
is to be with his father.


What about what's best for me?
Or does that even matter to you, ever?

No, it don't.

Because you not my responsibility
no more, he is.

Why are you always doing this to me?

I'm not raising the next man's kid,
I'm raising your son!

- Your son.
- You keep your ass out of it, okay?

Stop disrespecting my clients!

Sit there and worry about getting
your hair burnt.

What you need to do is stand up
there and burn a job out.

That's what you need.

- Stop.
- I'll pull a track out.

You ain't gonna pull out nothing.
Not up in here, you ain't. I'm good.

Your client's disrespecting me.

Don't talk about her weave.
That's her hair.

Listen, I'm asking you right--

Baby, hey.

Come give me a hug.
You got your bags?

You gonna have a good day
at school?

Give me a soul kiss?

- I love you.
- Love you too.

You think he can fix the cable too?

No, why don't you fix the cable?

How you gonna ask another man
to fix the cable?

He fixed the air.

Old boy up there, he don't
be messing with you, do he?

No, he just sleeps all day, you know,
since the cable stopped working.

Yeah. Man, your mama
sure know how to pick them.

She picked you,
I mean, you weren't so bad.

What you mean, I wasn't so bad?
Don't be pushing on me, boy.

- You know I'm B-Mo's finest?
- Yes.

Am I B-Mo's finest? All right, then.
Let it be known. All right.

Okay, okay.

You ever finish that report on what
you want to be when you grow up?

Yeah, I wanna be
like LeBron James.

You and every other little kid
in the 'hood.

Just in case that don't work...

...not saying it won't, but if it don't,
you gotta have a plan B.

What's a plan B?

A plan B is like a backup plan
if your original plan don't work.

Okay. So, what's your plan B?

My plan B....

My plan B is... make sure your peanut head
get on the bus on time every morning.

That's my plan A and B.

Dad, you need a plan C.

You need to get on that bus.

- Hey, Dad?
- Yeah?

I know what my plan B is.

- What?
- It's to be just like you.

I want you to promise me something.

Promise me you'll be better than me.

- I want you to promise me something too.
- What?

Please don't let Mom take me
to Atlanta.


Oh, man, don't worry about that, man.
Ain't nobody gonna take you nowhere.

All right, man.
Go on and make your bus.

Yeah, come on, Rell!

Get your lazy ass up.
Let's go to work!

Let's go, Rell, come on!
Get the molasses out your ass!

Seventeen thousand, three hundred
and forty-two dollars in a month?

Because she wants you
to pay her bills?


And she know damn well
I can't leave the state.

By the time I see my son again, he
gonna be graduated from high school.

There's always college.

You really don't care
somebody's trying to kill us?

Us? They're trying to kill you.

Now, this was your idea, remember?
I don't even know these dudes.

You got your ass in it,
you can get your ass out of it.

Matter of fact, all I'm really worried
about is getting 17 G's... my son don't have
to move to Atlanta.

You see that whole conversation there
that just came out of your mouth?


Yeah, that's me. Selfish.

Crenshaw. Crenshaw.


May I have three slices of lemon...

...four packs of sugar
and a tall glass of ice water?

With no attitude.

So one lemonade?

Well, let me rephrase it for you...

...I know you was in special ed
and I'm gonna forgive you...

...but I would like
three free slices of lemon...

...four free packs of sugar
and a tall glass of free ice water.

And it's called baby hair
because it's for babies.

You know what? I got some more
baby hair, wanna see it?

You shouldn't have
never messed with that girl.

Durell, get down.

It's Blahka, man.

- It's Blahka.
- So?

I know where
we can get the money from.

- Who?
- Mordecai.

He gives out loans at a massage shop
in the west side of Baltimore.

I can get the money I need and
you can get the money you need.

Hi, how are you?

You speak my language.
We're here to see Mordecai.

Our Swedish massages
start at 49.50.

We need to talk to Mordecai,
we trying to get a loan here.

So, what sort of massage will it be?

Didn't you hear me?

Let me speak to you over here
for a minute.

That's the code, man. Damn, relax.

We came here to get a loan.

And I'm getting a massage.

- Are you coming or not?
- Not.

Let's go, baby.

You like Minnie Riperton?
I love Minnie Riperton.

- Yo, LeeJohn?
- I save that song for special occasions.

Hey, LeeJohn?

Hey, yo, LeeJohn, we need
to find Mordecai and get out of here.


Hey, man, let's go.

My name is LeeJohn Jackson,
and I'm a Leo.

King of the jungle.

Do you wanna know my name?

I just don't want to know your name,
I want you to whisper it in my ear.


Bitches, help me! Shit.

That's a man, dog! LeeJohn!
That's a man!

I won't tell if you don't tell!

Don't bring your ass around here unless
you ready to borrow some money!

Playing with my emotions.

Hey, yo, about last night?

About the fact that you was
enjoying that massage, by a man?

Hey, Durell, I was not enjoying
no massage by no nasty--

Just because a man sings a slow jam
while another man's massaging him...

...does not mean he was enjoying it.

- What does it mean?
- What it means is, I'm in love with Minnie Riperton.

That song touches
a sensitive side of me... I wanted to share it
with other men.

Hey, man! Yo, homey!
Yo, that could be one of our chairs!

No, not today.

- We gonna get creamed--
- Not today.

That's our chair.

- Don't worry about that chair.
- Blahka!

That's what you need
to be worrying about. That right there.

Now let the church say amen.

Or a- woman.

Hey there, Beige.

That's what I'm talking about.

See, now, that's the reason why I sing.

Yo, LeeJohn, where you going?

I'm gonna meet me
a Mary Magdalene!

- Get your ass out of the street.
- Wait.

Man, you better get back over here.

LeeJohn! Yo, LeeJohn!

Wait for me.

Durell, man, this is like Club Jesus.

And they got a open bar.
Look at this.


In the cheap seats? Come on, man,
this is the Rosa Parks section.

You remind me of my uncle, man,
his name was Tom.

My knee.

Hey, y'all got Cheez Whiz?

I don't know what goes on in church.
I've never been.

You have a three drink minimum?

I'm getting tore up from the floor up.

These people be feeling it.

The presence of the Lord... here.


I would like all of our visitors here
in the church today to please stand.

- Right now.
- Welcome.

