Father Of The Bride Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Father Of The Bride script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Steve Martin and Diane Keaton movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Father Of The Bride. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Father Of The Bride Script





I used to think a wedding

was a simple affair.



Boy and girl meet.

They fall in love. He buys a ring.



She buys a dress.

They say, "l do."



I was wrong.

That's getting married.



A wedding is an entirely

different proposition.



I know.

I've just been through one.



Not my own,

my daughter's--



Annie Banks-MacKenzie.



That's her married name--




I'll be honest with you.



When I bought this house    years ago,

it cost less than this blessed event...



in which Annie Banks

became Annie Banks-MacKenzie.



I'm told that one day

I'll look back on all this...



with great affection

and nostalgia.



I hope so.



You fathers will understand.



You have a little girl...



an adorable little girl

who looks up to you...



and adores you in a way

you could never have imagined.



I remember how her little hand

used to fit inside mine...



how she used to lover to sit on my lap

and lean her head against my chest.



She said I was her hero.



Then the day comes when she wants

to get her ears pierced...



and wants you to drop her off a block

before the movie theatre.



Next thing you know, she's

wearing eye shadow and high heels.



From that moment on

you're in a constant state of panic.



You worry about her going out

with the wrong kind of guys...



the kind of guys

who only want one thing.



And you know exactly

what that one thing is...



because it's the same thing you wanted

when you were their age.



Then she gets a little older...



and you quit worrying about her

meeting the wrong guy...



and you worry about her

meeting the right guy.



And that's the biggest fear

of all because...



then you lose her.



And before you know it, you're sitting

all alone in a big, empty house...



wearing rice on your tux,

wondering what happened to your life.



It was just six months ago

that it happened here.



Just six months ago

that the storm broke.



Annie had been studying

for her masters in architecture...



for the past semester in Rome.



I remember I was at work,

walking through the factory.



I own a company called Sidekicks.

We manufacture athletic shoes.



Anyway, I remember

how preoccupied I was that day.



- I'm sorry, Mr Banks.

- My fault, Grace.



Annie had never been that far away from

home, and she was due back any minute.



I couldn't wait

to see the kid.



George, she landed.



My daughter has been studying abroad,

been flying for    hours.



I'm not wild about her being

in the air. You have kids, Juan.



You understand. It's-lt's better

when they're on the ground.



I've always been

a concerned parent.



I'm big on car seats,

seat belts, bedtimes, curfews...



calling when you get somewhere,

never running with a sharp object.



- Hi, George.

- What can I say? I'm a father.



- Worrying comes with the territory.

- Is Nina picking her up at the airport?



- Yeah.

- And you're gonna meet them?



Yeah. Yeah,

I'm going home right now.



I, uh-- My keys are--



- Here.

- Oh, yeah. Sorry.



- And sign this.

- Okay.



- Hat.

- Okay, thanks. Now-- Oh!



- Okay. Bye.

- Bring her by.



I left work early because I had

a little something to pick up

for Annie's homecoming.



We live in a small town in

Southern California called San Marino.



I love this town, and not

just because it's the kind of place...



where people still

smile at each other...



- Bye.

- but because it hasn't changed much

in the past    years.



And since I'm not a guy who's big on

change, this town fits me like a glove.



I got Annie's ten-speed

all cleaned up and polished.



New seats, new tyres.

I couldn't wait to show it to her.



This is our house.

   Maple Drive.



Annie was just in grammar school

when we bought it.



A few years later, we got

a surprise package-- our son Matt.



I love this house.

I love that I taught my kids...



to ride their bikes

in the driveway.



I love that I slept with them

in tents in the backyard.



I love that we carved our initials

in the tree out front.



This house is warm in the winter,

cool in the summer...



and looks spectacular

with Christmas lights.



It's a great house,

and I never want to move.



But the think I think

I like best about this house...



are the voices I hear

when I walk through the door.



- Hey. Hi. You got out early.

