Voila! Finally, the Face/Off
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the John Woo movie with
John Travolta and Nicolas Cage. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Face/Off. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
- Have you eaten anything? - No.
Hey, look, what is this, a picnic? Come on. Let's go, man. We got ten minutes to go.
- Punch me out, man. - You got it.
Any word from the LAPD intelligence, if there is such a thing?
- Not yet, sir. - Of course not.
Because we're a covert anti-terrorism team that is so secret...
that when we snap our fingers nothin' happens!
Sheriff's department? Airport police?
Still waiting. But lnterpol insists he's in Tripoli.
Yeah, well, you-you trust-- You trust that billion-dollar satellite, okay?
l'll trust a ten-dollar snitch at this point.
- Sean, look-- - What?
Why don't you just give 'em a little break, okay?
We'll take a break when the case breaks, okay?
Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah
For the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth
Hallelu-- Hallelu-- Hallelujah
For the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth
Hallelu-- Hallelu-- Hallelu-- Hallelu-- Hallelujah
For the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth
- And he shall reign for ever and ever - l never really enjoyed The Messiah.
- ln fact, l think it's fucking boring. - And he shall reign for ever and ever
But your voice makes even a hack like Handel seem like a genius.
Victor-- When we-- When we put this thing to bed,
y-you can brand the Fourth Amendment on my butt.
- Thank you. - Sir, excuse me. Your wife is on line one.
Sean! A jet was just chartered. Anderson Airfield.
Guess who paid the bill in cash? Pollux Troy.
- Put one of our people on that plane. - Wait! We still got no sign of Castor!
Pollux doesn't fly without Big Brother. Now come on!
You're minutes late. The casing didn't fit, right?
Yeah, l told you goddam Dietrich would try to pawn off some...
cheap-shit North Korean plastic.
Casing fit like a condom.
You didn't deviate from the plan, did you, Pollux?
Well, how long did you want me to sit here twiddling my thumbs?
l paid for the jet. Save us some time.
That's what the boys are for, to hide our famous faces.
lf l didn't love you so damn much, l'd have to kill you, bro.
l hate it when you call me bro.
You guys are paid to protect him from everybody,
And stay away from downtown on the th. lt's gonna be a little, um, smoggy.
Okay, my passengers are here. l gotta go.
Let's go. Let's go. l'm bored. Let's go.
- Here you go. - Bravo.
Would you like anything else once we're airborne?
Oh, a peach.
Sit. Come here.
You know, l can, uh, eat a peach for hours.
Um, come here.
lf l were to send you flowers, where would l, uh--
No, wait. Let me rephrase.
lf l were to let you suck my tongue,
would you be grateful?
There's someone on the runway.
Get off of me!
- Archer. - FBl!
This is a very big gun. Fly the fuckin' plane!
Come on. That's it.
- Come on. Let's go! - Goddam it. Don't play chicken with a goddam jet!
- He's got Winters! Goddam it! - Damn it, Sean!
All units, pin 'em in!
Close in on 'em!
One of yours, Sean?
Out. Come on. Go, go!
Goddam it, Sean!
Take off now.
- Fly! - l can't!
All units, locked and ready. Follow Archer's lead.
What the fuck are you doing?
There's an engine out. We gotta stop.
- Move, move, move! - Get back! Back up!
- Cas! - Get over here.
Back him to me. Back him to me. He's mine!
Secure the hangar.
Give up, Castor. Your time's up.
Well, you better hit me, Sean, 'cause you only got one bullet left.
So do you.
Wow. We've got something in common.
We both know our guns.
What we don't have in common is that l don't care if l live, and you do.
Sean, that hurts.
You're not having any fun, are you, Sean?
Why don't you come with us? Try terrorism for hire?
- We'll blow some shit up. lt's more fun. - Shut the fuck up.
You watch your fuckin' mouth!
l'm about to unleash the biblical plague "Hell-A" deserves,
but l'll give this shithole a break if my brother and l walk.
- Bullshit. - Oh-Oh no, l-l see, l see. Y-You think l'm bluffing.
Maybe l am. But, then, maybe l'm not.
More importantly, what would you do with me locked up?
You'd drive your wife and kid crazy.
Say, how is your daughter, anyway? ls she ripening by now?
Your-- Your darling Janie, your little peach?
ls she ripe?
Policeman, don't shoot me.
l'm scared, Seanie!
Well, l think you better pull the trigger,
because l don't give a fuck!
Ready for the big ride, baby
Well, Sean, looks like Elvis done left the buildin'.
lt wasn't my fault. Why won't you ever be on my side?
l am always on your side, but you have to give me a chance--
She was suspended again. Some kid made a crack about her clothes--
- She started a fight. - That's right, Dad. Don't even ask me what happened.