- That's all right.
- Welcome to the house of the Lord.

Y'all know,
the first time, you're a visitor...

...the next time, you're family.

Hallelujah. Welcome, sugar.

See, y'all visiting today, so y'all
may not know here at First Hope...

...we don't believe in last hope,

When you go for three months
without paying your electric bill.

And you hope they don't cut you off.

Say it now, preacher, say it!

I'm talking about you, Sister Baker.

You need to just slow down, baby.

Over the last year and a half,
we've raised almost $230,000.

- Say amen, church.
- Yes!

Bingo. Yahtzee.

Which, as you know...

...we are considering using
to build a new sanctuary... a less....

- Urban.
- Congested neighborhood.

He's using big words now.
Sanctuary. Congested. That means....

- The ghetto.
- Ghetto. Yeah.

Oh, no, sugar. Right here, right here.
It's all right, right here.

Ain't nothing wrong.

Oh, Lord, my husband's
turning over in his grave.

Even if we don't move,
even if we stay right here...

...we still need some more money... help us with these costly repairs
and improvements here in the church.

Like central air, for one thing.

So I'm calling on you because
we need your help.

Anybody outta here in the church this
morning who's got $100 hope...

...stand to your feet right now.

Don't stand up if you ain't got it.

- That's a lot of $100 hope up in here.
- I'm getting them on camera phone.

Now, Malachi 3 and Verse 8,
it asks a simple question.

Will a man rob God?

Hundred dollar down to
a penny with a hole in it...

...stand to your feet right now.

Now, I want you all
to turn to your neighbor.

- Get some of these people--
- Look your neighbor in the eye...

...and say to him or her...

...the same thing that was said
over a thousand years ago.

- Will a man...
- Will a man...

- ...rob God?
- ...rob God?

I'm not robbing no church, man.

Would you-- ?

Ain't anybody talking about
robbing no church.

I'm talking about robbing
the people in the church.

Like they ain't never
done nothing wrong.

I remember one time, my foster mother
took me into a street service...

...and they was giving out free food
to people who was getting baptized.

And just because I wasn't getting
baptized, I couldn't eat.

- And I couldn't swim.
- Okay, get over it.

How many times
you gonna tell this story?

A million more!

Get over it.

Look, that is God's money,
and God do not want Blahka to kill us.

LeeJohn, I'm not robbing
no damn church.

All right, don't rob the church.

But when Durell Jr. is in Atlanta calling
some big, ugly black dude "Daddy"...

...don't be mad at me.

Watch your mouth.
My son ain't going nowhere.

I'll come across this table
on you, boy.

It ain't the first time
you came across the table on me.

- Won't be the last time.
- I'm telling the truth.

Now you wanna
explode in violence?


Durell, I'm leaving next week.

Next week?
What happened to next month?

Landlord said I have to have the
money by next week. I don't have it.

Do you?

- No.
- Of course you don't.

Now where you gonna get
the money from?

Record your message
after the tone.

Hey, Dad, it's me. You promised.

You promised that you won't
let Mom take me to Atlanta.

I love you. I gotta go. Bye.

Everybody and their mother
thought they was gonna win.

Well, you tell Scott when I get
his money I will give it to him.

Okay? He can't get what I ain't got.


I'm in.

Let me call you right back.
I'll call you right back.

Look, now, all we got to do... get to whoever got the money
before they get to the bank.

No. We ain't letting the money
get out.

We gonna get it while it's still in there.

That's what I was saying.
We gonna go get the money tonight.

Before it walks out of there.

- Yes.
- Through here.

I don't care about that goddamn pole,
man. Let's go.

Wait, I see something.

Put that damn thing down.
Let's go.

That scared the hell out of me.

Come on, man.

Come on, D.

D? Let's go, baby.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

What the hell you doing?
What the hell you doing?

- Why you got that in my face?
- Just trying to....

Man, you're so dumb sometimes.

Damn. I broke it.

Durell, that's a sign, man.
That's a omen, man.

Things happen for a reason, Durell.

The universe
is starting to speak to us.

We can go that way.

I'm not climbing up there.
I'm not Spider-Man.

- And I'm not scaling no wall.
- Who plan was this?

This was my plan, but I ain't
said nothing about scaling no wall.

No. No. No, Durell, no.

Ten wheelchairs, 1200 apiece.
You do the math.

Kiss my ass, Rell.

Don't bust your ass.

Who the hell you looking for?

- I ain't see you.
- I'm standing right here, dumbass.

- I gotcha.
- All right. You gotta stop tweaking.

Get it together, get it together!
LeeJohn, get it together.

- Okay.
- Come on.

Hurry up.

That's my knee.


- Hey, Durell?
- What?

- He keep looking at me.
- Who?

White Jesus.

No matter where I go...

...the eyes go with me.

White Jesus!


What happened?

My grandmama done gave 31G's
to this church.

We should've robbed her ass.

- Hey, D?
- What?

You think there's really a hell?

Because I'm not a bad person.
I just be in bad situations.

You know what it is? My foster mother
used to beat me too much.

She used to come in and say:

"I'm gonna beat you till candy
come out. I'm gonna beat you till-- "

- What's this?
- Pastor's study.

Lock that door.

- Yo, Durell?
- What?

They doing the same thing.
Look at the eyes.

Don't worry about them pictures.

I didn't kill the dream.


- Pot-jack. That's good work, homeboy.
- For shizzle.

We ain't got time for that.

- Be careful. Don't blow us up.
- Let's get this guap.

Man, you know that ain't
no damn cherry bomb. Come on.

You know what you doing?

- lf you blow us up, boy, I'll--
- Hit the deck!

Get your head down.

Try it again.

- Do you know what you're doing?
- I know what I'm doing.

Keep your mouth shut
and you won't get shot!

- Oh, my--
- Open up that safe.

What safe?

- That safe.
- Oh, man.

Still ain't open, man!

- All right, give me the combination.
- I don't know the combination.

- Don't get cute, Pink!
- I don't know the combination!

You got the key to the office,
but you don't know the combination?

Don't lie to me.

What are you doing?

Come here! Look, man.
What the hell wrong with you?

Do you know this is your plan?
Do you remember that?

Not to put a grown-ass man
in time, out, it wasn't!

I'm climbing out that window,
and I'm jumping off that fire escape...

