Living In Oblivion Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Living In Oblivion script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Steve Buscemi movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Living In Oblivion. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Living In Oblivion Script




Camera truck's comin' in.

We're about two blocks away.



Where do we park?



Excuse me, where do we park?



Anybody know where

the camera truck can park?






What time is it?

 :  . Why?



This milk's bad.



When did you buy it?




I don't know. What's today?







There's a deli

on broadway.



Anything closer?

Nothing that's open.



Where are we supposed to park?

Is it that bad?



I don't know. You're the one

who said it was bad.



excuse me,

where are we supposed to park?



Does anyone know

where the camera truck parks?



Listen, camera truck, I want...



camera truck?



Camera truck?

Did you hear that?



This is the worse fuckin' cup of coffee

I've had in my life.



Then don't drink it.

What are we doing today?



"Interior. Living room.

Ellen talks to mom. "



Any nudity?

Yeah, you have to take your fuckin' pants off.



I'll do it. I like ellen.

Yeah, she's a babe.



She was the nurse in that

richard gere movie.



I worked on that film.

The shower scene.



Start with the  k

through the window...



and run stingers for three

blondes into the living room.



So, two people.

Sitting? Standing? What?



Who fuckin' knows?



"Ellen talks to mom. "






Uh, no.

I've been up since  :  .



I got a big scene today.

I'm kind of nervous about it.



"Ellen talks to mom"?

Oh, have you read the script?



Uh, no,

it's on the call sheet.






Yeah, well,

it's pretty emotional.



I tell my mother that I never

felt she really, um, loved me.



You're gonna yell

at each other?

Oh, I don't know.



I'm just gonna go with how I feel,

which is the scary part.



I'm pretty close to this character.



Problems with your own mom?






But she, uh, died before i...



well, before we could reconcile.



You were really great

in that richard gere movie.






Ellen, I have no memory

of this whatsoever.






ellen, I have no memory

of this whatsoever.



Ellen, I have no memory

of this whatsoever.



Hi, mom.



Good morning.



Did you sleep well?



Not a wink.



Okay, look,

I'm not blaming anybody, wanda.



All I'm saying is that we left last night

and I knew we didn't get that scene.



I'm sorry, I thought

it was a great scene, Nick.



It was okay and I can use it.

It's gonna be all right.



But today I'm not gonna

settle for okay.



This is a big scene,

and I'm not leaving 'til we get it.



Whatever it takes, Nick.

We're here for you.



All right, wolf, here's what I want to do.

I want to get the whole scene in one shot.



It's been done.

I know, but let's try it anyway.




No, dolly.



We go from close-up, pull back to a wide shot,

back to a close-up.



I'll use the   .

It'll minimize the distortion.



We can light the whole thing from the ceiling.

It actually could be great.



It sounds incredible.

How long, wolf?



I gotta see a couple




Not too many, all right?

It's a big scene for the actors.



I don't want to wear them out

before we get started.



We've got all day, Nick.

Whatever it takes.



How long, wolf?

Forty-five? An hour?



I don't know how you drink

that shit black, Nick.



I gotta dump in the milk.

It's the only way I can cut the taste.




Flame on, asshole!



All right, kill that one.



Okay, picture's up.






Now hold the work

over there.



We're going for picture.

Lock it up.



Cora, you're doing fine.



I just want you to really listen

to her and really answer her.







I've got nothing to say to you.



It's all there.

Just let it happen.



Ready, Nick.



One second.



Nick, you gotta take a look at this.



I pushed in a foot. She's incredible.

She's coming right through the lens.



That's beautiful, man.

That's great. Ready, Nick?



Call it, wanda.

All right, roll sound.



- Speed.

- Roll camera.



- Rolling.

- Scene six, take one.



Everybody settle.

And... action.



Dad hit me first and knocked me down.



It didn't hurt that much,

but I started crying anyway,



hoping he would

leave me alone.



Then he went over

and started hitting danny.



Ellen, I have no memory

of this whatsoever.



You were just standing there

looking at me, mom.



Then you... then you pulled me up

and said, "you're not hurt. "



Like I was disgusting

for faking,



for doing the only thing I could think of

to keep him from hitting me again.



I was worried about danny.



You remember.

He was smaller than you.



You were so worried about danny,

mom. What about... cut.



- That's a cut!

- Sorry, I had to cut. Les,

your boom's all over my frame.



Yo, I asked for a frame line.



Okay, can we get a frame line, please?



Les, do you have a frame line?

I think so.



Now lock it up. We're going for picture.

That was beautiful, both of you.



Just like that, stay focused.

Keep with it. No big deal.

All right, call it, wanda.



All right, and roll sound.




Roll camera.

Rolling. Scene six, take two.



Everybody settle.



And action.



Dad hit me first

and knocked me down.



It didn't hurt that much,




I started crying anyway,

hoping he would just leave me alone.



Then he went over and started hitting danny.



Ellen, I have no memory

of this whatsoever.



Cut. I'm sorry.

I was completely off on the focus.



It's my fault.

I'm sorry.



Thank you for the apology,

but you'll never work in this town again.



All right, I've got it now.

All right.



And roll sound.




Roll camera.

Rolling. Scene six, take three.






Dad hit me first

and knocked me down.



It didn't hurt that much,

but I started crying anyway,



hoping he would

just leave me alone.



Then he went over and started hitting danny.




Ellen, I have no memory...




- ܢܢܢ

- Street noise.



What the fuck

is going on down there?



You call that a lockup?

Get that car out of here!




Jesus christ! Why doesn't the guy just get

a flatbed trailer...



with about     speakers on it

and tow it behind his car?









And... clear.



Okay, do I have a lockup?




Is that a real lockup?




Okay, here we go right away.



First positions, please.




All right, and roll sound.




Roll camera.

Rolling. Scene six, take four.



Set? Yeah.



Are we set?

All right.



Call it again, wanda.

All right, and roll sound.




Roll camera. Roll...



second sticks.

Oh, shit.



Scene six...

everybody just settle!



Bert, get the hell

outta there!






Dad hit me first

and knocked me down.



It didn't hurt that much,




I started crying anyway,

just hoping he would leave me alone.



Then he went over

and started hitting danny.



Ellen, I have no memory

of this whatsoever.



You were just standing there

looking at me, mom.



Then you came over and...

Boom's in.



That's a cut.

Jesus christ!



where at?

The whole left side of the frame, les.



All right, all right.

Can we get a motherfucking frame line, please?



Yo, the frame line keep changing.



That's the idea, les.

May I make a suggestion?



Would it be possible

to maybe break the shot down?



Maybe we could make it two shots instead?

It might be easier for les.



No. Then I'm gonna need ten minutes

to switch to radio mics.



It's your call, Nick.

Will there be any more sound problems?



No more boom problems.



Switch to radios.



All right, that's a ten minute break.

Everybody please stand by.



Get me a coffee.



Half milk.




Oh, Nicole, I'm really sorry about all this.



Oh, no, no, no. It's not your fault,

Nick. No.



Um, listen,

I was wondering,



Is there any way to use some of those

earlier takes?



