Voila! Finally, the Fargo
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie directed by the Coen brothers
and starring Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, William H. Macy, Peter Stormare,
yadda yadda. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Fargo. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Fargo, North Dakota
(# "Big City" by Merle Haggard
playing on jukebox)
I'm, uh, Jerry Lundegaard.
- You're Jerry Lundegaard?
- Shep Proudfoot said...
- He said you'd come at 7:30 What gives?
Shep said 8:30.
We've been here an hour.
He's peed three times already.
Aw. I'm sure sorry. Shep told me 8:30.
It was a mix-up, I guess.
- You got the car?
- Yah, you bet. It's out in the lot there.
- Brand-new, burnt-umber Ciera.
- Yeah, OK. Well, sit down, then.
I'm Carl Showalter.
This is my associate, Gaear Grimsrud.
Yah. How ya doin'?
- So, we all set on this thing, then?
- Sure, Jerry. Why wouldn't we be?
Yeah, no, I'm sure you are. Shep vouched
for you. I've got every confidence in you.
I guess that's it, then. Here are the keys.
No, that's not it, Jerry.
- The new vehicle, plus $40,000.
Yah, but the deal was the car first, then
the $40,000 like as if it was the ransom.
- I thought Shep told you.
- Shep didn't tell us much.
- Well, OK. It's...
- Except that you'd be here at . .
- Yah, that was a mix-up.
- Yeah. You already said that.
Yah. But it's not
a whole pay-in-advance deal.
See, I give you a brand-new vehicle
in advance, and then...
- I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry.
I'm not gonna sit here and debate.
I will say this, though. What Shep told us
didn't make a lot of sense.
Oh, no, it's real sound. It's all worked out.
- You want your own wife kidnapped?
My point is, you pay the ransom,
I mean, you give us half the ransom -
. You keep half.
It's like robbin' Peter to pay Paul.
Makes no sense.
OK. See, it's not me paying the ransom.
The thing is, my wife, she's wealthy.
Her dad, he's real well-off.
- Now, I'm in trouble.
- What kind of trouble you in, Jerry?
Well, that's... I'm not gonna get into...
See, I just need the money.
- Now, her dad, he's real well-off.
- So why not just ask him for the money?
- Or your fucking wife.
- Or your fucking wife, Jerry.
It's all part of this...
They don't know I need it, see.
OK, so there's that.
And even if they did, I wouldn't get it.
So there's that on top, then.
- These are personal matters.
- Personal matters?
Yah. Personal matters that needn't, uh...
OK, Jerry. You're tasking us
to perform this mission, but you won't...
Oh, fuck it. Let's take a look at that Ciera.
- Hi, hon. Welcome back.
- How was Fargo?
- Yah. Real good.
- Dad's here.
- (sport commentary)
- How ya doin', Wade?
- Yah. Pretty good.
- What you watchin' there?
- Who they playin'?
- Is he stayin' for supper, then?
- Yah, I think so. Dad?
- You stayin' for supper?
- May I be excused?
- You done there?
- Uh-huh. I'm going out.
- Where are you going?
- Just McDonald's.
- Back at . .
He just ate. He didn't finish. He's going
to McDonald's instead of finishing here.
- He sees his friends there. It's OK.
- It's OK, McDonald's?
What do you think they do there?
They don't drink milkshakes!
It's OK, Dad.
Wade, have you had a chance to think
about that deal I was talkin' about?
- Those acres there on Wayzata?
- You told me about it.
Yah. You said you'd think about it.
I understand it's a lot of money.
It's a heck of a lot.
What did you want to put there?
- A lot. It's a limited...
- I know it's a lot.
- I mean a parking lot.
- Yeah, well, $ is a lot.
- Yeah, well, it's a chunk, but...
- I had two lots. Lost a lot of money.
- Yah, but the difference...
- Why not show it to Stan Grossman?
Stan'll say no dice.
That's why you pay him.
I'm askin' you here, Wade.
This could work out real good
for me and Jean and Scotty.
Jean and Scotty never have to worry.
Where is Pancake's House?
- We stop at Pancake's House.
You nuts? We had pancakes for breakfast.
I gotta go to a place where
I can get a shot and a beer and steak.
Not more fucking pancakes. Come on.
Oh, come on, man.
OK, here's an idea.
We can stop outside of Brainerd.
I know a place there we can get laid.
- I'm fuckin' hungry now.
- Yeah, yeah. Jesus.
I'm saying we can stop, get pancakes
and then we'll get laid. All right?
(voice over Tannoy)
(man) We sat right here in this room
and went over this.
- Yah, but that TruCoat...
- I said I didn't want any TruCoat.
Yah, but I'm saying, that TruCoat, you
don't get it, you get oxidation problems...
You're sitting there talking in circles
like we didn't go over this already.
- Yeah, but this TruCoat...
- We had a deal for $ .
Darned if you didn't tell me you'd get me
this car without the sealant for $ .
- All right, I'm not saying I didn't.
- You called me and said you had it.
"Ready to make delivery" you says.
And here you are and you're
wasting my time and my wife's time.
And I'm paying $
for this vehicle here.
I'll talk to my boss.
