Voila! Finally, the Up In The Air script is here for all you fans of the George Clooney, Anna Kendrick, and Vera Farmiga movie based on the Walter Kirn novel. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. At least you'll have some Up In The Air quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?
And swing on back to Drew's
Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.
Up In The Air Script
This is what I get in return for 30 years
of service for my company?
And they send some yo-yo like you
to try to tell me that I'm out of a job?
They should be telling you
you're out of a job.
You have a lot of gall, coming in here
and firing your No.1 producer.
Then you're going to go home tomorrow and make
more money than you've ever made in your life
and I'm going to go home
without a pay check. Fuck you.
I guess you leave me dumbfounded.
I don't know where this is coming from.
How am I supposed to go home as a man
and explain to my wife I lost my job?
On a stress level, I've heard that
losing your job is like a death in the family.
I feel more like
the people I worked with
were my family and I died.
I can't afford to be unemployed.
I have a house payment,
I have children.
I don't know how you can live
but I'm sure that you'll find a way
while the rest of us are suffering.
Who the fuck are you, man?
Excellent question. Who the fuck am I?
Poor Steve has worked here
for seven years.
He's never had a meeting with me
before or passed me in the hall,
or told me a story in the break room.
That's because I don't work here.
I work for another company that lends
me out to pussies like Steve's boss
who don't have the balls
to sack their own employees,
And in some cases for good reason, because
people do crazy shit when they get fired.
Did I do something wrong?
I mean, is there something
I could do differently here?
This is not an assessment of your
productivity. Try not to take this personally.
Don't take it personally.
Steven, I want you to review this packet.
Take it seriously. I think you're gonna
find a lot of good answers in here.
I'm sure this is gonna be very helpful -
Thank you... A packet.
Well, anybody who ever built an empire
or changed the world sat where you are right now.
And it's because they sat there
they were able to do it.
That's the truth.
I'm gonna need your keycard.
Now, I want you to take the day, go get
together your personal things, then tomorrow
you get yourself some exercise.
You go out for a jog,
you give yourself some routines
and pretty soon you find your legs.
How do I get in touch with you?
- Don't worry, we'll be in touch with you soon.
This is just the beginning.
I'll never see Steve again.
To know me is to fly with me.
This is where I live.
When I run my card,
the system automatically prompts the desk clerk
to greet me with this exact statement:
Pleasure to see you again,
It's these kinds of systemized friendly
touches that keep my world in orbit.
All the things you probably hate
about travelling -
the recycled air, the artificial lighting,
the digital juice dispensers,
the cheap sushi -
are warm reminders that I'm home.
Do you want the cancer?
- Do you want the cancer?
- Oh, no. I'm fine, thank you.
How much does your life weigh?
Imagine for a second
that you're carrying a backpack.
I want you to feel the straps
on your shoulders. Feel 'em?
Now I want you to pack it with
all the stuff that you have in your life.
You start with the little things,
the things on shelves and in drawers
the knick-knacks, the collectibles.
Feel the weight as that adds up.
Then you start adding larger stuff -
clothes, table-top appliances, lamps, linens...
The backpack should be getting
pretty heavy now. And you go bigger.
Your couch, bed, your kitchen table.
Stuff it all in there.
Your car, get it in there.
Your home, whether it's
a studio apartment or a two bedroom house.
I want you to stuff it all
into that backpack.
Now try to walk.
It's kind of hard, isn't it?
This is what we do to ourselves
on a daily basis
We weigh ourselves down until we can't
even move. And make no mistake...
moving is living.
Now, I'm gonna set that backpack on fire.
What do you want to take out of it?
Photos are for people who can't remember.
Drink some ginkgo and let the photos burn.
In fact, let everything burn
and imagine waking up tomorrow with nothing.
It's kind of exhilarating, isn't it?
Welcome back, Mr Bingham.
Ryan Bingham's office.
- You have me in a Dodge Stratus in Kansas City.
They were out of all full-size sedans.
- Did you try...
Yes, I reminded them of your remarkable
No.1 Gold Club status and years in the program.
They are literally moving mountains
to see you in a Sebring.
Fair enough. Any other messages?
- Er...your sister Kara called.
Needs to speak urgently
about your sister's wedding.
I told her you were mid-air,
and not even I knew your final destination.
Well done. - And you got an invitation
to speak at GoalQuest in Vegas.
Every once in a while, I do speaking engagements,
motivational kind of stuff. But GoalQuest?
We're talking major Tony Robbins shit.
It's got a hologram on it.
They're calling it Dos Equis.
All right, I'll check in.
- I've got Craig Gregory for you.
How is my little road warrior?
Hey, 20 minutes from boarding
into a world of bliss.
Real good numbers out of Phoenix,
Ry guy ...
and you know that Big Auto is about to cut
another 10K before the end of the month?
- Christmas came early.
Wish I could have you in five places at once, but I do need
you back here in Omaha by the end of the week. All right?
I thought you needed me everywhere.
- Well, we got something real big, a real game changer.
What are we talking about here?
You'll see. Today I took my first crap
in two weeks - hallelujah.
That's me hanging up on you.
- Great, love that sound.
Are you satisfied with Maestro?
Yeah, I am.
A little stingy with their miles.
I like Hertz.
No, Hertz keeps its vehicles too long.
If a car has over 20,000 miles, I won't drive it.
Maestro doesn't instant checkout.
I like the park-and-go.
Hertz doesn't guarantee navigation.
- That's funny; you don't seem like a girl who needs directions.
I hate asking for directions.
That's why I get a nav.
That new outfit, Colonial, isn't bad.
Is that a joke?
Their kiosk placement blows.
- They never have available upgrades.
Basically, it's a fleet of shit boxes. I
don't know how they're still in business.
- I'm Alex.
How dare you bring that into this palace?
Hilton offers equal value and better food but
the Maplewood gives out warm cookies at check-in.
I'm a sucker for simulated hospitality.
There's an industry term for that.
It's a mixture of faux and homey - faumey.
Oh, my God.
