New York, I Love You Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the New York, I Love You script is here for all you fans of the anthology movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some New York, I Love You quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

New York, I Love You Script

Hey, go to Williamsburg.
You going to go to--

Oh, I'm sorry, man.
Uh, yeah. Sorry.

Going to Williamsburg.
North 6th and Wythe.

Do you mind?
I'll just hang onto you.

Can you just drop me off
at Williamsburg Bridge?

That's fine because I'm headed
into the Bowery. Do you mind?

All right, that's fine.
We'll just split a fare.

Two stops.
Yeah. Chamber Street.

Just take the FDR--
No, no, not FDR Drive.

Not Chamber Street. No.
Oh, my God.
If you take FDR Drive,

first of all,
it's more of a fare.
I do this every single day.

It's an extra 20 minutes.
I got to be somewhere.

Take the FDR Drive, please.
It's a lot faster.

I think we can hang down
the West Side Highway

and make a left
on Chamber Street.

There's no point, though.
There's going to be--

Bleecker, guys.
We're going Bleecker.

No, we both want
to go to the same area.

Bleecker's going to take
an extra hour.

Bleecker Street is totally
out of the direction.
That's ridiculous.

Both of you, out of the cab.

Wait a second.
Calm down, man.

We're not going to get out.
We'll share the same rate.
We're not going to Bleecker.

Out of my cab.

Hey, sweetheart.
How you doing? It's me.

I'm doing good.
Thinking of you.

Yeah, I dreamt
about you last night.

I'm ready for you.
Had my Wheaties.

I miss you, too.

You ready?

Okay. I got some surprises.

Whoa. Magnifique.

Pardon. Excusez-moi,

This yours?

Um, it is. It must have
fallen out of my bag.

It was on the floor
near the bathroom.

That was really nice of you.
How can I thank you?

I wouldn't mind
if you bought me a drink.

Great. What would you like?

Whatever you're having.
Two gin and tonics, no ice.

Losing your cell phone's
like losing your mind.

Do you come here a lot?

I do. A lot. Too much.

Long story.

Tell me.

I've got a ton of time.

I only saw my dad
once in my whole life,

right here.

When my mom
was pregnant with me,

she never told him.

Just left him.

Growing up, she had
a lot of boyfriends.

Went through one
after another.

Always left them.

Every time she'd leave
a man, though,

she'd keep something,
like a souvenir.

Maybe a book or a necklace
or a painting.

When she left my dad,
she kept me.

I was her souvenir.

Before she died,
she gave me a piece of paper

with his name
and number on it.

I called him up,
and we met here.

I said one thing to him.

What did you say?


That's it?

"I'm a gift for you,
from Mom."

Thank you.

I walk past your
flower room every day.

I see you,
but I say nothing.

I'm so afraid
to look at you.
Oh, girl.

You say I'm the strongest.
I say you're the kindest.

You ask me where I'm going.
I point to the ocean.

Oh, girl.

Very touching.

Lyrics to this song.

Let me have a cigarette.

I think it's Japanese.


Xie xie.


Which means "Thank you,
I fuck, and you're off-key."

He found my phone for me.

Really? Very nice.
Thank you.

Gary. Nice to meet you.


How are you, Benjamin?

Just Ben.

Thank you.

Nice to meet you.

I'll leave you two alone.

Have a seat. Sit.

Sit down.

We know each other?

It's possible.

You look familiar.

New York's not such
a big place.

You study? NYU?

I wish.

I teach there.

Am I a good teacher?

You're a good teacher.
Thank you.

So what do you do?


Could be.
That is funny.

Might be? Used to be?

Will be?

To be or not to be.
Well, I'm a thief.

I've been trying to steal you
from your wife,

but it hasn't worked so far.

Can I get the bill?

You lost your wallet?

You lost your wallet.

Is this yours?


Yeah, that's my wallet.

Merci beaucoup.
Money's gone.

I recently lost my wallet,

but I managed
to get my money back.

A young man should never
be without cash.

Knock yourself out,
young man.

You lost your wallet?

Did you lose
my pictures, too?

How could I?

How did you get these?

I took these, like,
five minutes ago.

Aren't you full
of surprises today.

You took off your ring.

Ben, your keys.


Ben, wait up!

I've come into the city

only to do this deal,
so it better be good.