See, they install that TruCoat
at the factory. There's nothing we can do.
But I'll talk to my boss.
These guys here. These guys.
It's always the same. It's always more.
- You going to the Gophers on Sunday?
- Oh, you betcha.
You wouldn't have an extra ticket?
He's never done this before, but seein' as
it's special circumstances an' all,
he says I can knock $ off that TruCoat.
You lied to me, Mr Lundegaard.
You're a bald-faced liar.
A... fucking liar.
Where's my goddamn chequebook?
Let's get this over with.
Where is it?
(# "Johnny's Theme")
"The Tonight Show", star...
I am talking about your potential.
You're not a C student.
Yet you're gettin' C grades.
It's that disparity there
that concerns your dad and me.
- You know what a disparity is?
OK. Well, that's why we
don't want you goin' out for hockey.
Oh, man! Come on. What's the big deal?
- Hold on.
- What's the big deal?
- Yeah, hi, hon.
- Oh, hi, Dad.
- Is Jerry around?
- Yah. Hon? Yah, he's here.
- I'll catch him for ya. Hon? It's Dad.
- Look, Dad, there's no fucking way...
Hey, let's watch that language there.
- How ya doin' there, Wade?
- What's goin' on?
Uh, nothin', Wade. How ya doin' there?
Stan Grossman looked at your proposal.
He says it's pretty sweet.
- No kiddin'?
- Might be interested.
No kiddin'? I'd need the cash pretty quick
there, in order to close the deal.
Come by at . . We'll talk about it. If your
numbers are right, Stan says it's sweet.
- Stan, you know, Grossman.
- . .
- Yah. OK.
Say, Shep, how ya doin' there?
Say, you know those two fellas you
put me in touch with up there in Fargo?
- Put you in touch with Grimsrud.
- Well, he had a buddy there. He...
- I don't vouch for him.
- That's OK.
- I vouch for Grimsrud. Who's his buddy?
- Uh, Carl something.
Never heard of him. Don't vouch for him.
He's a buddy of the guy you vouch for,
so I'm not worrying.
I gotta get in touch with him.
This deal I needed 'em for, I may not need
it any more. Something's happenin', see.
- Call him up.
- I did, and I haven't been able to get him.
So I thought maybe you'd know
an alternate number.
Well, real good, then.
Can you crack
a fuckin' window open, man?
You know, it's proven second-hand smoke
is a carcino... You know, a cancer agent.
Look at that - Twin Cities.
That's the IDS building, the big glass one.
The tallest skyscraper in the Midwest,
after the, uh, Sears in Chicago,
or John Hancock Building, whatever.
Have you ever been to Minneapolis?
Would it kill you to say something?
- I did.
That's the first thing you've said
in the last four hours.
That's a... that's a fountain
of conversation, man. That's a geyser.
I mean, whoa, daddy. Stand back, man.
I'm sittin' here drivin' - I'm doin' all the
drivin', whole fuckin' way from Brainerd -
just tryin' to chat, you know, keep our
spirits up, fight the boredom of the road,
and you can't say one fuckin' thing
just in the way of conversation?
Oh, fuck it. I don't have to talk either, man.
See how you like it.
Just total fuckin' silence.
Two can play at that game, smart guy.
We'll just see how you like it.
Mr Lundegaard, this is Reilly Diefenbach
from GMAC. How are you this morning?
- Real good. How you doin'?
- Good. You're hard to get on the phone.
Yah, it's pretty darn busy here,
but that's the way we like it.
That's for sure. Now, I just need, on these
last financing documents you sent us,
I can't read the serial numbers.
Yah, but it's OK. The loans are in place.
I already got the... the... What?
- $ . You got the money last month.
- Yah. So we're all set, then.
Yes, but the vehicles you're borrowing on,
I can't read the serial numbers. If you...
- But the deal's done. I got the money.
- Yes. We have an audit here.
I just have to know that these vehicles
you're financing with this money exist.
- Yah, well, they exist all right.
- Well, I'm sure they do.
But I can't read the serial numbers,
so if you could read me...
Yah, but, see... I don't have 'em in front
of me. Why don't I fax you over a copy?
Fax is no good. That's what I have,
and I can't read the darn thing...
Yah, OK. I'll have my girl
send you a copy, then.
OK. Because if I can't correlate this note
with the vehicles, I call back that money.
- Yah. How much money was that?
- $ .
I gotta correlate that money
with the cars it's being lent on.
- OK. No problem. I'll fax that over...
- No, no. Fax is...
- I mean send it. I'll shoot it over to you.
- OK, fine.
OK. Real good, then.
- We're with Katie Carlson.
Now, we just want to remind
all of our viewers at home
that this March, for the second year in
a row, Katie and I, with Twin City Travel,
will be leading
a two-week trip down the Nile.
It's a terrific time. I know you've heard
about it. We want all of you to come with.
- And that's the truth. (blows raspberry)
OK, for those who've just joined us,
Katie is gonna show us...
...how to make Holidazzle eggs at home.
- Now, Katie, I gotta admit.
I was a little bit surprised when I first
picked this up. This is an empty egg.
- That's right, Dale.