Not unless I change the shot

and do a cutaway of cora...



and then find a way

to intercut the takes.



But I don't want to do that.

This is a really nice shot. No?



What you're doing is incredible.




Really incredible.




All right?




Once we get the radio mics on,

it's gonna go smoother.



So you just... whatever. Take a moment.

Let all this shit go. Yeah.



Do whatever you, you know...

all right.



We're not gonna roll until you're ready, okay?

Yeah, thanks.







How was she in that

richard gere movie?



Eh... so-so.

Her career really took off, didn't it?



I saw her in a michael bolton video.

Oh, yeah?



Yeah, too bad.

She is... nice.



Yeah. I could have done

a better job though.



No, you still boom, les,

but keep it wide! Wide!



Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Where's that scrim going?



It's a flag.



Wolf? No, no, no. No more tweaking. No.

Two seconds, wanda.



Lock it up. Picture's up.

Closer to the light, bob.



Can we get Nick in here?

Nick? Nick? Nick! Bring it up against the bulb.



Call it, wanda.

All right. And roll sound.



- Speed.

- Roll camera.



- Rolling.

- Scene six, take five.



Shake it off.






Dad hit me first

and knocked me down.



It didn't hurt that much,




I started crying anyway,

hoping he would leave me alone.



Then he went over and started hitting danny.

Ellen, I have no memory...



Damn it!



The light! The light!

You blew the bulb!



Jesus fucking christ!

Kill it! Kill it! Pull the plug!



By your foot!

That's a cut! All right!



Is everybody hurt? Is anybody okay?

Okay, cora, are you all right?



Props. Props! Props, can we get

a broom in here, please?



All right,

clear the set... please.



Are you rolling? Props!



Props, get a broom in here right away!

Clear the set!







What's gonna happen next?



I'm gonna have

a heart attack!



No, no, no, you're not.

If you do, save it for the end of the scene, okay?



No, I'm kidding.



We're gonna go in there in two minutes,

and we are gonna nail this scene.



Then we're gonna be outta here. I swear.

Okay? Nicole...






One second.




Uh, okay.



I'll tell you one thing right now.



I am never, ever going to do another

fuckin' low-budget movie!



What's up?



Wolf and I were talking.




losing it a little bit.



We have got three-quarters

of the scene really, really incredible.



All you need to do

is a quick cutaway,



and then we pick up

the last part of the scene.






Well, you know

how I feel.



I- I love the shot.

Hell, I designed it.



Okay, then can we just stick

with the game plan, please?



It's a simple shot.

I swear to god, we're gonna get it.



All right? I can feel it.




Yeah, whatever it takes.

We're here for you.






Okay, and roll sound.




- Roll camera.

- Rolling!



Scene six, take six.



Let's stay focused.

And... action.



Dad hit me first

and knocked me down.



It didn't hurt that much,




I started crying anyway,

hoping he would leave me alone.



Then he started hitting danny.

Ellen, I... I...






Okay. That's okay.

Uh, cora, just give me the line.



No acting, just, just...

what's your line?






I have no memory

of this line whatsoever.



All right, all right.



Can we get the line please?

Script. Script. Script.



"Ellen, I have no memory

of this whatsoever. " Okay?



Thank you. All right,

picture up, people.



Back to one, camera.

Come on, guys, let's not lose the energy.



Right away!

Let's go. Whoa, whoa.



And keep the lockup.

Nicole, you all right?



Let's get what we had before.

Are we ready? All right.



And roll sound.




Roll camera.




Scene six, take seven.






Dad hit me first

and, uh, knocked me down.



It didn't hurt that much,




I started crying anyway,

hoping he would leave me alone.



Then he started hitting danny.



I was worried

about danny!



I'm sorry, I...

I'm lost.




That's a cut.



All right,

uh, everyone just relax.



We're gonna run the lines,

okay? No acting.



We'll do a run-through

for the lines. That's it.



Then we're gonna shoot

the fucking scene.



I'm sorry I'm fucking

this up for you.



Cora, please,

don't even say that.



I'm the one who's

totally fucking this up.



I swear to god,

if I get through this,



I am never acting again.



Action on the run-through.



Dad hit me...

hit me first...



and knocked me down.



It didn't hurt

that much, but...



I started crying anyway,

hoping he would just leave me alone.



Roll camera.



Then he went over

and started hitting danny.



Shouldn't we wait

for wolf?



Ellen, I have no memory

of this whatsoever.



Ma, you were just

standing there looking at me.



Then you pulled me up

and said,



"you're not hurt. "



Like I was disgusting

for faking,



for doing the only thing I could think of to keep him

from hitting me again.



I was worried about danny.



You do remember.



Well, he was

smaller than you.



You were so worried

about danny, ma.



What about me,

you know?



Why weren't you

worried about me?



Where the fuck is wolf?



One second.



Okay, listen up.



Nobody drink the milk.

It appears to be bad.



Okay, I've had to...

I'm changing the shot.



I'm a little pressed for time,

so we start with a close-up of ellen...



for the last part of the scene,

starting with your line,

"I was worried about danny. "



Mm-hmm. Then i'll find a way to cut

that into the fourth take.



We almost had that.



Almost. That was beautiful.

Both of you.



That was just, uh...



can't think about that, right?

That moment's gone and, uh,

we'll get another one, right?



Right? Okay.

Here we go.



I'm ready, Nick.



Call it, wanda.

And roll sound. Speed.



Roll camera. Rolling!

Scene six apple, pickup, take one.






I was worried

about danny.



You do remember.



He's smaller

than you.



You were s...



you were so worried about danny.

What about me?



Why weren't you worried

about me? Jesus christ!



Cut! What the fuck is that, sound?



- It's not me!

- It's the camera.



Fuck it is! It's off!

It wasn't even running, dick les!



What is going on down there?

Do I have a lockup?



You don't hear a beeping sound?

The street's quiet.



What the fuck is it?



It's somebody's watch.



- It's not mine.

- It's not mine.

- It's not mine.



Okay, where is it?



Cock-sucking, motherfucking

bastard! Where are you?



Take a walk, les. Go get coffee

and don't come back, all right?



I said no food on set!



Where are you?



Could somebody help me, please?



Huh? Do I have to do everything myself here?



Huh, cora? Why don't you go learn

your lines, cora!



Hey, script, how about paying

attention a little bit, okay?



Hey, focus puller,

I got some good thaI stick.



You wanna go fuckin' smoke one

or you wanna pay attention?



What are you laughing at, wolf?

You fuckin' pretentious, beret-wearin' motherfucker!



Hey, I saw your reel, man.

It sucked!



Who the fuck would hire you?

Hey, bob! Hey, bob!



Can you make a little noise

on the fucking dolly? Huh?



You creaky motherfucker!



Wanda, next time can you wear

a shirt that's a little more

distracting to my actors?



What is your name anyway? What

do you fucking do around here?



Hey, speedo! You can't find

a little fucking beep?



Huh? You see what I have to fucking

deal with here, Nicole?



Maybe do some of that magic on camera!



No, no, wait 'til fuckin' wolf

is pukin' his guts out! "Oh, now, i'll be good. "



Oh, god.



