After The Sunset Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the After The Sunset script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Pierce Brosnan, Woody Harrelson, and Salma Hayek.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of After The Sunset. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

After The Sunset Script




You screwed up!



Here we go, here we go!



Yeah! All right!






Got him.



Target is in sight.



Clock him close.



He's not going anywhere.



I'm hand-carrying this thing

right into the museum.



Stan, you've got more cover on you

than the president.



The diamond is safe.



This is an armed caravan,

completely bulletproof, magnetic locks.



- This transfer is under control.

- I'm hot.



FBI Travel Link climate control.



I don't understand your command.



I don't understand your command.



I don't under...I don't...I don't...

I don't under...I don't understand...



It's too damn complicated.



- That way.

- That's some bullshit!



Are you kidding me, ref?

That's the Lakers' ball.



My blind grandmother

coulda seen that!



- Sit down, fat boy!

- That's the Lakers' ball!



I'm callin' it!



What are you doing?



Green light go,

red light stop, buddy.



No, no, no. No, sir.



Thank you, thank you.

Okay, great.



Nice job. Bye-bye.



- Tip him. Get him outta here.

- Yeah, yeah.






No, come on, that's enough.



Okay, thank you.



Go take a bath.

There you go.



Let's roll.



That's what I'm talkin' about!

Every time!



Charge? Charge!



Ref, listen!

This is insane!



It's a foul on him.



Charge? I'll show you a charge!



I'll show you a damn charge, man!



That's the worst call I ever seen!



What do you think this is, a rodeo?



Then I'll be the clown!



- Let me in the game!

- Sit down, please.



Get out of my way!

Play some real ball!



Unleash the Beast!



Hey, put Malone in there!



Put in the Mailman, damn it!



Get Shaq in the game!



You gotta win this game!

You gotta win this game!



Don't take me,

I'm an American citizen!



American citizen, damn it!



You sons of bitches!



I'm the clown!



The Lakers need me!

I'm their clown!



Shit! He's gone.



We've lost him.






- Burdett is gone.

- Find him.



He's coming after it.



We're fine.

Just relax.



Don't tell me to relax.



I've dealt with this guy before.



See him yet?



We're looking, we're looking.



Safeties off until they relocate Burdett.



Oh, kiss me



Stand down. We got him.



He's still here.



On the Jumbotron.



He changed his seat.



Get a direct visual.



You got it.



See, Stan, we got you here.



No need to panic.



Do you have a direct visual yet?



Negative. We're still looking.



We're clear?



We're clear.



Come on out.






That thing is going by itself! Damn!



Come on!






Transfer has been compromised.






What's going on?!









Aah! Aah!



Thank the guys.



Good luck.



Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Your beard tickles.



Did he tip you?



- One lousy buck.

- Cheap bastard.



I love it when you undress.



Let's do this.






Roller coaster of love



Say what



Roller coaster



Turn that shit off!



Roller coaster



What about Mexico?



Can't take the water.



How about Paris?



Can't take the French.



Promise me paradise.



Can we talk about this

after we gas Agent Lloyd?









Your love is like a roller coaster,

baby, baby



I wanna ride






Move over there

'cause I'm a double dipper



Upside down on the big dip dipper



       I've got a ticket,

come ride with me



Let me go down on the merry-go-round



All is fair on these fairgrounds



Let's go slow, let's go fast



Roller coaster of love,

say what



Roller coaster,

oh, yeah



A few... Aah!






Roller coaster

Can you get back on



Max. Max.



Look at me.



Look at me.



Don't worry.



Get the diamond.






Are you all right?



Your own pineapple wine,

your dollar fifty all the time



Turn around and let me see you



Turn around and let me see



Your own pineapple wine,

your dollar fifty all the time



Turn around and let me see you



Turn around and let me see



Your own pineapple wine,

your dollar fifty all the time



I got a new dance,

hot like pepper



From the old to the young,

gonna make your body rock



It's really easy, easy peasy



You can do it anywhere,

jump around like you don't care



Singin' turn around and let me see you



Turn around and let me see



Your own pineapple wine,

your dollar fifty all the time



Turn around and let me see you,

turn around and let me see



Your own pineapple wine,

your dollar fifty all the time



A young man broke his leg



Old granny broke her back



And Jimmy got a migraine

from a falling coconut



Dead uncle was confused,

he has a solution



A bottle of the apple wine

was his prescription



It cure the broke leg,

it cure the bad back



It cure the migraine,

even cure the heart attack



The people started jumping

'cause they were feelin' fine



This city's greatest sin

was their own fine wine, tell me



Turn around and let me see you



Turn around and let me see



Your own pineapple wine,

your dollar fifty all the time



Turn around and let me see you...



I wrote my vows.



- What?

- I wrote my vows.



- You?

- Work in progress.



Max, this is Ron and, uh...



- Hey, hey, hey.

- Gail.



- Gail, yes.

- Great to run into you again.



- I met them at the tennis club.

- Oh.



What kind of business you in, Maxwell?



Pest control.



- This is Sheila and Ed.

- Hey!



- Hi.

- Hi.



They're from Orlando.



I met them parasailing.



So, uh, what kind

of business are you in, Max?



I have a bunch of sweatshops

in the Philippines.



- Oh.

- Oh.



You should see those kids

make those hats.



- Great, huh?

- Wow.



- Scootch in.

- Hi.



Max, this is Wendell and June.



We met snorkeling.



- Max, right?

- Yes.



Yeah, Wendell.



- Oh, I love lobster.