Okay. What happened?
- Ah, l see. - Not like you would believe me anyway.
Jamie, look, it-it-it's not easy, okay?
l mean, loo-- You change the way you look every week.
And-And the way you act. Who are you supposed to be now?
l'm supposed to be me.
Not like you have a clue who l am anyway.
l have to work tonight.
l called to tell you, but l was on hold for ten minutes, and l couldn't wait any longer.
l got him, Eve.
l'll make it up to you and Jamie. l promise.
l'll put in for a desk job-- Well, l'll-- l'll do counselling, sit down, talk about Mike--
l'll do it, anything you want.
l just want you.
Well, good, 'cause that's what you're gonna get.
What is all this?
Sir, the ClA sent this over.
l didn't know they catered. Send it back.
How about, uh--
What about to Anderson, Montgomery,
Pincus, Gianelli, Winters--
Uh, he's gonna need a little surgery, but, uh,
he'll be okay.
- What's up? - Special ops. They want a word.
Aw, forget it. l don't have the time.
Better make time, Sean.
Recovered from the jet wreckage.
Found in Pollux Troy's briefcase.
Nerve gas and biological payload.
lt's enough to flatten a square mile.
Then depending on the prevailing winds,
the fallout'll be a tad worse than Gulf War syndrome.
A biblical-- A biblical plague to LA.
Where is he? Where is Pollux Troy?
Why draw the schematic if you're not gonna build the bomb?
What, is it now a crime in this country to exercise the mind?
- l'm interested in bomb-- - l won't say another word until l see my brother.
- l need about ten minutes alone with this guy. - Ah, give it a rest.
You got Castor. Just go home.
Look, we're not gonna evacuate the city on your hunch.
Look, l know Castor too well for this to be a hunch.
You know what, just-just run the goddam bureau any way you like.
l could put an agent in his cell. Maybe Pollux will let it slip.
Oh, come on. He's a paranoid sociopath.
The only person he'd talk to about that bomb is his brother, and he's dead.
There is one other possibility.
Oh, God. You're keeping him alive.
Relax, Archer. He's a turnip.
What if you could walk into Erewhon Prison...
and give Pollux a nice, big brotherly hug as Castor Troy?
l have no idea what you're talking about.
Let me try. Malcolm Walsh.
- l run the bio-cover unit for special ops. - l know who you are.
- But you don't know what l can do. - Uh--
Physical alteration. Augmentation.
Dr Walsh can alter the likeness, even the voice of a government witness.
l think you'll recognize this patient.
We had to build your friend Loomis a whole new ear from scratch.
What we're suggesting for you, Archer, isn't a permanent transplant like that,
just a temporary trade.
With the new anti-inflammatories, healing takes days, not weeks.
Your blood types won't match, but Pollux won't know that.
Height difference is negligible.
Skin pigment, eye pigment: both almost identical.
We'll use laser shears for the hairline, microplugs for body hair.
We'll do an abdominoplasti-- take care of those, uh, love handles.
But all that's the easy part. Here's the real science.
This is a state-of-the-art, morphogenetic template.
The inside is modeled on your skull,
the outside exactly like Troy's.
Then we fit his face on top. Not a replica, but the real thing.
Then we simply connect the muscles, tear ducts and nerve endings.
- So, you wanna take his face and mine-- - Borrow.
The procedure's completely reversible.
Y-You think that l want to do this?
- No. No. - There's no one else, Sean.
- No! - You have lived and breathed Castor Troy for years.
l'll get his gang to talk. That's what l do.
What if you can't? The bomb will blow, and Castor Troy will win.
Get out. Go ahead. Wipe your ass.
Damn, what the hell is that smell?
He shit in his pants. Where's Dietrich?
Hello, Sasha. When was the last time you saw Castor Troy?
- Who cares? He's dead. - Answer the question.
l know my rights. l don't have to answer shit.
You're right, but know this:
You're a convicted felon on probation for harbouring Castor Troy.
One phone call from me, and your son will end up in a foster home.
l understand why you would use such a threat.
But you try to take him away from me, l swear to you--
l haven't seen him for years.
This reeks of you. lt's got your signature all over it.
Maybe, but you ain't got nothin' on me and you know it.
Maybe so, but l can keep you within city limits,
or l can talk to your sister again.
She's right outside.
Only this time l'll be nice.
how's your dead son?
l don't know any-- Okay, okay, l heard somethin' about the th, but that's all l know.
Great. So we got a date. Now where the hell's the damn bomb?
Only Pollux Troy'll know that.
lt's your call, Sean.
- Does Lazarro know your plan? - No, this is a black bag operation.
