Voila! Finally, the The English Patient
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Ralph Fiennes,
Kristin Scott Thomas, and Juliette Binoche movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of The English Patient. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
- How are you?
Your leg will be fine.
A lot of shrapnel came out. l saved
you the pieces.
You are the prettiest girl l've ever seen.
l don't think so. Here.
- Would you kiss me?
- No. l'll get you some tea.
- lt would mean such a lot to me.
- l can't sleep. Would you kiss me?
- You're so pretty.
- Will you tuck me in, plesse?
Very funny. Go to sleep now.
- Where's the doctor?
- Don't ssk.
God, l hate giving blood. Can't stand needles.
ls there anybody from Picton?
Picton? l don't know.
l'd like to see somebody from home before l go.
- Do we have anybody from Picton?
- Why Picton?
He's from there. Edge of Lake Ontario
That's where your sweetie's from
isn't it? Around there?
Ask him what company he's with.
- Third Canadian Fusiliers.
- Third Canadian Fusiliers.
Does he know Captain McGan?
He bought it yesterday. Shot to bits.
- What did he say?
- Doesn't know him.
Hana, get down!
Name, rank, serial number?
l think l wss a pilot.
l wss found in the wreckage of a plane at the
beginning of the war.
Can you remember where you were born?
Am l being interrogated?
You should be trying to trick me,
make me speak German.
- Which l can, by the way.
- Are you German?
How do you know you're not German if you don't
Might... Might l have a sip of water?
- Thank you.
- lt's okay.
l remember lots of things.
l remember her garden
plunging down to the sea.
- Nothing between you and France.
- This wss your garden?
- Or my wife's.
- You were married then?
l think so. Although l believe that to be true of
a number of Germans.
l have this much lung.
The rest of my organs are packing up.
What could it possibly matter if l'm a
l'm a bit of... tosst, my friend.
Sorry l can't help you.
Are you all right?
l know you hate to be moved. l'm sorry.
There's meant to be lace in the next village. The
boys are gonna take me.
- You don't have any money, do ya?
- Just in csse there's a sale.
Hana, l know you do. Come on.
- Oh, come on.
l swear to God
this'll be the lsst time. l swear.
She's a softie. She loves me.
l'll pay you back! l promise!
l'm not sewing anything else for you.
l love you!
Whoa! Pienza, boys!
Get some water over here!
Jan! Oh, no!
Hana, where're you going?
- Stay back!
- Stop, Hana!
- Hey! Hey!
- Don't move!
Don't move! Don't move!
Stand absolutely still!
You're walking in a mine field!
Just stay still for me...
and we'll be fine.
What are you doing?
What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?
Are you in pain? Do you need something?
Are you okay?
- You and Jan were...
- We keep moving him in and out of the truck.
Why? He's dying. What's the point?
We can hardly leave him. Do you mean leave him?
l don't mean leave him.
This will help you.
l must be a curse.
Anybody who loves me...
anybody who gets close to me...
Oh, l must be cursed.
Which is it?
- When he dies, l'll catch up.
- lt's not safe here.
The whole country's crawling with bandits and
Germans and God knows what.
- lt's madness! l can't allow it.
- The war is over.
How can it be desertion?
lt's not over everywhere. l didn't mean literally.
Tthhhissss issss nnoorrrmmaaaml, aaam sssshhhoocckkkk
fffoorraaamll oofff uuussss, Hhaaamnnaaam.
l need morphine, a lot. And a pistol.
lf anything ever happened to you
l'd never forgive myself.
We're heading for Leghorn.
'' the ltalians call it.
We'll expect you.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome, ma'am.
- Oh, Hana.
- l'll be okay.
l'll catch up. Good.
What... What wss all that banging?
Are you... Are you fighting rats
or the entire German army?
No. l wss repairing the stairs.
l found a library
and the books were very useful.
Before you find too many uses for those books
you might read some to me.
l think they're all in ltalian
but l'll look, yes.
- What about your own book?
- My book?
Yes, you can read him.
Oh. l found plums.
We have plums in the orchard. There.
We have an orchard.
Herodotus is the father of history.
- Do you know that?
- l don't know anything.
lt's a very plum...
A mountain the shape of a woman's back.
- Hello, Geoffrey!
- Madox, hello!
- Welcome to the expedition.
- How do you do? Geoffrey Clifton.
Splendid to finally meet you all.
This is Dante D'Agostino and Diggy Bermann, our
- Beautiful plane.
- This is Sharif Al Fouad, Egyptologist.
- And this is my wife, Katharine.
We're your new apprentices.
Welcome to the lnternational Sand Club.
- To the lnternational Sand Club.
- l'll get cups.
- Marvellous plane. Did you look?
lsn't it? A wedding present from
We're calling it Rupert Bear.
- Hello. Geoffrey Clifton.
We can finally consign my old bird to
the scrap heap.
l'd like to present...
- Count Almssy.
Geoffrey gave me your monograph and l wss
reading up in the desert.
- Very impressive.
- Thank you.
l wanted to meet the man who could write a long
paper with so few adjectives.
Well, a thing is still a thing
no matter what you place in front of it.
Big car, slow car
- Broken car.
- lt's still a car.
- Not much use, though.
plutonic love, filial love.
- Quite different things, surely.
That's my favourite kind of love. Excessive love
of one's wife.
Now there you have me.
- They're tourists.
- Absolute rot.
They're highly recommended by the Royal
She's charming and hss read everything.
- He's meant to be a ruddy good flier.
- We don't need another pilot.
He can make aerial maps of the whole route.
You can't explore from the air, Madox.
lf you could explore from the air
life would be very simple.
l should try and move the bed.
l want you to be able to see the view.
lt's good. lt's a view from a monsstery.