- Oh, yummy!



Wow, look at that!



Stocks may rise and fall,

economies may collapse,



but the American farmer's always

gonna need manure.



My family's been in manure

for three generations.



No shit.



Holy cow!



Sheila and I like to swoc.






We like to have sex

with other couples.






Ooh, honey, look at that!



Something wrong?



Six months.

I can't take any more lobster.



There's only one thing

I enjoy eating more than lobster.



Huh, huh, huh?



Man, do I love lobster!



So, I'm setting up

for this   -foot putt,



I got a chance for an eagle.



An eagle. Now, sweetie...



Steal her bracelet.



I saw you looking at it.



Steal it.



You know you want it.



We're retired, baby.

All I want is you.



Come on, let yourself go.

Have fun.



I bet you can't get it.



Of course I can, but I won't.



Bet you can't.



Max. Aren't you having a good time?



Please come again.



Maxwell, this one's on me.



Oh, thank you very much.



That's weird, I can't find my wallet.

Did I give you my wallet?



No, you didn't give me your wallet.



That's so weird! I could swear

I put it in my pocket before I came here.



It's okay, big fellow.

I got it.



Oh, thanks, Maxwell.



That is so sweet.



Where the hell is my wallet?



Luc, what's in

the Caribbean Romance again?



Light rum, amaretto,



orange juice, pineapple juice,

and a splash of grenadine.



What about the Pink Paradise?



Coconut rum, amaretto, cranberry juice,

orange juice, and pineapple juice.



People actually drink this stuff?



They love it.

You know, it makes them feel exotic.



Give me a Jack on the rocks.



It doesn't have a fancy name,

but if it was good enough for Frank,



it's good enough for me.






Who's Frank?






Did Frank take an umbrella?



Not even when it was raining.



Hi, baby.



How was it?



Amazing! You'd love it!



The only sounds are your breath

and your heartbeat.



The reef is like a thousand jewels,

sparkling right in front of you.



You should really try it next time.



Mm-hmm. Well,

I like to breathe unassisted.



- Oh, really?

- Mmm.



I thought you liked it

when I give you mouth to mouth.



State your business.



You're gonna shoot

an FBI agent, Burdett?



All I see is an intruder...



...who just swallowed $   worth

of my whiskey.



Put down the weapon.



Don't make me shoot you again.






Is that the way we're gonna play it?



What are you doing

in my house, Agent Lloyd?



Sitting, drinking, eating chocolate.



- You have a warrant?

- FBI doesn't have jurisdiction here.



I know, that's why I came down here.



Oh, I don't think it is.



The Seven Seas Navigator

docking here for a solid week.



They're having a nice promotion

for the maiden voyage,



calling it the Diamond Cruise.



A gem exhibit whose star attraction is



the third Napoleon Diamond.



Stop me when I get to the part

you don't know.



It's the only one you two haven't stolen.






And it's gonna be right here

for a whole week... the last of the set...



and I suspect you plan to purloin it.



Well, I don't.



So finish your drink and get out.



It's okay to be happy to see me.



Just because you're English doesn't

mean you need to hide your emotions.



I'm Irish.

We let people know how we feel.



Now fuck off.



And you can take any bugs you planted

along with you.



I'm retired.



A retired guy wouldn't have anything

to worry about from those.



- Mind if I borrow this?

- Take it.



You might learn something from it.



But return it for me.

It's overdue.



Give my love to Lola, will you?



How was the tennis lesson?



Great. The teacher says I'm a natural.



He says I've got the best backside

he's ever seen.



That's backhand.



Don't go in there.



- Why?

- Let's talk.



Okay, you're making me nervous,

and I don't get nervous.



Agent Lloyd just left.



What's he doing here?



He came to show me this.



Damn it, Max.



Is this what we're here for?



No. It's not.



This is not retirement at all.



This is the next setup, isn't it?



Babe, you chose

this island, remember?



I hope you don't think

this is a gift from God.



'Cause this is God messing with us.



Oh, no. Max.



Did Stan do this?



Sort of.



I figured he'd bug the place,

so I started checking.



Did you find any?



Only what he wanted me to find.



There's another one here somewhere.



Now, don't worry.

I already checked.



There's nothing in there.



That's the problem.



There's nothing in here.



What is it?

What's wrong?



I hid the bullet in the camera.



What bullet?



The one he shot you with.



Oh, no.



I kept it to remind me

of how close I came to losing you.



Lola, you know that bullet

puts me on the scene.



I know, I know. I'm sorry.



I'll get it back.



Good morning, Mr. Lloyd.

Your suite is ready.



- Suite?

- Suite, sir.



It's a larger room.



Atlantis reserves this bridge suite

for our more dignified guests.



Breakfast is on the house, these are

vouchers for free tennis lessons,



complimentary skin exfoliant,

seaweed body wrap and facial scrub,



located in the spa on the club level.



Also, please remember.



Shoes and shirt are required

in all public spaces at all times.



State your business.



You can't bribe me

with a seaweed body wrap, Max.



This doesn't buy you one bit of space.



I'm gonna be on you wherever you go.



It's no bribe, Stanley.



I just want you to see

that if you lead the kind of life I do,



stealing is the last thing on your mind.



Mr. Lloyd.



Are you ready for your massage?



I'll do your back.



I'll do your front.



You son of a bitch.



- Lola?

- Yeah.



- He hid it in a black jewelry box.

- Good job.



Thank you.



Talented masseuse.



You get rid of it this time.



I will.



Good evening.

May I take your order?