So when did he ask you?



Yesterday when I was helping him

check into his hotel.



What? The guy can't even check into his hotel room

by himself?



Listen, wolf...



having chad palomino in this movie

will be a benefit to us all.



If being there when he checks into his hotel

makes him feel better,



then I'm more than happy to do it.



Well, how did it come up?



He asked me if I liked jazz,

I said yes,



and he suggested we meet at a jazz

club tonight.



I like jazz.

He did not invite you.



Why are you wearing

perfume to work?



Because I feel like it.

You didn't wear it yesterday.



Oh, god, stop acting

like such a child.



Ow! My eye!




Oh, god, sweetheart, are you all right?



Do I look all right?

Oh, well, let me see.



I don't see anything.



Well, it hurts.




we're gonna be late.



Should we call up

to the room again?



He said he'd be

right down.




Oh, I'm exhausted.



I dreamt I was on set

all night.



I was just trying to get one shot,

and everything kept going wrong.



That's an anxiety dream.

Are you anxious about something?



I don't know.



Sometimes I wonder what the hell

I'm doing in this business.



It's all just one compromise

and disappointment after another.



I don't know if I have

the personality for it.



Sounds kind of like

an identity crisis.



Yeah, maybe you're right.



Who am i?

What am I capable of?



Maybe I should find a job teaching spanish

at a women's college somewhere.



How'd you get

into cinematography?



I'm not the cinematographer.



You're not?



No, I'm directing this movie.



How'd you get into directing?



Your car is still waiting

for you, mr. Palomino.



Five minutes.

Okay, i'll tell him.






They're downstairs. You go ahead.

I'm gonna take a taxi.






Uh, listen...



I had a lot of fun last night,

really, but I gotta tell you,



where I'm at right now

in my life, a relationship...



chad, hold on a second.



Uh, this was just

a one-time deal.



You know it, I know it.

You can cut the melodrama.



I just thought

you might want...



all I ask is that you don't

mention it to anyone.



That's not my style.

Good. That's good.



So, i'll see you

on the set.






Goddamn it.



Hey, so what do you got

coming up after this?



Nick, I got two movies

right after yours.



One, I play a rapist that michelle pfeiffer

falls in love with.



The other one,

I play kind of a sexy...



serial killer that shacks up

with winona ryder.



That's great, man.



Yeah, I'm not into that hostess twinkie shit.

"Hostess twinkie"?



Hollywood shit, man.

You know, it's all fluff.



These are the kind of films

I wanna be doin'.



Hey, thanks, man.




I gotta say, I'm really

glad you feel that way,



and I'm excited to be

working with you.



Yeah, me too.

You're a great director, man.



Your films

are totally whacked!



You know, I'm gonna be watching you, buddy,

like a hawk.



I wanna learn

from you, Nick.



I'm gonna pick your brain.



Good. Then you could

pick my nose.



See what I mean?

You're whacked!




What are we waitin' here for?



Oh, waitin' on Nicole.

Nicole? She's tak...






Probably takin' a shower

or something.



Hey, did anybody see that richard gere movie?

How was her shower scene in it?



- It was good.

- Really great.



How boring.



I think we got nudity today.



It just says,

"ellen and damian kiss. "



Well, it could be

a kiss with nudity.



I like ellen.



She's my type.

Now, why is that?



She's, uh...

she's pretty.



She's smart.

She's kind of kooky.



Maybe i'll give her a part.



Yeah, I'm making my own movie pretty soon.



A feature.

Oh, yeah?



Brought the script.



Palomino is perfect for the lead.



I'm gonna give it to him right during lunch.



Maybe right after.

All right.



Yeah, I gotta be aggressive.



Wanna shoot it?



Come and get it.




Yeah? You ever shot anything before?






All right.



You gotta start somewhere.



Good morning!



Good morning.

Good morning.



Look at these bags

under my eyes.



I can take care of that.



Does that work?



With skin?

It's gonna be great.

You just take it easy.



Jesus, what are you doing?

Shrinking tissue. That's what this stuff is for.



Let that sit for two minutes, pumpkin.

I'll be right back.



How'd you get here?

Oh, I took a taxi.



Oh, because we've been

waiting in front of your

apartment for half an hour.



Oh, god!

I'm sorry, Nick. I'm sorry.



I just... uh, something came up

and I forgot to call.



I feel like such an asshole.



You're just saying that

because you have preparation h

on your face.



Man, I never should have

gone out last night. I hate jazz.



God, I look terrible.



No, you don't.

Don't bullshit me, Nick.



I'm not.

You look beautiful.






How did you get here,




I took a cab.



Oh, because we were wondering

how you got here.



Good, everybody's here.

We'll have a run-through

as soon as you guys are ready.



You got it, chief.



Lorde, what are you doing?

Chad's ready for his makeup.



Okay, we're back in.

We are back. We are in.



Hold it down, people.

Hold it down! Actors working.



- Great shirt, wanda.

- Why, thank you, chad.



Okay, let's finish

working out this blocking.




- Hmm?

- What happened to your eye?



A little accident.



You gonna be all right?

I think so.



Looks great, man.

Okay, Nicole is here

standing by the bed.



Chad, you're over there

by the chair. Okay.



And camera's close on ellen.

first line.



I've always admired you

from afar.



Admired? That sounds...

rather professional.



Good. Okay, "professional,"

that's the cue.



Dolly comes in.

Damian, you come over to the bed. Right?



Scene continues.

Well, then, loved.

How does that sound?



Sounds like champagne talking.



I've loved you from the moment we met.



Why didn't you tell me?



We were working together.

I didn't want anything to interfere.



God, and all this time

I thought...



then you kiss.



Don't do it now.

Okay, how's that feel?



Great. Nicole?




Wolf, any thoughts?




I have a thought.



What if damian had

an eye patch like wolf?



Hmm, let me think

about that one, chad.



All right.

You're the genius.



Nick reve, living in oblivion,

scene six, take one! Let's shoot it!



One second, chad.

Wolf, you ready to shoot one?



I've been ready. Move aside.

All right, wolfman!



Good. Okay, call it, wanda.



Camera, please.

All right, going for picture.



And lock it up!

And roll sound. Speed.



Roll camera.

Rolling. Scene six, take one.



And... action.



I've always admired you

from afar.






That sounds rather professional.



Well, then, loved.

How does that sound?



Sounds like champagne talking.



Well, I've loved you

from the moment we met.



Then why didn't you

tell me?



We were working together.

I didn't want anything to interfere.




and all this time...



I thought...






That's a cut.



Very good. Not for camera.

Chad's completely out of my frame.



Yeah, what happened, buddy?

Did you forget your cue?

No, man.



I held back. I really feel it's something

that damian would do:



Hold back until

the last moment, you know?



Oh... I see.

Uh, how's that for you, wolf?



I don't care when he moves.

Just give me the fuckin' cue.



- Lone wolf!

- What line did he move on?



"Why didn't you tell me?"

Okay, "me. " That'll be your new cue.



How's that feel for you, Nicole?

Oh, that's good.



Yeah, if that's

what chad wants.



Me, me, me.

