Voila! Finally, the Bad Boys
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Will
Smith and Martin Lawrence. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Bad Boys. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
What is this having-a-picnic shit in my car?
Please, man, I'm not getting my sex at home.
Don't deny me this.
You sleep with a beautiful woman every night.
I'm married. That's what married means.
It means you sleep together, but you can't get none.
Watch it with all that shit, all right?
Look, where's your cup holders?
- I don't have one. - You don't have one?
$ for this car, and you ain't got no cup holder?
It's $ . This is one of the
fastest production cars on the planet.
Zero to sixty in four seconds,
sweetie. This is a limited edition.
You damn right it's limited. No cup holder, no backseat.
It's a shiny dick with two chairs in it.
I guess we the balls just dragging the fuck along.
- Get it. - I can't get down there.
You got an engine floor up here.
My shit won't go down in there.
Go. Titty-titty, strutty-strutty.
Go on. Make them want it.
I ain't your wife to be cleaning up after you.
Watch my hand. My shit can't get down there. It gets stuck.
- You come up with this shit. - Get that fry.
This ain't no goddamn Denny's. Don't eat in my car.
I wouldn't buy shit from Denny's. I
don't like the way we been treated.
They bit, Jack. Let's skank these fools.
You ain't interested in the fry. You all up in that.
- Get out of the car, man. - Shit.
- What the fuck? - Me and my team have had a big week...
so just get the fuck out of the car.
Damn. What are you weighing, ?
I bet you're a big chicken-eating motherfucker.
- Get the fuck out. - I always get the big motherfuckers.
- Get out of the car now! - All right!
- Hold on. - Now this is some funny shit.
Let me tell you how bad a day you're having.
You're jacking two cops.
Yeah? I'm a stand-up comedian, and I suck!
- That's why I need your car. - I ain't no Wesley Snipes.
I just hang out with stupid-ass
friends that drive stupid-ass cars...
that attract a lot of motherfucking attention!
I need to jump over this car and smack you in your head.
- You're arguing over a French
fry! - It's not about the French fry!
It's about your lack of respect for other people's property!
- Shut the fuck up! - This shit is stupid.
Hold the fuck on!
You want something bad enough? Come get some!
You like that shit?
Wesley Snipes, Passenger .
Now give me a motherfucking Handiwipe.
Let's hear one of those jokes, bitch.
What do you think, guys? Looks like the real thing.
You remember your assignment?
Yeah, I'm the decoy.
Yes, you are.
What the fuck you doing?
I just saw a policeman shot on
South Miami and First Street.
All units, officer down.
Officer down. Respond code three.
All units in the vicinity, respond and identify.
This is Air Unit Two. We've got a full perimeter.
Officer down. We need additional ground units.
Air Three, roger. Suspector suspects unknown.
Gentlemen, it's clear.
- We're in. - You got minutes.
Goddamn taco is gonna kill me.
Guys, you got minutes. Let's go.
Clear. We're in.
Move your ass. We've got six minutes.
Ready to fire. Go!
- Clear. - Go.
Come on! Let's go! Get out of here! Move it!
Did you have sweet dreams?
You're so nasty.
You're always saying you want quality time.
Right now, I got the time and
you damn sure got the quality.
- Come on now. - You know what it is?
I can't remember the last time we fell asleep together.
Baby, it's my job. It's what it requires.
I'm a better cop when I get some in the morning.
- I feel lighter on my feet. - Keep it in your pants, baby.
I hear three little Burnetts coming down the hall.
That's cold. You're leaving me here like a humping dog.
- Hi, baby boy. - Mommy.
- Boy, what's up? - Daddy!
Dad, at school, people say I look weird.
They say my ears look funny.
Boy, your daddy has that same problem. I got the ears.
You know what? They just out there
for you to listen to people's problems.
You're an angel. These are your wings.
James, stop. Would you take them off...
Your ears are better for you to listen with.
Don't let me come down to school. I'll arrest the principal.
- Mom! - What?
- James keeps pushing me! Quit
it! - Talking about my boy's ears.
Do what your mama said.
- Uncle Mike's in the house. - What's up, Uncle Mike?
- Partner. - What's going on?
Quincy, check it out.
- Why did you take my food? - Hey, girl.
Don't kiss me. I don't know
where your lips were last night. Move.
Uncle Mike, did you have a date last night?
- Let me tell you, boy. This girl was... - Hey!
Don't tell my son your sleazy sex stories.
I only tell your husband my sleazy sex stories.
I don't want him knowing about
them either; gives him ideas.
Why you putting me in this? I'm with my babies.
- Thank you. - Hello?
- Eat. Go on, girl. - No problem.
- You're on the mike with Mike. -
Want Daddy to wipe your mouth?
I think you mean to say, "Get our
asses down there, please, " Captain.
- Now! - Maybe not.
What's up, boy?
- Hey, baby! - Hey, Francine. Where's Howard?
He's down there. He's looking
for you. He's been in better moods.
Get it done, goddamn it.
Welcome to our nightmare, boys.
See this? What's wrong with this picture?
Remember this room?
Don't these flats look familiar?
There were these silver packets. They looked like bricks.
Little red tags on them, about so high.
- All that heroin is gone. - This was our career bust...
worth $ million.
- Gone. - This is bad.
No, let me call it what it is. This is fucked up.
- You got that right, detective. - Hello, Alison.
You guys know Captain Sinclair,
Internal Affairs' top watchdog.
I'd actually take that as a compliment
if I didn't know you so well.
Excuse me, but if you two want to
get personal, I could step out...
There's nothing personal here. I'm just doing my job.
I love knowing that one leak...
one headline could turn this nightmare into a media frenzy.
That won't happen. We'll get the
dope back before that ever happens.
Good. Start by looking right here.
This had to be an inside job, and I'll find out about it.
Sanchez, Ruiz, you're late.
Somebody put this in for toxic drug fumes.
Yeah, this was a brilliant design.
This was really intelligent. I like this.
I didn't ask how he feels. I said, "What did he see?
What does he know?"
Where werey'all last night?
Have your cousins bring the shit
back, and we can all get some sleep.
We were gonna do that, but we came up with a problem.
Your mama snorted up all the dope.
You two, get over there.
O'Fee will be all right, but he's got nothing to tell us.
So they kill a decoy, it empties the station. Very smart.
But they don't kill a real cop because
they had the whole force on their ass.
This was your case. You're back on it.
Sanchez, Ruiz, you back them up with whatever they need.
- Shut your mouths. - But wait a second.
It was Carrera's drugs in the first place.
But it couldn't have been him
because he was killed in prison.
What about the rest of his crew?
Those idiots don't have the precision to do this, but...
just in case I'm wrong, you check them out.
They'd have been up here with Uzis,
splashing O'Fee all over the place.
Takes a lot of brains to pull this off.
- Big cojones too. - What the hell are you talking about?
It would take me a month to explain to you what cojones is.
- You're in Miami. You don't know... - In English.
What's the matter with you? We've got nothing!
The guy who pulled this off knew what he was doing...
and he left us nothing but a big "Fuck you."
Find out who installed the ventilating system. Do that now.
- That's cold. - Yeah, so is your mama's bed.
This could definitely be an inside job. Don't rule it out.
We've got hours before the FBI and the DEA...
walk in here and shut us down, and we'll be the bad guys.
Politics demand that somebody take the rap for this.
It's going to be us. Just do what you do, only faster.