I wasn't sure this actually existed.
This is the American Airlines...
- It's a Concierge Key, yeah.
What is that, carbon fibre?
Oh, I love the weight. - I was pretty excited
the day that bad boy came in.
I'll say. I put up pretty pedestrian numbers.
60 thou a year, domestic.
That's not bad.
- Don't patronize me.
What's your total?
- It's a personal question.
- And we hardly know each other.
Come on, show some hubris.
Come on, impress me.
I bet it's huge.
- You have no idea.
What is it, this big? This big?
- I don't want to brag.
Oh, come on! Come on.
Let's just say I have a number in mind
and I haven't hit it yet.
This is pretty fucking sexy.
- Hope it doesn't cheapen our relationship.
We're two people who get turned on by elite status.
I think cheap is our starting point.
There's nothing cheap about loyalty.
So, we came up with this master plan,
which was for me...
...to put gauze,
to put bandages on both my hands.
Then we got on the plane,
transatlantic, flying to um...Zurich.
Walked up, waited till it was dark,
and I walked up to the bathroom with her.
Everybody was watching the movie and I was like...
Opened up, went inside. She opened the door for me,
and came in like she was gonna help me.
We gave it our best shot. It wasn't
great. But it was fun. It was tricky.
Give me some details.
- It's not so easy. Have you ever tried it?
It's not so easy.
- Yes, I have.
You've done that?
- I have done that.
On a transatlantic flight?
- On a domestic flight - regional, actually.
- How do you do that?
Oh, I'm really flexible.
Ah, I should throw these out.
We can always use that room
with the ice machine.
Not in there. Look.
Good call on that towel rack.
I like how you burritoed me
in the sofa cushions.
I was improvising.
Shame we didn't make it to the closet.
We got to do this again.
- Oh, yeah.
I'm in Newark on the 12th,
Modesto on the 13th...
Oklahoma City on the 15th...
Any Southwest? I'll be swinging by
Albuquerque week of the 16th.
No, I'm in Florida on the 20th.
- Fort Lauderdale?
- That's nothing. - 40 minutes.
I should probably go back to my room
so I can wake up in my bed.
I think that would be
the ladylike thing to do.
Nice meeting you.
- A pleasure.
Hey, Ryan, how you holding up?
Every family has the one person
who keeps the genealogy in check.
That's my sister Kara - the glue.
Fine. You and the kids?
Matthew made varsity. How's the road?
Couldn't be better.
Good. So, Ryan?
I didn't even want to have to ask you this, because
I know how you are about doing things for others.
But we're coming up on three weeks to go to Julie's wedding
and there's something we could really use your help on.
We've been sending people these kits,
so they can print out photos
of Julie and Jim on cardbord,
and then take photos of them in interesting places,
kinda like that gnome in the French movie.
Because it's Julie's wedding and she thinks
it would be fun. Does it matter why?
How is Julie?
Would you call her.
She thinks you've turned to butter.
You're awfully isolated the way you live.
- Isolated? I'm surrounded.
So your assistant said
you were gonna be in Vegas.
Can you get a photo of the cut-out
in front of the Luxor pyramid?
The place is a shithole.
Nobody stays there.
Jesus, Ryan, I'm not asking you to check in.
Can you just take a stupid photo?
I'll try my best.
Thank you for trying your best.
I spent 322 days on the road,
which means I had to spend
43 miserable days at home.
I signed for this while you were gone.
- Oh, thanks.
I hope it wasn't too much of a bother.
It's my sister. I haven't met the guy yet.
They're getting married.
Lots of luck.
- I know, right?
What are you doing tonight?
You wanna come over later?
Um...I've started seeing somebody.
Oh. OK. Great.
Hey, it's good to see you.
- It seems like it's been a while this time.
I'm thrilled that everyone's back
under one roof. Welcome home, boys.
I know there's been a lot of whispering about
why we're here, so let me jump right in.
Retailers are down 20%.
Auto industry is in the dump.
Housing market doesn't have a heartbeat.
It is one of the worst times on record
This is our moment.
Now, last summer, we received
a dynamite young woman here from Cornell.
And she had some pretty big ideas
that she challenged me with.
And my first reaction was,
"Who does this kid think that she is?"
But after I gave it a listen,
she really knocked me out. So...
With a peek into our future,
If there's one word I want to
leave you with today, it's this.
Our global must become local.
This company keeps 23 people
on the road at least 250 days a year.
It's expensive and it's inefficient
When I came to Craig
three months ago with this,
he told me, and quite astutely, it's only
a problem if you have a solution.
Well, today I stand before you
with just that.
You all know Ned in reception.
Today I'm gonna fire Ned.
Sorry, Ned. I'm sure HR
will hire you back this afternoon.
We'll see about that.
Now Ned could be any employee in any one
of our clients' locations worldwide.
will be shipped in advance.
Ned will be given a seat and find one
of our transition specialists waiting for him.
the reason we're having this conversation
is your position is no longer available.
I don't understand. I'm fired?
Hearing the words
"You've been let go" is never easy.
Change is always scary,
but consider the following:
anybody who ever built an empire or
changed the world sat where you are now.
And it's because they sat there
that they were able to do it.
That's my fucking line.
But what happens now?
This is the first step of a process that
will end with you in a new job that fulfills you.
Yeah, but how does it work?
Take the packet in front of you.
Review it - all the answers
you're looking for are inside.
Start filling out the necessary information and
before you know it you will be on your way to new opportunities.
Now Ned, I need you to go back to your desk
and start putting together your things.
As a favour to me, I'd appreciate it
if you didn't spread the news just yet.
Panic doesn't help anyone.
Give it up for Ned.
You can start the morning in Boston,
stop in Dallas over lunch,
and finish the day in San Francisco.
All for the price of a T1 line.
Our inflated travel budget
is eviscerated by 85%.
And more importantly,
to you guys on the road,
no more Christmases in a hotel in Tulsa,
no more hours lost to weather delays.
You get to come home.
Tell me you're not taking this seriously.