...and I'm gonna boogie- woogie
my black ass out of here, right now!

No, you ain't. No, you--

- Who is that?
- Don't know.

All right, Pink.
You know what I got in my pocket?

All right, get over here.
Open that door.

- Deacon?
- Okay, okay.

Why is this door locked, Deacon?
Oh, you have company.

Timmy, sit down over there.

Well, no smoking in the church.


I'm Doris McPherson,
the church secretary...

...and this is my son, Timmy.

Timmy, stop all that jumping.
Stop, stop.

And you are?

- Leonard.
- Leonard.


You're both named Leonard?

Yeah, but we say it differently.

It's a family tradition that both
the boy cousins is named Leonard.


Deacon, the pastor would like
you to come to the meeting... that we can get started
and leave early.

He'd also like you to bring
the financial records, okay? All right.

Timmy, come on. Baby, come on.

Very nice meeting you, Leonard.

Please bring the records now,

Who else is here?

- Everybody.
- Everybody?

Get over here.
Open that safe, right now!

Could you come now? Deacon?

- Let's leave right now!
- Shut up. Open.

If I don't go,
they're just gonna keep coming back.

That's why we should be out of here.
Let's take flight!

- Deacon? The pastor, he's waiting.
- Come on, let's go.

Congregations move all the time,
Tianna. It's called progress.

No, Daddy, it's called profit...

...which is why the deacon
is always trying to get us to move.

Don't do that. Let me tell you,
you blow that bugle one more time... hear,
Jesus himself gonna have to come...

...and get off the cross and save you,
you hear me?

Come on, baby,
just sit where you always sit.

- You find the deacon?
- He's behind me.

I told him to come,
we been here all day, everybody tired.

Stop with the imaginary friends.

- Slow down.
- Okay, relax. I'll do whatever you say.

Here's what we gonna do.

You go in there and you answer
whatever question they got...

...excuse yourself,
and then we gonna ease on out.

They ask who we are, we here
to fix the church, you got that?

Do you got this? Okay.

That is the most crackish idea ever.

What, more crackish
than selling wheelchairs?

I don't know yet.

But they don't know us.
They gonna know something's wrong.

The only way they gonna know
something... if you act like something
is wrong, so don't.

Something is wrong!

- Oh, there he is.
- Oh, well, Deacon.

How gracious of you to return.

Tianna, don't start now.

Everyone, this is Leonard.
And this is....

- Leonard.
- So both of y'all named Leonard?

It's a family tradition.

All of the first boy cousins
are named Leonard.

Yeah, and they're doing some work
on the church... I'm gonna straighten them out
and be right back.

I hope you work
on this air conditioning.

It's hotter than four sisters in a phone
booth with G-strings on, that's hot.

Why would we do work
on the old church?

I mean, we're obviously just gonna
move to a new church, right, Deacon?

That decision hasn't been made.
Hold on.

I thought the deacon had
already made that decision for you.

And for me. Oh, well,
and for all of us, actually.

Momma T, did you know that
the deacon cast your vote?

- Were you aware?
- You cast her vote?


You mean that you let him
cast your vote and not cast mine?

Darling, I would never let anybody
take our voices away.

Lord have mercy.

What is this about?

Well, Momma T, that's
not entirely true, I didn't do that.

The money that we raise...

...should be used to fund
outreach programs in this community.

Yes, and a foster-care center
would be nice.

A convalescent home,
after-school programs.

The church
should inspire the community.

What about folks that walk to church and
can't afford transportation to the suburbs?

Maybe moving the church
will inspire them to get a job... that they can
afford some transportation.

- Deacon.
- I thought we hadn't decided...

...whether we were gonna
move the church.

You know what?

I thought the same thing,
until I found these...

...on my daddy's desk.

Those are ideas, Pastor.

Just, you know, possibilities in case
we all voted to move the church.

I'm trying to be prepared.

Arthur, is this true?

As I told my inquisitive daughter....

- Nosy daughter.
- Deacon.

Momma T, I haven't made
any decision yet, okay?

That's why we're meeting here
this evening.

Right, and I wanna participate
but I have some--

Look, right there. He's planning
to put an ATM right in the church.

-- will be right back.

Well, you can't do any business yet.

Why not, lady? We gotta go.

Because we haven't prayed yet,
and we need to pray on this.

Lord have mercy.

Like my late husband
used to always say:

"Man should always pray
and not faint."

Luke's 18:1.

I don't mean to disrespect
your husband, Luke 18 and 1...

...but is he gonna help us
with this drywall?

Because I got to get these tools
off the truck.

Oh, he's so funny, don't you think?

You gentlemen...

...will join us in a moment of prayer,
won't you?

Everybody join hands.
Take his hand, Timmy.


Precious Father....

Precious Father

We need you now

We come to you once again
this evening...

...thankful for yet another opportunity
to join as one.

Thankful for you today, right now

You said, where two or three
are gathered in your name...

Matthew's 18 and 20.

...there you'd be.

Thank you, Jesus.

We ask today that you not only
speak to our minds and our hearts....

Or our wallets.

Lord, pray for all the parents that keep
bringing their babies down here... get baptized,
without giving them a hot bath.

Last time, there was a ring around the
pool, and Brother Bertware got gout.

But also to our purpose.

Yes, and speaking of that, please,

...please pray for Sister Cora.

Pray for her, she got her head stuck
between the doors at Walgreens.

She was trying to change the station...

...on her iPod
her grandbabies bought her.

What a gift. What a gift.

We also seek your guidance today,
Heavenly Father... that we seek your will
and not ours.

- Or the deacon's.
- Or Tianna's.

All these things we ask....

- In Jesus' name...
- Let's get to work. Amen.


All right, I gotta go. I love you.
Gotta go home.

It's first Sunday. They not supposed
to rehearse till second Sunday.

- Well, they can't rehearse tonight.
- Why not?

Because it's just not a good night.
I'll be right back.

I'm gonna construct some construction
that needs to be constructed.

Exactly what I was talking about.

Wait, Tianna, hold on.
Why can't they-- ?

You're supposed to be singing
from your diaphragm.

And you are singing from somewhere
you have pain and anger.

We don't need that.

Why are you singling me out?

I'm not singling you out,
you are singling yourself out.

You can't be Deniece Williams,
you can't be a black butterfly.

