Voila! Finally, the Deep Rising
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Treat Williams and
Famke Janssen movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Deep Rising. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
[Deep Sea Reverberations,
Gurgles]
[Muffled Rhythmic Pounding]
[Pounding Fades Away]
[Pounding Resumes]
[Fades]
[Pounding Resumes]
[Water Gurgling]
[Water Rushing]
[Growling Sound]
[Roaring Sound]
[Roaring, Squealing]
[Indicators Beep]
- How we doin' out there, Leila?
- Fuck you!
How you doing, my ass!
I'm totally soaked out here.
Aw, come on now, I pay you
two bucks a day, don't I?
Get off your lazy ass
and come and help me!
Cut me some slack, will ya?
I'm workin' hard too, you know.
[Game Beeps]
[Beeps, Dings, Static]
Now what?
- Son of a bitch. Pantucci!
- Ow! Shit, man!
[On Headset] I'm flyin' blind up here,
Brainiac. I thought you fixed the radar.
- It's a little temperamental.
You have to be gentle.
- [On Headset] Gentle, my ass.
The whole system
just crapped out on me.
- Killed off by your negative vibes.
- No doubt.
- [Zaps]
- Are you hittin' that thing again?
No.
[Yelling In Korean]
You know, where is it written
that I have to go out there and work?
I mean, you know, Finnegan, why don't
you get your ass out there sometime?
I love you too, Leila.
- Everything all right?
- Just peachy.
[Man]
We are on schedule, are we not?
- [Finnegan] You didn't
hire me for my social graces.
- That's right.
We hired you for your reputation.
You better live up to it.
- Where are we?
- Right there. Middle of nowhere.
- And our final destination?
- Right...
there.
- Middle of nowhere squared.
- Finny.
Yeah, I heard of you.
But I thought you'd be older.
Like a fine wine, I'm aging gracefully.
Thank you.
Like a fine wine, my ass.
You look more like
a keg of beer to me.
[Laughs]
Any questions,
Mr. Finnegan?
Nope. I get paid to shut up
and do my job.
So I shut up and do my job.
You're not the least bit curious
as to where we're going?
Like the sign says,
"If the cash is there, we do not care."
Very good.
- [Door Closes]
- Where the hell are we goin'?
§§ [Loud Dance Band]
[Male Soloist] § Two hands
reach for twelve at midnight §
§ Clouds of smoke
fill up the room §
§ Everyone drops
what they're doin' §
§ When Lady Luck
walks into the room §
§ I can't rub two dimes
together §
- § I'm so broke that it's a shame §
- [Gamblers Chattering]
§ Lady Luck don't even know
my name §
§ Bartender, pour a double §
§ The band just played
our favorite tune §
§ And the party's
just beginning §
§ When Lady Luck
walks into the room §§
[Yelling]
- [Pinging]
- Ladies and gentlemen!
Ladies and gentlemen.
Mesdames et messieurs.
If I could have your attention
for just one moment, please.
On behalf of myself,
Captain Atherton and his crew,
welcome to the maiden voyage
of the Argonautica!
[Cheering]
Each and every one of
the hundreds of men and women...
in service upon this vessel...
has but one objective:
to make your dreams
come true.
As for myself, my entire life...
I have had but one dream:
to create the greatest,
most luxurious,
most expensive pleasure ship
ever built.
And tonight,
seeing all of you here...
so beautiful, so elegant,
so rich...
[Everyone Laughs]
I realize that my dream
has come true,
and I thank all of you from the bottom
of my heart for making it so.
To the Argonautica!
Good times forever!
[All Shouting]
Forever!
§§ [Percussion Resumes]
[Passengers Laughing,
Chattering]
[Woman]
We're having a wonderful time.
This ship is so smooth
we can't believe it!
[Man] She's state-of-the-art.
Not another ship like her, ma'am.
She can hit a -foot swell and not
even put a ripple across your martini.
It's been very nice meeting you people.
I hope you enjoy the rest of the cruise.
- Thank you so much, Captain.
- [Both] Oh!
- Excuse me.
- Non, non, excusez-moi, mon capitaine.
Really, very sorry.
Au revoir.
[Thunder]
[Scoffs]
Nice picture.
[Distant Wailing]
[Australian Accent]
I hate this bloody water stuff.
- That reminds me, I'm hungry.
- You're always hungry.
Yeah. So?
I'm a growing boy, you know.
- You're still growing?
- You got a problem with that?
- Be happy I don't eat you.
- So what you realizing, Mamooli?
Uh, well, that my goal in life
before I die...
is to make love to a woman
from every country on earth.
Like, countries acknowledged by the
U.N.? Or like, made-up countries too?
- What the hell does that mean?
- Like T. Ray's country.
Shut your face, Billy.
Australia's a country.
- Australia's an island.
- Well, technically, it's a continent.
Ah, shit, man. Island, country,
continent. If there's women there,
well, I'm interested.
You come to my country,
I shoot your ass.
Does he ever talk about
anything else but women?
Nah, not that I recall. The only way
to shut him up is to shoot him.
- Yeah, that's right.
- Yeah?
- [Gun Cocking]
You ever thought about it?
- [Man] Every day.
- [Knife Unsheathing] Ooh, ooh, ooh.
- [Man] Come on, boys.
- Sit down, right?
- Ooh, ooh. [Chuckling]
Go back to Australia.
[Man] All right, what's this, now?
Ooh, a book without pictures.
Well done, mate.
[Moans]
- [Belches]
- You know what I want to eat?
I'll take a couple of
nice, greasy pig's feet,
some pickled monkey brains
and one of them big elephant eyeballs.
Raw, so they pop when you bite them.
[lmitating Popping, Slurping]
- [Men Laugh]
- [Blowing Smoke]
- Yummy. [Chuckles]
- [Vomiting]
- [Men Laughing]
- You like that?
- Oh, man, that's disgusting.
- T. Ray, you stinking up the place.
- [T. Ray] Oh, shut up.
- [Men Laughing]
Hey, knock it off.
