Boogie Nights Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Boogie Nights script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson starring way too many people for me to possibly name.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Boogie Nights. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

Boogie Nights Script



Yo, Maurice!






How you doin'?



And Miss lovely Amber Waves.



You haven't been around.



We were on vacation.



Don't ever stay away

from my club that long again.



You got it.



And not for nothing, honey...



but you are the sexiest bitch

here and I love you!



Such a charmer.



I got your booth

set up in the back.



I'm ready, I'm available.



You put me in a movie,

we're talking box office.






Jack and Amber's table...



take them over

an order of clams.



How's it going here?



It's gonna be me and you.

We'll take a picture later on.



I love you, baby.



How's it goin'?



I was looking for you.

Where were you?



I was here.



I love you back.



Hey, Maurice, cowboy.



That's the cowboy?



You like it?



Yeah, if you like it.



I love it!



Compliments of Maurice.



- Thank you.

- Can I get a margarita?



A  -UP.



Hi, Rollergirl.



Did you call that girl today?



I forgot.



If you don't do it tomorrow,

you'll never see her.



What's the matter down there?



I gotta go pee.



Well, go then.



Hey, Little Bill.



Hi, Amber. How are you?



How's our schedule? Are we

still on for day after tomorrow?



More like the day after

the day after tomorrow.



Come on. I gotta call

Rocky and Scotty and Kurt.



It's going to be

a small group on this one.



- A low-key deal?

- Exactly.



Do we... I'm sorry.



Do we have a script?



How you doin'?






How old are you?



I have a work permit.

I have all the papers.



Not that.

Been working here long?



A month.



Maurice give you the job?



You from around here?

Canoga? Reseda?



You know where Torrance is?



How do you get here?



Take the bus.



What do you want to be?



Excuse me?



You take the bus

to Reseda for this job.



Can't you get a job

like this in Torrance?



Yeah, but I don't want to.






Do you want a five or a   ?






If you want to see me

jack off, it's   ...



but if you only want

to look at it, it's five.



Guys pay to watch you do it?



You already done it tonight?



Couple times.



And you can do it again?



If you want.

If you got    bucks.



No. My name is Jack.



Eddie. Eddie Adams.



Eddie Adams from Torrance.



I'm Jack Horner, filmmaker.






I make adult films,

exotic pictures.



I know who you are.

I read about you in a magazine.



Inside Amber, Amanda's Ride.

You made those, right?



Those are great.



So, now you know

I'm not full of doggy doo-doo.



Want to come back to

the table and have a drink?



I'd love to,

but I have to work.



You have to work,

get money, pay the rent.



I need money,

but I don't pay rent.



I still live at home.



How old are you?







piece of gold.



Yeah, right.



Why don't you

come back to the table?



I do know you.

I know who you are.



I'd love to come for a drink,

and you're not full of...



Doggy doo-doo.



But I just couldn't walk out

on Maurice. I'm sorry.



I got a feeling

beneath those jeans...



there's something wonderful

just waiting to get out.



Hey, Bill. What's up?



What are you guys doing?



A couple of bad girls.



I guess I'll see you later.



What are you still doing here?



Half hour be OK.



Listen, thank you.



Love you, mamita. Take care.



This is the man you let in

any time, understand?



All right.



A luego.



Hasta mañana.



Make you some eggs, beauty?



No. I'm going to sleep.

Good night.



Good night, honeytits.



Sleep beautiful.



Tom? It's me.



I know it's late, but I...



Is Andy there?



I'd like to say hello to my son,

and that's all.



Let me tell you something

you don't know.



I know a lawyer, you understand?



You think I don't, but I do,

and I'll take you to court!



Don't. Please.



What the fuck are you doing?



What the fuck does it

look like I'm doing?



Can you close the door?



Will I close the door?



That's my wife, you asshole.



I'm sorry.



Get out.



Go sleep on the couch.



Don't stop, big stud.



That's right.



Shave if you're gonna do that.



You'll scratch my face.









How's that work?

You get home late now?



You work in a nightclub.



If it means so much to you,

find one that's closer.



I gotta get to work.



A car wash.






You work at a car wash

and a nightclub.



School never occurred to you?



You're getting twice the bass

with the TK-   ...



which we've got

on this system right here.



I don't know

if I need all that bass.



I think you need all that bass.



If you want a system

to handle what you want...



you need the bass.



This is hi-fi, OK?



High fidelity.



You know what that means?



That means this is the highest

quality fidelity.



Hi-fi. Two very important

things in a stereo system.



It's the price for the...



I have this very unit

in my home.






But I got it modified

with the TK-   ...



which kicks it up another...



three or four quads per channel.



But that's technical talk.



That doesn't really

concern you.



Still a little uncertain,

aren't you?



You know what you need?

You need a test drive.



That's what you need.



It's one thing to hear it

from Buck's mouth.



It's another thing to

hear it from the TK-   .



So let me just pop in

this  -track...



and you just give a listen,

tell me what you think.



You hear that?



You hear the bass? Right?



You hear it? It kicks.



It turns.

It curls up your belly.



Makes you want

to freaky-deaky, right?



You got that? If you

get this system as is...



it won't sound like this without

the TK-    modification...



and we do that in the store,

very small price.



Move with it if you need to.

It helps me.



Thank you for your time.



So long, pardner.



What the fuck was that?



Have I told you?



I don't know what

you're talking about.



With that country-western shit,

no one's going to buy a stereo.



What kind of brother are you,

listening to that shit?



Look, Jerry...



I gave you a job here because

I thought your acting stuff...



might bring some nice pussy

into the place...



and it has, but I can't

have any more fuckups.



You dig?



- You dig?

- Yeah, I dig.



Now get in the back

and unload those new    s.



All right. Sorry.



Settle down, class.



This is your final.



Keep your test papers facedown

until I tell you to turn them.



Clear your tables, please.



There should be nothing

on your desk...



but your test paper

and a pencil.



We're covering chapters

   through   .



Your eyes should stay on

your test papers, please.



Are we ready?



Class, begin.






You OK?




Is something wrong?



I got to get back.



I need it once more.



I have to go back to work.



Come on. Give it to me.



Don't make me pounce you,

Sheryl Lynn.



- I'll do it.

- You promise?



That's it!



- You want it?

- Yeah.



- How bad?

- Bad.



- You sure?

- Yeah.



You asked for it!



Oh, God. Wait.









Your cock is so beautiful.






Do you know how good

you are doing it?



Having sex? Fucking me?



Making love to me?



Everyone has one thing,

you think?



I mean, everyone's given

one special thing, right?



That's right.



Everyone's blessed

with one special thing.



I want you to know

I plan on being a star.



A big, bright shining star.



That's what I want.



That's what I'm going to get.



I know.



I got to go.



Get lucky.



Want a ride?



I'm going really far.



Do you remember me

from a couple hours ago?



I remember.



Come with us, sweetie.



This is a really cool car.



What I'm trying to tell you...



is it takes a lot of the good

old American green stuff...



to make one of these things.



You've got your camera...



you got your film,

you got your lights...



your sound, your lab costs,

your developing...



your synching,

and your editing.



Before you turn around,

you spent maybe $     ...



$      $      on a movie.



That's a lot of money.



You bet your ass it is...



but if you make a good one...



there's practically no end

to how much money you can make.



Have you seen Jack's house?



- No.

- He will.



He'll see it.



You got maybe

      guys standing around...



just making sure that

your lighting is right.



But you can work out

in the morning...



you can work out at noon,

you can work out at night.



Doesn't matter if you don't

have those juices flowing...



down there in the Mr. Torpedo

area, in the fun zone.



But you got to get

the people in the theater.



You need the big dicks,

the big tits.



Here we go.



How do you keep them in

the theater after they've come?



With beauty...



and with acting.



I understand you've got

to get them in the theater.



You got to keep

the seats full...



but I don't want

to make a film...



where they show up, sit down,

jack off...



and get up and get out

before the story ends.



It is my dream, it is my goal...



it is my idea to make a film

that the story sucks them in...



and when they spurt out

that joy juice...



they just got to sit in it.



They can't move until they

find out how the story ends.



I want to make a film

like that.



And I understand

they have to make films.



I've made them myself

that are a few laughs...



everybody fucks

their brains out...



and that's fine...



but it's my dream...



to make a film...



that is true...



and right...



and dramatic.



You sure

you don't want a Fresca?



- No, thanks.

- Are you sure?



You're out of limes.



Check in the kitchen.



I'm going to bed.

Good night, Jackie.



Don't stay up too late.



Good night, beauty.



Good night, Eddie.



Glad you came by.



You're great.



Thank you.



She's the best.