- Somebody got to be a moth or one--
- Rickey, excuse me.

-- like a flying roach.

- Rickey.
- You not supposed to.

- You supposed to be behind the--
- Excuse me.

- Yes, may I help you?
- You can't meet here tonight.

Really? Well, that's kind of interesting,
because I am here tonight.

- Why I can't be here?
- You can't meet here tonight...

...because we're meeting here.

You know what, is there a problem?
Is this personal?

I am the deacon here,
and you need to--

The problem, Rickey, is that he's
always trying to control everything.

That's exactly what his problem is.
Back to y'all.

One, two, three, four.

Excuse me!

Excuse me, man.

Excuse you?
Don't nobody even know you.

Come on, let's sing.
They letting strangers just walk in.

- How you doing?
- Good, thank you. Right, here we go.

- What's over there?
- I'm about to do something.

- What you about to do?
- Just go over there and sit.

Daddy, can I talk to you in private?

Hey there, Leonard.

-- replacement.
He is the head deacon.

Everybody! Shut the hell up!

All that construction
has poor Leonard on edge.

First of all, my name ain't Leonard.

- It ain't?
- No.

- You Leonard?
- I'm still Leonard.

All right, Leonard.

Second of all, we didn't come
to repair this church.

We came to rob it.

Is this some sort of a joke, sir?
Nobody has time for this.

Look, I'm gonna need

Who are these two clowns
you brought in here?

You have to tell us what's going on.

- Where you going? Get off of me!
- They won't shoot the baby.

Durell, you better get down,
somebody got a gun.

That's me with the gun, fool. Get up.

You got a gun?

In the church?

God gonna whip your ass!

Go lock all the doors.

Now, we didn't come here
to hurt nobody, but we will.

All we want is the money.

Take your two-ways,
cell phones, beepers...

...anything you got that beep, buzz
or get on my nerves...

...put it in the basket.

Drop it in the bucket.
Save yourself a trip to the hospital.

Now, we gonna take this deacon
to the back.

He gonna open up this safe
and we gonna get outta here.

Simple and plain.

- Oh, my God!
- What's wrong with him?

Get your ass back!

The hell wrong with you?

You sure you wanna do that?

Look around you. You're not gonna
get away with this. This is a church.

I'm gonna get away with it,
just like you been getting away with it.

Selling hope.

Take his ass to the back,
he gonna open up this safe...

...and we gonna walk out that door.

And I'm gonna hope
I don't have to pull this trigger.

I can tell you gonna be trouble.

We need to sit you down.

We've seen your faces,
and that's not good.

But perhaps...

...I can somehow persuade the others to let 
the two of you just walk right out of here...

...and we can pretend this never
happened. But if I open this safe....

Never mind.

- It's gone.
- Gone?

Who would steal money
from a church?

- What?
- See, this is exactly why...

...I wanted to move the church
out of this community.

To avoid this type of thing.

This has nothing to do
with the community.

This has everything to do
with these two fools over here.

These two fools are the community.

Hold up. What's he talking about?
Who you calling "fool", chump?

The two fools
waving a gun in a church.

Don't call the two Leonards "fools."

I told you my name ain't Leonard.

- What is your name?
- I'm LeeJohn and that's Durell.

Oh, LeeJohn.


You just told them our real names.

Come back over here and sit down.

All right, one thing I do know,
whoever stole that money... still up in here, right now.

Who's to say?

Was the safe broken into? No.

Is the money missing? Yeah.

Yet everybody that got the
combination is sitting right here...

...on the same night the money come
up missing. Ain't that a coincidence?

Leonard? Leonard!

Leonard! You and your crazy logic!

Now, how you know they the only
ones that know the combination?

Ain't nobody meeting on the money
and how to spend it...

...unless they know where it is.

We certainly don't have it.
None of us. We just got here.

You should point this at whoever's
been here since the 1:00 service...

...hanging around here to talk.
We certainly wasn't in here.

I was not gonna be in here, in somebody's
meeting sweating my perm out...

...long as it take me
under some flat irons.

This is not even my church.
I saw this on MySpace.

I'm just not a good hostage
in a crisis situation...-

Since nobody left the church,
that mean the money is still here.

So one of y'all either got it
or know where it is.

So we ain't leaving until we find it.
Now is the time to start snitching.

You know something?

If you didn't have that gun,
I'd come over there and whoop...

Tianna. Hush.

I wanna see Jesus too,
but I don't wanna see him tonight.

Whose phone is that?

Who got a cell phone?
Didn't I tell y'all to put it in the basket?

That's probably Jesse Jackson
calling to free me.

That's your phone.

- Hey, man.
- Hey, Dad.

My PSP just stopped working.

Handle this.

- Handle what?
- Just sit there and hold that.

What, that?

Why there always got to be
a sidebar with you? Here.

- When's the last time you charged it?
- Last night.

Try turning it over
and just take the battery out.


Wipe off the battery terminal...

...but not with your hand, okay?

All right.

It's his son.

Try it again.

It's working.

I gotta go. I love you, Dad.

I love you too.

I'm sick of this bullshit.

I need to know where this money
is right now!

Please, have some respect
for the house of the Lord.

I gotta use the bathroom!

Okay then, let these people
finish robbing the church.

- I gotta use it now!
- Shut him up.

Why don't you just let the boy
go to the bathroom?

Why don't you just mind
your own business?

You might as well let him pee
because he's gonna pee regardless.

I was watching him earlier.

He hadn't been drinking water,
so it's probably ammonia.

You don't want that strong smell.
I'm gonna take him to the house...

...and make sure he's hydrated
and get some juice in him.

I'll bring him right back here.

And I'm gonna get Momma T,
I saw what you had for breakfast.

I know you probably bubbling
right now.

LeeJohn, take that little boy
to the bathroom.

I'm not gonna let anybody take
my Timmy to the bathroom.

Well, then let him pee in your purse.

Sit down!

Okay, the double doors.
The first door on the left.

Make sure you jiggle the handle after
you use it because it'll make noise.

Go ahead, Timmy, go on.

Why do I have to take him
to the bathroom?

I gotta figure out
who got this money.

Why don't you take him to the bathroom
and let me figure out who got the money?

Wait a minute, this is my idea.

Why do you
always gotta give the orders?

- You wanna give orders now?
- Please don't let him give the orders.