- There was an egg in here, right?
- OK, well, how do you...
You don't have an empty chicken
somewhere that lays empty eggs?
No, no. I guarantee this was
an honest-to-goodness Grade A...
I need unguent.
- (Carl) Am I doin' it?
- (Gaear) Push it.
- How're you, Stan? How ya doin', Wade?
- Good to see you again, Jerry.
If the numbers are right,
this looks pretty sweet.
- Oh, those numbers are right, all right.
- This is doable.
- Congratulations, Jer.
- Thanks, Stan. It's a pretty...
What kind of finder's fee
were you looking for?
The financials are pretty thorough, so
the only thing we don't know is your fee.
My fee? Wade, what the heck
are you talkin' about?
- Stan and I are OK.
- We're good to load in.
But we never talked about your fee
for bringing it to us.
No, Wade, I was bringing you this deal
for you to loan me the money to put in.
It's my deal here, see.
We thought you were
bringing us an investment.
- Yah. Right.
- You're sayin'... What are you sayin'?
You're saying we put in all the money
and you collect when it pays off.
No, no, see, but I'd pay you back
the principal, and interest.
- Heck, I'd go one over prime.
- We're not a bank, Jerry.
If I wanted bank interest on $ I'd
go to Midwest Federal, talk to Bill Diehl.
- He's at Norstar.
- He's at...
No, no. But, see,
I don't need a finder's fee.
Finder's fee's, what, %? Heck, that's not
gonna do it for me. I need the principal.
- We're not gonna give you $ .
- What the heck were you thinking?
If I'm only getting bank interest,
I want complete security. Heck, FDIC.
- I don't see nothing like that here.
- Yeah, but I... I...
OK. I'd... I'd guarantee you
your money back.
I'm not talking about
your damn word, Jerry.
- Jeez, what the heck are you...
- We're not a bank, Jerry.
Well, look, I don't wanna cut you out
of the loop, but this here's a good deal.
I assume if you're not interested,
you won't mind if we move on it.
Got the groceries.
Yah, Wade, it's Jerry.
Wade, it's Jerry.
I don't know what to do. It's Jean.
I don't know what to do. It's my wife.
I don't know what to do. It's Jean.
(sobbing) Yeah, Wade, it's Jerry. I...
Wade, it's Jerry. I... We gotta talk.
It's somethin'... Aw, jeez, it's terrible.
- (woman) Yes?
- Uh, uh...
Yeah. Wade Gustafson, please.
Shut the fuck up, or I'll throw you
back into the trunk, you know.
Jeez, that's more than
I've heard you say all week.
(Carl) Ah, shit.
Oh, the tags. (sighs)
All right, it's just the tags.
I never put my tags on the car.
Don't worry. I'll take care of this.
Keep it still back there, lady, or else
we're gonna have to, you know, shoot ya.
Hey, I'll take care of this.
How can I help you, Officer?
- This a new car, then, sir?
- Certainly is, Officer. Still got that smell.
You're required to display temporary tags,
either in the plate area
or taped to the back window.
- Can I see your licence and registration?
Yeah, I was gonna tape up the tag,
you know, to be in full compliance,
but, uh, it must've, uh...
It must've slipped my mind.
So maybe the best thing to do would be
to take care of that right here in Brainerd.
- What's this, sir?
- My licence and registration.
Yeah, I wanna be in compliance.
I was just thinking we could
take care of it right here, in Brainerd.
Put that back in your pocket, please.
And step out of the car, please, sir.
Shut the fuck up!
You'll take care of it.
You are smooth smooth, you know.
Just clear him off the road.
Hi, it's Marge.
Oh, my. Where?
OK, there in a jiff.
Real good, then.
You can sleep. It's early yet.
- Gotta go?
I'll fix you some eggs.
That's OK, hon. I gotta run.
You gotta eat a breakfast, Marge.
I'll fix you some eggs.
Oh, hon, you can sleep.
You gotta eat a breakfast.
I'll fix you some eggs.
Thanks, hon. Time to shove off.
- Love you, Margie.
- Love you, hon.
Prowler needs a jump.
Whoo! What ya got there?
Margie, thought you might
need a little warm-up.
Thanks a bunch.
What's the deal?
Gary says triple homicide.
Yah. Looks pretty bad.
Two of 'em are over here.
- Where is everybody?
It's cold, Margie.
Watch your step, Margie.
Aw, jeez. So...
Here's the second one!
It's in the head and the hand there.
- I guess that's a defensive wound.
- Oh, yah?
Where's the state trooper?
Back there a good piece,
in the ditch next to his prowler.
So we got a trooper pulls someone over,
we got a shooting, these folks drive by,
there's a high-speed pursuit, ends here,
and then this execution-type deal.
I'd be very surprised
if our suspect was from Brainerd.
And I'll tell you what. From his footprint,
he looks like a big fella.
You see something down there, Chief?
No, I just think I'm gonna barf.
- You OK, Margie?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
It's just morning sickness.
- Well, that passed.
Yah. Now I'm hungry again.
You had breakfast yet, Margie?
- Norm made some eggs.
What now, do you think?
Let's go take a look at that trooper.