You're not getting paid to party.
Ah!
[Finnegan On Headset]
Pantucci! Pantucci!
You're not where I think
you are, are ya?
Hola.
Listen, this radar's still funky. I can
feel it, and it's a very bad feeling.
You know how many uncharted
islands are out here?
I don't know. Two?
Very funny. Wait till I crash this rig
into some goddamn, no-name island.
What is this, a talk show?
I need some quiet time.
Over and out.
Whoa. Nasty.
- [Hydraulic Lift Hissing]
- Whoa.
Hit you.
Oh, shit.
[Gasps]
"Oh, shit."
- I'm feelin' a real lack of love here.
- Get in there!
- [Billy] Ohh.
- Well, what do we have here, fellas?
[Man] I found him
snoopin' around the cargo.
If there's anything I can do to make
your trip more comfortable, come to me.
- G'day, mate.
- [Men Shouting,
Pantucci Grunting And Groaning]
[Fighting Sounds
On Headset]
Well, don't just sit there!
Go help him!
- Are you kiddin' me?
Those guys are dangerous.
- No shit!
- You've got to do something.
- I find you live longer if you don't.
Finnegan!
[Punches Landing,
Men Laughing]
[Spears Piercing Metal]
[Pantucci Moaning, Panting]
We got a contract.
Twenty hours out and back.
You beat my engine man to death,
it's gonna take a hell of a lot longer.
Which is okay by me,
since overtime will run you double rate.
He was nosin' around
in my cargo.
Okay, so he's nosey.
The contract was
"no questions asked."
Yo, fellas. I vote...
we kick this little
piece of shit overboard.
- [Grunts]
- Well, I vote we kill him.
I vote we kill him,
then we throw him overboard.
Well, we don't vote here.
See, it's not a democracy.
- [Yelps]
- [Men Chuckling, Jeering]
Okay. I'll say it one more time
for the hearing impaired.
- [Billy Grunts]
- [Guns Cocking]
[Knife Unsheathing]
This could be messy.
Vivo.
- [Moaning]
- Everybody okay?
Anybody gonna shoot anybody?
You know, you boys
ought to get out more often.
That's a year off my life.
[Thunder, Lightning Crashing]
Please enter
your security key card.
Good evening,
Captain Atherton.
- Good evening to you.
- The vault is now open.
Oh, choices, choices.
Ooh, you're a big, bad boy,
aren't ya?
Hmm. You're more my size.
Et voila, le necklace.
[Clearing Throat]
Good evening, mademoiselle.
- Hello.
- Red-handed. My God, what a
cheeky little trollop you are.
Good evening, gentlemen.
I was just on my way out. [Chuckles]
- Or maybe not.
- A good decision.
There's no place to run. The nearest
land is... What, miles, Captain?
- Nearer sir.
- According to this fax we received...
- Oh, that's not a very flattering
photograph, is it?
- Let me see.
You're wanted for burglary,
robbery, forgery.
Oh!
And attempted murder.
My ex-boyfriend.
What?
Six arrests, five convictions,
and wanted in four countries.
How does a beautiful woman
as young as yourself...
amass such an incredible record?
- Trust me, it wasn't easy.
- I think it's because you're
not very good at what you do.
- Oh!
- Steady on, Canton. No need for that.
Uh-uh!
I believe that's my card.
- Thank you.
- Do we have a brig on this ship?
Yes, we do, sir.
But it's not finished yet.
- Can't put a lady in the brig!
- True.
But you, mademoiselle,
are no lady.
Hey, watch it!
[Sighs]
Hmm. And you, Mr. Canton,
are no gentleman.
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Ow. Ow!
They must be feet long, man.
They're not nukes or nothin', but the
bang sure would make your butt pucker.
You ever pull that shit again,
I'll kill you myself.
Hold still,
you big dummy.
I'm sorry. It stings!
Hey, do you think we could pull over?
You got any novocaine?
Oh, yes, my little love bug,
but just a little.
- I think I need a higher dosage.
- You always need a higher dosage.
- How many of those things are there?
- Huh?
I don't know. Eight or nine of 'em.
Enough to sink a damn aircraft carrier.
This is just great.
Now I got bombs in my basement.
Maybe it's just me, but if you'd ask a
question or two before accepting a job...
[Pantucci] If the cash is there,
we do not care.
What kind of life philosophy
is that, man?
Torpedoes. What the hell
are they gonna do with torpedoes?
[Soft Beeps]
[Beep]
Yes!
Gentlemen.
Say hello to the Chinese...
M -L triple-pulse
assault rifle.
Rotating barrel,
thousand-round capacity.
- Auto cooling, watertight.
- Yeah!
Cheers, babe.
Mmm.
Mmm.
[Electronic Whirring,
Beeping]
[Beeping Continues]
- [Crew Members Chattering]
- What?
[Captain]
What's happening here, gentlemen?
Communications,
what's your status?
All thermal and laser imaging generating
a negative white screen response, sir.
- That's impossible.
- Captain, radar not responding either.
Right. Switch to
auxiliary power, Mr. Lewis.
Let's do a circuit check.
No response, sir.
We have a complete mainframe meltdown.
- What about the communications gear?
- Gone. All completely gone!
- Maybe it's the storm, sir.
- No, no. That's nonsense.
- This ship is impervious to weather.
- Can we still send?
Our signal goes out static, sir.
I've never seen anything like it.
This equipment is state-of- The-art!
Top of the line!
Mr. Canton, please!
We are in a very dangerous
situation here. We are running...
without radar or any form of imaging;
we are sailing blind.
- No way to communicate our situation.
- I have something here, sir.
- What is it, Colin?
- I don't know, sir,
but whatever it is,
it's, uh, big.
Probably just
a pod of whales.
Moving at knots, sir?
I don't think so.
- Where's it coming from?
- Directly beneath us, sir.
meters directly beneath us
and rising very quickly.
meters.
.
. .
. meters.
Ninety, eighty.
- Seventy, sixty.
- What are they?
Fifty meters.