- Hi.



- Where is she?

- Oh, she's, uh, unpacking.



She looks-- She looks so fabulous,

just fabulous. Different.



- Anyway, she can't wait to see you.

- Different.



- Ciao, Papa.

- Hey.



Annie brought me this candy bar

all the way from Rome.



Let's not get it

on our American furniture.



Matty. The high tops.



- Hey, grazie.

- Hey, you're welcome.



- What do you mean, different?

- Oh.



- Annie.

- Hi, Dad.



Hey, hey, hey!



- God, I missed you.

- You look all lit up inside.



Oh, I feel

all lit up inside.



- Maybe we should go to Rome

for a few months, honey.

- Oh, you two would love it.



It's the most romantic place

on Earth.



- You smell pretty good too.

- Oh, you like it? It was a present.



Doesn't she look incredible?

I almost didn't recognize her.



Come on. Dinner's on the stove.

Honey, you wanna come?



Oh, Mom, I had this pasta in Florence.

I forget what it's called.



All right. Now that

we're all back under one roof...



we have some very important items

to discuss.



First on the list: Who wants to go

to the Laker game on Thursday?



- Oh.

- Me. Definitely yes.



Okay, and with

your busy schedule too.



Honey, I can't. I have

inventory to do that night.



- Aw.

- Uh, Thursday, sure. Absolutely.



- Okay.

- Matty, could you use your fork?



Number two: Paul Simon

is coming to the Forum...



and I think I can

get us great seats.



- Um, yeah, sure.

- All right. Paul Simon's

an "um, yeah, sure..."



which I believe

translates to a yes?



- All right. I'll call that guy.

- Um, honey?



Could you please get that

bottle of wine in the fridge for me?



- Sure.

- Dad, wait. Um, I don't know.



- You don't want to see Paul Simon?

- No, l-l do. It's just, um--



- Well, what is it?

- Well--



- Honey, is something going on?

- Yes.



Yeah, it is, Mom. Uh-- God, this is

a hard thing to tell parents.



Especially when they're

my parents. Oh, God.



Honey, just say it.

What's the big deal?



- Yeah.

- Okay.



I met somebody in Rome.

Um, he's an American.



Uh, he's from L.A., actually,

and, um, his name's Bryan MacKenzie.



And he's this

completely wonderful...



wonderful, amazing man, and--



Well, we, we started

seeing each other...



a lot, and, um...



we fell in love.



It actually happened.

And, uh...



we've decided to get married

which means that I'm engaged!



I'm engaged!

I'm getting married!



- Congratulations.

- Thank you.



Well, my, my.



Oh, so-- Oh, my. And that's

your engagement ring, huh?



Yes, yes! We got it

at a flea market outside of Rome.



The guy we bought it from said

it was at least     years old.



- Wow.

- So, Dad. Stop it. Say something.



I-l'm sorry.

What did you say?



Dad, I met a man in Rome,

and he's wonderful...



and brilliant,

and we're getting married.



- Mom, what's he doing?

- George.



George, what is it?



Well. This is-- This--



This is ridiculous.



- What?

- You're-- You're-- You're

too young to get married.



Too young? Dad, I'm   .

If I'm not mistaken...



that's, that's a year older

than Mom was when you guys got married.



- That is absolutely not true.

- Oh, no, you-- Ha!



You're absolutely wrong.



- You were this age when I married you?

- No! I was younger.



I was this age

when she was born.



That-- That-- That doesn't matter.

Times have changed.



You mother was mature, and, uh,

   isn't what it used to--



Matty, would you turn on

the air conditioner? It's hot in here.



I thought-- I thought you didn't

believe in marriage.



I thought that it meant

that a woman lost her identity.



I-l thought you wanted to get a job

before you settled down...



so you could earn money

and be your own person.



All right. Hold on.



I didn't think I believed

in marriage until I met Bryan.



And Bryan's not like any other guy

I've ever known.



I want to be married to him.