Jo jo, what's up?
You're still a chemist, right?
Cutting drugs and shit like that?
I don't know nothing about that.
I'm out of the drug business.
- You know something. - You don't know nothing?
I just said no to drugs.
- What are you into, Jo? - I'm into rubber.
- You're selling tires? - Yeah.
- Jo jo don't know nothing. - Nothing. I know tires.
- You're telling me the truth? - Would I lie to you?
- Would you lie to me? - I'm driving.
- Man, this is a waste of time. - Come on.
In Max's line of work, she definitely gets the .
Maxi! How did I know I would find you up in here?
We have to talk. Is there someplace we can go?
Yeah. Equipment room?
- Behave your self. - I'm cool.
Listen, I need some help, again.
What else is new?
Major ill shit happened down at the police department.
There's a lot of hero in involved.
There will be a lot of cash involved.
There will definitely be some jolly young
men who want to party.
What do you need?
A lot of people will talk to you that won't talk to me.
You mean customers?
I'm not asking you to get into any wild shit.
- Just call me if you hear something. - I think I will call you.
What the hell are you doing?
Trying to keep my shit quick.
That's right. You ain't getting none at home.
You got extra energy. Go ahead. Burn it off, baby.
We got anything, Francine?
Sanchez says the air-conditioning contract went...
to Manuel Arrona of Key Biscayne.
He's working out of his house this week. That's the number.
He's not answering.
I guess we should just leave.
What? Make a trip all the way down
here to high society for nothing?
That's why they have windows.
- We can peek in. - Yeah, that should do it.
- I tripped. - The handle just opened?
Right after I tripped, it just opened.
I guess they want us to come in, take a peek.
We're your new neighbors.
Don't be alarmed. We're Negroes.
Man, there's too much bass in your voice.
That scares white folks. You've got to sound like them.
We were wondering if we could borrow some brown sugar?
- You fart? - No, man.
Looks like somebody's home.
Let me take a stab at this one.
He sells the ventilation plans to the bad guys.
- He gets rich, but he gets dead. - You're right on that one.
- I'll go call Homicide. - Whoa. Wait.
Why do you act like this every
time we're around a dead body?
It's cool. I just...
Please, look around.
The smell and the fumes...
It's just unexpected, that's all.
Looks like our buddy Arrona was a bit of a gambler.
He's got dog track, jai alai.
Probably needed the money to pay off his debts.
- Whoops. - Damn, man.
Watch where you're swinging a dead leg.
Damn this. I'm calling Homicide.
I'm a narcotics cop.
- What's wrong with you? - A little nauseous...
What do you say we grab a couple burritos?
You drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy.
Man, the transaction is done, all right?
- We ain't got shit, so it's over. - Relax.
We got it before. We'll get it again.
Yeah, you got it all figured out, don't you?
You got to have faith, player.
By the time we figured out how, we'd be out of a job.
No, scratch that. Everybody in
the damn unit will be out of a job.
But don't worry. They tend to
think Mike Lowrey will be all right.
Especially since they think you some rich kid playing cop.
Look, man, I ain't got no trust fund.
For me: No job, no check.
That's like all the other guys in the unit. Most of us.
So I'm playing cop now?
This is a game. I'm just joking around.
You always wanted to be Starsky or Hutch.
Know what? I'm so sick of this bullshit.
I'm supposed to apologize for
my family leaving me money?
All I ever wanted to be was a cop.
I get up early and take it to the max every day.
I'm the first guy through the door
and the last to leave the crime scene...
so fuck you and fuck them...
and fuck everybody who got a problem with Mike Lowrey.
- I love you, man. - Fuck you, Marcus.
I do. You're cool with me. You're my partner.
Shut up. Slow-ass driver.
- Driving like a bitch. - Why I got to be all that?
- Slow-ass Miss Daisy. - I'll take me and you off this cliff...
you keep fucking with me.
Then it will be two bitches in the sea.
- Is that what you want? - Shut up.
My wife know I ain't no bitch.
- Yeah. - I'm a bad boy.
Badboys, badboys What you gonna do
What you gonna do when they come for you
Shelly, only models, and that's all.
Max just dropped by. I have to go.
You want me to call around looking for the newly rich?
Are there any new guys partying
a lot, spending a lot of money?
Actually, this guy called me this morning, desperate...
every two hours... looking for new girls in town.
Are you available this afternoon?
- It will be a quick $ . - I've got plans with Julie.
- She's your roommate, right? - Yeah.
Bring her. She's cute. She's sexy. Go on.
- She's not a working girl, Lois. -
Doesn't matter. He's on speedballs.
He's probably so messed up, he can't even get it up.
Maybe we'll go check it out.
It could be the party I'm looking for.
A party at the Bilt more? That will really rock.
- Julie, I owe you one. - Forget about it.
I'll just deduct it from the hundreds
off avors I already owe you.
Am I turning into the guest that won't leave?
I like having you live with me.
I'm an out-of-work photographer
who doesn't know how to cook.
- Not a big upside for you there. - Come on.
What incredibly hip individual
inspired this visit to the Bilt more?
- It's a favor for Mike Lowrey. - Right.
The cop who I think you may be a little bit in love with.
Maybe I am, but we're just friends.
And if I were ever in trouble, he's
the only person I would call.
I know. I think I've heard this before.
- Hello. - Hi.
You must be Max.
Welcome. I'm Eddie.
The Al Capone suite.
- I guess we're a little early. - This is my friend, Julie.
You like Al Capone, don't you?
I hadn't really thought about it much.
I'm not kidding about this being Capone's.
He had the place rigged with secret passageways.
Ten minutes, we're out of here.
- Five. - One drink.
- What's the whispering about? - One sip.
It's Eddie here.
Just girl chat.
Where's the bathroom?
Upstairs on your right.
Watch your step.
Enjoy your self. Relax.
Eddie's got some favors to play with.
Yes, Eddie does.
I should have told you sooner about Eddie's private party.
Now it's a surprise party.
Okay, Max, we've been here about five minutes too long.
I see you treat your self well.
I needed to blow off a little steam
after the move, you know?
So a little party with a couple of friends. That's all.
I was gonna invite you guys.
Invite? It looks like I'm catering this.
I was looking for my two keys of dope,
and now I know where they are.
Yours? It's our score.
- And the girl? - Nobody.
- Just entertainment. - Hi, I'm Max.
Nice to meet you.
I like a woman who takes pride in her appearance.
Yeah, I hate when a bitch lets her self slide.
You look like a model in that dress.
Will you model for me, Max?
Great. It's the goon squad.
You were a cop for so long, you should know hookers talk.
You couldn't wait four more days until I made the deal?
I can't work with that kind of stupidity!
Stupidity? I got you connected inside!
I brought you my family.
Eddie, it's my family now.
Fouchet, we're still friends.
- What are you guys doing? - You pissed him off.
Use a smaller gun. You got blood on me again.
- Somebody's upstairs. - Where? Go!
Get her! Move, Fergie!
What the fuck?
Fucking shoes suck! Get her!
- God! - Move it!
- I got her. Bullshit. - I got her.
No, I got her. What do you know about shooting?
I can't believe she made it.
- Jesus. - Are you serious?
- She jumped. - Fuck.
Find out who she worked for and where she lives.
It's about fucking time. Lowrey, Burnett, come here!
Look at this. You see this guy?
- He's dead, right? - Yeah.
- He look familiar? - Eddie Dominguez.