- There's different footprints here, Lou.
- Yah. This guy's smaller than his buddy.
- Oh, yah?
- For Pete's sake.
- How's it look, Marge?
Well, he's got his gun on his hip there,
and he looks like a nice enough guy.
- It's a real shame.
- Didn't monkey with his car there, did ya?
- No way.
Somebody shut his lights. Guess the little
guy sat in there waiting for his buddy.
- Yah. Would've been cold out here.
- Heck, yah.
- Ya think, is Dave open yet?
You think he's mixed up in this?
Oh, no. I just wanna get Norm
some night crawlers.
- Did you look in his citation book?
Last vehicle he wrote in was a tan Ciera at
. am. Under plate number he put DLR.
I figure they shot him before
he could finish filling out the tag number.
- So I got the state looking for a Ciera
with a tag startin' DLR.
They don't got no match yet.
I'm not sure that I agree with you %
on your police work there, Lou.
I think that vehicle there
probably had dealer plates. DLR.
Lou, d'you hear the one about the guy
who couldn't afford personalised plates,
so he went and
changed his name to J L ?
Yah, that's a good one.
(Wade) Look, all's I know is you got
a problem, you call a professional.
No. They said no cops. They said
"You call your cops, we're gonna shoot..."
Of course they'll say that.
Where's my protection? They got Jean.
If I give 'em a million,
where's my guarantee they'll let her go?
- Well, they...
- A million dollars is a lot of money.
- They got my daughter.
- Think this thing through.
You give 'em what they want,
why won't they let her go?
You gotta listen to me on this one, Wade.
Heck, you don't know.
You're just whistling Dixie here.
The cops can advise us on this.
I'm saying call a professional.
No. No cops!
That's final. This is my deal here, Wade.
- Jean is my wife here.
I gotta tell you, Wade,
I'm leaning to Jerry's viewpoint.
- We gotta protect Jean. These...
We're not holding any cards.
They got 'em all, so they call the shots.
- You're darned tootin'.
- Oh, dammit.
- I'm tellin' ya.
- Well, why don't we...
Stan, I'm thinking
we should offer 'em half a million.
Now, come on here!
No way, Wade. No way.
- We're not horse-tradin' here, Wade.
- We gotta just bite the bullet on this thing.
So, uh, what's the next step here, Jerry?
They're gonna call me with instructions
for a drop. I need the money by tomorrow.
- How was everything today?
- Yah. Real good now.
How you doin'?
OK. Now, we'll get the money together.
Don't worry about it, Jerry.
Now, do you want anyone at home
with you till they call?
No, I... They were just supposed to be
dealing with me. They were real clear.
You know, they said no one listening in.
They'll be watchin', you know.
Maybe it's all bull, but, like you said,
Stan, they're callin' the shots.
Now, is Scotty gonna be all right?
Yah. Jeez, Scotty.
- Yah. I'll go talk to him.
How ya doin' there, Scotty?
What are they doin'?
- What do you think they're doin' to Mom?
- It's OK, Scotty.
They're not gonna wanna hurt her any.
These men, they just want money.
- What if something goes wrong, Dad?
- No, no, no. Nothing's going wrong here.
Granddad and I, we're making sure
this gets handled right.
- I really think we should call the cops.
- No, no.
No one can know about this thing.
We gotta play ball with these guys.
- Stan Grossman'll tell ya the same thing.
- But, Dad...
We're gonna get Mom back for ya,
but we gotta play ball, you know.
That's the deal here.
So if Lorraine calls, or Sylvia,
you just say Mom's down in Florida
with Pearl and Marty.
That's the best we can do here.
Oh, Janie, two more
of those Skin-So-Softs, please.
- Hiya, hon.
- I brought you some lunch, Margie.
- What are those, night crawlers?
- Aw, thanks, hon.
- You bet. Thanks for lunch.
Oh, yah, looks pretty good.
- What have we got here? Arby's?
- How's the paintin' goin'?
- Pretty good.
- The Hautmans are entering a painting.
- Aw, hon, you're better than them.
- They're real good.
- They're good, Norm. But you're better.
You think so?
Hey, you got Arby's all over me.
- Hey, Norm. How's the paintin' goin'?
- Not too bad, you know.
- How we doin' on that vehicle?
- No motels registered a Ciera last night.
But the night before,
two men checked into the Blue Ox
registering a Ciera
and leaving the tag space blank.
- Jeez, that's a good lead.
- That's that truckers' joint on l- ?
Owner was on the desk then.
Said these two had company.
- Oh, yah?
- We both did. She went to college, too.
- I went to Normandale for about a year.
- Yah, that's where we met.
- I dropped out.
- Yah, she dropped.
- So where are you girls from?
Le Sueur, but I went to high school
in White Bear Lake. Go, Bears.
OK. I want you to tell me
what these fellas look like.
- The little guy was kinda funny-lookin'.
- In what way?
- I don't know. Just funny-lookin'.
- Can you be any more specific?
I couldn't really say.
He wasn't circumcised.
- Was he funny-lookin' apart from that?
So, you were having sex
with the little fella, then?
- Anything else you can say about him?
No. Like I say, he was funny-lookin'.