She's a wonderful mother.



She's a mother

to all those who need love.



She's really nice.



You know what I'm thinking?



I'm thinking I want to be

in business with you.



- Really?

- Yeah. What do you think?



I'd love it.



What do you think of Rollergirl?



She's great.



Would you like to do it?



- Have sex?

- Oh, yeah.



I'd love to.



She's really foxy.



You bet your ass she is.



You're officially

out of limes, Jack.



I'll pick up

some for you tomorrow.



Come here, darling.

I want you to go over there...



and sit on the couch with Eddie.



Here we go.

Are we going to fuck?



Wait a minute.



Are you ready?



Yeah. Are you?



Are you going

to take your skates off?



I don't take my skates off...



and don't fucking come in me.



Aim it at her tits, Eddie.



Where were you?



- Nowhere.

- Shut up.



You see that little

slut girl you see?



Sheryl? Sheryl Lynn?



Don't say that.



Make you feel like a stud

to see trash like that?



Is she your girlfriend?



She's not my girlfriend.



She's a little whore

and a little piece of trash...



and I know you're not

the only one she sees.



Why would you say

something like that?



I heard things about her.



Don't think I don't know

what goes on when I'm not here.



I wash your sheets.

I know she's been here.



Or you doing something else

in there...



with your music and

your posters on the wall?



What is your problem?



OK. Fine.



Go to that little whore

Sheryl Lynn.



- Why don't you go to her?

- Maybe I will.



What are you going to do?



I don't know.

I'll do something.



You can't do anything!



You'll always be a loser!



You couldn't finish high school

because you were too stupid!



What are you going to do?



I'll do something!

I'll do it!



I'll go somewhere,

and I'll do something!



Maybe I'll run away

where you can never find me!



Go ahead!

Fuck that little girl!



What do you think you're doing?



- I'm getting my stuff.

- You think that's your stuff?



That's not your stuff!

You didn't pay for it!



That is not your stuff

because you didn't pay for it!



None of this is yours!



You leave here,

you leave with what you've got!






You understand me?



You want to treat me

like this?



This is what happens!

Is that fair?



I didn't do anything!



You want to live that way?



You think

you're going to do this?



Goddamn poster!



Don't do that!

Why are you doing that?



You're not going to be shit,

because you're too stupid!



- I'm not stupid!

- Yes, you are!



Please! Don't fucking do that!



Please don't be mean to me!



I'm not being mean to you.

You're too stupid to see it!



You don't know

what I could do...



what I'm going to do,

what I'm going to be.



You don't know. I'm good.



I have good things

you don't know about...



and I'm going

to be something! I am!



Don't fucking tell me I'm not!



Don't be mean!

And you don't talk to me!






Eddie Adams from Torrance.



I knew you'd make it.



You take the bus

the whole way here?



It wasn't bad.



Great. I got some people

I want you to meet.



You like music?



- I love music.

- What kind?



All kinds of music:

rock, jazz, classical.



I want you to meet

a couple of great people...



Buck and Becky.



I'm Eddie Adams.



Buck Swope. Nice to meet you.



- Our new fella.

- Becky Barnett.



It's nice to meet you.



This is the new fella?



Is that a faccia?



That is a faccia.



Faccia's "face," right?



That's right.



Nice to meet you guys.



All right.



Great people.



He's one hell of an actor.



Hey, Reed. Reedo!



I want you to meet the new boy

on the street... Eddie Adams.



I'm Eddie.



Reed Rothchild.



I want you to stick

around for a while, OK?






- Make him something special.

- Aye, aye.



- You live on this street?

- No.



I thought Jack

just said you did.



- Want a drink?

- Sure.



- Margarita?

- Great.






Two, four...






Can I ask you something?



Do you work out?



You look like it.

What do you squat?



About two.



Super, super.



What about you?

What do you squat?



-    .

- Wow.



- It's no B.S.

- That's a lot.



- Where do you work out?

- In Torrance, where I live.






Do you ever go to Vince's

out here?



No, I would have seen you.

I'm there every day.



I've always wanted

to work out at Vince's.



Cool. Here. Taste that.



- Rock and roll.

- All right?



Did you ever see

that movie Star Wars?



About four times.



People tell me I look

like Han Solo.






What do you bench?



You tell first.



I asked you first.



Same time.






Are you ready?






One... two... three...



- You didn't say anything.

- Neither did you.



Hey, guys. Look at me.



Thank you, Johnny.



My dear, it's party time.



Do you look lovely.



Hello, Colonel. How are you?



This is my lady friend.



Darling, I'd like you

to meet Jack Horner...



the finest director

in the business.



Do you have any coke

at this party?



I'm sure

they can find some somewhere.






You're no bigger

than a minute, are you?



Shy as a butterfly, I'll bet.



He doesn't have the right

to tell me how to dress.



Baby, it's just plain old.



Wait. Let me

tell you something.



First, he was obviously

pissed off about the music.



What's wrong with it?



Second, the cowboy look

ended about six years ago.



It's coming back.



No, it's not. It's dead.



I don't think you know

what you're talking about.



I know what I'm talking about...



and it sounds like your bosses

are saying the same thing.






You have to get a new look.



You get a new look.



I have a look, OK?

The look I have is just fine.



- What's your look?

- Chocolate love.



Take a pill.



You don't have to lash out

like that.



I'm just trying

to be your friend.



I tried opening up a club




but I'm just this poor fellow

from Puerto Rico.



I got this club here.

That's one thing.



But soon that goes,

I die, and what do I have?



I got nothing.



I want something

I can send home.



Something I can send my brothers

and say, "Look at me...



and all the beautiful women

I've been with."



So, what?

You want me to talk to Jack?



Yeah. I mean, you know.



What am I asking you here?



Honey, Amber, baby,

please talk to Jack.



Tell him I can do this.

Tell him I won't be bad.



You want to be in a movie?



- Baby, please.

- I'll see what I can do.



Would you, love?

Thank you very much.



Thank you, mamita.



Maurice, can I talk to you?



I need to talk to you now.



Pal, buddy...



Excuse me.



Can I join in?



Most certainly.



The cowboy look,

that's not dead.



What is Becky talking about?



She's got a fucking

something up her ass.



- Fuck that shit.

- Bitch.



Do a cannonball!



No. Watch this jackknife.



- Did it look cool?

- Pretty good.



Let me show you

what you did wrong.



Full flip.



You all right?



You got to bring your legs

all the way around.



I know. I know.



This is my point.



You know what I say?

Wear what you dig.



Just wear what you dig.



- That's what I say.

- What's the problem?



Should I get that?



Can you speak

a little louder, please?



Who? Maggie.



Do you know a Maggie?



I don't know a Maggie.




There's no Maggie here.



Your mother.



Just give me a second.



Watch that for me, OK?



Excuse me.

Is there a Maggie here?



Maggie? Are you Maggie?



Do you know Maggie?



You Maggie?



Can you believe this?



I'm sorry.

There's no Maggie here.



OK. No. It's not a problem.






Who was that?



Some kid looking for his mom.



What the fuck are you doing?



What's it look

like they're doing?



- That's my wife.

- Shut up, Bill.



You're embarrassing me.



Yeah, Little Bill. Shut up.



Hey, Kurt. How's it going?



What's wrong?



My fucking wife.



She's down there,

some idiot's dick in her.



Everybody's standing around




It's a fucking




Yeah, I know. Anyway, listen.



For the shoot,

I want to talk about the look.



I want to see about getting

this new zoom lens.



I was wondering if we'd get

some more lights, too.



Jack wants a minimal thing.



Very often, minimal means

a lot more photographically...



than most people understand.



- I understand.

- I know you understand.



I'm talking about

some other people.



I think what Jack

is talking about is minimal...



not really natural,

but minimal.



- I was just saying...

- I understand.



Because I'm trying to give

each picture its own look.



Can we talk about this later?



Oh, yeah.

You got to go somewhere?



I was hoping

for the shoot tomorrow...



we could send Rocky down,

and he could pick it up.



No, hey. Got you.

You got to go somewhere...



so what the fuck?

It's only the photography...



of the film we're talking about.



Are you giving me shit?



Hey, no way, Little Bill.



My wife has an ass

in her cock in the driveway!



I'm sorry if my thoughts

are not on the photography...



of the film

we're shooting tomorrow, OK?



OK. No big deal. Sorry.



- All right?

- Got you.



All right. Where is this?



I think she's sick.



What the fuck is this?



I didn't do anything.

I didn't.



Is she breathing?



I don't know.

I think she did too much coke.



Do you think so, Doctor?



This girl's definitely OD'd.



I want you to handle

this for me, Johnny.