That's why I brought the entire company in
from the road,
because we're not taking it seriously.
There is a methodology to what I do.
There is a reason why it works.
Coke and IBM have been doing this
for years. Are you familiar with them?
Like anything else, it'll take a few months
to sort of transition and everybody will settle in.
Who are you taking off the road?
- How are you not getting this?
You are grounded.
Everybody's grounded. It's done.
What we do here is brutal
and it does leave people devastated.
But there is a dignity to the way I do it.
By stabbing them in the chest
instead of the back. Is that right?
You wanted to see me?
- Well, uhm...
You know what? Yeah, come on in.
- Great job out there.
Thank you. How's everyone taking it?
Listen, I admire your...zeal.
And I think you have some very good ideas.
But you know nothing
about the realities of my industry.
You can set up an iChat,
but you don't know how people think.
Actually I minored in psychology.
OK, kiddo, fire me.
If she's gonna do this regular basis, don't
you wanna know if she can fire somebody?
She's fired Ned.
- My dog can fire Ned. Fire me.
You don't need to do this.
- No, it's OK. I got this.
I regret to inform you that your position
at this company is no longer available.
Hm. Who the hell are you?
My name is Miss Keener. I'm here
today to discuss your future.
My future? The only one who can fire me
is Craig Gregory.
Mr Gregory hired me to handle this for him.
- Handle what? Handle Me?
Mr. Gregory hired me,
he's the only one who can fire me.
You know what? I'm gonna go talk to him.
- Mr Bingham...
No, no, no. You can't follow me.
You're on a computer screen, remember?
- Let's try this again. Fire me again.
I just did.
- Actually, you didn't. Fire me.
That's enough. I think we get it.
Mr Bingham, I'm here to inform you
your position is no longer available.
- Yes, you're fired.
Never say fired.
- You've been let go.
This is a mythical situation.
How could I possibly know why?
Why doesn't matter,
you never know why.
It's important to not focus on the why, and rather, spend
your energy thinking about your future.
Well, I'm gonna spend
my energy on suing you
unless you give me a good
reason why you're firing me.
Mr. Bingham, the reason's not important.
S you're firing me without grounds?
Now I really have a lawsuit.
I get what you're trying to say, Ryan.
- Don't take this personally, Mr. Bingham.
This is the most personal situation
that you are ever gonna enter,
so before you try to revolutionise my business,
I'd like to know
that you actually know my business.
That's a hell of a way
to welcome her to the team.
Am I the only one that sees that by doing
this we're making ourselves irrelevant?
we're making you irrelevant.
- Don't blame me.
Blame the high fuel costs, blame insurance
premiums, blame technology.
Watch yourself. You're a little too young
to become a dinosaur.
I'm not a dinosaur.
- I want you to show her the ropes.
What do I know what goes on here?
Get Ferguson to do it.
I'm not talking about here.
You're very very confident
this girl doesn't know what she's doing. So...
I'm sorry. I don't think a MySpace page
qualifies you to rewire an entire company.
Great. Here's your chance. Go out there, show her
the magic, take her through the paces.
I'm not a fucking tour guide.
Now here we go.
- Bingham, here's the boat.
And here's you.,
Do you want to be in the boat?
We're ringing the bell,
we're rounding everybody up.
You want to stay out there a little bit longer, you're
welcome, but you will not be alone. Okay?
You let me know.
- Follow me.
I really like my luggage.
That's exactly what it is - luggage.
Know how much time you lose
I don't know. Five...10 minutes?
- 35 minutes a flight.
I travel 270 days a year.
That's 157 hours.
That makes seven days.
You willing to throw away an entire week on that?
You don't need this.
Sorry, you don't need that.
You're not gonna need that.
They have neck pillows on the plane.
This - they have better ones there.
I'll get rid of this.
I can just meet you at security.
Bingo - Asians.
You can't be serious.
- Never get behind people traveling with infants.
I've never seen a stroller collapse
in less than 20 minutes.
Old people are worse.
Their bodies are littered with hidden metal
and they never seem to appreciate
how little time they have left on earth.
Five words: randomly selected
for additional screening.
Asians, they pack light, travel efficiently,
and they've got a thing for slip-on shoes, God love em.
- I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
Are you mad at your computer?
I type with purpose.
What is it that you're working on
I'm building a workflow
of firing techniques.
It's questions and responses,
actions and reactions.
A script taking you through the steps
of firing someone.
Who's it for?
you could put it in the hands
of anyone and they'd be downsizing immediately.
All you have to do is follow the steps.
what is it you think we do here?
We prepare the newly-unemployed for
the emotional and physical hurdles of job hunting,
while minimizing legal blowback.
That's what we're selling.
It's not what we're doing.
OK, what are we doing?
- We are here to make limbo tolerable,
to ferry wounded souls across the river of dread
until the point where hope is dimly visible.
Then stop the boat, shove 'em
in the water and make 'em swim.
That's really impressive.
Are you gonna put that in your book?
I gotta grab this.
I'll meet you at the car rental.
Hey, I was hoping I'd hear from you.
I'm in Hotlanta and I need
a rib-joint recommend bad.
Fat Matt's. Bring a bib.
You never called.
- I wasn't sure what was appropriate.
Appropriate? Ryan, I'm not some waitress
you banged in a snowstorm.
That word has no place
in our vocabulary.
I'm the woman that you don't have
to worry about.
Sounds like a trap.
the next time that you're worried
about manners, don't.
If you wanna call, call.
Just think of me as yourself, only with a vagina.
When am I gonna see you?
Well, I'm out of Hartsfield into IAD,
with a connection in ORD into SDF.
Yeah, tell me about it.
How long's your layover? They got
multiples into SDF. Think you could push?
Yeah, I can push.
All you have to do today
is watch and listen.
And when I talk about a strategy
packet, hand them one of those.
So although I wish I were here
with better news,
the fact is that you and I are
sitting here today because
this will be your last week
of employment at this company.
- What am I supposed to do now?
Am I supposed to feel better
that I'm not the only one losing my job?
This is ridiculous!