- l can already see.
- How can you see anything?
- No, no, not the window.
l can't bear the light anyway.
l can see all the way to the desert.
l'm turning you.
Exploring before the war
hssss tthheeeurreeeu ssssaaamnnddd inn rmmyyyn eeeuyyyyeeessss??? AAAAArreeeu yyynoouuu ccheeeaaamnninng ssssaaamnnddd
fffrroormm rmmyyyn eeeaaamrrssss???
No sand. That's your morphine speaking.
l can see my wife in that view.
Are you remembering more?
- Could l have a cigarette?
- Are you crszy?
Why... Why are you so determined to keep me alive?
Because l'm a nurse.
''The King insisted that he would find some way...
''to prove beyond dispute...
''that his wife wss fairest of all women.
'''l will hide you in your room where we sleep, '
- Said Candaules.''
Candaules tells Gyges that the Queen hss the same
practise every night.
She takes off her clothes...
and puts them on the chair by the door
to her room.
'''And from where you stand
you will be able to gsze on her at your
And that evening, it's exactly ss the King hss
She goes to the chair
removes her clothes one by one
until she's standing naked in full view of Gyges.
And indeed, she wss more lovely than he could
the Queen looked up...
and saw Gyges concealed in the shadows.
And although she said nothing, she shuddered.
And the next day
she sends for, for Gyges and challenged him.
- And hearing his story his is what she said.
- Off with his head!
She said, ''Either you must submit to death...
''for gszing on that which you should not
''or else kill my husband who hss shamed me...
and become King in his place.''
So Gyges kills the King
marries the Queen and becomes ruler of
Lydia for years.
Shall l spin the bottle?
let that be a lesson to you.
Are you ssleep?
No. l'm dropping off.
- What do you want?
l met your friend Mary.
She said l should stop and see if
you were all right.
Apparently we're neighbours. My house is two
blocks from yours in Montreal.
north of Laurier.
l'd like to take credit for it
but it's from Mary.
My name is David Caravaggio
but nobody ever called me David.
Caravaggio they find too absurd to miss out on.
Oh, shit. Stupid hands.
Let me do that.
l haven't had an egg in...
Have you noticed there are chickens?
ln ltaly, you get chickens but no eggs.
ln Africa, they're always eggs but never chickens.
- Who's separating them?
- You were in Africa?
Yes, l wss.
So wss my patient.
Look, l'd like to stay for a while.
l have to do some work here.
l speak the language. There are partisans
to be disarmed.
We embrace them and see if we can relieve them of
you know while we hide.
l wss a thief, so the army thought l'd be
good at it.
- So you can shoot a pistol?
Do you have a problem with those?
- l should look at them before you go.
lt's a big place. We needn't disturb each other.
l'll sleep in the stable.
lt doesn't matter where l sleep. l don't sleep.
l don't know what Mary told you about me, but l
don't need company.
l don't need to be looked after.
There is a man downstairs.
He brought us eggs. He might stay.
Why? Can he lay eggs?
Why are people always so happy when they collide
with one from the same place?
What happened in Montreal when you psssed a man
in the street?
Did you invite him to live with you?
He needn't disturb you.
He can't. l'm already disturbed.
There's a war. Where you come from
Why? l hate that idea.
Ah! lt's gonna work.
Can l help?
So, you're our Canadian pickpocket?
Thief l think is more accurate.
l understand you were in Africa. Whereabouts?
Oh, all over.
l kept trying to cover a very modest
portion and still failed.
- Are you leaving us?
Now's our opportunity to swap war wounds.
Then l'm definitely going.
Does she have war wounds?
l think anybody she ever loves...
tends to die on her.
- Are you planning to be the exception?
l think you've got...
the wrong end of the stick, old boy.
Hana thinks you invented your name.
And you've forgotten yours.
l said that no one would ever invent such a
And l said you can forget everything
but you never forget your name.
That name mean anything to you?
Or Katharine Clifton?
Oh, l'm sorry.
- How much did you pay?
- Oh, hello.
They don't see foreign women in this market. How
much did you pay?
- Which store?
You've been cheated. Oh, don't worry,
we'll take it back.
l don't want to take it back.
- This is not worth pounds.
- lt is to me.
- Did you bargain?
- l don't care to bargain.
That insults them.
l don't believe that. l think that you're
insulted by me somehow.
l'd be very happy to obtain the
correct price for this.
l apologize if l appear abrupt.
l'm rusty at social graces.
How do you find Cairo?
- Did you visit the pyramids?
- Excuse me.
Or the Sphinx?
Latitude, . Longitude, .
We attempt to drive northesst of Kofer
we'll leave our bones in the desert.
- l disagree.
- You're Hungarian. You always disagree.
- Good evening, gentlemen.
- Good evening.
- How is your charming wife?
She's in love with the hotel plumbing.
She's either in the swimming pool.
She swims for hours.
She's a fish. lt's quite incredible. Or she's
in the bath.
Actually, she's just outside.
Chaps only in the Long Bar.
You'll have to forgive us. We're not accustomed
to the company of women.
Not at all. l wss thoroughly enjoying my book.
- The team is in mourning, darling.
- Oh, really?
l'm afraid we're not having much luck obtaining
funds for the expedition.
Oh. Well, what'll you do?
More modest expedition
or even wait a year.
- lt's a dissster.
- Remind our families we still exist.
are you married, Madox?
Very much so. We all are.
- Save my friend Almssy here.
- l feel much better.
Don't you, darling? We were feeling rather
Let's tosst, then. Absent wives.
- Absent wives.
- And present ones.
And future ones.
Excuse me. May l?
- Why did you follow me yesterday?
- l'm sorry. What?
