Voila! Finally, the Fandango
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Kevin Costner movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Fandango. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Gardner, he's coming.
But not quite.
-He's coming. He's coming.
-More ice! More ice!
-Okay. He's coming.
ls this the appropriate
wedding color, son? Black?
Well, l guess when a Groover marries,
the world mourns.
Line up. Hey, hey! Line up, okay?
All right, all right.
Turn the music down.
Turn the music down. Come on.
Oh, God. Come on.
Are you ready? Okay, here they come.
Three, two, one.
-We didn't mean to surprise you.
We thought we'd see
where you've been living...
-...for the past four years.
-l'm glad you did.
You remember Dorman.
My roommate Dorman?
Yes, aren't you the young man
studying to be a--?
Minister, that's what l thought.
And this is Lester Griffin,
the fifth Groover.
He just graduated
summa cum laude in accounting.
Well, l.... l guess we'll see you
after boot camp...
Well, we'll see you, son.
-Good. l hate that part.
-That was my parents.
So they're from New Jersey, Phil.
They've seen butts before.
There he is!
Sneaking in the back door!
Who's getting married, boy?
Where have you been? l promised Debbie
l'd have you in Dallas tomorrow night.
You haven't packed. You're not dressed.
The wedding's off.
Shut up! Damn it.
Deb and l ain't getting married.
l'm calling it off.
Waggener, that's great!
Oh, son, when did you come
to your senses?
When l got this.
l've been drafted, Gardner.
The Groovers are saved!
Hey. This has his orders on it.
We got another one, colonel.
Mine says the same thing,
...where it goes, ''A review
of your -S student deferred status...
...indicates three years without
achieving academic advancement.
Therefore, you are hereby ordered
This mean l get my fondue set back?
Philip, give me your keys.
We're going somewhere.
-We're going. Us.
The Groovers. Now.
What about your car?
You're drinking it. Come on. Dorman.
-Dorman, get Lester.
You sold your car to throw a party?
But you didn't even graduate.
-What is this?
-A farewell fandango for the Groovers!
Turn out the lights when you leave.
lnnocent critters squashed
on the highway of life!
Tough it out, son. Tough it out.
Well, now, what do you
boys want for breakfast?
Guess y'all know what this means,
We got to dig up Dom.
Open up, Philip.
You're not taking my car to Mexico.
Well, Dom's not in Mexico, son.
He's on the border.
l know where he is.
Do you mean to tell me that you'd let Dom
stay buried out there for a century...
...as a damn fossil
for some post-historic nerd to find?
No. l mean to tell you that we're not
driving miles in my car...
-...to go down there and dig him up.
-But you swore, son. We all did.
Took a holy Groover oath.
Come one, Phil, we're dog meat.
This could be our last chance.
He's right, Philip. We're facing combat
and questionable life spans.
lt's not like we're going after some
nameless piece of trash alongside the road.
No, sir. We're going after Dom, Philip.
A dear bud we laid to rest
the very night the Groovers were born...
...is all l'm talking about.
Bonds and beers and the five of us, Philip.
Driving down that long, lonesome highway.
l'm talking about us reliving
the greatest chapter in Groover history.
Don't that mean something to you?
Look, we had our fling,
and it was fun, okay?
But we gotta get to Dallas
by tomorrow night for his wedding.
Read my lips, Philip, okay?
He's not getting married.
He didn't back out yet.
What'd she say?
Nothing. She wasn't home.
She was at a kitchen shower,
so l told her dad.
You called off your wedding
after talking to her dad?
Well, now that we got that out of the way,
can we get going?
-Gardner, we gotta help him.
...l'm just as concerned about this
as you are.
l mean, l spent $ for this tux.
But it's done, son.
lt wasn't meant to be.
And Dom is waiting.
Come on! Watch out!
We have to report
to boot camp on Monday night.
-We'll be back tomorrow night.
-We were gone a week the first time.