No, thank you.

I just lost my appetite.



Just as well.



I don't take orders from criminals,

I arrest them.



Or fall asleep trying.



So you're admitting you were there.



No. I read about it in the papers,

just like everyone else.



You're famous.



I'm a punchline.



But like my grandma used to say,

he who laughs last laughs loudest.



By the way,

return that movie, would you?



The store called.



I haven't finished it yet.



They catch the thief,

but it's not who you think it is.



I don't like those twist endings.



Well, we don't like you.









They're playing your song.



Why don't you take Stanley

for a dance?



He's feeling lonely.



And I am feeling charitable.



Let's go, Stan.






I'll try to have her back by dawn.






Can I help you?



I wanna talk to Mooré.



Get out of the way.



Monsieur Mooré is currently socializing.



Interrupting a man's leisure

is harassment.



That's not harassment.



You feel that?



- Ooh.

- That's harassment.



And you tell your boss

this is just the beginning.



I have two hands,

and I can't be bought.






Excuse me, constable.

May I have a word with you?



Audrey, where you get that sugar?



Listen, Stan,

I know what you're doing.



But if you drag Max into your game,

he will not lose.



Eventually, they all lose.



Not my Max.



Do yourself a favor...

leave us alone.



We're just a couple of retirees

trying to enjoy the island life.



All the same, I'll stick around,

see what develops.



Excuse me.



In a second, honey.

You'll get your chance.



Damn, I got the stink on me tonight.



Step off the dance floor, sir.






- Have fun, Stan.

- Hey. Lola!




Raise your hands, sir.



I'm law.

Federal B.I.?



It is illegal on this island to carry

a concealed weapon without a permit.



I'm working a suspect.



Are you not supposed to inform

local authorities when you arrive,



Agent Stanley P. Lloyd?



- You know him?

- He's my suspect.



Well, we're still gonna have to

take this to the station and register it.



You're letting the criminal go.



This is crazy.



You think this is crazy?



Your dancing, that was crazy.



This way, Agent Lloyd.



Welcome to paradise.






- The watermarks and holograms match.

- Oh.



But I still have to register the gun.



You have a nice smile.



I haven't smiled at you.



You will.



That's just the way I feel about it,

and they have to deal with it.



Yes, sir.



Ah, Sophie.



I need to speak to you.



I'm getting complaints

about you bothering Henri Mooré.



Just doing my job, Zacharias.



The man is practically

the unofficial mayor of the island.



In one year, he's made

everyone here like him,



something you haven't been

able to do in a lifetime.



I guess we can't all be

the kiss-ass politician you are.



I want you to stay behind tonight

so we can discuss your attitude.



You knew about my attitude

the day we got married



and knew about it

the day we got divorced.



You're not gonna learn

any more about it tonight.



Besides, I have plans

with Special Agent Lloyd of the FBI.



He's just arrived on the island.



Is that so?



Shall we?



We shall.



She's feisty.



Mmm. Isn't it beautiful?






Is it enough?



Of course it is.



Some people say the only way

to rid yourself of temptation



is to yield to it.



I don't know about that.



I say turn your back on temptation...



...or substitute something

more tempting.



See how easy that was?



What's the shortest amount of time

you've ever known a guy



before you kissed him?



I see what you're thinking,

and you can forget it.



Guys come down to this island looking

for a slice of paradise with a local girl,



and they will say anything to get it.



I resent being lumped in with all guys,



though, admittedly,

I would say anything right now.



How long have you been chasing Max?



Seven years... ever since the first

Napoleon Diamond went missing.



I got to the scene,

took a few shots at the getaway car.



Next day, bottle of champagne arrives

at FBI Headquarters for me,



with a note says,

''Aim for the tires next time.''



He was baiting you.



- Hmm.

- Is there a money trail?



Everything's plain...

taxes, bank accounts.



He doesn't buy

expensive paintings, yachts, nothing.



I think it's more about the challenge

and the alibi... that's his work of art.



Sounds like you admire him.



Would I like to live one day

in his velvety slippers?






But I don't admire him.



He's beat me too many times for that.



Maybe you need the female touch.



That's exactly what I need.



Listen, I want a big arrest,

you need local help.



I'll extend the FBI courtesy on this one.



As long as I'm riding shotgun.



What's going on?



I'm expanding the deck.



You're trying to stay busy.



Look, on this deck,

we are going to sit here



and watch sunsets until we get old.



Can't wait.



Where are you going?



You said I need a hobby.



I guess I'll go find one.






I'll call you later.



He's here.



The centerpiece of our exhibit.



Napoleon had three priceless diamonds

set into the hilt of his sword.



After his defeat, they were pried out

and dispersed around the globe.



This is one of the rare occasions the last

remaining diamond is on public display.



And next, we have

some rare Egyptian gems.



Cute little rock.



I'm just here to look.



Just as well.



With six cameras...

four stationary, two revolving,



a dozen I.R. Motion sensors...




You missed the ones at ankle level.



Plus your standard

  -hour rotating guards.



Unbreakable polycarbonate display,



controlled by an uncopyable

magnetic key card.



I just realized...

you could never get it anyway.



You're right.



When you're right, you're right.



It's impossible.



Give me a ride.



I don't think so.



Maybe you should think again.



May I present Monsieur Henri Mooré.



Mr. Burdett.



It is a pleasure to meet you, sir.



Oh, you're an American.



Hmm. Henri Mooré?



Ah. My name is Henry Moore.



I placed the thing on the ''e''.