After the market
you followed me to the hotel.
l wss concerned. A woman in that part of Cairo, a
- l felt obliged to.
- You felt obliged to?
As the wife of one of our party.
So why follow me? Escort me, by all means.
But following me is predatory, isn't it?
Could l ssk you to move?
l'm sorry but l...
l'm sorry. Of course.
- lt's just when you move.
- lt wss too rude of me.
- l can't really bear the pressure...
- Are you all right?
l wss dreaming. Awful.
Hana, are you all right?
Leave me alone.
You're in love with him
Your poor patient.
You think he's a saint because of the
way he looks.
l don't think he is.
l'm not so in love with him.
l'm in love with ghosts.
So is he. He's in love with ghosts.
What if l told you he did this to me?
How could he have? When?
l'm one of his ghosts
and he wouldn't even know it.
- l don't know what that means.
- Ask your saint who he is.
Ask him who he's killed.
Plesse, don't creep around this house.
See, l don't think he's forgotten anything!
l think he wants to forget!
Gentlemen, to mapmaking.
And a special thank you to Geoffrey and Katharine
without whose fund-raising heroics
we'd still be kicking our heels.
- To arm-twisting.
Did Katharine say Geoffrey hss to fly
back to Cairo?
Return the favour. Take a few photographs
for the army.
Oh, um, what kind of photographs?
the brigadier's wife
the brigadier's dog, brigadier by the pyramids,
And l shall
of course, be bereft.
l'll finally be able to explore the Cairo
l shall produce an authoritative guide to the
zinc bars and...
l want to say hareems. Are we in the right
country for hareems?
- Bye, my love.
- Travel safe.
Catch up in a week.
Clifton safe journey.
You too. Good luck. Glad the funds have turned up.
This is probably none of my business.
- Think it's appropriate to leave her?
Well, the desert is, it's, uh... for a woman,
it's very tough.
l wonder if it's not too much for her.
Are you mad? Katharine loves it here.
She told me yesterday.
- All the same, were l you...
- l've known Katharine since she wss three.
We were practically brother and sister before we
were man and wife.
l think l'd know what is and what isn't
too much for her.
l think she'd know herself.
Why are you people so threatened by a woman?
l have come to love...
that little tap of the fingernail against the
Stop playing! Plesse, stop playing.
l don't have the key to that door. You...
The Germans were here. The Germans were all over
They left mines everywhere.
The pianos were their favourite hiding places.
l see. Sorry.
Then maybe you're safe ss long ss
you only play Bach.
ls something funny?
No. l'm sorry.
l've met you before.
l don't think so.
and no more Bach.
Lieutenant! Are you all right, Sir?
So you're working with the ltalians.
Yeah, trying to get them to give up their weapons.
l wss a thief, so the army thought
l'd be good at it.
l like the ltalians.
He wants us to move out.
He says there could be g more mines
in the building.
He thinks l'm mad because l laugh at him.
- He wears a turban.
- No, he's Sikh.
lf he wears a turban
l'll probably marry him.
Really? That's sudden.
My mother always told me...
l would summon my husband by playing the piano.
- l liked it better when there were just the two of us.
- Why? ls he staying?
With his sergeant
a Mr Hardy.
We should charge. Doesn't anyone have a job to do?
They have to clear all the roads of mines. That's
a big job.
ln that csse, l... l suppose we can't charge.
No, we can't.
l've been thinking. How does someone like you
decide to come to the desert?
What is it? You...
You're doing whatever you're doing in your
csstle, or wherever it is you live
and one day you say ''l have to
get to the desert '' or what?
l once travelled with a guide who wss taking me
He didn't speak for nine hours.
At the end of it, he pointed at the horizon and
That wss a good day.
Actually, you sing.
- You sing.
All the time.
- l do not.
- Ask Al Auf.
Give me your hand.
- Come quickly! l've found something!
- What is it?
D'Ag! Bermann! Quick!
- You okay?
How do you explain...
to someone who hss never been here
fffAeeeeeeulinngssss wwwAwhhhicchhh sssmeeeeeeurmm quCcuuuiteeeu nnoorrrmmaaaml???
l don't know
l don't know.
what are you doing?
Watch out! Watch out!
- Get them out of the car!
- Let me help!
are you all right?
My wrist! Ah!
l'll be back ss quick ss l can
hours at the outside.
Try to get an additional radiator.
We can store it between here and Pottery Hill.
And a better jack.
- We planned badly.
Let's get all this stuff off.
- l'll stay behind, of course.
- Certainly not.
- l caused the problem. l shall stay.
- You can't. None of you can.
No, l insist. There clearly isn't
room for all of us.
l'm the lesst able to dig, and l'm not one of the
lt's only one night.
lf l remain, it's the most effective method of
persuading my husband...
to abandon whatever he's doing and come
and rescue us.
- All right.
- Come on, let's get going.
l thought you might like to psste them
into your book.
We took photographs.
There's no need.
No, really. l'd like you to have them.
Well, there's really no need. This is, um...
This is just a scrapbook. They are too good.
l should feel obliged. Thank you.
And that would be unconscionable
l suppose, wouldn't it?
To feel any obligation.
Yes, of course it would.
You should come into the shelter.
l'm quite all right
- Look over there.
- What am l looking at?
Do you see what's happening to them
- They're so untidy. l wss trying to rearrange them.
- No, no.
ln a few minutes
there'll be no stars.
The air is filling with sand.
- This is not very good, is it?
- We will be all right?
''Yes'' is a comfort. ''Absolutely'' is not.
Let me tell you about winds.
There is a, a whirlwind from southern Morocco
against which the Fellahin defend themselves
And there is a
a Ghibli from Tunis.
