About Schmidt Script - Dialogue Transcript

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About Schmidt Script

Well, for my part.

I would just like to say, Warren, that as the new guy taking over for you -

- I hope I can fill your shoes.

Because from the looks of the people here, -

- and what they think about you, they sure seem awfully big.

Well, as the most of you know, -

- I've just moved here recently from Demoin.

With my wife, Patty here.

And Kimberly are 14 months old, and...

You all have just made us feel so welcome.

And...ah, Warren I want you to feel just as welcome to... -

- drop by the office to visit anytime you want.

In fact, as we've been discussing the last couple of weeks -

- I might have some questions -

- to ask you about our various products.

Like the new universal life policy we're launching next month.


Well anyway here's to you, Warren.

Hey, Warren.

How do you feel about these young punks taking over our jobs?

Seems like some kind of conspiracy to me.

Now I've known Warren here.

Probably longer than most of you people who've been alive.

Warren and I go way back.

Way back... to the horse and buggy days -

- at Woodman, but that's ancient history.

Anyway I know something about retirement.

And what I wanna say... -

- to you out loud, Warren, for all of these young hotshots can hear.

Is that all those gifts over there... -

- don't mean a goddamn thing.

And this dinner doesn't mean a goddamn thing.

And the social security in pension, don't mean a goddamn thing.

None of these superficialities mean a goddamn thing.

What mean something.

What really mean something, Warren.

Is the knowledge that you devoted your life to something meaningful.

To being productive.

And working for a fine company, hell... -

- one of the top rated insurance carriers in the nation.

To raising a fine family.

To building a fine home. To being respective by your community.

To having... wonderful lasting friendships.

At the end of his career the man, can look back and say -

- "I did it. I did my job".

Then he can retire in glory, -

- and enjoy riches far beyond the monitory kind.

So...all of you young people here.

Take a good look... at a very rich man.

I love you, buddy.

Be right back.

Good evening.

- Vodka Gimlet, please. - Coming right up.


Ah...Hi honey.

Yeah, we've just got in. We've just walked in the door.

Yeah, he is. Just a minute.

Warren, it's Jeannie.

Jeannie? How are you doing?

It went just fine, yeah. Nice event.

I know, but...don't give it another though, you've got bigger fish to fry.

I know but... we'll see out there real soon anyway.


Ah...yeah, did I get the rope? Yes.

That was quite an item, you know.

You sure went overboard.

From you and Randall?

I see.

Well...thank you both, it... -

- sure gonna come in handy now.

You bet you.


Yeah, yeah...bye now.

Did you thank Randall?

- I did. - Then what did he say?

- I just told Jeannie. - You didn't thank him personally?

- No. - Why not?

- He didn't come to the phone. - Why not?

I don't know. He didn't come to the phone.

You should have asked for him.

You should make an effort.

He's gonna be your son-in-law and you hardly know him.

I know him well enough.

Then you should try to be more positive.

She's lucky to have him.


You know...

My father didn't think so much of you at first.


Where to, mister? Looks like you need a ride.



Well...I though it would be fun to have breakfast in here today.

You know see what it would be like.


Isn't this fun?

Well...sort of gives the

We're gonna have a lot of good times in here, Warren.


Here's to our whole chapter.

...And we need people who want to help.

- there is a wonderful organization called Child Reach, -

- that is making a profound difference -

- in the lifes of children just like these.

For just $22/month, just 72 cents/day, -

- you can become a Child Reach sponsor -

- and not only personally touch the life -

- of a needy boy or girl overseas.

But also help the child's family and community.

Think of it, just $22/month, -

- and a little girl like this, -

- will never feel the agony of dysentery from dirty water.

A child like this will be able to go to school, -

- to learn and grow.

I'm so glad you've watched, -

- but now that you've have. What are you going to do?

No. Pity and guild won't help.

The answer is Child Reach.

For a needy child, family and community overseas.

Well, I'm glad that you are glad.


No, no...you're butting me up now.

Well, I can't take all the credit for that.

No, no I...

I...I did use a calculator.

That's... that's my motto.

Alrighty. Bye bye.

Hey! There he is!

- What do you sing, partner? - Pretty good. Pretty good.

- How are you doing? - Not too shabby.

- Well, I see you're all moved in. - Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

So what brings you by?

Oh, I was just driving by.

I thought I'd pop up and see what kind of trouble you'd been getting into.

Oh, you know, keeping busy. Keeping busy.

And I'd wanna make sure that you didn't have questions about -

- those preteen mortality risk models that I was working on.

You know, I know they seem pretty straightforward at first, but...

No, no, I think I've got a pretty good handle on things.

You did a super job of handing everything over, just super.

Smooth sailing all the way.

Because, I have been concerned about some of those items -

- that I walked you through slipping through the cracks.

You know, it's kind of been nagging at me.


Heck, the business degree from Drake gotta be worth something.

- Yeah. - Oh, boy.

Well, you know, if anything bubbles to the surface, Warren, I'll be sure to give you a call.

You can bet on that!

I gotta get to a meeting.

You wanna take the elevator down with me?

- Okay, sure. - Great. Great to see you.

- Looking good. - Thank you.

You've been working out?


How'd it go at the office?

Oh, fine.

Good thing I stopped by.

Turns out that he needed by help with a couple of loose ends.

That's wonderful.

Dear Ndugu,

My name is Warren R. Schmidt.

And I'm your new foster father.

...personal information.

All right.

I live in Omaha, Nebraska.