I felt it more appropriate

to my surroundings.



- Oh.

- Please.



I imagine you're wondering

why you're here.






Forgive Jean-Paul's tactics, Mr. Burdett,



but to put it bluntly, the impoverished

people of this island need your help.






Five years ago, I was

a successful businessman in Detroit.



While vacationing on this island,



I was sitting on the beach

drinking a...



Citron martini.



I don't recall what I was drinking...

it's not important.



But I experienced a revelation...



that I had been brought to this island to

provide the commensurate social services



that were sadly lacking

for the poorer elements of society here.



And you want me to buy a table

at your next fundraiser.



No, Mr. Burdett.



But I am offering you the opportunity



to participate in the vital growth

of my infrastructure.



Uh-huh. How's that?



I want you to steal me that diamond.



I'm not a criminal.



Right. Neither am I.




Then we understand each other.



- Yes.

- Yeah.



Let me show you around, Mr. Burdett.



Do you think it fair

that the indigenous of this island



are not allowed to enter the casinos

unless they work there?



Why is it that only the rich should enjoy



pharmaceutically-assisted moments

of personal introspection?



The safety and security found

in owning your own machine gun.



The pleasures derived



from financially-procured

female companionship.



The underprivileged should not be

denied these essential diversions.



I mean, look around you, Mr. Burdett.



No one is turned away.



All I do, I do for the people.



And why do you need

the diamond for that?



I have an urgent need to expand

my humanitarian program.



A cash injection

in the tens of millions of dollars



would relieve the entire Caribbean.



What I'm suggesting

is a partnership, Mr. Burdett.



You are a stranger to this island.



I can give you what you don't have...



access to the marina, the crews,

rotation schedules, whatever you need.



I couldn't sleep.

Didn't wanna wake you.



I saw you on the ship yesterday.



I had a feeling you might be there, too.



Don't you ever feel

we weren't quite finished?



Look, Max, I miss it, too.



We were great.



And we went out

at the top of our game, undefeated.



The best time to quit.






Max, I cased it.



It's not a one man job, and there's

no way you're pulling me into it.



We're retired.



Now the challenge is

to find joy in simple things.



And I like that challenge.






I lied on the ship.



I could get it.



Here's how.



I'd cut the camera feed

and go in from behind the exhibit.



It's blowable from the storage room,

and I'd do it after    P.M.






The retired arthritic cops

always get that shift.



So that's how you do it.



And now I've told you.



So now I can't.



Oh, my God.



- What are you doing?

- I'm cooking.



- Since when?

- This morning.



We are decent law-abiding people,



and decent law-abiding people

cook omelets for breakfast.






State your business.



You almost had me last night



with that old David Copperfield

smoke and mirrors trick.



''Look at my assistant with the big tits

while I take the Rolex right off your wrist.''



What do you want about her?



I wanna know

how you're really gonna do it,



and you're gonna tell me

while we're fishing.






I don't fish.



I got a boat stacked with beer.



Drink it yourself.



You might as well come.

You're paying for it.



I charged it to my suite.



All the same, Stanley, I'll pass.



There is an option.



I get the local police to bring you down

to the station, we sweat you there.



And I do mean sweat.



There's no air conditioning,

so dress light.



The eggs on this island taste funny.



They must have some weird chickens.



What'll it be, Max?



I'll see you soon.



Tell me this isn't better

than standing in some lineup.



I've never been in a lineup.



Ooh, that's a hell of a watch.



What's that kind of thing run you?



A couple of grand.



Why don't you pick one up

on the Bureau's expense account?



Oh, they keep me on a real tight leash.



I got you to thank for that.






Whoo! It's cookin' out here.



So if I didn't shoot you,

where'd you get the screen door?



Knitting accident.



Dab some of this on my back, will you?



Are you serious?



Yeah. I've got delicate skin.

I don't wanna burn.



I bet you were the best kid in the

neighborhood at hide-and-seek, huh?



So you joined the Bureau.



Yeah, I found them all.



No one ever found me.



Once I found a good spot,

I'd stay there for days.



There you go.



Now, turn around.

I'll do you.



I'll handle it.



No, come on.

You're gonna burn.









There. That's good.



Wait. Don't you want me

to coat everything?



That's good. My pole.



No way, man!

I'm only doing your back!



My pole!



Hey, we got something.

Come on.



Oh, oh, oh. Look at this!



Oh. We got something here, Stanley.



Ooh! Aah!



Shit! Come on!



Come on! Help me pull it up.



Don't lose it, don't lose it!



- It's a monster.

- We can do it!



This is big.

Okay, come on, pull!



- Are you pulling?

- I'm pulling, man.



Jesus Christ!




One, two, three!



Oh! Aah!



Jesus Christ!



It's a shark, it's a shark.






Why is it not moving?



- Maybe it's in shock.

- What do you wanna do?



Maybe it's dead.

I mean, it looks dead.



Go over and shake it.



- Why me?

- Well, you're FBI.



What's that have to do with anything?



If it bites your arm off,

you get disability for the rest of your life.



- Go!

- You hooked it.



You go see if it's alive.



Yeah, I hooked it,

so you go see if it's alive.



- Go!

- Hey, hey!



Oh, okay.

Here I go.



I'm just gonna sneak up on it.



Why are you whispering?



So it won't know the plan.






- Aah!

- Aah! Shit!



Watch out, watch out, watch out!



You have the right to remain silent!



Yeah, it's dead.






Look at them.



If you didn't know any better,

you'd think they were friends.



You must be Lola.