Strictly off the books. You can't tell Lazarro, and you can't tell your wife.
What are you asking me to do? Okay, let's see.
You're asking me to-- to break the law,
risk my neck.
And you're asking me to put in the dark all the people...
that love me...
and trust me.
l'll do it.
Sorry l woke you.
l'm glad it's you that woke me.
And not a phone call telling me you won't be coming home.
But that's a fear l can finally let go of, huh?
Oh, it's all right, Sean. lt's okay.
l keep wanting to move this...
over here, you know?
lf it had only been an-- an inch to the left,
Mikey'd be alive.
And you wouldn't be.
Sean, things are gonna get better now that you're home.
The scar won't move, but it will heal if you let it.
Everything will be better now that he is forever out of our lives.
Eve, if l told you that l realize that--
that this thing won't fully end...
u-until l did one last thing--
Eve, something vital.
Okay-- l-- You're going back on assignment again.
This one last time.
Come on, Eve.
"l'm going anywhere," that's what you told me.
You don't need me to tell you what to do, Sean. You never have. So go.
But go now.
Sean, l changed my mind. This is a suicide mission.
Yeah, l know, l know.
You know, maybe this, uh-- this doctor-- if he-- if he--
lf he can do even half of what he says he can do,
maybe it'll work, l don't know.
l'd become Castor Troy, be in control.
That's the part that scares me.
Doctor, l have, uh, something--
l have this scar-- that-- that--
that if you can p-put this back after, after all this is over--
lt-- lt's important to me. lt's-- lt's like a reminder.
Tito, please, hold this for me. Please.
Okay. Let's go.
Oh, my God.
Hey, you okay? Come on. Talk to me, Sean.
Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
- Sean! Sean! - Fuck you!
Sean, come on. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down.
Sean! Sean! Archer!
You're Sean Archer.
Sean Archer. Sean Archer.
When this is over, l want you to take this face...
and burn it.
Hey. l still sound like me.
l've implanted a microchip on your larynx. lt's fantastic, but you'll have to be careful.
Pressure, sharp blow, even a violent sneeze could dislodge it.
- Just repeat what you hear. - Peach. l can eat a peach for hours.
Peach. l can eat a peach for hours.
There's a scratchy tickle.
Peach. l can eat a peach for hours.
Peach. l can eat a peach for hours.
- Once again. - Peach. l can eat a peach for hours.
- Perfect. - Now, Sean, six days until the th.
The clock's ticking, and so is the bomb.
You got two days to get Pollux to talk.
Either way, Miller comes in, pulls you out. You got me?
- What's the matter? - Face itches.
You all right? Come on. Let's go.
Archer's gonna be pissed when he comes back from his training op and finds out.
The guy is knee-deep in Georgia swamp.
You are now the property of Erewhon Prison,
a citizen of nowhere.
The Geneva Convention is void here.
Amnesty lnternational doesn't know we exist.
When l say your ass belongs to me,
l mean exactly that.
This entire prison's one big magnetic field.
The boots tell us where you are.
H-H-Hey, what's the matter, pal? Don't you remember the little people?
- Burke Hicks. - Oh, yeah.
believe Sean Archer busted you for stalkin' the UN Secretary General.
Oh, no. Archer framed me. l ain't had nothin' to do with that.
No-- Word was you got wasted.
You wanna see what wasted looks like, little man?
Out of the way. Central, there's a disturbance in the population.
- Go to lockdown. - Hold that lockdown.
Come on, you pussy!
You watch your fuckin' mouth.
You watch your fuckin' mouth!
'Cause l'm Castor Troy! Yeah!
l'm Castor Troy!
- Castor! Castor! - l'm Castor Troy!
Lock 'em down.
l stop the fights, not you.
That's two strikes for you, Dubov. One more, you know where you're goin'.
- When l get out of here-- - lf you get out of here--
l'm gonna have you fired.
Lars, it's me.
They took-- switched my-- wh--
F-- Some fucking--
But it's cool. We're gonna deal with it.
Oh, yes, we're gonna deal with it.
- What's this about? - Dr Walsh.
l was just, uh, enjoying some of your greatest hits here.
Oh-Oh, l hope you don't mind. l-l, uh, l partook...
of your groovy, uh-- your groovy painkillers.
You know, this is fabulous work. This is-- This is-- Oh, bravo.
Oh, God. This is excellent. Bravo.
- Bravo. - What do you want?
Take one goddam guess.
l wish they'd play some of those salmon spawning scenes again. l found them intensely erotic.
Fuckin' nature channel.
One more waterfall, l'm gonna foam at the mouth.
lt's like they're begging us to riot.
Not feeling very coordinated lately, are you?