Flukes, Philip. Groovers got to expect
that kind of stuff every once in a while.
Hey! How about margaritas
at Chata Ortega's?
We can see the donkey lady.
We could get diseases.
l swear, Philip, l don't know
why we bring you along sometimes.
My car, my money.
Next time we stop,
maybe l can get out and call Deb.
Just to sort of tell her in person.
She's been told, Waggener.
Just let it ride, son.
Give it a few weeks.
Then write her.
You ever have any regrets?
l never been serious about a woman
in my life, son.
You know that.
That's dirt, son.
There's no highway through here.
Dotted line means dirt.
l thought it meant shortcut.
Do you know what E means?
Do you know what E means?
lt means empty, douche bag.
Like your head!
Well, l guess l'm just not officer material.
l guess not.
Where are we?
The ass of nowhere.
Give Lester a beer.
-He doesn't need another beer.
-The boy's facing life as an accountant.
He needs something.
l can't believe l let you
talk me into this. This is stupid!
lt's the stuff legends are made of, son.
What time's the wedding?
Texas is really ugly, you know that?
l mean, what could anyone
possibly like about this state?
l like the way it's shaped.
lt's wild, Philip.
Always has been, always will be.
Just like us.
Can you imagine coming all the way
out here just to get killed?
You having second thoughts?
Yeah, l believe l burned all my bridges.
Well, buck up, bud, because l think
you did the right thing.
That's what her father said on the phone.
''You're doing the right thing, Kenneth.
l'm behind you all the way.''
Always been in front of me till then.
Waggener, she's history, all right?
The only way to get over a woman,
unfortunately, is get yourself another one.
So when Dom's dug up
and our duty's done...
...you and me, we're gonna slide
into Chata Ortega's...
...and destroy a few brain cells
and hunt up some horn-dog women--
The guy's rich.
He could have made some calls.
Why should he?
lt's your duty.
Well, l'm proud to be going.
Aren't we all?
That's a train, boys!
You! Off the car!
Get off my car.
-Come on. We can hop it.
Nothing's come down that road
for two hours.
-What about my car?
-We'll pick it up on the way back.
Forget it. l know you.
Look, Philip, this might be
the only ride we get.
We're not leaving my car,
and that's final.
Gardner, talk to me.
Talk to me.
l may have vapor lock on my brain...
...but l just need to know,
are you crazy?
Are you out of your mind?
lt'll work, Philip.
You think this is a wise move?
Wait. l mean, it's a train.
Think! Think! Don't be big and stupid.
Come on. Gardner, Gardner,
show some sense.
Oh, great. Great.
Get the wheels straight.
That's a felony, you know that?
We're all gonna die!
Didn't you hear me?
l said we're facing imminent death.
lt'll be just like water-skiing, Philip.
He did it. Run, son.
l don't believe this!
lt'll work, Philip.
Do you know how many pizzas
l had to make to buy this car?
How are we gonna stop?
First phone we get to, l'm calling the police.
Philip, can't let a little thing like this
stop the damn pilgrimage.
Sorry. We're getting off here.
That car's afflicted.
No, it just needs a little alignment hygiene.
Well, l hope y'all ain't in no hurry.
l can't fix it till in the morning.
Because it's Saturday night.
My mechanic's gone honky-tonking.
My tools is in his truck.
A night in Marfa ain't so bad.
Motel's over there.
lf you're looking for cheaper bunks...
...there's a roadside park
just up the highway.
Out by the old movie set
where they shot Giant.
James Dean was here?
Listen, front-end alignment
will run you . .
Want me to do anything about that?
Yeah, if it's free.
l'll get you out of here
early as l can tomorrow.
Better hurry if you want supper.
Dairy Queen closes at .
-May l take your order, please?
-Give me three chili dogs and a malt.
This is what we've been waiting for.
-lt's not the same, Gardner.
Well, that never stopped us before.
We were jailbait before.