I have been a fine employee for over 10 years
and this is the way you treat me.
How do you sleep at night, man?
How's your family?
They sleeping well at night?
Electricity still on?
Heat still on, refrigerator full of food?
Gas tank full of gas?
Going to Chuck E. Cheese
this weekend or something?
No, my kids,
we're not gonna do anything.
What do you suggest I tell them?
Perhaps you're underestimating
the positive effect
that your career transition
can have on your children.
The positive effect?
I make about 90 grand a year now.
Unemployment is what -
250 bucks a week?
Is that one of your positive effects?
We'll get to be cosier cause I'm not gonna
be able to pay my mortgage on my house.
So maybe we can move into a nice
fucking one-bedroom apartment somewhere.
And I guess without benefits,
I'll be able to hold my daughter as she,
you know, suffers from her asthma
that I won't be able to afford
the medication for.
Well...tests have shown that children under
moderate trauma have a tendency to
apply themselves academically...
..as a method of coping.
Go fuck yourself.
That's what my kids will think.
Your children's admiration is important to you?
Yeah, it was.
Well, I doubt they ever admired you,
Hey, asshole, aren't you supposed
to be consoling me?
I'm not a shrink, Bob.
I'm a wake-up call.
You know why kids love athletes?
- I don't know. Cause they screw lingerie models?
No, that's why we love athletes.
Kids love athletes
because they follow their dreams.
Well, I can't dunk.
- No, but you can cook.
What are you talking about?
Your résumé says that you minored
in French culinary arts.
they work on the fryer at KFC,
but you bussed tables
at Il Picador to support yourself.
Then you get out of college
and then you come and you work here.
How much did they first pay you
to give up on your dreams?
27 grand a year.
- And when were you going to stop
and come back
and do what makes you happy?
I see guys who work at the same
company for their entire lives,
guys exactly like you.
They clock in, they clock out,
and they never have a moment of happiness.
You have an opportunity here, Bob.
This is a rebirth.
If not for you, do it for your children.
He just waltzes in and cuts in line?
We reserve priority assistance
for our Hilton Honors members.
The promotions are great.
You should check it out.
Our business expense
allots $40 each for dinner.
I plan on grabbing
as many miles as I can.
Okay, you gotta fill me in on the miles
thing. What is that about?
Are you talking about...
like frequent flyer miles?
You really want to know?
- I'm dying to know.
I don't spend a nickel if I can help it
unless it somehow profits my mileage account.
So what are you saving up for -
Hawaii, South of France?
It's not like that.
The miles are the goal.
You're saving just to save?
Just say I have a number in mind
and I haven't hit it yet.
That's a little abstract.
What's the target?
I'd rather not.
- Is it a secret target?
It's 10 million miles.
OK. Isn't 10 million just a number?
- Pi is just a number.
Well, we all need a hobby.
No, I... I don't mean to belittle your collection.
I get it. It sounds cool.
I'd be the seventh person to do it.
More people have walked on the moon.
Do they throw you a parade?
- You get lifetime executive status,
you get to meet the chief pilot,
And they put your name on the side of a plane.
Men get hard-ons putting their name on stuff.
You guys dont grow up.
It's like you need to pee on everything.
- Now who's stereotyping?
Fear of mortality. It's like,
yeah, you're gonna die one day.
Why do you suppose that is singular to men?
Probably because you can't have babies.
- The baby argument.
If I had that many miles...
I would show up at an airport,
look at the destination board,
pick a place and go.
Thanks for the advice.
Uh...a little left.
Down a little.
Too far. Up. Up one more inch.
I don't get it. Why does your sister
want a fake photo?
My sister is kooky. She thinks
this is charming. It's like the gnome thing.
No, I mean, why would she want a fake photo
in front of the St Louis airport?
Are you kidding - Lambert Field?
The Wright brothers flew through there.
That domed main terminal,
is the first of its kind, it's a precursor
of everything from JFK to de Gaulle.
- Just take the picture.
Well, that's a keeper.
Let me see it.
Why she wants dozens of reminders of all the
places she hasn't been is beyond me.
I'm sure she'll be crushed
for having missed this airport.
Look, before Lindbergh could cross the Atlantic,
he took off from one of those runways.
You ever wonder why they called it
the Spirit of St Louis?
Do you know how fucked
this place is now?
I am the one thing - the one thing-
preventing this place
from being totally fucked in the ass.
Sometimes they just need to vent.
Please, for the love of God,
can I fire the next one?
Miss Barnes, thank you for joining us.
- I'm here to be fired, right?
Well, we're here
to talk about your future.
You don't have to sugar coat it.
I get the drill.
What are they offering?
Inside the packet, you'll find a clearly
worked out severance package.
Give me the bullet points.
It's actually pretty good -
three months' pay, six months' medical.
And a full year of placement services
through our company CTC.
Placement services. That's generous.
Commonly it takes one month of searching
for every $10,000 you expect to earn in salary.
So I could be looking for a while.
- Not necessarily.
Don't even sweat it.
I'm pretty confident about my plans.
There's this beautiful bridge
by my house.
I'm gonna go jump off it.
People say these things all the time.
It's part of the trade.
They say crazy things.
They get worked up.
She was really calm.
I think that's a good sign.
So they don't ever actually do it?
- No. No. It's just talk.
How do you know? Do you follow up?
- I mean, no, nothing good's gonna come of that, but..
I wouldn't worry about it.
This is what we do, Natalie. We take people
at their most fragile and we set em adrift.
Ready to go back in?
All right, let's go. Come on.
No, I'm fine. Tell me something sweet.
I'll be back soon. I'm not really sure how long
this exercise is supposed to last.
No, I don't even think of him that way.
I- I'm done?
- I wasn't expecting this. Not at all.
Just like that?
I'm disappointed that I've given
so much of my life...
This is not fair.
There are people that are gonna be
way more qualified than me now.
I don't know what to do
when I wake up tomorrow.
Are we going?
This is how I start every day of my life.
Now, this is gonna be a little difficult,
so stay with me.