And I'm not gonna lose

my identity with him...



because he's not

some overpowering, macho guy.



I mean, he's like you, Dad,

except he's brilliant.



He happens to love the fact

that I want to be an architect.



He wants me to design

a house for us to live in.



He said he'd move

anywhere I got a job.



Give me a little credit, George.



I'm not gonna marry some ape

who wants me to wear...



go-go boots and an apron.



I'm telling you you'll love him.

He's a genius.



And sweet.



And l-- I love him more

than anything in the world.



- What does Bryan do?

- Who's Bryan?



- I forgot his name!

- He's an independent

communications consultant.



- Independent?

- Yes.



Yeah. That's code for "unemployed." This

is perfect. You meet an unemployed...



amazingly brilliant non-ape

that I'm going to have to support.



I suppose I'm going to have to hire him

and fire some hard-working guy...



with three kids

because my son-in-law--



the, the independent

communications consultant--



can't get a job anywhere else.



No wonder he'll move

anywhere you get a job.



You're not getting married,

and that's it, and that's final.



And I don't like you calling me George.

I mean, when did this start?



Daddy, what is wrong with you?



What? You're telling me

you're happy about this ?



George, please, will you stop

acting like a lunatic father...



and go out and talk to her

before she runs out that door...



marries this kid

and we never see her again?



All right.



"Kid." How do you know he's a kid?

He could be    years old.



An independent

communications consultant...



does not mean

he's an unemployable non-ape.



Bryan happens to be

a computer genius.



Companies send him all over the world

hooking up these complex systems.



Major banks and corporations

send him to, to Tokyo...



and Brazil and Geneva.



I mean, he's--

He's a genius.



You mentioned that.

How old is this genius?



Twenty-six, not forty-five.



You guys still think I can't hear you

when you're one room away.



If you love him so much,

I know I'll love him too.



- Bryan?

- Mackenzie.



Bryan MacKenzie.



- Yeah.

- I can't wait to meet him.



Good, 'cause he'll be here

in an hour to meet you.



I suppose you're not in the mood

for a little one-on-one?



- Daddy, I'm wearing heels.

- Come to the right place.



I've got sunshine



On a cloudy day



When it's cold outside



I've got the month of May



-He's got it behind the back. The crowd

is going wild. The crowd is going wild.

-I guess



- It's-- It's--

- You say



What can make me feel this way



My girl, my girl

my girl



- Talkin' 'bout my girl

- Hey!



My girl, ooh-ooh



Hey, hey, hey



- Hey, hey, hey

- Yes.



- Dad!

- Yes!



Oh, travelling!



I don't need no money



Fortune or fame



I got all the riches, baby



- This is it. Eight up.

- One man can claim.



- Go.

- Ready?



Well, I guess



- You'll say

- Hold on.

- No!



- What can make me feel this way

- Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

No, no, no, no. No!



My girl, my girl

my girl



- Talkin' 'bout my girl

- Yes!



My girl

Talkin' 'bout my girl



- I've got sunshine on a cloudy day

- All right.



With my girl



I've even got the month of May



You're not really getting married,

are you?



Dad, stop!



- So can you see him?

What does he look like?

- He just drove up.






He drove too fast.



Well, wait. So, George,

you want to meet him?



Do I want to meet him?



- Oh, hello. Hi.

- Hello, I'm Brian MacKenzie.



Good. I'm Nina Banks.



Yes. Yes, I recognize you

from your picture.



- Yes, come in, please.

- The one Annie had with her in Rome.



- Yes. Oh, good. Come in.

- Okay. Hello, Mr Banks.



It was the first time I ever

hated the sound of my own name.



- Hi.

- I've heard so much about you.



It's great

to finally meet you, sir.



"Sir." Two words

now crossed my mind:



"brown" and "nose."



Annie talks about you so much,

I feel like I already know you.



- Bryan.

- Oh, Annie.



- So this is him.