My customer
wants natts, ASAP.

I'm in the middle
of my wedding arrangements,

but I came here to do
this business with you.

Who are you
getting married to?

His name's Chaim.

§ Chaim in the mood §

§ For love §

Where's my invitation
for your wedding?

Did you invite me
to your wedding?

Oh, I wish I had.

25 years I've been trading
with Hasidic people.

I know nothing about them.
They know nothing
about Jain peoples.

Strictly business.
We don't come to 47th Street
to chitchat.

While you inspect the goods,
I'm going to eat.

Excuse me. Hmm?

You can't eat meat, right?
You Hindus?

No, we are not Hindus.
We are Jains.

Hinduism is too
materialistic for us.

No meat, no fish.

And what can't you eat?
No pig, no shrimp.

What else can't you eat?
No onion, no garlic.

No milk and meat together.
No potato, no roots.

Nothing that hasn't
been blessed.
Nothing too spicy.

It is exciting the passions,
you know.

The Christians--
they eat everything.

They're like the Chinese.

They never have to
spend too much time

picking a restaurant.

That's why
there are no Christians

in the diamond market.

How can you trust a person

who will eat anything?

This parcel's
not so good.

At least 20% rejection
you've given me.

How much?


Too much.
Way too much.

I'll give you 480.

Why are you doing this
to me?

My children
will be crying at home

because after
I do business with you,
I have no money for food.

I can't make
commission on this.


Maybe I can give my children
some dry bread.

I have to check
with my customer.

My customer
says too much.

No, he doesn't.

I know
you understand Gujarati.

That's why I lied.

And I know you know
I know Gujarati.

And I know
you know Yiddish.

I was speaking
to an answering machine.

520, as a wedding present.

I'm sorry.
I can't shake your hand.

I'm not allowed
to touch any man

who isn't my husband.


And mazel for your wedding.

Mazel for the dozen children
you'll soon have.

Thank you.
Is that your children?

Minesh and Paresh.

Where's your wife?
Oh, she's not looking
that good

in the photographs
these days.


Last year she decided
that marriage was a sin.

Now she's in India,

with her head shaved,
going door to door,

collecting food in the bowl.

She used to be my wife.

Now I have to worship her.

Don't worry.
She's not the only one
without hair.

I had to shave off
all mine this morning

'cause I'm getting
married tomorrow.

This is a wig.

Why? What is so wrong
with women's hair anyway?

Why you all want
to cut it off?

They wanted me to cut it off
on my wedding night.

I said "No way."

It took 25 years to grow,
10 minutes to cut off.

And now,
for the rest of my life,

I have to wear
some other woman's hair.

For all I know,

you could be wearing
my wife's hair right now.

What do you mean,
your wife's hair?

Most human hair in America
comes from our temples
in India,

where women offer
their long locks to God

so that they
can be sold to the West
and you can have your wigs.

While we are waiting
for the Messiah,

while we are waiting
for Mahavir...

your eyes will suffice

to give tired men hope.

This is not the proper
etiquette in this neighborhood.

What is this?




Ah, oui?
Ah, oui.

Oh, I'm s--
I'm so sorry.

Wow, that's an entrance.

Wait. Which way
are you going?

Uh, I was just gonna go over
cross town to the East Side.

Oh, I guess
I can film there, too.
Okay, let's go.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome.


David? Are you okay?

Did I wake you?

Yeah, you can say that.

Listen, he left me a message
about a couple of music cues.


Abara, your director.

Uh, okay, which ones?

5, 7, 8, 12, 13--

Okay. Okay, great.
What was the message?

He hates them.

You have to change them.


He didn't say.

Oh, well,

what do you think, Camille?

Maybe you should
talk to him directly.

Mmm. Yeah.

Yeah, I'll call him.

Hey, Camille.
It's your favorite stalker.

Did you talk to Abara?
Yeah, we talked.

He talked for, like, two hours
about, like, composers--

Wagner, Brahms, Gustav Mahler,
Tchaikovsky, Dostoyevsky.

That killed me.

isn't a composer.

Are you okay?
Never better.

Great. Well,
I need your address.

Abara wants to messenger
you something right away.

Does he?

Hold on.

Aw. It's on my phone.

I'm a total idiot
when it comes to numbers
and addresses.

My last girlfriend...

I couldn't remember
her birthday.