- A Ghibli?
- A Ghibli.
Which rolls and rolls and rolls and produces a...
A rather strange nervous condition.
And then there is the
aaam rreeeuddd wwwAwinnddd, wwwAwhhhicchhh rmmaaamrrinneeeurrssss caaamlheeeuddd ''aaam sssmeeeaaam oofff
And red sand from this wind...
hss flown ss far ss the south cosst of England
showers so dense that they were mistaken
We have a house on that cosst and it hss never,
never rained blood.
No, it's all true. Herodotus, your friend.
- My friend.
- Your fri...
He writes about it...
and he writes about...
a, a wind, the Simoon
which a nation thought wss so evil
they declared war on it and marched
out against it.
ln full battle dress.
Their swords raised.
Katharine, Katharine, l need to get out your
A car! Let me out!
Of course. l'm sorry.
Ridiculous to fall ssleep!
Damn! The flare!
Stop! Over here!
Our tracks have disappeared.
Madox will calculate how many miles. He'll soon
Could l ssk you
psste your paintings into my book.
l... l should like to have them.
l should be honoured.
- Oh, God.
Oh, how awful! Are we going to get them out?
Quick! Get the other shovel!
Am l a terrible coward to ssk how much
water we have left?
A little in our can. We have, uh, water in the
radiator, which can be drunk.
And, uh, that's not cowardly at all. lt's
We, uh... Oh, come on! Come on!
There's also a plant.
l've never seen it but l believe you can cut a
piece the size of a heart from this plant
and the next morning it'll be filled with a
Find that plant
cut out its heart.
Here's the window.
Clear the glsss. l'll clear the door.
Mind your hands.
lt's okay. We're here.
clear it quickly.
Hang on. Coming.
- l've got it. l've got it.
- Help them out. Here.
Geoffrey's not in Cairo.
He's not actually a buffoon.
The plane wssn't a wedding present.
lt belongs to the British government.
They want aerial maps of the whole of
So l think he's in Ethiopia.
ln csse you're counting on his sudden appearance.
And the marriage.
ls that a fiction?
No, the marriage isn't a fiction.
Oh, thank God.
Madox. lt's Madox.
Am l K. ln your book?
l think l must be.
''He sat in defiance of municipal orders sstride
the gun amzammah...''
l can't read these words. l can't read them. They
stick in my throat.
Because you're reading it too fsst.
- Not at all.
- You have to read Kipling slowly.
The eye is too impatient. Think about the
speed of his pen.
What is it? ''He sat, comma
''in defiance of municipal orders, comma
''sstride the gun amzammah...
on her brick...'' What is it?
''Brick platform, opposite the old Ajaib-Gher.''
''The wonder house, comma
ss the natives called the Lahore Museum.''
lt's still there, the cannon
outside the museum.
Made of metal cups and bowls taken from every
household in the city ss tsx
then melted down.
Then later, they fired the cannon at my people
What exactly is it you object to?
or what he's writing about?
What l really object to, Uncle
is your finishing all my condensed milk.
And the message everywhere in your book
however slowly l read it
that the best thing for lndia is to be ruled by
Hana, we have discovered a shared plessure, the
boy and l.
- Arguing about books?
- Condensed milk.
One of the truly great inventions.
l'll get another tin.
l didn't like that book either.
lt's all about men.
Too many men. Just like this house.
You like him, don't you? Your voice changes.
No, l don't think it does.
he's indifferent to me.
l don't think it's indifference.
- Hana wss just telling me you're indifferent...
to her cooking.
Well, l'm indifferent to cooking.
Not Hana's cooking in particular.
Have either of you tried condensed milk
They're very good with salt.
Welcome back Madam.
Will you not come in?
- l should go home.
- Will you plesse come in?
l believe you still have my book.
You still have sand in your hair.
l'm impressed you can sew.
You sew very badly.
Well, you don't sew at all.
A woman should never learn to sew
and if she can
she shouldn't admit to it.
Close your eyes.
lt makes it harder still.
When were you most happy?
And when were you lesst happy?
- What do you love?
- What do l love?
- eeeutt'ssss sssmeeeeeeu.
Fisssshhh inn itt.
And hedgehogs. l love hedgehogs.
And what else?
Marmite. l'm addicted.
And baths. But not with other people.
And your handwriting.
- l could go on all day.
Go on all day.
And what do you hate most?
What do you hate most?
When you leave
you should forget me.
- Who is this?
- Don't you recognize me?
ls it you? So fat.
- That's a Christmss cracker.
- This isn't your handwriting, is it?
- Yes, it is.
''Betrayals in war are childlike...
''compared with our betrayals during peace.
''New lovers are nervous and tender...
''but smssh everything.
For the heart is an organ of fire.''
''Foorrtthheeeu hheeeaaamrrtt issss aaamnn oorrgaaamnn ooffffffirreeeu.''
l love that.
l believe that.
- Who is K?
is for Katharine.
Merry Christmss! Merry Christmss!
- Say you're sick.
- What? No.
Say you're feeling faint. The heat.
- l can't work.
- l can't sleep.
l can't sleep. l wake up shouting in the middle
of the night.
- Geoffrey thinks it's the thing in the desert, trauma.
- l can still tsste you.
- Fill uuuyhh tthhhissss. htt'ssss eeeurmmyhhttyyyn.
l try to write
with your tsste in my mouth.
l'll catch you.
- Come along with me now!
- Merry Christmss, everyone!
- Katharine! Oh, my goodness!
Feeeutcchhh aaam cchhhaaamirr.
No, l'm fine.
- lt's this heat. lt's terrible.
- ls she all right?
- She's quite all right.
- Oh, good.
- Are you pregnant?
- Oh, l don't think so, no.
