Desperado Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Desperado script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Robert Rodriguez movie with Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Desperado. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Desperado Script



What do you want?






All I got is piss-warm Chango.



That's my brand.



This is damn good.



I'd say this is the best beer

I've ever had.






Need anything there?



I'm just glad to be alive right now.



I was up a few towns away.

You know Saragosa?



I was at a bar there.

Not unlike this one, they serve beer.



Not as good as this, but close.



And I saw something

you wouldn't believe.



I'm sitting there by myself.



Now, this bar...



...was full of lowlifes.



I mean,

not like this place here.



No, I mean bad.



Like they were up to no good.



I'm all by myself.

I like it that way.



Meanwhile, things are going on.



Under-the-table kinds of things.

Not too obvious...



...but not too secret either.






...l'm sitting...



...and in walks...



... the biggest Mexican

I have ever seen...



... Iike he owns the place.



Nobody knew what

to make of him or think of him.



But there he was, and in he walked.



He was dark too.



I don't mean dark-skinned.



This was different.



It was as if he was always

walking in a shadow.



Every step he took

towards the light...



...just when you thought his face

would be revealed, it wasn't.



It was as if the lights dimmed...



...just for him.



So this guy...



... takes a seat at the bar...



... orders a soda, sits back,

says nothing.



He ordered a soda pop?



I wasn't interested in his drink.



I was interested in what he carried.



Some sort of a suitcase,

kind of heavy.



And he sat that thing beside him

as if it were his girl.



Then, all of a sudden,

the bastard spoke.



You know he was talking business

because he upset the bartender.



Especially when he mentioned....



He said something like:



" Bitch" or...



..." Bucho."



That's what it was.






He pissed off the bartender plenty.



Some of those unsavory characters...



...not like these boys, but real scum,

they got pissed too.



Started pulling guns and knives.

Starting some shit.



Now, the stranger...



...he bolts off of the barstool.



He dives into the middle of the room

with his case.



Dives right in.



I don't know what he does there, but in

two shakes the suitcase is open...



...and he's pulled out the biggest hand

cannon I've ever fucking seen.



That was just the beginning.



You just stood there?

You didn't run for cover or join in?



I was frozen stiff.



All I could do was watch this...



...thing tear the place apart.



It was amazing.



Cutthroat scumbags were coming forward

and dying much-deserved deaths.



Don't get me wrong, this was no

class-act group like you got here.



Not at all.



No, these guys were world-class turds.



I'm sorry, but they got

what they deserved.



It was Judgment Night in that place.



He grabs one of these guys...



...the only guy still breathing.



He starts getting

information out of him.



And I knew by the whispering...



... this guy was giving up the goods.



Spilling his guts.

Confessing the world.



He told that stranger everything.






Can I get a cleaner mug?

This one's dirty.



Fuck you.



It's the cleanest one I got.



So anyway...



...without warning...



...without any hint or preview...



...the stranger whips around...



...and he sees...





You saw his face?



His face?






His eyes.



And he didn't do anything to you?



Not really. He turned

to the guy on the floor.



Stranger shot him...



... walked over to the bartender,

paid and left.



The bartender lived?



The bartender never gets killed.





            he neared the door....



No, man, the bartender got it

worse than anybody.






It's on the house...



...if you remember his face.



Thanks, but no thanks.



I'm clearing out of here.



Because I think...



...he's headed this way.



Thank you, boys!



Y'all take care!



Get back.



Stay back.



Who is it?



It's your only friend.



Don't you think you're being

a little too cautious?



One day you'll lay too hard on that

and blow your brains out.



What do you want?



He's there.



I mentioned his name

and they freaked.



Bucho's there?



One second they weren't

listening to a word I said...



...but when I mentioned him...



...they listened.



And suddenly they got very interested

in who you were.



So I laid the story down

nice and thick.



How thick?



Pretty thick.



You were the biggest Mexican

I'd ever seen.






I exaggerated, but they bought it.