They're airheads, Gardner.
Bimbos. Little girls with little brains.
But we're not trying to expand their
minds, so don't get picky on me.
And so then, right after she had the baby...
...they had to remove her utopian tubes.
No. No. That's ''fallopian,'' darling.
Fallopian? Those are books
of the Bible, silly.
First and Second Fallopians.
So, what do you all want to do now?
-Are you ?
-l know, let's shoot fireworks.
That is so neat.
-Would y'all like to do that, huh?
-Only if it's neat.
We got tons of bottle rockets
left over from Christmas.
We just gonna pull off the road or what?
No, l think we'll go to my daddy's place.
Just what exactly
does your daddy do, Lorna, darling?
He's in the funeral business.
This is his cemetery.
Come on, y'all.
Come on. You'll get used to it.
Can't we just find
a playground or something?
This has been my playground
ever since l can remember.
Lots of places to hide.
-l ain't gonna ask what we're hiding from.
-From each other.
No fun shooting them off in the air.
-You gotta have moving targets.
-Ain't that just a tad dangerous?
No. lt's so neat.
-We'll choose up sides.
-Okay. Me and Waggener and Phil.
Y'all take the Garden of the Good
Shepherd and the Garden of Bliss.
We'll count to
then we'll come after you.
No aiming for the face. And be real careful.
These could go off
and hurt somebody.
l'm okay. Come on. God!
Y'all watch out for those new graves.
They're not packed down yet.
These stiffs got no manners at all.
l'm not sure l can do it, Gardner.
l'm not sure l can go.
lt's not quite what l expected.
They shot Giant here?
Can you imagine?
James Dean walking around
right out here.
Pass me the classifieds there,
would you, bud?
All that ink's bound to be warm.
Great. This is the worst.
This is the worst ever.
Now, if it would just rain....
See that star?
Off that peak?
That was our star.
Me and Deb.
To talk to when we were apart.
l wonder if the night's
like this in Nam.
You'll find out soon enough.
Looking forward to it,
ain't you, Philip?
To serving my country?
Yeah. l am.
There are other countries,
You are the most irresponsible person
l have ever met.
Well, somebody had to be.
Snake. lt's in my pants.
Don't rile him up, Philip.
Damn. lt's a snake.
-What kind is it?
-lt's a rattler.
lt's moving! lt's moving.
-lt felt like a snake.
-No, no. lt felt like a rattler.
God, l was having a nightmare.
Well, get used to them.
Twenty, , and .
And for the go juice.
And much obliged for that body job.
That is first-rate work.
The other way, bud. Remember,
it's lefty loosey, righty tighty.
Another hundred miles
and we're there, boys.
-How about some breakfast?
-Where'd you get the money?
-Birthday present from the girls.
-lt's not your birthday.
-Well, it's gonna be.
-You stole that money.
Just like you stole my car.
What is your problem?
Here we are,
embarked on what is probably...
...the greatest epic adventure of all time,
Nobody cares about
epic adventures anymore.
We came out here to try
and forget some things. All right?
So why won't you let us?
There's nothing wrong
with going nowhere, son.
-lt's a privilege of youth.
-Well, we're not youths anymore, Peter Pan.
You're only once.
Like you're only a virgin once,
and then it's over.
Like the Groovers.
l sort of like to think of us
as an institution.
You know, someday, Philip,
when you're old....
Hey, where you going?
l'm not even rinsed off.
-No more quarters.
l think you're trash, Gardner.
l think you're slime.
Selfish, worthless, irresponsible slime.
What do you think about that?!
l think freedom of expression's
a wonderful thing.
Turn my car around now!
You're a bullshit artist.
That's all you'll ever be...
...because when life gets too complicated,
you just take off, run away.
Well, make the most of this one, asshole.
Because it's the last time
you push me around.
Find some other jerk
and go chasing after rainbows and--
Will you shut up? Just shut up!
God, l'm sick of your mouth.