Nice gun.



Sig Sauer P   .



Custom trigger action.






- Nice shoes.

- Thank you.



- Chanel?

- Cruz collection.



How bad was it?



Oh, not too bad.



Sophie seems nice.



Yeah, for a cop.



Lola seems cool.



For a thief.






I resign. You win.



Make a wish.






I wish you'd write your vows.



I'm so tense.



Come here.

Let me relax you.



What are you doing?

Why are you taking off your clothes?



Now we're talkin'.



Are you being naughty?



Naughty enough to spank.



Oh, yeah!



I'll bite you.

Can I bite you?



The door.

Are we expecting anyone?



Yeah. A friend.



- A friend?

- A friend?



A girlfriend.



You didn't.



I love you, baby.



You know I'll do anytthing for you.



Wait here.



What's she gonna do?



Tell him.

Tell him.



She's gonna help me relax you.



You're kidding.






You're gonna like this.



Lucky bastard.



- Who is she?

- You'll see.



Max, I'd like you to meet Stan's mom.



Night, Stan.



Son of a...



You're only in port    more hours.



Stay on high alert.



Agent Lloyd, we have the most sophisticated

security system



ever installed on a seagoing vessel.



And you'll need it.



Excuse me, sir.



There's been a security breach.



Don't move!



Turn around.



Turn around!



- No!

- Stan!



Damn it.



The other side!



Just stop him!



Let's do it, come on!



Although the famed

Napoleon Diamond was undisturbed,



the unknown intruder knocked out



a Seven Seas Navigator

maintenance worker,



stole his uniform,

and slipped onto the ship.



You're cheating on me, aren't you?



What are you talking about?



Maybe not with a woman,

but with a diamond.



You want her.



And I'm jealous.



You've got nothing to worry about.



Where were you tonight, Max?



I've been home, writing my vows.



Oh! Let me see.




You have to wait.



Well, I'm not gonna let

that little bitch take my man.



I'm gonna fight for what's mine.






And how exactly are you gonna do that?



I'm a thief.



I know a thing or two about distraction.



It's a beautiful jewel, Max.



But I guarantee you,

it's no fun in the tub.






I had him.

You shoulda stayed out of my way.



I didn't want you to get hurt.

I'm sorry.



You're the one who's hurt.

You should ice that.



Why are men always trying

to protect women?



'Cause you smell good.



It's all about sex, isn't it?



Why can't we just be

two cops working a case?



Hey, I happen to agree with you.



From now on,

we're just partners on this.






- So, let's have dinner and discuss it.

- No, thanks.



How about a steam?



What... l... no, I always steam

with my partners.



Okay, you wanna go

for a Jacuzzi, partner?



I have a big tub in my room.



We have to talk.



Max. Great timing.

Ride with us.



Can we just do this one on one?



Oh, of course.



California dreaming...



Are you familiar with the pleasures

of anonymous love, Max?






Recently I found myself experimenting

with alternative lifestyle parameters



based largely

on the free love philosophy



as found in the collected works

of The Mamas and The Papas.



I never made that connection.



Oh, it's there.



That Michelle Phillips,

she could walk it like she talked it.



Earl, burn one of my CDs for Max.



Yes, sir.



This is it, Max.



My vision.



My infrastructure growing

before our eyes.



It used to be a children's hospital,



but I'm revitalizing it

into a paramilitary training facility.



More importantly,

that ship is leaving in two days.



What's this?



Everything you need.



Schematics, detailed plan.



You can do it yourself.



Go in through the air conditioning vents.



The exhibit is accessible

from the storage facility behind it.



There's cameras there, so you're

gonna have to cut the central feed.



Red wires in the control panel here.



If you don't cut the red wire,

they'll see everything.



- What next?

- Blow the wall.



- C- ?

- Uh-uh.



I'd use a shape charge

with a detonation cord.



Smaller but more effective.



And... you'd wanna blow it

after    P.M.



- Why is that?

- Graveyard shift.



Always the retired cops

with arthritis.



That's how I'd do it.



Then that's how I'll do it.



You know, we're not

partners anymore, Max.



In fact, you see me,

cross the street.



You gotta go



Go where you wanna go



Do what you wanna do



With whoever

you wanna do it with



You gotta go

where you wanna go



Do what you wanna do



With whoever

you wanna do it with



You don't understand

that a girl like...



Good afternoon. Atlantis.

How may I help?



Mr. Lloyd,

the Bridge Suite, please.






- Stanley.

- Yeah.



- It's Max, just checking in.

- Cut the crap, Max.



You're making sure I'm in my room

and not following you.



How could you be following me

if you're in your room?



- See you soon, Stanley.

- Okay.












If you're gonna forward your calls,

don't tail me so close.









I heard the call

over the radio.



Every year there's one white boy

that goes down at Junkanoo.



Here's what I found out.

Max closed escrow,



and then a month later

the cruise booked the diamond.



- Maybe he is retired.

- I doubt it.



He met with Henri Mooré today,



the biggest gangster on the island.



Thanks for coming.



You know, this one

you really do have to ice.



- Ah!

- Oh, I'm sorry.






There's another one here.






This one's particularly painful.



There's some referred pain.

It's somewhere around... here.



I'll have to get hurt more often.



And in more interesting places.



- Oh, God, I'm vibrating!

- So am I.



No. No, no.



- I'm getting a call.

- What?



Is nothing sacred?



Shit, I have to go.



Go? No, you can't go.

I just unwrapped my head.



Sorry, I need a rain check.



What, are you crazy?