- The ex-cop. - Two points for you.
There's some of our high-grade heroin over there.
Sinclair will love that headline.
There's no signs of forced entry.
What the fuck is all this? It looks like Beirut.
It's the Al Capone suite.
What can I say? Shit happens.
This is a real shitty day.
Looks like we have two shades of lipstick here, gentlemen.
Somebody is missing from the party.
Listen to me.
Your only function in life right now
is to find that person. Find her.
It's the only good lead we got all day.
Man, I'll check all calls to the room.
What you got over there, partner?
He knew the girl?
we'll get the witness and the fools who did this.
Yeah. Listen, catch a ride with Howard.
- Where you going? - Eight calls were made to Lois Fields.
That's who Max used to work for. I'll check that out.
- I'll come with you. - I'm all right. We'll catch up later.
- You okay? - I'm cool.
Yeah, baby. Look, I know quality time was my idea.
- Don't talk about quality time. - But... Hold on, baby.
Look here, I need a full file on Eddie Dominguez.
- That will take a minute. - Hold on.
- Marcus, I got on there done. - Baby?
You have on the red one? The one with the snaps?
- Why couldn't you wait till... - You're never home.
- Theresa... Hold on. - All his file sareblocked.
I don't give a damn about his personal files.
- The man's dead. Unblock it. - Screw you. That's illegal.
- Fucking... - Marcus, are you talking tome?
I'm not talking to... It's a term you use, baby.
- "Screw you" is a cop term. - You ain't screwing nothing!
I just paged him.
He's following up this Lois Fields lead.
- request backup. Reach Road.
Don't mess with us.
That might be him.
Yeah. Lowrey's desk.
I need to talk to Detective Mike Lowrey.
This is Captain Howard. Can I help you?
You can get me Lowrey.
This is not another paternity case, is it?
No, it's another murder case, you twerp.
Are you talking about the murder
case at the Biltmore Hotel tonight?
Listen, I've just seen my best friend get murdered...
and I'll only talk to Mike Lowrey.
Why only Mike Lowrey? I have a detective here...
None of your fucking business.
Either I talk to Lowrey or I'm blowing town.
He's coming right now. Hold on, please.
- Talk to her. - I ain't got time for these games.
This is the witness, the girl at the hotel.
Yeah, he just got out of the john. Hold on. Talk to her.
- If you don't talk to her, she'll
walk. - Captain, I can't be Mike.
Just talk to her now. She's gonna walk.
- This is our witness. - Calm down.
Hello. This is Mike Lowrey.
He doesn't talk that way. Try to talk sexy.
- Come on. - You don't sound sexy enough.
Captain! I've been there.
You don't know me. My name's Julie Mott.
I was Max Logan's best friend.
Whoa. Calm down. Talk to me now.
- Yeah. - She said if she ever needed anything...
I need your help.
Give me the address. All right.
It's gonna be all right. Mike's to the rescue.
- I'm on the way. All right. - I'll see if I can find Lowrey.
- I can't go. - You have to go.
- Go! - Get Mike down here to handle this.
Get to this address now. Get out of the chair.
- You won't see your wife for a month! - Goddamn it, man.
Get this fucking door fixed.
- Who's there? - Mike Lowrey.
How do I know it's Mike Lowrey?
'Cause I'm Mike Lowrey.
We ain't got much time.
Hold your badge up to the peephole.
I'm not letting you in until you do!
- What was that for? - You're not Mike Lowrey!
What do you mean? You never even met him... me.
- Max described you differently! - I'm undercover!
- All right! - Prove it!
I knew Max from way back.
- I helped her brother get out of jail. - Yeah, so?
So, from time to time, we'd get
together, a little bump and grind.
- Wrong. - Give me that!
Give me the bat! You want to go out? Fine!
You don't want to believe me, you go at this shit alone!
I forgot! The bad guys probably know where you live.
Which means they're coming for your ass. Good luck.
I saw the whole thing.
I watched them shoot her like she was nothing.
Please shut the door.
do you have any more bats, golf clubs...
or anything like that you could swing at me?
I knew Max.
I care about Max also.
I'm just here to help you.
You're not what I expected.
I didn't expect to walk into Yankee Stadium either.
Now, we have to get out of here. Let's go.
I have to get my dogs. Come here, Dukie.
Come here, Lukie, Dukie, whatever.
You got a back door?
Where are we going?
- Protective custody. - Fuck that. I'm only dealing with you.
That was a cop that threw that
little party back at the Biltmore.
Former cop. We got rid of him a long time ago.
- Come on, Luke. - Listen, lady.
If you want to live, you ain't got
no choice. You got to trust me.
- My God! - Go!
- Get the dog! - Here, doggie!
Jesus Christ! Who the hell was that?
- Let's go! - There is too much killing going on!
- Go after them! I'll go around front! - I got them!
Come on! Move your ass! Let's go!
- Get in the car! - Damn it.
- Go, goddamn it! - Fucking door!
How did you miss them? You fat fuck!
Watch your fucking mouth!
If you'd lose some weight, you would have caught them!
I'd like to squeeze your little fucking head, you bastard!
Now you're in fucking trouble!
- You get the license plate? - Yeah, I got the fucking plate.
You cockeyed fuck.
This is your getaway car?
We won't get away from anything in this.
Is this a goddamn family station wagon?
My God, you have a baby seat in the back.
It's an undercover car.
Shit! I know they got a look at my license plate.
Were those the guys who shot Max?
What guys? I only saw bullets.
You tell me what they looked like.
I don't know! I was too busy trying
to keep a bullet out your ass!
Julie, I'll need you to look through some mug shots...
until you can identify Max's shooter.
- Where will we do that? - Protective custody.
No way! I told you I am not going into protective custody!
Look, lady, I'm not playing. You're really pissing me off!
I'll book your narrow ass!
Yeah? I'll develop amnesia.
I suddenly feel a little case of it coming on right now.
Fine, lady. Where would you feel safe?
You want to do protective custody?
We'll do in-home protective custody.
At your place, all right? I can handle going to your place.
Yeah, my place.
My place is... No way.
Right. My place. Yeah, my place is shit.
Mike Lowrey place. You right.
That's the best idea you came up with tonight.
- Detective Burnett, how are you ? - I'm cool.
- Mr. Lowrey's not here. He's out. - I know.
- He said I could use his place tonight. - Really?
He didn't mention it to me.
Who's the chick? How's your wife?
Your kids are good?
- Family's the most important thing. - Is it?
Mr. Lowrey told me you got a baby
factory going on at your house.
- Is that true? - Here you go.
If that ain't enough, I'll run you in for extortion.
You know, I'm so stupid sometimes.
- Are you ? - Now that you mention it...
Mr. Lowrey did mention you coming by tonight.
What did he say? Did he say he had a key?
- Hang out. Here you go. - Hang out?
- Is this it? - Yeah. You're hurting me.
- Thank you . - Good to see you.
- Good to see you . - Have fun.
- It's not like that. - Sure.
Yeah, come on. Watch your step walking through.
Damn, I must have left some incense burning.
Welcome to Casa de Lowrey.
This is kind of...
I'm always moving my switches.
I'm always decorating, so sometimes
I just don't know where shit is.
Why am I tripping on shit I know is there?
You found a light switch.
I should have known it was there
since I decorated the place.
Hi, Mike. This is Yvette.
Ignore this. It's one of my freaks, Yvette.