That's the cue.



Shoot it!

One second, chad.



Come here, chad.



Okay, um...






how would you describe

this scene in one word?



It's great.

It's a great scene.



Okay. No, but I mean...

it's a love scene, right?




Right. Okay.



And these two people, they really love each other,

and we wanna see that.



Especially in the kiss.



I got it, chief.

All right. Nicole?



I understand, chief.




Call it, wanda. All right, going for picture.

Lock it up.



And roll sound.




Roll camera. Rolling.

Scene six, take two.



Ellen, just push your...



and... action.



I've always admired you

from afar.






That sounds...

rather professional.



Well, then, loved.

How does that sound?



Sounds like champagne talking.



I've loved you from the moment we met.



Then why didn't you tell me?



We were working together.

I didn't want anything to interfere.






and all this time...






And cut!



that's a cut.

Very good. Wolf?



Chad missed his cue again.

The whole dolly's unusable.



Yeah, what happened there,




I thought this time you were

gonna hold back until "me. "



The more I thought about that,

it just didn't seem right.



You know,

and I'm thinkin'...



instead of comin' all

the way around the bed,



what if I just slip in here like this,



do the whole scene lying down?



I don't know.

That seems a little...



I'm just tryin' to throw out

ideas, get the creative

juices flowing.



Nicole, how does that feel?



Well... yeah,

I could turn to look at him,



but won't you be shooting

the back of my head?



Plus chad's completely

out of the light down there.



Hey, wolf, I don't care

about my face, man.

All right?



What I care about here

is the acting.



That's all I care about!



It's your call, Nick.

His acting or his face?



For some reason,

I thought we can get both.



I thought that's what

we were trying to do here.



I'll have to set another light.



We're ahead of schedule, Nick.



I think we have a few moments

to set a light for mr. Palomino.



Good, let's do it.



Ellen, damian,

let's talk for a second.



We are going to pause

to set a little light,



and then we are going

to rush again right away.



How long, wolf?









Let's just take a moment

and make sure we know what's going on here, right?



These two people, they've loved each other

for years, right?



Each of them not knowing

the other was in love with them, right?



And tonight, in this little room,

it all comes out.



It's like...

it's like a dam bursting.



Does that make sense?




Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It makes perfect sense.



I just, you know...

I haven't found it yet. I'll get it though.



Okay. What about you, chad?

I'm there, man.



I got the dam bursting,

the river, everything. You watch.



Changing the blocking's really

gonna open things up for me.



We're ready, Nick.

Okay, good.



Let's go.

What are you talking about?



Okay, here we go.

Number one.



Okay, we're gonna go very soon.

Have we done last looks?



Mr. Palomino is being checked

ready? Don't lose the energy.



Stay in the scene.




Call it, wanda.

Lock it up. And roll sound.



- Speed.

- Roll camera.



Rolling. Scene six,

take three.



Okay, dam bursting.

And... action.



I've always admired you from afar.






That sounds...

rather... professional.



Well, then, loved.

How does that sound?



It sounds like champagne talking.



I've loved you from the moment we met.



Why didn't you tell me?



We were working together.

I didn't... I didn't want anything to interfere.



Nick, um... you know, this...



I'm turned all the way around.

I didn't... is that what you...

what's the problem?



sorry, can we cut?

Cut. That's a cut.



Damn it!



That was a good one.

I know. L...



I'm sorry, but this feels

really... awkward,



me turning all the way

around like this.



Yeah. You know, chad, I don't think the lying

on the bed is quite working.



Let's try one with

the original blocking.



What is that? Been so many changes.

Could somebody help me?



Cue for the original

blocking is "professional. "



Thank you.

Thank you very much.



Right away, back to one.

Call it, wanda.



And picture's up.

Lock it up. Roll sound.



You know, actually, Nick...

could I have a moment? Just...



is that all right?

Of course, Nicole. Are you kidding me?



Hold the roll, wanda.

Holding the roll.



What's the cue?

It's right there.



Okay, and did he print anything yet?




Mmm. Someone smells

very, very good here.






Listen, you do your job,

and i'll do mine, okay?



Ready, Nick.






Call it, wanda.

All right, going for picture.



Lock it up.

And roll sound.



Speed. Roll camera.



Rolling. Scene six,

take four.







I just had a great idea.

Hold the roll.



Hold the roll. Nobody move.

What is it, chad?

Stop me if I'm out of line.



She says, "admired from afar. "



So doesn't it make sense to see

damian up close, her "afar"?



Now watch me.



We start on a close-up of me, right?



She declares her love,

she comes to me,



and she steps into this

beautiful two-shot...



that you and the wolfmeister

have set up here.



What do you think, wolf?

I don't like it. It's ellen's scene.



it sort of makes sense.

You did it, man. It's in the writing.



I'd have to relight.

We are ahead of schedule, Nick,

if that means anything to you.



Let's do it.



Get me a tweenie over here,

with diffusion. Okay, everyone.



Please stand by.

We are pausing briefly to set one little light.



And then we are going again

right away.



Stand-in, please, for mr. Palomino.

Oh, i'll do it.



Get the fuckin' light!



He's a bit of a prima donna,

but Nick is working...



That's cool.



Okay, thursday.

That's good.



I'm going to the ballet

next week.



Your hair could use some work.

Why don't you finish me on the set?



All right, I will.

Sugar? Just a bit.



He doesn't give a shit about me.



You like jazz?

Very much.



We should go hear some tonight.

That'd be nice.



It's going well, I think.

Don't you think?



Very well.



What time do you think we'll be finished?

Early, I hope.



I'm going to a jazz club tonight.




So am i.

He's wonderful, isn't he?



So natural,

just like air.






I wonder what his sign is.

Do you know, Nicole?



No, I don't know his sign, but...



I think his moon is in uranus.



You don't have to be nasty.

Oh, I'm sorry.



Yo, wolfman, is this my new mark?



Until you fuckin' change it.



Where's my fuckin' eye patch?

Hey, lester!



Anybody seen my eye patch?



Admired? That sounds rather professional.

Hey, chad.



Hey. Hey. I'm bob.

I'm lighting the show.



Chad palomino, actor.

where's my goddamn eye patch?



Yeah, I know.

Uh... hey, what's your name?



Maurice. Maurice!

Hey, maurice chevalier!



Any relation? Probably not, huh?

Hey, chad, I'm...



smokin' crew, guys.

Thanks. Hey, thanks.



I wrote a script,

and I thought you might want to take a...



hey, bill, you see the top

of that light there?



Uh... yeah.



Bring that down about three feet.



Anybody seen my eye patch?



The dailies from last night

looked really...



You look incredible, Nicole.



Hey, do you want to...



Nicole, would you care to have a drink with me,

you know, tonight?



I just wanted to... we could talk about...




I'm sorry, Nick.

Oh, that's okay, Nicole.



I was just splashing

a little water on my face.




Uh, listen, i...

it's going pretty well, right?



Is it? I don't know.

Something feels off.



Yeah, you seem a little tense.

Do I?



Don't worry about it.



Take the attention off yourself and put it on chad.

Work off him a little more.



Okay, i'll try that.