More than most people, even.
- What about the other fella?
- He was older.
- He looked like the Marlboro Man.
- Oh, yah?
Yah. But maybe I'm saying that
cos he smoked a lot of Marlboros.
- Like a subconscious type of thing.
- Oh, yah, that can happen.
- Hey, they were goin' to the Twin Cities.
- Oh, yah?
Yah. Yah. Is that useful to ya?
Oh, you betcha, yah.
- (Carl) Come on! Goddammit!
Come on, you fucking shit box.
Been here for days.
Goddammit, nothin' to do.
Fucking TV doesn't even...
Dammit, come on! Plug me in, man.
Give me a fucking signal.
Unbelievable. Come on.
Come on, plug me into the ozone, baby.
(narrator) The bark beetle
carries the worm to its nest,
where it will feed its young
for up to six months.
In the spring, the larvae hatch
and the cycle begins again.
I'm turning in, Norm.
Here it is throwing off the larval envelope.
- (man) Yah, is this Marge?
- Margie Olmstead?
Yah. Who's this?
This is Mike Yanagita/
You know, Mike Yanagita. Remember me?
Course I remember you.
How are ya doin'?
- What time is it?
- Oh, jeez, it's a quarter to eleven.
- I hope I didn't wake you.
- No. That's OK.
Yah, I'm down in the Twin Cities.
I was watching on TV
about these shootings in Brainerd,
- and I saw you on the news.
I thought "Jeez, is that Margie Olmstead?
I can't believe it."
Yah. That's me.
Well, how the heck are ya?
OK, you know. OK.
- How are you doin'?
- Oh, pretty good.
It's been such a long time, Mike.
It's great to hear from ya.
Yah, you got your, um... This is loaded
here. This has your independent...
Your front-wheel drive,
antilock brakes, alarm, radar.
And I can give it to you
with a heck of a sealant.
- This TruCoat stuff, it'll keep the salt off.
- I don't need no sealant.
Yah, you don't need that.
Were you thinking of financing here?
You aware of this GMAC plan? It's super.
- (man) Got a call for you, Jerry.
- Yah, OK.
- Jerry Lundegaard.
- (Carl) Jerry, got the phone to yourself?
- Well, yah.
- You know who this is?
Well, yah. I got an idea.
How's that Ciera workin' out for ya?
Circumstances have changed, Jerry.
Well... what do you mean?
Things have changed. Circumstances
beyond the... Acts of God, force majeure.
What the... How's Jean?
- Who's Jean?
- My wife. What the...
She's all right, but there's three people
in Brainerd who aren't OK.
What are you talking about?
Let's finish this deal here.
Blood has been shed, Jerry.
- What the heck do you mean?
- Three people in Brainerd.
- Oh, jeez.
- That's right. And we need more money.
What are you talkin' about?
What have you got mixed up in?
- We need more money...
- This was a no-rough-stuff deal.
- Don't ever interrupt me. Shut the fuck up/
- Well, I'm sorry, but I just...
I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry.
We now want the entire $ .
- Oh, for Chrissake here.
- Blood's been shed. We've incurred risks.
I'm coming to town tomorrow
for the money.
Now, we had a deal here. A deal's a deal.
Is it, Jerry? Ask those three poor souls
up in Brainerd if a deal's a deal. Ask 'em/
- The heck do you mean?
- "Heck d'you mean?" See you tomorrow.
- Jerome Lundegaard?
- This is Reilly Diefenbach at GMAC.
Sir, I've not received those vehicle IDs.
Yah. I... Those are in the mail.
That may be. However, absent the receipt
of those numbers by tomorrow afternoon,
I'll have to refer this matter
to our legal department.
- My patience is at an end.
- Good day, sir.
(# muzak: "Do You Know
The Way To San Jose")
Hi, Norm. How ya doin', Margie?
- How's the fricassee?
- Pretty darn good. You want some?
Oh, no. I got... Hey, Norm. I thought
you was goin' ice fishing up at Mille Lacs.
- Yah. After lunch.
- What you got there?
- Oh. The numbers you asked for.
Calls made from the lobby phone at the
Blue Ox. Two to Minneapolis that night.
First one's a trucking company, second's
a private residence. A Shep Proudfoot.
Uh-huh. A what?
Shep Proudfoot. That's a name.
- Think I'll take a drive down there, then.
- Oh, yah? Twin Cities?
Dammit, I wanna be a part of this thing.
No. Wade, they were clear. They said
they'd call tomorrow with instructions,
- and it's gotta be delivered by me alone.
- It's my money. I'll deliver it.
- What do they care?
- Wade's got a point there.
- I'll handle the call if you want, Jerry.
- No, no. See, they only deal with me.
You feel this nervousness
on the phone there.
They're very... These guys are dangerous.
All the more reason. I don't want you...
With all due respect,
I don't want you mucking this up.
- They want my money, they deal with me,
or I go to a professional.
There's a million dollars here!
- No, see...
- Jerry, you're not selling me a damn car!
It's my show here. That's that.
It's the way we prefer to handle it, Jerry.
Hi. How ya doin'?
- Real good. How you doin' today, ma'am?
