De-Lovely Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the De-Lovely script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Kevin Kline as Cole Porter.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of De-Lovely. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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De-Lovely Script



Hello, Cole.



l let myself in.



We're not late, are we? l hate to be late.



No, we're fine.



That sounded lovely.



l hate funeral music.



Though, under the circumstances,

l suppose l should say my prayers.



Why start now?






lf l believed in God,

he would be a song-and-dance man.



He would have to carry a tune.

Preferably one of mine.



Do you think he would like this?



In the still of the night



As I gaze from my window



At the moon in its flight



My thoughts all stray to you



You wrote that about Linda, of course.



Did l?



Songs don't have to be about

someone, you know.



We should start.



l thought we had.



Cole, you have to play us into it.



lt's your life. Your music will be our guide.






In the still of the night



As I gaze from my window



Oh, my God, that's me! l'm so young.



You satisfied?



He's very good.



He's not much of a singer.



You never were.



In the still of the night



The words, l can't hear the words.



While the world is in slumber



What's the matter, can't he take direction?



Cole, talk to me,

l'll pass your thoughts along.



He can't hear you.



ln a musical,

everyone works for the composer.



Times have changed. May l borrow this?



Times have changed



Never open with a ballad.



This isn't one of

those avant-garde things, is it?



lt's got to be entertaining, it's a musical.



And a love story, of course.



A little unconventional, but honest.



You're playing with my life.



lt's my show.



Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock



Plymouth Rock



would land on them



In olden days



lt's your life, Cole.



Was looked on something shocking



Oh, my God.



lt's an opening number, of course.



lt's the Berlins.



lrving, Ellin.



lrving gave me my start.

This is my whole life.



There's Monty Woolley from Yale.

Look at Monty.



That costume is all wrong.

He never wore that.



That's all wrong. Change it.



And black's white today

And day's night today



L. B. Mayer and the gang from MGM.



The Hollywood years.



When folks who still can ride in jitneys



found out that Vanderbilts and Whitneys

lack baby clothes



Anything goes



Boris and Jack.



Bill Wrather.



Gerald, Sara, Honoria, where are the boys?






Anything goes



Hi, Mom.



And every night, the set that's smart



is intruding on nudist parties in studios



Anything goes






So though I'm not a great romancer



I know that you're bound to answer

when I propose



Anything goes



If saying your prayers you like,

if green pears you like



If old chairs you like, if backstairs you like,

If love affairs you like



Stop, this is wrong for Linda.



She should sing a different part, stop.



ls it me?



No, dear.



lt's backstairs and love affairs.

lt's too early for complications.



We're gonna get ready for Paris.

lf you're not in Paris, l'll see you later.



Come on, move along.



You're doing beautifully.

But then, you always do.



Remember, it's your story, too.

lt's a love story.



-That's why l'm frightened.

-Don't be.



Have you ever seen a musical

without a happy ending?



All right, then.



We've just heard Anything Goes...



as if it's Cole's declaration of independence.



lndependence from whom?



Never mind.



Don't argue with the director, love.

Leave that to me.



He's very strict.



She can't hear you.



l know.



You're seeing Cole for the first time.



You start to move towards him...



because there's a spirit in his eye.



Go ahead.



Move slowly.



You'll be fine.



Weren't we fools to lose each other?



Weren't we fools to say goodbye?



God, she was beautiful.



She could stop your heart.



No, start it.



You chose another



So did I



If we'd realized

our love was worth defending



Then the story's broken threads

we might be mending



They're so good, it's a shame

more people aren't paying attention.



Cole can take care of that.



Which one is Cole Porter?



The one who's standing, who's being

so serious about being playful...



that's my husband Gerald.



And the one who's playing at not being

serious at all, that's Cole Porter.



-Has somebody died?

-l think it was us, Cole.



-Linda Lee.

-Sara Murphy.



-We met at Lady Mendel's.

-Yes, indeed.



ls that Linda Lee Thomas with Sara?



-l really couldn't say.

-No, it is, and just as they described her:



The most beautiful divorcée in Paris.

My God, she's ravishing.



ls this gonna be another Porter fascination?

An obsession without preliminaries?



Obsessions don't have preliminaries.



-Will you join me?

-l'm a married man.



No, come on grab a chair.



Let's really light a fire

under these deadbeats.



You begin.



I have heard, among this clan



You are called ''the forgotten man''



Well, did you ever?



What a swell party this is



Have you heard that Mimsie Starr

just got pinched in the Astor Bar?



Well, did you ever?



What a swell party this is



Take over.



-You're not gonna pinch her in the ass?

-l might.



Reggie's rather scatterbrained



He dove in when the pool was drained



Well, did you ever?



What a swell party this is



It's great, it's grand



It's wonderland



It's tops, it's first



It's DuPont, it's Hearst



What clothes, quel chic



What pearls, they're the peak



What glamor, what cheer



This will simply slay you, dear



Have you heard the coast of Maine

just got hit by a hurricane?



Well, did you ever?



What a swell party this is



Have you heard that poor dear Blanche



Got run down by an avalanche?



Well, did you ever?

What a swell party this is



What daiquiris



What sherry, please



What burgundy



What great Pommery



What brandy, wow



What whiskey, here's how



What gin and what beer



Will you sober up, my dear?



Have you heard, Professor Munch



ate his wife and divorced his lunch?



Well, did you ever?

What a swell party this is



Have you heard, it's in the stars



Next July, we collide with Mars?



Well, did you ever?

What a swell party



a swell party, a swellegant, elegant party



this is!



God, we're a hit!



Now we have a party.



-Shall we?

-Yes, let's.



My God.



Grace personified.



Was that me? Did l sweep you off your feet?



Because l hadn't intended

to do that for quite a while.



You really are smooth,

aren't you, Mr. Porter?



Never till now, Mrs. Thomas.



Your song was absolutely delirious.



Thank you. l'm never sure

if they get the joke.



-Especially when it's on them.

-Learn to trust your audience.



l trust it, l just wish l could expand it.



He seems a bit calculating, don't you think?



-Weren't you?

-Not entirely.



l said l was ambitious,

but l was anything but an opportunist.



After all, l spent    years in Paris...



just having fun.