My older brother Harry lives in Roanoke, Virginia with his wife Estelle.

Harry lost a leg two years ago to diabetes.

I am 66 years old and recently retired, -

- as assistant vice-president -

- Woodman of the World insurance company.

And goddamnit if they didn't replace me some kid who...all right.

So maybe he's got a little theory under his belt, -

- and can plug a few numbers into a computer.

But I can tell right off, that he doesn't know a damn thing -

- about genuine real-world risk assessment, -

- or managing a department for that matter. Cocky bastard!


66 must sound pretty old to a young fellow like yourself.

The truth is... it sounds pretty old to me too.

Because when I look in the mirror and see the wrinkles around my eyes -

- and the saggy skin on my neck -

- and the hair in my ears and the veins on my ancles, -

- I...I can't belive it's really me.

When I was a kid.

I used to think that maybe I was special, -

- that somehow destiny tagged me to be a great man.

Not like...Henry Ford or Walt Disney or somebody like that, -

- but...somebody, you know...semi-important.

I got a degree in business and statistics -

- and was planning to start my business someday, -

- build it up into a big corporation.

Watch it go public, you know, -

- maybe make the Fortune 500.

I was gonna be one of those guys you read about.

But, somehow... -

- it just didn't... work out that way.

You gotta remember I had a topnotch job at Woodman, -

- and...a family to support.

I couldn't exactly put their security and risk.

Helen...that's my wife.

She wouldn't have allowed it.

But what about my family, you might ask.

What about my wife, and daughter?

Don't they give all the pride and satisfaction I could ever want?

Helen and I have been married 42 years.

Lately...every night.

I find myself asking the same question:

Who is this old woman who lives in my house?

Why is it that every little thing she does irritates me?

Like the way she gets the keys out of her purse -

- long before we reach the car.

And how she throws our money away on her ridiculous little collections.

And tossing out perfectly good food, -

- just because the expiration date is past.

And her obsession...her obsession with trying new restaurants.

Seafood Buffet. Let's go there sunday.

And the way she cuts me off when I try to speak.

And she goes ahead and seats the people that came in behind us.

- Well, the thing... - But normally I wouldn't mind if...

And I hate the ways she sits.

And the way she smells.

For years now. She has insisted that I sit when I urinate.

My promise to lift the seat, and wipe the rim and put the seat back down -

- wasn't good enough for her.


But then there is...


She's our only.

I'll bet she'd like you, she gets a big kick out of different languages, -

- and cultures and soforth.

She used to get by pretty good in German.

She'll always be my little girl.

She lives out in Denver, so... we don't get to see her much anymore.

Oh, sure we stay in touch by phone every couple of weeks. And...

She comes out for the holidays sometimes, but...

Not as often as we'd like.

She has a position and some responsibility out there -

- with a high tech computer-outfit, so it's -

- very hard for her to break away.

Recently... she got engaged, so I...

I suppose we'll be seeing even less of her now.

The fellow's name is... Randall Hertzel.

He's got a salesjob of some sort.

Maybe Jeannie is a little past of prime, -

- but I still think she could have done a heck of a lot better.

How are you guys doing? I mean this guy is not up to snuff, -

- if you ask me I mean not for my little girl.

I'll close now and get this in the mail.

Here I am rambling on and on -

- and you probably wanna hurry on down cash that cheque, -

- and get yourself something to eat.

So...take it easy and... -

- best of luck with all your endeavours.

Yours Very Truly, Warren Schmidt.


I'm going out to mail a letter, do you need anything?

No. Don't dilly-dally.

What can I get for ya?

I'll have a... blizzard with vanilla ice cream.

What would you like in it?

Um...I'll have some...

Reese's Pieces and some...

Cookie Dough.

- And what size? - Um...medium.



What's the matter. Honey?


Before we go any further, Warren, -

- I want to just go over some of the expenses with you.

What we do is we atomize all of our charges, and break them down to different categories.

Our professional services, embalming and other preparations of bodies.

Those figures will total up to about $1550.

And for the use of our facilities and equipment, -

- staff for the visitations at the funeral-service.

In addition we have some other expenses out at the cementary...

...A total about 1500...

...In addition to that we also have the caskets...to a total up to 2700...

...Finally for use for automobiles and adressing services...$430.

Any questions or anything about that?

What if I drive myself?

I wanna tell you about anger. That anger is okay.

God can handle it, if we're angry at him.

And I'll tell you why...

Nine years ago...


We're gonna miss Helen so much.

She was the greatest, just the sweetest, warmest, most wonderful...

I know. I know.

We're praying for you Warren.

If there's anything you need, you call us, okay?

- Okay. - Okay?

- Okay. - Okay, really now?

- Yeah. - All right.

I can't belive it, Warren, I still can't believe it.

I know, Ray. I know.

She was just...

She was too young.

She was just so...

Yeah, I know, Ray. I...thank you.

You're good friend, Ray.

- You take care of yourself, Warren. - You too, Ray.

Thanks for everything.

I'll see you real soon.

Nice of people to bring all this food.

All these coldcuts.

There gonna be a lot of left-overs.

Oh, daddy.

Oh, Jeannie.

She was a... very special lady.

I'm really gonna miss her. I miss her already.

I know we all do.

Let's drink to her.

Here's to Helen.

They broke the mold.

They broke the mold.


We love you. We miss you.

We always will.

How are you doing?

You doing okay?

- Fine. - Sure?


Must be really tough.

I remember when my aunt died.

It was so unreal, it was the 4th of july.