Pick her up, get her in the car,

and drive her to Saint Joe's.



Drop her off in the front.



Got you.



Make sure no one sees the limo.



What the fuck is this?



This is twice in two days

that a chick has OD'd on me.



Do you think maybe you

ought to get some new shit?



Shit. She's freaking out!



See? Look at this.



With all this fucking

conversation. Come on.



Please don't die!



Come on!



Back door, Johnny.



You got it.



Fuckin' shit!



Get out of my way.



Is she all right?



Shut the fuck up.



Hey, Scotty J. How are you?



You know, you know. Who's this?



Eddie, this is Scotty J.

He's a friend.



He works on some of the films.



- Nice to meet you.

- Oh, yeah. Me, too.



You going to be working or...









That's great.

How'd you meet Jack?



Because I work on the films




So if you ever...



Come here a second, will you?



So that's the boy

you told me about.



Could you excuse me

for a minute?



Very nice to meet you.



Take care.



Eddie Adams,

this is the Colonel.



How do you do?



Eddie is interested in film.



I can't give you much advice...



that Jack probably

doesn't know...



but I can advise that maybe

you think about your name.



My name?



Think about some name

that makes you happy...



or something with

a little pizzazz.






The Colonel here puts up

all the money for our films.



It's an important part

of the process.






I'm looking forward

to seeing you in action.



Jack says you got

a great big cock.



I don't know. I guess so.



- May I see it?

- Really?






Thank you, Eddie.



No problem.



Thanks, Eddie.



All right.



You want to hear a poem

I wrote?



I love you, you love me...



going down the sugar tree.



We'll go down the sugar tree...



and see lots of bees...



playing, playing.



But the bees won't sting...



because you love me.



That's it.



That's fucking great.

Did you write that?



- I write songs, too.

- Wow.



How's it going, boys?



Having a good time?



Excellent time.

Thank you, Jack.



- It was a great party.

- The best.



That's what

Jackie's house is for.



- Right?

- That's right!



Coming in.



How about

a little bubbles, Reed?



Excuse me, Jack.



I'm thinking about what

the Colonel said about my name.



I was just wondering

if you had any ideas.



I had some thoughts on it.



What about you?

What do you think?



My idea was

I just want a name...



I want it so it can cut glass,

like razor-sharp.



Razor-sharp. Right.



When I close my eyes,

I see this thing.



It's this big sign...



and the name is in

bright blue neon lights...



with purple outline...



and this name is just

so bright and so sharp...



that the sign blows up

because the name's so powerful.



It says, "Dirk Diggler."



I think Heaven has

sent you here, Dirk Diggler.



I think the angels have blessed

us all because of you.



You're Dirk!



Talk to me, Kurt.



- Twenty to   .

- Why?



I got a couple of

tough shadows to deal with.



There's shadows in life, babe.



You want to go over this?



The setup is... Here we go.



One, Amber talking to Becky.



They make the telephone

call to the agents...



to send over some actors.



Two, enter Reed

to audition for Amber.



They go at it. Becky watches.



Three, Becky goes

to the bathroom to jack off.



She gets interrupted by Amber.

They go at it.






Who's Dirk Diggler?



That's that new boy,

good-looking kid...



Eddie at the club.



Good name.



Anyway, enter Dirk.

He meets Becky. They go at it.



Change that, will you?



I want Eddie to be

auditioning for Amber.



Got it.



Darling, where are you going?



I got to go wash my vagina.



How long will you be?



Two seconds.

You want it clean, don't you?



I'm back now.



I'm ready to start.



I'm supposed

to come get you now...



and tell you that

they're all ready now.



Do you think you could

give me a minute?






I'm back now.



I'm ready to start

my acting career.



That's right.



- You look really good.

- Thank you.



And you look really sexy.






- I like your name a lot.

- You do?



- It's really cool.

- Thanks.



You'll be right down there.






How's my boy?



Great. Let's do it.



All right.



Remember everything

we talked about?



Now, you're going

to come through the door...



walk right over here.



I'll say, "Action, Eddie."



That will be your cue, right?



You come through the door...



you walk right over to

the desk to Amber, and we shoot.



Do we go right

into the sex or...



Is that all right?



Is it OKwith you?






You don't need a rehearsal?



No. It's OK. I can do it.



Then we'll shoot the rehearsal.



- Great.

- All right.



Could I ask you something?



Can you call me

Dirk Diggler from now on?



- Absolutely.

- Great.



- I'm sorry.

- It's all right.



From now on.



Let's get a good one.



Do you want to practice

your lines with me?



No. I know it.



- You look great, honey.

- Thanks.



Does he want me

to keep going until I come?



Yeah. You just come

when you're ready.



Where should I do it?



- Where do you want?

- Wherever you tell me.



Come on my tits

if you can, OK?



Just pull it out and do it

on my stomach and my tits.



Yeah. No problem.



Are you all right, honey?



This is great. I'm fine.



I just want to do good.



I just want it to be

really good.



Is it OK if I really try

to make it look sexy?



Would that be OK?






You ready?



You're going to enter

through this door right here.



He'll call "Action."

You got the lines for the scene?



If you drop one, just call

for it, but do not stop, OK?



You want

some water or something?



No. I'm fine. Thanks.



You're going to do fine.



Roll it, Scotty.












Camera's set.

We're ready, chief.






Action, Dirk.



Hello. Are you John?



Your agency recommends

you very highly.



I'm a really hard worker...



and if you give me a job,

I won't disappoint you.



What special skills do you have?



I've been in the Marines

for three years.



I just got back

from a tour of duty.



- You're kidding.

- No, I'm not.



It got really hard being

surrounded by guys all day.



How long has it been

since you've had a woman?



A long time.



That's terrible.



But I'm back and ready

to pursue my acting career.



As you may or may not know...



this is an important

film for me.



If it's not a hit, I'll get

kicked out of my apartment.



My landlord's a real jerk.






Why don't you take

your pants off?



It's important I get

an idea of your size.



No problem.



I think that you have the job...



but why don't I make

sure of something?



This is a giant cock.



We've rolled out.



We got to change mags.



Do it quickly.



- Kids.

- Is everything cool?



It's going great.

We just got to change the angle.



Does it look sexy?



It's great.



You're doing so good, Dirk.



Does it feel good?



Roll sound, Scotty.






Quiet. Sticks.






We're back.



Action, kids.



We're going to go down now.



No. Do it again.



John, you're a wonderful actor.



You're amazing.



You feel so good, Amber.



You ready to come?



- Come in me.

- What?



Don't worry. I'm fixed.



I want you to come in me.



Oh, God.






Cut. Terrific!



Nice work!



That's great!

Wasn't that sexy?



Rock and roll!



Really good.



Looked great. Very sexy.



Doesn't he fuck

like a champ?



- He rocked.

- Thanks, Reed.



The camera loves you.



We didn't get the come shot.



We missed the come shot.

He came inside her.



Maybe we could

go to stock footage or...



Are you crazy?

It won't match.



I could do it again

if you need a close-up.



Here we go!



Everyone say, "Dirk."



These are real wood.



I know.



These are the ones.

These are great.



Those are really cool.

Are they lizard?



No. They're Italian.

I'm going to fucking buy these.






It's funny you say that,

because we should be in a band.



- You like my shoes?

- They're pretty cool.



I got them with Reed and Scotty.

They're cool, huh?



They're embossed leather

with this reptilian pattern.






Can we have some

hot sauce here?



Hiya, Scotty.

Sit down and help yourself.






Say hello to Jaimelyn.



- You're a Leo?

- That's right.



My girlfriend

wants to meet you.



- Is that right?

- This is Raymond.



How do you do?

What's your name?



- Becky Barnett.

- Excuse me?



- Raymond's a Leo.

- I knew it.



- What's your sign?

- I'm a Pisces.



What? I can't deal

with no Pisces.



That shirt's

pretty sexy, too.



This is

imported Italian nylon...



and it's a special edition

limited silk print...



and it was done by this really

famous design artist.



Pick a card.



What's up, baby? I love you.

Bitch you later, baby.



What table's that going to?



- Four?

- Five, Jose.



What's happening, my man?



You alive, man.



What's up, people?



Rise from the deck.



Damn! That's...



Two of diamonds, right?



That's my card.

That is incredible.



Doesn't it make you nervous

dealing with those evil forces?



- Horses?

- No. Evil forces.



Evil? No, man.



It's not evil.

It's an illusion.



Yeah, it's confusing.



Thank you.



Listen up, kid.



We're going to try and

do this all in one shot.



We start like this,

and you roll her over, Dirk.



Rollergirl, you roll

right over with him...



but try to give me every single

position. Is that possible?