They're shitting bricks right now,

I promise.



Where do I go?



Tarasco Bar's a good start.



Don't turn it into a bloodbath

like last time.



That wasn't my fault.



Of course not.



They started it.



Whatever. Just remember...



...Bucho has plenty of thugs,

but without them, he's dead.



Save your bullets.





           're my big brother.



I do feel some responsibility for you.



-Can I ask you something?




What happens when he's dead?



When Bucho's dead...


           's over.



He's the last one.



End of payback. Eye for an eye.



You finally going to be satisfied?



I think so.



I hope so.



I don't have the stomach

for this anymore.



You never did.



Neither did you.



I just called the Oro Verde Bar in




There was no answer.



Let me know if you hear anything.



I want a close lookout

on all operations.



That means double and triple checking,

even our regular customers.



I'll handle it.



Where's my car? ls it finished?

How long must I wait?



I sent it back.



Again? I could have built the thing

myself by now.



-And what's this?

-It's my sister's nephew.



He needs work, so he wanted to

show you his fighting abilities.



You call this an audition,

fighting against Pipon?



If he can't beat Cristos, I'm not

interested. Get in there.



Get out!



He doesn't look special so far.



Kick his ass!



That's more like it.



He'll never dance again.



-So much for Cristos.

-Told you.



Listen. This is what I want you to do.



Take extra men and place them

around the Tarasco and La Azteca.



These Colombians wonder

if I can handle the extra volume.



They're watching us enough as it is.







And him?



Cast that leg up.

And welcome to the family.



I have a house payment.



Excuse me.






...l used to work in a bar...


            I know what it's like

to wait on people.



And I want to tell you

that the service here...



...needs immediate improvement.



What do you mean?



What do I mean?



Our waiter...



...where is he?



Don't tell me

he's still in the bathroom.



He never came back to see if we

wanted anything else.



He never brought us our check.



We wanted our check so we could

get the hell out of here.






This should be sufficient.



And don't be expecting a tip.



If you don't treat me good,

I won't ask you out.



And your beer tastes like piss.



-We know!

-Because we piss in it!



That's not all!



Bad beer, bad service.



Don't they know not to come in?






These are for you.



Just a minute.



I wanted to see the guitar.



Do you play?



Yes, do you?



A little bit.



Play something.



Not right now.



This is my father's,

but he doesn't play anymore.






There's not much work for a mariachi.

Now he just watches TV.



I'm sorry to hear that.



He was never that good anyway.



Not as good as I'll be. Listen.



Loosen your fingers a bit.



Like this.



You know what I mean?



Loosen them up.



How do you do that?



All right.



Give me this.



Forget this hand, okay?

You want to get faster.



Here's the secret.



Got it?






Practice this...



...every day.



All day.



Next time...



...l'll show you how to play a tune...



...using what you've learned.






This reminds me of a joke.



This guy comes into a bar...



...walks to the bartender and says...



..." Bartender, I got a bet for you.



I'll bet you $    that I can piss...



...into that glass over there...



...and not spill a drop."



The bartender looks at the glass.

It's     feet away.



He says...



..."You're telling me

you'll bet me $   ...



...that you can piss,

standing here...



...into that glass,

and not spill a single drop?"



Customer looks up and says:



"That's right."



Bartender says, "You've got a bet."



The guy goes, "Okay, here we go."



Pulls out his thing.



He's thinking about the glass.



He's thinking about the glass.

Thinking about his dick.



Dick, glass, dick, glass,

dick, glass, dick, glass.



Then he lets it rip.



He pisses all over the place.



He pisses on the bar.



He pisses on the stools,

on the floor, the phone.



On the bartender!



He's pissing everywhere

except the fucking glass!



Bartender's laughing.

He's $    richer. He's like....



Piss dripping off his face.



He says, "You fucking idiot, man!



You got it in everything

except the glass!



You owe me $    puta."



Guy goes, " Excuse me

just one little second."



Goes in the back of the bar.