Look, bro, you gotta help me.
l am so fried.
lf the psychos in here find out l'm misfiring, we're both gonna be dead meat.
Shock treatment? What's the matter with you?
Did they operate?
l was in a coma. Jesus, you're still so fuckin' paranoid.
Aren't they giving you your medication in here?
What was my medication?
Pollux, l hand-fed you those pills for years.
Vivex. l haven't forgotten that.
lt's just everything else. lt's--
senses, my reflexes, my memory.
lt's like a tab of bad Quantrex.
l don't even know why that fucking Yeti jumped me yesterday.
You had a sex sandwich with his wife and his sister the night he was sent here.
l guess that explains why he's so upset.
We're gonna blow up LA, bro. Ain't it cool?
Oh, right. Rub my nose in it, why don't you?
$ million design, and now those militia nutjobs get to keep their cash.
lt's so fucking unfair.
That bomb you built does deserve an audience.
lt's a work of art.
lt belongs in the Louvre.
Yes, it does. Oh, well.
l guess the LA Convention Centre'll have to do.
- What? - Thank you.
You are so fucking pathetic.
You got a visitor.
Ooh-wee, you good-lookin'. You're hot!
lt's like looking in a mirror, only not.
- Troy? - Now that is between us, okay?
- But you were-- - ln a coma?
Nothing like having your face cut off to disturb your sleep. Read the newspaper lately?
- You killed them? - Well, beats paying the bill, huh?
Come on. l mean, uh, if a face-lift costs five grand--
See anything you like?
l torched all the evidence that proves you're you, okay?
So, wow, looks like you're gonna be in here for the next hundred years!
Now, l have got to go.
l've got a government job to abuse and a lonely wife to fuck.
Oh, did l say that? Oh, l'm sorry. l didn't say that.
Make love to.
Oh, God, l miss that face.
- Sorry, Agent Archer. - No, don't you worry about it, Mr Walton.
Clearly he's, uh, had a traumatic childhood,
and, uh, thank you.
What's givin' you the will to live is lookin' for revenge
Look at this place. l'm in hell.
l may never get a hard-on again.
Don't lose your head
There we go.
Well, l suppose it was only a matter of time before you forgot where we lived.
Come on. Give me a break.
Every house in this block looks the same. Then l spotted you.
My one and only Eve.
So how was your vital assignment?
Which one was that?
How should l know, Sean?
Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh, yes. The, um-- the out of body experience.
Yes. That one.
- Where you goin'? - To the hospital.
- No. No. What's the matter? - Sean, come on.
- Oh, what? - Quit teasing me. Stop it. l'm still really hurt, okay?
- There are leftovers in the fridge. - No, no.
l want to stay hungry for you, my peach.
- Give me that tongue. - Sean, come on.
- What are you doing? What are you doing? - What does Evie want?
Eve, l hate to see you go, but l love to watch you leave.
"Date night fizzled again.
We haven't made love in two months."
What a loser.
Come here, sister
- Papa's in the swing - Got your E-mail, Karl.
- The poem you sent me was pretty kinky. - He ain't too hip
About that new-breed babe
- The plot thickens. - He ain't no drag
- Papa's got a brand new bag - Hang on a second.
- Come here, Mama - l'll have to call you back.
- And dig this crazy scene - You're not respecting my boundaries.
- l'm coming in, Janie. - He's not too fancy - Janie?
- But this line is pretty clean - l don't think you heard me, Jamie.
- He ain't no drag - You got something that l crave.
Papa's got a brand new bag
He's doin' the jerk He's doin' the fly
- Don't play him cheap 'cause you know he ain't shy - Clarissa left those here.
- Well, l won't tell Mom if you don't. - He's doin' the Monkey
- The Mashed Potato, Jump-back Jack - When did you start smoking?
- See you later, alligator - You'll be seeing a lot of changes around here.
- Papa's in the swing - Papa's got a brand new bag. Ow!
He ain't too hip now
- But l can dig that new breed - l can do the j-- do the s--
He's doin' the twist just like this
Bye, bro. Drop me a line sometime.
Gonna be kind of lonely with Pollux gone, huh?
Po-- Pollux what?
That big-shit cop, Archer, cut him a deal for turnin' state's evidence.
Your brother's been released.
l'm Sean Archer. There is a bomb at the LA Convention Centre.
l'm Sean Archer and-- Ow!
- Sir, we just wanted you to know-- - We're all really sorry about Tito.
Oh, hey, shit happens, you know?
So is our star witness talking?
Yeah. About what kind of mustard he likes on his tongue sandwiches.
lf that bomb is out there, we're almost out of time.
You made the deal with Pollux Troy. That isn't like you.
Well, when all else fails, fresh tactics.