If you wrap your leg around...



The other one, the left leg...

around and over. Good.



See, we can go

right into doggy style.






Is the movement

of the waterbed a problem?



No, not at all.

I dig it. It's great.



OK, can we do this?



All right,

everybody, here we go.



This is going to be great.



Do you want me to use

the Spanish accent?



"Jack Horner has found

something special...



"in newcomer Dirk Diggler.



"Another stellar sexual standout

from Horner and company.



"Diggler delivers a performance

worth a thousand hard-ons.



His presence when dressed

is powerful and demanding."



"When stripped to the bone...



"Diggler's more eruptive

than a volcano on a bad day.



"Amber Waves' ripe cherry lips

do a wonderful job...



of handling Diggler's

wide load."



"And Reed Rothchild's

stiff biceps...



do a slapping good job with

Becky Barnett's supple ass."



"But Diggler remains

the standout in this film.



"It's easy to predict

that after only two films...



that Diggler's suck-cess can

only grow and grow and grow..."



What else?



That's it for now.



Look at the character

Holmes came up with.



And look, I just...



Tell me.



I don't like seeing women

treated that way.



This guy who plays Johnny Wadd...



it's always about

slapping some girl around.



It's not right. It's not cool.

It's just not sexy.



It's not sexy like it should be.



This guy's more

a James Bond type character.



You know, he's classy.



He's a world-traveled guy.



I like that.



Reed could play my partner.



I like that a lot.



We could make it really good.



If you direct it, we make

a series with a whole story.



It's exactly what we've

always talked about.






When we get back...



set up the typewriter.



We'll see what comes out of it.



I have to talk to the Colonel

when we get to Vegas.



And you got to work

on the Colonel, too.



You got to be committed.



I'll do whatever I have to do.



Does this character

have a name?



His name is Brock Landers.



His partner's name

is Chest Rockwell.



Those are great names!



And the award

for best newcomer goes to...



Yes! My baby boy!



And the award

for best cock goes to...



Here we go again.



The award

for best actor goes to...



I've seen all his movies, and

I can't wait to work with him.



Wow. I don't know what to say.



I guess...



Wow. I guess

the only thing I can say...



is I'll promise

to keep rockin' and rollin'...



and making better films.



It seems we make these movies,

and sometimes, you know...



they're considered filthy

or something by some people...



but I don't think that's true.



These movies we make,

they can be better.



They can help. They really can.

I mean that.



We can always do better.



I'm going to keep trying

if you guys keep trying.



Let's keep rockin'

and rollin', man.









Shot of tequila, straight up.



I've been in this place

for    minutes...



just to get a seat.



Are you alone?



Yeah. Just visiting L.A.



Some people told me the food

in here was really good.



Good? It's not good.



It's probably the best place

to eat in Los Angeles.



- It's excellent.

- I certainly hope so.



I could die of starvation before

I get something in my mouth.



Still hungry?






Why don't you

feast on that?



Oh, it's true.



What's that?



You are Brock Landers.



Freeze! Don't make me

chase you, Raphael!






We're almost there.



Here's what I want.

I want you to trim the head.



Dump that shot of Reed

with the revolver.



And switch the title card.



I want it to come flying out

of the screen at the audience.



Nice. Piece of cake.



That's my guy.



I told him, "This is

a special party for Scotty J.



I want your lightest,

bubbliest champagne."



So this is what

he gave me, Scotty.



Take a little sip of this

and tell me what you think.



This is supposed

to be really good stuff.



Here. Take a sip.



Isn't that pretty light?



What do you think, huh?






Great. Look how spacious it is.



Look, I like this, too.



That's custom-made.

Real imported Italian leather.



- Very unusual.

- Watch this.



- What's that?

- My initials.



That's so imaginative.

How'd you think of that?



I was thinking of my name

one day and dreamt it up.



How are you?



I'm almost finished.



Looks great.



I used a little poetic license

to capture your essence.



Looks great, Jessie.



It's good for conversation.



Jessie did

that oil painting as well...



and Buck is still

installing the stereo.



- That's a beanbag.

- You're kidding.



And that lamp,

those are real sterling silver.



They have

a very modern feel, too.



This could be the place

you could have conversations.



You ready? Ta-da!



It's my dojo.



It's all Asian.



You have an Asian dojo.



It has

that whole karate feel.



It's very comfortable.



A lot of ancient China.



I have my statues

for my best-actor awards.



A good place to keep

your awards. I'm glad.



Yeah. Look at this.



Oh, that's handy.



Can you see yourself?



It's great, huh?



My whole entire wardrobe.



That's great.



It's all perfectly organized

by color and designer.



You don't have to think

about it or anything.



No. It's all ready.



You're going to love it.



This is my favorite thing

in the whole entire world.



You ready?

Close your eyes, please.



Yeah, baby.



- Isn't it beautiful?

- Oh, God!



This is it.

This is the thing.



You deserve this, baby.



Isn't it great?



This is the most beautiful

thing I've ever seen.



Want to go for a ride?



She rocks!



You set us up, Chico.



You want to fuck with Raphael

and Ringo, that's your business.



You don't fuck

with Chest and Brock!



You know what?

You're not even worth it!



I gave you a chance!



I trusted him.



Well, we almost solved the case.



At least the women are safe.



Let's go get some of

that Saturday-night beaver.



No one fucks

with Chest and Brock.



This is the best work

we've ever done.



It's a real film, Jack.



It feels good.



You made it fly.



You know,

this is the film...



I want them

to remember me by.



Thank you.



As far as I'm concerned,

it's all about love, you know?



I mean, if you love someone,

how hard can the world be?



People will come and go,

and so will problems...



but ultimately, if you have

got love on your side...



and it is just...



I mean, it is just deep down

in your soul...



what's a problem going to be...



that takes your attention

away from that?



Do you understand?



I'm Becky Barnett.



I'm Jerome.



Nice to meet you.



Nice to meet you, too, Becky.



So what do you do?



I'm in the auto industry.



Yeah, I'm a regional manager

over at Pep Boys.



Oh, wow! That's great.

That's great.



You've got a really

nice smile, Becky.



Thank you... Jerome.



The Colonel.



Excuse me.



Floyd Gondolli.



Great you could make it.



How are you? You look happy.



I'm fine.



Meet boys... Tommy, Pete.



Meet girls... Cyndi, Angie.



These are the next stars.



These are the real

people in the world.



I think we ought to do

that talk with Jack now.



Maybe iron this thing out

before we start the new year?



Let's do it.



What were you thinking?

What were you feeling?



Did you do research?



What are you

talking about here?






You want to come with me

for a little while?






It's a surprise.



Yeah. Let's go.



Excuse me, Jessie.



Hey, Buck.



Hey, Jessie.

How you doing?



- You sitting alone?

- Yes.



Todd Parker!



Rockin' Reed Rothchild!



- Aw, you made it!

- Yeah!



An amazing party, man.

Fuckin' chicks everywhere.



You bet.

Courtesy of Jack Horner.



I wouldn't mind having a piece

of that action over there.




I'll introduce you.



Sure. Introduce her to my lap.



Did you get off work, man?



Don't dance Sunday nights.






Whose 'vette is that

out in the driveway?



Dirk. I'm so jealous.



That shit's jammin', man.



Start down low

with a     cube...




 -speed,  -   gears...



   coats of competition orange

hand-rubbed lacquer...



with a dual-plane manifold...



Full fuckin' race cams.



I'm pretty happy with it,

you know.



It's a great look for you,

I think.



It's pretty original,

you know, I think.






Take this off.



What were we talking

about before?



- Oil painting?

- No.



No... yes. I mean,

but I was saying that...



Oh, sunsets.



Right, yeah.

I was saying I love sunsets.



But sunrises are better.






I thought I was the only one

who felt that way.



- No. I feel that way.

- Really?



Yes, really. Have you ever

heard my stereo system?



I'm going to open

my own business.



- Really?

- Yes.



It's my dream, OK?



It's hi-fi stereo equipment

at discount prices.



It's called

Buck's Super Stereo World.



That is a fucking great idea.



Yeah. The Eighties,

that's when it's gonna happen.



- Really?

- Really. The     s.






I wanted you to come in

and give me a minute...



so I could tell you

how much I love you.



I mean, it's going

to be a new year.



We're going to start

things and do things...



and I just wanted you to know

how much I care about you.



I really care about you, honey.

You're my little baby.



Thank you, Amber.



You're the best thing

that's happened to me...



since my son went off,

and I just...



I love you, honey.



I love you, too.



Fuckin'      you know?



Can you believe it?



I can't. It's, like,

the next thing you know...



it's going to be,

like,      and     .