There's a couple of guys

playing pool.



He walks over to them.



Comes back to the bar.



Goes, " Here you go. $   ."



The bartender's like....



"Why are you so happy?

You just lost $    idiot!"



The guy says,

"See those guys there?



I just bet them $    apiece...



...that I could piss on your bar...



...your floor, your phone,

and piss on you...



...and not only would you not

be mad about it...


           'd be happy."



That's funny shit, huh?



"You'd be happy about it!"



Guess what?



He didn't check out.





            checked out just fine.



Well, I knew I would because...


            and Bucco...



-...we go way back.




Him too.



And this guy....



-I just met him today.

-Go on in.



Good work, by the way.



-Good work.

-Go in.



It's nice to see you cross the I's

and dot the T's here.



It's cool, ese, cool.



Lead the way.



In there?



Fucking disgusting.



What do you want?



I'm just looking for work.



There's no work here.



I see.



Is there something to drink?



Is there something in the case?









My guitar.



Sure you don't want to hear me play

before you say there's no work?



We just want to see

what's in the case.



If it's like you say...



...drink all you want.



But I told you already.



I'm a musician.

This is my guitar.



Don't touch it!



Get him away!






How you doing?



What is it?



It's a guitar.



It's a guitar.



We heard about a case full of guns.



I know.



Just had to make sure.



I understand.



It's him!



Well, yes.



It's me.



I'm not against you, so keep it down.



Keep it down.



I'm just looking for a man who calls--



Not yet.



What the fuck's going on?!



Is that going on now?



Watch him!



What the fuck's going on?



Friends of yours?



I swear I have no fucking idea

what the hell's going on!






You missed me!



Get up.



Come here.



I'm looking for a man who

calls himself " Bucho."



That's all.



But you had to do it the hard way.



Listen to me.



I don't want to kill you.



I just want you to take me to him.




Tried to shoot me in the back, huh?!






If you want to go...






If you're going to stay...






Fuck you!



The money's still in back.



So's the pickup.



Pick-up Guy's lying on the floor

with   bullets in his head.



-Tavo must have shot him.

-Where's Tavo?



Tavo's outside.






  blocks up.



Tell him to get his ass over here!



-I want to know what happened!

-He's dead.



I'll tell you, boss...



...whoever it was didn't

come for the money.



They came for me.



You've heard stories of the man

with a guitar case full of weapons.



Those are stories.

That's all they are, stories.



I cannot believe it.



Can't you see we are fucking closed?!



We need to find him.



You said the Colombians are watching.



So we move quickly.



He's probably left town.



He knows I'm here now.



He's not going anywhere.



Where am l?









What the hell did you give me?






I'm operating.



Where is everybody?



I closed early

so no one would come around.



No one would come around anyway.






Nobody reads.



Is it yours? All those...






It's mine.



My parents passed away.



They left me the building

and some money.



I have an apartment upstairs.



Why a bookstore?



This town never had a bookstore.



So I get this bright idea.



Are you sure

you know what you're doing?



Why a bookstore, huh?



All right. Isn't there a hospital?



Trust me. You don't want

to go to a hospital here.



You'll never find work in this town.






The guitar.



Nobody hires musicians around here.



I know.



I use it to pick up girls.



Oh, come on!



-You see this?

-I see it.



That one had your name on it.



You don't even know my name.



That's right.



I don't know your name.



You smoke?









It's the least I can do for you,

after saving my life.



Have a couple more.



-What is it?




Hot water.






What're you doing?!




-You're crazy.



Relax. Here, this is the cold water.






Let's stitch you up.



Get out of here!



I know you.






You're that guy you always

hear stories about.



You kill drug dealers.



Do you know Bucho?



I hope you don't think

you can take Bucho alone.



You know him?






I have a few friends I can call.



They owe me a favor.



Don't complain.



That would be straight if you hadn't

been moving so much.



That one's worse.



Who did that one?



I did, a long time ago.