You have a new backpack.
Only this time,
I want you to fill it with people.
Start with casual acquaintances,
friends of friends,
folks around the office.
And then you move into the people that you trust
with your most intimate secrets -
your cousins, your aunts, your uncles,
your brothers, your sisters,
and finally your husband, your wife,
your boyfriend or your girlfriend.
You get them into that backpack.
And don't worry. I'm not gonna ask you
to light it on fire.
Feel the weight of that bag.
Make no mistake, your relationships are
the heaviest components in your life.
Do you feel the straps
cutting into your shoulders?
All those negotiations and arguments,
and secrets and compromises.
You don't need to carry all that weight.
Why don't you set that bag down?
Some animals were meant to carry each other,
to live symbiotically for a lifetime -
star-crossed lovers, monogamous swans.
We are not those animals.
The slower we move, the faster we die.
We are not swans.
You never want to get married?
Never want kids?
- Not a chance.
Is that so bizarre?
Yes, it is.
- I just don't see the value in it.
Right, sell it to me.
Sell me marriage.
OK, how about love?
Stability, just somebody you can count on...
- How many stable marriages do you know?
Somebody to talk to,
someone to spend your life with.
I'm surrounded by people to talk to.
I doubt that's gonna change.
How about just not dying alone?
Starting when I was 12, we moved each one
of my grandparents into a nursing facility.
My parents went the same way.
Make no mistake, we all die alone.
Now, those cult members in San Diego,
with the Kool-Aid and the sneakers...
they didn't die alone.
I'm just saying there are options.
Brian left me.
OK. Ok. All right.
All right. Shh, shh.
Natalie, this is Alex, my friend.
This is Natalie.
I should give you both a moment.
No. No, that's fine.
I'm fine. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Maybe we should just all
go up to our rooms and freshen up.
Maybe a drink?
- Now you're talking.
He broke up with you
with a text message?
It's kind of like firing someone
over the internet.
What a weaselly prick.
- Yeah, but what does that make me?
Someone who falls for a prick.
- We all fall for them.
Pricks are spontaneous,
they're unpredictable and they're fun.
Then we're surprised
when they turn out to be pricks.
I followed him to Omaha.
- You did?
I had a job waiting for me in San Francisco
when he got an offer from ConAgra.
He said we could start a life together.
So I followed him.
- To Nebraska?
I thought I'd be engaged by now.
- That's all right.
When I was 16,
I thought by 23 I'd be married,
maybe have a kid, corner office by day,
entertaining at night.
I was supposed to be driving
a Grand Cherokee by now.
Life can underwhelm you that way.
I mean, where did you
think you'd be by um...
It doesn't work that way.
- At a certain point, you stop with the deadlines.
It can be a little counterproductive.
I don't want to say anything
I really appreciate evrything that
your generation did for me.
It was our pleasure.
- Well done.
But sometimes it feels like,
no matter how much success I have,
it's not gonna matter
until I find the right guy.
You really thought
this guy was the one?
I could have made it work.
He um... He really fit the bill.
- The bill?
White collar, college grad.
Loves dogs, likes funny movies.
Six-foot-one, brown hair, kind eyes,
works in finance but is outdoorsy...
you know, on the weekends.
I always imagined he'd have a single
syllable name like Matt or John...
In a perfect world, he drives a 4Runner, and
and the only thing he loves
more than me is his Golden Lab.
And a nice smile.
What about you?
- Let me think.
You know, honestly, by the time you're 34, all the
physical requirements just go out the window.
Like you secretly pray
that he'll be taller than you.
Not an asshole would be nice. Just someone who
enjoys my company, comes from a good family.
You don't think about that
when you're younger.
I don't know...
someone who wants kids.
Likes kids. Wants kids
Healthy enough to play with his kids.
Please let him earn more money
than I do.
You might not understand that now,
but believe me, you will one day.
Otherwise that's a recipe for disaster.
And hopefully some hair on his head.
But I mean even that's not
a deal breaker these days.
A nice smile.
Yeah, a nice smile.
Nice smile just might do it.
Wow, that was depressing.
I should just date women.
- Tried it.
We're no picnic ourselves.
I don't mind being married
to my career.
And I don't expect it to hold me in bed
as I fall asleep.
I just don't want to settle.
You're young. Right now you see
settling as some sort of a failure.
It is...by definition.
Yeah, but by the time someone is right
for you, it won't feel like settling.
And the only person left to judge you
will be the 23-year-old girl
with a target on your back.
So what's the plan for the evening?
Well, we were gonna hit that party
for the tech conference at the hotel.
I didn't know you could just attend
those. I thought you had to be registered.
I don't think it's open to the public.
- You're gonna crash it?
Wel, they throw a pretty nice party,
have a good time, usually.
- No, no, I get it. I'm in.
- Ah, it'll be fine.
Doing all right?
Yeah. This was a great idea.
You're so pretty.
what I wanna look like in 15 years.
Thank you, Natalie.
- You should dance.
- No, no, no.
- I'm Natalie.
I don't know.
How's everybody doing out there?
Right about now, give it up
for a very special alphaTECH guest.
What's up, alphaTECH?
I got a busted computer at home.
Can somebody fix it for me?
I want you to have a key to my place.
Wow. I had no idea we were
at that point in our relationship.
Where is she?
Back home I don't get to act the way
I do with you.
That's why I don't have a back home.
- I know.
You're so cool.
Mr Empty Backpack.
You know about my backpack?
- I Googled you.
It's what us modern girls do
when we have a crush.
Does it bother you?
- It depends.
Is the bag empty because you hate people or
because you hate the baggage that they come along with?
I don't hate people.
I'm not exactly a hermit.
You just don't want to be tied down
with the whole responsibility thing.
I don't know what
originally sparked the backpack.
Probably needed to be alone.
Recently, I've been thinking
that I needed to empty the backpack
before I know what to put back in it.
- I think we're out of gas.
Hey. You're up.
I have to fly standby
and make a meeting in Cincinnati.
I made you feel cheap.