Fresh? Well, let me tell you my fresh tactic.
From now on everything to do with this case goes through me, understood?
You're supposed to be snitching and making me look good.
- Look good? - Mm-hmm.
Seeing that face on you makes me afraid my tiramisu might come back up.
Well, think about me. This nose. This hair. This ridiculous chin.
Brother, we're going straight.
Oh, my goodness. Did you exchange brains as well?
The first thing l need you to confess to is the location of the bomb.
What about our $ million?
What about when l become an American hero for defusing the bomb? What's that worth?
Know that. Thank you. Next question.
- You're not the only one in the family with brains. - No.
- Although now l am the only one with the looks. - Touche.
This is an emergency evacuation.
This is an emergency evacuation.
Let's go. Police. Go! Go!
- Any ideas? - Yeah, run.
Sir, it's protected by a tamper switch, and it'll take us hours to bypass.
- Evacuate your team, Captain. - No, but, sir, we can't-- we can't disarm.
Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah
Ha-Ha. Ha, ha, ha.
Oh, baby. Oh--
That was the scene at the LA Convention Centre,
where an FBl agent became a city saviour.
Sean Archer disarmed a massive bomb just one second before it was set to blow.
The apparent targets were three Supreme Court justices scheduled to speak here today...
and anyone unlucky enough to be within a mile of the scene.
We asked Agent Archer if the FBl had any leads on who planted the device.
Well, that is, uh, classified information.
But if he-- lf he's listening, l wouldn't mind giving him a message:
lnterception. Now our side's got the ball. Sorry.
Hey, look, l-- l wanna thank you for, uh,
enduring all these years that l was an insufferable bore.
Sir, did you just have a surgical procedure?
- What do you mean? - Well, was the stick...
successfully removed from your ass?
Sir. The White House on one.
lt's the president. Oh, and your wife on line two.
- Well, you tell the president to hold. - Okay.
- l got it. - Sean, you scared the hell out of me.
- lt's date night. - Oh, my God.
Oh, big deal.
Okay, l said, uh, "Mr President,
"l want the authority...
"and l want the funds and the personnel...
to take over the whole gamut of global terrorism," right?
And he said, "The next name on my calling list is Lazarro,
and l'm telling him that Sean Archer writes his own ticket," okay?
What's the matter?
l-- l don't know, Sean. You just--
You just seem so different. l mean, what is th-- all this about?
What-- This intimate candlelight dinner? Huh?
And l'm supposed to forget all the promises 'cause you're going back into the fray?
lf the top cop in this country can't come home...
every night to his wife, then the hell with the country.
Because the only place l'm going is upstairs with you.
Exercise. One hour.
How can l get out of here?
How can l get these boots off?
They only take 'em off in the clinic.
Right before they fry your skull.
- l'm out of cigarettes. - Get back in line, Troy.
l said l'm out of cigarettes.
Kick his ass!
Hey, what the hell! That's not right!
l need a light! l need a light!
- Anybody got a light? - All right!
Anybody got a light? Got a light?
You better bring the bastard down before he chokes himself to death.
Well, happy day, it's Castor Troy.
Wait. H-Hold it, hold it. Can l, uh-- Can l have a light?
You know, those things'll kill you.
Get his boots, Walton.
Dubov, l didn't touch your wife.
And l didn't touch your sister.
But l know your wife loves you, is waiting for you.
So let's get out of here.
You're more brain-dead than Dubov.
- Out. - Out.
- Get him! - Grab his arms!
Shots have been fired. We have men down in C- .
- l got 'em. - Throw 'em down!
Now, give me your hand.
You can do it.
- What are you doing? - Uh, l'm sorry.
- Have a nice day. - Have a nice day?
What is with you? ls this your way of just not dealing with this morning?
Yeah. Yeah, maybe.
l know it's hard for you, but it's hard for me too, and we still have to go.
Happy birthday, Mikey.
He took our baby, Sean. He took our little boy.
You turned your beeper off.
Yes, well-- my son's birthday.
Well, uh, here's some poetic justice, sir.
- Castor Troy is dead. - He got killed trying to escape from Erewhon.
Where's his body? l-l wanna see his body.
- lt hasn't been recovered yet. - lt hasn't been recovered yet?
Get the LAPD on this!
Even if he is alive, Castor isn't stupid enough to come back to the city.
You must-- You must trust me. He's already here.
County General. How may l direct your call?
Dr Archer, please. lt's an emergency.
- May l say who's calling? - Her husband.
Dr Archer, call on line three.
l know this sounds crazy, but-- Shit!
- Sean? - Eve, listen carefully.
The man you think is your husband isn't.
- Who is this? - Please, just listen.
Take Jamie. Go to your mother's. Don't tell him where you're going, just go.