I don't want to know what that is.



Saved my life more than once.



You can have it.



No, thanks.



No, I'm okay.



Will you help me?



I don't think I can help you.



I must leave my things here

for a few minutes.






I can trust you, right?









All right.



Where're you going?



I have to go to church.



What for?



Confess my sins.



I'm a sinner.



I know.



Did I thank you?



No, you didn't.



I will.



What do you think?



Bulletproof windows...






...the hood.



Just what you asked for.






...there are no more pickups today,

except one in Hidalgo.



Stay away from there.



The rest of the town is game.

Take this car and find him!



I'll take my truck.



Take the car. That's why I got it.



If you see a stranger...



...kill him. I can't take

any more chances.



The sunroof's bulletproof.



Works as a shield

when shooting out the top.



Look at this guy.



It works.

Now go and get him.



I want you to take her.

You'll need all the help you can get.



You too.



Bless me, Father, for I have

just killed quite a few men.



No shit.



From what I hear, you cleaned out

the entire Tarasco Bar.



Nice job. Every hit man

in Coahuila's looking for you.



Things got out of hand.



I said no more bloodbaths.



I told you. Bucho's the last one.



Then I'm finished.



No, I'm finished.

They killed the woman you loved.



Then they shot through your hand.



Two points. Wake up!



There is no payback for that.



Walk away.



Trust me...



...this is one you won't

want to see through to the end.



What do you mean?



I've done some checking, and Bucho

is not someone to mess with.



Trust me.



I cannot leave without Bucho.



You don't expect to live much longer?

Fine. I do.



If you need any more help...



...don't call me.



Call Campa and Quino.

They're crazy.



I should be able to count on you!



Those days are gone.



Just wait! Come on!



Good luck. Don't get shot.



Did you want confession?



Maybe later, Father.

Because where I am going...



...l'd just have to come right back.






...l didn't call about it before




...l could handle it.



Yes, he's got no place to go.



I got my men on him right now.



You brought someone in?!



How long has he been here?



Who is he?



What are you talking about?

We can handle it.



Someone like that will

just tear the place up...



...will make a lot of noise.



What does your guy look like?



I've got to know, or the wrong people

might get killed.



Next time I'll call sooner,

but I knew I could handle this--






What's the number

to the phone in my car?



Fuckheads, what's the number

to my car phone?!






It's in your car, boss.



What's the fucking number

to the phone in my car?






-What are you doing? Get away.

-You can't go away like this.



I need you.



I dreamt about her again.



So what!



Listen to me!



You are right.



You are right.



Maybe I should quit.



Now you're talking some sense,

because let me tell you...


            keep this up

and it'll be over real quick.



Get in!



Watch it!



Where is he? We got to kill him.



It's me again.



The man you sent in--

What does he look like?



Just so that I know.

So my people don't get confused.



Dark hair, dark skin.

I figured that.



Can I have a few more details?



Tattoo on his chest.



Tattoo of a woman on his chest.



What else?



Any weapons?



Throwing knives.






And pay-phone money so he can

call you with progress reports.



Yes, okay.



That should do it, thanks.



We'll stay out of his way.



Yeah, thank you.






This is what I was talking about.

Our own people are watching us.



He's been here since this morning,

checking on us.






Go find him!



Go and find who?



There's no one else!



He is claimed as a Colombian.

They won't admit they're after you.



There's someone else out there.

And I want to find him now!



Who else is there?



The guitar player?



The guy is a myth.



-A myth.

-You are not a believer.



That will be your downfall.



I'm going with you.

I can't leave this up to you.



Now my ass is on the line.






Why aren't you practicing?



I told you, man.

Every day, all day.



I can't play this guitar.



Come on.



Where are you going?



I'm going to get my guitar.



I'll wait here.



It's right over there.



What's over there?



My guitar. I want to show you

I've been practicing.



Stupid kid.



Stay there.

No one else is supposed to be here.



See? Here it comes.



See? Now this one I can play.