Nobody made you come,
you pompous, little whiner.
Just like nobody made you room with us
for four years. You wanted to.
But it's always bitch, bitch, bitch.
About Dom or dinner or whatever.
That's all you're good at.
l'm sick of hearing it.
You're a pain in the ass
who doesn't like anything.
So either kill yourself and do us all a favor,
or shut the hell up!
l guess l should have expected as much...
...from a guy who chickens out
on his own wedding.
lt wasn't the draft.
lt wasn't her parents.
You just got scared and ran off like him.
And now you're down here
pretending all this crap is still fun.
Afraid to admit she was the best thing
that ever happened to you...
...because deep down inside,
you know you blew it.
You little wimp, l had to!
Don't tell me--
-Take the wheel.
That's it, Philip.
Now, that's it. You win.
We're going home.
Thanks to you,
Dom don't mean shit.
Dom never meant shit.
You know, Philip, you talk tough.
You act tough.
You march a bunch of weenies
around a field...
...but the fact of the matter is, son,
you are an ROTC colonel...
...because that's all you ever could be.
And now look at you.
Anxious to get yourself martyred...
gonna love you for it.
You're pathetic, Philip.
l don't know how else to say it.
You're just pathetic.
And that is the only reason any of us
ever had anything to do with you.
We never really liked you, son.
We just felt sorry for you.
l'm-- l'm not a weenie.
Dorman, turn us around.
We got to get this little weenie
back to his stupid little, worthless war.
Now you listen to me!
Not everyone gets a college education
just handed to them.
That uniform is my ticket
to some kind of a future.
l'm giving my notice right now.
l'll take on anybody, anything,
l'd have done it if we had the money.
You looking for something?
Yes, l am.
l'm looking for the head jumping bean.
Some guys are looking for you.
Quite a day for jumping, isn't it?
Gardner Barnes. Your name, sir?
-Well, it's nice to meet you, Truman.
Your wife tells me you're in charge here.
Oh, no. She ain't my wife.
Trelis is just my old lady, you know?
Yeah. Truman, you ever heard
of the Milwaukee Daily Moon?
We're on the travel and entertainment
staff of that illustrious newspaper...
...and we're in the midst
of a research tour.
Our action-adventure editor, Mr. Hicks,
wants to take a jump course today...
...so he can accurately depict the delights
of skydiving in his column.
Hey, far out.
He wants to do that today?
-He wants to do it right now.
-This will be in a paper?
We're talking big dollars. Big dollars.
ln fact, you think any of this land
could be available for resort development?
-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lot of potential. Lot of potential.
Since this series will be a free godsend
to the local economy...
...we were hoping maybe that you could
reciprocate a little on the lesson.
-On the lesson.
-No problem. We'll work something out.
Not gonna be a problem?
Let's get to it.
-Okay, Mr. Barnes.
-Out you go!
Okay, field marshal, let's go.
-He's scared of heights, remember?
-Well, most weenies are.
-Hey, pretty excited, isn't he?
-The man absolutely thrives on danger.
We need to counsel with him
about his editorial approach...
...so you go inside, get things strung up.
We'll be in right after you, okay?
Let him up, Dorman.
Pretty mean, aren't you, Phil?
Pretty mean character.
Well, prove it.
All right, l will.
-On one condition.
-Anything you say.
No, you've got to swear it,
in case l'm not here.
-Consider it sworn.
lf l do this...
...you got to swear
you won't dodge the draft.
-l don't know what you're talking about.
-You gotta swear...
...you won't skip off to Mexico with him!
l know you better than you think.
-Let's do it.
-Hey, real gung ho, huh?
-He can't wait to get started.
-Come on in, sign a release, and we'll go.
-Saying you won't sue me if you get killed.
Okay, you'll be coming out here and doing
a stable fall facedown, frog modified.
Out here comes the static line.
lt goes from this to here.