- I might.
- All right.

We got church people held hostage.

The money we came to steal?
Somebody stole it.

They done seen our faces and
because of you, they know our names.

LeeJohn and Durell.

See? So, what you suggest, huh?

You the smart one now.

And make sure
you jiggle the handle too.

Tuck your shirt in so I can
take you back to your moms, man.

She ain't my mama!

What you mean,
she ain't your moms?

This is my mom and this is me.

She said she's coming back to get me.
Least, that's what she said.

Yeah, well...

...until she do,
tuck your shirt in your pants.

Boy, nobody never teach you how
to tuck your shirt in your pants?


You know, that's all right.
Nobody never taught me either.

But this how you do,
you put the left in first.


Well, I don't know.
Who's doing the tucking?

Put your left in first...

...then you put your right in.
Let me see you do it.


Yeah, that's it.

Why don't somebody tell them where
the money is so we can go home?

You know, Leonard...

...maybe you should ask someone who
wishes we didn't have the money... we couldn't move the church.

Deacon, you out of line.

- You are way out of line.
- Out of line?

Yeah, out of line.

- We need to move to a safer environment.
- You have never...

- This is the wrong time to be arguing.
- Everybody just shut up! Shut up!

Y'all fuss and fight more
than me and LeeJohn up in here.

- Who's that?
- Mr. Wally.

He cleans the church.

Make a move,
I'll pop a cap in your ass.

You don't need to be scared.
He ain't got that many bullets.

He'd need one of them ones
where the bullets come all the way--

- He's legally blind.
- He can't see.

- He's partially deaf.
- He can't hear.

Then why y'all got this man
cleaning up the church?

He's free.

You don't need to clean
the church tonight.

Hey, man? Not tonight.

- Come again?
- Not tonight, man.

If I can't clean tonight,
it throws my whole week off.

What about my Monday appointment?
Can't do that till Tuesday.

What about my Tuesday appointment?
Can't do that till Wednesday.

What about my Wednesday

Can't do that till Thursday.
What about my...?

He's free.

...can't do that till Friday.

What about my Friday appointment?
Can't do that till Saturday.

Yo, who was that?

That was the blind and deaf
cleaning man.

Thought you was supposed
to lock the doors.

I did! I ran out of chain!

Okay. Here's what we gonna do.

We gonna do a little
one-on-one session.

See if I can jog some memories.

So you, big mouth.

- I got your big mouth.
- Lay one hand on my daughter--

- I'll go first.
- No, no, no.

I'll go first. I'll talk to him.

I would go first, but first
has already been taken twice.

- I will go first.
- But, Pastor, listen--

- It's fine, Deacon.
- Daddy, you can't...

It's fine. Honey, it's fine.

It's fine. The Bible says first
will be last. I'm gonna be last first.

Well, you can go first.

All right.

I'm gonna take his ass up there
and figure out where this is, okay?

You keep a eye on everybody.
Anybody move, you know what to do.


- Take that.
- Another gun?

Who are you?

I'm telling you, King,
it's the mambo sauce.

That's the magic, my man.

- I hear you. I hear you.
- I'm telling you, boy.

Look at that. It's a disgrace.

The church owns that building,

Yeah. If they're not gonna take care
of it, they should sell it.

Why would I steal money
from my own church?

We're here to find out.

Don't you got a Rolls-Royce?

- Bentley? Phantom?
- Ford.

- You throw some D's on that bitch?
- On a Ford?

I love Momma T. I do.

You are talking about
one of the sweetest, kindest...

...most gentle women ever.
But she'll steal.

At my age...

...the only thing
I'm looking to steal is time.

All the money in the world
can't buy that.

I love Sister Doris like--

Like she was my own sister.

But raising other people's children
is not cheap.

Kids is a necessary expense of life.

Every penny I get,
I put on that boy's costumes.

Last Christmas,
he was the Virgin Mary.

Thanksgiving, he was a drumstick.
Easter, he had to play a egg.

Anytime you wanna pitch in and help,
you are welcome because it is not cheap.

But I don't steal from nobody.

I love the deacon as....

It's endless. Got such
a dashing figure. Very articulate.

He's got to be getting some money.

Listen, I was brought here
to help fill the safe, not empty it.

Little pink shirts. I know they cost.

I think there's a lot of jealousy...

...about me and about
what I've done for the church.

Tianna. We talk like girlfriends.

Always, always, "How are you?"
"I'm good, how are you?" "I'm great."

She doesn't tell a lie,
but you can tell she's thinking it.

Okay, but why would I steal
from my own father?

- Get your nails done.
- I do my own nails.

- Get your car fixed.
- I ride the train.

- Get your hair did.
- I don't have any hair!

To keep this church
from moving to the suburbs.


Shut it up!

Please don't make me use this!

- Yo, Durell?
- Please help us!

- You're hurting my arm!
- Everybody...

Be quiet!

- Get up! Get in the basement.
- Oh, Jesus!

Hurry up, Pink. Get up in there.
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

LeeJohn, handle it.

Hey, Kirk Franklin, hold up.

I need to go with them
because I need to...

- Boy, come on. You going with me.
- Where we going?

You gonna be the lady of the house.

Hello, upstanding gentlemen
of the law.

This church owns the building
across the street, right?


Are you aware there's some illegal
activity taking place over there?

Yes, my Lord!

I'm just the choir director...

...but I will tell the pastor,
who is the shepherd of our flock.

We are sheep
and he shepherds us.

Don't be here too late.

We saw some unsavory characters
lurking around there.

When you say unsavory,
you mean like jaywalkers...

...or you mean like actual
robbers and thieves and killers?

Which one? Like, how unsavory?

Murder unsavory, or just regular,
run-of-the-mill unsavoriness?

Okay, well, you have a good evening,
all right? Just be careful.

Okay, then. All right.

Y'all can make this a base camp
at any....

- They was still talking to me.
- Thought that was cute, huh? Let's go.

Did it look like he was winking at us?

He's the choir director.

All right, look.

Don't y'all wanna go home?
I ain't got time for this.

Now, y'all need to tell me
what I need to know.

Don't y'all wanna go...

Don't y'all wanna go home?
Because I do.

So somebody need to tell me
what I need to know.

Look, if we have to comb this church
inch by inch....

What now?