It never rains here.



Just give me five minutes, all right?



Five minutes?

You should be embarrassed.



Okay, three.



Oh, Stan, come on.



Okay, two!

Please don't make me beg. Please.



A quick two?



Oh, don't worry, I'm quick.






Mr. Burdett, it's Luc from the bar.



There's a guest down here

that's bombed that's shouting your name.



Welcome to paradise, Frank!



Well, it's only paradise

for criminals, like Max Burdett.



Yeah. I hear him.

I'll be right there.



- Where'd he go?

- Over there.



Oh, thanks, Luc.



What are you doing to yourself?

What's wrong?



- Nothing.

- Nothing's wrong?



Me and Sophie hooked up.



And it was beautiful.



But it's only gonna

last for one more day.



Why is that?



Because the ship's only gonna

be here    more hours,



and you're gonna clip Napoleon III



and make me look

like a jerk again.



- I'll have another one!

- You've had enough.



You are not my daddy.



I didn't take you as an umbrella

kind of guy, Stan.



These remoras really have

a kick to 'em.



Hey, Stan, buck up.

You're a good agent.



No, I'm not.



You know, I used to blame you,

but now I see it clearly.



It's not you, it's me.



You've got genius, man.



If I had an ounce

of what you have, I'd never stop.



You've got a gift, man.

It's inspiring.



I love these remoras!



Bartender! Give me another one!



It's okay, Stan.

It's okay.



Luc, you're not working tonight, right?

Give us a hand here.



Come on, Stan,

here you go. Come on.



Here you go, buddy.




Come on, come on.



What about me?!



That's it, Stanley.



Here you go.



That's it.



That's it. Here we go.



You tell anyone I tucked him in,

I'll kill you.



- Sure thing, Mr. Burdett.

- Call me Max.



- Max.

- Okay.






It's locked.

And don't try to break in.



You're not welcome.



I finished the deck.



You promised to spend

the first sunset on it together.



- Lola.

- That's not all.



I found your notebook.






I'll sit down right now

and write my vows, okay?



The vows are not for me,

they're for you.



You have to figure out if what

we have means anything to you.



Come on, Max.



Do you really think the third one's

gonna make you whole?



- I don't know.

- Well, don't come back until you do.



Where am I supposed to go?



She threw me out.



Why is it my problem?



'Cause every hotel

on the island is booked.



Can I move

this surveillance stuff?



Don't mess with it!

It's very expensive.



Listen, I'm not gonna

sleep on the floor.



Well, I guess you're

out of luck.



We both are.



Move over.






So what'd you do?



I missed our first sunset

on her new deck.



That's it?



I'm no good at sunsets.



Of course you're not.



The world is divided up between people

who like to watch the sunset



and those who don't.






People like you

are never happy.



You're anxious, type-A, egocentric

perfectionists who can't sit still



and die alone with a million bucks

and a thousand regrets.



The people who can relax,

enjoy the sunset,



hold hands at the end of the day...

they're the happy ones.



So why can't you do that?



Because of you.



Don't hog the blanket.



- Good night, Max.

- Good night.



You know, the Bureau's got

a ''don't ask, don't tell'' policy,



but this is pushing it, Stan.



Kowalski, Stafford.






The L.A. Office got a call

from Inspector Bethel here.



He wanted to know the scope

of the FBI's operation on the island.



Since we don't have

an operation on the island,



we felt we'd

come here and check it out.



What's he talking about, Stan?



Let me explain.



He's on suspension.

He has been for three months.






He was deemed unstable

after he lost Napoleon II.



You told me

you were here on the case.



I am here on the case,



and once I bust this guy,

get reinstated, upped,



these slobs will be saluting me.



Are you guys dating?



He's nothing but a suspect to me.



- Oh, really?

- That's not what these show.



Your suspect's paying

for this suite.



And the seaweed body wraps.



You two look pretty chummy.



So you lied to me, Stan.



And you got your

slice of paradise, hmm?



I hope it was everything

you thought it would be.






You might want to do more

of a background check next time



before you partner up.



She didn't have to be

so hard on you, you know?



Storming out like that.



She's got grounds.



The thing you gotta understand

about us law enforcement types



is we don't much

appreciate lying.



Come on, Stan, you fibbed,

maybe withheld a little.



But lie? Nah.



You are an FBI agent

working a case.



You know, when you put it like that,

it doesn't sound so bad.



I could explain it to her.



What about you?



You are a hell of a catch.



I've seen the way

you are with Lola.



You love that girl.



So you're working out

some personal issues.



All you need is a little support.






Hell, I could

make her understand.



Max can't eat, can't sleep.



He's like an injured bird.



Stan's hurt.

He's in pain.



He's like a wounded dog.



He needs you, Lola.

You're his better half.



Just give him one more chance.



He's a good guy, Sophie.



I'm sure he's a liar,

but that comes with the job.



I don't know.

This is all a bit strange.



What do you think, Lola?



- I don't buy a word of it.

- I'm with you.



- No, no, no.

- Hey, hey, hey.



- Listen, hear us out.

- Come on, one second.






Tonight the lies stop.



He's serious. It's over.



He's not chasin' it,

and I'm not chasin' him.



I'm sorry, but I won't believe you

until that ship is gone.



And we still got a few hours

before she sails.



Look, I can't make

that ship disappear tonight,



but I can make us disappear.



- What are you talking about?

- I found a hobby.



Wait a minute.

You didn't tell me about this.



When we come up for air,



that ship will be headed to Paris

and the diamond will be gone forever.