- I'm doing really super there, thanks.
I'm Mrs Gunderson. I have a reservation.
Yup, you sure do, Mrs Gunderson.
Is there a phone down here, ya think?
Yeah, this is Marge Gunderson
from up Brainerd. We spoke.
Yeah, well, actually I'm in town here.
I had to do a few things in the Twin Cities,
so I thought I'd check in with ya about
that USFI search on Shep Proudfoot.
Well, maybe I'll go visit
with him if I have a...
No, I can find that.
Yah, well, thanks a bunch. Oh, say, say.
Would you happen to know a good place
for lunch in the downtown area?
Oh, yah. Is it reasonable?
- Hi. How ya doin'?
- Yeah. I decided not to park here.
What? You decided not to park here?
Yeah, I just came in.
I decided not to park here, so...
But... Well, I'm sorry, sir...
Yeah, I decided not to... I, uh...
I'm not... I decided not
to take the trip, as it turns out.
Well, I'm sorry, sir.
We've still gotta charge you the $ .
I just pulled in here.
I just fucking pulled in here.
Well, but, see,
there's a minimum charge of $ .
Long-term parking charges by the day.
I guess you think you're like an authority
figure, with that stupid fucking uniform?
Fucking clip-on tie there.
Big fucking man, huh?
These are the limits of your life.
Ruler of your little fucking gate.
Here. There's your $
you pathetic piece of shit.
- Where's Shep?
- Talking to a cop.
- Said she was a cop.
Do you remember getting a call
- You reside at Freemont Terrace?
- Anyone else residing there?
Well, Mr Proudfoot, this call
came in past three in the morning.
It's just hard for me to believe
you don't remember anyone calling.
Now, I know you've had some problems.
Struggling with the narcotics, some
other entanglements, currently on parole.
- Well, associating with criminals,
if you're the one they talked to, that right
there would be a violation of your parole.
Would end you up back in Stillwater.
I saw some rough stuff on your priors,
but nothing like a homicide.
I know you don't wanna be
an accessory to something like that.
So, you think you might remember
who those folks were who called ya?
- Mr Lundegaard?
- Huh, yeah.
- Could I take a minute of your time here?
- What... what is it all about?
D'you mind if I sit down?
Carrying quite a load here.
- You're the owner here, Mr Lundegaard?
- No, I... Executive sales manager.
- You can help me. I'm Marge Gunderson.
- My father-in-law is the owner.
Uh-huh. Well, I'm a police officer from up
Brainerd investigating some malfeasance.
I was wondering if you'd had any vehicles
stolen off the lot in the past two weeks.
Specifically, a tan-coloured Ciera.
Yah, yah. Home of Paul Bunyan,
Babe the Blue Ox.
Babe the Blue Ox.
Yeah, you know,
we got that big statue up there.
So, you haven't had any vehicles
go missing, then?
No. No, ma'am.
Okey-dokey, thanks a bunch. I'll let you
get back to your paperwork, then.
- Yah, get me Shep.
- (man) He's not here right now.
- What the heck d'you mean?
- He stepped out.
- Where did he go?
- I'll get Arty.
No, I don't need a mechanic.
I need a, uh...
Aw, jeez. I gotta talk to a friend of his.
So, um... have him, um...
- Aw, jeez.
(# pianist playing "Sometimes in Winter")
- Oh, you look great.
- Yeah, so do you.
Oh, easy there, easy there.
Easy there, easy there.
You do, too. I'm expecting.
Oh, I see that. That's great.
- Oh, what can I get ya?
- Oh, just a Diet Coke, please.
- (waitress) Great.
- This is a nice place.
You know, it's a Radisson,
so it's pretty good. Yah.
- You're living in Edina, then?
- Yah, yah, yah. A couple of years now.
It's actually Eden Prairie,
that school district.
So, Chief Gunderson, then!
So, you married
- Oh, yah. Long time ago.
- Great. Great.
So, uh, what brings you down...
Are you down here on that homicide,
if you're allowed to discuss that?
Oh, yah, yah. But there's not
a heck of a lot to discuss.
Well, what about you, Mike?
Are you married? You got kids?
Yah, yah. Well...
I was married. I was married to...
You mind if I sit over here?
- I was married to Linda Cooksey.
- No, why not sit over there? I prefer that.
Huh? Oh. Oh. Uh...
- Oh, no, no. Just so I can see ya.
- Don't have to turn my neck.
- Oh, sure, sure. I understand.
- I didn't mean to...
- No, no.
Yah. Sorry. Uh, sorry.
So, I was married to Linda Cooksey. You
remember her. She was a year behind us.
Yeah, I think I remember her.
Yeah. She... Oh, yeah, yeah.
So it didn't work out, huh?
And then I've been working
for Honeywell for a few years now.
- Oh, well, they're a good outfit.
- If you're an engineer, you can do worse.
But it's not, uh...
It's nothing like your achievement.
Oh, well, it sounds like
you're doing really super.
It's not that things didn't work out.
It's, uh... uh...
Linda had leukaemia, you know.
She was a... She passed away.
- It was tough.
- There you go.
It was long, uh...
She fought real hard, Marge.
What can you say?