It's all this humidity,
mixed with emotions and excitement.

Mixed with the fact that we're being
held hostage by gangbangers... a church with no air.

Tianna, get me a wet towel
for this child.

Wait a minute, where you going?

I'm getting her a wet towel.

She needs some air!

She needs to lose a few pounds...

...if she's gonna be landing on
people like that without warning.

- Rickey.
- I'm just saying...

...that would help
if people gotta catch her.

- Thank you.
- Put it on the back of her neck, baby.

All the money you making on
Sundays, why you can't get the air on?

The air conditioning works,
it just don't work all the time, that's all.

- Why doesn't somebody just fix it?
- Fix what?

The air. Durell could fix anything.

Durell, remember that time your
Aunt Cynthia's freezer broke...

...after she went food shopping?

You came right over
there and fixed it.

I don't remember.
Matter of fact, it ain't even hot to me, so...

So we straight.

- What church are you in?
- Rickey, sit down.

What? No, get your hands off of me.

- Sit down, man.
- It is hot as Satan's toenails in here.

Rickey? Are you all right?

Yes, I'm all right.
Are you all right, Miss I-Just-Fainted?

I'm just a little frustrated.

I'm not scared no more.
I'm not just gonna keep being scared!

Okay? So shoot me. Shoot me.
Here I am, shoot me.

- Go ahead, shoot him.
- Shoot him. Go ahead.

You'll probably really shoot me.

Rickey, sit your butt down.

Would you make sure that I look
good in my casket when I... Lord!

- Shut up!
- I'll scratch his eyes.

Just fix the A.C., Durell.

- Y'all get off of me! Get off of me!
- Don't trip out on me right now.

Do anybody know
where this air-conditioning unit is?

Hold up. Let me get that light.

Come on, give it up.

You're supposed to be fixing the air
conditioner, not taking a tour to the church.

I know.

Let's go.

First, we got to look for this money
in one more place.

As hard as it is to keep crime out of
the streets, now it's in the church.

Why would y'all steal money
from church anyways?

Because to them, it's not a church.

It's a building on the corner
next to a liquor store.

Where the neon wine-and-beer sign
is brighter than the cross.

You know, if we separate the two
like I've been wanting...

...maybe ours would shine brighter.

Brighter because we're brighter,

Or brighter
because we're separate?

I want the key to that cabinet
right there...

...and I know you got it, so don't lie.

Were y'all trying
to blow open the safe?

It wasn't my idea.

You find it?

Do it look like I found it? Let's go.

What kind of name is LeeJohn,

When I was born, my mother had
two boyfriends. Lee and John.

She ain't know who my real father
was, so she named me LeeJohn.

Of course.

I don't think I would've told that.


You know...

...if that doesn't work,
there's always Sho-Blo.

Yeah, well, maybe it'll work
if I can get...

...if I can get the light
pointed straight.

Oh, yeah, the problem is the light.
It's my fault.

I'm hungry.

I'm hungry too.

When are you not hungry?

Well, I have some leftover chicken,
ham, potato salad, greens...

...and some peach cobbler
from this afternoon's dinner.

I could fix something up
if y'all would like to eat.

What about a 8-year old boy who was
hungry and didn't know how to swim...

...and was scared to get baptized because
he thought he was gonna drown?

- How come he couldn't eat, huh?
- What?

Is that a yes or a no on the chicken?

How do you know how to fix
air conditioners, anyway?

When you grow up in a house
and everything around you is broke...

...that's what you do.

You fix things. Watch this.

Oh, my gosh.

Hit that light.

Don't wanna electrocute myself.

Wow, you know, this thing has never
worked right. You're pretty good.

I mean, you're obviously not good,
but what you just did was good.

- You always so stank?
- Only when I'm hungry.

Oh yeah, and occassionally when I'm being held
hostage at gunpoint, I get a little a cranky.

Maybe I got a good reason.
You ever think of that?

You mean like Robin Hood?
Or, in your case, robbing the hood?

Take from the poor
and give to the poor?

Trying to give something
I never had.

- A felony record?
- No, a father.

Do you have a tissue I can borrow?

I seem to have left mine
in the offering bucket...

...along with anything that would
"beep, buzz or get on your nerves".

My mother died when I was 6 years old.
You don't see me robbing a church.

Yeah, sometimes you gotta do what
you gotta do, to get where you going.

Would that be jail?

Parenting from within the penal
system, that would be brilliant.

That's not smart.

- You wouldn't even understand.
- And I don't want to.

What you care for anyway,
church girl?

- I don't.
- Good. Neither do I.

- Good.
- Good.


G, double O, D.

- Good.
- Perfect.

Wait a minute.

- Thank you.
- Oh, Sister Doris' chicken.

That's good.

I brought you some food.
I know you hungry too.

I don't have to get baptized, right?
Because I can't swim.


- There you are.
- Thank you.

It's good, ain't it?

Something about you
remind me of my husband.

I think it's your nose.
He had a wide one just like you.

Oh, he was a beautiful man
inside and out.

One of the best deacons this church
ever had. No matter what they say.

He loved my cooking too.

You know, today was his birthday,
and nobody remembered but me.

He's been gone, what, six years?

He loved the birthday parties
I planned for him.

You like birthday parties, Leonard?
I mean, LeeJohn?

- I don't know, I never had one.
- You never had a birthday party?

When they took me to my foster home,
they lost my birth certificate... nobody never knew
when my birthday was.

I know when it is.

You do? When?


Give me your hand.

Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday. Happy birthday.
Happy birthday, LeeJohn, to you!

Happy birthday.

Come on, now.

It's all right.

It's all right.

Yes, it is.

It's all right.


The hell you doing?

You hungry?

It's blowing harder
than it's ever blown before.

It's a miracle.

It's air. The same air as before,
just a little cooler.

A young man
as good with his hands as you are...

...should have more options
than robbing the church.

- I'm all out of options now.
- That's not true, son.

Don't say that,
that's not true.

You're only out of options
when you stop looking for them.

- Durell?
- Go back over there.

- I need to talk to you.
- I don't wanna talk to you right now.

Can I talk to you for one minute?

I don't wanna do this anymore.
These people ain't did nothing to us.

You came and got me from
my grandmama house with this...

...and you don't wanna go through
with it? Trying to punk out? What's up?!