I'll never forget it.

So, listen, Warren.

I know now is definitely not the time to talk about it, but...

Before we leave, you wanna take a few minutes?

Take you mind off all this... crazyness?

There's something real important I wanna talk to you about.

What's that?

It is an investment opportunity, it's really exciting -

- and I wanna get you in on the ground floor with me.


And it's not a pyramid scheme. Alot of people thinks it is a pyramid scheme.

But it's not.

It's almost guaranteed you can double your money, -

- maybe even triple it in the first year alone.

The thing is, Warren.

I'm not gonna be selling waterbeds forever.

I've got plans.

We haven't had much chance to talk about it you and I, but...

I've got a pretty good business-head on me.

You know, I've been going to alot of seminaries lately and listen to...

- Mayonnaise or mustard? - I like both.


And don't toast the bread too much, I don't like my bread very toasted.

And I'll have some of those barbecue potato chips, -

- not the plain ones.

Those are your mother's, the barbecue ones are mine.

In fact...you and Randall can take those plain ones, -

- they'll just go to waste here, I won't eat 'em.

Maybe you can eat them on the plane.


So good to see ya.

I sure wish you didn't have to get back so soon.

Can't you take a few days more?

Couldn't you just to 'em at work? I mean...they'd understand.


Who's gonna take care of me?

- Here's your sandwich. - Ah, wonderful. Just wonderful.

You know, dad.

You're gonna have to get used to taking care of yourself now.

I know. I know.

You might have to hire a maid.

A maid?

Oh, no. I'll be your aid, I don't need the extra expense.

At least for a few weeks. While your dealing with this.

Well, that's why I'm asking you to stay and help me out.

Dad, I told you.

I wish I could. But I can't.

I've got too much going on.

And even if I could get more time off.

I've got the wedding, that's a full time job.

Now that you mention it, honey, I... -

- think you should... consider postponing it.

Postpone the wedding?

We can't do that, it's all set.

I'm just saying you might wanna take this opportunity to...re-think things.

That's all.

But...everyone's invited, and RSVP'd and everything.

They'd understand, I mean...

Out of respect for your mother.

She would have approved.

Mom wouldn't want us to change anything.

The thing is, Jeannie...

Your mother and I...spoke a number of times very seriously about you and Randall.

And what did she say?

Just that she loved you and she wanted you to be very happy, and... -

Maybe this thing with Randall, well...

She just...wanted to be sure you weren't gonna have any regrets, that's all.

So you might wanna... keep your options open.

But she helped us pick the date.

And I was on the phone with her almost every day, -

- planning it, and ordering things.

I really don't know what you are talking about.

I don't think mom would want us to change...

All right. All right. Okay, have it your way, you know best, you and your mother.

Good sandwich.


Why did you get such a cheap casket?


I could tell you got the cheapest casket.

Everybody could.

That is not true.

That is not true!

I specifically did not choose as you say, the cheapest casket.

There was one less expensive, which they showed me and I refused it.

You mean a pinebox?

I don't remember what it was.

She waited on your hand and foot.

Couldn't you have splurged on her just once?

- Hey, hey, hey! - Once?

What are you talking about?

What about the windowed bagel out there ? What do you call that ?

That is an expensive vehicle.

I didn't want to get it, but I did.

That was completely your mother's idea.

She told me, she had to pay for like half of it !

She said she had to sell some of her stock or something to pay for it.

That was her decision !

I was willing to go as far as the mini weny but no, she had to have the Adventurer.

She wanted the whole shebang

What was I supposed to do ?

Tell her she couldn't ?

It was her money.

No, no, no. You can't call me to task on that one.

ln here, Randall.

- Where? - In here, in here

Oh there you are.

13 minutes wrong. You better get packed.

Hey Randall did you tell dad about that book?

That's right, I forgot.

Heu say Warren, have you read -

- When Bad Things Happen to Good People?


It's really amazing, it reallly help me out when my aunt die.

You should read it.

When we and jeannie get back to Denver, I'll send you my copy.

The workbook too, I did most of the exercises, -

- but you can write yours answers next to mine.

So long, Randall.

You'll be in our prayers, and i call you about that thing, ok ?

Okay, thank you.

Oh, Ginny.

Take care of yourself, Dad

That's a good one, it's going to be really a great shot.

Bye Dad.

So long, Ginny.

See you in a few weeks.


Bye, Warren, you take care.

Dear N'dugu,

I hope you're sitting down, because...

- I'm afraid l got some bad news.

Since I last wrote to you, -

- my wife, Helen your foster mother, -

- passed away very suddenly from a blood clod in her brain.

The services were lovely and very well attended...

- Ginny came in from Denver with her friend, -

- folks drove up from as far away as Desmoines in Wichita, -

- a very moving tribute any way you look at it. I...

I wish you've could have been there.

but now that all this excitement is over, -

- and the smoke is clear, it's...

- just me and my thoughts knocking around...

- in this big old house.

I believe I mentioned in my previous letter -

- that I was an actuary.

- a woodman of the world insurance company.

lf I'm given a man's age race, profession, -

- place of residence, -

- marital status and medical history.

I can calculate with great probability, -

- how long that man will live.

In my own case now that my wife has died, -

- there is a 73% chance, that I will die within 9 years, -

- provided that I do not remarry.

All I know is, -

- I've got to make best of whatever time I have left.

Life is short, Ndugu.

I can't afford to waste another minute.

Two weeks later

Now, i don't want to inquiet you but...