Oh. Better times, huh?
Oh, and then I saw ya on the TV
and I remembered, you know,
I always liked you.
- Well, I always liked you, Mike.
- I always liked you so much.
So, Mike, should we
get together another time?
No! I... I...
I'm sorry. It's...
I shouldn't have done this.
I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't.
- I thought we'd have a really terrific time.
- It's OK, Mike.
You were such a super lady.
And then... I've been so lonely.
(whispers) It's OK, Mike.
(man) Here's a song I dedicate
to all the ladies out here tonight.
It goes like this.
# Let's find each other tonight
# Everything will be all right
# Don't hesitate now
# Let's find each other tonight...
So, are you from around here?
Just in town on business.
Just in and out.
Just a little of the old "in and out".
What do you do?
Um, have you been to the Celebrity Room
before with other, uh, clients?
I don't think so. It's nice.
Yeah, well, it depends on the artist.
You know, Josť Feliciano,
you got no complaints.
Is he deaf?
So, uh, how long you work for
the escort service?
I don't know. A few months.
Find that work interesting, do you?
What are you talkin' about?
Come on. I'm hearing bells.
Come on, huh?
All right. Where were ya?
(gasps, then screams)
Shep, what the hell you doin'?
I'm bangin' that girl. Ow!
Fucking asshole! Get the fuck outta here!
Put me back in Stillwater, you little
fucking shithead. Get the fuck outta here!
(man) Yo! Cut that shit out, man. I'm
trying to get some goddamn sleep here.
- Come on, brother.
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you.
- Argh! Animals!
- Animals! Animals!
- Stay away from me, man.
Hey, smoke a fucking peace pipe!
Wait! Don't you dare fucking hit me!
- Fucking little weasel. Fuck you, man.
- Ow! Stop it!
You fucking, motherfucking,
son-of-a-bitching, fucking cock!
You fucking shitbag motherfucker!
- Jerry, I'm through fucking around.
- You got the fucking money?
- Yah, I got the money, but...
Don't you fucking "but" me/ Meet me
at the Radisson parking ramp, minutes,
- and we wrap this thing up.
- OK, but, um...
You're there in minutes or I shoot you,
your fucking wife and all your children.
And I shoot 'em in the back of their heads.
- OK, you stay away from Scotty now.
- Got it?
OK. Real good, then.
- It's OK, Scotty.
- Where you goin'?
I'll be back in a minute.
If Stan calls, you just tell him
I went to Embers.
OK. Here's your damn money.
Now where's my daughter?
You goddamn punk!
Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck are you?!
I've got your damn money.
Where's my daughter?
I am through fucking around.
Drop that fucking briefcase!
- Where's my daughter?
- Fuck you, man! Where's Jerry?
I gave simple fucking instructions!
Where's my damn daughter?
No Jean, no money.
- Drop that fucking money!
- No Jean, no money!
Is this a fucking joke here?
You happy now, asshole?
What's with you people?
You fucking imbeciles.
You fucking shot me!
May I have your ticket, please?
Open the fucking gate!
Stan Grossman called.
- Yeah, OK.
Is... is everything OK?
Are you callin' Stan?
I'm going to bed now.
- How ya doin'?
- Mr Mohra?
- Officer Olson.
Well, so I'm tendin' bar down there
at Ecklund and Swedlin's last Tuesday.
This little guy's drinkin' and he says
"Where can a guy find some action?"
"I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake."
I says "What kind of action?" He says
"Woman action. What do I look like?"
And I says "What do I look like?
I don't arrange that kind of thing."
He says "I'm goin' crazy at the lake." And
I says "But this ain't that kind of place."
He says "Oh, I get it.
So you think I'm a jerk for askin'?"
Only he don't use the word "jerk".
Then he calls me a jerk.
Says the last guy who thought he was
a jerk is dead now, so I don't say nothin'.
He says "What d'you think of that?" I says
"Don't sound like a good deal for him."
- You got that right!
- Says "Guy's dead, and not of old age."
Then he says "Jeez,
I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake."
White Bear Lake?
Ecklund and Swedlin's closer to
Moose Lake, so I made that assumption.
Anyway, he's drinkin' at the bar,
so I don't think a great deal of it.
But Mrs Mohra heard about the homicides
down here and thought I should call it in,
so... I called it in.
End of story.
- What did this guy look like, anyways?
- Oh, he's a little guy, kinda funny-lookin'.
- Uh-huh. In what way?
- Oh, just in a general kind of way.
OK, thanks. You're right, it's probably
nothin', but thanks for callin' her in.
- Looks like she'll turn cold tomorrow.
- Oh, yah. Got a front comin' in.
Yah, you got that right.
I'm leavin' this morning, back to Brainerd.
- Well, I'm sorry I won't see ya.
- Mm. But you think he's all right?
- I saw him last night and...
- What did he say?
It's nothing specific. It just seemed like
it all hit him really hard, his wife dyin'...
- His wife?
- Linda Cooksey.
No. No, no, they weren't...
He was bothering Linda for a year, really
pestering her. Wouldn't leave her alone.
He didn't... They never...
No. No, they never married.
- Mike's had psychiatric problems.