What are we talking here, a love affair?



A business proposition...



or a social arrangement?



There was nothing arranged...



or negotiated about our relationship.



lt was...



our own.



What about these gloves? ls it really true...



that you only wear them once

and then you discard them?






To where do you discard them

when you're finished?



l send them to a cousin in Louisville.



Not this one, all right? Let me keep this.



Look at that hand. You should never

cover your hands, they're beautiful.



-They're ungainly.

-No, they're strong.



No one's ever thought of me

as strong before.



l think of you as strong and down to earth...



-and solid. l think of you in many ways.

-You're sweet.



lsn't that Diaghilev and his boy

from the Ballets Russes?



That's his premier danseur.



-Would you like to meet them?

-Don't know, would l?



Perhaps another time. Bonjour.



He is an acquaintance from yesterday.



An unmanned piano. Come on.



I know you hate to hear



That I adore you, dear



Not you, dear.



But grant me, just the same



I'm not entirely to blame






you'd be



so easy to love



Christ, that cue is as loud as my whistle.



And it's too early for another song.



lf you can say it better than

you write it, fine. Otherwise, Cole sings.



All right.



The yearning for



So swell to keep every home fire



Thank you.



Burning for



We'd be so grand at the game



So carefree together



that it does seem a shame



If you can't see



Your future with me



'Cause you'd be



oh, so easy to love



Dear Cole.



You have so much nerve, Mr. Porter.

God, l'd be frightened.



l'm just showing off.



There are much worse things to be afraid of.



You have a dazzling gift

and a life to go with it.



What could you possibly be afraid of?






l'm not afraid of that.



l hope you never will be.



Even when you really get to know me.



We'd be so grand



at the game



So carefree together



that it does seem a shame



If you



can't see



Your future with me



'Cause you'd be



oh, so easy



to love



l thought you would be

tired of your apartment.



You're gonna have to help me out here.



l mean, if this is really you.






This is how it was. This is how l was.



l wanted every kind of love

that was available.



I could never find them in the same person.



Or the same sex.



l've never had the urge to be

completely honest with anyone until you.



lt's quite disturbing.



Especially since l haven't been

totally honest.



You knew so much about me

when we met, Cole...



don't you think l'd heard

a thing or two about you?



Then you know about....



Well, that l can be....



That l have...



other interests.



lnterests, the pursuit of which

some people might find cruel to you.



You mean men?



Yes, men.



Let's just say you like them more than l do.



Nothing is cruel that fulfills your promise.



l've been promising all my life.



l've got a notebook

full of promise. Trunks full.



l want to be more than promising to you.



We could fulfill your promise together.



We could be singular as a couple.



Would you stay for dinner?



lt will be just us.



l'd like that.



So, did you love her then?



Then? I don't know.



I thought I might discover what love was.



The physical side was always....



We could take it or leave it.



It was pleasant enough.



But the intimacy was stunning.



Good morning.



What's that?



lt's an idea for a song.



This part, right here,

l think would go nicely with...



''l love you.''



What do you think?



l think that would be beautiful.



l do, you know.



You don't have to love me

the way that l love you, Cole.



Just love me.



lt's so easy.



This verse you've started seems to me



The Tin Pan-tithesis of melody



So to spare you all the pain






l almost didn't recognize you

under all that hair.



We've all matured since school, Coley.



At Yale, the only grooms

that interested you were in the stables.



Monty, behave yourself.

This is the happiest day of my life.



The night is young, the skies are clear



So if you wanna go walking, dear



Along with the bluebird, dogwood is

the great harbinger of the Kentucky spring.



-They're beautiful.

-Thank you.



l'm ready.






Where is he?



You might prefer privacy.



l would not.



To holy matrimony, then.



And whatever further perforations

you may put in it.



-Excuse me.




Sorry, Monty.



lt's good to see you again, Mrs. Thomas.



-lt's Mrs. Porter.

-Not yet.



Don't blame poor Cody...



he was only doing what l told him.



My name never suited?

Thomas not proper enough?



lt's another name for ''shame.''



So now you're all snug and proper, are you?



Marrying this fawn?



Why are you here, Edward?



There's a certain section of the bar here.



The left side, l think, significantly enough...



where your groom and his gentleman

friends like to call on each other.



l assumed, for symbolic purposes at least...



that the wedding would be held there.

l had to assume, you see...



since my invitation never arrived.



-l would invite you to hell.

-No need.



Already there.

Too bad you never cared for it.



ln spite of caring for you once--



My fault, then.

You offered care, l needed passion.



What does the fawn need?



Can you supply him?

Surely not with everything.



And what can he give you?






Don't turn your back on me, Mrs. Thomas.



That's so funny.



From what l remember,

it was the position you most favored.



-Are you all right?

-l'm fine.






Mr. Thomas, you have

the most peculiar sense of timing.



You think you can make her happy

because you won't violate her delicacy?



Because you don't need her as a woman?



l think maybe

we define ''woman'' differently.



l don't define it as ''punching bag,''

for instance.



Cole's not like you. He creates, you destroy.



And as you can see,

you're a failure even at that.



Let's get married.



See the crowd in that church



See the proud parson plopped on his perch



Get the sweet beat of that organ



sealing our doom



Here goes the groom, boom!



How they cheer and how they smile



As we go galloping down the aisle



It's divine, dear, it's diveen, dear



It's de-wunderbar, it's de-victory



It's de-vallop, it's de-vinner

It's de-voiks



-Mrs. Murphy?




The knot is tied and so we take



A few hours off to eat wedding cake



It's delightful, it's delicious



It's de-lovely



It feels so fine



-Thank you, dearest.

-For what?



For all of this, for our future.



For being with me just now with Edward.



That was nothing.

That was pest control, that's all.



To the pop of champagne



Off we hop in our plush little plane



Till a bright light through the darkness



They seem so happy.



Let's hope he doesn't misbehave.



Our day's complete

And what a beautiful bridal suite



It's dreamy, it's drowsy



It's de-reverie, it's de-rhapsody



It's de-regal, it's de-royal



It's de-Ritz, it's de-lovely



We settle down



as man and wife



To solve the riddle called married life



It's delightful



It's delicious



Now you love her, yes?



l said the words.



l meant them.



l wanted to mean them.