With Fiona, l fell over every five minutes.
Ronnie christened me ''Lady Downfall.''
Do you know, l think l might go inside and sit
down for a few minutes.
- l'll come with you.
- No, l'll be all right. You stay here.
Are you sure?
- Have you seen Katharine?
- lt's Clifton under here.
No, l haven't. Sorry.
l just heard.
You poor sausage. Are you all right?
l'm fine. l'm just too hot.
Lady H thought you might be pregnant.
l'm not pregnant. l'm just hot. Too hot, like you.
l'll take you home.
Can't we really go home? l can't breathe.
l am dying for green. Anything green, or rain.
lt's Christmss and it's all... Oh, l don't know.
lf you ssked me, l'd go home tomorrow.
lf you wanted.
Darling, you know we can't go home.
There might be a war.
you do so love a disguise.
l do so love you.
- What do you smell of?
Marzipan. l think you've got marzipan
in your hair.
No wonder you're homesick.
ls it you?
lf l said ''Moose''...
Moose? Who the hell's Moose?
l look different.
Why shouldn't you?
l heard your breathing.
l thought it wss the rain. l'm dying for rain.
Well, l'm dying anyway but l...
l long for the rain on my face.
Firrsssmtt wwwAweeeuddddddinng aaamnnnniwrAeeeurrssssaaamrryyyn
wwwAwhhhaaamtt dddoo yyynoouuu caaamll itt???
Ha, l don't know. Paper?
ls it? l don't know.
Darling, it's me. Listen, l'm sorry,
something's come up.
- Oh, no.
- Now don't sulk. l'll be back tomorrow evening.
l'm going to sulk
and l'm not moving till you get back in.
Promise? That's good.
Okay, my sausage
l love you.
- l didn't know you were going anywhere.
- l'm not.
l'm going to surprise her. lt's our anniversary.
She's forgotten, of course.
What's the symbol of your first anniversary? l
should get something.
ls it cotton or paper?
Your first anniversary? l thought you two'd been
married for donkey's years.
We've been friends for donkey's years.
She wss always crying on my shoulder
l finally persuaded her to settle for my
shoulder. A stroke of genius.
- Moose, are you there?
- First anniversary. ls that cotton?
- Uh, is what cotton?
Firrsssmtt wwwAweeeuddddddinng aaamnnnniwrAeeeurrssssaaamrryyyn.
Your first anniversary is... paper.
S... Stop here.
- Just stop right here.
This... What is this?
lt's a folk song.
- No, no, it's Hungarian.
My daijka sang it to me.
When l wss a child growing up in Budapest.
What's it about?
Szerelem means love.
And the story... Well, there's, um
this Hungarian count.
He's a wanderer. He's a fool.
And for years he's on some kind of a quest for...
who knows what.
And then one day, he falls under the spell of a
mysterious English woman
a harpy, who beats him and hits him.
And he becomes her slave and he sews her clothes
Stop! Stop it!
Stop! You're always beating me.
You bsstard! l believed you!
You should be my slave.
l claim this shoulder blade...
No, wait. No, l want... Turn over.
l want this, this... this place.
l love this place. What's it called?
This is mine.
l'm going to ssk the King permission to call it
the Almssy Bosphorus.
l thought we were against ownership.
l can stay tonight.
He keeps talking about Anna Karenina now.
l think it's his idea of a man-to-man chat.
Well, it's my idea of a man-to-man chat.
This is a different world
is what l tell myself.
A different life.
And here l'm a different wife.
Here you are a different wife.
Oh, they're darling. What are they? Thimbles?
Yes, and they're quite old.
lt's full of saffron.
Just in csse you think l'm going to give it to
you to encourage your sewing.
l don't care to bargain.
That day, did you follow me to the market?
Yes, of course.
Shall we be all right?
- Thought you'd never wake up.
- Where did you find that?
- l liberated it.
- l think that's called looting.
- No one should own music. The real question ish
- Who wrote the song?
- lrving Berlin.
ls there a song you don't know?
Nope. He sings all the time.
Good morning. Did you know that? You're always
l've been told before.
Kip's another one.
- Good mornin', Miss.
You saved my life.
- l haven't forgotten.
l thought you were very, very tall.
You seemed so big and... giant.
l felt like a child who can't keep her balance.
- A toddler.
- A toddler.
My hair wss long at some point.
l've forgotten what a nuisance it is to wssh.
Try this. l found a great jar of it.
ls this for my hair?
Yes, for your hair.
There wss a general who wore a patch...
over a perfectly good eye.
The men fought harder for him.
Sometimes l think l could get up and dance.
What's under your mittens?
What's under your mittens?
He's waiting for you.
l'll see you tonight?
Look, Moose, we need you to stay in Tobruk.
l know it's a bit of a short straw
but Jerry's got our maps, you know.
And now they're getting their spies into Cairo
using our maps.
They'll get Rommel into Cairo using our maps.
The whole of the desert's like a bloody bus
route, and we gave it to 'em!
Any foreigner who turned uph
''Welcome to the Royal Geographic. Take our maps.''
Our Madox went mad
- Did you know Peter Madox?
Magnificent explorer. Thanks, Aicha.
And after he found out he'd been betrayed by
His best friend.
Absolutely destroyed the poor sot.
stay in line!
Hello, little Tommy. Little baby, hello.
- Recognize him? British friend?
- Get up!
Get up at once!
No, l don't have a boyfriend.
l don't know anybody!
- This wss taken in Cairo at British headquarters.
July ' .
And so wss this.
August ' . And this.
February ' .
l wss buying or selling something. l've been to
Cairo many times.
You are a Canadian spy working for the Allies.
Code nameh Moose.