She broke up with me
because of that.

Yeah, well,
you deserved it.

Probably. But the upside
is that I'm single now.

So, dinner?

You're sleep deprived, David.

No. I'm Camille deprived.

I'm thinking
Balthazar for dinner

and maybe a little pastis
for dessert.

I'm thinking unemployment
if you don't finish
those cues on time.

Give me your address.


Hey, did you get the books?

I left them
outside your door.

Wait. What-- You were here?
Why didn't you call?

I knocked, like,
a hundred times.

What the hell is this?

He talked to you
about Dostoyevsky.

"Please read."

Is this guy crazy? Am I--

Am I supposed to read these
or eat them?

Okay, David.
I'm gonna put you through
to Abara, okay?

You can talk to him.

How'd it go with Abara?

He just said
"Read the books, Dave.

"Don't use CliffNotes
or Wikipedia.

Just read them." So fine.

I'm on a bench in Central Park
with The Brothers Karamazov.

800 pages, and I'm page 22.


Bless you.


What? What's wrong?

I can see the Dakota.

John my god.

You know his song "Mother"?

I was a kid
the first time I heard that.

Why can't I write
a song like "Mother"?

Oh, I just
sent you a picture.

Oh, my God.

Is that John Lennon
standing behind you?

I'm just kidding.

I have no idea
what you look like, Camille.


Send me a picture.

No. No way.

Is that what you look like?

If you're calling for Camille,

please leave a message
after the beep.

There are 1,784 pages,

and it takes me four minutes
to read one page.

1,784 pages times
four minutes a page

is 7,136 minutes,

which equals 118.9333 hours,

which comes to 4.955 days.

But you can round it off
to five days without sleeping.

It's impossible. I quit.

I quit.

Goodbye, Camille.


Please leave a message
after the beep.

Hey, David. It's Camille.

You know, when Dostoyevsky
was writing The Gambler,

he signed a contract
with his publisher

saying that he would
finish it in 26 days.

And he did it,

but he had the help
of this young stenographer.

This girl--
she stayed with him,
and she helped him.

And afterwards,

they actually got married.

Isn't that cool?

That's how he met his wife.

Anyway, I found this story

in the preface
for Crime and Punishment.

So I was thinking that--

And this would have to be
between you and me.

But I was thinking that
I could read the books

and tell you
what's going on.

That way, you could just
focus on your music.

But only if you're
comfortable with this.

And if you're not, you know,
we can just forget it,

and you can quit.

But if you are,

then open this door.

Open...this door?

Okay, a deal's a deal.

Does this mean
we're getting married?

I have a lot of reading to do.

Hi. I'm Camille.

Hi. I'm David.



Thank you.

That was kind of a powerful,
intimate situation.

What was intimate?

Just now. Just-- We...

Sharing the flame.

I mean, that was--
that was intimate.

If you say so.

Oh, come on now.

You know what I'm
talking about.

Our hands almost touched.

I looked at you, and you
lifted your head up slowly,

and our eyes met.

It was-- It was--
It was intense,

and it was intimate.

Wow. Stop it.
I feel naked.

Yeah, well, you know what?
I have that effect on women.

I mean, not all women.
No, not all women.

But it has happened before,
so don't be alarmed.

Yeah, I bet.
Yeah. Don't ignore
what's happening here.

We're having some kind
of powerful, weird alchemy,

and you have to pay attention
when that happens.

This stuff is not
to be treated lightly.

Listen, I actually
just came out here

to have a cigarette,

And relax and do my thing.
Okay. No. Sure.
Sure. Yeah.

So, uh,
maybe another time.

Yeah. But there may not
be another time. Okay?

I may never get
this chance again.

I mean, we may never,
you know,

be able to return
to this-- this moment.

Well, then, you should know
that I'm married and happy.

Right. Uh-huh.
And where is he?

Huh? Huh?

He leaves you out here alone,
in the dark, without a light.

I'm not feeling that.
Well, he doesn't smoke, so--

But you love him anyway.
Yeah. Why not?

Sure. Sure.
He just abandons you, huh,

to your mortal disease,
and leaves you alone to suffer

and die, when he's in there
pretending to love you?

I don't respect this guy.
I think he's a coward.

I think he's selfish.
And forgive me for saying this,

but I think any moment now,
this guy's gonna open up
his real self to you,

and it's gonna be all--

like, scary stuff's
gonna come out.