God knows l wrote them often enough.



And even more after we were married.



Maybe that says something.



They did always sound better

with music under them.



God, she was beautiful.






We had such parties.



We had a floating dance floor

on the Grand Canal.



You know that Robert Browning

once lived in that palazzo?



He got a lot more written than I did,

but he didn't have half the fun.



There they are. Hello, Berlins.



Welcome to Palazzo Rezzonico.



I got so out of hand that finally

Linda had to bring in reinforcements.



And being Linda, she brought the best.



She single-handedly

orchestrated my reformation.



l have to say, the music is not bad, either.



-ls that Cole?

-Yes, it is.



This funny thing



called love



Just who can solve its mystery?






You're lrving Berlin.



-Am l interrupting?

-No, l mean, yes.



But it's an honor to be interrupted

by America's greatest songwriter.



-What a pleasure.

-The most publicized, that's for sure.



And rightfully so.



Linda has told us so much about you,

she's left out the most important stuff.



-What would that be?

-Your songs.



l heard about them, but l've never actually

heard one played before.



You were listening to that?

That's a bit daunting.



l need a drink. Can l offer you something?



No, it's okay.

l'm gonna let you get back to your work.



l'd love to hear the tune when it's done.



lt's a real pleasure. A real pleasure.



-Pleasure's mine, welcome to Venice.

-Thank you very much.



-We'll have some fun later.

-l look forward to that, Cole.



I was a humdrum person



Leading a life apart



When love flew in through my window wide



And quickened my humdrum heart



Love flew in through my window



I was so happy then



But after love



had stayed a little while



Love flew out again



What is this thing called love?



This funny thing



called love?



Just who can solve its mystery?



Why should it make



a fool of me?



I saw you there



one wonderful day



You took my heart



and threw it away



That's why I ask the Lord



in heaven above



What is this thing



called love?



What is this thing called love?



This funny thing



called love?



Just who can solve its mystery?



Why should it make



a fool of me?



I saw you there



one wonderful day



You took my heart and threw it away



That's why I ask the Lord



in heaven above



What is this thing



called love?



Bravo, Cole.



You know, Cole, you're spoiling us.



And, excuse me, you're pampering yourself.



You have far too much talent

to waste as an amateur.



And we must do something about that.



l think it may be the most beautiful

love song you've written yet.



Why, thank you.

There's quite a bit of you in it.



What do you think you'll call it?



l don't know, something about confusion.



Dinner is served.



Yes, let's eat.



Thank you for your indulgence.



That was the truth, for the most part.



There was a lot of Linda in that song.



I wish there could have been more.



We are leaving soon, you know.

The tour begins.



l heard.



l don't like it one bit.



l don't know

what l'm going to do without you.



Of course, you know...



it is only a European tour...



and l can travel.



l could mysteriously appear

in certain European cities from time to time.



But you are a married man.

What about Mrs. Porter?



Boris, l've told you...



Mrs. Porter...



tries very hard to want what l want.



Surely not everything.



Whatever l need.



As long as she knows

the rest belongs to her.



And what is the rest?



Everything that happens in the daylight.



Which is why l have to go.



-l'll see you there?

-Of course.



You could have a great career



And you should, yes, you should



Only one thing stops you, dear



You're too good, way too good



If you want a future, darling,

why don't you get a past?



'Cause that fatal moment's coming at last



We're all alone, no chaperone



Can get our number



The world's in slumber



Let's misbehave



There's something wild about you, child

It's so contagious



Let's be outrageous



Let's misbehave



When Adam won Eve's hand



He wouldn't stand for teasing



He didn't care about

those apples out of season



They say that spring means just one thing



To little lovebirds



We're not above birds, let's misbehave



l'm being hailed.



lt's from lrving.






-You knew.

-l had hoped.



No, you knew.



Okay, l didn't know

what the show was to be called.



lt's to be called Paris.



And lrving has assured the producer...



that l'm the only one

with the suitable sophistication...



to do the show.



So it seems that we would be

leaving Venice...



to go to New York to do a show called Paris.



We'll go, won't we?



Darling, what do you think?



l know you would like to.



You orchestrated the whole thing,

you willed it into being.



l'm just not sure l'm ready.



Cole, l promise you, you are ready.



lrving Berlin believes in your talent.



He wouldn't recommend you

simply out of friendship.



No, l suppose not.



Cole, it will be a wonderful chance for you,

and a good change for us.






Yes, we'll go?



Yes, it will be a big change.



l think we need a change.



l never intended this

to cause a breach between us.



lt hasn't, it just....



Cole, we never had a formal agreement,

we don't need one now.



lt's done.



l can't promise you that.



Just so it doesn't put us in jeopardy.



Or your music.



You really love me that much?



You are the rhythm of my heart.



They're playing your song.

Would you care to dance?



Why not?



They say that bears have love affairs



And even camels



We're merely mammals, let's misbehave



See, true love.



l'm not so sure about true.



Linda played that beautifully.



l think that's when l began to really love her.



All right, Linda, Cole,

smile if you're in love, please.



Didn't that make things

even more complicated?



-What things?

-Your other relationships.



No, why should it?



Isn't that why birds do it, bees do it?



Even educated fleas do it



Let's do it



Let's fall in love



In Spain, the best upper sets do it



Lithuanians and Letts do it



Let's do it



Let's fall in love



The Dutch in old Amsterdam do it



Not to mention the Finns



Welcome, sir.



Folks in Siam do it



Think of Siamese twins



Say hello to Mrs. Porter.



Richard, would you please take my hat?



People say in Boston, even beans do it



Let's do it, let's fall in love



Cold Cape Cod clams



against their wish, do it



Even lazy jellyfish do it



Let's do it, let's fall in love



Electric eels, I might add, do it



Though it shocks them, I know



Why ask if shad do it?



Waiter, bring me shad roe



In shallow shoals, English soles do it



Goldfish in the privacy of bowls do it



Let's do it



Let's fall in love



The dragonflies in the reeds do it



Sentimental centipedes do it



Let's do it



Let's fall in love



Mosquitoes, heaven forbid, do it



So does every katydid do it



Let's do it



Let's fall in love



The most refined



ladybugs do it



When a gentlemen calls



Moths in your rugs do it



What's the use of mothballs?