She's always calling. Got to have it.
Don't call no more now, freak.
- All this on a cop's salary? - I feel like having your ight now...
It's honest money.
I'm a second generation rich kid.
So if you're not in it for the paycheck...
are you some kind of action junkie?
Yeah. If that's what you want to call it.
I don't mind bats swung at my head,
bullets damn near grazing my ass.
Gives me a rush. Look...
let me give you a broad stroke of the place.
Got some T-bones in the fridge for Luke and Dukie.
Sorry. Your fridge is this way.
- I confuse my own shit. - Wait a minute.
- You're leaving me here alone? -
Yeah, I have to get back to work.
- These are Miami's peak crime hours. - Apparently.
They said that this deal was going down in four days.
I obviously seem to be kind of a major glitch...
You ain't with the bad guys now.
You're with the cops...
with Mike Lowrey.
Everything will be all right. Trust me.
I'll be back.
I know there's no time to joke, but remember in the movie...
Thanks for everything, Mike.
- Chet. - That was quick. You one of those guys?
- In and out. - It's not like that.
The girl's a witness. I need you to keep an eye out.
- No problem. - Now listen to me.
- Hear me. That's right. - Me?
The moment Lowrey gets in, have him call me at home.
- At my home. - Call you at home.
Use this phone. Do not let him go upstairs.
Don't let him go upstairs? But he lives here.
I don't want to argue with Mr. Lowrey. I could lose my job.
Trust me on this, okay?
Call you from here. Don't let him up.
- No problem. - Important witness.
I got a better idea. I'm getting off in two hours.
Lf you want, I could go upstairs and watch the door.
Like the cops do in the movies? They sit on a stool?
I got a magazine and everything.
I don't let anybody in or out.
Seriously, all kidding aside, I want to help.
You're helping. Can you do it from here?
- Yeah, I can do it from here. - Fine.
- That helps. From here, okay? - All right.
It's funny that you ask me, because I was going to be a cop.
I took the test.
Just didn't work out. Politics.
Yeah. I know.
- You're my deputy. - I'm your deputy.
- Watch out for everything. - You got it.
Take care, Chief.
I'm a deputy.
Don't "honey baby" me. You smell like perfume.
It was just...
You don't even have your wedding ring on!
I went undercover.
It required taking off the ring
for a second, but I got the ring.
I just put my hand in my pocket
because that's where it was...
and it's right back on, baby.
Can I get a pillow?
If it isn't the guy who doesn't return phone calls.
Where have you been the last hours?
I've been paging you all night.
We got a situation here you need to know about.
Look, I got a dead madam...
I got a concussion and I got a real bad headache.
You got a headache? Let me tell you what I did last night.
I had to sleep on my couch.
I wake up with a Power Ranger stuck up my ass.
And while we're discussing my
ass, I damn near got it blown off.
But the good news is I got a witness.
Let me tell you about this witness. She likes to...
- You sound like a nagging wife. - I'm nagging.
You see what happens when you go
off with out me? You get into shit.
Like shit don't happen when you're there.
That ain't the point.
The point is if your partner pages you ...
you might want to get back to your partner.
I want to meet the man who whupped your ass.
I want to meet who whupped Shaft's ass.
Look at me, man. You don't know what I've been through.
My wife kicked me out of the house,
kicked me out of my happy home.
But you got to go off by your self. "I got this, partner."
I am feeling much better, though, thank you.
- Yeah. - And I'll get his ass.
Be cool. Watch your self.
What did I say? Did you hear what I said?
I heard what I said 'cause I was
standing there when I said it.
I told you to secure a witness.
Not to shoot up a neighborhood!
Not to do another dead body!
Just get the dope back, and do it quietly.
Look, Captain, this whole situation is getting out of control.
- You're goddamn right! - Look, man...
I damn near had to pass a pop
quiz before she believed I was him.
Going, going... Shit. A little off.
I haven't killed anybody yet today, Captain.
Do you want me to yell at you ? I can do that.
Let me tell you something. This
witness is my only good news.
You guys are bad news. So what does that mean?
Lf you have to be Mike Lowrey, Santa Claus, FD Hutton...
that's what you're gonna be!
Wait a minute. What the hell is going on here?
I was getting them all in before you showed up.
Can somebody talk to me, please?
Can I know what's going on?
Captain, these fools could have got
a look at my license plate last night.
Where's the girl now?
- His place. - What?
You left her by herself? Our only fucking witness?
You left a strange hooker alone in my apartment?
The girl is not a hooker, as far as I know.
I had to stash her somewhere; her
and her dogs, Luke and Dukie.
So you left dogs in my house?
There's dogs and a hooker in my house?
How about you add some chimps? We can have a carnival.
I said she isn't a hooker.
- Can you please... - Shut up!
For years, Sinclair has been up my
ass, trying to pin something on me.
I'm always taking it for you . Do it for me!
If we get this witness to identify the shooters...
maybe we catch our bad guys.
But until then, you are Mike Lowrey.
You be him. That's what you are. You're him.
I don't want to hear it. And you ...
You're you . You be you , but not in front of her.
You're him! You're you!
Can we get a time-out, Captain?
Am I the designated homeless?
Does it look like I care?
Whatever it takes, all right?
What did she say to you ? The shooters
are making their drop in four days?
So we got four days.
Captain, what kind of plan is that?
I can't be shacked up with that woman.
I have a family to look after. My wife will kill my ass!
You don't like your job? Quit.
Look, I'll stay at the house with Theresa and the kids.
Thank you , but no thanks.
You wouldn't last five minutes with my family.
Please, married life is easy. You
only got one woman to satisfy.
Yo, man. We ain't the Cosbys.
Let's go. I got this.
Every body wants to be like Mike.
Yeah, and you're gonna be retired like him too.
I'd have dunked it on your ass.
Cleveland? I have never...
Look, woman, I done told you.
It's a federal subpoena.
Am I supposed to tell them no?
I don't know what you'll tell them. Why can't he go?
- Why can't you go? - I wanted to...
but Captain Howard said I'm irresponsible.
No, he said, "A loose cannon,"
because I've been shooting in public.
- Out of now here sometimes. - Mike, please.
Look, baby, the neighborhood has had a lot of break-ins.
I can handle it. I don't need Mike to handle it.
I know you can handle it, but I'm worrying about me.
Mike's going to stay here with you
and the kids, take care of y'all...
just till I come back.
Who will pick the kids up from day care and all that?
- Mike can't do it. - Are you listening to me? I said...
I read a book that could probably help y'all. I saw it on...
Mike, can you go down and have a Coke and a smile?
- Please? - All right.
Y'all want something?
Bring me a Coke.
- Baby, you want a Coke? - I'm fine, thank you.
Explain it to me, Elliot.
We've got a problem with our chemistry set?
It's not a chemistry set.
He knows it ain't a chemistry set, asshole.
What is it?
The cutting agent is a highlyvolatile substance.
- The ether... - I don't care.
I'm not a fucking chemistry teacher.
- What is the problem? - There's too much moisture here.
- Yeah, it's totally fucked. - You shut up!
It's taking longer to cook than we originally planned.
If we rush it, we'll have a lot of drugs we can't sell.
You're fucking with my timetable. I gave you a deadline.
- Do you understand? - Yeah, I understand.
- You dressed? - Yeah. I am.
Look, we have to go through some mug shots.
I'll hook into the computer. We can do this.
Mike, who's the guy in all the photographs?