- adjusting a life without Helen, has been quite a challenge, -

- but I think you'll be proud of me

Yeah, this house is under new management, -

- but you never know the difference

Sure sometimes I can be a tight forgetful, -

- missing a meal or two, -

I guess that's hardly worth mentioning it -

- to someone in your situation.

Helen wouldn't want me sitting around wallowing in self-pity, -

- no sorry, bob, -

- but she'd tell me to shape up or ship out !

So I try to get out as much i can.

You know, try to stay active, stick to my routine.

That's very important in phase of big changes in life.

Sure I am not quite the cook Helen was, -

- but I remember a trick or too from my bachelor days.

It's a lot of work keeping household together.

I supposed enventually I'll sell the place and move to a little condo, -

-you know less upkeep and so far.

But for now, I am getting by just fine.

It occured to me that in my last letter, I might have misspoken, -

- used some negative language in reference to my late wife, -

- but you have to understand that

I was under a lot of pressure, following my retirement.

I'm not going to lie to you, Ndugu.

It's been a rough few weeks.

I've been pretty, you know... broken up from time to time.

I miss her.

I miss my Helen.

I guess I just didn't know how lucky I was, -

- to have a wife like Helen, -

- until she was... gone.

Remember that, young man, -

- you've got to appreciate what you have, -

- while you still have it.

Jesus Warren, you scare me, what are you doing?

I thought you might want these back ?

That was so long ago 25, 30 years... I mean...

I never thought... she kept these.

I can't believe she kept these.

- Let's talk about this ! - You were my friend.

It was a big mistake.

I mean you went up to San Francisco, and things started up...

I am sorry !

You have reached Moon Dog Electronics...

Shipping and receiving, this is Ginny.

Ginny ? It's Dad How are you ?

Hey, I am totally swamped out What's up?

Well I have a big surprise for you.

- Guess what? - What?

I am on the road, i'm on my way out to see you !

Right now I am just outside Grand Island.

Dad, what do you talking about?

Ginny, I've been thinking about things

How much you mean to me...

- and how little time you and I have spent together these last few years,

- all of a sudden, I realized what the heck am I doing in Omaha -

- when you are out there, and i could be with you !

We should be together.


You are coming now?

If I drive straight through, -

- I'll be there in time for supper.

Gosh, I don't think so dad, this is not a good idea.

Sure it is.

Don't tell me you couldn't use a little extra help with all those wedding arrangements.

I'll help to take the burden off.

The thing is that, Roberta and I and Jill we've pretty much got everything under control.

It's such a nice offer, but let's stick to plan.

you get here a day or two before the wedding -

- like we said.

I assume you won't object me -

- sending any more of those checks.

Dad, I do not have time for this.

you call me when you get home, okay?


- Bye, Ginny - Bye, Dad

Dear Ndugu,

How are you ?

I am fine.

A week or so ago, I decided to take a little road trip on my way to Ginny's -

- wedding out in Denver.

Ginny begged me to come out early, -

- to help her with wedding arrangements, but...

I told her I needed some time to myself.

I've decided to visits some places, l haven't been to in a long time.

So much has happened to my life, that I can't remember.

Whole sections of my life that they're just... gone.

So you might say I've been trying to clear a few cobwebs for my memory.

My first stop was none other than Holdrege, Nebraska.

I thought it would be in delighting to visit the house, where i was born 67 years ago.

We moved away from Holdrege, when i was not much older than you and...

I often wonder what our old house would be like today.

Funny, -

- i never forget the address.

12 Logus Avenue... -

- yes sir, 12 Logus Avenue.

Can I help you, sir ?

No thanks, I am just looking around.

I used to live here.

Here in the store ?


My childhood home's, right on the spot.

The bedroom would be right about here, -

- living room over here, and the dining...


that was long time ago, before you were born.

You're not going to believe this, -

- we used to have tire swing, right out front here.

Awful lot had change since my day but...

It was still good to be home again, -

- very good indeed

Next stop, Florence Kansas.

Where I pay the visit to my old mother KU.

I haven't been there in years and years.

Now it's seems like the perfect time to stop by.

I even manage to hook up with some kids in my old fraternity.

Beta Sigma Epsilon

... as the Woodman clears the way...

Well, Ndugu.

I highly recommended you pledge a fraternity, -

- when you go to college.

After that little walk down Memory Lane, -

- it was tourist time, for yours truly.

I made my way back to Nebraska.

- and stop in the custody historical museum in Brokenbow, -

- to see their fine collection of arrowheads.

Later that same day, -

- i happend to met a real lndian, or "Native American" -

- as they like to be called in nowadays.

We had nice chat about history of the area.

He really opened my eyes.

These people got a rough deal, just a rough deal.

Next stop, Buffalo Bill's cody house in North Plate.

What a remarkable man, -

- you can read about him in enclosed pamphlet.

I pull the adventurer over, -

whenever I feel like stretching my legs -

- taking a local sight or purchasing for antics.

The other day for example, at an antique store in Cosade.

I came across a fine collection of rare hummels.

I guess I never really appreciated how exclusively crafty they are.

And each one comes with its own certificate of authenticity.

Helen loved hummels.

Hoy there !

Yes ?

I said "hoy".

Hoy yourself.

John Brasco, Clare, Wisconsin.

Warren Schmidt, Omaha.

I hope I am not disturbing you, but,

I couldn't help noticing you got the new Adventurer.

- That's right. - 35 footer, right ?

That's right.

What a beauty, ah, man oh man...