Don't even think about it.



Give me the guitar.



The guitar!



Go away.






This your father's guitar?



Is this why he doesn't work now?



They switch guitars every few days.



What do you get?



My father doesn't have to work.

He watches TV.



He says they hide it all over.



Ladies with baby carriages,

the church...



...bookstores. Ask Carolina.



She'll tell you.



She does the same thing.



What? Jesus.



-What did you tell him?!




-You work for him, right?

-I work for nobody.



I want to know what you said!







What are you talking about?!



You said I was at church!



-I haven't said anything to anybody!

-Look at me now!



You're protecting him!



-I'm not!

-You are!



If I was, I would've

told him you were here!



You don't want him dead!



I want no one dead!

Killing him is not the answer.






You know what I see?



I see you are no better than he is.



The same shit!



Anybody can be bought.



Not anybody.



You're so good, huh?



You see this bookstore? It's mine.



Somebody comes

and drops something off.



-A couple of days later...

-How much?



...somebody else comes to

pick it up.



I rent space!



-That's all I do.

-How much?!



The back room.



How much does he pay you?



$      a year.



$     .






Look at you. You're a mess again.

Come here.



On the counter.



I didn't open this place

just to see it fail.



It wasn't making any money.

I would've had to close.



One day, Bucho walks in

with a suitcase full of money...



...and says to me,

" Carolina, take this...



...and go about your business...



...and I will give you $      a year."



They've done it with

a lot of people here.



They use our business as fronts.



I used some of the money

to keep this place open.



And I stashed the rest, thinking...



...if some day...



...things got really bad here...



...l'd have the money to leave.



But I can't leave.



Because once you're in,

you can't get out.



The closest thing I had to a brother...



...was just killed.



I cannot stop what it is I have to do.



I cannot.



Damn it!



Do you need some help?



No. I was trying to move my...


            cash register.



I needed a new one anyway.






...what brings you here?



I don't come around much anymore,

do l?






How've you been?



Been okay.






Business is good.



About as good as it can be.



I told you...






Not in this town.



And you?



I'm looking for someone

that's threatening our business.



You may have heard

about the bar today.



Oh, yeah. There was a shooting.



Have you seen anyone around

that may look--












The guy I'm looking for

is obviously dangerous...


            I'm not asking you

to confront him...






...if you see him...



...will you call me?






I mean...



...we can't have any more shootings.



But I haven't seen him.






...wouldn't lie to me...



...would you?






That's some mess you've got.






I better clean it up.



Thank you for the coffee.

Call me.






...if I see him...



...l'll be sure to call you.



Call me.



Was that him?



You're not doing anything to him here

or we'll both be killed.



And I don't want to die over this.



Stay away from the window.



This one's not so bad.



Actually, it's almost straight.



Why didn't you tell him...



...l was here?



I don't know.



I know you think

he's a terrible person.



Honey, he is.



He is.



Not really.



He's got a good side to him.



And that's the only thing

that can save him.



What is this?



That was for you.



It was for me?



It's not for me anymore?



Okay, you can have it.



I didn't get you a case,

since you already have one.



It's beautiful. Thank you.



And I was thinking maybe...


            can clear out the guns

and put this in instead.






Play something.






Come on, let me help you.



-I'm sorry.

-Be careful.



It's okay.



No, I can't play anymore.






Well, look at my hand. It's....



I can't.



We can improvise.






Do you play?



A little.



All right.



That's not even a note.



Let me show you.



Put these fingers over here.



Like this?



Good. That's nice.



Let me see.



All right.






...he's in the bookstore.



Yeah, I'm sure of it.



Check it out anyway. If he's in there,

and she's hiding him...



...kill them both.



Make it look like an accident.



It's a bookstore.



Burn it down.






Come on!






Take this!



Do what?



Come on!






I must get my purse!



Fuck it!












You look great.



Thank you.



Where're we going?



Downstairs, out the front.



Take this.



Jesus Christ!