Sometimes I don't even look at my shelves.
I forget all the pictures were here.
That's my partner, Marcus Burnett.
I've never seen anything like this before.
I can see how it may throw you a little bit.
It's a cop thing.
These pictures are up here for every time he saved my life.
Lf you go to his place ain't nothing but pictures of me.
It's like a shrine. Just a reminder.
Because when I saw it, and it was the whole wall...
I thought maybe they were pictures of your lover.
- Of who? - I thought maybe you were gay.
That I was gay? No, baby.
I didn't mean to offend you . It's okay to be a homosexual.
You're not listening. It's not registering.
Believe me. Did you sleep in the bed?
Didn't you feel the dents? The dents come from all that.
That's how I get down.
If I was, I'd change the drapes in this motherfucker.
- Want some? - No, thanks. I don't eat flesh.
That's flesh that you're shoveling into your mouth.
That was a living, breathing creature.
It probably had a name.
It's just baloney.
My baloney has a first name.
Actually, your baloney has about names...
because they take odd parts from all different ones...
Like the leftovers: The hooves and stomach lining...
ears, stuff like that.
They put it into this machine and grind it all up.
Then out comes this sheet.
That's what you're eating now.
You know what? I won't eat baloney no more.
How about a pickle? Can I eat it?
It has a lot of salt, but it's fine. It is a vegetable.
A lot of salt in the pickle? Let me rinse it off.
There we go.
- Just keep going. - I don't even taste the salt now.
That's the guy.
He was there in the room.
We got a tip they were running major
drugs, something like keys.
So we step to the door. Boom!
Freeze! Miami Police Department! Get down!
Out of now here, this little crazy pimp
named Chino punched me in the head.
Chino had been running whores.
Your dad will explain that to you.
Look at it. Your dogs are shitting all over my place.
It doesn't help when you shell ack
it in with furniture polish.
There's a piece right there. Please, get that.
- Fine. - It looks like a chip of shit.
Can I please have the parole jacket on Noah Trafficante?
- Thank you . - You know what?
I'm getting tired of this witness.
I want to get back to my life the way it was.
I'm tired. I got married so I could stop lying.
I cannot believe you're complaining.
You got it easy compared to me,
living in that zoo you call home.
Why you have to call my place a zoo?
- I'm tired of you saying that. - You want to fight me.
- Don't call my place a zoo. - Listen... Francine, please...
- That's my silk shirt, man! - Yeah, it is kind of nice.
Since I'm gonna be like Mike, I
might as well dress like Mike.
I wanna be like Mike
You're sick. Something is wrong with you.
You have a problem, and you should have your self checked.
- Here's the file. He works at Club Hell. - Thank you.
Take care of this, please.
- I've got to call the wife. - Whose wife?
Can you please do some work?
One time today, just do something.
- Do something that helps this case. - Boy...
You look real handsome today.
See, it's not that kind of day.
Leave me the fuck alone.
Seriously. All right?
- What's up? PMS? - Damn the jokes.
Ring it. I ain't in the mood.
Yeah, that's cool. Hold on.
All right. Write it down.
- How are things going with the
kids? - They're fine. You okay?
- How's potty training going? - Slowly but surely.
- You are so silly. - Are you going to be late tonight?
It will be : : before I get in.
- Later. - Don't wait up. I'll be all right.
Why don't you rent a movie?
Something we can kick back to.
- What you wearing? - Give me the phone!
- Baby! - She hung up a long time ago.
I was playing.
Hey, man, don't play like that.
That's my family. Don't break up a happy home.
Stop wearing my clothes then.
Everybody's about the jokes today, ain't they? Hello?
I cannot believe this.
This Eddie Dominguez file cannot be that hard to get into.
I've tried three times. I just can't get in.
Besides, this is illegal.
Yeah, that never stopped you before.
Just let me know if you get anything.
Anything for you , but I can't get in. I tried.
What's up, Chet?
The Lowrey Brothers.
Let's just get down to Club Hell and pick up Noah.
Julie, it's me.
You're supposed to be getting us
into this Eddie Dominguez file.
It's gonna be a day or two before I can get Fletch out.
- We don't have a day or two. - I'm not the computerwhiz.
It's gonna take a while before we can hack the computer.
- You're not taking care of shit. - Mike,
I was thinking about something...
- You must be Marcus. - I'm Marcus.
- That's right. - Right.
Julie. All right. It's nice to meet you.
You too. I recognize you from every one of the photographs.
Yeah. He's my man, so we...
All those on the wall.
- Yeah. - You must be very good.
As a partner. Your job, what you do.
What time are we doing this thing tonight?
- Excuse me? - Mike said we were going to a club.
Yeah. "We" as in me and my partner.
You wanted home protective custody. You're at my house.
That's just great.
So I'll just stay here again...
with Chet the mini-moron doorman to protect me?
Chet is very good.
I'm sorry. That looks like a stain on your rug.
- Damn. - That was my baby, Luke.
He gets kind of nervous in new surroundings.
- He just shits, huh? - Yeah.
It's like marking his territory. It's sort of a male thing.
I offered to pay Mike for the
cleaning, and he wouldn't hear of it.
- I'm getting rid of it. - Yeah, you don't need that.
I'm throwing that out anyway. I just want a new look.
Mike is a special guy. Boy, Mike is special.
I call him "Special Mike."
It's funny how you can just laugh at that.
That's why I love him. Now, me?
I'd be pissed.
- Look at this cute dog on the couch. - That's Luke.
- Look how he crawls on the leather. -
You want to meet Duke? He's in bed.
He's been feeling upset and having diarrhea...
and throwing up all morning.
Let's go see if little Duke is gonna be okay, shall we?
Me and you.
- Lady, who are you ? - Who the hell are you?
- You have to get out. - Get your hands off me!
- Lady, don't push me! - I'm Yvette.
- You're not any Yvette I know. - What are you doing?
Get out of here, all right?
Lf you don't stop stalking me, I'll
arrest your ass, you old psycho!
- You asshole! - Woman's into some weird shit.
- What is going on out here? - Excuse me.
That was crazy Yvette...
Yvette? I forgot she was coming. You threw her out?
Yvette is a masseuse.
She massages shit.
- She told me. - Listen...
are there any other totally hysterical...
half-naked women popping by
tonight that I should know about?
- She was naked? - Titties were out a little bit.
You threw Yvette out naked?
You're something... My wife would
hate... She hates womanizers.
- There's something wrong with you . - There is?
You don't respect other people's
shit. I've told you that for years.
Ever since we started, you always have your trash all over.
Me and my partner...
are going to Club Hell to bust this fool Noah.
Does anybody have a problem with that?
Don't blow the case.
Frank, here's the deal: You stay put.
Anybody tells you to move, don't.
Tell them you're making a delivery
for Mr. Fouchet. You got it?
Jeez. It's ether! It will explode!
Don't even breathe, you knucklehead!
I remember you.
Check it. We got two days left. Let's try to do this right.
No gunshots, no dead bodies.
I'm not trying to lose my job on this one.
If I recall correctly, the last couple
dead bad guys belonged to you.
And next time you have to kill them...
do it after you get the information we need.
That's just a suggestion.
Please. You ain't even trying to compare body counts.
One... Should I keep going? Damn, I'm out.
This guy Noah's parole jacket says he works in there.
We're standing out front arguing
like a couple of school girls.
Why don't we put an end to all this bickering?