You know,
I felt it right away.

I felt it right away--
that I think--

I'm gonna say something
a little bold here.

But I think you might
be married to the wrong person.

I don't know that
even if that were true

that I'd tell you.

We're not exactly friends.
No, we're not.

That's true.

But we did share a flame.

Speaking of.

See? Look at that.
See? You need me.

You're walking away,
and you need me.

We share a flame.
Thousands of tiny molecules
are heating up right now.

They're penetrating
our brain.

They're stimulating
our sexual desire.

I don't know about you,
but I find that shit
very romantic.

And I'm so glad
you walked over here

because now I can feel
a little bit more comfortable

to tell you
that I happen to be,

uh, on the forefront
of men

able to find and locate
a woman's G-spot.

And I could
do that for you.

That's really generous
of you. Thank you.

It's my pleasure.
Well, it's your pleasure.

And what makes you think
I haven't located it yet?

Um, the way you hold
the cigarette.

It's a little high
and tight, you know?

What you have to do
is you have to lower it.

You have to bring it
all the way down in there
so it just sits comfortably.

It rests there.
If it's high
and tight like that,

the whole body
gets restricted,

and the plexus
gets closed off,

you know, and the vagina
gets locked.

Look, I just happen to know
this crazy, weird technique
with the vagina.

It's kind of cool,
and I thought
you'd be interested.

But you have to
be prepared.

You know what I mean?
Preparation is the key.

I mean, it starts
with a little walk.
Just a short walk, like...

You know, like, to, uh--
like my apartment.

It's a couple blocks from here.
And we would walk,

and I would tell you
a few little elegant,
classy jokes.

You know, kind of getting us

a little giggly,
a little silly.

You know? And then we'd share
a glass of Burgundy.


We'd bask
in the warm, gentle,

romantic yet erotic

of, uh, my spacious loft.

And then
I would undress you,

and you would undress me.

We'd stand naked before
each other, and we'd kiss.

I find-- I find kissing
a very helpful,

sweet way to-- to relax.

And then, maybe I would--
I would--

I would bite your neck
a little bit.

Not-- Not hard. Just gentle--
gentle little nibbles,

like-- like a little kitty cat,
you know?

And then--
And then you would feel

my hands kind of descend
to your lower region,

kind of, uh,
finding their way,

massaging the skin
around your clitoris,

which would even
stimulate the arousal
even more.

All the time,
I'm whispering

delicate little poems
in your ear, you know?

And the blood
from your body

is-- is rushing
to the wet internal walls,

and my fingers
would slide effortlessly--

Are you an actor or something?

Or a comedian?
You're a comedian.

No. I, uh--
I'm kind of a writer.

Oh, you're kind of a writer.
Yeah, kind of.

You know, what about you?
What do you do?

I'm a hooker.

What exactly does that mean?

That exactly means that people
pay to have sex with me.


So, if I wanted
to, um...

Here's my card.

It's got my number
and my Web site on it.

So wow.
You're, uh...

That's why you're--
Fridays is no good.

Saturdays and Sunday
are busy.

Weekends are...
Avoid weekends.

You know, I look forward
to hearing from you

and sharing another...
intimate moment.

Well, fuck me.

In New York City,

there are currently
759 drugstores

and over 1,registered pharmacists.

On the day of my senior prom,

one of them
would change my life.

Shit bums.
They lose 2 to 1 again.
One run.

They couldn't
hit a ball with an oar.
Listen, this is on the house.

I heard about what happened
with you and that girl
you were dating.

I'm really sorry.

And on prom night.

Like there's gonna
be other proms.

Well, there's not
gonna be another prom.

Not now, not ever.

She's a whore, all right?
Crushing a young man's dreams.

She's a snake fucking
devil whore is what she is.

She's got no right.
It's-- It's really--
It's all right.

I mean, we only went out
a couple months,
and I'm okay with it.

Here's the thing.
I'm gonna help you.

Come here for a second.

I got something
to show you.

That's my daughter.
She'll go to the prom
with you tonight.

It's the right thing
to do.

And that's not
chopped liver, right?


I was 17, and I'd only
been to second base,

but I felt like tonight
could be my lucky night.

Hey, kid.

Hey, Mr. Riccoli.

Call me Frank.
Oh. Yeah.