I mean, can you imagine?



Good-bye,     .



Hello,     .



Make sure you snort it back...



real quick and hard.



Like this.



It burns.



It's good, though, right?



It's going in my throat.



That's the drip.

The drip's the best part.



It tastes like aspirin.



Here. Do one more

in the other nostril.



I need a drink of water.



One more...

and then a drink of water.



Do you think

I look cool when I do it?



Let's talk about the future.



Let's talk about what it really

means to this industry...



and let's talk about how

all of us, not one of us...



how all of us

are going to profit.



Now, I've been doing theater

in San Francisco, San Diego...



about as long as you've been

doing stag and hard core.



We're all familiar

with your biography, Floyd.



No one doubts your credentials

or your history.



Then why the resistance?



This industry is going to be

turned upside down soon enough.



Why help it?



Why not be prepared?



The Colonel's got the money.



You got the talent.



I got the connections

to the equipment...



and the mail-order




not to mention

those kids out there...



who are hot fuck action

to the max, Jack.



This is the future.

Videotape tells the truth.



Wait a minute.



You come into my house,

my party...



to tell me about the future?



That the future is tape...

videotape... and not film?



It's amateurs

and not professionals?



I'm a filmmaker.



That's why I will never

make a movie on videotape.



I'll tell you something else.



I will never, ever loan out...



any of the actors

that I have under contract.



Wait, Jack.



I'm not a complicated man.

I like cinema.



In particular, I like to see

people fucking on film...



but I don't want

to win an Oscar...



and I don't want

to reinvent the wheel.



I like simple pleasures...



like butter in my ass,

lollipops in my mouth.



That's just me. That's just

something that I enjoy.



Call me crazy,

call me a pervert...



but there's one little thing

I want to do in this life...



and that is to make a dollar

and a cent in this business.



I'm not trying to hurt you.



I'm trying to help you stay

one step ahead of the game.



We're going in circles now...



but we're in

familiar territory.



The territory

we're in is the future...



not to mention the cost.



If it looks like shit,

and it sounds like shit...



then it must be shit.



You're holding on too tight.



It doesn't have to look good.



Film is just

too damn expensive...



and the theaters are already

converting to video projectors.



I haven't heard that.



Well, it's true.







before the new year.



I'd like to spend it

with my friends.



We will or will not continue

this conversation.



What's up?



Fuckin' New Year's, right?






Man, right.

Did you see my new car?



You got a new car?



- Want to see?

- Yeah.



All right, cool.

It's out front.



Come on. It's out front.



I want you to meet my friend.

Todd Parker, Dirk Diggler.



What's up, man? How are you?



We finally meet.



I was telling you

about him before.



Todd Parker... he works

at Party Boys Strip Club.



Cool. You're a dancer.



Yeah. I got some moves.



I'm sorry. Are you coming?



Listen, I'll be around

in a little bit.



We can talk then, all right?



See you later, Reed.



When you get by the lights,

close your eyes, OK?



All right.



All right,

just follow my voice.



All right, here,

here, here, here...






Keep coming.

All right, open them.



This is it.



It's cool!




You want to get inside?



When did you get this?



Yesterday. Actually I had it

painted yesterday...



so the paint might still be

kind of sticky.



This is great, man.



You want to go for a ride?



Wait. Fuck. Hell,

how much time is left?



I'm sorry, Dirk.



What the hell

is the matter with you?



Why did you do that, Scotty?



You look at me sometimes.



I want to know if you like me.



Of course... yeah,

I like you, Scotty.



Can I kiss you?



Please? Can I kiss you

on the mouth?



- No!

- Please let me.



- Scotty!

- I'm really sorry.



I didn't mean to grab you

like that or scare you.



It's all right, man.



Do you want to kiss me?



What is the matter with you?



All right, forget it.



I'm really drunk. Really, I am.



I'm out of my head.



I'm really wasted.

Really, Dirk.



I understand, man.



I'm crazy right now.

I'm really crazy.



Do you want to go back inside?



Do you like my car, Dirk?



What? Yeah.



Because I wanted to...



I wanted to make sure

you thought it was cool...



or else I was going

to take it back.



It's great, Scotty.



Happy New Year.



Happy New Year, Scotty.



I love you.

I really love you.



I love you, too, Scotty.



Let's go back inside, OK?



All right. All right.



Fuckin' idiot.



I'm a fuckin' idiot.



Two minutes, pops. Two minutes.



Come on, Little Bill!



OK, Becky. I'm...



Little Bill! Smile, man!






Little Bill, champagne?



Aw, thanks.

That's really nice of you.



- Happy New Year.

- To you, too.



Hey, Kurt,

have you seen my wife?



No. Hey, they're

doing that countdown thing.



Come on in, man.



We need something

to make a toast.



Hey, Little Bill, look at me.



   nine, eight...



seven, six, five...



four, three, two...



What about your character

Brock Landers...



and what some people consider

violent attitudes towards women?






No. What...



I mean, if there's

a certain amount of...



you know, violence or action

in this series of films,



you know, that's the movie.



If Brock Landers

is slick with a gun...



he does so only in the vein

of good and right.



Brock protects the values

of the American ideal...



and fights for causes

that instill pride...



in a society where morals

are hard to come by.



Who sent you?!



Get the fuck off me.



Lie still, or I'll punch you

in the goddamn face!



Get the fuck off!



I'll find out who sent you.



Amber, I live in this world.



I don't like violence

any more than you do.



Violence is a bad thing.



But when you see

violence in films...



it's... you know...



if movies...

films caused violence...



we'd be able to wipe out

violence tomorrow.



Boom. No more films.

That's fine with me.



I'll find something else to do.

I'll fuck on my own time.



You know, I got other interests.

I'm a magician.



That will be something that

I focus on in the future...



because you can't fuck forever.

I realize that.



Anyway, violence...



is something that

plagues us as a society.



The fine line is,

I'm playing a character.



You know, I mean,

I'm Dirk Diggler.



Brock Landers is a character

that I'm playing.



I'm going to ask you once more,

and I'm going to ask you nice.



Where the fuck is Ringo,

you bitch?



Fuck you.



Why do I love him?



He's very special,

and he can fuck hard...



or he can fuck,

like, really gently.



He's the best.



I think that's... that's...



part of my reason

for doing this, you know.



I've gotten thousands

upon thousands of letters...



you know,

from people telling me...



"God, you've taught me this...



and you've made our love life

so much better."



And this isn't go out

and have sex...



with    million people

and how to get a girl off.



It's about how to get

your wife off.



If only people could have

been doing this before...



we could have saved

a million relationships.



I've saved thousands.




an idea of movement...



Jack will put

the final touches together...



for what the camera needs

for editing and stuff...



but he allows me

to block my own sex scenes...



gives me the freedom to develop

the character and stuff.



God, I don't know any other

director who'd let an actor...



you know, do that.

You know?



I don't allow him to block

his own sex scenes.



It is. It's jealousy.



It's deceitfulness.

It's vindictiveness.



It's all of that stuff,

you know?



But I mean, God, what can you

expect when you're on top?



It's like Napoleon.

When he was the king...



people were just constantly

trying to conquer him...



in the Roman empire, so it's...



history repeating itself

all over again.



To all the critics out there...



I know they're going

to be reviewing this...



and I know they're going

to try to knock me.



I just want them to know...



Is it OK if I say this

into the camera?



I only am who I am

because I was born that way.



I have a gift, and I am trying

to not be selfish about it...



but to use it, OK?



If you want to knock me

for that, it's your own problem.



Jealousy will get you nowhere.



I'm going to keep rockin' on.



For Dirk Diggler...



the future is something

to look forward to, not to fear.



He is a creative man

of many interests...



film, poetry, karate,

music, and dance.



He is a man

of passion and mystery.



He is a man of lust.



It's my poem to you.



It's good, Amber.

It's really good.



You're a director now.



So have you shown Jack yet?



No. I wanted you

to be the first.



It's really good, Amber.




Thanks, baby.



The only thing

I was wondering is...



you might want to cut that part

where Jack talks about...



About blocking the sex?



That stuff about me not being

a black belt is not true.



Yeah. I can fix that.



Ace of spades.



How'd it turn out?



Are you sure?



Hey, how was it, man?






Look, slow down.



Guys, guys, guys.



Slow down, Colonel.

Say again?



I'll be right there.






Let me tell you, Jack.



I don't mean

to laugh about it...



but she was   

going on     believe me.



She was. You would

never know it, never know.



I was fooled completely.



I've had a few of them.




You do believe me,

don't you, Jack?



Yeah, I believe you.