I ain't no punk, man.

You ain't forgot, you need this
money just as bad as me?

I'll think of something,
and I don't know what it is.

But I know... ain't gonna be this.

Durell, not this.

Our jobs would be a whole lot easier if people
would just listen and go home.

Pastor knows they
supposed to be out by 10.

I don't know what y'all did here,
but I don't like it.

Now stop playin' with me and just
give me the money and we can leave.

For some reason,
y'all think I won't use these.

It's simple! Just give up the money!

I thought you were supposed
to be cleaning the church.

I told you, he's blind.

- Can't see, and he's deaf.
- He can't hear you.

I've been cleaning this church
for 30 years. Seen a lot of things...

...found a lot of things too.

Why y'all got this man
cleaning this church?

- Because he's free.
- But never nothing like this.


All right, get back! Sit back!
Sit down.

- Look at all that money.
- Yeah.

It's probably just the cleaning man,
you know?

Or not.

We got a 10-31 in progress at the
corner of Preston and Greenmount.

A perp with a gun.
Request for immediate backup.

That's our money.

Son, that's God's money.

LeeJohn, let's roll.


I think I'm gonna stay here
with them, Durell.

It's your son, isn't it?

Tell him what you're doing.

You want him to hear it on the news?
Or read about it in tomorrow's paper?

I get up every morning, and I take
my son to school every morning.

He look at me, he don't see no thug.

He see a man, all right?
I'm somebody to him.

So you did this for your son?

- Momma T.
- Momma T.

You're doing this for yourself.

Blaming everybody
but the one person responsible.

You're a coward.

Using foul language
and shooting guns off in the church... ought to be ashamed
of yourself.

You deserve to lose your son.

I'm not gonna lose my son!

If this is what he sees in the morning
when he looks at you...'ve already lost him.

A perfect example of potential
with no purpose.

I know what my plan B is.
It's to be just like you.

We can't lose any more sons.

I'm not losing my son.

Come on, LeeJohn, let's go.

- lndividuals and suspects in the--
- Close the door.

We want you
to release the hostages.

Come out with your hands
in the air.

Durell, man!

We're going to jail!

We're not going to jail!
Let me just think.

What are you talking about?
They got this whole place surrounded.

- We going to jail!
- Just calm down!

Pastor, isn't there something
we can do?

Oh yeah... we can help the police put
these criminals behind bars where they belong.

Deacon, I was talking to the pastor.
I ain't asked you a thing...

You heard Momma T.

They in here, waving
and shooting guns, and we're not...

I haven't called your name all day!
Don't talk to me, okay?


I have an idea.

Durell, come on, cut me out this chair,
I'll show you.

Show me what?

Son, I'm gonna show you
a better option.

Come on, son.

Pastor, they need to go to jail.

They got two guns in here...

...they're obviously gangbangers
and thugs and hoodlums.

This doesn't make any sense.
It doesn't...

Pastor? Pastor?

- What are you gonna do?
- You're doing the right thing.

What are you gonna do? You're
putting your ministry in jeopardy.

Suspects inside the church!
Come out with your hands in the air!

I am gonna go outside...

...and tell those policemen this
was all just a big misunderstanding.

You're gonna go out there and lie?

Deacon, I'm gonna go out there
and help.

I'm gonna go out there,
and I'm gonna tell them the truth.

That, that, that we were being held
hostage by terrorists.

Or have we all forgotten that?

What about forgiveness, Deacon?

Or have you forgotten that?

Pastor, these....

I wasn't held hostage.

- Neither was I.
- Me neither.

What's a hostage?

A hostage is what we were downstairs in that
basement for four and a half hours.

I'm gonna need therapy.
I need Dr. Ph...

Okay, maybe not.

Well, I was held hostage.

And when the policemen get in here,
I'm gonna tell them exactly that!

Do whatever you want.

LeeJohn, Durell, y'all come on
with me. Come on.

You can't be serious.

You're a man of God,
and they're taking advantage of that!

If we turn them in,
we can get a reward!

We can do something.
We can do something to help.

If you're going, I'm coming too.

Hey, hey, hey.

Where y'all going?
Sit down, sit down.

Everybody's doing they part.
Sit down.

Our part is singing.

That's our part, what we do here
in the church as a choir, "sang".

We make things better, "sanging".

Suspects, your time is up,
we are entering the building!

- Police!
- Okay.

Don't shoot! We're up here!

There's a laundry chute
behind these.

It's never been used,
first time for everything.

Okay. Where does it go?

To the basement. And there's a door
downstairs that'll get you out, I hope.

- The rest is up to you.
- We gotta try.

Pastor, what are you doing?
I'm getting the police.

Police! We're up here!

Let's go, guys, follow me.

Hey, you better give me
those pistols.

Thanks, man.

You're doing the right thing.
Don't worry about your son.

Everything's gonna be okay.
Just have faith.

Guess I'm supposed to go first,

I know you smarter than that.

D, umm... try not to break your neck.

I didn't think you cared.

I'll try.

God bless you, son.

Bye, LeeJohn!

Goodbye, Timmy!

Okay, let's go. Go, go, go.

Durell, don't leave me!

Come on, Rell, don't leave me!
Wait up!

Come on! Let's go! Let's go!

- Spiderwebs! Spiderwebs!
- Go, go, go!

Come on!

Wait a minute.

Yo, hey, that's our chair!
You ain't even crippled!


This way! Move!

Yo, hold up.

All right.

This way, this way.

Come on, come on, boy!

Wait up! Wait up, Rell!

- Rell!
- Hurry up.

- Hurry up.
- Freeze!

Back there, right there! Look!


You robbed a church?

Your Honor, Mr. Judge,
it wasn't even like that.

We wasn't trying to rob no church.
We was gonna rebuild.

We was gonna refurbish it
and everything. We was gonna...

Allegedly robbed a church,
Your Honor.

Your Honor, I haven't been to church
in a while... I apologize.

...but the last I checked, the Holy Ghost
doesn't hold people hostage...

...and I'm pretty sure
the pastor isn't packing.

- If it pleases the court--
- I object to trying to please the court.

Lewis, when are you going
to get a life...?

You commit a crime,
you have to do the time.

Can I speak?
Your Honor, can I speak?

Can I speak for myself?

- No objection to that, Your Honor.
- Why not?