It's all right.
Just leave the money on the dresser.
I'll text you later
so we can swap schedules.
I really like you.
I like you too.
Go catch your plane.
Last night uh...
It was kind of out of hand.
I said things um...
I'm not actually sure
everything that I said.
But I didn't want you to think...
- Just relax.
It was nice to see you cut loose.
Did you wake him up or slip out?
- This morning. Your new friend.
Did you wake him up
for an awkward goodbye, or did you
just slip out
and make him feel like a whore?
I just left.
- Protocol's always tricky.
What happened to Alex?
She had to leave town early
to get to a meeting.
That's too bad. Where does she live?
Thinking of going to see her?
We don't really have that
kind of relationship. Try it over there.
kind of relationship do you have?
Well, you know...casual.
Sounds pretty special.
- It works for us.
Do you think there's a future there?
I never really thought about it.
What's going on here?
Really never thought about it?
How can you not think about that?
How does it not cross your mind that
you might want a future with someone?
It's simple. You know that moment
when you look into somebody's eyes
and you can feel them staring into your soul and
the whole world goes quiet just for a second?
- Right. Well, I don't.
You're an asshole.
No. I'm just dicking around. Come on. Give me a hand.
- Don't you think it's worth giving her a chance?
A chance for what?
- A chance at something real.
Natalie, your definition of real
will evolve as you get older.
Can you stop condescending for one second
or is thta one of the principles of your bullshit philosophy?
- The isolation, the travelling.
Is that supposed to be charming?
- No, it's simply a life choice.
It's a cocoon of self-banishment.
- Wow. Big words.
- Ahh, screw you, too.
You have set up a way of life that basically makes it
impossible for you to have any human connection.
And now this woman comes along andsomehow
runs the gauntlet of your ridiculous life choice,
and comes out on the other end smiling
just so you can call her "casual"?
I need to grow up?
You're a 12-year-old.
I don't have a gauntlet...
Now listen, these Detroit guys can be tough.
They've been getting hammered.
So you don't get distracted.
Stick with the simple stuff.
Get these packets in their hands
and get them out the door, OK?
Hey, welcome to Detroit.
What's going on here?
I've been looking at those great numbers over the last few days.
I thought we should nut up and give this a try.
We could use a little more time.
Well, you gotta leave the nest at some point, huh?
This a real company, Craig.
We're here to do some damage.
I know. It's a good thing we brought
our best. Okay, let's stop screwing around.
Just give me a minute to prepare
and get my things together.
I was thinking that Natalie
was going to take this one.
She's hardly ready for that.
I've been watching her results
the last few days. She's great.
This is a whole other animal.
You know, she created it and everything, right?
Natalie, are you not up for it?
Yeah, I'm game.
That's my girl.
Just remember, don't apologize,
don't tell them how hard this is for you.
Today's one of the worst days they're ever gonna
have in their life. How we feel doesn't even compare.
- Just keep it professional. You'll be fine.
What's all this? What's going on?
Hello, Mr Samuels.
I wish I were here with better news.
However, your position here
at Wertheimer's is no longer available.
What are you talking about?
You've been let go.
Just like that?
Who are you?
My name is Miss Keener and I'm here
today to talk about your options.
I worked for this company for 17 years
and they send a 4th-grader to can me?
What the fuck is this?
It's perfectly normal to be upset.
However, the sooner you can
tell yourself that greater opportunities...
I'm 57 fucking years old.
Anybody who ever built an empire or
changed the world sat where you are now.
And it's because they sat there
that they were able to do it.
There's a packet in front of you. I want
you to take some time and review it.
All the answers you're looking for
are inside those pages.
The sooner you trust the process, the sooner
the next step of your life will unveil itself.
I need you to go back to your office now
and put together your personal things.
that's all we can discuss now.
You did good.
You OK? You want me to take over?
No, I'm all right.
Look, we just got here. That's one place.
I think we need to try a few more.
Maybe it doesn't make a difference, but it's
comforting to know we're in the next room.
I know you don't give a shit
about my ...
I think we could try a few more,
that's all I'm saying.
All right. OK. All right.
He thought you did a great job.
I'm real proud of you.
They're pulling us off the road.
We're going home.
Really? For good?
I'm sorry what I said about Alex.
That was out of line.
It's all right. I understand.
I mean, who am I to be doling out
relationship advice, right?
Are you gonna be OK?
What do you mean?
- In Omaha?
I don't know.
It's better than you think.
Ryan. Where are you going?
- I'm grabbing another flight.
Something I've got to take care of.
I'll see you back at ... home.
OK, just walk it in a little.
A little more.
They're a cute couple.
You think so?
- Yeah, they'll make cute kids.
How do you like Wisconsin
I like it if you're there.
I know a killer burger in Milwaukee.
What are you doing this weekend?
- What, I haven't...
You want me to be your date?
- Yeah. Yeah.
At your sister's wedding?
- It's not like I know her that well.
Look, I'm not the wedding type, right?
But for the first time in my life I don't
want to be that guy alone at a bar.
I want a dance partner,
I want a "plus one."
And if you can stomach it,
I'd like it to be you.
Excuse me. Are you available?
This line's for members
of our Matterhorn Program.
- Kara. Hi.
Alex, this is my sister Kara.
Ryan's told me nothing about you.
So you two are dating?
- Well, hey, don't worry about it.
We're all getting a little old
to be calling someone girlfriend.
I remember when Mom
used to call Jack her boyfriend.
Drove me up the wall.
Boyfriends are for kids, right?
So what are you doing at the hotel?
Yeah, OK, uh...Frank and I
are trying out a trial separation.
I'm sorry. So you're not staying at the house?
- No, there was a room on hold here,
so I thought I'd just take it for the weekend.
So the rehearsal dinner?
- Oh yeah, tonight. I'll see you there.
There's a packet.
Hey, look who's here.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Ryan!
Oh, you must be Alex.
- Yes, I am. Hi. How are you?
You are so beautiful. Kara was right.
Gosh. You look so grown-up.