Locusts in trees do it



Bees do it



Even overeducated fleas do it



Let's do it, let's fall in love



Let's do it, let's fall in love



Let's do it, let's fall in love



Very cheeky. Excellent.



-That's so far.

-Listen to them.



One act down, one to go.



Darling, for you.



God, Linda.






Just a little memory.



There are no little memories with you.



Patrick, you all right?



ls he all right doing that?

His doctors approve?



Probably not,

but he's got to have a childhood.



His sickness seems to come and go.



Patrick, let me give you

the key to the cartwheel.



lt's all mental.



Keep your arms straight.



Here comes trouble.



You plant it, watch this, ready?



And plant it like that. See?



Good catch.



l always thought so.



Sun-tanned, wind-blown



Honeymooners at last alone



-You know, this was written as a duet.




Oh, how lucky we are



While I give to you and you give to me



True love, true love



So on and on it will always be



True love, true love



Cole, l know this is your song,

but it just doesn't sound like you.



Linda thinks it does.



With nothing to do



Are you going to put it

in the new show you're working on?



-Why not?

-Because it doesn't sound like me.



Love forever true






Oh, my goodness,

could you be any more wonderful?



Come in.







l was lying in my bed just now, thinking...



l don't want to stay in that room.

l want to stay here tonight, is that all right?



Of course it is, darling.

ls everything all right?



Are you lonely?



No, l'm fine.



lt's just that....



lt's funny, this afternoon...



l was watching you...



and watching you

watching the Murphys' kids...



and l thought about how happy we are

and how much we have...



and then l thought about the Murphys

and how happy they are...



and l think we could be....



We are as happy as the Murphys,

but we could be happy in the way that...



the Murphys are happy

if we had what the Murphys have.



They bring them so much happiness.



l'm so glad l'm not trying

to write this as a song.



lt would be a beautiful serenade.




or how do you wanna play this?



Comedy, tragedy? Musical comedy, farce?



Why don't we just play?



Good idea.



Night and day



You are the one



Only you beneath the moon



And under the sun



Whether near to me or far



It's no matter, darling, where you are



I think--






-lt's impossible, l just can't do it.




He is only an actor,

but he's still maybe right.



He's tried it seven times.

The song is a problem.



l told you, we should have given it

to Astaire.



Beard, the song is not a problem,

it's a challenge.



Just give me a moment.



Jack, dear boy...



what can l do to help?

Anything, just name it.



Write another song.



God, that cuts me right to the quick.



l know it's God-awful,

but it's the best l can do.



And we open in three days.



Look, Mr. Porter, the song goes

so high and so low, it is impossible.



lt's not impossible.

Jack, l wrote it with you in mind.



l know you've got it. l can sing it,

and l have a range of three notes.



Where did you come up with it?



l get all my ideas from a little Chinese man

in Poughkeepsie.



Listen, you can sing this.

The problem is, you're not having any fun.



Just don't think about the melody.



Just think about the words.

lt's about obsession.



lt's about being in love.



You've been in love?



All right, obsess about it.

Just sing it with me.



Think about the lyrics and just look at me.

One more time. Jimmy?



Like the beat beat beat of the tom tom



When the jungle shadows fall



Like the tick tick tock of the stately clock



-As it stands against the wall

-lt's relentless, it's obsessive.



Like the drip drip drip of the raindrops



When the summer shower is through



So a voice within me keeps repeating



You you you



Night and day



You are the one



Only you beneath the moon



And under the sun



That's beautiful.



Whether near to me or far



It's no matter, darling, where you are



I think of you



Night and day



Jimmy, try E flat.



Day and night



Why is it so



That this longing for you



Follows wherever I go?



In the roaring traffic's boom



In the silence of my lonely room



I think of you



Night and day



Night and day



Under the hide of me



There's an, oh, such a hungry yearning



Burning inside of me



And this torment won't be through



Till you let me spend my life



Making love to you



Day and night



Night and day






I never believed in anything,

least of all myself, until Linda.



She restored me to myself.



And l gave her back...






Hardly payment in kind.



lrving swears that The Times critic

was dancing up the aisle.



Our producer was still standing

in the front row, applauding.



No triumph complete without this.

Thank you.



You're welcome. Let's not be late.



l'm gonna ride with Monty

if it's all right with you.



He says the London producers

are dying to talk to me...



about the West End transfer.

ls it all right if l join you later?



Can't you speak with him at the party?



No business at the party, only fun.



-lt's all right, l'll be there soon.

-All right.






Beard, you know, you're very dear to me,

always have been...



but these opening night gifts of yours

are becoming more and more intricate.



lt's not as elegant as one of

Linda's cigarette cases, l know...



but l believe it may be better suited

to the daring side of your nature.



Monty, you've always been so solicitous

vis-à-vis my nature. You pamper me.



l have to, my boy. Nature is a nasty bitch.



lf nature were fair, l'd be Marlene Dietrich.



If you wake up and dream



Life will suddenly seem

as gay as it used to be



Never mind what they say

Let your dreams dream away



And you'll still be alive

when they're dead



Your words.



Yes, Monty, but it's a song,

not a call to arms.



Arms weren't what l had in mind.



l wanted to tell you privately

how much all your attention did for me.



And Night and Day,

how much it means to me.



From here on,

you two will have to improvise.



l'm gonna find some trouble of my own

in the Ramble.



Shall we have a cigarette?



Good morning.



This is something new.



To be inconsiderate,

to ignore your obligations.



l know.



l'm so sorry, l really am.

That was unforgivable.



Cole, you disappointed a lot of people

last night.



The London producers were there.



Some Hollywood people were most anxious

to speak with you.



l don't want to go to Hollywood,

and l don't want to fight.



l don't want to fight.



-And l don't want to blame.

-Thank you for that, dear.



But if things are gonna be different...



l'd like to know.



l'll tell you as soon as l know.



You must have known already.



l got the ending.



I didn't know how much my happiness

would hurt us.



We couldn't hear the songs

the same way anymore.



Suddenly the lyrics all sounded like code.