The pilot chute opens, pulling the bridle out,
and then the main canopy will be open.
And then you'll be down here,
looking up here for the WDl indicator.
And you'll also check for Mae West.
lf that's not there, you need to check here
for four panels and a hole.
When you come down, you'll find the P,
you'll land here and get in this position.
Except you don't wanna do that.
What you want to do is get right here,
come around here, fold up...
...and do a toggle and jettison,
and always watch the horizon, okay?
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
No. Hold it.
You screwed up again, man.
You gotta stay clear
of this static line...
...or you're gonna get
your head tore off.
This time, go ahead and jump off the strut
and arch back onto this mattress.
A good, hard arch. Okay?
Let's do it one more time like l showed you.
You're inside the plane. l cut the engine.
You reach your hands outside the door.
Step out on the wheel,
dangle a foot and arch!
Wow, he missed the mattress.
You guys might wanna help him
adjust the straps a little.
The chances of having a malfunction
are one in Mr. Hicks.
lt's only, like, one in .
l don't even want you worrying about it.
l used to rig chutes in Nam, man.
And l repack these babies every week.
So if something goes wrong
with your main chute...
...you still got the old belly reserve here.
You get two shots at that mother, right?
We're gonna go through it
like l showed you.
Now, you're out on the wing,
and you're looking at me.
Come on. You're looking at me,
and l give you the signal to go!
Now you're arching and counting.
lt's , . There's nothing happening!
When you get to six, you look up over
your shoulder. lt's a screamer! Cut away!
Pull the D rings! Oh, God! Oh, shit!
You're gonna burn in. Tuck and cover!
Tuck and cover! Hit the reserve!
Look out! You're gonna burn in, man.
Look out! Here comes the ground!
Let it go.
You gotta be cool, dude.
Do that in the real thing,
and you'll bounce.
Yeah, when somebody makes the big drop,
they don't really spatter.
They just kind of bounce,
like, about feet.
Around here, you don't,
because the landing zone's real soft.
Although l know one case where
a guy left a crater like a meteorite.
Did he burn when he entered
-No. l don't think so.
-Okay. He's got this down.
-Are we ready to suit him up?
-Oh, sure thing, Mr. Barnes.
Okay, you're all set, man.
l'll be talking you down on this thing.
ls something the matter, dude?
Look, if it'll make it easier, l'll jump first
so as you can watch how it's done.
What a space cadet l am, huh?
Well, l can't do that.
lf l do that,
who's gonna land the plane?
That was a joke, son.
lt was a bad joke.
There she is.
What a beaut.
-l painted her myself.
-Slow year, huh?
-Looks fast, Truman.
-Yeah. lt's the stripes.
-Yeah. Well, l like those.
-Trelis painted those.
She's real talented.
Watch your heads, now.
We don't need that.
Oh, hi, Hazel.
No flight today.
Oh, say, Truman, l ain't sure,
but l think l just hurt your plane.
Oh, no, man. Don't worry.
That thing's coming off all the time.
l'm always meaning to fix this thing.
l just never have the time, you know?
There we go.
That baby's as good as new.
-Oh, here he is.
-There he is.
-You all set?
-Oh, he's raring to go.
How come you guys
ain't writing any of this stuff down?
That's a good point, Truman.
You take good notes, Philip.
Hop in, dude.
That's one small step
for a Groover, boys...
...one giant leap for weenie-kind!
There he is, boys!
l think he's really gonna do it.
Ain't this fine?
...courtesy of Phil Hicks,
-Oh, that Phil. He's something.
Which one of you geeks
grabbed the wrong chute?
Who's got my laundry?
l guess you do this kind of stuff
all the time...
...being an action-adventure editor
Hey, did you ever spearfish
for sharks, man?
Must be a real rush, huh?
Just you and a great white, one-on-one.
-He doesn't have a radio on the plane?
-He never needed one.
That's against the law.
Trelis, honey, listen to me. You don't
understand. We got to get him down.