I know he's no olivier

or anything, but...



he's got something though.

Don't you think he's got

like a natural presence?




He's very natural.



Like air.



So... Is there anything else

I could help you with?



Uh... actually, there is.



Could you maybe ask him

to brush his teeth?




Nicole? Nicole?



Please get Nicole

to wardrobe.






My eye's killing me.



Put your eye patch on.



I lost it.



Is that little light set yet?



The light was set about ten minutes ago.



Uh, get the a-team in here right away:

Nick, Nicole and mr. Palomino.



Why didn't you tell me?



Hey, you're not worried about the time,

I'm not worried about the time.



Oh, I am very worried about the time.

Oh, I know you are.



What is that supposed to mean?

What do you think?



I don't know what it means!

Yes, you do.



No, I don't!

I haven't done anything!

The hell you don't.



Wanda, please,

you have to understand...

why are you accusing me?



You don't understand me!

You don't even care!

I don't understand you?



All I do is take care of you constantly!

Hey, hey! Hey, hey!



Hey! What the fuck, wanda? Huh?



I'm trying to shoot an intimate

scene here. I don't need a lot

of tension on set, all right?




you on your new mark?




All right.



Close-up of damian,

ellen in the back...



chad, what are you doing?

Hey, that's my fuckin' eye patch!



Can I borrow it, wolf?

Nick, it just feels right.



I've got this guy now!

No, chad, it doesn't work.



You're wrong, man.

I'm gonna fight you on this one.



Hey, that's my eye patch,

and I don't want anyone else

wearing it. It's insanitary!



Fine! I'll get my own eye patch!



Nick, send someone out, get me an eye patch.

I'll pay for it myself.



Get an eye patch for mr. Palomino.



Chad, let me talk

to you for a second.



Look, I didn't want to say this

in front of wolf, but, uh,



it makes you look a little... gay.




A little bit.






Oh... you're right.



Good call. Thanks, buddy.




We're ready, Nick.

Uh, wolf, you need a rehearsal?



Let's just fucking shoot it.



El lobo!



Call it, wanda.

Lock it up.



And roll sound.




Roll camera. Rolling.

Scene six, take four.



Everybody, keep the energy up.

And... action.



I've always admired you

from afar.




Sounds rather professional.



Well, then, loved.

How does that sound?



Sounds like champagne talking.



I've loved you from the moment we met.



Why didn't you tell me?



We were working together.

I didn't want anything to interfere. God!



Cut. That's a cut.

Sorry, Nick.



Sorry. I don't know why

I did that. I'm sorry.



Nick, can I talk to you for a second?






Two seconds, wanda.

Everybody stand by.



All right, momentary delay.

Everyone stand by.



We're gonna go again right away.



Uh, excuse me, ellen.

You were a tad low on that.



Okay, i'll bring it up.



Actually, could I listen to the take before?






Here it is.

It's coming up right now.



I've loved you from the moment we met.

Why didn't you tell...



chad, just one second, okay?

Talk to me. What's going on?



I cannot act with that woman!




I know that she's a friend of yours,

but she cannot act worth a shit!



I'm giving her everything!

Did you see that whole thing

I just did with the hair?



That was great.

I came up with that on my own!

I thought it would help her!







She's giving me nothing! Just a second.



I'm outta here! Why the hell did you cast her?

She sucked in that richard gere movie!



you're right. She's not the best actress

in the world. I can see that.



But you've gotta help me out here, chad.

All right?



I'm asking you, please.

Work with me, all right?



Let me tell you something, man.



Do you know why she took

a cab this morning?



Something came up.

No, she was in my hotel room,



and she didn't want you

to know about it, okay?



Now, I'm sorry it had

to come out like this,



but I told her this morning,

I said, "thanks a lot.



"I had a lot of fun

last night.



"But let's get something

straight here, baby.



This is a one-time deal. "



She didn't want to hear that.

She wanted more.



You see what I'm saying?

It's rejection.




Hey, i'll talk to her, all right?



I'm here for you, man.

I appreciate that, man, because, you know,



you're one of the best actors

I've ever worked with.



All right? So, let's just...

we can do this, all right?



okay, here we go.

Director and actor are on set.

First positions please.



Nicole, listen...

Nick, it's my fault the scene isn't working.



I- I-I apologize.

Chad, I apologize to you too.



I just... I'm completely

unfocused here.



I think what we need to do

is to just loosen up the scene somehow.



What would you

like to do?



I was wondering... maybe could we try improvising

the scene a little bit?



More along the lines

of what chad's been doing.



Maybe that will help me find something.

That's a fantastic idea.



What do you think?

That's the only way I can work.



Let's take it apart. Let's cut it loose.




And we'll shoot it,

all right?



Hell, why not?

Roll that motherfuckin' camera, wolfie.



Kiss my ass!




All right!

Now we're making a fuckin' movie!



Call it, wanda.

Okay, lock it up.



Going for picture.

And roll sound. Look alive.




Roll camera. Rolling!



Scene six, take five.






I've always admired you

from afar.



Have you?







That's incredible.






Sounds kind of professional though, doesn't it?




You're right.

How does, um... despised sound?




What does it mean?



Well, it's sort of like I think that you are

a slimy piece of shit.



That sounds like champagne talking.

Oh, no, no, no, it's not.



It's not.

I really do think you are a piece of shit.



No, you don't.

You love me.



Oh, no.

The fuck I do.



I can't stand looking at you.



Then I guess I have nothing to say.



No, no, no, no. no.



I think you have a lot

more to say, damian.



Well, I'm a little surprised

that you feel this way, ellen,



because i'd always thought

you had admired me.



No, no, no,

that's not what I meant.



I think that you should tell everyone...



what you just told Nick behind the set.



Hey, wait a second.

This isn't part of the scene.



No, say it anyway.

Say it anyway, damian.



The reason that this scene isn't working...



is because you and I slept together

last night, right?



Did everyone hear that?



I fucked chad last night!



This is exactly what I was trying to tell you.

It's about rejection!



Oh, you fucking asshole.



You think I give a fuck about you?



I was there to get laid.

And even that was a joke.



You're really starting

to fuckin' piss me off!



Oh, I am? Does that mean

you're not gonna wiggle around on the bed anymore...



or stroke my hair all

soft and concerned...



or kiss me like a soap-opera-acting

piece of shit? Fuck!



- Hey, hey, hey! All right!

- Come on! I'll kick the fuckin' shit outta you!



hey, cut that... cut, cut, cut!

fucking loser!



I think we can

hold it right there.



Yeah, you bet we can hold it right there!

Wanda, call me a cab!



Hold on, chad. Just try and calm down.

Fuck you, man!



Hey, calm down.

Get your fuckin' hands off me!



First of all, I'm outta here!

This movie's bullshit!



Hey, one second there, chad.

No reason for hostility, okay?



Why don't you shut up,

you fuckin' loser.



The only reason

I took a part in this movie...



is because someone said that you were tight

with Quentin Tarantino!



You're nowhere, man!

Do you want to go?



Go! All right?



I am so sick of your shit,

you hostess twinkie motherfucker.



What did you say?