In olden days, a glimpse of stocking



was looked on as something shocking



Now heaven knows



Anything goes



Good authors, too,

who once knew better words



Now only use four-letter words



Writing prose



Anything goes



If saying your prayers you like



They love your song.



-If green pears you like

-If green pears you like



-If old chairs you like

-If old chairs you like



Don't you?



If backstairs you like



-If love affairs you like

-If love affairs you like



If love affairs you like



With young bears you like



Why, nobody will oppose



So though I'm not a great romancer



I know that I'm bound to answer



When you propose



Anything goes



Ellin says lrving is having

a great run in Hollywood.



The Gershwins are there--



You want me to leave

at the top of my game?



-If old hymns you like

-If old hymns you like



-If bare limbs you like

-If bare limbs you like



-If Mae West you like

-If Mae West you like



Or me undressed you like



l'll give this to you now in case...



Monty has more producers for you to visit.



The set that's smart is intruding on

nudist parties in studios



Anything goes



Anything goes



Anything goes



-By the way, do you want one?

-No, thank you.



-That's beautiful. From Linda?

-Yeah, of course, opening night.



Linda must be keeping Cartier in business

all by herself.



-She does spoil me. l don't deserve it.

-No, you probably don't.



Which reminds me, how's Linda?



She's all right.



A bit more fragile than usual,

but all right. How's Patrick?



There's a doctor in Zurich

who may give us more time.



They don't give you much hope

with tuberculosis.



So sorry.



Does Linda know? She hasn't said anything.






She said, ''We live in castles built on sand.''



l just think that life has been

one great carnival...



and now we're teetering on the high wire.



Yes, but you've got Sara to catch you,

and l have Linda.



Ever wonder who's there to catch them?



When they begin



The beguine



It brings back the sound



Of music so tender



It brings back a night



Of tropical splendor



It brings back a memory






I'm with you once more



under the stars



And down by the shore



an orchestra's playing



And even the palms



seem to be swaying



When they begin



the beguine



To live it again



is past all endeavor



Except when that tune



clutches my heart



And there we are



Swearing to love forever



Promising never



Never to part



What moments divine



What rapture serene



Till clouds came along to disperse



the joys we had tasted



And now when I hear people curse



the chance that was wasted



I know but too well



what they mean



So don't let them begin



the beguine



Let the love that was once a fire



remain an ember



Let it sleep like the dead desire



I only remember



When they begin



the beguine



When they begin



the beguine



l am so terribly sorry, darling.

l know how late l must be.






-Linda, you missed the whole thing.

-l misplaced the cigarette case.



l'd rather have had you.



lt would have been bad luck.



To hell with luck.



This feels very wrong.

l don't like bringing up this whole thing.



lt happened and it was over,

and that was that.



We never brought it up again.



Finished, done.



Done, maybe. Finished?



-l won't have it.

-lt's not your choice.



Anyway, l hope you like it.



Linda, what were you thinking?



You wouldn't have lost it.



l had hoped not.



-What are you talking about?




Absolutely nothing. Definitively nothing.



Shall we go now?



l would hate to compound the felony

by making us late for the party.



That would be terrible, dreadful.

A tragedy too great to bear.



God, Linda, what's happened?



Nothing, just a small thing. lt's just not like

being late or missing an opening.



A very small thing...



that stopped growing.



My sweet girl, l'm so sorry.



l didn't want to tell you like this.



l just went to the doctor,

he said l should rest, and it got so late.



l'm sorry.



l wanted it so, Cole.



l wanted it for us.



l know.



-l want to take you home now. All right?

-l don't want to go home.



l don't even feel like we have a home.



Then we'll find a new one.



We'll get out of town, we'll travel.

We'll find a new place.



Some place good for you and good for me.



lf everyone's moved to Hollywood,

then we'll go there, too. We'll try it.



We'll make a fresh start.



Let's just get the doctor in tonight,

just to make sure you're all right.



No more doctors.



l already know l'm not all right.



Linda, then it wasn't meant to be, that's all.



So, fine, we'll be all right.



We'll be just fine with what was meant to be.



That's you and that's me.



That's what was meant to be.



l love you, Linda Porter.



l love you so much.



-Okay, darling, don't cheat.

-lt's not in my nature to cheat.



All right, okay.



-All right. Ready?

-l'm ready.



My goodness.



ls it all right?



No, l'd like something a little bigger, please.



lt's Hollywood, darling,

we do things big out here.



This is beautiful. Look at the bow.






Let me show you the inside.



All of Metro is proud to have you

as part of our family, Cole.



You said that, L.B.

Thank you, l appreciate it.



l wanted to tell you again,

just to be sure you know.



-We know you'll be happy here.

-l'm already happy.



Swell. That makes me happy, you're happy.



You know who else makes me happy?

lrving Berlin.



Every song lrving Berlin writes, l love.

You know why?



Because his songs sound like

what people who aren't clever...



say to each other when they're in love.

Real love songs.



Not clever love songs.



Could you write real love songs?



When you write funny songs,

l want funny-funny, not clever-funny.



Could you do that for me?



You're stronger if you're not angry.



Tickle their ribs as you slide in the knife.



Try it.



I'll remember forever

when I was but three



Mama, who was clever, remarking to me



If, son, when you're grown up

you want everything nice



I've got your future sewn up

if you take this advice



Be a clown



Be a clown



All the world loves a clown



Act the fool, play the calf



And you'll always have the last laugh



Wear the cap and the bells



And you'll rate with all the great swells



If you become a doctor,

folks'll face you with dread



And if you become a dentist,

they'll be glad when you're dead



You'll get a bigger hand

if you can stand on your head



Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown



-Be a clown

-Be a clown



-All the world

-Loves a clown



-Show 'em tricks

-Tell 'em jokes



And you'll only stop with top folks



Be a crack jackanapes



And they'll imitate you like apes



Why be a great composer

with your rent in arrears?



Why be a major poet

and you'll owe it for years



When crowds will pay to giggle

if you wiggle your ears?



Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown



Be a clown, be a clown



All the world loves a clown



If you just make them roar



Watch your mountebank account soar



Wear a painted mustache



And you're sure to make a big splash



A college education I should never propose



A bachelor's degree

won't even keep you in clothes



But millions you will win

if you can spin on your nose



Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown



-Give 'em quips

-Give 'em quips



-Give 'em fun

-Give 'em fun



And they'll pay to say you're A-one



If you become a farmer,

you've the weather to buck



If you become a gambler,

you'll be stuck with your luck



But, Jack, you'll never lack

if you can quack like a duck



Be a clown



Be a clown



Be a clown



Jesus, though, it was a relief

just to have fun and...



do something trite and not care a damn...



and get paid a hundred times

what you'd be paid for something good.



I love you under my skin



They'll never know the difference.



What's it going to be called?



What's the dreariest title ever?



l bet Coley $ ...



that he could never write a song called

I Love You.



Get your money out. l'm telling you,

Louis B. Mayer is going to love this.



He's going to weep.



l need a time of year. A month.



-All right, April.




Perfect cliché, April.



''I love you'' hums the April breeze



I love you under my skin



I love you



Is it a sin?



Certainly not.



''I love you''



hums the April breeze



''I love you''



Echo the hills



''I love you''



The golden dawn agrees



As once more she sees






It's spring again



And birds on the wing again



Start to sing again



The old melody



''I love you''



That's the song of songs



And it all belongs to you and me



It was just



one of those things



Just one of those crazy flings



lt's a real pearl.



Go ahead, dear, take it.



lt's tiny, but trust me,

it's still the biggest thing...



you can get your fingers around

in this crowd.



-You'll make big bucks on this.

-That's swell.



lt's something, isn't it?



Yes, it's lovely.



lt's so imaginative to actually have the party

at the studio.



ls absolutely everything in Hollywood

connected to movies?



Everything good.



That's why we're trying to coax Cole

into permanent residency.



How would half of every year be?



l think Hollywood's fantastic,

it's like living on the moon.



Or       leagues under the sea.



When we started painting the town



Can you believe this?



Linda, Hollywood was your idea, not mine.



Now you're acting like

it's the worst place on earth.



l had thought that the change of weather

might be good for us both.



l had no idea how hot

the climate would really be.



The climate is good for growing flowers.



Everything grows wild, Cole.



And the pickings are far too easy.



Now and then

It was great fun



But it was just one of those things



-Mr. Porter, how are you?

-Mr. Nelson.



What you did with that song

is just splendid.



l'd love to introduce you to my wife.






I hope we could coax you into a song.



Be right back.



-Good song.

-Thank you.



There's a plan for later.



Linda's being very prickly tonight,

but l'll try to get away.



-Plenty of company lined up?

-Good company, l promise.



Thank you all. This is indeed

an honor and a surprise.



Obviously L.B. wants you all

to get home early...



that's why he's asked me to sing.



So here goes.



Before you leave these portals



To meet less fortunate mortals



There's just one final message

I would give to you



Now you all have learned reliance



On the sacred teachings of science



So I hope through life

you never will decline



In spite of philistine defiance



To do what all good scientists do






Make it your motto day and night






It will lead you to the light



If this advice you'll only employ



The future can offer you infinite joy



And merriment






And you'll see



Good night.



Thank you.



What a marvelous song.

l don't know it, do you?






You seem very happy, dear.



l am, darling. l wish you were.



-Excuse me.

-The Springs will take care of that.



l was actually thinking of going to Arizona.



lt's so much further.



l don't mind.



l expect l'll be gone by the time

you come home.



Love for sale



Appetizing young love for sale



Love that's fresh and still unspoiled



Love that's only slightly soiled






for sale






will buy?



Who would like to sample my supply?



Who's prepared to pay the price



for a trip to paradise?






for sale



Let the poets pipe of love



in their childish way



I know every type of love



better far than they



If you want the thrill of love



I've been through the mill of love



Old love, new love



Every love but true love



Love for sale



Appetizing young love for sale



If you want to buy my wares



follow me and climb the stairs






for sale



Aren't there always copies

of those sorts of photographs anyway?



Cole wanted a set for himself.



These are not

blackmail pictures, Linda, they're--



Mrs. Porter.



They were taken for recreational purposes.



Cole has a heedless appetite for life.

l'm sure we agree he needs to be protected.



You became devoted

so very quickly, Mr. Reed.



He is so easy to love.



Beyond devotion, what are your ambitions?



l have thought of my own theatrical agency.

lt would be a company that would...



keep their clients' best interests

close to heart, always.



As you and l do Cole's.



Of course. And how many backers

do you require?



Only one, Mrs. Porter.



Just let me know how much.



l'll leave these with you.



You don't sweat, do you? Not a drop.



l don't believe in wasting my resources.



Goodbye, Linda.



It's the wrong song in the wrong style



Though your smile is lovely,

it's the wrong smile



It's not her smile, but such a lovely smile



But it's all right with me



Welcome home.



Aren't you pleased?



-About the roses?




They're glorious. Are they for me?



Who else?



One never knows.



What's wrong, Linda?



Your friend Bobby Reed

has been to see me...



with his nefarious portfolio.



Yes, he told me.



-He told you?




l paid him, too, you know.



No, l didn't know.



Yes, he's an ambitious fellow.



lt's all right.



l don't think it's all right, Cole.

l think it's disgusting.



He's exploiting both of us.



Well, yes.



l like to look at it as a kind of luxury tax.



A luxury tax?



What an extraordinary thing to say.



Do you have any idea how much

you've changed?



How much your behavior has changed?



You have put everything that you've

accomplished with your music at risk.



Darling, my work has never been better.



lt's flourishing. Even if we're not.



Your music comes from your talent,

not from your behavior.



lt's all the same thing. l can't put

my talent here and my behavior here...



and my eating, sleeping,

and drinking habits.



lt's all me.



l have never asked you to change.



Just be discreet.



Linda, l have never been discreet.



What is discretion but dishonesty

wrapped up in a little good breeding?



l don't think you want me to be discreet,

l think you want me to be different.



l am partially responsible for all of this...



because l have spoiled you,

l have indulged you.



But so has the entire goddamned world.



And for what?



Just a little music.



Linda hated being late for anything.

And the next day she was late for lunch.



I only had to hear the clock strike...



and look at her empty place at the table

to know she was gone.



Gone back to Paris.



It's quite simple, really.