[Crashing]
[Passengers Screaming]
- [Wailing Sound]
- Oh, my God.
[Passengers Screaming]
- [Man] Open up!
- [Sobbing]
[Metal Screeching,
Ship Rumbling]
- [Metal Clangs]
- [Low Growling]
[Squishing Sound]
- [Roaring, Growling]
- [Screaming]
[Metallic Thudding Nearby]
Hey! Who said you could
put holes in my boat?
I didn't say you could put holes in
my boat! That's gonna cost you extra!
- What the hell is that?
- I don't know.
[Man]
Let's go!
Looks like some kind of...
It's a torpedo launcher.
- I... I don't like this.
- Yeah, I know. Neither do I.
- How much longer?
- Another minutes,
we'll be right on top of,
uh,
- Whatever's out there.
- [Radar Pinging]
- [Static]
- What the hell was that?
Hang on!
[Screams]
- [Alarm Beeping]
- Joey! Joey, talk to me! Damage?
Yeah. We got a hole
in the starboard bow.
- Taking water?
- A little, but it's
just above the water line.
I got no power coming from Jezebel.
She's out cold.
[Leila] Something's wrong with
Hercules. He's not getting any petrol.
That's it.
I'm shuttin' her down.
Shit!
What the hell did we hit?
- We got a big-ass hole here!
- Get it out! Get it out!
Get it off the cases!
What the hell was that?
Whatever it was,
it nearly took my bloody head off!
- [Laughing]
- [Mamooli] What are you laughing at?
'Cause we're alive,
you idiot.
A direct hit on any of these warheads
and pfft! We'd be history, mate.
We got a hole in the starboard
bow the size of Nebraska!
What's the status down here?
- Old Jezebel got it
right through the brain pan.
- What did we hit?
[Finnegan]
You got me.
- I think we killed a speedboat.
- A speedboat!
We're hell and gone
from the nearest land.
There's no way a speedboat
gets out this far. No way.
Ow! Shit, man! Finnegan, nothing
works! Hercules is shot to shit.
His gears are all mangled.
His cylinder head seized up, I think.
We're leakin' fuel fast.
I give us minutes, half hour, tops,
and then we're dead in the water.
Finnegan, you do something.
We have a job to finish,
a schedule to maintain.
- Man, would you listen to this crap?
- Shut up, grease monkey!
- You're expendable. Know what I mean?
- Yeah, I know. Story of my life.
Hey, get your asses up here!
- There's something out there.
- What? Well, let me see.
- W-Wait! [Muttering]
- Let me see it. Let me see it!
Whoa. It's a...
It's a cruise ship.
[Finnegan] Do you think
she could spare some fuel?
And a few minutes
in her machine shop.
[Together]
Absolutely.
- [Finnegan] What the hell...
- [Guns Cocking]
We'll take over from here.
You know, Hanover,
a ship like that,
they got half a dozen different ways
to call for help.
Not anymore.
Pantucci,
can you fix this thing?
If I can get into
the Love Boat's machine shop,
yeah, maybe I can fix
this hunk of junk.
She ain't gonna run pretty,
but she'll run.
[Softly] They've armed all
the bombs, man. They're alive.
All right.
- Finnegan and the grease monkey
will come with us.
- Wait a minute.
- The three of us stick together.
- From now on, you'll be
sticking with me.
- Billy!
- Yeah, Chief.
Finish the torpedo launcher
and watch the lady.
- Aye, Chief.
- I'll watch her. I haven't done Korea.
Hey, Mr. Comedy,
leave my girlfriend out of this.
You trying to fuck with me?
Hey, hey, hey!
Behave yourself. [Whistles]
- She'd eat you alive anyway, eh?
- [Man] Hey, cool out.
Knock this shit off.
This is worse
than high school.
Cruise ship's not movin'.
Why ain't it movin'?
I don't know.
All right, gentlemen.
- You know the drill.
- Okay, let's move out!
[Alarm Beeping]
Bingo.
[Finnegan] Relax, Hanover.
This is a cruise ship.
- You're not gonna need your guns.
- What if they attack us, man?
With what?
Margaritas and tanning oil?
This place is a mess.
You want me
to call housekeeping?
Use any and all force necessary.
The intimidation factor must be high.
There's a lot of passengers
on this ship.
Yep, and half of 'em
are packin' lipstick.
- Careful you don't get glossed.
- Cheer.
That was kind of fun.
Well, it was.
Everybody's in the atrium.
We'll pin 'em down there, then split up
and finish the job. Sound off!
- We got the vault. Level six!
- Casino! Level three.
- Bridge!
- Bow, top level.
- Well, here come the party crashers.
- I don't hear any party.
[All Yelling]
Everybody down! Nobody move!
Shit.
Man, looks like somebody had themselves
one hell of a shindig.
We got blood here.
We got blood here too,
mate.
We got blood everywhere.
[Bell Dings, Machinery Whirs]
[Level Indicator Beeping]
I got a really bad feelin'
about this.
[Elevator Dings]
[Recorded Elevator Operator] Ground,
atrium level. Please watch your step.
The doors are closing.
Where the hell is everybody?
Well, the lifeboats,
they're all still here.
Where the hell is everybody?
Let's go!
[Thunder Crashes]
Shit.
Hanover, nobody home.
This place looks post evac, man.
Total spooky town.
Looks like somebody
beat you to the punch.
- Where the hell is everyone?
- Who cares? Let's hit the vault and go.
[Fizzing]
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
Shh.
- [Chuckles]
- Fuck me, man.
- [Both Yell]
- [Gunfire Barrage Resumes]
[Hanover]
All right, knock it off!
I don't know what the hell's going on
around here, but we've got a job to do.
- Machine shop.
- Sublevel nine.
- T. Ray, Mamooli,
take Finnegan and the grease monkey.
- Take the freight elevators.
They're the only ones that go
all the way to the bottom.
The rest of you come with me
to the bridge.
[All Yelling]
Let's move! Move! Come on!
[Moans]
[Pipe Squeaks, Rumbles]
[Groaning Sound]
What the hell was that?