You look good.

Oh. Hey.

Listen, try to get her home
by 12:00, 12:30.

She's gotta
take her pills.

Why are you stopping?

That's my girlfriend.



I'm sorry.
I came with Gil.

He's a film major
at NYU.

Oh, that-- that's cool.

We're-- We're cool.

It's no biggie, you know?

How's your, uh,
swimmer's ear?

Good. Better.

Who's your date?


Yeah. Yeah.

You know, it was her dream
to go to prom,

and I said, "Of course I'll
make your dream come true."

I want to dance.

Uh, we should--
we should talk first.

I want to dance.

Everybody clap your hands.

Check it out, y'all.

How low can you go?

Can you go down low?

All the way to the floor?

How low can you go?

Can you bring it
to the top?

Like you'll never,
never stop?

Wait! That's my limo!

You've got your own wheels.

Want to walk me home
through the park?

Through the park?


I had a really
good time tonight.

Me, too.

I should probably
take you home.

Make a wish.

I really can't think

of anything right now.

Come on.

Take my panties off.

Come on.

Yeah, that's them.

Okay, now take
your pants off.


Come on.

Come here.

Grab my legs.

That's it.

Mmm, it's morning.

Oh, fuck!

-I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

They lose it in the 9th--
these rat bastards.

They lost it 8 to 7.
8 to 7.

Them Yankees
need some pitching.
Hi, Daddy.

Hi, baby.

I, uh-- I really want
to thank you very much.

There are not too many
young men like you left
in this city.

Well, it's my pleasure.

Yeah, New York actresses--
they drive you nuts.


Last year,
she played Helen Keller.

She walked around the city
for two weeks, blindfolded.

You know, to get
the feeling of the part.

Broke her nose twice.
Now she's doing
this thing downtown--

what the fuck--
Whose Life is it Anyway?

Anyway-- Anyway,
she's doing 20 hours a day
in a chair now.

Central Park covers
almost 843 acres.

It is 6% of Manhattan.

There are also 127,Method actresses in New York,

which is 2%
of the population.

And on the night
of my senior prom,

these two elements
came together

to make one perfect wish
come true.

God, I love New York.

§ And here I am §

§ The only living boy
in New York §

All right, guys.
I'm done.

I'm out. Yeah.

Thanks, man.


You look like you're gonna
have a heart attack.

That was nothing.

You know what?

Give me a sec, all right?
Just gonna go say bye.

My man.
All right.

That's for you.

Now, with a little bit
more practice...

I ain't practicing.

You had me going.

You're good.


All right.
Let's go.

I don't know why
I said I'd meet him.

I know I gave him my number,
but when?

When we said goodbye?

Oh, yeah.
It was at the bar.

I didn't realize we were
gonna go home together

at that point.


Why did I do that?

Why did I act like that?

I'm only gonna have
two drinks tonight.

I'm not gonna
have sex with him.
I don't want to.

I really don't.

God, I had no intention

of going home
with him or anyone.

When he sat down next to me,
it was so clear

we weren't each other's style
that it wasn't even weird.

And since there was no vibe,
we just started talking

without thinking anything,

and then I don't know
what happened.

It's a bad idea
with this girl.

What am I saying?
She's not a girl.

I have no idea
how old she is,

but she's not a fucking girl.

Why am I walking
30 blocks to this bar?

I'm not in a good space
for this.

Yeah, she was beautiful.
Yes, she had a great body,
and she's smart.

Was she even drunk?
I don't even know.

I don't even know what she was.
Does it really matter?

Ow. Am I imagining things,
or is my dick itching?

No, no, no.
It's just these pants.

They always rub me
the wrong way.

God, that was sexy.

It was beyond sexy.

I felt like I was in
a damn Bertolucci movie.

What is wrong with me?
Why am I so fucking nervous?

This is ridiculous.
Let's just get in a cab.

No, you're too early. Shit!
I need a cigarette.

I don't think I was drunk.

Although I definitely had
red wine teeth
when I came home.

I'm sure he found that
really attractive

as I sat at the bar
yammering about myself.

Oh, no wonder he was so
excited when we got home.

I finally shut the fuck up.


I hardly said a word
the rest of the night
after that.

It was good,

but there's nowhere
for it to go.

I think it would've been fine
if it was just sex,

but it took another turn.