You're the one that's getting married.
Oh, I know, right?
Oh. You haven't even seen my ring.
Oh, look at that.
- Oh, it's lovely.
Jim designed it.
- How's it going?
Hey. I'm Ryan.
- Jim. Good to meet you.
Thank you, guys, for coming.
It's true, though.
- Yeah, it's crazy.
I got the pictures you asked me to get.
- You can just put them right there.
You got so many of them up there,
I almost didn't have room.
It's so great, everyone just chipped in.
What gave you the idea
to do something so...
Jim has a lot of our nest egg
invested in this real estate venture.
Mm-hm. It's a real estate investment.
but we went over our finances and...
A honeymoon just kinda at this state in the game
doesn't really seem affordable.
So, you know, we just thought,
just because we can't travel
doesn't mean we can't have pictures.
I think that's a fabulous idea.
- Yeah, it's a good one.
The concept is turnkey everything.
You buy a maintenance contract when you
get the home. We'll whack your weeds,
we'll change your light bulbs. Furniture - you can bring
your own or else you can pick one of our beautiful packages.
Seamless traditionalism, yet all the perks.
We all need a place to call our own.
This is America. This is what we were promised.
It's a nice touch.
The bit at the end about the promise.
I like that part.
You uh...you still renting that one bedroom?
- No. I gave it up.
So you own now?
But you're looking?
No, not really.
So you're just good?
- Well, that's good.
Can you believe it's tomorrow?
How are you gonna sleep?
I don't know.
Well, do you want some Xanax?
- I don't think that's for sleeping.
Yeah. No, I think I'll just have
a glass of warm milk.
That would do the trick.
- OK. See you tomorrow.
There's another box inside.
I'll grab it.
- You sure?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jim seems like a good guy.
- Yeah, isn't he great?
He's going to make a great husband.
You know, Julie, I was thinking,
you know, with Dad not being here, um...
I was wondering if you had anybody
to walk you down the aisle.
No, Jim's uncle is gonna do it.
- He's been really supportive.
He's been great.
Well, good. That's great.
I just wanted to make sure that you...
I wanted you to be covered, that's all.
So, I should be there, what?
The other guests are arriving around
five and things get going at five-thirty so...
Oh. Let me...
I'm gonna help you with those.
It's OK. It's OK, it's OK.
None of that was here.
This is all new.
Is that all you got?
Give me a boost.
I took geography in here.
You ever fool around
with one of your teachers?
No. Did you?
- No. Not until college.
That's me on the right.
It's kinda hard to tell.
- You can tell by the eyebrows.
You played basketball?
- I was a point guard. Don't act so surprised.
I didn't know you were such a jock.
That's me too.
My first fight.
- How'd it go?
Got my ass kicked.
This is where we used to go to make out.
- Oh, yes. Yep. This is very romantic.
I'm really happy I came here.
- So am I.
Ryan, where are you?
We're having a meltdown here.
What's going on? What happened?
It's Jim. Can you get back here?
We need your help.
We gotta go.
I'll grab your suit.
- Jim's got cold feet.
- Yeah, that's how cold feet work.
What do you want me to do?
- Talk to him.
You want me to talk to him?
- Hey, it's either you or me.
You know my track record.
I've already struck out once.
I haven't been to bat.
I haven't been in the dugout.
Don't you talk for a living?
Motivational type stuff?
I tell people how to avoid commitment.
What kind of fucked up message is that?
- It's a philosophy.
- It's stupid.
Hey, it could have helped you.
You haven't been around much.
Fuck - basically, you don't exist to us.
I know you wanna be there for her.
Well, here it is. This is your chance.
Hey. What's up, Ryan?
- You ever read this before?
Yeah, it's pretty powerful stuff.
- I'll say.
Uh...Kara mentioned that you were
having some thoughts.
I don't think I'm going to be able to uh...
to do this.
Why would you say that...today?
Well, last night I was just kinda laying
in bed and I couldn't get to sleep.
So I started thinking about the wedding
and the ceremony,
and about our buying a house
and moving in together.
And having a kid,
and having another kid and then
Christmas and Thanksgiving
and spring break.
Going to football games, and then
all of a sudden they're graduating.
They're getting jobs, they're getting married.
And, you know, I'm a grandparent.
And then I'm retired.
I'm losing my hair, I'm getting fat.
And then the next thing you know
I'm just, like...I can't stop from thinking,
what's the point?
I mean, what is the point?
- What am I starting here?
It's one of the most beautiful things on earth.
It's what people aspire to.
You never got married.
- That's true.
I mean, you never even tried.
- Well, it's hard to define try.
I don't know, just you seem happier
than all my married friends.
Look, Jim, I'm not going to lie to you.
Marriage can be a pain in the ass.
And you're kinda right. This all is just stuff
that leads to your eventual demise.
- And we're all on running clocks.
And they can't be slowed down
And...we all end up in the same place.
There is no point.
- There is no point. That's what I'm saying.
You know, uh...
I'm not normally the guy
you would talk to about stuff like this.
If you think about it...
your favorite memories, the most
important moments in your life.
Were you alone?
No, I guess not.
Come to think of it,
last night, the night before your wedding
when all this shit is swirling around in your head,
weren't you guys sleeping in separate bedrooms?
Yeah, Julie went back to the apartment and
I was just by myself in the honeymoon suite.
Kinda lonely, huh?
- Yes, it was pretty lonely.
Life's better with company.
- Everybody needs a co-pilot.
That was a nice touch.
So uh... what's the mood like out there?
- It's not good.
She's pretty pissed?
- Just upset.
What should I do?
Go get her.
I'm such a fuck-up.
I love you so much.
Will you be my co-pilot?
OK, this is your stop.
When am I gonna see you?
- You're just gonna have to come visit.
You're not gonna change on me, are you?
- No. Same guy. Just one address.
This is your final boarding call for
American Airlines Flight 3972 to Chicago.
Right. Call me when you get lonely.
Some guy sits down in a conference room somewhere
and our server routes his session
to one of our termination engineers.