You heard me.

Say it again!



You hostess twinkie motherfucker.






Goddamn it.

Everyone, just stop it! Get off...



Nicole, get off!

Nicole, get off of him!



Come on! Get off of him!

Ow! God! Oh!



I'm gonna kick your ass, chad.



Wolf! Oh, god! Oh, god.






Oh, god. Wolf.



Come here!

I'll kick your fuckin' ass!



Hey, hey, hey!

You wanna pick my brain, huh?



This is how I direct

twinkie motherfuckers like you!



You scumbag!

Come on, i'll kick your ass!



You wanna pick my brain?

Hold it, tiger! Get off!

Let go! Easy now!






Have a nice flight home, buddy!

fucking killed him!



The only reason I cast you

is because of your name!



Yeah, get him outta here!

Take him back to his hotel!







Nicole, are you okay?

Don't touch me.



Can I help, guys?

Oh, shit, my back. I pulled my back, bob.



It's calledtsunami.

A japanese tidal wave hits new york.



You're an ex-navy seal frogman.

You're working undercover. You save the city.



You'd be perfect for the lead.

My number's there.



You call me, I call you.

Either way, it's been great working with you!



I'm sorry.

I didn't mean it.



You were great in that richard gere movie.

Shut up.



You are no different than he is.

You lie! You're deceitful!

I'm not lying!



Christ, I tell everybody

how great you are.



I've got nothing but respect

and admiration for you.



Christ, Nick, now you're doing

your own fucking script.



Why do you think I wrote it?

I have no idea.



It's about you.



It's how I feel about you.



Did you get a bump on your head,

Nicky, 'cause you're talking like an idiot!






Nicole, I've loved you

since the day we met.



Why didn't you tell me?



Because I didn't want anything

to interfere with us working together.



Oh, god.



And all this time

I thought...



Oh, god.



Don't go out that door!

Why not?



Because it's part of the set, goddamn it!

Now go around.



Next time.

This is an emergency!



Has ellen arrived yet?




Well, get her into wardrobe right away!



Scene five?

No, scene six.



Scene five has been postponed.

I'm not gonna tell you again!



Mr. Palomino isnotworking today.



What are you talking about?

Where's my goddamn smoke machine?



Oh, god.






What do you want?

I gotta use the bathroom, man.



- It's really an emergency.

- Fuckin' knock!



You're right.



One of these days, I'm going

to punch somebody in the balls!



straighten up.

you're not gonna believe this, Nicole.



Just as we pull up in front of your apartment,

palomino tells me...



he is suddenly so sick he can't

possibly work today.



God. Was it something he ate?

Straighten up, please.



I don't know.

Can he work tomorrow?



Turn to your right.

Don't know that either.



But you know what?

I'm not going to worry about it.



I had this dream last night,

I was on set.



You were in it, and another woman,

somebody older.



Anyway, everything was going wrong...



and no matter how hard

I tried to keep things together...



the more they just fell apart.



You know what that dream

was telling me, Nicole?



That I just have

to roll with it.



That's what I'm going to do today.

I am rolling with it.



So we shoot the dream sequence.



Hey, tito, man, you look great!

I feel like shit!



No, no, no, you look good,




Hey, thank you so much

for coming in on such short notice.



This is, ah, Nicole. She's playing ellen.

Hi. Toto, is it?






Oh, I'm sorry.

Um, so listen.



If there's anything I can do for you to...

you just let me know.



Put a stool in the bathroom.



Don't move, I'll be right back.




Tito, tito, your costume length...

did I just offend him?



Why, what'd you say?

"Short notice. "



Please, that was nothing.

My god, I'm the one

who called him "toto. "



You know, I am so out of it,

I dreamt I was on the set

last night too.







You were in the dream.

Was I freaking out?



Actually you were.




I freak out in your dream.

I freak out in my dream.



No wonder

I'm fucking exhausted.










All right, guys.

Special effects today. Could be kind of fun.



Who knows how

to work this baby?



It's the old t   .

I used it once in '  .



Damn. '  .

What's this?



That's where the gas go.

Nah, that's where the oil go.



Is it?

I'm pretty sure.



How do you know?

No, he's right. It's coming back now.



I'm gonna let you handle this, bob.

This is your baby.



Les, if he needs any help,

give him a hand. Word.



Okay, guys, we're all workin'

together today.



Yeah, it's comin' back now.

It's like ridin' a bike.



T        .

Anybody seen wanda?



     t   .

Wanda? Way to go, bob!



How we doin', wanda?

Not good.



Not bad, but not good.



We have to finish this scene

today and do scene   .



Scene   ? Today?




I don't even have my notes.

I left my notebook at home.



Nobody told me we were doing scene   .

I'll send someone...



to your apartment

and they'll pick up the notes.



Send someone to my apartment

to get my red notebook.

It's underneath the bed.



Oh, fine. All right.

Okay. It's taken care of. Thank you.



Hey, bob, get that smoke machine cranked up, buddy.

I want a lot of smoke today.



We're smokin'. All right.

We're lit. The smoke machine's under control.



We're ready to go.

Yeah, but what about the dolly?



Hey, just need to see a little run-through

and we're all set.



I'm gonna make your job

easy today, wanda. Hmm.



Wandaful, wandaful,




Mmm. I sure am glad

you wore that perfume.



Hey, don't worry

about palomino.



I'll take you to that jazz club tonight, yes.

Oh, I can't tonight.



I promised i'd visit chad.

He's extremely ill. Oh.



By the way, my eye's much better.







Listen, wolf, come here.



I know this may not be the

best time to tell you this,



but our relationship is going nowhere.

What do you mean?



Please don't take this personally,

because I care for you, wolf. I really do.



But I've been feeling

this way for quite awhile,



and I really just think

that it's best if we just end it.







I think it's better.



So do i.

Well, good.



Yeah. Sure.

So we're still friends?



Oh, well, great. Because, I mean,

we have to work together,



and I don't think that

it has to be unpleasant.



No, no.



Well, give me a hug.



You are a real special guy, wolf.






you're gonna have to put the microphone forward.

Don't you hear that?



Oh. Okay.

Can you hear me?



I'd like to get the a-team

in here, please:



Um, ellen and Nick

and mr. Tito.



Everyone pay attention.

We are rehearsing scene six.



I want it absolutely quiet.

Director working with actors.



Okay, listen up,

here's the shot.



We start wide with ellen absolutely still

in the middle of the frame.



Okay? You with me, wolf?




What happened to your eye?

Nothing. It's just sensitive today.



Can you see?

Of course I can see!



Okay. Ellen is standing

still and the smoke is flowing in.



And your first line?

"I am so hungry. "



Good. That's

your cue, tito.



All right,

then you come in, and you circle her once.



You hold that apple out,

just beyond her reach.

You're reaching for it.



Good, and you're

staring at her hard. Harder.



Good. Stop right there.

All right. Can we get a mark, please?



All right, then we dolly in

with a medium shot.



What do you think?

It should be hand-held.



No, I think

it's better on the dolly.



Nick, do I see him?

no. You just see the apple.



Tito, after that dolly in,

give me a little laugh there

at the end.