Anyway, so I take

her home, Jack...



you know,

and I got her there...



and I tell her not

to do so much coke...



but she must have done

   lines in five minutes.



It's like a vacuum in her nose.



Just going up like crazy.



Anyway, she's got all

this stuff going on...



and the next thing,

she stopped...



something must have

broken up there...



because blood poured

all over the place...



all over the sheets

and everything.



Just pouring out. Oh, Jack.



All right,

you thought she was older.



You didn't do anything.



She was just at your place.



You didn't do anything, right?



Right. Nothing.



You didn't do anything to her?



Not a thing. You know me, Jack.

I didn't do a thing.



- You didn't do anything?

- I didn't do anything.



All right, nothing.



But they...



They found something

at the house.






There's something that's...




it's my fuckin' weakness.



They're so small,

and they're so cute...



and they're so adorable.



I just can't help it when...



Jesus Christ.




I don't touch them, Jack.



I don't touch them

in any way, honestly.



Jack, please.



All right.



Now you think

I'm an asshole.



Jack, let me tell you this.



I love you, Jack.

I'm your friend.



There's one thing

I want you to do, though.



Jack, come on.

Tell me that you're my friend.



Just tell me.

Am I your friend?



I do.



I do, too.



I now pronounce you

man and wife.



Listen, I'm dying

to do a movie with you.



I'll tell you

what comes to mind.



What comes to mind is I am

the ultimate Latin lover.



There is no Latin lover

like me. You understand?



Once you get Maurice

as the Latin lover...



Have you ever been

to Niagara Falls?



That is great!

That's so great, you guys.



It's an opportunity for me

to run the store my way.



Just get

those guys off my back.






I'll run the store my way.



Are you guys

moving to Bakersfield?



- Yeah.

- Soon?



Aren't your folks

from Bakersfield?



Hey, guys,

we're losing these two.



- Wow.

- You like it there?



Big promotion!



You look at the movies

and say, "Hell, I can do that."



I can do it.



It's a little more

complicated than that.



It's a tough racket.

Dirk, you made it.



- Hey, Jack.

- How you doing?



Good. Who's that?



Hi. I'm Johnny Doe.



You're... Dirk Diggler.



It's great to meet you.



Johnny's the new boy

on the street.



He's interested

in show business.



He's very tired.



And he's shy, you know.



So like I said,

it's a tough business.



You got a great kisser...



but there's a lot of work

involved, a lot of people.



We all have to work

our buns off.



Know what I mean?



It takes    guys

just to do the lighting.



No, it's crystal, man.



You just want to do bumps.



Shut up, man.



Hey, you guys.



- What?

- Just saying hey.



Yeah, whatever.



Oh, man.



You all right?



It's getting me

fuckin' high, man.



It's that carpet dope.



The kind of dope

they used to put carpet in.



They'd mix it up

in the bathtub...



and while they were mixing

it up in the bathtub...



they'd drop in a hunk

of carpet into it.



It's a lot better

than that pink shit.



The pink shit's fuckin' weird.



They put fish scales

in that shit.



You look good.



You ready?



Come on.



I am a star. I'm a fuckin'

rock and roll star.



Man, I got to get hard.

Come on. Fuck.



Please don't do this to me.



No, please. Come on.



I'm a star.



You ready?



I was born ready.



Come on.



I'm ready to shoot.



   minutes, huh?



No. I'm ready now.

It's got to be now.



Twenty minutes, babe.



Fuck it. Hey, Jack.

I'm ready to shoot now.



My cock is ready.

I want to fuck.



Twenty minutes.



I want to fuck.

Who's it going to be?






Who do you want to start

fucking? Me or him?



Me? What?



Shut up, OK?



I didn't do anything to you.



You're not even an actor, man.

You got no business being here.



Yes, I am.



No, I'm an actor, man.



Shut up!






Stop this Mickey Mouse




I want you to go in there.



I want you to cool off, OK?



Just cool off, and we'll

come back and shoot the scene.



I said I'm ready to shoot.



Not now.



I'm not going

to tell you again, Jack.



I'm not going to shoot you

in the state you're in.



What do you mean, state?

State of California?



I know where the fuck I am.



Jesus Christ,

you've been up for two days.



I haven't been up for two days.



You look like

you haven't been to sleep...



so I ain't gonna shoot you

because you don't look good.



You know what?

You don't tell me anything.



- Really?

- You're not the boss of me.



- Yes, I am.

- You're the king?



Don't you

fuckin' touch me, man!



- Dirk, honey...

- You shut up, too.



You're not the mother of me,

and you're not my boss!



You're not my mother!

You're not my fuckin' mom!



I'll take you home.




I'm ready to shoot the scene.



I want to shoot the scene.

I'm fine.



I want you out of here.



Look, it's over, OK?

I'm done.



Listen to me, kid.

I want you...



Don't you fuckin' call me a kid!



I'll fuck you up! You want

to see me kick some ass?



I know fuckin' karate!



You're fuckin' fired!



You're fired, you goddamn kid!



Jack, what the hell...



You know what?

No, no, no.



You know what?

I'm the biggest star here, man.



That's the way it is!



I want to fuck!

It's my big dick!



So everybody get

ready fuckin' now!



You know what?



I don't need this shit!



Fuck you! Fuck all of you!



You're not my boss!

You're not the king of me!



I am the fuckin' king of Dirk!



You're nothing without me, Jack!

You're fuckin' nothing!



Fuck this, man!

I don't need this shit!



Dirk, wait. I'm so sorry, Jack.



I'll take care of this.

I'll straighten him out.



OK, Dirk, you ready?



I was born ready, Nick.

Let's go, man.



- Dirk Diggler demo...

- Keep the vocals up.



You Got The Touch, take seven.



Excuse me, Reed.



You got the touch



You got the power



After all is said and done



You never walk,

you never run



You're a winner



You've got the moves,

you know the streets



Break the rules,

take the heat



You're nobody's fool



You're at your best

when the goin' gets rough



You've been put to the test,

but it's never enough



You got the touch



You think the bass

is taking away from the vocal?



No, not really. Maybe.



It sounds balanced to me.



It's definitely taking away

from my vocal.



Just take the bass down

and bring up the vocal.



OK, let's do it, Nick.

You heard him.



You want to take it

from the top?



Yeah. Let's try it.



Heat will rock you



And heat will roll you



Baby, don't you know?



My heat will move your soul



Come on, come on,

come on, come on



Love me today



Love me tomorrow



All day



All night



You feel



My heat



Feel, feel, feel,

feel my heat



I think we should repeat

that again.



Feel, feel, feel,

feel, feel



Feel my heat




It's definitely cool.



Let's lay it down. Nick.



You want to lay it down?



Were we rolling

on that rehearsal?



Is he going to fuck me

in the ass?



Is that what you want?



It would be nice.



Fuck her in the ass.



Lock and load, Jack.



I was gonna take a pottery class

at Everywoman's Village.



I want to do that.



Mondays, Wednesdays,

and Fridays at  :  .



I was thinking something.



I was going to see

about taking the G.E.D.



Do you know what that is?



For high school, to graduate.



I never got my diploma.

I feel bad that...



I think you were

right about that.



You should do it,




because you know what?



If you wanted to,

you could do anything.



- Mr. Swope.

- Yes. That's me.



Do you have

your loan application?



- Do you want to follow me?

- Yes, I do.



Kurt, are we gonna

have any more coverage on this...



No. We keep shooting.

This is video.



We shoot and shoot,

and then we deal with it later.



All right, now, Summer...



I want you to take Skye's

thong off.



Actually take it off.



That's good. And finger it.



That's good. Lick the thong.



That's really good technically,

but it lacks passion.



I want to see

some passion here.



Yes, bitch!



Yeah, that's it. Lick my balls.



Fuck me.



Who's your daddy, bitch?



You'll live.



I'm back.



Perfect timing.



What the fuck

took you so long, man?






That's what Buck's

Super Stereo World is about.



It's about the customer

who wants to know...



what they're

getting into technically...



and I have the specific

technical hi-fi background...



to answer any technical question

somebody's going to have.



I've been in sound equipment

long enough to know exactly...



what a guy wants when

he walks through that door...



and that's the kind

of personal touch...



that Buck's Super Stereo

World's going to have.



I miss my two sons.



I miss my little Andrew

and... and my Dirk.



I always felt

like Dirk was my baby...



my new baby.



Don't you miss Dirk?



He's so fuckin' talented,

the bastard.



You know, I just...



I love him, Rollergirl.

I really love the stupid jerk.



I love you, Mom.



I want you to be my mom, Amber.

Are you my mom?



I'll ask you

if you're my mom, OK?



And you say yes, OK?