So, where you taking us?



We're headed to a hidden reef

where there's rumored to be



    million in gold

somewhere among the wreckage.



You're kidding.






Look at this.



Yeah, these ships have

been down here since the '  s,



but nobody's ever

found any gold.



Well, maybe with the help

of the FBI we'll get lucky.



My money's on Max.



    million four ways...

that's    million apiece if we split it.



Have any idea where to start?



It could be anywhere down here.

Let's split up, look around.



You guys sure this is safe?

I'm allergic to shellfish.



You've got nothing to worry about.

I've seen how you handle sharks.



When we get back,

I'm buying everyone umbrella drinks.



Hey, little guy,

have you seen any gold down here?



Hey, Max, I'm counting on you

to make me a rich man.



Lola, hypothetically speaking,



what's it like to hold

   million in your hands?



I have no idea

what you're talking about.






- Good night, old-timer.

- Eat shit.



What the hell is that?



There is an intruder

in Storage Facility B.



- Attempted break-in in progress.

- Son of a bitch!



All security

to Storage Facility B.



Hey, Max.



What's up?



Where are you?



Oh, I'm somewhere inside the ship.



Oh, yeah, me too.

Thanks, that helps a lot.



Max, did you say

you were inside the ship?



Yeah, it's amazing.



Hmm. Really?

What do you see?



It's pretty dark.

I think I'm in the captain's quarters.



That's interesting.



Max, suddenly I don't feel like

having an umbrella drink.



I'm beginning to think we're gonna

go home empty-handed.



Where are you, Max?

I'm gonna come hunt with you a while.



I'm coming to you.



How you see me?

I cut the red wire.



Ah, nice work, genius.

You cut the heating to the Jacuzzi.



Max, you at the stern?






Stan Lloyd to Max Burdett.

Come in.



Who'd he think he was,

the Invisible Man?



Dear God.






It was a diversion.

Get back to the diamond!



Max, where are you?



Will you answer me?









He's in the vents!

He got the diamond!



Max, what was that?






I think he left his radio.



I thought I heard

something else.



Where'd you go?

Is something wrong?



Nice costume.



- Thanks.

- You're welcome.



Party all the time,

party all the time



Party all the time



My girl wants

to party all the time...



Go back to your cabin, please.



Aha, there you are!



Hey, Max, come on.



Last night we were spooning.

Now you're running away?



Come on!



Yoo-hoo, Max.



Oh, I get it.

A little hide-and-seek.



Like I told you on the boat,

I caught 'em all.



You're good,

but you're not that good.



You know what they say...

the FBI always gets their man.






I'm having an air problem!



Stan, are you okay?



I can't breathe! Help!



Where are you, Stan?



I'm coming, Stan.



It's okay, Stan.

I'm right here.



Take off your mask.



I got him, honey.



I'm right here.



You're okay, Stan.



Nothing to worry about, partner.



I saw my life flash

before my eyes.



Leave it to me to get

the faulty regulator.



You know,

I never dove before.



- I would like to propose a toast.

- What are we celebrating?






- I'll drink to that.

- Good.












- What's wrong?

- The diamond's been stolen.



- What?

- Half an hour ago.



You set us up.



Come on.



This whole thing.



You got your perfect alibi... me.






Get your hands up.



Are you serious?



No wonder you just retired.



You don't have

anything left to steal.



I've got to get to the ship.



You couldn't resist, could you?



You had to screw me

one last time.



You had to make an ass

out of me!



Hey, Lola.

Lola, wait.






You really did save me down there.



I'm sorry I kept you in the dark.

I was only trying to protect you.



How generous of you.



You were right, you know.

I couldn't do it without you.



You gotta admit, though,

the look on Stan's face was sheer poetry.



Shut up, Max.






Lola, please.



Max, I helped you

because I love you.



But now I'm leaving you.



Lola, I thought you'd

appreciate how I did it,



you of all people.

Hey, hey.



I do.

It was a smart plan, Max.



You're a great thief.



But I want a great man.






Move inside.



What, you thought this was over?

Turn around!



I tried to deal with you

from an elevated place, man,



appeal to your intellect,

spit poetry and shit at you.



But no, man, you had to bring me

down to the gutter.



Where is the diamond?



- She's got nothing to do with this.

- Oh, she does now.



You kill my dog,

I'm gonna slay your cat.



Don't get...






Nice throw, bitch!






Where'd you come from?



He asked me to help him steal it

a week ago. I turned him down.



He must have stolen it himself,



then he came back here

to make sure there were no loose ends.



So why didn't you come to me,

tell me what they were planning?



He said he'd kill us.



You wouldn't have believed him anyway.



You thought Mooré was

the Second Coming for this island.



Don't tell me

what I think, woman.



- Where's the diamond?

- I have no idea.



- They were trying to frame us.

- Are we finished here?



You know, I don't believe a word

of what you're saying.



I know.



Don't leave.



Good luck, Max.



Lola, wait.



Hear me out.



It's not gonna work, Max.

Not this time.



I know it's too late,

but I finally wrote them. See?



Lots of words.



But I don't need to read them

because I know it by heart.



I've spent my whole life chasing things

which I thought were valuable,



when the only thing I really cared for

was right in front of me all along.



You are my heart, Lola.



From this moment on,

you are my only jewel.



I want a life

filled with sunsets.



And I never wanna watch

one of them without you, not ever.



The first diamond I've ever bought.



I love you, Lola Cirillo.



Marry me.



- On one condition.