[Sighs]
[Whispers]
Yes. Not bad.
Clear.
[Soft Beeps, Static]
The man did a good job
of shutting everything down.
Yeah. But he wasn't
supposed to stop the ship.
- Or kill everybody on it.
- I don't see any bodies.
It's like... It's like
everyone just... vanished.
[Sparks Crackling]
[Metallic Rumble]
Hey, is that you?
[Water Moving, Gurgling]
Turn up the pump, you idiot!
We're sinking.
Relax, would ya!
You're not the boss of me.
I'm the one supposed to be
in charge around here.
[Water Lapping, Gurgling]
[Soft Snorting Sound]
[Leila Screams]
[Gasping, Shrieking]
- [Hanover On Headset]
Billy, Billy, are you there?
- What?
We've looked all around.
There aren't any passengers.
What do you mean no passengers?
How could there be no passengers?
- Have you seen anybody up there?
- Nah, I ain't seen anybody.
Only an idiot
would be out in this rain.
[Screaming]
The hulls on these ships
are supposed to be impregnable.
[Mamooli]
So what are you sayin'?
If the hull's impregnable,
why are my feet wet?
It's a ghost ship.
- I vote we leave. Who votes we leave?
- Shut up.
Mate, that's it. They thought they
were sinking, so they abandoned ship.
Stupid bastards.
Oh, my God. He's right.
You're right. Yeah.
They all jumped overboard. You know, I
can just see the last asshole in sayin',
"Shit. We forgot the lifeboats. Guess
we just gonna have to swim for it."
- [Both Chuckling]
- [Weapon Cocking]
You got a real big mouth
on you, you know that?
Yeah, I know that.
I don't like you.
You don't even know me.
Hey, check it out.
It's my future ex-wives.
[T. Ray] Mamooli, you bloody pervert,
get your mind out of the gutter.
- Come on, hurry it up.
- Whoa, man! What stinks?
Did I say it was you?
[Mamooli]
Man, this water's freezing!
I'm gonna catch me a cold.
- [Growling Sound Nearby]
- Ooh-ee, whoo. Mm-mmm.
Which one of you ladies
wants to warm me up?
Hey, stay close.
- I didn't know you cared.
- I care about your gun.
Mamooli, keep an eye on 'em.
Mmm.
What you got there?
- Peanut.
- Peanut?
- Peanut.
- Okay. Peanut.
- [Plop]
- Shit!
[Soft Growl]
- [Growl]
- [Gasps]
[Growl]
- Hey!
- [Soft Growl]
Who's in there?
[Growls Continue]
You come out now,
or I'm gonna kick your ass.
[Yells]
[Mamooli On Headset]
T. Ray, what the hell are you doin'?
[Growling]
[Splashing]
[Growl]
[Water Gurgling]
What the hell is that?
[T. Ray Screaming]
- [Yelps]
- [Soft Growl]
T. Ray?
T. Ray?
What did you do?
- Huh?
- Hey! What did you do?
- Don't shoot!
- Well, what happened to T. Ray?
What did you do to him?
We didn't do anything!
- Touch that and you're dead.
- Relax! It wasn't us!
[Loud Growling, Wailing]
What the hell happened here?
[Beeps]
- Please enter your security key card.
- Hey!
- Well, what do you know? Sign of life.
- With curves.
Excuse me, but this area's
for authorized personnel only.
As the assistant to the purser,
I'm afraid I'll have to report you.
- Where are the other passengers?
- I don't know. Sleeping?
You tell me what happened here,
or I pull the trigger.
- Who are you?
- A passenger. Just a passenger.
Name's Trillian.
And you are?
Thank you.
Makes my job a lot easier.
- Glad to be of assistance.
- So again, tell me what happened here.
- Where is everybody?
- I thought you liked to blow things up.
- [Recording]
Good evening. The vault is now open.
- I do.
Yes. Money,
money, money, money.
- [Trillian Screaming]
- [Hanover] Vivo!
Whoa-oa-oa!
Stop!
- Jesus Christ!
- Son of a bitch!
- No, no, no, no!
- Come on!
Get outta here!
Come on, get outta here!
I'm sorry! I thought it was
one of them. I didn't know!
You just killed
one of my best men!
I didn't mean to. I-I-I thought
it was one of them! I didn't know.
- Those are innocent people in there!
- [Hanover] Shut up!
- Shut up!
- [Captain] Who are you people?
- One of who?
What are you talkin' about?
- One of those things!
- Haven't you seen them?
- [Mamooli On Headset]
What's that?
Speak up, Mamooli!
- [Hanover On Headset]
You're cutting out. Repeat that!
- Yeah, yeah.
Shut up, man. Listen!
I think T. Ray's dead.
Forget about them. We gotta get out of
here! There's somethin' down here!
- Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!
- [Gun Cocking]
There's nothin' down here
but you and me. Hmm?
[Growling, Splashing]
[Yelling]
Go on! Get the parts now!
Get the parts! Come on!
[Growling]
- What the...
- [Gunfire]
Mamooli! T. Ray!
They're everywhere. You hear me?
We've got to get off this ship.
All right.
Let's check it out.
- What about the vault?
- It'll be here. Grab Vivo's gun. Go!
What the hell was that,
Finnegan?
I don't know!
I didn't get a good look!
You got all the parts?
If I don't,
I ain't goin' back to get 'em.
[Growling, Wailing]
[Growling Increases]
Go!
[Screaming]
[Slams]
[Recorded Operator]
The sixth level. Please watch your step.
The door is closing.
[Elevator Whirring]
Fifth level.
Fourth level.
Oh, come on, come on,
come on. Up! Up!
Third level.
Second level.
- [Moans]
- [Alarm Rings]
Emergency stop.
- Second level.
- [Growling, Metal Crashing]
[Crash]
- [Elevator Dings]
- First level.
[Growling, Wailing]
- [Growling Continues]
- [Recorded Operator Continues]
- This corridor! Hey, hey, hey!