- I don't wanna go back to ja...
- Let me just say this.

- We're in bad enough shape as it is.
- Okay, thank you. Just sit down.

Judge Galloway, how many times
have you seen me in this courtroom?

And how many times have you said
the exact same thing you saying today?

And here I am again.

Man, my whole life
I done made bad decisions.

Like the one you're making now?

And my whole life,
I done blamed everybody...

...but the person that's
responsible for those decisions.

That's me.

So it was my idea to go up
in that church. I want to apologize...

Wait, that was my idea. We was
sitting in Cookie's that night and I...

Sit your ass down!

Now, Your Honor,
can we please get back to the facts?

Now, I have a witness that'll testify that
the defendants not only had firearms...

...but they used them to
hold members of the church hostage.

And they almost stole $64,000.

Well, on first Sunday, you wrote down
that we took in $34,000.

- Young lady, you'll have to sit down.
- But, Your Honor, I actually have proof.

Bailiff, escort the young woman
to the witness stand.

Go on up there baby, talk to him.

Wait, what is that? What is that?

Thieves in the temple.

She's falsifying pieces of paper.
I don't know what that is, Pastor.

In the report on first Sunday...

...the deacon wrote down
that we only took in $34,000.

- Pastor....
- He just said...

...that they almost stole $64,000.

- I did?
- Oh, now there's a discrepancy.

- Why is she doing this to me?
- You see right here?

Why are you doing this?
I'm not the one on trial.

- Is there anything else?
- No. No, there isn't.

- Deacon...
- What's going on, Deacon?

...exactly how much money
was raised on the first Sunday?

Well, I object, Your Honor.

- No, I object.
- Well, everybody objects.

Answer the damn question.

Look, the deacon is not on trial here.
However, these two miscreants are.

We are African-American.

They held members
of the church hostage!

These are criminals of the first order.

The counsel will sit down.

And the deacon
will answer the question.

- The court is waiting.
- Yeah, answer the question.

Well, Your Honor....

If I may, Your Honor...

...Iike you, I handle lots of paperwork
each and every day.

And if an error was made... my haste, I must've mistakenly
entered a three instead of a six.

I have never known the deacon
to make a mistake.

People make mistakes all the time.

You mistakenly got caught.
That's what happened.

- Are you stealing the church's money?
- Of course not.

I'm not angry.
If you did it, just say you did it.

I came here to improve the church.

I didn't steal the money.
Hey, I did not steal the money.

I wasn't stealing money.

Look, Pastor...

...I'm investing it.

He's an investor now.
Is he a stockbroker or a deacon?

Order, order! Order in the court!

Invested it where?

In an escrow account for a piece of
land I wanted the church to purchase.

Who? She don't go to this church.

We aren't affecting the community,
the community is affecting us!

I'm not infected.
I have papers to prove I'm not infected.

It's them! These two right here!
They're the problem!

Order, I said! Order in this court!
I've had enough.

- Your Honor, let me finish what I'm saying.
- Sit down!

- Sit down!
- Tough decisions have to be made!

- Sit down.
- Sit down.

- Sit down.
- You're lying again.


You have a witness that's willing to testify
that the defendants...

...held members of the church hostage
with firearms...

...while attempting to steal money
from first Sunday's offering?

Look, Your Honor...

Actually, Your Honor...

...we have a lot of witnesses here...

...that are willing to testify to
a lot of things, like embezzlement.

- Embezzlement?
- Misappropriation of funds?

Falsifying documents!

Not to mention wearing a Easter suit
with a Halloween shirt-and-tie set.

Now, that is not true!

I will not have this man denigrating
my wardrobe in open court!

Your Honor, can I just...?

Let me just get a second here,
and I appreciate it, Your Honor.

We need to have a quick word.

Listen, I just need you to go up there
and tell him what is going on!

Can you please have a seat?

You have a degree, don't you?
Use it!

- Counselor?
- Yes?

Do you have a witness or not?

Your Honor, if I may?

It was a very long day,
and we had three services...

...normally, it's two, and it was...


- ...and hot and dark.
- And no.

No, Your Honor,
we have no more witnesses.

Your Honor, if it pleases the court...

...I would like to motion that the case
against Durell Douglas Washington...

...and LeeJohn
James Jacob Jackson... dismissed due to
lack of evidence and witnesses.

Yes, and because they didn't do it.

Motion granted, case dismissed!

This is a travesty!

Praise the Lord.

Pastor! Pastor!

Oh, yeah!

I'm just trying to get over...

Ten chairs, $1200 apiece.

Check it out. You stole them wheelchairs
from somebody...

...and then somebody stole them
from us.

So the way I look at that,
I think we even.

My baby mama might have
took my son away from me today.

And if y'all gonna kill us
over some chairs, then go ahead.

But kill him first
because it was his dumb-ass idea.

We still have business.

Go get your son, man.

- Tick-tock, gun-shot.
- Leave me.



Where did you get it, huh? Where?

What is this?
I don't know what this is.

Rell and I were leaving for the train
station when I hear a knock at the door.

I open it, nobody's there,
just this bag...

...filled with $17,342 exactly!

You stole it, didn't you?
Did you steal this?

I know where it came from,
but I did not steal it!

If I told you,
you wouldn't even believe me.

I wouldn't even believe me.

Look. Now, somebody gave me
this money.

But since we got it,
I need to know something.

You staying or you going?

- That's not fair.
- You got enough money.

You got what you need.
What you gonna do?

You gonna take my son
away from me, huh?

And move to Atlanta?

Don't take my son from me. Okay?
That's all I got.

All right, you wanna break me now?
He's all I got. I ain't got nothing else.

I'll do whatever I can.
I'll come around more.

Whatever you need from me,
I can do that.

- I'm a different man now.
- What's different?

I'm different. I'm changed.

You gonna stay?

What you gonna do?


We're gonna stay.

Thank you.

I told you. Didn't I tell you?
Didn't I tell you?

- Yes.
- Ain't nobody gonna take you from me.


I love you.

Thank you.

It was no mistake how those two boys
landed in our church.

They weren't all bad,
just 180 degrees from good.

They just needed a change
in direction...

...and that's what we all need

I figure...

...if God can give these two boys
a second chance...

... then why can't we?

Why can't we?

Special thanks to SergeiK.