- Anything.



I want the receipt.



Here you go, Luc.



- Thank you.

- Thank you.



Jack on the rocks, with an umbrella.

What the hell, I'm celebrating.



Forget the Jack on the rocks,

let's have remoras all around.



Remoras all around.



Stanley, what the hell

are you doing here?



Well, I thought I'd stick around.



Oh, yeah, look familiar?



Treated myself,

maxed out the credit card.



But it suits me,

don't you think?



Well, it must take a bite

out of a government salary.



Ah, I can afford it all right.



Come on, let's sip

our remoras and talk, shall we?



I thought you said

these things have a kick.



Luc, what's in this?



Orange juice, mango juice,

grenadine, and coconut milk.



No liquor?






I love these remoras!



Bartender, give me another!



You tell anyone I tucked him in,

I'll kill you.



- Sure thing, Mr. Burdett.

- Call me Max.



- Max.

- Okay.



You know,

I really like that cove.



Are you okay?

'Cause you don't look too good.



As an underwater enthusiast, you should

know what a remora really is, Max.



A remora is

kind of a stowaway,



a suckerfish that sticks

to the shark's body and feeds off it.



The shark does all the work,



but the remora gets the spoils.



You did it, Stan.



Right from the start.



It's the only one

you two haven't stolen.



You set me up.



I revel in it.

I revel in it!



Could it be that the great

Max Burdett has finally lost?



No, I didn't.



I got Lola.



Congratulations, Stan.



I'm looking at it right now.



My plane takes off

in ten minutes.



Tomorrow morning the bidding

will start at $   million,



and if I were you,

I'd bring cash.



You win some,

you lose some.



We still have the sunsets.






Don't worry,

one day you'll find a hobby.



You know,

I think I already have.



Bye-bye, paradise.












No, you bastard!



Last time, right, Max?



Last time.



You son of a bitch!






If you want it,

come and get it



I've got it



Oh, whoa



If you need it,

come and get it



I've got it



Oh, whoa



If you want it,

come and get it



I've got it



Oh, whoa



If you need it,

come and get it



I've got it






I'm a pro

when it comes to the getaway



So don't even

try to follow me



Bonnie and Clyde,

me and my lady



Right on down

to the end of the story



I'm wanted in so many countries



Not even the feds can catch me



'Cause I am made to run



In this profession

there is no other like me



If you want it,

come and get it



I've got it



Oh, whoa



If you need it,

come and get it



I've got it



Oh, whoa



If you want it,

come and get it



I've got it



Oh, whoa



If you need it,

come and get it



I've got it



Oh, yeah



What you think you saw,

you did not see



'Cause it's so easy for me



To get away

from sharks and security



I love to challenge my ability



So never underestimate me



I'm versatile with agility



Don't you be surprised

if you lose the prize



'Cause I've done this before



If you want it,

come and get it



I've got it



Oh, whoa



If you need it,

come and get it



I've got it



Oh, yeah






To all the ladies in the dance



To each and every princess



Hey, ah, ha, ah



Yo, confess



I lose all control when I see you

standing there in front of me



Your style, your clothes, your hair



Hey, woman, you look so sexy



The way you wind

and the way you dance



And the way that you

twist and turn your waist



Leaves me wanting,

leaves me yearning



Leaves me feeling for a taste



Before the end of the night



I wanna hold you so tight



So tight



You know I want you so much



So much



And I'm so tempted to touch



Yo, uh, uh



Tempted to touch,

tempted to touch



My little woman,

man, I need you so much



Tempted to touch,

tempted to touch



My little woman,

man, I'm inside your clutch



Tempted to touch,

tempted to touch



My little woman,

man, I need you so much



Tempted to touch,

tempted to touch



My little woman,

man, I'm inside your clutch






To all the ladies in the dance



I'm lookin' at these ladies



Thinkin' about one of them

havin' my babies, huh



I don't even know your name



Little woman,

I don't even know your age



But there's somethin' about you, girl



When I see you winding

in front the stage



I'm talkin' about you



Please forgive me,

please excuse me



But there is nothing else

that a man can do



Excuse me



I can't help myself, little woman



I just need to be next to you



Before the end of the night



Before the end of the night, huh



I wanna hold you so tight



Wanna hold you



You know I want you so much



Want you so much, huh



And I'm so tempted to touch



Come on, huh



Tempted to touch,

tempted to touch



My little woman,

man, I need you so much



Tempted to touch,

tempted to touch



My little woman,

man, I'm inside your clutch



Tempted to touch,

tempted to touch



My little woman,

man, I need you so much



Na na na-na-na-na na-na



Na na na-na-na-na na-na






She's got the touch

I love so much



That's all I ever wanted



I'm surely God-blessed



Uh, under her spell

she had me crushed



I sworn I was anointed



Got caught by her magic



Ah, she had me

drooling for a while



With her sexual motion



Like taking candy from a child



Suck on her love potion



I can't believe

the changes I've made



Since I met my baby



You know,

she drive me crazy



On and on



What a beautiful lady



On and on



She drives me crazy



On an on



And there's no ifs nor maybes,

she goes



On and on






Like a volcano she erupt



Blowing up my pager



Every minute, every hour



Whoo-whoo, yeah



I realize she likes my stuff



I chose the right flavor



This moment I will savor






I've never trusted pretty smiles



'Cause looks are deceivin'



Sexy want my love profound



Some pretty girls are misleading



Lesson learned,

don't judge a book



By looking at the cover



You know, she drive me crazy

Special help by SergeiK