- What are you doing?
- I'm not staying in here!
- Trust me, lady,
it ain't any better out there!
- I don't care! I'm outta here!
- Will you relax!
- [Operator] The door is closing.
- Who the hell are you?
- Who the hell are you?
- I think she broke my nose.
Give me a chance,
I'll break the rest of your face.
- Not that anyone would notice.
- What is this about?
- [Growling]
- What is it?
- [Operator] First level.
- That's what I've been trying
to tell you.
- Second level.
- There's somethin' up there.
- Third level. Fourth level.
- [Squishing, Growling]
Please stand clear
of the door.
- [Elevator Dings]
- Drop it! [Weapons Cocking]
- Now!
- Drop it! Drop it!
Do it.
Where's Mamooli?
T. Ray?
- They didn't make it.
- What the hell happened?
You killed them?
You killed them.
- I didn't kill anybody.
There's somethin' on this ship.
- [Hanover] Bullshit!
No! It's not bullshit, Mr. Hanover.
There are things on this ship!
- You two know each other?
- [Captain] Come on.
- Please stand clear of the door.
- T. Ray was my... You killed him.
You killed him, didn't you!
Didn't you!
[Grunt]
- I heard you the first time.
- Stand down, you!
And you, tell me what happened.
The ship's infested.
The bloody things are everywhere.
- Infested with what?
- I don't know! How do I know?
- Never seen anything like it before.
- Your turn.
- [Exhales]
- [Growling, Crashing]
[Operator]
Ninth level, eighth level, seventh...
- [Growling, Roaring]
- [Operator Continues]
- [Roaring Ends Abruptly]
- Second level.
Third level, fourth level,
fifth level.
Sixth level.
- [Growling Resumes]
- [Canton Yells]
- [Roaring Stops]
- [Trillian Gasping]
- [Electronic Whirring]
- §§ [Pop Music On P.A.]
What the hell is that?
"The Girl From lpanema."
Hey, guys, you don't mind if we
get off this thing now, do you?
That's a good idea.
[Growling]
Hang on!
[Trillian Screaming]
[Screaming]
[Elevator Bell Dings]
[Operator]
This elevator is out of service.
[Moans, Screams]
[All Shrieking, Yelling]
- What are these things?
- What the bloody hell is going on?
Get the gun, you moron!
You back off, Finnegan.
[Metal Creaking]
Holy shit.
Look at that.
Now what?
[Rumbling, Creaking]
Hey!
[Rumbling Stops]
[Body Parts Squishing]
[Muttering]
- [Crunch]
- Shit!
- [Yelling]
- [Roaring]
Let's move!
[Loud Wail Ends Abruptly]
Chick with the muscles.
[Water Lapping]
Come on.
There's nowhere to hide.
Chick with the muscles.
[Thunder, Lightning Crashing]
[Canton] It was almost as if the ship
had struck a reef or something.
It came to a sudden,
violent stop.
And then suddenly they were everywhere.
Th-The passengers all panicked.
[Captain] It all happened so fast,
there was no time to do anything.
- Couldn't even use the lifeboats.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
Trouble is, nobody knows we're
in trouble. Couldn't send an S.O.S.
Well, then,
mon capitaine,
I think the first order of business
should be a call for help, don't you?
- Yeah, man, call in the Marines.
- Yeah, let's do it now.
[Captain]
Look, you don't seem to understand.
- Something has jammed the systems.
- Not something.
Someone.
Who are you?
My name is Simon Canton.
I own this ship.
Hanover had a connection
on this ship,
somebody to knock out
all the communications.
- [Gun Cocking]
- [Finnegan] You two know each other.
- It was you.
- What?
Very quick, Mr. Finnegan.
- Is this true, Canton?
- [Finnegan] How do we fix it?
[Gun Cocking]
I said,
how do we fix it?
Answer him.
- Answer him, you son of a bitch!
- [Muttering]
All the systems were
melted at their core.
There's not gonna be
any calls for help.
[Gasping]
- For God's sake, man, why?
- Damn it!
This is supposed to be
your life's work, I thought.
This ship's gotta be worth,
what, a couple hundred million?
Four hundred eighty-seven
point six million dollars.
The insurance.
That's what
the torpedoes are for.
You loot the ship, and then
you sink it for the insurance.
I spent my whole life,
my entire fortune, building this ship.
I'll be damned if I'm gonna lose it
to a bunch of pencil-necked bankers.
[Captain] Lose it, you greedy bastard?
What are you talking about?
- The ship was operating
at full capacity!
- I know, Captain.
But the problem is that the cost
of keeping it operating...
is a hell of a lot more than
we're ever gonna take in.
You mean, we're all gonna die
because you screwed up on the math?
[Canton]
I simply misjudged the market!
What about the passengers?
Were they insured?
I may be a crook,
but I'm not a savage.
The passengers, the crew and I would've
been safely evacuated on the lifeboats.
Don't you get self-righteous with me,
Mr. Finnegan. I know all about you.
- You despicable, lousy bastard!
- [Grunting]
- You sold us out
to the bloody insurance!
- All right, knock it off!
Do you realize how many innocent
people you've killed on this ship?
- Hey, hey, break this up!
- Innocent passengers!
- [Hanover] That's enough!
- [Canton] Nobody was gonna get hurt!
- What?
- I like it.
- Thanks.
- [Arguing Continues]
[Metallic Rumbling]
[Dripping Sounds]
[Soft Growling]
[Pipes Clanging,
Wailing Sound]
- [Screaming]
- [Roaring]
[Screaming]
[Grunting]
[Roaring]
- Oh, Jesus Christ!
- [Screaming]
[Screaming Continues]
- Good God, it's Billy!
- [Moaning]
[Moaning]
[Moaning Continues]
- [Body Thuds]
- Jesus, no! No!
[Roaring]
[Wailing]
[Screaming]
- Over here now!
- Right here! Right here!
- No! It's there!
- These things are everywhere!
- [Wailing]
- How do you turn this damn thing on?