- Oh, my.
Yah. He's been struggling.
He's living with his parents now.
- Oh, jeez.
- Linda's fine. You should call her.
Jeez. Well... jeez.
That's a surprise.
Mr Lundegaard. Sorry to
bother you again. Can I come in?
Yah. No, I'm kinda... I'm kinda busy here.
I understand. I'll keep it real short, then.
I'm on my way outta town,
but I was wondering...
- Mind if I sit down? Carryin' a load here.
- No. I...
It's this vehicle I asked you about.
I was wondering...
Yah, like I told ya,
we haven't had any vehicles go missing.
OK. Are ya sure?
Cos, I mean, how do you know?
The perpetrators were driving a car with
dealer plates and called someone here,
so it would be quite a coincidence
if they weren't, you know, connected.
- Yah, I see.
- So how do you...
- Have you done an inventory recently?
- The car's not from our lot, ma'am.
- How can you be sure without doin' a...
- Well, I would know.
- I'm the executive sales manager.
- Yah, but I understand...
- We run a pretty tight ship here.
- I know, but how do they establish that?
Are the cars counted daily,
or what kind of a routine here?
Ma'am! I answered your question.
- I'm sorry, sir?
- Ma'am, I answered your question.
I answered the darn...
I'm cooperating here, and there's no...
Sir, you have no call to get snippy
with me. I'm just doing my job here.
I'm not... I'm not arguin' here.
I'm cooperating and there's no...
We're doin' all we can.
Sir, could I talk to Mr Gustafson?
Well, heck! If you wanna...
if you wanna play games here...
I'm workin' with ya
on this thing here, but...
OK, I'll do a damn lot count.
- Sir, right now?
- Yah, right now.
You're darned tootin'.
If it's so damned important to ya.
Well, I'm sorry, sir.
Ah, what the Christ. Jesus!
(gasps) Oh, for Pete's sake.
For Pete's sake, he's fleein' the interview.
He's fleein' the interview!
How do I get an outside line here?
Yah, Detective Sibert, please.
(man) I said it was over.
I made myself clear.
Oh, you did. You made yourself
perfectly clear, but something's come up.
- It's something kind of small,
but it might be a big problem.
- I'm pregnant.
I've had a doctor's test and there's no
doubt about it. I'm gonna have your baby.
You should see the other guy.
What the fuck happened to her?
Oh, she started shriekin', you know.
Well, I got the money.
All of it. All grand.
That's for you. for me.
That's it, then.
You can have my truck.
I'm takin' the Ciera.
We split that.
How the fuck do you split a fuckin' car,
you dummy? With a fuckin' chain saw?
One of us pays the other for half.
Hold on. No fuckin' way.
Did you fuckin' notice this?
I got fuckin' shot!
I got fuckin' shot in the face.
I went and got the fuckin' money.
I got shot fuckin' pickin' it up.
I've been up for fuckin' hours.
I'm takin' that fuckin' car.
That fucker's mine, you fuckin' asshole.
I've had to listen to
your fuckin' bullshit all week.
Are we square?
Are we square?
Yeah, you fuckin' mute.
If you see your friend Shep Proudfoot,
tell him I'm gonna nail his fuckin' ass.
(Lou) His wife, this guy says,
was kidnapped last Wednesday.
- The day of our homicides.
- And this guy was who?
- Lundegaard's father-in-law's accountant.
- Gustafson's accountant?
- But we still haven't found Gustafson?
- Sorry. Didn't copy, Lou.
- Still missing. We're looking.
- Copy. And Lundegaard, too?
- Yah. Where are ya, Margie?
I'm almost back.
I'm takin' a drive round Moose Lake.
- Oh, Gary's loudmouth.
- Yah, the loudmouth.
So the whole state has it, huh?
Gustafson and Lundegaard.
Yah, it's over the wire. They'll find them.
- Yah, we got a lead on a...
- There's the car! There's the car!
- Whose car?
My car! My car! Tan Ciera. Tan Ciera.
OK. Careful, Margie.
I'll send a couple of cars.
(whirring gets louder)
So that was Mrs Lundegaard
on the floor in there?
And I guess that was your accomplice
in the wood chipper.
And those three people in Brainerd.
And for what?
For a little bit of money.
There's more to life
than a little money, you know.
Don't you know that?
And here y'are.
- And it's a beautiful day.
I just don't understand it.
Outside of Bismarck, North Dakota
- (man) Who?
- Mr Anderson.
Is this your burgundy ' out here?
- Just a sec.
- Could you open the door, please?
Yah, yah, just a sec.
Just a sec.
They announced it.
- They announced it?
- Your mallard?
Oh, that's terrific.
- It's just the three-cent.
- It's terrific.
Hautmans' blue-winged teal
got the -cent.
People don't much use the three-cent.
Oh, for Pete's sake, of course they do.
Whenever they raise the postage,
people need the little stamps.
When they're stuck with
a bunch of the old ones.
Yah, I guess.
It's terrific. I'm so proud of you, Norm.
Heck, Norm, you know,
we're doin' pretty good.
I love you, Margie.
I love you, Norm.
Two more months.
Two more months.