Uh, whoever you are, don't call again.
- Operations. - l need Victor Lazarro immediately.
- Regarding? - l have information about Castor Troy.
l'll transfer you, sir.
Sean Archer here. Who's calling?
Well, if you're Sean Archer, l guess l'm Castor Troy.
This escaped convict is considered extremely dangerous.
lf you have any information concerning the whereabouts of Castor Troy--
You goddam right. Yeah!
This shit's so good, gonna make your dick hard.
Huh? Cheryl? Cheryl's a liar.
So you're still selling hops and drugs to Cheryl and Phil Roy.
Castor fucking Troy!
Aw, man. You scared me, man!
All right. All right.
You know, l never should've sold you those bombs. lt's my curse. l can't say no to a friend.
- You can't say no to money. - Yeah, that's my other curse.
- You drug dealer. - What's the matter?
- What? - You look like you just fucked your mother. Come on.
Let's go relax, huh?
- Hey, Castor. - Oh, Castor Troy!
l don't believe this. Castor Troy!
What are you doing?
Hey, baby. Remember me? l'm your favourite peach.
Oh, l thought l was your favourite.
- You make me crazy - Look at this guy.
You know, you look pretty good for a dead guy.
- Mescal. - Two? - Yeah.
So what do you wanna do?
You wanna get out of the country?
l'm not going anywhere. l'm gonna get Sean Archer.
With your help.
Welcome home, baby.
How we supposed to do that?
He's vulnerable at home.
No. l mean, this is Sean Archer we're talkin' about.
- This isn't just some Boy Scout. - Fitch.
No. Besides, his house is probably alarmed up the wazoo.
The code is - - .
That's his dead son's birthday.
Don't it just break your heart?
- That's brilliant. - That's sick.
How is it that you know so much about Sean Archer?
Uh-- l, uh--
sleep with his wife.
This is gra-- This is great.
So, once we kidnap supercop, then what?
l'd like to take his-- his face--
Now, if you'll excuse me,
l have to use the little boy's wee-wee room.
You wanna take his face--
Yes. His face off.
lt's coming off.
No more drugs for that man.
l'm not me.
Not me. Me.
l thought you were dead.
l'm not dead. l'm me.
No, no, no. Look. What l-- What l'm trying to tell you, brother,
Pollux, is once we get the full protection and resources...
of the government to help us get rid of our rivals, right?
Then we'll be set.
Then maybe, just maybe, l'll get my frickin' face back.
Then l'll just have one jag-off to take care of.
- Hey, where ya goin'? Where ya goin'? - Karl, stop it.
- Maybe two. Hold on. - Karl, stop it!
- Calm down, would ya? Calm down. - Karl!
Karl, my dad's home! Let go!
- Happy hunting. l'll catch ya later. - Stop it!
Yeah, like Mr Fuckin' lnvisible gives a shit about you anyway. So fuckin' hold still.
- Okay, say you're sorry. - l'm sorry.
- l didn't hear it. - l'm sorry!
- Mean it. - l'm so sorry!
Dress up like Halloween and ghouls will try to get in your pants.
Typical, Dad. Some guy tries to rape me, and l'm to blame?
This isn't you.
Now you haven't been the same since Mike died.
Hiding behind someone else's face.
Hoping you wouldn't feel the pain.
While we're talking, do you have protection?
What? You mean like condoms?
Next time, let Karl take his pants down.
Slip this in his thigh, twist it so the wound won't close.
Now go on. Get outta here.
l am the king.
Jesus, Cas! lt's me!
Come on. lt's me. Jesus.
- Don't you wanna talk? - The only talk l ever heard from you is...
"Suck my tongue," "l love your ass," and "See ya,"
and "Take the filthy shit off," "Put this on and get outta here."
- No, l'm not goin' anywhere. - Oh, really?
What do you-- What do you expect me, after all this time--
Just to-- Just to jump on you?
- That's not what l-- - ls that what you expect?
- That's not what l meant. - What did you mean?
- l meant-- - Huh? ls this what you meant?
That? That? How about this? ls that good? Huh?
- Sean Archer. - Bro.
Well, l figured he might drop in on some of our old friends.
And if my eyes don't deceive, l think this fellow's beginning to enjoy being you.
Look, look, look. Okay. L-Look, Sasha.
What l meant is, uh, that l'm not going anywhere...
until your brother helps me, uh, first.
Cas. lf the FBl finds out that you were here,
l'll lose my son.
Please, Cas, you just gotta go.
l've said and done some things that have made your life harder.
- l know. - How would you?
When you left, you never looked back.
l-- l just know.
Look, Sasha, l'm not the same person you remember.
And for what it's worth, l'm sorry.