Something happened.
I don't know what zone
that was,

but both of us
played into it.

It's good
we're gonna do this--

have a couple of drinks
and get straight.

Let him know
I know what this was--


God, I hate that window.

I don't want
to see the innards
of the subway system.

Makes me feel sick.

Just get me there.

Hi. Can I get a Jameson?

Here you go.

You left that on.

I'll look at it later.


Thank you.

This is not the room
I wanted.

I don't find it comfortable
so near to the street.

The noise.

I can carry my bags.

That is my job.

This is good.

I was hoping it would snow.

Then the street is quiet.

The world goes quiet.

I don't think
there is snow.

You're not American.

No, we're not so many of us
American in this hotel.

It's one of the things
I love best about New York.

Everyone came
from somewhere else.


Well, I hope you will be
very comfortable here.

Please call down
if you need anything.

There are no flowers.

Is it possible
to have flowers in the room?

Violets? Or...

I love violets.

I'm not expecting you
to buy them, of course,

if you, uh--
if you don't have them.

I'm sure
I can find some violets.

Come in.

How did you do that?

I didn't do anything.

You must have
requested them.

They were downstairs
in lobby.

I didn't.

All the better.


So you're lucky, no?

These violets
were waiting for you.

Are there any other
miracles I can perform?

Oh, I doubt it.

What-- What's happened?

Here, here.


I'm s-- I'm sorry.
Here, here, here.

No, no. Come on.

Put your head back.

Are you in pain?

It's not my business.

From your back?

Wait here.

I have something
for you.


The mystery of the violets
is solved.

My father is, um--

My father is manager here--
at hotel.

He's very happy
you have returned to hotel.

He's very big admirer
of yours, madame.

He says he heard you sing
many times in Paris.

Please thank him.

Paris is place
I wish I visit.

Would you like me to open?


Would you join me?

I don't...



You seem so sad.

No one so young
should be so sad.

Do you still sing?



I'm sorry.

I should love
to have heard you sing.


You are too cold.



How can you bear it?

Don't know how
you can bear it.

I'm sorry. I--
I don't see anything.

Did you see something
in the street?

Would you like me
to close the window, madame?

It is very cold.


Please close the window.

The manager is very happy

that you've returned
to the hotel.

He remembered
your love of violets

and hopes you enjoyed them.

He's a great admirer
of yours, madame.

Says that he
heard you sing

many times in Paris.


Please thank him.



I see the paint
on your hands.


I'm a painter, too.

Already there's been some
serious interest, you know?

People like my stuff.

I mean,
they really like it.

You've been here long?

It's not easy here.

I see things everywhere.
Don't you?

It's all new.

On the walls,
on bridges,

I see things.

I get my palette
from the sky.

I wait, and I paint.

Don't you think,
when you first come here,

you come because this

is the capital
of everything possible?

Ah, for a while,
it can be.

I can make
the buildings dance.

Whole cities move
because of me.

It's how you look
at things, Teya.

You see a city between
the buildings.


You see the shapes
they cut out in the sky?

Mm-hmm, like Mommy's teeth.


That's okay.

My umbrella's
out of control.

Boing, boing, boing.

It's everywhere.

You like that dog?
Imagine if we were in
a huge umbrella,

if we were living
in a huge umbrella.

That would be so weird,

because then we're going
to see a green

or any color all the time.

Why's that squirrel
chasing the other

Because he loves her.

Then why is she
running away?

Because she's scared.

Hmm. Can we go
to the fountain now?

The fountain?
I don't remember
where the fountain is.

Do you?

Oh, no! Oh, no!

Mommy doesn't let me
eat hot dogs.

You want sushi?

Seaweed's gross.

Then it's our secret, okay?

All right.

Bracelet fell in.

Excuse me.


We couldn't help but notice

how good you are with her.

Oh, thanks. Thank you.

It's so unusual
to meet a manny.

And a good manny,
at that.


You know, a male nanny.

Well, thank you. Thanks.

Excuse me.

Tey. Come, baby.

Let's go now.

Time to go. Come.

The sun's a boy,
and the moon's a girl.

Exactly, Tey.

El sol, la luna.

La luna.
Yeah, that's right.

I like when
they're both out.

They make all these
pretty colors,

and it's kind of like
purple, hot pink
and regular pink,

and they sort of, like,
play tag with each other

while they still can.