Yeah... I'm pretty happy with it.

I wish I made a step aboard, captain.

How's that ?

Can I take a look inside ?

Oh sure, help yourself.

Thank you.

Aw, yeah, Jesus.

Look at all this room.

These puppa make the difference, don't they ?

You keep a mighty clean gally, Mister.

Oh I've only been on the road a week.

You're kidding, this is your made the voyage ?


- You've been traveling "solo" ? - That's right.

Holy crash, you've got to come over for dinner. We got to celebrate.

My Vicky's one egg of a cook. I mean, if you are free of course.

Well, I have to check my schedule?

Hoy there.


Get yourself up here.

- I am Vicky Brasco. - Warren Schmidt.

John was so excited to meet you.

Oh God, you shouldn't have.

Smells delicious.

- I hope you like the stew. - Oh ya.

Hey there he is !

- How are you ? - Good, good, can I take your jacket ?


Here we go.

Something burning ?

Oh No, no, no. I've just burnt a couple of matches out there.

Shall we join to the living room ? While Vicky...

...you're almost, aren't you ? Oh just about.

- John, Warren brought us beer. - Aw thank you Warren.

Have a seat

Right here, you take that.


So, uh... what do you do back in Auclair ?

Well, my brother and I, we have a shoe store.

Ya, it's a famous footwear.

And uh...

Well, people will always need shoes.

Vicky, she's now a professional therapist.

So, that's her day job, we might say.

How about yourself ?

Oh uh, I was in the insurance game but, -

- I am retired now.

Okay boys, dinner is served.

No these, this is a couple we met in Kansas

- remember I was telling you about the guy with a wooden leg ?

But we loved them, -

- we spent a whole week end with them in Kansas.

And this is Roger and Denise, and their daughters.

Now, Denise is your oldest ?

She is the middle one, they lived out in Delaware.

And these little cuties are Kitty and Slaun.

A girl named Slaun, I've never heard that name before.

Neither have we.

Do you have any pictures of your daughter with you ?


Not on me, I don't...

Nothing in your wallet ?


I might have one of George Washington right now, -

- or even a Lincoln.

Who ?

Easy... we are... low on truth serum here.

lf I go get us another 6 pack, you guys will be okay ?

- Yes. - Oh yes.

I leave you. I'll be back when I've left.

Here's a little... here's a little car we got them for Christmas, isn't that cute ?

- Oh it's Adorable - The little adorable dresses, -

- and these are christening dresses.

That's a quiet family you got there,

- you and John are very lucky - Oh I know we really are.

We are.


would you mind if l made an observation ?


Well, you put a pretty good face on things, -

- considering everything you've been through lately.

And I know, I've just met you, -

- but, I have good instinct about people and, -

- the feeling that I get from you is that, -

- despite your good attitude, and your...

your positive outlook, -

- i think inside, you're a sad man.


It does take quite an adjustment there, when you lose a spouse.

Oh ya but there's something more than that, -

- I see something more than grief and loss and use...

something deeper.

Like what ?

I just met you but, -

- my guess is anger.

Yeah, anger and...

I don't know maybe...

fear, -

- loneliness.


I am kind of lonely.

See there, I knew it.

Can I tell you something ?

I am listening.

I've only know you for... an hour or so, -

- and yet, I feel like you understand me, -

- better than my wife Helen ever did.

Even after 42 years of marriage.

42 years.

Maybe if I had met someone like you earlier...

Oh you sad man...

You sad, sad man.

You sad man.

Get off me, are you insane ?

God, what is wrong with you ?

Oh, what kind of issues you've got mister, but you better go right now.

- I'm sorry. - No, no, go !

- I didn't... no i'm sorry... - I don't care about sorry ! Go !

- I didn't mean this... - Go !

- Can I have my jacket ? - Christ.

Go !

Ray ?

It's Warren.

I Know we separated on a... bit of a sour note.

But I just... thought I should call and tell you that, -

I've been doing some thinking and, some soul-searching.

I just... want to... tell you that I am willing to talk about this, -

- because whole the things...

If you are satisfied with your message press one, -

- to listen to your message press two to erase and re-record press three, -

- To continue recording...

Message erased.

At the tone please re-record the message at the end of your message press one.

Helen ?

What did you really think of me ?

Deep in your heart.

Was I... really the man you want to be with ?

Was I ?

Or will you disappointed... too nice to show it.

I forgive you for Ray.

I forgive you.

That was a long time ago and...

I know I wasn't always the... king of kings.

I let you down.

I'm sorry, Helen.

Can you forgive me ?

Can you forgive me ?

And so, Ndugu.

I must say it's been a very rewarding trip.

And this morning, -

- I woke from my night in the wildernest completely transformed.

I am like a new man.

For the first time in years I feel clear.

I know what I want.

I know what I have got to do, -

- and nothing is going to stop me ever again.

Meanwhile along with usual check, -

- I'm enclosing a little something extra to spende as you please.

Yours very truly.

Warren... Schmidt.

Warren, how grand to see you again.

Well, I hope I am not intruding.

Not at all I was happy to get your call, -

- and learn that you were finally in town.

I bet that trip did you a lot of good after all you been through.

I sent you a card did you get my card ?

Oh yes !

Lovely card, thank you.

But I want to say to you in person.

I am so sorry about Helen.

I only met her than once, -

- but we talk often on the phone after the engagement.

She was a fine fine woman.

A fine fine human being.

Thank you.

So... what can I get you to drink, I bet could use a cocktail ?

No, I am fine.