- They're nice-looking clothes. - Yeah, of course. They're yours.
Look, l know, l--
just like 'em.
That's a nice-lookin' kid too.
Yeah. Of course.
He's yours too.
- How old is he? - Five.
Nobody knows he's yours. l was...
scared someone would try to hurt him just to hurt you.
Don't want you playing with those things. They are very, very dangerous.
Okay? Now come on, sweetie.
l want you to meet your father.
Look at him. lt's okay. Say hi.
- Michael. Michael? - Cas.
- Cas. Cas, you're scaring him. - Michael?
Let him go.
What is the matter with you?
Okay, Red Team! Red Team, break off!
How'd you get to be so brave? How'd you get to be so brave?
- Come out now with your hands up! - Put these on.
Okay. That's a good idea, baby. Listen to your music.
- Come on. - Come out now!
- Go! Go! Go! - We have a warrant for your arrest!
l hate cops.
Come on, kid.
- Move! Move! - Go left, left! First door to the right!
Go! Go! Go!
Someday l'll wish upon a star
- And wake up-- - Let's get outta here! Come on.
Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
Damn, my place is gettin' fucked up.
Cas! Cas, give me the boy!
Really? Really? Come on! Shit!
Come on, come on! Let's go! Go, go, go!
Cas, be careful with him!
- Don't be scared, All right? All right? - Somewhere
Over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams
That you dared to dream
Really do come true
Someday l'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds
- Are far behind - Adam!
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh, why
Get him out back! Go, go, go!
Put the boy down.
Honey, sweetie, don't touch that.
lt isn't nice!
l don't ever wanna see you do that.
They're like cockroaches!
Hey. Drop it.
Told him not to fuck with me.
Take the boy and get outta here.
- Are you all right? - Go!
We had some good times, didn't we?
l don't know what l hate wearing worse:
your face or your body.
l mean, l enjoy boning your wife,
but, uh, well, let's face it.
We both like it better the other way, yes?
So why don't we just trade back.
You can't give back what you've taken from me.
Oh, well. Plan "B."
Let's just kill each other.
Sir, why are you so upset?
lt's just Pollux Troy.
Sir, look. You're on the cover of Time.
Listen. "ln a single week, Agent Sean Archer...
"has ordered a stunning series of blitzkrieg-style raids...
"on the hideouts, staging grounds and safe houses of our nation's assassins.
Sean. Look we're friends, so l'm gonna tell you face to face.
l don't give a damn if you are Time's Man of the Year.
After last night's bloodbath, l'm terminatin' your war on terrorists.
ls that, uh, because l'm getting all the kudos and you're not?
Jesus Christ. l don't know where you're gettin' your intelligence.
lt's not from field agents. Sometimes l think you know too much.
Washington's starting to worry.
Justice wants a hearing. Shoot.
They're concerned about the constitutionality of your gestapo tactics!
And frankly, so am l! l'm--
Uh, okay, Victor,
l'll give the, uh, taxpayers a break.
l have something, uh, l want to confess.
And l don't think you're gonna like it.
l am Castor Troy.
- Kimmy. Kim? - Yes, sir.
Call the paramedics. Victor Lazarro's had a heart attack.
- Oh, God. Right away. - Thank you.
No. Honey, please, please don't scream.
Don't scream. l'm not gonna hurt you.
Okay, just don't, don't, don't, don't.
Just don't-- don't look at my face.
And the voice. Don't listen.
- Just-- - l know who you are! You killed our son!
l did not kill our son.
The last time l saw you...
was in this room.
We had a fight when l said l had to go away again.
And l spent the night in Mike's old bed.
l'm tired, Eve.
The assignment was to enter a federal prison as Castor Troy.
lt's just fucking insane.
And it's-- A special ops surgeon, uh, gave me, uh,
Then, uh-- And then, somehow, Castor came out of his, uh,
his-his coma, and he killed everybody...
who knew about the mission.
But, but not before transforming into me.
l know you don't believe a word l'm saying. Well, here's proof, Doctor.
Your husband, me, my, Sean's blood type is O-negative.
Castor's is AB.
And l love you.
Get some backup.
What a day.
You look tense.
l know l've been acting different lately. Strange.
l've got a confession to make, Eve.
You're not gonna like it.
Oh, Eve. l feel-- l feel so close to you.
l read your diary. l know l shouldn't have. l'm ashamed.
But l did.
l just wanna be the man that you deserve--
Victor Lazarro died today. He had a heart seizure.
My mentor, gone.
First Tito, then Victor. So what?
l hope this doesn't mean l'm losing you.
Of course not.
You're the only family l've got.
- Oh, God. - l was hoping you'd come here.