Hey, sweetness.

Hey, Mommy.


Nice outfit.

Did you pick that out

Yep. And the bracelet matches.

It does.

Ed's over there.
He's got a snack
for you.

No, thanks.

You're going to get hungry.

Nuh-uh. I had a hot dog.

You need to be firm
with her, okay?

She needs the discipline.

She needs you.

She misses you.


pick her up
again tomorrow?



Come on, monkey.

Daddy, Daddy!

Excuse me. All this
for dry cleaning?

Yeah. Is tomorrow okay?

Why not?

After 5:00.

You've been shopping.

Very expensive stuff.

I don't like to run out.

Your Cantonese
is improving.

I've been studying.

Have a nice night.


Hey, how are you today?


I want to paint you.

You know, portrait.

Um, would you like--
Come with me?

Why me?

I don't know.

I really don't know.

I can't.


Okay. I'm sorry.

I'm going to give you
my address.

If you change your mind...

I'm waiting for you.

Hey. You looking
for something?

I looking for the painter.


The painter.

The painter is dead.

You want apartment?

Can I help you?

Oh, thank you.

You're welcome.

Well, I guess
this is useless.

Aren't you the one
who's always filming
in the coffee shop?

I thought I was being
more discreet.

I guess my secret's out now.

If you ask for permission,
you never get it, so...

So you like to break
the rules, then?

A lot of people
give me trouble.

Well, I will be
the exception for today.

Oh. City's full
of surprises, right?


Hey, it's me. Can we talk?

Yeah, Peter. How are you?

Yeah, yeah, of course.

I'll get it to you
in the morning.

No, they're very
important clients.

No. Losing a client
is not an option.




Thank you.

No, I don't care.
Tell him to postpone
the opening.

Yeah, yeah, of course.

And if their lawyer
tries to contact you...

Yeah. Oh.

What do you see?

No, don't mention
the second offer.

Not yet.

No. Okay, Peter.

You, too. Thanks.

You know,
this is what I've always
liked about New York--

These little moments
on the sidewalk, smoking,

thinking about your life.

Makes you appreciate
the city better.

You can watch the buildings.
You can feel the air
and look at the people.

Sometimes meet somebody
you feel like you can talk to.

You can talk about what?

Things you can say
to a stranger.

You know, when there's
no past, there's no guilt.

Have you ever made love
to a perfect stranger?

Now you're teasing me.

I believe I am.

Well, I mean...

No, not exactly
a perfect stranger,

if you mean someone
I wouldn't know at all.

It's sad.

It's sad? Why?

Because there's almost
nothing more exciting

than fucking somebody
you don't know.


You don't know
their name,

barely saw
their face.


Don't tell me your name.

You know what?
As soon as I finish
this cigarette,

I have to walk back
into that restaurant

and sit down again
in front of my husband.


And he won't look at me.

And he won't notice
I'm not wearing a bra
under my dress.

No bra?

No panties, either.


No underwear?

Not today.

I feel sad for this
poor, lonely husband

who can't see his wife's
hidden talents.

Don't you think he's like
every man, though?

He's typically
blind and bored by
his very own wife,

ready to fantasize about
the first unknown woman

he hasn't fucked yet.

Am I bothering you?

Not at all.

Yeah. And you say that because
now I've turned you on, right?

You want
to take me to bed.

Do you want
to take me to bed?

Yeah, I probably do.

Aw, come on. All right,
why are you telling me
all of this?

Because tonight
I want things
to change.

Chain smoking's
a bad thing.

Who knows?
Maybe we'll meet again.

Thank you.

Enjoy your meal.

I love you.

I love you, too.


§ A heart that's full up §

§ Like a landfill §

§ A job that
slowly kills you §

§ Bruises that won't heal §

What the hell
happened to you?

I was doing downward dog,

and then I went
into chakrasana,

and that's when it happened.

What's a downward dog?


Oh, yeah. You know,

I remember you used to be
really loose and limber.

Mr. Riccoli, can you just
fill the prescriptions now?

I didn't mean loose like--
I know what you're saying.

I just have somewhere to be.



What the hell--
Who you with?

Birth control?
What the hell
are you doing?

Oh, come on.

No, listen,
I'm just saying that,

you know, I think, Lydia,

personally it's time
for you to have babies.