A little laugh?

Big, little, whatever you feel like doing.




All right?



Good. Let's shoot one.

Call it, wanda.



Okay, here we go.

The dream sequence is up.




on the smoke machine.



Okay, lock it up.

Here we go. Roll sound. Speed.



Roll camera.

Hold on, hold on,

hold on, hold on.



Bob, could we get a little more smoke?

Is that possible?



Oh, sure.

all right, good.

Call it, wanda.



and roll sound.


Roll camera.




Scene six, take one.



And... action!



I am so hungry.



Cut! That's a cut.

Nick, comments?



Yeah, just a couple.



Okay, that was, uh...

that was good.



Tito, that was good, man,really.

You didn't feel like laughing?



I laughed.

Oh. Okay, I guess I missed it.



You can make it bigger.

All right?



And, ellen, uh...

maybe a little more tension

when you see him.



I thought I didn't see him.

Right. Maybe you see him a little bit.



All right, wait,

do I see him or not?



You see him.

Okay. Okay. Then what is the tension?



I mean, who is toto?

It's tito.



What did I say?

Oh, my god, I'm sorry. "Toto. "



Tito, I'm sorry.

I don't know why I'm doing that.

Ellen, let's concentrate.



Remember, tomorrow

you're marrying damian.



You're a little anxious,

and you have this dream.



Let's call it an anxiety dream.

And tito represents the anxiety.




Sounds pretty simple,

right? All right. Let's just try it.



And, uh, bob, let's really

have some smoke on this one.



All right?

Okay, more smoke.



Good! Let's everybody

just relax. This is the one right here.



I still think

it should be hand-held.



Yeah, well, I don't want it hand-held.

I want it on the dolly.



Where's my notebook, wanda?

It's on its way.



All right. Call it, wanda.

All right, and roll sound.




Roll camera.




Scene six, take two.






I am so hungry.




That's a cut.



Nick, again?




All right, we're

going again right away.



Okay, ellen, good. I think

you're on to something here.




I'm sorry,

something's not right.

This all feels fake to me.



It's not fake!

It's real!



Just remember, you really

want that apple, okay?



Tito, I still think

we could see more

of a laugh at the end.



What kind of laugh?



Just a laugh.

Show me.



Oh. Okay, uh...



I'm thinking maybe something like this.



Something like that.



All right?

Now remember, tito, ellen, this is a dream.



It doesn't have

to make sense.



A laugh right there could

heighten our sense of, uh...






Exactly. Wolf,

how was that for you?



I still think

it should be hand-held.



Goddamn it!

It's not going to be!



I want it on the dolly!

So why don't you just forget about it?



And, bob, what the fuck

is with that smoke, man?



You got a couple of hamsters

in there blowing smoke rings

for christ's sake?



The left septic valve wasn't

open. I got it now. You're

gonna see some smoke now.



Okay, good. All right.

Call it, wanda. Uh, and, lock it up.



Nick, I need to talk to you for a minute.




In private.




release the lockup,



and everyone stand by.

Yo, bob, you still ain't getting no smoke, man.



I really don't like being

spoken to like this, Nick.

I don't like your attitude.



I don't have an attitude.

The hell you don't!



Every time I ask you to do

something, it's "no, no, no,

hand-held. " I'm sick of it!



I hired you to do a job.

If you're not going to do it,

let me know right now.







I'm sorry, Nick.



I'm just going through some

really heavy shit right now.



What do you mean?

I can't really talk about it,



but it's pretty heavy.




Personal, professional

and emotional.



It's really doing

a number on me, man.



Now you're telling me

that you're gonna fire me.

I can't handle it.



I never said that.

Wolf, I'm not gonna fire you.

You're doing a great job.



Am i?

Yeah, man.



I don't know what i'd do without you.

You've got a great eye.



I just hope it's not the one

under that eye patch.



Hey, listen, wolf.

Let me tell you something I've learned. All right?



Sometimes you just have

to roll with things, you know?



You're right.

Yeah, so just, just, just roll with it, man.



It'll be okay.



Thanks, bro.



That's where the oil goes.

No, it's where the gas goes.



I'm tellin' you, bob,

that's where the oil go.



Lester, don't you think bob knows

where the oil goes?



I don't remember

using oil in '  .



That's a hard one.



Maybe that's where both the oil

and the gas go.



I- I think he's right.

I think he is too.



Three parts gas,

one part oil.



we're all set now.

Okay, everybody, come on,

let's look alive here.






Is my notebook here yet?

Any minute, Nick.




Call it, wanda.



action on the smoke

machine, and roll sound. Speed.



Roll camera.

Rollin'. Scene six, take three.






I am so hungry.



Oh... shit.

Uh... whoa! Jesus!



All right, cut, cut, cut!



bob, are you okay?



Pull the plug!



You all right?

I can't find the switch.



All right, okay, all right!

Clear the set!



Ellen, tito, please step off the set!



what did you do?

I'm off the set.



So am i.

Well, who's that?



Nick, wanda...

who is that? Get off the set!



I'm back with Nick's notebook.



Please get us

some water in here!



- Hi, Nicky.

- Mom?



Her name is cora reve. R-e-v-e.



Blue housecoat,

blue slippers.



How do I know that?

She's sitting    feet away from me.



Yeah, well, sweetheart, that's gonna be a real

fuckin' problem...



because I don't have

available people to go...



she was waiting outside Nick's place when I went

to get his notebook.



She said she was looking for him, so I figured

I should bring her here.



You look pretty in that dress.



How did you get here?

I took a bus here.



Went right to your apartment.

How did you get out of your room?



Oh, I just went

right through the door.



It was unlocked?

Oh, no, it was locked!



I just went right through it.



It's something

I've learned to do, Nick.



I can walk through

just about anything, like air.



Mom, you've got to stop this.

I'm serious, okay?



I'm a little upset with you.

You could have gotten lost

or hurt.



But I wanted to see you, Nick.

I miss you.



Mom, I miss you too,

but this is not really a good time.



Nick, they're sending a car.

It'll be here in a couple of hours



they didn't even know she was gone.

Jesus, I don't believe this.



Oh, I'm sorry, Nick.



If I knew there was gonna

be a wedding, I would have worn my fuckin' hat.



Ho, ho, ho.



Ha, ha, ha.



Ha, ha, ha.



Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha.



Over here,

in this blue chair.



All right, you just sit here.

Can you see? ha, ha, ha.



Is the little fellow

going to do gymnastics? Shh!



No, mom!

Come on now.



You've got to be quiet,

all right? Absolutely quiet.






Okay, where the hell are we?

What's going on? How's the smoke machine?



It's dead.

I've got calls to every effects house in the city.



I can't locate one here, but in los angeles...

okay, forget it, forget it!



We'll shoot without it.

But, Nick, it is a dream sequence.



I know, wanda. It's okay.

We still have tito.



All right?

We'll just gonna have to roll with it.



Right, wolf?



Yeah. All right.

Good, here we go.



Ellen... all right, listen to me.

Nick, I... okay...



you've got to reach for that apple.

Keep reaching for it.



I don't feel like

you really want it.