[Yelling]
- [Distant Gunfire]
- [Panting]
- [Panting] Oh!
- [Grunts]
Jeez Louise, lady, give a guy
a heart attack, why don't you?
- [Distant Wailing]
- [Trillian Gasps]
[Hanover]
Over this way! Go! Go!
What are these things?
Real unfriendly.
So, um, you got a boat
waiting outside, is that right?
- Yeah.
- Okay. Let's make a deal here.
You get me to your boat,
and, uh...
And I can have
whatever I want.
Yeah, whatever you want.
Can you get me
a cold beer?
Funny.
- [Roaring]
- [Screaming]
[Growling]
- [Steam Hissing]
- [Growling]
[Snarling]
[Low Growling]
[Scraping Sound]
- [Roaring]
- [Gasps]
- [Roaring]
- [Grunting]
- [Grunts]
- [Roaring]
- [Gunshot]
- [Roaring]
[Screams, Pants]
Time to go!
[Distant Wailing]
- I owe you one.
- Damn right, you do.
[Both Panting]
Get me off this boat alive
and we'll call it even. Deal?
Deal.
Please tell me
you're a man of your word.
Absolutely.
[Panting]
[Gasping]
[Grunting, Screaming]
- [Growling]
- Canton, get me... Aah!
[Screaming]
Hang on!
Shit!
Give me your hand!
Give me your hand! Come on! Pull!
- Come on! Pull!
- [Captain Screaming]
[Growling]
Whoa!
Oh, no!
[Screaming]
Eat this, you wankers!
[Wailing Recedes]
What the hell
are these goddamn things?
I'm beginning to fear
that our friends here...
may be some kind of
strange offshoot...
of the Archaea
Ottoia family.
Oh, the Ottoia family.
And to think I was startin' to worry.
At feet,
the Ottoia are about
as long as a pencil...
with bodies about
the size of a golf ball.
But those at feet...
have been found to eat
full-grown sharks.
At thirty
or forty thousand feet...
Well, you do the math.
This, uh...
This is not good.
Are we talkin' some kind of
mutated sea monsters here?
Who gives a shit what they are? Just
tell us how to kill these motherfuckers.
The Ottoia
are very crafty.
[Canton]
They hide in burrows...
and catch their victims
with spiny tentacles,
and then they-they crush them
between massive jaws.
Yeah, and then they
eat you, right?
No, they drink you.
They drink you alive,
sucking all the fluids out of a body
before excreting the skeletal remains.
All right, that's it.
Lesson's over.
- Here's the plan.
- Hey!
I'm still givin' the orders
around here, mister!
You stay here and give
all the orders you want.
I'm gettin' back to my boat, cuttin' it
loose and gettin' the hell outta here.
Yeah, man.
I second that motion.
- Mind if I tag along?
- Feel free.
[Steam Hissing]
[Finnegan]
Which way now?
At the end of this passageway,
there should be an underpass
on the port side...
- That'll take us to the upper levels.
- The starboard.
- Port.
- I've got the blueprints
to the entire ship right here.
- Who do you think gave
you those blueprints?
- [Electrical Shorting Sound]
I ask you, man,
could it get any worse?
[Power Surging Sound]
[Finnegan]
Thanks, Joey.
[Humming "Girl From lpanema"]
I can't get that song
out of my head.
[Continues Humming]
[Stops Humming]
They must have ripped a hole through
the hull. That's how they got in.
The power of these things,
it's-it's awesome.
- I'm glad you're so impressed.
- Shit!
- There's no way out through this door.
- It's buckled right to the frame.
- We can't go back the way we came.
- Okay, Canton, it's your ship.
Any ideas?
There are more hatchways and stairwells
on the other side of this wall.
The only way outta here
is down those steps.
[Water Lapping]
[Beeps]
- He's right.
- How far?
- [Beeps]
- [Sighs] It's meters.
- Somebody's gonna have to go and check.
- I volunteer to wait here.
- Me too.
- No way.
I'll go.
But you're comin' with me.
- [Chuckles] Good luck.
- And what are we laughing at? Hmm?
If we make it through,
I'll fire two rounds.
- That means it's safe to come through.
- Okay.
Hey! It's mine.
Let's give the lady
a real gun, shall we?
You know how
to use that?
Yeah. If something comes at me, I'll
just pull the trigger till it goes away.
Careful with that.
It's got a hell of a kick.
I can handle it.
Well, if we're goin'
for a swim,
I think it's your turn
to carry the parts.
This is turnin' out to be
one hell of a day.
[Finnegan Inhaling, Exhaling]
[Groaning]
[Gasping, Choking]
Come on. Up.
- What the hell is takin' 'em?
- You know, uh,
I don't mean
to sound like a pussy,
but this shit is startin'
to freak me out, man!
[Gasping]
Can you just get asthma?
Or do you have to be
born with it?
- [Gasps]
- [Thundering Explosion]
- Uh-oh.
- [Wailing]
- Oh, my God!
- [Roaring]
[Wailing, Pounding]
Jump!
- Fuck!
- [Wailing]
- [Panting]
- [Pounding]
[Wailing]
Come on, you son of a bitch!
Come on! Come on!
[Wailing Recedes]
[Gun Rattling,
Pantucci Panting]
[Low Growling]
[Roaring]
- [Screaming]
- Whoa!
[Screaming]
- [Yelling]
- [Shrieking]
Oh! Aah! I'm outta here!
I'm outta here!
[Wailing]
[Screaming]
[Screaming Echoes]
[Screaming]
[Moaning, Shrieking]
[Beeping]
[Screaming]
[Gasping]
Come on, buddy.
There you go.
[Gasping]
[Gun Cocking]
- Where's Mason?
- It got him.
- Shit! Not Mason!
- Grabbed him.
[Mulligan]
No way this is happening!
This isn't bloody happening!
- Who's next?
- Now where do we go?
- Up.
- There are more elevators
through that hatchway over there.
- Fuck elevators.
I ain't goin' up
in no more elevators, man.
I agree with these gentlemen.