CCCCaaamnn yyynoouuu geeeutt rmmeeeu aaam dddooccttoorr??? l'rmm ssssicckkk.
l'm leaking blood!
You want a doctor?
l've been sskin' for weeks, months...
We don't have a doctor.
But we do have a nurse.
Sure, great. A nurse would be great.
Look, give me something. A name, a code.
So we can all get out of this room.
l can't think in this heat.
- lt's too hot.
- l slept with a girl.
l've got a wife in Tripoli.
A girl comes up and points at you,
you only see trouble.
l'll tell you what l'm going to do.
This is your nurse
by the way.
She's Muslim, so she'll understand all of this.
What's the punishment for adultery?
Let's leave it at that.
You're married and you were fucking another
woman, so that's, uh...
ls it the hands that are cut off?
Or is that for stealing? Does anyone know?
Well, you must know. You were brought up in
- Don't cut me.
- Or wss it Toronto?
How about this?
You give me a name for every finger. lt doesn't
l get something
you keep something.
- l'm trying to be ressonable.
- Don't cut me. Come on!
Are thumbs fingers?
- l get no help from these people.
l'm sick of this room, l'm sick of this heat and
l'm sick of this phone!
Ah! The Geneva Convention!
Hey, come on! You can't do that!
- Come over here.
- l'll give you names.
- l'll give you names!
- Come on!
- What names did you say?
Asah! Asah! Let me think! Just let me think!
l can't think! l know them! Plesse, let me think!
l promise! Oh, plesse, plesse, no!
- What name did you say? l knew them!
- Come on!
- l can't think of any names! Not my hands! Oh,
dear God! - What are you waiting for?
Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ, no!
l promise! Oh, plesse, not my hands!
No! Jesus! Jesus! Oh, dear God!
- Plesse don't cut me!
- Come on!
Plesse don't cut!
The man who took my thumbs?
l found him eventually. l killed him.
The man who took my photograph? l found him too.
That took me a year. He's dead.
Another man showed the Germans...
a way to get their spies into Cairo.
l've been looking for him.
You can't get through there. lt's impossible.
l wss looking again at Bell's old maps.
lf we can find a way through the Wadi
wwwAweeeu caaamnn dddrriwrAeeeu sssmttrraaamighhtt innttoo CCCCaaamirroo.
- This whole spur is a real possibility.
- So on Thursday
you don't trust Bell's map, Bell wss a fool, Bell
couldn't draw a map.
But on Friday
he's suddenly infallible.
- And where are the expedition maps?
- ln my room.
Those maps belong to His Majesty's government.
They shouldn't be left lying around for any Tom,
Dick or Harry to have sight of.
What on earth's the matter with you?
Don't be so bloody naive! You know there's a war
This arrived this morning.
''By order of the British Government
all international expeditions to be aborted by
What do they care about our maps?
What do we find in the desert?
ln a war, if you own the desert
you own North Africa.
Own the desert? Ha!
Um, Madox? That place...
That place at the bsse of a woman's throat.
the hollow here.
Does it have an official name?
For God's sake, man
pull yourself together.
Nowhere is there any wild patriotic excitement
but everywhere there is a deep hatred of war.
The answer lies with one man
and the solid msss of the crowd surging
round his car...
aaamrreeeu aaam sssmyyyyrmmbbbool tthhhaaamtt tthheeeu BBBBrrittisssshhh yhpeeeuooyhhheeeu aaamrreeeu rmmoorreeeu
fffirrrmmhyyyn oofff oonneeeu rmminnddd ttoodddaaamyyyn...
than at any other time in our history.
There's a great to-do in San Down Bay
with rowing and sailing, and no end of sport for
every water baby.
l can't... l can't do this.
l can't do this. l can't do this any more.
l'd better go now.
Say goodbye here.
l'm not agreeing. Don't think l'm agreeing,
because l'm not.
Any minute now
he'll find out.
We'll barge into someone. lt'll kill him.
Don't go over it again
l just want you to know l'm...
l'm not missing you yet.
You will. You will.
l believe l'm rather late.
Good. We're all here.
A tosst to the lnternational Sand Club.
May it soon resurface.
The lnternational Sand Club.
The lnternational Sand Clubh misfits, buggers,
fsscists and fools.
God bless us, every one. Oops!
Mustn't say ''lnternational.'' Dirty
word, filthy word.
His Majesty, die Fuhrer
Sorry. What's your point?
And the people here don't want us.
You must be joking.
Egyptians are desperate to get rid of the
colonials. lsn't that right, Fouad?
Some of their best people getting down on their
hands and knees
begging to be spared the Knighthood.
lsn't that right? Hmm? lsn't that right,
What's my point? Oh, l've invented a new dance.
Anybody up for it? lt's called...
lt's called the Bosphorus Hug.
Or Bermann? You'll dance with me? Hmm?
Dag. Come on, Daggers.
Let's eat first. Sit down.
They're playing it far too slowly
but these were the words
actually, before they were cleaned up.
Might be a song for you
You either shut up or go home! You're
- Sit down!
- Absolutely right! Shut up! Shut up!
Sorry. Sorry. l'm so sorry.
l can't think what came over me.
Lsshings of apologies...
- Why were you holding his collar?
''What''? That boy. That little boy.
You were holding his collar. You were gripping
his collar. What for?
Hmm? ls he next?
Are you going to drag him into your little room?
Where is it?
ls this it?
- Don't do this.
- l've watched you.
l've watched you at garden parties
at the races.
- How can you... stand there?
How can you ever smile
ss if your life hadn't capsized?
You know why?
Dance with me.
Dance with me.
l want to touch you.
l want the things which are mine
which belong to me.
Do you think you're the only one who feels
ls that what you think?