Two people who wanted

too much from each other.



Porter residence.



Hold one moment.




-Not now.



lt's urgent, sir.






All the money, all the music

had deflected reality for so long...



I didn't know that everything we had

was so fragile.



Hold it loose, hold it tight.



Everything breaks.



l'm going to take them to Paris next week.



All of this is just....



Got to get back to a better place.



And it would be good to see Linda.



Morning, Cole.



Are we the only ones up?



Our hostess just retired.



l've been up since  :  .



Writing another hit, l'm sure.



l wish it was that easy.



Nothing comes easy anymore.



And when it does, it's lousy.



l write better in my own place

or the Murphys'.



l'm going to swear off these house parties

until l finish this score.



Remind me l said that, will you?



That melody sounds like

it could go somewhere.



Yeah, like out for a drink.



Have you heard from Linda?






No. l've written, l've wired,

l've called. Nothing.



l'm sorry, Cole, l'm really sorry.

Maybe with time....



lt'll take more than time.



l'll be back before breakfast.



Just seemed so much

to ask children to bear.



How long will you stay?



No idea.



Let's go inside, it's getting cold.



You see how far l'll go to get you back?



l think you've gone too far this time...



but l ought to be used to it by now.



I'm afraid his right leg should be amputated.



Perhaps the left as well.

There's really no alternative.



lf you amputate his legs,

you will cut out his pride.



You'll break his spirit,

he would never work again.



He'll have nothing without his music,

it's the essence of him.



He'd have nothing to live for.



He would have his life, his friends, you.



Nothing. He would just be

living out his death.



You're asking a lot of him.



We are accustomed to asking

a lot of one another.



So what did the sawbones say?



You get to keep the old things.

And he expects you to walk, and so do l.



But only if l can walk to you.



As far as Williamstown?






Massachusetts. l found a very pretty home.



It's on a hill, it has a work space.



Thinking of buying it.



A little bump.



-All right.




A grand piano.



That is grand.



That's not quite right.



So shall l leave you to it?



Guess you'd better.



God, l can't work the pedal.



Can't work the pedals, dear.



God damn it!



l can't work the pedals!



And what did it take...



to finally work the pedals?



A few years.



A pharmacopoeia of pills.



A reservoir of Scotch

and    more operations.



Nonstop fun.



But over time, you got five shows

up and running.



Up? Yes. Running? Barely.



At least, according to the critics.



''Not up to Mr. Porter's usual standards''...



was the refrain.



So when Hollywood finally called again?



l was on the train before the second ring.



He is the same. One of Yale's sons

of whom we are all proud.



Cole Porter.



There's an, oh, such a hungry yearning



Burning inside of me



And its torment won't be through



Till you let me spend my life making love



to you



Day and night



Night and day



lf l can survive this movie,

l can survive anything.



And you shall, darling, beautifully,

like everything else.



Thank you.



The movie will do very well,

and you'll be encouraged.



l wonder, it seems like every time

they operate, l lose songs as well as blood.



Remind me to call the studio and tell them

how much we ''absolutely loved the movie.''






Sorry. l'm all right.



Why on earth does Linda come back

to Cole anyway?



Because he's Cary Grant.



And she misses the music, as do l.



l must say, going down in history

as Cary Grant is not too bad.



Not for a boy from lndiana.



We should be grateful to them,

they found us a happy ending.



Yes, happy endings.



You don't get many of those,

do you, in Hollywood?



So this promises what, surgery number   ?






Good God. And how long will l have

to wear the cast this time?



A few months, we'll see how you mend.



What's that?



lt's Linda.



lt's gotten that bad, then?



Even if she'd agree,

l don't think surgery would help.



The lungs are too damaged.



Dr. Moorhead, are you saying that

Linda is dying?



God, what a swell party this is.



Four weeks, you rehearse and rehearse



Three weeks, and it couldn't be worse



One week, will it ever be right?



Then out of the hat, it's that big first night



The overture is about to start



You cross your fingers and hold your heart



It's curtain time and off we go



Another opening of another show



Miss Morrison, the line is ''away we go,''

not ''off we go,'' dear.



You couldn't manage to make me

hear you before...



and now that l can hear you,

you've got it wrong.



So shall we do it again?

Let's pick it up, dust it off, and get it right.



The tempo was good.



All right, everyone, let's go.



One week, will it ever be right?



Then out of the hat, it's that big first night



The overture is about to start



You cross your fingers and hold your heart



It's curtain time and away we go



Another opening



Just another opening of another show



Very good. Thank you, all.



Carry on. And chorus...



keep those consonants crisp.



The audience shouldn't think you're saying,

''An annoying opening for an ugly show.''



Let them come to that conclusion

on their own.



Please stop that knocking.



-Mr. Porter.




Your wife sent me to fetch you.



Fetch me for what?



-For tea.

-l don't like tea.



lt's just a few steps. She's waiting.



Fine, come in. Fetch me, for Christ's sake.



-Who are you, anyway?

-Bill, Bill Wrather.



Bill rather? Rather what?



Bill Wrather. Yes, you're Linda's...



-decorating wizard. Yes.

-lt's a great pleasure for me, Mr. Porter.



The pleasure is mine.



-Can l?




-Are you sure?

-No. Lots of practice.



l will take an arm, actually. Thank you.



Well, l'll be making my way.



Linda, a pleasure as always.






l'll see you soon.



Cole, that tune you were playing

was just beautiful.



l can't wait to hear that in the show.



-Goodbye now.

-Safe drive.



-lsn't he delightful?




We've become such fast friends.



l was hoping that you might as well.



He'd be a good companion for you.






l don't want you to be lonely.



l'm worried about you.



You don't need to worry about me

or your show, it's all taken care of.



l'm in God's hands, the show is in yours.



l do wish it were

the other way round, though.



Give me that cigarette.



Strange, dear



But true, dear



When I'm close to you, dear



The stars fill the sky



This really needs a proper singer.

l really can't do it justice.



Wait till opening night, hear it sung well.



l think it sounds fine right now.



And l won't be there, dear.



What are you talking about?

Why wouldn't you be?



You know the doctors, honey,

they're so boring.



l don't think l would add very much to it.



l'm sure it will be a great occasion.



lt won't be any occasion if you're not there.