You're looking at it like, oh, it's an apple, yeah,

but you gotta want it.



I don't know what you have to do,

how many times I have to tell you.



But you've got to want that apple, all right?

Nicole, what...



two seconds, wanda.

Then we shoot, goddamn it!



Nicole, what's the matter?



You tell me.

You're the one with the bug up your ass.



- Hey, wait just one second!

- You know, you've been picking

on me all day, Nick!



I can't do anything right!

Well, I'm sorry if I've been

short with you, Nicole,



but I think you can see

I'm under a little pressure.



I'm shooting a dream sequence

without a smoke machine,



I've got my mother thinking

she's at a circus wedding...



and then you tell me

the whole movie seems fake!



I never said that.

You did too! You said, "everything feels fake"!



I meant me!

I feel fake!



Everything I'm doing

feels fake!



I can't act!

I should just do shower scenes...



in richard gere movies

for the rest of my life!



Nicole, that's ridiculous.

You're a fantastic actress.



All you have to do is show me

you want that apple more than

anything else in the world.



Don't give up.







You ready, Nick?

One second.

You ready?




Come on.



Look out.



Sorry, Nick.

How's your dress?



Here we go.

Everybody concentrate and focus.



Tito, we're still looking

for a little laugh, pal.



Heard you the first time.

Call it, wanda.



Okay, picture's up.

There will be no smoke,

in this scene, all right?



No smoke. No smoke

in the dream sequence.



And lock it up.



Roll sound. Roll camera.





Scene six, take four.






I am so hungry.






That was great.

What is the matter?



Cut! Please stand by, people.

It's only a momentary delay.



We're gonna be going again

right away.



Listen to me, mom. Do not move from this chair.

Do you understand me?



Jesus, you sound just like your father.

Mom, I'm serious!




Okay, I won't move.



Thank you.



I won't move.

Okay, good.



Very good.






I think we're having

a little communication problem here.



All I want you to do is laugh. Okay?




I told you why.

Tell me again.



look, tito, you're overanalyzing this

whole thing. All right?



I wanna be specific.




Where'd you study?



That's irrelevant,

where I studied.



I just want you to know...

I'm just trying to get a feel...



In order to laugh, you don't need a technique.

You just laugh.



I want you to show me

how to laugh.



I showed you.

I don't want you to copy my laugh.



You just do whatever laugh.

Think of the funniest thing...



what if I don't think anything's funny?

Think of something funny.



Maybe you could give me something funny.

I don't know your life,



so you're gonna have

to help me out here.

It's not a very fun life.







Look, tito, it's not

that big of a deal.



It's a dream.

Strange things happen in a dream.



All I want you to do is laugh.

Why is that such a problem for you?



Why does it have to be a dwarf?




Why does my character

have to be a dwarf?



It doesn't have

to be a dwarf. Then why is he?



Is that the only way you can make this a dream?

Put a dwarf in it?



No, tito, i...

haveyouever had a dream

with a dwarf in it?



Do you know anyone

who's had a dream

with a dwarf in it? No!



I don't even have dreams

with dwarves in them.



The only place I've

seen dwarves in dreams is

in stupid movies like this!



Oh, make it weird.

Put a dwarf in it.



Everyone will go,

"whoa, whoa, whoa!



It must be a fuckin' dream!

There's a fuckin' dwarf in it!"



Well, I'm sick of it!

You can take this dream sequence

and shove it up your ass!



Nick, I can get right

on the phone.



We can try to get another

small person here...



as soon as possible.




He's absolutely right.



Do you wanna just shoot with

ellen, Nick? She could be

in the dream by herself.






We're not gonna

shoot anything.



I'm sorry.



Thanks for all your help,

but... it's over.



I can't take it anymore.



I tried to roll with it...



but it's time

to face the music.



I can't do this.



The shoot is over.



I give up.






Take the camera

off the dolly, start putting it away.



He can't be serious.



Give me that apple.



I'm ready, Nick.



What does that mean?



Roll sound.

Roll camera, wolf. Roll camera.



Give me the camera. Shh, shh, shh.




I am so hungry.



I'm so hungry.



Cut! Whoa, whoa, wolf, talk to me, man.

Did you get that?



Got it! Nick,

I'm tellin' ya, everything!



The laugh?

Yeah, see? Perfect!



Now that's what I meant about goin' hand-held.

You're a genius!



What about the focus?

nailed it!



Yes! Okay! All right!



Going again, Nick?

How was the sound?



I could use another,

but definitely acceptable.



Mom, you kook!

That was incredible!



Did you know we were filming?

Of course I knew you were filming.



You're a natural!



Nicole, that was beautiful!

That was it! Come here.



Oh, don't you dare tell me

that felt fake.



Going again, Nick?

Uh, all right, let me just think.



Can I really use this for the dream sequence?

That's the question.



Does it work

for the dream sequence?



We're gonna go with it, wanda!

All right, everybody, listen up!



That was a wrap on scene six!

Put it there, pal! We're gonna roll with it!



Hold it, hold it,

hold it! Hold it! Hold it!



Hold it, hold it!




I still have to record room tone.



I'll need    seconds

of silence.



Okay, okay, everybody,

   seconds of silence. I want to talk to you.



What's room tone?

You just have to be quiet, mom.



shut up!

It's for the sound guy.



The sooner we do this,

the sooner it's finished with.




Quiet! Quiet!



Now, nobody move!



Roll sound.




Mic's in position.



Scene six, room tone,




We have a new category

this year:



"Best film ever made

by a human being. "



And the winner is...




None other than my best bud,

Nick reve!



Had any experience?



Um, well, I was,

I was an actress for awhile.



Yeah, but can you

cook a hamburger?









I'm sorry, wolf.

Please, please forgive me!



I love you, wolf! I love you!

Give me another chance.









You know what I love

about you...



is you're not afraid

of my power.



Oh, god, wanda,

I love your power.



It's like an aphrodisiac to me!



That's my big beef special.

I'm gonna take it right over.



Hey, mo, how's your baby?






Dr. Zamansky, dr. Zamansky,



please call extension     .



Dr. Hubert, dr. Hubert, please

call the administrator's office.



In closing, I would...



I would like to say

to all the people out there...



who told me

not to make this movie...



who, who said no to me

when I asked them for money...



who, who wouldn't even read the script

or return a simple phone call.



To my favorite teacher

at film school who,



whose parting advice to me was to, uh, try

and find a job somewhere...



teaching spanish

at a women's college.



And to, uh...



delores del sorto,

the girl I loved...



I mean, I really loved

in high school...



who, who left me for...



a- a-a junior varsity football player.



To all these people

and many more,



I- I would love to say thank you,



but I can't...



because what I really

feel like saying is...



"go fu... "



And... that's a cut

on room tone.



Okay, strike the set!


Sorry, mom.



Props, art department, we're moving on to scene   .

Sit down over there.



Okay, let's go, people!

Come on! Where's my notebook?



Nick? Nick!

Has anyone seen Nick?



can Nicole

get out of her wardrobe?



All right,

camera off the dolly!




I want a twenty on Nick.


Special help by SergeiK