"Termination engineers"? Really?
I preferred "terminators"
but it bumped with Legal.
Can't imagine why.
They follow a workflow that takes them through anything
from a standard dismissal to a violent aggressor.
What are they doing now, practicing?
Beta testing, role-playing.
We go live at the end of the month.
Kyle, you're running through the events
You need to give them time to acknowledge
each statement. Okay? It's a legal thing.
- Mm? Oh. Yeah. There's more?
This is ridiculous.
Legal's starting to come hard
at me on this term "terminate"...
Ladies and gentlemen. Put your hands
together for today's challenge speaker,
Mr Ryan Bingham
Go get 'em.
Last year I flew 350,000 miles.
The moon is 250.
I want you to imagine for a second
that you're carrying a backpack.
I want you to feel the straps
on your shoulders
You feel 'em?
Now I want you to pack it with
all the stuff that you have in your life.
Start with the little things -
the things on shelves and in drawers.
What the fuck are you ...
Relax. We'll have
your next guest out in one sec.
Hey, you gotta sign.
OK, thank you.
Hey, you forgot to give me
your Hertz No.1 Gold Card!
So I was in the neighborhood.
Hey, honey, who's at the door?
- It was just somebody who was lost.
What were you thinking,
showing up at my door like that?
What do you mean? I wanted to see you.
I didn't know you had a family.
Why didn't you tell me that?
Sorry I ruined your evening but you could
have seriously screwed things up for me.
That's my family. That's my real life.
I thought I was a part of your real life.
I thought we signed up
for the same thing.
Try and help me understand exactly
what it is that you signed up for.
I thought our relationship
was perfectly clear. I mean...
you are an escape.
You're a break from our normal lives,
I'm a parenthesis?
what do you want?
Tell me what you want.
You don't even know what you want.
Ryan, I'm a grown-up, OK?
So if you would like to see me again,
then ... then give me a call.
Ladies and gentlemen, we
have a special announcement to make.
Our pilot has just informed me that we
are passing over the city of Dubuque,
which might not mean much to most of you,
but means a lot to one of our flyers today.
- because he just hit 10 million miles!
- Such an amazing accomplishment.
You must be very very excited.
That seat taken?
You're the youngest yet to hit 10 mil.
Don't know where you found the time.
I don't know.
Here you go.
Seventh card we've made.
We really appreciate your loyalty.
You know how many times
I thought about this moment?
Played out the conversation
that you and I would have right here.
What did you want to say?
You know, I don't remember.
That's all right.
It happens to all of us.
Where are you from?
I'm from here.
Hello, Mr Bingham.
How did you know it was me?
This is your dedicated line. We reserve them
for our most loyal and appreciated flyers.
I'd like to transfer some of my miles.
Can I open up an account to Jim and Julie Miller?
Certainly. How many miles
would you like to transfer?
How many miles does it take
to circle the globe?
We have our round-the-world tickets.
They're 500,000 miles each.
That'd be fine.
- Got a second?
I'll call you back.
What the hell happened to you yesterday?
I was trying to get hold of you all day.
I was ... some personal stuff.
What's going on?
Do you remember Karen Barnes,
part of a 30-person reduction
a few weeks back in Wichita?
Natalie fired her.
- Fired dozens of people a day. I...
She killed herself - jumped off a bridge.
I need to know if you remember
any woman that gave you any signals,
- They're all depressed. We're firing them.
Hey, I need to ask you this stuff, OK?
- No, I don't remember anything.
You never think that they're...
You don't remember any woman
that gave you any signals?
Anything at all, Ryan?
- No, nothing stands out.
Is Natalie all right?
- Natalie quit.
- Text message.
Fucking nice, right?
No one's got any manners any more.
Did she say where she was going?
- No. She was a little upset.
I should give her a call.
I need you back in the air.
Hey. Did you hear what I said?
I thought you'd be thrilled about that.
It's fine. What about
CTC is going to pause the new media front.
They're gonna give it some more thought.
We are gonna get our workhorses back
in the air doing what they do best, OK?
How long are you sending me out?
We're gonna let you sail and sail.
You send us a postcard if you ever get there.
So what happened?
How exactly do you mean?
You graduated top of your class.
You seemed to have your pick of
employment, including right here.
Instead you went to Omaha
to fire people for a living?
It's challenging work.
- I'll say!
I can't imagine doing that,
day in, day out.
Not in this climate.
I followed a boy.
I guess everybody does that
at one point or another.
This guy says I'd be lucky to have you.
To whom it may concern.
I can't even count the number
of people I've fired in my lifetime.
So many that I've actually forgotten
what it's like to hire somebody.
We've never met, but I know you'd
be lucky to have Natalie Keener.
Take her and don't look back.
She'll be the best decision
you've made in a long time.
I sure hope he's right.
Well, I don't have a lot of hope,
and I really don't know
when it's gonna get better.
There's a lot of people unemployed.
And I really don't know when there's
gonna be light at the end of the tunnel.
I can't find much to talk about.
Talk about being proud.
I'm proud of my kids.
I think the anger comes from the fact
that I just wasn't needed any more.
I would say, you know, uh...
without my friends and my family,
I wouldn't have made it.
It would have been a lot tougher
if I would have had to make it on my own.
When I wake up in the morning
and I look over and I see my wife,
that gives me the sense of purpose.
It's not all about the money.
Money can keep you warm.
It pays your heating bills.
It can buy you a blanket.
But it doesn't keep you as warm
as when my husband holds me.
Let me get up. Let me get out.
Let me find something.
So my kids are my purpose.
Tonight most people will be welcomed
home by jumping dogs and squealing kids.
Their spouses will ask about their day
and tonight they'll sleep.
The stars will wheel forth
from their daytime hiding places.
And one of those lights,
slightly brighter than the rest,
will be my wing tip passing over.
Hi, Jason. My name is Kevin.
And I recently lost my job.
I wrote this song as sort of
a statement about uncertainty
and having a certain amount of anxiety
about the future.
So maybe you can use it in your movie.