Darling, Bill will be with you.



He'll help you.



l wrote this for you. What's the point

of doing it if you're not gonna be there?



Well, that's why l want you to play it for me.



All the way through.



All right.



l won't do it justice, but l'll do it.



Strange, dear, but true, dear



When I'm close to you, dear



The stars fill the sky



So in love with you am I



Even without you



My arms fold about you



You know, darling, why



So in love with you am I



In love with the night mysterious



The night when you first were there



In love with my joy delirious




-Are you all right?



A few people may have been carried

out of my shows...



but no one's ever been carried in.



So taunt me and hurt me



Deceive me, desert me



I'm yours till I die



So in love



So in love



So in love with you, my love



Think of Linda a little and applaud a lot.



In love with the night mysterious



The night when you first were there



In love with my joy delirious



When I knew that you could care



So taunt me



And hurt me



Deceive me



Desert me



I'm yours till I die



So in love



So in love



So in love with you



my love, am I



In love with the night mysterious



The night when you first were there



In love with my joy delirious



When I knew that you could care



So taunt me



And hurt me



Deceive me



Desert me



I'm yours till I die



So in love



So in love



So in love



my love



am I






Sorry, we have to move on.



Please, let me enjoy this.



lt took two years to get the backers

interested in this show.



No one wanted anything to do with it,

they thought l was finished.



We have to move on.



Very well.



We make quite a pair, don't we?



We're still les colporteurs of Paris.



Plying our humble trade.



l could hear the score.



Darling, it's giddy.



lt's all about Paris.



Brings back fond memories.



-Those were fine days.

-Yes, they were.



-And we were fine.

-We were fine.



Finding each other.



Taking care of each other.



l have a little something for you.



lt's a whole new flower.



A gentleman in Spain did it up for me.



lt's a hybrid of two varieties of rose...



thought to be completely incompatible.



Yet look at it, it's perfect.



The Linda Porter rose.






lt's just a pale reflection of our life together.



lt wasn't all beautiful.



You were always my life to be.



-l remember that song.

-lt was about you.



They were all about you.



Not all of them.



But some, l hope.



How l have loved you, Cole.



l don't know how much longer l can stay.



Would you mind terribly if l went

just a little early?



Every time



we say goodbye



I die a little



Every time



we say goodbye



I wonder why a little



Why the gods above me



who must be in the know



Think so little of me



they allow you to go



When you're near



there's such an air



of spring about it



I can hear



a lark somewhere



begin to sing about it



There's no love song finer



But how strange the change



from major to minor



Every time



we say












Hello, darling.






How is he?



Cole is already seated.



He doesn't want anyone

to feel awkward about the leg.



He would still have the damn thing

if Linda were here.



And Monty was by for a visit.

He asked to be remembered, of course.



Good old Monty.






So, Cole, when are we gonna

get another lyric from you?



l haven't the wit nor the will

to write any more.



Cole, you can write from everything

you remember.



You've had the most fascinating life.









lt's like the phantom pains l get

in my missing leg.



They're not real and they hurt too much.



l'm a toy balloon that's fated soon to pop.



Cole, please. Don't.



Oh, my God.



My dear friends, l'm boring you.



Let us repair to the living room

for some goodbyes...



and some coffee

and some traveling music, shall we?



Bill is all packed,

and you all have a long drive ahead of you.



The invitation was for the weekend.



Let's pretend it's Sunday.



We'll be right there.




-All right, dear.



l wish you'd let me stay with you, Cole.

l want to stay.



Bill, please, let me at least

try to do something noble, all right?



What l'm trying to do is best for both of us.



Then can't both of us decide, not just you?



My sweet boy, there's nothing for you here.



Come on now, get the wheelchair.



It's the wrong time



and the wrong place



Though your face is charming



it's the wrong face



It's not her face



That was evil. l'm sorry.



l think you're trying very hard to misbehave.



-And you used to be a better actor.

-l used to be better at a lot of things.



At words poetic, I'm so pathetic



That I always have found it best

Instead of getting them off my chest



To let them rest, unexpressed



You're the top



You're the Coliseum



You're the top



Go on, get out of here.



Get outta town



Cole, by all means--



Before it's too late, my love



Take it easy, old friend.



Get outta town



Be good to me please



Why wish me harm?



Take care of him.



Why not retire to a farm



and be contented to charm



the birds off the trees?



We love you.



It's done



The little dream, it's done



So bid me a fond farewell

we both had our fun






Was it Romeo or Juliet who said



when about to die



''Love is not all peaches and cream''



Little dream










Lonely, miserable, melancholy



What a perfect musical finale.



Don't worry.



Never open on a ballad,

never end on one either.



-Do you hear that playing?

-Yes, we hear that playing



-Do you know who's playing?

-No, who is that playing?



Well it's Gabriel, Gabriel playing

Gabriel, Gabriel saying



''Will you be ready to go

when I blow my horn?''



Oh, blow, Gabriel blow



Go on and blow, Gabriel, blow



I've been a sinner, I've been a scamp



But now I'm willing to trim my lamp

So blow, Gabriel, blow



Oh, I was low, Gabriel, low



Mighty low, Gabriel, low



But now since I have seen the light

I'm good by day and I'm good by night



So blow, Gabriel, blow



Go on and blow, Gabriel, blow



I want to join your happy band



And play all day in the Promised Land

So blow, Gabriel, blow



Blow, Gabriel, blow



Blow, Gabriel, blow



Blow, Gabriel, blow



Blow Gabriel, blow, blow, blow



I want to join your happy band

And play all day in the Promised Land



So blow, Gabriel, blow



Blow, Gabriel, blow



Blow, Gabriel, blow



In the still of the night



As I gaze from my window



at the moon in its flight



My thoughts all stray to you



In the still of the night



While the world is in slumber



Oh, the times without number



Darling, when I say to you



''Do you love me



''as I love you?



''Are you my life to be



''my dream come true?''



Or will this dream of mine



fade out of sight



Like the moon



growing dim on the rim



of the hill, in the chill



still of the night?



Like the moon



growing dim on the rim



of the hill, in the chill



still of the night?

Special help by SergeiK