Thank you for trusting me.
Right now, l don't trust anyone.
Eve, wh-where'd you get that gun?
l took it from my fake husband.
Put it down. You know l'm Sean.
Do l? Maybe Sean's already dead, huh?
l'm moving very slowly.
l was thinking the other day, l--
l once took a date out...
for surf and turf,
not knowing she was a vegetarian.
So she ate bread.
And, uh, and broke her tooth on a rye seed.
And we, we drove around all night,
uh, looking for a-- for a all-night dentist.
And, and he, uh-- He was so drunk,
he fixed the wrong tooth.
And it-- When l finally brought her home--
Even though it must have hurt like hell,
you, you, you kissed me.
You know we've been living together as man and wife for a week.
l know. Eve. Eve.
l put you in that position and, and--
l-l-l can never make it up to you.
Well, you're damn well gonna try.
Let me take a look at that wound before you bleed to death.
With Lazarro out of the way,
Castor's the new acting director of the Bureau.
- He's untouchable. - Not tomorrow.
Tomorrow he'll be at Victor's service.
That will be the day.
l want you and Jamie away from there. Give him a good excuse.
l can cover for Jamie,
but if l'm not coming he's gonna know that something's up.
And besides, l'm the only one who can try and explain the truth.
Excuse me, Mr Archer. May l help you?
Dr Levine to X Ray.
Sean, what are you doing here?
Sorry, darling, it--
l just get so, so jealous, l--
l mean, wh-wh-what is a guy to think when his, uh,
his wife runs off in the middle of the night?
That l'm a doctor that's on call, so please let me get back to work, okay?
Lies, distrust, mixed messages.
This is turning into a real marriage.
l took him over to my cousin's until this whole thing blows over.
- Where's Jamie? - That's what l'd like to know.
She stole $ from my purse and took off.
- So what's the next move? - This isn't your fight.
Oh, come on. You're surprised? Our daughter won't even visit Michael's grave.
You think she gives a damn about your boss?
He killed my brother. l'm not gonna let him take you too.
Whatever happens, l promise...
Sean Archer is off your back for good.
My dear friends, we are here to celebrate the life of Victor Lazarro.
Somebody back there asked me to give this to you.
ln peace now, let us take our brother Victor...
to his place of rest.
lsn't this religious?
Ah, yes. The eternal battle between good and evil,
saint and sinner.
But you're still not having any fun!
And guess what. Your daughter's on the way.
History repeats itself.
This is between us. Leave them out of it.
No, you should've left them out of it.
Your son was an accident. l wanted to kill you.
But you took it so personally.
Why didn't you just kill yourself or let it go?
- No father could. - No brother could either.
Neither could a sister.
Sasha, what the fuck are you doing here?
Gee, Archer, l guess l'm crashing.
- You okay, baby? - Yeah. Thanks.
l'm Castor. That's Archer.
And l'm bored.
- Put the fucking gun down. - Why don't you put your guns down?
What a predicament!
Take care of our boy.
You love him so much.
Don't let him grow up to be like us, promise?
- Yeah. - Say yeah.
Hello, Wanda? Wanda, this is Eve Archer.
l have something crazy to tell you.
lt's a capital crime to try to kill the next big boss of the FBl, yes?
- Yes. - Ah, yes.
- The penalty-- - What?
The penalty is death!
Die. Please, God, die.
Good girl, Jamie! Shoot him!
Honey, don't listen to him, honey! He's not your father! Hear my voice. l'm your father!
Use your eyes, Jamie. Shoot him!
Don't listen to him! Don't shoot! Just, just--
This scumbag-- This scumbag shot your brother, Jamie! Kill him!
No daughter of mine would shoot so wide.
Dad, put the gun down. Put it down.
Dad, put it down.
Now we're gonna find out what's in Papa's bag. Peaches.
Say goodbye to Papa.
Jamie! Jamie! Jamie, are you all right? Oh, my God.
Sir, are you okay?
Please, someone please tell me what planet l'm on?
Stop! This is the police!
Stop immediately or we'll be forced to open fire!
You're right, Sean. l've misbehaved.
l need to be punished.
But remember, every time...
you look in the mirror, you'll see my face.
Ready for the big ride
Off of Pico in the middle of the street.
You okay, Archer?
- What did you call me? - He called you Archer, sir.
Sean, they're bringing in their top surgical team from DC. You're going to be okay.
When you wake up, everything will be restored...
just the way it was.
My scar. The one near my heart.
This old bullet wound.
- l won't need it any more. - Okay.
l'm sorry l shot you.
l've got something l have to ask both of you.
This is, um, Adam.
And he needs a place to live.
Hi. My name's Jamie.
Why don't you show Adam his new room?