What are you, kidding me?

What's wrong with you?
I'm out of here.

What'd I say?

What did I--

You used to be nice.
What happened to you?


Hey, Lydia, come on.
Talk to me. What'd I say?

Hey, I'm sorry.

What the hell did I say?


You're picking on me again.

I just don't understand
why I'm always the one

who has to initiate

Not true.

We don't go anywhere.

You don't take me

I took you to
the park last week.

Come on. I'm talking about
outside of the city.

Name one place
in the past two years

outside the city that
you've taken me to.

Beach in the Hamptons.

That's where we met,
and you hated the Hamptons.

I'm talking about
a road trip,

or a canoe trip, even.
A bike trip.

Will you stop
with the phone?

Just name one.



If you could go
anywhere in the world,

where would you go?

You know where.

Come with me.
What are you doing?

I just bought tickets.
We're leaving now.

We are?

Are you out of your mind?

I don't have anything
with me right now.

Well, I will buy you
a toothbrush.

In Rome.

Coach is fine.

Lift your feet.

You don't lift
your feet.

I'm lifting my feet.

No, you're shuffling.

The doctor said
you should lift
your feet.

I'm lifting, I'm lifting.

You want you should fall down,
break your other hip?

At least then the pain would
be the same on both sides.

Everything always has to
be equal with you.

I'm a democratic
sort of fellow.

Well, see how
democratic you feel

when you fall down
and break your other hip.

I'm not breaking any hips.

Is there some place
you got to get to later?

What is your hurry?

My hurry is
I want to get there
before next week.

At the rate you walk...

You want faster?

Divorce me and get yourself
a younger man.

Tom Cruise, perhaps.

You think you're funny?

I do, as a matter of fact.

Then what would you do,
Mr. Smarty-pants?

Mr. I'm so independent,

I don't need any help
opening the pickle jar.

I got caught in a pickle.

You'd still be
putting on your jacket
if it wasn't for me.

Go ahead, hit me,
why don't you?

Want to run me down?

All the time, honking like
they own the place.

We could have driven.

Who could have driven? You?

You're going to give me
a heart attack now?

What's the good
of having a car

if I never get
to drive it?

You can't drive.
You can't even
read the street sign.

I still have my license.

Only because
that girl at the DMV

took pity on you.

All that flirting
with her, oh.

It was embarrassing.

Brighton Beach Avenue.

As if you didn't know
what street this was.

I know what street this is.
Of course you know
what street this is.

You think I don't know
what street this is?
Did I say you didn't?

I was reading the street sign.

A regular Evelyn Wood
I married.

Hurry up, it's green.

The light's going to change.

Step up.


You sure?
We're not in any rush.

I said I'm okay.

Don't walk so fast.

I don't want to have to
call an ambulance.

I don't want to think about
trying to make that cell phone
she sent us work.

Did you call her?

She called me.

What did she say?
What do you think she said?

"How are you? How is Dad?
What are you doing?"

And what did you
say to her?

I told her we're doing
the same thing we do
every year.


She said she sent us
a card, and did we get it.

Did we get a card?
Did you see any card?

Maybe it just
didn't get here yet.

She probably sent it late.

Don't criticize.
I'm not criticizing.

You are criticizing.

I'm just saying,
she probably forgot

and then remembered
at the last minute.

You wait and see.

The postmark
will be yesterday,

as if it could get here
from France in one day.

Where are you going?

I don't want
to take the ramp.

Well, the ramp is easier.

I'll take the stairs.

You're going to kill me.

Today of all days, he decides
he'll finally kill me--

Do away with me by making me
take the stairs.

Give me a heart attack,

just watching you
take the stairs.

They have smart police
these days,

like the cute one on CSI.

They'll figure it out.

It'll make headlines--

Man kills wife
on 63rd anniversary,

walking up stairs.

Hey, hey!


They ought to arrest them.

Let's go have lunch.

Let's go. Come on.

Let's go.

I'm coming,
I'm coming.

Lift your feet.

I'm lifting.
No, you're shuffling.

Lift your feet. Lift.
I'm lifting, I'm lifting.

All right. Come on.

I fixed your hat
a little bit.

You're looking okay
with your hat.


Looking pretty
good-looking to me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

I look terrible.

I don't understand
what happened.

Happened. What happened?

Special thanks to SergeiK.