What are you doing?!



Get out of here!



Let's go!



Go! Go! Go!



You okay?



I'm sorry, Carolina.



I'm sorry.



That's him.






That's Bucho?



I can shoot him from here.









What are you doing?



Shoot him.



Shoot him!



My whole life was in there.



Can't you see?



Can't you see?

He's going to kill me.



Come on!






What's wrong?

You had the perfect chance!



What's the matter?

Why didn't you shoot him?



Come on.



Come on.



Come on!



Wait a minute!



It's one thing...



...if you can't find someone

running around the city...



...hiding anyplace he chooses.



I can understand that.



Now what I can't understand is...


            can you let him get away

when you knew where he was?



You drive around town...


            see someone you don't know,

shoot them.



How hard is that?



Look over there.



I don't know him.



Never seen him before.



A gun!



It must be him.



Now, how hard is that?



It's that easy.






Who are those guys?



I've never seen them.



Now, how hard is that?






Can you handle that?

Or I got to do everything myself?



I'll handle it.



Bet your ass you will.



Take my car!

That's what I bought it for!



Stay here.



I need someone competent

guarding this place!



Hurry up!



I wasn't always like this.



I can see that.



I was a musician.



Were you any good?



I was okay.



They shot my hand.



You know...


           's easier to pull the trigger

than play guitar.



Easier to destroy than to create.



They killed the woman I loved.



They ruined my life.



Bucho's men were responsible for it.



Why didn't you kill Bucho?



All right...


           's the plan:



You can still get away

without me having to kill him.



You have money.



There is no money.






It's gone.



I had it hidden in the books.



It burned.



Oh, shit.



I have nothing. Nothing.



Oh, great.






What about calling your friends?









They'd destroy the city.



Bucho would still get away.

Forget it.



It may not matter to you...



...but he'll follow me everywhere I go

until I'm dead.



It does matter to me.






Is Quino there?



How fast can the two of you

get to Santa Cecilia?



I'll be looking for you.









...bring your guitars.



Give me the strength...


            be what I was.



And forgive me for what I am.



Back together again, eh?



Let's play.



Cover yourself!






I'm not sure this is the place.



This is the place.



I'm going with you.






What are you doing here?



I thought I was looking for

the devil himself.



And all this time

it was my own brother.



I didn't know it was you.



I only found out this morning.



I ought to kill you right now.



You disgraced me.



We always knew you were up to no good.



Never thought you'd go this far.



So my little brother comes here...


            teach me a lesson.



Show me what's right from wrong.



You are a guitar player.



What are you doing killing my men,

ruining my business?!



They killed the woman I loved.



You killed them!

What do you want?



I don't set out to kill innocent people.



You just buy innocent people.



You don't kill them...



...until you have no use for them.



Isn't she the woman you love now?



When we take away something...



...we replace it.



She's a real piece of work.



Trust me. I know.



Sorry about the bookstore.



I always said

it would go up in smoke.



Had I known it was my brother you were

fucking, I'd have acted differently.






...l've learned to read the eyes of men.



What do you read in mine?



Defeat, brother.






Look at you.



You came here to kill me.



Papa wouldn't be proud of you anymore.



You were his little guitarrista.



His little mariachi.



And now...



...just a piece of shit like me!



You want to kill me?



Let me tell you something.



You have already killed me!



Put your hands up, manito.



Let's go.



Put them up!



I'm sorry.



But I can't have you acting heroic

when I punish Carolina...



...for betraying me.



But let me do this

and we'll be even.



Clean slate.



You killed my men. Okay.



What's done is done.



I'm finished anyway.



But now...



...l kill Carolina.



And you get to watch.



Goodbye, Carolina.



Everyone I've killed...



...was someone's father...



...someone's son...



...someone's brother.






Where are you going?



I don't know.






Did I thank you?






I will.






I want you to thank me right now.



Thank you.



Just in case.



It's a long ride to the next town.




Special help by SergeiK