Why don't you go?
- Get some sleep.
- Would you like me to?
Just wait. Don't look at anything yet.
Oh, thank you!
lf one night l didn't come to see you
what would you do?
l'd try not to expect you.
Yes, but if it got late and...
l hadn't shown up?
Then l'd think there must be a resson.
You wouldn't come to find me?
Hmm. That makes me never want to come here.
Then l'd tell myself
he spends all day searching.
ln the night
he wants to be found.
l do. l do want you to find me.
l do want to be found.
l wss looking for Lieutenant Singh.
- He's sleeping.
- Only we've got to go to work.
l'll tell him.
What is it? ls it a mine?
lt's a bomb by a viaduct.
- Does he have to go?
- Beg pardon?
What if you couldn't find him? Sergeant, not
today. Not this morning.
- What's happening? Am l needed?
- Afraid so, Sir.
Don't go. l'm frightened.
This is what l do.
l do this every day.
Serial number K-K-l-P...
K-K-l-P g, Sir!
l'll get the oxygen.
Hardy, what's happening?
CCCCaaamnn'tt sssmeeeeeeu, SSySirrk htt'ssss fffrroormm tthheeeu rrooaaamdddk
Tanks, Sir! l don't know what it's about!
- Stop 'em!
- Stop! Stop!
What is this
a bloody carnival?
The fuse hss snapped!
What's happened? ls it armed?
Hang on a second.
l'll be right with you.
Can you see the detonator, Sir?
You've got to cut it, Sir. That frost won't lsst.
Stop! Stop! Slow down!
Stop! Stop! Slow down!
- Go away!
- Yes, Sir.
- This is making me incredibly angry.
- l know, Sir.
Watch out! That'll burn!
CCCCaaamnn yyynoouuu fffAeeeeeeul 'eeeurmm???
CCCCuuutt itt, SSySirr.
- You've gotta cut it!
- l don't even know if this is the right wire.
Choose. Just choose a wire and cut it.
Get a blanket! Dade, get a blanket for Lieutenant!
Sarge! Sarge! lt's over, Sir! lt's over!
- Jerry's surrendered!
Hey, we're goin' home!
Kip, come and dance with us.
- Oh, come on.
Here comes the bomb squad!
Hey, let me handle it!
Bring 'em home!
Hardy! Hardy! Hardy!
What wss that?
l'm never going to forgive myself.
l'm never going to bloody forgive myself.
Sergeant Hardy, Sir. lt wss booby-trapped.
They wss runnin' up the Union Jack, Sir
up on that statue.
lt just went off, Sir.
Sergeant Hardy climbed up
Sir, just for a lark, Sir.
lt should've been me. lt wss my idea.
- Sir, you don't wanna look.
Who's that girl?
His fiancee, Sir.
- He kept it a bit dark.
Kip, it's me.
l'm so sorry about what happened.
Can l talk to you? Kip?
Kip, why won't you talk to me?
Oh, let me come in!
Hana tells me you're leaving.
There's going to be trials.
They want me to interpret.
Don't they know l'm allergic to courtrooms?
l come across the hospital convoy.
They're looking for this stuff.
This nurse, Mary
tells me about you and Hana...
hiding in some monsstery in...
What do you call it? Retreat?
How you came out of the desert...
and you were burned and you didn't
remember your name
but you knew the words to every song
that ever wss...
and you had one possessionh a copy of Herodotus.
And it wss filled...
with letters and cuttings.
Then l knew it wss you.
l saw you...
writing in that book at the embsssy in Cairo...
when l had thumbs and you had a face...
aaamnnddd aaam nnaaamrmmeeeu.
Before you went over to the Germans
before you found a way to get Rommel's spy across
the desert and inside British headquarters.
He took some pretty good photographs.
l saw mine in that torture room in Tobruk.
So, it made an impression.
l had to get back to the desert.
l'd made a promise.
The rest meant nothing to me.
What did you say?
That the rest... meant nothing to me.
There wss a result to what you did.
lt wssn't just another expedition. lt did this.
lf the British hadn't unearthed that photographer
thousands of people could have died.
Thousands of people did die.
Just different people.
- Yes, like Madox.
You know he shot himself
- When he found out you were a spy.
Madox thought l wss a spy? No.
No, l wss never a spy.
lt's ghsstly. lt's like a witch hunt.
Anybody remotely foreign is suddenly a spy.
- So watch out.
We didn't care about countries, did we?
None of that mattered, did it? lt wss something
finer than that.
Yes, it wss.
l'll leave the plane in Kufra ossis.
- So, if you need it...
Hard to know how long one's talking about.
We might all be back in a month or two.
l have to teach myself not to read too much into
lt comes of too long having to read so much into
hardly anything at all.
There is no God.
But l hope someone looks after you.
ln csse you're still wondering
this is called a suprssternal notch.
Come and visit us in Dorset when all this
nonsense is over.
You'll never come to Dorset.
So, you didn't know Madox shot himself.
And you didn't kill the Cliftons?
She... l can't.
maybe l did.
Maybe l did.
l wss packing up our bsse camp...
at the Cave of Swimmers.
Clifton had offered to fly down from Cairo to
He flew like a madman always
so l... l took no notice.
Dear God, Katharine
what are you doing here?
l can't get out. l can't move.
'' he said.
He knew. He must've known all the time.
He wss shouting, ''l love you, Katharine. l love
you so much.''
ls he badly hurt?
l have to get you out.
- Plesse don't move me.
- l have to get you out.
- lt hurts too much.
- l know, darling, l know. l'm sorry.
Why did you hate me?
Don't you know you drove everybody mad?
Shh. Don't talk.
You speak so many bloody languages...
and you never want to talk.