I'll just wait till the kids get here.

Well I'm having a Manhattan.

Well, what the heck, make it 2.


That's better.

This last week has been so stressful.

The only way that Helen is lucky, -

and I do mean the only way, -

- is that she didn't have to go through this week with Jeannie and me, -

- The florist, the dress, the relatives, the travel arrangements, -

- the motels, the bridesmaids, the groom's man, the gowns.

And you realize how many people still have not RSVPed ?

Warren, it simply does not stop, -

- by the way, -

- we do still need that check for the church.

Did Ginny mention it to you ? (fo se mettre d'accord sur Ginny :D ntdr)

Because we've need it for some time now, -

- and actually it's been a bit of a problem.

Roberta ?

Roberta ?

What ?

I can't make this godamn thing work, -

- somebody, really screwed it up !

Would you excuse me ?

What is your fucking problem ?

Don't you get enough with children ?

Well that's why I offered to come over and help.

You know, I am trying to help.

This is no count I think, look at it.

What are you expecting to do now ?

I'll.. I'll fix it, but you have to tell me how you want it. I'm not a mindreader.

I'll do it myself, fuckin have to found someone else around here just get out!

I'm not a mindreader, ok ? I'm not a mindreader !

Do you understand english ? Get out !

I am sorry.

Have you met Larry last time?

Just briefly, yeah.

He's like a little boy.

I ever since our divorce he thinks the only way, -

- he can get my attention is by causing a fuss.

I understand that I do, it just...

I feel sorry for him.

My first husband was exactly the same way, -

- he turned out to be a real asshole.

Now Randall... he knows how to treat a woman.

Honestly don't you think he's something special ?

Well, hum...

I know Jeannie seems to be very taken with him.

Well, that always help doesn't it ?

When I had my hysterectomy, -

- that boy did not leave my side for one minute.

Not one minute !

People used to raise their eyebrows, -

- because I breast fed him till he was almost 5.

And I say, well... you just look at the results.

I've raised a sensitive devoted boy, -

who has turn into a sensitive devoted man.

And he's also quite easy on the eye.

I do say so myself.

Don't you agree ?

Oh, look who's here.

Dad, how's it hanging ?

Fine, fine.

You're finally here, I'm stoked.

Hi Mum.

Ho God, how was your trip ? I was a little worried.

Oh well, just great yeah.

But... I did run into a lot of traffic in the town this afternoon.

I ended up and after 25 and the 70

I wasn't any better.

I guess it must have been, -

- construction or an accident or something.

Oh that's Denver for you.

No you won't catch me driving on the interstate.

What you want to do next time is get off 25 at Spear, -

and take a left that will turn in the first ?? directly

- to Gaylord - Gaylord.

That's good to know.

Here Randall, bring that to the kitchen.

Jeannie, I need to talk to you about something.

Sure, Dad, hum can it wait?

It's very important.

I need some time alone with you.

Definitely, maybe after dinner.

Say, Randall ?

How that investment situation work out for you ?

You never call me.

Don't bring that up.

You mean that pyramid scheme ?

No, it wasn't.

All I know is I lost 800 bucks.

Well, if you'd stuck with a little longer, -

- you would've seen the results.

You abandon too soon.

Can we change the subject please ?

See you just didn't find enough quality resps of your own, -

- and you screwed the all thing up for me too.

You didn't take time to understand, -

- how the power system works :

"principle, ownership, wealth"

As a father of the groom, -

- I'd like to welcome our guest.

- Soustitre non traduit -

you're going to have plenty of chance tomorrow

Would you let me finish please ?

Can't we just enjoy our food ?

Okay, enjoy your food, -

- but I have something, I want to say

Anyway, I just want to acknowledge that -

- we are gathered together, around this table -

- as a family, for the very first time.

On behalf of Sandra and myself, -

- I want to welcome Warren, -

- who has journeyed a very long way to be with us here tonight.

And Warren...

We really really love Ginny very very much.

I also want to say how proud I am...

Larry, Larry... -

- you are embarrassing yourself.

You are embarrassing me.

- You are embarrassing Sandra - No, he's not

Sandra, please ?

Anyway, I am done.

You are interrupting me, I am already done.

Why do you have to spoil a perfectly enjoyable evening?

Why do you always do this ?

Why do you have to be so negative ?

I am not negative.

You just try to grab all the attention.

I'm not negative...that's not negative ?

All I was doing... was welcoming somebody into the family.

Larry, we've been welcomed by you, -

- thank you so much.

Now would you please drink your fucking milk, and shut the fuck up?

Get some rest.

- See you tomorrow. - See you tomorrow.

- Warren. - Larry.

Have a nice sleep.

Very Nice to meet you.

- Ginny. - Yeah ?

I still want to talk to you.

Oh, yeah, right

Well can it wait?

Because we've got a really big day (ou) date tomorrow.

No, it can't.

Take your time, I'll get the car further.

- Good night Warren. - Good night.

What's up ?

You are making a big mistake.

Don't marry this guy. Don't do it.

What are you talking about ?

The other night, I had a dream and -

- It was very real, your mother was there, -

-and you were there and your aunt Estelle.

And there was a... it wasn't really a spacehip, -

- it was more like a blimp or an orb of some kind.

- and then a bunch of weird creatures came out, -

- and sort to trying to take you away.

And you wanna know what ?

They all look like Randall.

Do you understand ?

And I was jumping up trying to save you...

Ok... dad, it's okay.

You're just wigging out a little and...