- All right. - ' Cause you're getting on my nerves.
- Look at you . Can you stay focused? - What? I'm focused!
Yeah, focused on all this scattered ass here.
Let's do what we came to do and get out of here.
- Simple. - Fine. Let's split up, check around.
- Meet me at the bar in ten minutes. - Fine.
Holy shit. What the hell is he doing? Man!
That's the cop! There he is! See him?
- That's him! - Yeah, I'm going!
Budweiser. Feel like I had a million of them.
What's up, motherfucker?
Tell me where the dough is, jack-off!
Next time learn how to work the safety with your punk ass!
I'll be back.
- Who whupped your ass now? -
This really ain't the fucking time.
They know. Let's get Noah and get out of here.
The girl! The bitch from the rooftop!
- Let's go! - That was the guy who shot Max!
The truck! Let's take the truck!
Move! We're really in a hurry.
- Let's go! - You're cops! Why are we running away?
- He's in there! - Here! Go!
This is good. Noah's chasing us!
What was that?
That was- - I don' t know.
But I had a good shot at him if your
friend Action Jackson over here...
This is official police business!
You had no business in there!
And can you please drive this thing?
Don't bring it here, all right?
You picked this slow-ass ice cream truck!
- What am I smelling? - Just drive!
Ether. Extremely flammable ether.
- Shit. - Goddamn.
You the man! You the fucking man tonight!
You pick an ice cream truck that's a damn bomb!
- This is protective custody? - Yes!
You better do something, boy! We're running out of road!
Who picked this road?
All the road in Miami, and you're running out of it!
- You better get an idea fast! - Why
are the ideas always up to me?
- Take this shit! - It's a dead end! There's no more road!
We're out of fucking road!
- Motherfucker's gonna blow! - Get the fuck out!
Should I add this to your body count?
There goes our only lead to the dope.
Ain't this a bitch?
What are you talking about?
How about there goes our only lead to Max's killer?
He's still out there.
But that's not really important.
It's not like it's your job to protect people. Holy shit.
- She's crazy. - I'm crazy?
- You're gone! - I'm out of here!
- What is wrong with you ? Stop!
- She done fucking zoomed!
- This is the witness! - That's it. You deal with her.
- No way. - Listen.
- Bullshit. - Yes, you're right.
This started because of missing
drugs, but let me tell you something.
There is absolutely nothing more important to Mike...
than doing this guy that killed Max.
I know he has a hard time expressing his feelings.
Come on. It will be all right, okay?
We need you.
Part of the team.
I thought he was supposed to be the smooth one.
- This has not been a good day.
- Damn right. This is bullshit.
We got two days to find these fools...
and we got no leads because you
cooked Noah's ass on the freeway.
- Shampoo? - Hello.
- There. - Let's do that.
It don't take that long to get shampoo.
- Please, let's go. - Look at this.
Do you know how many chemicals are in this stuff?
I don't care if you go bald. Just get it and let's go.
He is a chemist.
That's entirely too much heroin and too much ether...
for nobody to know nothing.
What is he talking about?
You know the barrels of ether that
blew up on the ice cream truck?
They were going to use that to process the heroin.
Yeah, they do that to cut it. It quadruples the value.
Yeah, you can't just stick it in the microwave.
Maybe you're onto something.
Let's just pay for this, all right?
- How much is that? - Fourteen twenty-five.
Damn. I must have left my wallet somewhere.
Freeze, mother bitches! Don't you move.
- I'm not understanding. I really don't. - Shut up!
- Do you just attract violent people? - Take it easy, all right?
- We are police officers. - You're not police officers.
- I'm not stupid. I've seen police. - What are you?
- I'm going to reach for my badge.
- You want badges, mother bitch?
I give you badges! Here!
Ninety-nine cents each! I sell you some!
You got eight badges! I told you this cop thing don't work.
I blow you ! Then I blow you!
Blow me? What the fuck? Hump me. That's all right.
I'm from the Middle East! I kill before. I kill again!
- Fuck me, please! Hold on! - No, you hold on!
Do you see the emotion I'm going through now?
That means this shit is serious.
Me and this mother fucker's not vibing
right now. That's what that means.
- You got something on your
chest? - That's what I'm saying!
- Hello? The guy has got a cannon. - What do you want?
- Do you want some? Come get some. - I want some!
- I'm gone. - Freeze, bitch!
- You freeze, bitch! - Oh, shit. I'm fucked.
Now back up, put the gun down...
and give me a pack of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious.
And some Skittles.
Hell of a night. I'm going to bed.
So make your self at home. It's your bed.
I'll sit down for a minute...
'cause I'm guarding shit, you know.
I'm watching out for the bad boys.
I can see things, you know...
real well from my "peripheals."
You know, for such a stud, Mike Lowrey...
you sure seem a little rigid about having a girl in your bed.
Who? Me? Mike Lowrey?
I'm not rigid. I'm comfortable.
This is my bed.
- Why would I be uncomfortable? - I don't know.
I think it's more than just wired.
Maybe it was all the guns and stuff.
I've never really shot a gun
before, and that's... All that steel.
I'm feeling... Don't you feel a little funny?
- I'm not a comedian, but... - I don't mean that kind of funny.
I mean like funny.
Now, you don't want that.
'Cause when I come...
I come with the thunder.
You sound like you're saving your self for marriage.
That ain't me. That's Marcus.
You know what I'm saying? He's the married one.
I got some other... Oh, no.
I've seen it now. Turn the page, girl.
I cannot believe he wore his Afro that big.
- I forgot all about that. - I think he looked cute like that.
What's Marcus's wife like?
She's like a wife.
I mean, she must be pretty
amazing to keep a guy like Marcus.
- Keep a guy like what? - Like watching him tonight...
He's very sort of take-charge.
The way he was throwing guys this way and that.
There's something about him. I don't know what it is.
He's so smooth, you know?
Boy, I bet his wife's...
enjoying the smoothness right this minute.
- He's got a quality women respond to. - Sure.
I can't imagine the kind of woman...
that wouldn't find Marcus attractive.
Probably couldn't be around him and just...
You know, like our situation.
- If two people were alone... - Not with a guy like that.
What is wrong with him? This one
goes on the bulletin board at work.
Uh-uh. Don't do that.
Putitback in. I cannot be lieve you took it out.
Come on. Marcus will kill us if he finds out. Give it to me.
I can't be lieve I let you see it.
Got some jewelry for you . I'm sorry, but damn that.
I think we need to address the serious
lack of trust in this relationship.
- Please. - I don't think this is legal.
I won't be long. It's legal. Out of sight.
Sanchez, this is Lowrey. Yeah, your mother. Listen.
These guys are about to make a move.
Blue convertible, two visible
occupants. Check it out, all right?
Here we go.
- Is that our guy? - That's him.
- Where's the girl? - I don't see any girl. There's no girl.
Fuck off, barking-ass dog. Shut up.
Sneak up on my own house.
What in the world? Very strange.
His ass upstairs. Supposed to be my boy.
Ducking and weaving up and down.
Look at this shit. Is this what you want?
Got me climbing like a chimp.
But I ain't going out like that.
It don't take anybody that long to get into bed.
Got my babies in the house.
Your man can't get no quality time...
but my partner can get some quality time.
I don't play that shit.
- There's somebody out there. - Quick, get the kids.
I knew it! I didn't have to call the fucking psychic line!
- Move and you're a dead man! - Motherfucker!