How much longer before
we can expect a rescue?
- I'm not waitin' on any rescue party.
- We checked in just before sunset.
It'll be another hours before
they start searching for us.
Are you saying they're not even
gonna start looking for this ship...
- For another day or two?
- Be a bit late by then, folks.
And we got creepy crawlies swarmin'
all over, killin' us off left and right.
Makes for a bit of a tight jam,
don't you think?
I say we stay right here!
- Are you insane?
- No. No, man. He's right.
There's plenty of food here.
We can hold out until they rescue us.
They're right.
This is the galley for the crew.
It was built to be almost
entirely airtight in case of fire.
With these hatches closed, there's
no way those things can get in here.
You wanna wind up in jail,
Mulligan?
Better that than in the belly
of one of those things.
I don't care what you do, but I'm gonna
keep on goin'. It's our only chance.
Back off!
They're wiping us out one at a time.
I say we make a stand.
Right here, right now.
[Pantucci] The whole damn
ship's infested, Finnegan.
We're not gonna make it
back to the boat anyways.
I'm not stayin' down here,
and that's a fact.
- Now, back off that hatch.
- I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I swear to God, I'll kill you.
- I'm not mucking about here.
- Whoa, whoa.
- Don't get hasty, man.
- We're not staying here, Mulligan!
- I say we are!
- [Weapons Cocking]
Last stand, eh?
[Mulligan]
We'll kick ass and take names.
You back off right now,
soldier,
before I put you down.
[Finnegan] I once saw a guy
put a fish in a bottle.
And then he corked it
and sealed it tight...
and threw it
to a baby octopus.
Now, the octopus,
he felt his way
all around that bottle.
And in less than two minutes,
he got the cork off,
slid inside...
and ate the fish.
And the moral
of this story is?
We're the fish.
Listen.
The ship's already starting to sink.
What if they don't get here in time?
- [Trillian] I-I don't want to drown.
- [Pantucci] Yeah.
Look, Mulligan,
you can do whatever you want,
but I am gonna
get my ass to the surface,
pray to God that my boat
is still there...
and those things
aren't crawlin' all over it,
and then I am gonna
bail the hell outta here.
[Panting]
[Low Wailing]
What?
[Wailing Continues]
What?
What are you looking at?
[Roaring]
[Yelling]
[Rapid Gunfire]
[Roaring]
[Shrieking]
[Wailing Recedes]
[Panting]
[Chuckles]
You want some?
You're nothin'!
[Panting]
[Roaring]
- [Growling]
- [Gasping]
You see that?
Did you see that?
- [Canton Whimpering]
- Shit!
They're closin' the damn hatches, man!
They're closin' the hatches!
- [Growling]
- [Trillian Shrieking]
[Electrical Shorting Sound]
They're herding us!
They're forcin' us to go
where they want us to go.
Wait, wait. Now you're tellin' me
these things can think?
They're pushing us
toward the bow of the ship.
What the hell is
at the bow of the ship?
- Which way?
- This just takes us back into the hold.
[Canton]
That's the way up, through there.
[Panting]
- Are you comin', or what?
- Yeah.
I'm right behind you.
[Panting]
[Steam Hissing]
What the hell is this?
Looks like some kind
of feeding ground.
Looks like
a dead end to me.
Where's Canton?
[Metallic Groaning]
[Groaning Intensifies]
Now what?
[Growling]
[Trillian] Oh, my God.
They're breaking through the hull.
[Roaring]
Go! Go! Go!
Everybody go!
Go! Go!
What is this?
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
[Trillian Panting]
Canton!
Open up, Canton!
- Open up, you bastard!
- [Grunting]
Open the door!
[Screaming]
[Wailing]
Do you hear that?
They're comin', man!
- They're comin'! [Screams]
- [Grunts]
- Son of a bitch!
- I'm sorry!
Where's my gun?
Where's my gun?
[Water Gurgling]
Hey, give me one of those!
- [Grunts]
- You idiot!
- [Beeping]
- Well, you didn't tell me to do that.
- [Water Splashes]
- You didn't tell me to do that.
[Growling]
[Roaring]
[Screaming]
- Son of a bitch!
- Hey!
No, no, no, no!
What are you doing? Come on!
I lost the backpack!
It's got the engine parts to my boat!
We're not goin' anywhere
without 'em!
- Damn!
- [Water Rushing]
- Oh, shit.
- [Trillian Gasps]
- [Roaring]
- They're catchin' up!
They're catchin' up!
We gotta slow 'em down!
- The only way to slow 'em down
is to feed 'em!
- Feed 'em?
All I got is a wet stick of gum
and a breath mint!
O-Okay!
All right!
What do we feed 'em?
What are we gonna feed 'em?
[Gunshot]
- [Screaming]
- [Roaring]
- [Roaring]
- [Screaming]
[Gasps] Oh, my God!
It's gonna sink!
[Chuckles]
It's going to sink.
- [Thunder Crashes]
- An island!
Hey!
Hey, did you see that?
Yeah, I see it!
We gotta get to it! Come on!
- That heap of junk is your boat?
- You got a better one?
[Laughing]
Wait a minute.
What if those goddamn things
are crawling inside it?
We'll have to
take our chances!
Can your boat make it to that island
without the engine parts?
- Not a chance in hell!
- Aah!
Then what are we doing?
Trust me!
I got a plan!
[Gasping, Groaning]
[Electrical Buzzing]
[Gasping, Groaning]
[Panting]
[Screams]
[Grunting]
[Snarling]
[Low Growling]
Don't say I never
gave you nothin'.
You asshole!
[Growling]
[Trigger Clicks]
[Growling]
[Screaming]
- And find the keys!
- Yeah! Yeah!
And make sure
it's got gas!
- [Thunder Crashes]
- [Grunts]
Okay, okay.
The key's gotta
be around here somewhere.
[Beeping]
[Crashing Sound]
- Did you miss me?
- Quit screwin' around.
Get to the engine room and
get me any power you can, fast.
Not even a "Joey,
I'm glad to see you"?