We gotta stop him, Trelis.
Quit worrying. He's got one good chute
and my laundry.
Think he'll remember
that emergency stuff?
-Oh, God almighty. We gotta stop him.
We gotta stop him.
We gotta send him a signal.
-How, smoke signals?
-Burn his car.
No, no! Something else.
l got it! l got it.
-We'll spell ''don't jump'' on the ground.
Hey, you don't mind if l fire up, do you?
You might wanna take a couple of hits
before you go out the door.
lt makes the trip down real interesting.
We need you to be an apostrophe.
No, no! lt's not gonna work!
lt's too small.
He's not gonna understand it.
-We're out of clothes.
-Come on, Gardner, think!
Come here, boys!
You know, there aren't many dudes
left around who'll go for it.
l mean, that's what it's all about,
lt's like the man said:
lt's better to go like this
than in some senseless tragedy.
l mean, l'd rather burn in at
miles an hour and have some laughs...
...than to eat it in a car accident.
l mean, that's a really dumb way to go.
l got to tell you about my dream.
You're gonna get into this.
This is great.
No, really. The one thing l want to do...
...before l join the cosmos
is to hang-glide off of Mount Everest.
Wait. This is the best part. lt's naked!
Yeah, we're almost there, buddy.
The drop zone's dead ahead.
-Hey, man, what a drag.
-The plane's coming.
l mean, where do you guys get off?
Biodegradable soap don't come cheap,
Hey, look. Your buddies wrote you
some kind of message.
This is great!
Like it's not enough
you already botched one load, huh?
You guys are totally uncool.
What a pisser!
Hey, those guys spelled it out good.
Here, take a look.
He's coming, you guys!
-l don't know what you guys are on, but--
-Ma'am. Wait. Ma'am, no.
-No, ma'am. No.
-Trelis, no, wait.
Okay, man. Get ready.
-Just keep your distance, man.
-We need that laundry a few more minutes.
Listen, l ain't kinky. l ain't into that stuff.
Okay, dude, out you go.
Remember, l want to see
a good, hard arch.
What am l doing out here?
Hey, man, you gotta let go!
Don't get sick, man.
l can't land with you like that.
A whole washday shot to hell.
Wow, what a bummer.
Hey, Mr. Hicks, guess what.
Don't get upset, man,
but there's something l gotta tell you.
Your parachute didn't open, man.
Please, sweet Jesus, make his brain work.
Hit the reserve, son. Hit it.
Mr. Hicks? Hey, listen, dude.
lf you're into playing it close, that's cool,
but we're talking mega-malfunction here.
Can you hear me, Mr. Hicks?
Come on, Phil! Hit it!
Why don't you turn your volume up
just a tad.
l said, your parachute didn't open, man!
Okay, dude, no problem.
Just wanted to keep you posted.
Now, why don't we pull
on that old reserve, huh?
lt's on your belly, man.
lt's a silver handle on your belly.
Your stomach. Your tum-tum.
Pull the handle on your stomach!
Pull the handle on your stomach!
Pull the handle on your stomach!
All right! Way to go, Mr. Hicks!
Now get those legs together
and get ready to land!
-You made it, son! You made it.
-Yes, you did.
Philip. Listen to me, son.
Philip, l didn't mean a word of it.
Not a word.
Way to go, Mr. Hicks.
That was a great recovery.
l want to shake your hand.
-Say, he's got a good grip on that thing.
-Wake up, son. Wake up. lt's all over.
Philip, forgive us.
We'll never badmouth you again, bud.
No, son, it's us.
You made it. You're alive.
And you're going down in the annals
of Grooverdom for this one, bud.
Oh, hold on. Wait a minute.
Hold it right there.
-You get a free picture with your first jump.
Oh, listen, l hope you ain't gonna be
too sore about this little screw up.
Oh, no. No, no. Accidents will happen.
Well, see, l don't want no bad press.