Gun up to his head. They're going
to shoot each other. Unbelievable.
- Miami Police! Freeze! - I am the police!
- Marcus, what are you doing? - You're doing Theresa!
- I'm not! - Nobody does my baby!
We could sneak up and snuff them both right now.
Yeah, but we're supposed to get the girl. Forget them.
Never fuck with a cop's family, asshole.
- Doesn't that piss you off? - That pisses the fuck out of me.
Don't get me started. Get out of the car.
Fuck it! Some shit is making you crazy.
You know there's nothing going
on between me and Theresa!
Man, I've been your partner for six years...
and I've been your boy all my life.
For you to even think...
To let some dumb shit like that creep up in your mind...
This is me! What is wrong with you?
It was just... I don't know.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Get the fuck out of here. Where's Julie?
She's in the car, handcuffed to the steering wheel.
Are you trying to blow this case?
My bad, man. I ain't had no quality time.
You know how that is. Sometimes you do dumb shit.
- Let's go. - That's all that is.
Yo, my bad.
Go. All right. Yeah.
These calls were made to Club Hell...
from this precinct.
I'll ask you one more time. Give me a goddamn name!
- All I know is his name. - Give me his name.
You're looking at a lot of time. You know that?
Fouchet, I think.
That's his whole name?
I'm just an errand boy.
Stop it, please. You're gonna make me cry.
I swear, watching the house was my first gig.
How sweet. Does that make you union?
Lf you were a real cop in the field working every day...
you'd realize that sometimes shit happens.
Don't give me that crap. You're
on your way to being reassigned.
- Shut down soon. - Who will reassign me? You?
You don't have the authority to reassign me.
Until you do, stay the hell out of here!
They should just bone and get that shit over with.
I'm getting really tired of this.
These guard dogs aren't cutting
it. They're overfed. They're lazy.
These guard dogs aren't cutting
it. They're overfed. They're lazy.
We need video surveillance 'cause
these guard dogs are nothing...
Jo jo. Don't make this hard!
Nice running into you.
Always making it hard on your self.
Gee, Julie, what have you been up to the last couple days?
Nothing. Just hanging out, handcuffed to steering wheels.
We're looking for someone who
can step on a shit load of heroin.
Do it real fast, real well. We're looking for a real pro.
I told you already, I'm in the rubber business now.
Jo jo, we're not playing.
I'm straight, man.
I'm straight like a board, like an arrow.
I'm so straight right now, I'm sick.
It's a lot of dope. Who could cut it real quick?
"Cut it"? You cut it up?
- I don't know nothing about it. - I'm so sick of this bullshit.
- What's up? - You're pulling a gun on me?
You guys are cops! I can't believe this!
I should turn you in to Hard Copy.
- Put your ass on the TV set! - What are you doing?
I got this! I got bullets in this gun.
Lf you don't start talking to me,
I'll fill your ass full of hot shit.
- Now, what's up? - Mike, he ain't worth it!
Do you want some? I'll bust your ass too!
So sad. You're on your own, Jojo.
- What's up? - I'm telling you like this.
You splatter his ass, he's no good to us!
Fuck that. I'm not going down over this shit!
I'm not going down for you killing Jojo the tire man!
I don't want no brain fragments on me!
That shit gets in your clothes, and it stinks!
- Fuck that! - I'll tell you what I know.
I don't know everything. I know a little bit.
Tell him something!
It's three guys. They got a laboratory...
No, it's two guys.
One guy died in a plane crash last year. It was fucked up.
There should be more! Fuck, man!
It's one guy, really. It's only one guy.
- Don't fuck with me. - One main guy.
This guy's an Einstein, motherfucking genius college boy.
Egghead motherfucker. He got four eyes and glasses.
He got a rich mama and daddy
who live out in Coconut Grove.
Where? Tell him again, Jojo!
- I don't want you to get hurt! - I'll tell you where he's at.
- You would do that for us? - Yeah, I want to help you guys.
You stick that gun down.
I got the address in the office.
Thanks a lot. You go grab that.
- Cool. - You can go ahead.
- Now? - Now is real good.
Yeah. This is on me too.
You guys pick out some whitewalls
as a little gift from me to you.
You made me think you would shoot me for a minute.
When is this punk-ass chemist coming home?
So this is a stakeout. Not what I imagined.
Thought there would be more conversation.
Sorry it's not up to your usual high standards.
Is he always like this on a stakeout?
Too much caffeine? Not enough sex?
I can't believe she went there on you.
You know who you're talking to?
That's Mike Lowrey over there.
Why don't you whip it out for her, big boy?
Uh-huh. Right on your forehead.
- Shut up. - Yeah.
- There he is! Let's go! Move! - I'm on him!
What are our chances?
Remember Club Hell? Worse.
That's it. I'm calling major backup.
- I want swimming ducks in here. - Whoa.
Hold it. You know Sinclair has
every phone in the station tapped.
- We have to do that in person. - Shit.
By the time we deal with her bullshit...
every junkie in America will be high off our bust.
Can we help you?
I staked out all night in that jalopy too.
I think I earned a peek.
This is real cop stuff. This is not Charlie's Angels.
It can't hurt for her to take a peek.
It can't hurt to look? If they fire
a bullet over here, it will hurt.
We have guests. Have them followed.
Don't do anything. Just call me with their location.
This high-speed chase endingona trestle...
near the RiverDrive and th Street intersection...
was captured twonights ago b your Action News team.
Both police officers involved in the incident were uninjured.
I thought you said Daddy was in Cleveland.
He can't be in Cleveland.
The officers didn't like the presence of our camera.
Your daddy just wishes he was in Cleveland.
I'm telling you . This Fouchet is a slick one.
FBI, DEA... They got nothing on him.
But he has to deal with us today.
That's the last time they handcuff me. That's what that is.
Excuse me, ma'am.
All visitors must be announced!
Pisses me off. Lady!
I guess when you guys get back...
this will all be over, right?
You got that right. Don't worry, though.
You'll be set free, cut loose.
You'll be back to your old life.
Oops. No more handcuffs.
- Get up out of here. - That should be Chet...
with my veggie burger.
- Move your ass! - You got it.
Hi. Can I help you?
Yes, I'm here to kill my husband, Marcus Burnett.
And that would be the tall one or the short one?
- The short one. - Thought so.
Is Chet ringing the...
- Let me get your husband. - Marcus, get over here.
I'm a... I know what it looks like. Did you get my message?
Can you leave me and Mrs. Burnett alone for...
I know, so let me...
As far as I'm concerned, you can keep
the wedding ring in your pocket...
because you , your new little girlfriend...
And Mike will all be very happy living here.
- Trust me. - Sweetie... Honey...
It's not even...
I saw it on the news.
- That shit be having a slant. - It's...
Baby, that's not even...
- You're no longer welcome in
my house. - He didn't tell you ...
I was coming in the airport early?
Remember I said call her? Hold on.
Tell her what I told you.
You were gonna bring me to your place...
All right. I ain't even gonna...
We're not arguing about this.
I'm raising my... All right, here... Baby...
Believe me, we wanted to tell you.
It really doesn't matter anymore, Marcus...
Mike. Kojak. Whatever your name is.
Aside from that fact, I'll tell you something else.
If his wife could find us, I'm a lot better off on my own.
This... I could see how it would look a trip.
You see me run out. I got a shirt open.
You see Mike half-butt-naked.
Then you see the white girl.