"Joey, what happened
to your leg?"
- Joey, you wanna be
the appetizer or the entree?
- Right, right, right.
I'm on it.
Give me the parts.
[Mutters]
- [Mocks Muttering]
- I lost 'em!
- You what?
- I lost 'em, okay? I lost 'em!
Go with the flow, will you, Joey?
I got a plan.
Plan, my ass! Without those parts,
this thing ain't gonna go...
- More than about a city block!
- Well, that's all I'm gonna need.
Now get movin', will you?
Leila?
I don't think she made it.
Right.
I'll, uh...
I'll go see what I can do.
[Clicking Weapon]
[Beeping]
[Beeping]
And kaboom.
- That oughta do it.
- All set.
But we only got enough fuel
for maybe five, six minutes max.
Then she's runnin' on fumes.
- Here goes nothin'.
- [Engine Cranking]
Come on! Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on! Come on!
- Come on! Come on! Come on!
- [Engine Sputters]
[Panting]
- [Engine Cranking]
- Yes! Yes! Yes! Come on!
Baby needs a new pair of shoes.
Come on! Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on! Come on!
- [Engine Sputters]
- Damn!
- Listen, you have to be...
- Gentle! I know, I know.
- [Engine Cranking]
- Come on! Come on! Come on!
- Come on! Come on! Come on!
- [Engine Starts]
- Yes!
- That a girl!
[Engine Idling]
Bye-bye, baby.
- Come on, man, let's book!
- [Weapon Cocking]
- Hello.
- [Gasps]
- Shit!
- I'll bet. It's nice
to see you again too.
Ah-ha-ha! No!
- Now, give me that key.
- [Thunder Crashes]
- I'll... I'll take you with me.
- Yeah, what about the others?
Fuck 'em. They have to go down
with the ship. That's how it works.
Now, give me that key. Now!
Give me that key.
[Grunts]
[Shouts]
- [Trillian Screams]
- Son of a bitch!
- Get in there and cut the engines!
- Wait! Wait! Are you crazy?
Just cut the engines, Tucc!
Do it now!
Wait! Wait!
Shit!
Give me that key,
you bitch!
[Grunts]
Goddamn it!
[Thunder Crashing]
[Screams]
[Panting]
I've never actually
killed anybody before.
Well, not on purpose,
that is.
Here, take this.
Now, just walk away
and let me go.
[Chuckles]
I don't think so.
No witnesses allowed.
I don't think this'll be quick,
but... it'll be interesting.
[Crashing Sound]
No! No!
- Huh?
- [Thunder Crashing]
[Shouting]
[Metallic Groaning, Rumbling]
- [Gasps]
- [Crashing]
Oh, now what?
[Metallic Creaking]
[Hysterical Wailing]
[Roaring]
Look out!
[Roaring]
[Gasping]
[Fierce Roaring]
[Low Growling]
Now there's somethin'
you don't see every day.
- Time to go.
- Good idea.
- [Screams]
- [Grunts]
[Growling]
[Screaming]
[Grunting]
Finnegan!
Aah!
[Fierce Growling]
[Grunting]
[Growling, Roaring]
What are you lookin' at?
[Weapon Unsheathing]
[Shrieking]
[Grunting]
Look out!
[Weapon Cocking]
Get to the cargo bay!
Go! Go!
[Roaring]
Pantucci!
Come on!
Let's get the hell outta...
[Thunder Crashing]
[Distant Wailing]
[Gasps]
God. Finnegan,
where are you?
[Thunder Crashing]
[Screams]
Jesus, lady!
Watch it, will you?
Shit. I'm sorry.
Thank God you're alive.
Damn straight I am.
Let's keep it that way, huh?
- [Thunder Crashing]
- [Panting]
- [Engine Idling]
- [Chuckles]
- [Beeping]
- [Engine Idling]
No!
No!
[Groaning]
[Moaning]
[Groaning Continues]
[Finnegan] Well, that's a hell
of a jump. Let's get up some speed.
Hang on.
Whoa!
Oh, shit!
Finnegan!
Faster! Faster!
[Roaring, Snarling]
- [Shrieking]
- Cock it!
[Shrieking]
- [Grunting]
- [Beeping]
[Beeping]
[Canton Groaning]
[Screams]
[Finnegan Grunting]
We gotta get outta here!
This thing's gonna blow!
- [Growling]
- Whoa!
[Snarling]
- Oh, shit!
- [Elevator Dings]
- [Dings]
- [Gunfire]
- Cock it!
- [Cocking]
[Shrieking]
Whoo-hoo!
[Groaning]
[Chuckling]
[Beeping]
[Beeping]
- [Grunts]
- [Beeping]
[Panicked Groaning]
[Screaming]
Hang on!
[Screaming]
[Shrieking]
Shot to shit.
Where are you
when I need you, Joey?
Hey, I found a souvenir.
Well, I guess we're
stuck on this island.
[Surf Crashing]
Well, I guess we're
stuck on this island.
Better than
a cold beer, huh?
Finnegan!
Hey, guys!
Joey!
- [Blowing Water]
- Joey!
- Joey!
- Are you all right?
Hey! Hey! Watch the leg!
W-Watch the leg!
- Watch the leg!
- I thought you said he was dead.
- I thought he was dead!
- It-lt almost had me, man.
It came crashin' right
through the windshield.
I ran out the hatch.
The thing was snappin' at my ass.
[Panting]
I dove overboard, swam like hell.
Next thing I know,
kabloowie.
And your damn surfboard
almost cut me in half, man.
[Laughing]
Hey, was it the water
in my eyes,
or did I just see a little
lip action between you two?
- Joey...
- You know, I could always go
for a stroll down the beach...
- Joey.
- Or go for a little swim.
- Although I gotta tell you, if I never
get back in that damn water again...
- Joey!
Okay, cool. I'll stick around.
You don't have to beg me.
This looks like
a nice enough place.
[Beastly Roaring]
[Snarling]
[Roaring]
[Finnegan]
Now what?
[Finnegan]
Now what?