Mom is not here to calm you down so...

No, this isn't like that.

I am begging you not to marry Randall !

This guy is not up to snuf. He's not in your league.

I can't let this happen. I will not allow it.

I mean look at these people...

All of a sudden you're taking interest in what I do?

You have opinion about my life now?

Okay, you listen to me.

I am getting married, the day after tomorrow and...

You are going to come to my wedding, -

- and you are going to sit there, and enjoy it, and support me, -

- or else you can just turn right around right now, -

- and go back to Omaha.

You come right back here !

I am talking to you young lady !

Good morning, Mr Sleepy Head...

Warren, what's the matter?

Oh, I'm fine, -

- just a little stiff in my neck.

I'm okay.

Did you fall out of bed?

- Let me help you. - No, no.

I think I'm better off on hard surface.

I don't know

It just seems pretty weird for this to be happening today, off all days.

I'm sorry, Ginny.

I'm sure I just need a couple of hours, the Advil is kicking me pretty good.

You know it's just a... we've been really stressed out here the last two weeks

While you were... you know, out on your little trip.

We've been kind of just barely holding this thing together.

And so now for you to just crap out on us.

I think it's the bed.

No way.

That's an 'aquabed' Z 9000 It's top of the line.

- It's definitely not the bed. - I don't know.

I think I need something firmer.

Alright, fine, let's just deal with this, ok ?

Dad, where is that receipt that I gave you ?

Receipt ?

Yeah, for the programs at the printers you were going to pick up.

- It's over there. - Where ?

- On the chair, in my jacket... - Fine, allright... -

- Well I guess now Randall you're gonna have to pick'em up.

What do you mean ? I don't think so, -

- I got to go get Bryan and dave at the airport...

I can't do everything, Randall.

I cannot do everything !

I know.

Get off me !

I'll do it... Thanks for everything, Dad.

- Ginny ? - Fuck you !

Anybody hungry ?

I could eat a horse.

How about some chicken noodle soup ?


Anything for me in bedpan ?


Ginny told us all about your little panic attack last night.

And I don't blame you.

It's a perfectly natural reaction.

In the beginning I had my own reservations.

You know, as the veteran of 2 failed marriages

I have learned a lot about what works, -

- and does not work between 2 people

And I can tell you, these kids are in very good shape.

They have a very healthy relationship, -

- spiritually, emotionally and physically.


You already know how... famously they get along as friends, but...

Did you know, that their sex life is positively wild hot ?

The main reason both my marriage has failed, was sexual.

And I am an extremely sexual person. I can't help it.

I just know I'm wired. I mean... you kwow even when I was little girl, -

- I had my first orgasm when I was six...

- in ballet class.

Anyway the point is...That I have always been very easily aroused and very orgasmic.

Ginny and I, have a lot in common that way.

Clifford and Larry, you know are nice guys but...

They just could not keep up with me.

Anyway, I don't wanna... betray Ginny's confidence.

But... let me just assure you, -

- that whatever problems those 2 Kids may running to along the way, -

- they will always be able to count on what happens between the sheets.

To keep them together.

More soup ?

Hem... No

I think I am fine now.

How are we doing ?

Just handy. A couple more Advil, and i'll do it.

No, you look like you need something stronger. Give me a second

I have these left over from my hysterectomy.

They have expired, -

- but I think it's okay.

What is it ?


I guarantee you that In half an hour you'll be on cloud nine.

Ok folks following the procession

I'm gonna have the... the bride and the groom, accompany me, -

- and I like the... euh best man and the maid of honor to follow closely all right ?

But hem... Don't forget to leave the bride and groom hem... space.

They need room to maneuver you know...

And the Father of bride, Mr Schmidt, -

- will have seat in the front row right there.

All right ?

Mr Schmidt ?

Mr Schmidt ?

You wanna go ahead and take your seat in front row right there ? Please ?

If I could be provided a personal note...

I... I learned about love from my parents.

Two extraordinary people who were married 62 years...

and They're here... right here in this room tonight.

I can feel them.

Hello Mom, hi Pap.

I miss you. And I... I love you...

and... I know every time I look at Randall and Ginnie...

I just think... Randall's hands and mine are a lot alike and, Ginny's hands are...

Well you've seem to have come around pretty good there Warren.

That stuff you gave me, waow !

You've got to write the name of that damn for me. It really does the trick.

I Know what really get you out of woods.

As soon as we get home, I'm gonna fire up the hot tub.

And You're gonna take a long soak before bed.

And sleep like a baby.

Tomorrow you'll be good as new.

How does it feel ?

This is incredible.

I had no idea. It's indescribable

Didn't I tell you ? Didn't I tell you ?

Mind if I join you ?

Oh, That's better

Oh what a night. I was very moved

I mean I've been so stressed these Last few weeks that I...

kind of lost of sight at the fact that my little boy's getting married, -

- so as your little girl.

When you think about it from the day they're born and... now it's here.

It's a miracle.

Just think, after tomorrow we all be one big family.

And I'm going to insist that you consider this is your 2nd home.

I'll set up place few with the table for ThanKsgiving and for Christmas

Oh and we don't give traditional gifts at Christmas.

We make them. We are a very creative family.

lt can be a painting, or a poem, or a song.

Whatever inspires you.

And of course it goes without saying you'd come with us to a time share at the Braken Ranch.

It'll just be you and me when all the kids are out on the sloaps.

Here we are... a divorcee and widower.

Sounds like a perfect match to me.

What's the matter ?

I have to go to bed now.