- You're wearing the thimble.
- Of course.
l always wear it. l've always worn it.
l've always loved you.
lt's so cold.
l know. l'm sorry.
l'll make a fire.
Did you get Geoffrey out of the plane?
- Yes, l did.
- Good. That's good. Thank you.
Listen to me
You've broken your ankle...
and l'm going to have to try and bind it.
l think you've also broken your wrist...
and maybe some ribs, which is why it's hurting
you to breathe.
l'm going to have to walk to El Taj.
Although, given all the traffic in the desert
l'm bound to bump into one army or another.
And then l'll come back and you'll be fine.
l wouldn't want to die here.
l don't want to die in the desert.
l'wrAeeeu aaamhwwwAwaaamyyyyssss hhhaaamddd aaam rraaamtthheeeurreeeulaaambbboorraaamteeeu
fffAuuunneeeurraaaml inn rmminnddd.
And l know exactly where l want to be buried.
ln our garden
where l grew up...
with a view of the sea.
So promise me you'll come back for me.
l'll come back for you.
l'll never leave you.
You have plenty of water...
and, um, food.
l'll open them for you.
A good read.
Don't wsste this.
Will you bury Geoffrey?
l know he's dead.
l'm sorry, Katharine.
l cut out my heart.
But in the morning it wss full again.
l stopped at noon and at twilight.
Three days there on foot
l told her
and three hours back by car.
Don't go anywhere.
l'll be back.
l'll be back.
Just walked in from the desert, Sir.
Dear golly, where have you come from then?
There's been an accident.
l need a doctor...
to come with me
and l need to borrow this car.
- And l need... l need morphine.
- May l see your papers, Sir?
lf l could just see some form of identification.
l'rmm ssssoorrrryyyn, l'rmm nnoott rmmaaamkkkinng sssmeeeunnsssmeeeu.
FoorrgiwrAeeeu rmmeeeu, l... l'rmm nnoott...
l've been walking and...
A woman is badly injured at the Gilf Kabir, the
Cave of Swimmers.
l'm a member of the Royal Geographical Society.
Now, if l could... just take your name.
Count Lsszlo de Almssy.
''Almssy.'' Would you mind spelling that for me?
- Look, listen to me, will you?
- What nationality would that be?
A woman is dying. My wife is dying.
l have been... walking...
l have been walking for three days.
l do not want to spell my name.
- l want you to give me this car.
- l understand you're agitated.
Perhaps if you'd like to sit down
l can radio back to HQ.
No. No, don't... Don't radio anybody!
Just give me the fucking car!
Stop the car, plesse. A woman is dying!
Listen, Fritz, if l have to listen to another
word from you
l'm going to give you a fucking good hiding!
Fritz? What are you talking about, Fritz?
Well, that's your name
Count Fuckin' Asshole Von Bismarck!
- What's that supposed to be, lrish?
You have to listen! Katharine!
- l also need to use the lavatory.
- You'll have to wait.
- lt's urgent.
Sarge, Jerry wants to use the lav.
Says it's urgent.
- Where are we going, plesse?
- Oh, up north to the cosst.
Benghszi. Soon be there.
You can get your boat back home then.
All right, go on then. Here, you take him.
l've been up and down this bloody train all day.
lt doesn't open.
she died because of me.
Because l loved her.
Because l had the wrong name.
- And you never got back to the cave?
- l did get back.
l kept my promise.
l wss sssisted by the Germans.
There wss a... a trade.
l had our expedition maps.
And after the British made me their enemy
l gave their enemy our maps.
So l got back to the desert...
and to Katharine...
in Madox's English plane...
with German gssoline.
When l arrived in ltaly
on my medical chart they wrote
lsn't that funny?
After all that
l became English.
You get to the morning and the poison
leaks away, doesn't it?
- l thought l would kill you.
- You can't kill me.
l died years ago.
No, l can't kill you now.
We've been posted. North of Florence.
l wss thinking yesterday...
The patient and Hardy.
They're everything that's good about England.
l couldn't even say what that wss.
We didn't exchange two personal words
and we've been together through
some terrible things.
Some terrible things.
He wss engaged to a girl in the village.
he never once...
He didn't ssk me if l could spin the ball at
cricket or kama sutra or...
l don't even know what l'm talking about.
You loved him.
l'm still here.
You'd better be.
Don't depend on it
That little bit of air in my lungs
each day it gets less and less.
Which is all right.
lt's quite all right.
l've been speaking to Caravaggio
my research sssistant.
He tells me there's a ghost in the cloisters.
l can join him.
- lt's the boy.
l'll always go back to that church.
Look at my paintings.
l'll always go back to that church.
So one day we'll meet.
Read to me
Read me to sleep.
''l'm waiting for you.
''How long is a day in the dark?
''Or a week?
''The fire is gone now...
aaamnnddd l'rmm hhhoorrrr... hhhoorrrribbbhyyyn ccoolddd.''
l really ought to drag myself outside
but then there'd be the sun.
l'm afraid l wsste the light...
on the paintings and on writing these words.
''We die rich with lovers and tribes
''tsstes we have swallowed
''bodies we have entered...
and swum up like rivers.''
Feeeaaamrrssss wwwAweeeu'wrAeeeu hhhiddddddeeeunn inn
like this wretched cave.
l want all this marked on my body.
We're the real countries.
Not the boundaries drawn on maps
the names of powerful men.
l know you'll come and carry me out into the
palace of winds.
That's all l've wanted
to walk in such a place with you
An Earth without maps.
''The lamp's gone out
''and l'm writing...
in the darkness.''
Hana, come on!
this is Gioia.
- Buon giorno.
- Buon giorno.
She'll take you ss far ss Florence.
l can get in back.