Are you my mom?



Yes, honey.



Hold on.

Come on, all right?



All we need is the tapes, Burt.



No. You don't

get them until you pay.



In our situation, that doesn't

make any fucking sense!



Wait! We can't pay

the price of the demo tapes...



unless we take the tapes to

the record company and get paid!



Hello?! Exactly!



That's not an M.P.



That's a Y. P... your problem.



Come up with the money,

and I'll give you the tapes.



That's it.



All right, now you're

talking above my head.



I don't know this industry

jargon... Y.P., M. P... whatever.



All I know is that I cannot

get a record contract.



We cannot get a record contract

unless I take these tapes...



and granted,

the tapes themselves are your...



You own them, OK?



But the magic

that is on the tapes...



that fuckin' heart and soul

we put into those tapes...



that is ours,

and you don't own that.



I need to take that magic and

get it to the record company.



And they're waiting for us.



We were supposed to be

there a half-hour ago.



We look like assholes

right now, man!



I don't want to do

this anymore, honey.



I can't.

Let's have fun now.



Let's just go and go and go...



because it's over.

There's too many things.



Let's go walk.



I don't want to leave this room.



Me, either.



- I love you, honey.

- I love you, Mom.



Let me explain to him...



in simple arithmetic...

one, two, three!



Because you don't

fuckin' get it, Burt!



You give us the tapes.

We get the record contract.



We come back and give you

your fuckin' money.



Have you heard the tapes?

Have you even heard them?



We're guaranteed a record deal.

Our stuff is that good!



Now I got it. Now I understand.



You want it to happen...



but it's not going to happen

because it's a Catch-  .



What the fuck does that mean?

What is a Catch-   Burt?



Catch-   gentlemen.

Think about it.



You know what

I'm thinking about, man?



I'm thinking about

kicking some fuckin' ass!



Scotty, get him out of here!



Thanks a lot for backing

us up, too. Real good.






We can't help you.



I have all the papers, though.



Everything's in order, yes?



Yes, but we can't

give you a loan. I'm sorry.






I don't understand.

Why can't you give me the loan?



Mr. Swope,

you're a pornographer.



This bank is not in business

to support pornography.



I'm not a pornographer.

I'm an actor.



- I'm sorry.

- Please.



This is

a new business for me.



All right? It's a real

thing that I want to do.



It's a real thing that I can do.






I'm sorry.



We did everything right.



Honey, it's OK.

Just wait a minute.



Let's just take a minute, OK?



You have something to say.



I have something

to say, all right?



Let's just talk, OK?



If there's something I didn't

fill out correctly on this...



or if there is

something I left out...



or something maybe you

want me to write on there...



just tell me what to write.



I'm sorry.



You're not being fair!



This isn't fair!



This financial institution

cannot endorse pornography.



Stop saying pornography!

Why are you doing this to me?



Please! Please!



I'm sorry.



I am an ac...

I am an actor.



Come on.



Aaron wants that thing

for the thing from...



You fix it up.



Who's your daddy?



How is it?



It is what it is.



Suck that cock, bitch.



Hello. You must be Maggie.



Kathleen O'Malley.

I'm the judge.



You have a lawyer with you?



No, I don't. I do not.



Hello, Judge.



Good morning, Counselor.



You've been divorced

for six years?



Yes, since     .



The money settlement

has been taken care of?



So what we're

talking about, then...



is coming to an agreement

on the custody of...



Of Andrew.



What was decided

during the divorce?



Initially, Andrew

was to go with his father...



for visitation with his mother

from Saturday noon...



to Sunday at  :   with his

mother entitled to bring him...



to her house

or any reasonable place.



Was that the understanding?



Why wasn't that visiting

privilege honored, then?



It was for a while.



I only saw him twice.



It said "reasonable place."



I didn't think that

a house of prostitution...



and drugs and pornography

was that.



I'm sorry?



My wife is in

the pornography business.



I didn't think that environment

was a safe place for my son.



No, this is not right.

My son was never exposed...



to drugs or pornographic

material or any of those things.



My husband just assumed...



I saw it with my own eye,




Did you register a complaint?



My client didn't officially

register, Your Honor...



but I think the circumstances

call for immediate action...



for the safety of the child.



The problem is, Judge,

is that my ex-wife...



she's a sick person,

and she needs help.



She deals in sex and drugs

for a living.



No, I don't do drugs.



Your Honor, she has been in and

out of trouble with the law...



on several occasions

for this sort of thing.



Not anymore.



Have you ever been arrested?



When was the last time

you were arrested...



and what was the charge?



OK, let's get ready

for this... experiment.



Hi. Jack Horner here.



We're in the back

of this beautiful limousine...



in the back seat riding west

along Sherman Way...



and beside me is a beautiful,

talented, gorgeous...



young actress

from adult cinema...



Miss Rollergirl.



Are you ready to get on

with this experiment?



Ready like Freddy.



Yes. And we're going

along, like I said...



west on Sherman Way...



and this is called

On The Lookout...



that's the name of this show...



on the lookout

for a young stud...



who maybe will get

in the back seat here...



and get it on

with Rollergirl.



We're going

to make film history...



right here on videotape.



Waiting for someone?



I'm waiting

for somebody, but...



I'm not sure

if they're going to show up.



You want to wait in the car?






I'm Joe.



You know who I am?



My name's Dirk Diggler.



I mean, you're a guy.

I'm just helping you out.



What do you see here?



I see a girl.



Do you like what you see?



Get in...



and let's make film history.






What do you want to do?



It's what you want to do.



I want to watch you.



I mean, I'm not gay.

I just want to...



Maybe you could jerk off

and I could watch.



Maybe I'll join in later...



but for now,

I just want to watch.






  's all I have.



Go to school?



Yeah, I do.



Where do you go?



Is it OK if I don't tell you?



That's cool.



You recognize Rollergirl

from her films?



We watch her films a lot

at my frat house.



I go to CSUN.






The fuckin' guys

will never believe this.



We've done

a bunch of films together...



Rollergirl and I.



Do you remember me?



We went to school together.



Your name's Brandy, right?



Brandy's your name, right?



I don't know

what you're talking about.



Your name's not Brandy?



Can you do it harder?



Do it a little faster.



All right.



You're hiding her again.



Let's get on the other side.

That's it.



Just nice and sexy...



Listen, pal...



make it a little more sexy.



Don't just ram it in like that.



She's not a hole in the wall.

This is Rollergirl.






Do it faster.



Get your hand wet.



Be quiet.



Can you be more sexy?



Like, cinematically sexy.



Just don't ram it.






Be respectful.

This is Rollergirl.



Are you listening to me?



Just let me do my thing.



This is stupid.



That's it. Cut.



Pull over.



I can't fucking believe this.



You gave me a hard-on.



The least you could do

is jack me off.



What the fuck did you say?



I said it's not cool to leave me

with a hard-on.



Fuck you.



I don't fucking believe this.



This is a fine life

you've made for yourself.



You really should be proud.



I mean really.



Fuck you.



And your fucking films

suck now anyway.



Come on.



I can't.



I can't get it hard.

I just can't. I'm sorry.



You shouldn't do

this sort of thing, faggot.



Get him out of the car!



Jack, Jesus!



Get him out of the truck!



You shouldn't be

coming down here!



- You piece of shit!

- You faggot!



Amateur fucker!



Come on!



You don't ever disrespect me,




You don't ever disrespect me!




Look at you now, huh?



That's what you get, you faggot!



You think you can fuck?

You can't fuck me!



You can't touch me!



Stop it!



You don't do this, donkey-dick!



Fucking faggot!



You don't ever disrespect me...



you fucker!



You fucking piece of shit!



You fucking...



Fucking die, you shithead!



What do you want?



I want an apple fritter,




chocolate with sprinkles...



and a bear claw, too.



And hurry.



How's my little

kung fu fighter?



He's kicking ass

inside my stomach.



See? That's a boy.









Be right back.



What's up?



Can I help you?



I'm going to get a dozen.



Let me get

a couple of bear claws...






a couple glazed.



Oh, apple fritter.



Not that one.

The one in front of it.



That one.






Old-fashioned, yeah.

Give me   of those.



Is this...



Did you do this

for the Christmas?



That's cute.



Give me   of those

sprinkly christmas things.



That's great.



How many is that?



That's   .



Empty the cash register!



Now, motherfucker, and hurry up!



Jesus Christ.



Shut the fuck up!

Hurry up with that shit!



Empty the safe, too, asshole.



And I ain't got all night.



Don't even move.



I'm not moving.



Shut up!



Don't fucking move.



I'm not...



Shut the fuck up.



Don't do that.