Okay, hold it, hold it.
l think you're gonna like this one.
You'll wear that thing out
looking at it so much, Philip.
Weenies are like that.
Thanks for letting us finish this thing.
lt's the last one.
How far is the border?
Oh, it's about three or four miles thattaway.
-Think he's still there? Dom?
lt don't all change.
This place did.
Remember when you were
How you knew the next couple
...they'd be great.
Just knew it.
l don't feel that way no more.
l'm not going with you, Gardner.
How about you? What's after Mexico?
l ain't too worried about that.
You know, you could request
a duty assignment in Germany.
We got a lot of bases there.
Maybe l could help you out.
Well, thank you, bud.
But l just can't chance that.
Anyway, you know me, gotta roam...
gotta cross females and fences...
...and if you'd all just come with me,
...let's go dig that rascal up.
Here's to us, by God!
To us, and that...
...and privileges of youth.
Here's to us and what we were.
And what we'll be.
And what we'll be.
Was it worth it?
-No, it wasn't.
l blew it.
Goddamn it. She loved me, and l blew it.
Maybe it never would have worked,
but at least l should have tried.
l should have tried. Goddamn it,
and l blew it!
You ever been in love, Philip?
l don't know.
Of course you know. lf you ever thought
you loved a woman, you loved her.
That's all love is, mostly.
Help me here. This boy's got
to get married.
Of course she said ''yes.''
l proposed for him.
-Was she mad?
-lt's okay. l blamed it on you.
-Philip, it's okay. l think she knows better.
Now, for once in your life--
For once in your life,
just do what l tell you...
-...and we might pull this thing off.
-Okay, are we gonna take him to Dallas?
Her family would kill him.
Besides, it'd be boring.
-She's gotta come here.
Give me that dime.
There's only one human being
that can do it on time.
l- to loop .
South to Band-Aid.
You. Hey, you!
Yeah. Terminate that flight path
And follow me into Love Field.
Now! l'm not telling you twice.
What are you doing?
Us? Oh, we're just setting up
for a wedding reception.
-Yep. A big one too.
Champagne, roast duck, the works.
ln fact, catering trucks ought to be
here any minute.
Feel free to stay. There'll be plenty
l forgot to order the napkins.
You know, it's always something.
Hell, l got napkins.
Just a moment.
Are you Mr. Barnes?
-Well, yes, l am.
Thank you, sir.
Oh, no. No.
Well, how am l supposed--?
-Talk about your rotten luck.
No champagne. Truck flipped over in
Fort Stockton. Broke every damn bottle.
What'll we drink?
Say, you all drink beer?
Well, yes. On occasion.
-You mind if l cut in?
Thanks a lot.
l wish we'd ordered beans,
instead of caviar.
l'll go right home and fix a batch.
-You don't have to.
l hope they're bringing lots of tables
on the catering truck.
There's a slew of tables
at the schoolhouse.
Well, l wonder if we might borrow a few,
just in case.
l reckon. My son is principal.
Say, you looking for me?
Ed. The butcher.
Ed, this is so embarrassing.
Never do it. Never cater another party
with those people. You folks are so kind.
-Why, thank you.
We lost the band!
-Yeah, l heard.
That's a shame. There's some fellas
here in town that can cut a mean--
Yeah. Well, the band was bringing
the decorations too.
See, they were bringing
our tree lights. Everything.
l'm sorry you hooked those extensions
up for nothing.
-This thing was coming together so nice.
-Well, tree lights, huh?
Truman, you are a gentleman
and a scholar.
Look, l owed you one, Mr. Barnes.
And here she is.
Don't l know you?
You used to.
Here. Best man's got to dance too,
Hey! How about a fandango?
He's not here.
Well, listen, l'm gonna try and catch
a ride with somebody.
lt's been real.
Call me sometime.
Arthur Andersen in Dallas.
Gardner didn't say goodbye.
Neither will l.
Have a nice life.