Just like that ?

Come on we were having such nice talk.

l'm all on talked out. Thank you, Roberta.

Good night.

Let us pray.

Dear heavenly father, our hearts are fill with -

- great happiness for the union of Randall and Ginny.

Love is patient, love is kind.

Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way...

...I shall love you everyday of my life.

And when I say everyday I mean every day.

When I say day I mean all 24 hours, -

- all 1 440 minutes,

- all 86400 seconds.

When a man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home,

they should travel long to...

Do you Randall Meat Hertzel, -

taKe Ginny Bordwine Schmidt as your lawful wedded wife ?

I do.

And do you Ginny Bordwine Schmidt, -

taKe Randall Meat Hertzel to be your lawful wedded husband ?

I do.


I now pronounce you husband and wife.

I can tell there's some difference in his voice...

and remember Randy you call me up...

and...he says, hum... Dennis

I met this girl last night and hum...

this might sounds a little weird come from me

but hum...

- this is one chick, -

- I might actually want to see again.

And he told me about your other stuff, which i am not really the liberty to go into... right now.

What was in his voice 2 years ago, -

- was confirmed here today.

I mean you guys are just a great couple... and...

you both really helped me through that thing, couple months ago.

And I'll never forget.

I love you guys. I love you guys.

Randall and Jeannie forever.

Oysters, let's go.

Come on a little smooch, come on a little smooch.

Come on, these people paid good money.

Oh, there is children here.

Now I like to turn things over, -

- to the...do you want us to leave or...

I like to turn things over, -

- to the proud father of the bride.

Mr Warren Schmidt.

I didn't get much sleep last night so, -

- forgive me if I am a little foggy.

But you know.... today is a special day.

We are here to mark a crossroad in lives of 2 people.

A crossroad where they come together and now walk along a new road, -

- not same road they were on before, -

- it's new road... a road that...

As many of you know, I lost my wife recently...

and Jeannie lost her mother.

Helen and I were married 42 years.

She died very suddenly.

I know we owe she could be with us today.

And i think it would be appropriate to acknowledge just how...

pleased she was that Jeannie had found someone to share her life with...

a companion, a partner.

I recall the day, when Jeannie first told us that she's been proposed to.

We hadn't yet met this Randall fellows, -

- so we were understandly, a little suspicious.

Later she brought him home for Christmas, -

- so we can get a look at him.

I remember there was a big snow storm, -

- and Randall, here, helped me shovel off the front walkie, pitch straight in.

That brings me to what I really want to say.

What I want to say, what i really want to say is...

thank you, to you Randall, -

- for taking such good care of my daughter, -

- especially recently, with her loss.

Ever since I arrived here couple of days ago, -

- I have so enjoy getting to know Jeannie's new family...


Thank you for your generousity...

for opening your home, -

- your talent in the Kitchen is...

Larry, your wonderful eloquence.

Sandra, your skill with handicraft -

- is truly remarKable, -

- that item that you showed me, was so very artistic.

Duncan, I haven't got to know you very well, -

- but i cant tell from our brieve conversation, -

- that you are a very thoughtful young man.

Everybody else, terrific people.

In conclusion, -

I just want to say on this special day, on this very special day, -

- that I am very... pleased.

You are here !

Dear Ndugu,

- you'll be glad to know that Jeannie's wedding came off without a hitch.

Right now, she and Randall are on their way to sunny Orlando, -

- on my nickle, of course.

As for me, I'm headed back to Omaha.

I'm driving straight through this time, and I've made only one stop.

The impressive new archer over the interstate in Corney, Nebraska.

An arch that commemorates the courage and determination of -

- the pionneers who cross the state on their way west.

You've really got to see it to believe it.

And it... kind of got me thinking, -

- looking at all that history and, reflecting on the achievement -

- of people long ago kind of...

put things into perspective

My trip to Denver, for instance is so insignificant compared to -

- the journeys that others have taken, -

- the bravery that they have shown, -

- the hardships they've endured.

I know we are all pretty small in the big scheme of things.

And I supposed the most you can hope for -

- is to make some kind of difference.

What... what kind of difference have I made ?

What in the world is better because of me ?

When I was out in Denver, I tried to do the right thing, -

- tried to convince Jeannie, she was...

making a big mistake but...

I failed.

Now she is married to that ??(demeuré) and there is nothing I can do about it.

I am... weak.

And I am a failure.

There is just no getting around it.

Relatively soon, I will die.

Maybe in 20 years... maybe tomorrow...

It doesn't matter.

Once I am dead, and everyone who knew me dies too, a little -

- be as though I never even existed

What difference is my life made to anyone ?

None that I can think of.

None... at all.

hope things are fine with you.

Yours truly... Warren Schmidt.

Dear Mister Warren Schmidt, -

- my name is sister Nadine Gautier, of the order of the sisters of "the secret heart".

I work in a small village near the town of Embeya in Tanzania.

One of the children I care for is little Ndugu Umbu, -

- the boy you sponsor.

Ndugu is a very intelligent boy, -

- and very loving.

He is an orphan.

Recently he needed medical attention for an infection of the eye.

But he is better now.

He loves to eat melon and he loves to paint.

Ndugu and I, want you to know that he receives all of your letters.

He hopes that you are happy in your life and healthy.

He thinks of you everyday.

And he wants very much your happiness.

Ndugu is only 6 years old and cannot read or write.

But, he has made for you a painting.

He hopes that you will like his painting.

Yours sincerely... sister Nadine Gautier.