You shut the fuck up!



Give me the shit.



This could be the thing...



something to help us

score a little extra cash.



The guy's name is Rahad Jackson.



He's got more money than God.



He's got twice as much

coke, crank, and smack.



All right?



This guy's going to buy anything

anybody wants to sell him.



Just likes people

hanging around at his house...



partying, the whole thing.



How do you know him?



Used to come to the party boys

a lot. Mutrix introduced me.



How would we do it exactly?



How would it all go down?



It's going to go down like this.



I'm going to call him

on the phone and tell him...



I got a half a key

of quality stuff.



Do you have his phone number?



So I'm going

to call him on the phone.



I'm going to give him a price.



How much?



It's half a key.

It's, like,      bucks.



We'll split that up   ways.



It's enough to get

the 'vette fixed.



That's right.



So we're going to do the deal.



We're going to drop half a key

of baking soda into a bag.



We're going to walk over there.

We're going to...



Right there.



This is going to be a nifty

little bit of hustle-bustle.



Do you have his address?



I got his fucking address.



Question. Sorry.



What if he tests the stuff out?



He won't.



How do you know that?



Because I know he won't.



I'm positive.



You guys should be careful.









What do you mean, what?



Just mind your business.



What the fuck?









Dump it in there good.



You can't lay this all on me.



We're going to go in there.



This is it. Fine.



You guys ready for this?



I am.






I was born ready.



All right.



What the fuck is that?



- It's a big gun.

- But why?



Just in case.






You never said anything

about a gun.



Now I'm getting nervous.

Do you have a gun, too?



I don't have a gun.



Let's just get

in and out, all right?



Not too fast. It makes it

look suspicious.



Goddamn it.



You all right?



Just let me do all the talking.



Just be cool.



How you doing? Come on in.



Hey, man!



Hey, Rahad.



Hello, friends!



Which one is Todd?



That's me. We met before,

down at the Party Boys.



Come on in.



These are my friends

Dirk and Reed.



Good to see you. Take a seat.



You want something to drink?

A little pill, a little coke?



You sure

you don't want something?






got something?



We got something here?



Here it is.



That's about half a key there.



That is some quality shit...



Don't worry about him.



If you want to test that out...






Love this part.



You're motorin'



What's your price for flight



So anyway, what's the price?



You'll be all right tonight






Babe, you know,

you're growing up so fast



I don't know...   grand.






That you won't last to say



That's cool.



Sister Christian,

there's so much in life






Don't you give it up

before your time is due



It's true



It's true









You guys want to play baseball?



No, thank you.



What's your price for flight



The black guy

has a gun in his jacket.



And drivin'

through the night



Let's just get the fuck

out of here.



Count the money in the car.



What's your price for flight



And finding Mr. Right?



You'll be all right






You want to see something

really fascinating?



Check it out.



That's sweet.



That thing's not loaded, is it?



Not yet.



Is that silver?



Look... we...



Let's see what happens now, huh?



Could you not point the gun,




Why? You think I can't do it?






You think I can't do it?



You dare me?



No, we don't dare you!



Fucking dare me!






What's your price for flight



Your fucking faces.



What the fuck?



I love this thing.



I make these little mix tapes.



I put all my favorite

songs together.



Which one is this? Number   .



I love it.



When you buy

a tape or an album...



the bands put the songs

in some fucking order...



like they want you

to listen to it in that order.



I hate that.



I don't like to be told

what to listen to...



when to listen to it...



It's Cosmo.



He's Chinese.



That's why he likes

lighting off firecrackers.



Jessie is a friend



Yeah, I know he's been

a good friend of mine



But something's changed,

it ain't hard to define



Jessie's got himself a girl



And I want to make her mine



And she's watchin' him

with those eyes



And she's lovin' him

with that body



I just know it



Ricky Springfield.

He's a buddy of mine.



...late at night



You know, I wish that

I had Jessie's girl



I'm so jealous.



I want to have

Jessie's girl



She should be with me!



Why can't I have

a woman like that?



I play along

with the charade...



We're leaving.






You know, I feel so dirty

when they start talking cute



I want to tell her

that I love her



But the point

is probably moot



'Cause she's watchin' him

with those eyes



And she's lovin' him

with that body



I just know it



And he's holdin' her in

his arms late, late at night



You know, I wish

that I had Jessie's girl



I wish

that I had Jessie's girl



Where can I find

a woman like that



Like Jessie's girl?



I wish

that I had Jessie's girl



Where can I find a woman



We're leaving.



We got to split.



We got to go.



You just got here.



We got somewhere else to go.



We're not leaving yet.



We're here now, and we want

something else from you.



We want something else from you.






What the hell are you doing?



Let's just go.



In the master bedroom...



under the bed...



in a floor safe.






What is the matter with you?

Let's go.



Shut up, Dirk.



I told you I got a plan.



Are you kidding me, Kitty?



No, I'm not.



I'm not kidding.

I want what's in the safe.



We want what is in

the goddamn safe...



in the goddamn

master bedroom...



in the goddamn fucking

floor safe.



Don't be crazy, OK?



We don't know anything

about this.



This is not at all

what we wanted.



Shut the fuck up.

Do not reach for your gun.



Don't reach for your gun!



He went in the bedroom!



What are you doing?



He went in the bedroom.



Did you go crazy?



He's got coke, and he's got cash

in that safe...



and if we leave here without it,

we're idiots.



We came here to do something...



and we can do it, all right?

Are you with me?



Listen to me!

Let's just split right now.



This is not supposed

to be the thing!



That's what

we came here to do...



and that's what

I'm going to do right now.



Fuck you!



Don't be stupid!



Come on!



Come on, you puppies!



It's coming down for puppies!



Come back!






Fucking son of a bitch!



Oh, God.



Oh, fuck!



Fucking stupid motherfucker!






Could you please help me?






I just wanted to come

and say sorry.






I just want to know

if you can help me.



I need help.






I'm sorry, you know.



I need help.



I'm sorry, too, kid.



It's OK, baby.



We all need to start again.



It's OK.



You're all right, baby.



One more. Let's go.



Please.   .



Did I hear someone say deal?



This weekend

and this weekend only...



Buck's Super Cool Stereo Store

is making super-cool deals...



on all name brands.



We're open. We're ready.



All you need to do is walk over,

get down, and come inside us.












That was great.



I said shut up, Colonel!
























No, that's a "Q"!

That's supposed to be a "G"!



Oh, man!






What the heck?



Naughty, naughty, Candi.



Let's push.



Come on, baby.



Go, go, go. Push, push, push.



God almighty, fucking Christ!



Don't cuss, sweetie.

Just push, all right?



Last big push for the doctor.

Big push. This is it.



I got it!



He got it!



It's a boy!



No hurry.

Just sometime this year, huh?



Put it where I told you

to put it.



You've got to turn the fan on.



It smells good, doesn't it?



It smells like shit.



This is Puerto Rican cooking.



Everybody's complaining

in the whole neighborhood.



This is what they're

complaining about. Taste this.



Not now. I'll taste it later.



Honey, honey.



Take the dirt

on one side of your room...



and move it

to the other side of your room.



Then one side will look clean

that used to look dirty.



Then that will be good, huh?



Johnny Weissmuller!



That's my swimmer!



Say, "Hello, Uncle Jack."



Who is the olympic-fever baby?



Say, "Hi, Jack."



"Watch me kick."



He's not going

to piss in the pool?



I don't think so.



I got to talk to you...



about the stereo modification

for this system.



No technical shit.



If you don't get

the right modification...



it's not going to be loud.



I don't want loud. I want...






That's what I want.



Great, honey.



Are we ready?



We've got all the time we want.



What are you looking at?



I'm looking at you.



You're staring.



You know what I'm staring at?



I'm staring at the foxiest bitch

in the whole world.



I've been around

this block twice now.



I'm looking for something.



A clue.



Been looking for clues,

and something led me back here.



So here I am.



Could have been me

that was at Ringo's place...



when the shit went down.



I know how it is.

I've been there.



We've all done bad things.



We've all had those guilty

feelings in our heart.



You want to take

your brain out of your head...



and wash it and make it clean.



I'm going to help you

settle this.



First we're going to check

for holes, see what we can find.



Then we're going

to get nice and wet...



and you're going

to spread your legs.



That's good.



So you know me.



You know my reputation.



   inches is a tough load.

I don't treat you gently.



That's right.



I'm Brock Landers.



So I'm going to be nice.



I'm going to ask you

one more time.



Where the fuck is Ringo?



I am a star.



I am a big, bright,

shining star.



That's right.



I just...



I just want to talk to you.






I know where it goes.

Special help by SergeiK