So this looks like we having one big
orgy here, and ain't nobody humping.
Ain't nobody doing none of that.
It's not what it looks like. Hear what I'm saying.
Baby, she's a material witness.
- That... - That's real!
Baby, listen. That ain't...
It was orders, baby.
Can I talk to you?
Can you stop so I can talk to you , please?
Enough with the smooth shit, Mike. It won't work anymore.
I don't care what you say.
- Duck! - Julie, get down now!
- Get out, now! - Mike, help!
Yeah, ? Chet here.
Go upstairs and take this. Take it!
Don't worry. I'll keep everybody
calm until my backup arrives.
I love you.
Shit! I forgot to give them the address!
Come on! Move!
Go! Watch it!
- Keep going! - Son of a bitch!
Get her in!
I'll kill you if you stop running.
It's okay. I'm with the police.
It's cool. You look great.
- Stop shooting! - He's still on top!
I'll get rid of him!
There he goes!
Don't ever say I wasn't there for you.
What is it with you guys?
How come it's always good news, bad news?
You know exactly where the dope
is, but you lose our only witness.
- I just don't get it. - Pick up your phone.
I'm keeping your sweet little friend
for four hours until I make my deal.
And I will make my deal.
I've just put a bullet in the chemist...
who fucked with my timetable.
The other one is for the girl. Okay?
Son of a bitch!
Twisted motherfucker just shot one of his employees.
Said if we don't back off, he'll kill Julie.
- Not now. - I told you to play by the rules.
I am on the verge of solving this case!
You turned South Beach into a war zone.
I finally got the authority to shut you
down. You're all reassigned.
This is lovely.
This guy is painting me into a corner.
He'll kill the girl anyway, and we're won't let her die.
We're not walking away from this
bust, I don't care what she says.
The deal goes down in four hours.
You guys have two hours to find them.
It's time to get lucky.
Go do what you have to do.
Fletcher, you told us this would
move a little quicker than this.
It's not that easy, okay? If it was, you'd be doing it.
Work your magic. You say you're
a computer whiz. Come on.
Back up off me. I'm doing an illegal favor for you.
This is what I got put in jail for.
So you back up off me.
You don't sit your lanky ass down... bottom line...
I will knock you the fuck out!
- What the fuck is wrong with you ? - Can you have a seat?
- You said you'd get me out of jail. - I wasn't lying.
Cops are so dumb. Look, it's coming up.
Remember, you promised to get me out.
There is it. Voila.
It was New Year's Eve and my ex-boyfriend, Eddie...
and this French guy...
took some really horrible pictures of me.
They said they would put them on the bulletin board...
of my kid's school...
unless I gave them a lot of narcotics information.
But I never gave them you or the girl!
Look, they got the girl. We need to get them now.
Because if we don't, they'll kill her.
- How do you make contact? - I
have their mobile phone number.
I'm sorry. Listen, I'll make it up to you.
I'll do anything you want.
We don't have a lot of time. Let's go.
You have sexy ears. You know that?
I want to lick them.
- Yeah? - Can I speak to Romeo?
There ain't no Romeo here, asshole.
Why are you laughing?
This cell phone will triangulate him...
no matter where he goes.
We'll watch on this map until he stops.
- Sector . - The signal is still strong.
- We still have a lock. - We got them.
- Come on, baby. - Thank you.
Lucywas the queen, baby. Think about it.
Lucille Ball was a bimbo. What are you talking about?
- Desi was the brains. - How could you say that?
- What do you mean? - Without those bongos, he's nothing.
It's conga. Don't be so stupid. It's Desi and Lucy...
Yo, what's up?
The fucking pencil squad.
Did you get us assigned to traffic duty?
- This is real. We got something
for you . - This shit could get you killed.
Here we go.
It's Conrad. I'm calling in a favor.
Eastbound towards northwest th Street.
Keep going northeast.
If I'm wrong about this, you can fire my ass.
This is what I need.
I need a SWAT team, helicopters...
We're calling all cars, baby. Only
I don't know where I need them.
- Very nice car you got there. - Yeah. That's my toy.
I'm taking it with me, for my collection.
How about the wire transfers?
Two wire transfers to your banks...
totaling $ million.
And in cash.
This has been a shitty week.
Getting full integration on that signal.
Yeah, we're on the airfield now.
I bet you it's up in the old hangar section.
Go ahead. Bring it up.
Deposit confirmation requested.
million, Geldersbank of zurich.
No easy approach.
No time. Fuck the backup.
- We have to go now. - Not a problem.
- Got an itch? I'd love to scratch it. - Scratch this.
- I'll scratch whatever you want,
bitch. - Did you go to college?
- You sure you want to do this? - Let's go.
Tuck in your skirt, baby. Come on!
My shit always works sometimes!
This is the best you can buy. It's
been nice doing business with you.
It's a setup!
If I get killed, I'm fucking you up!
Goddamn it, go.
You forgot your boarding pass.
- What's up? - Shit!
- Mike, let's go! - Shit! Get in the car!
Get in! Come on!
This shit's gonna blow!
Shit! Please catch that motherfucker!
- Hes hot me. - Hes hot you ? Hes hot me.
- You all right? - Just had a little run-in...
with your friend Jim Brown, but I'm fine.
He steals our shit, kidnaps Julie, shoots at my wife.
We beating him down!
Marcus, I just got one question for you , bro.
How the hell you leave my ass
at a gunfight to go get the car?
You have got to shut up and let him drive!
Seems like that gunshot wound
has improved your driving skills.
You got the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.
- What are you doing? - Getting it out of the way.
Just punch it, man! Go!
This car's faster! This is a faster car!
It's one or the other, baby! It's him or it's us!
You better fucking win, that's all I know!
You better win!
Now that's how you supposed to drive!
From now on, that's how you drive!
He ain't even worth killing.
I bet when your punk ass woke up this morning...
you didn't think about : you'd have a hole in your leg.
You couldn't kill me, you chicken shit, could you?
I could. You're talking like it's over.
I was just pausing.
I'm starting to get the hang of this marksman shit.
Shooting them from yards while
they're running away is not it.
Here's where it is, right here.
Point-blank, up close and personal.
That's what I'm talking about.
Would you do it?
Mike, step off.
He's a joke. He's a motherfuckin'joke.
I ever tell you I love you , man?
Yeah, you always be getting emotional after gunfights.
It's 'cause I'm glad we survived.
What are you talking about?
I love you too, man.
Don't be looking at me. I said, "I love you ."
- I said that shit. - You my boy, man!
No, you like my brother, man.
So what am I?
- Man... - Julie, sweetie, you ...
You're a little dangerous.
Yeah, you're like a magnet for random gunfire.
But you're all right. You're cool.
So what's next?
See, there ain't gonna be no next.
Whoa, Marcus. Come on.
You wanted Mike Lowrey. You got him.
Right here. That's Mike. Old Mike Lowrey.
I'm going home to my wife to get my quality time.
Marcus, stop playing, man.
I been beat three times since we been out here.
I'm cool man. I don't need help. Please, back up.
Why are you going home to your wife?
You got shot in the leg. Your dick probably don't work.
Marcus, do you have the keys?
Mike wanted me to go to this gunfight.
Then there was this witness.
My man! Sorry.
- Can you let me out of here? - I don't have the keys.
What do you mean? Why wouldn't you have keys?
Would you ... Ouch.
Marcus, I thought you said you loved me. Show me love!