- Oh, he's just-- Uh, just.



A little nervous. Just like one

of those situations you read about...



you know,

meeting the in-laws.



But you two seem great. I'm sure

I have nothing to be nervous about.



But, uh, still, l--



Let's, let's, uh, uh,

go into the, uh, uh, the, uh--



The-- uh-- Great.



- I think he's adorable.

- I don't like him.



- Oh, George, for God--

- He's wearing Nikes.



- Mom, where's Matty?

- Oh, he fell asleep watching TV.



- Oh, well, you'll meet him tomorrow.

- Okay.



- Sit down.

- So.



Um, how did you two, uh, meet?



Oh. We were the only two people

at this revival house in Rome...



for a midnight showing

of Bringing Up Baby.



- We kept hearing each other laugh.

- And at all the same places.



Yeah. When it was over,

I picked him up.



Oh, no, no, no. I went over

to you to ask directions...



and then one thing

led to another and--



And that was it.

For the next three months...



we never left

each other's sight.



We went to all these museums,

all these great concerts, the opera.



We travelled to the country. Remember

that place we stayed in Tuscany?



Oh, with the, uh--



- Uh, suffice it to say,

it was not a four-star hotel.

- No.



You have a very brave daughter.



Bryan, um, what is it exactly

that you do?



Annie was saying

something about computers.



Uh, yes, uh, I'm an independent

communications consultant.



Yeah, yeah,

that part I heard.



Sounds fake, right?

Like it's not a real job?



- No, we wouldn't say that. No.

- That's what my dad said...



when he first heard

what I was doing.



But, um, what it is,

uh, in this case:



Uh, Pacific lnternational Bank

sent me to Rome to hook up...



the X-Dot connection

to their European subsidiary.



Um-- Uh, all European computers, uh,

communicate on the Dot    network.



And, uh, since Pacific lnternational

is an L.A.-based firm...



they wanted to interface with standard

European protocol, so I set 'em up.



And, uh, why are you, uh, independent?

What was that?



Because no one can afford

to keep him on staff.



Well, I guess that's true,

basically, but, uh--



You know, driving down here,

I tried to put myself in your place.



Your daughter comes home

after spending four months in Rome...



a-and I'm sure you couldn't wait

to see her, and she shocks you...



with the news

that she's getting married.



And to somebody

you've never met before.



I'm sure that

must've been pretty...



um, heavy...



to use a word

from your generation.



I just wanna say

that I'm an upstanding citizen.



I've-l've never been

engaged before.



I've, uh, never really

been in love before.



And, uh, I think Annie's

the greatest person I've ever met.



And I can't wait

to marry her and...



one day have children

and grandchildren.



And I'm gonna do my best

to be supportive of her dreams.

And she's a very gifted architect.



Um-- I'm just thrilled

that I met her.



I love your daughter.



And the feelings that I have for her

are never gonna change.



And I'm here to stay.



- Oh, honey.

- Mom.



I'm so happy for you.



That's okay, Mr Banks,

We don't have to hug.



- Well, uh, maybe later.

- I know.



Well, that was just, um--

That was just the best thing

I've ever heard anybody say.



- Oh. Good.

- Well, I meant it.



Listen, I want to take Bryan out

for a drive, show him around San Marino.



- Okay, honey. Good.

- Annie, it's a little nippy out.



- You might want to put on a sweater.

- Oh, Dad, it's okay. I'm kinda warm.



Still, there's a chill in the air,

and you've been on a plane.



- Dad, I'm fine.

- Annie, it is kinda cold out.



- It is?

- Yeah.



- All right, thanks. I'll get my jacket.

- All right.



Right then, I realized

my day had passed.



She'll always love me, of course,

but not in the same way.



I was no longer the man

in my little girl's life.



I was like an old shoe,

the kind we manufacture...



and get all excited about and then

after a few years discontinue.



That was me now:

Mr Discontinued.



Mom? Don't wait up, okay?

We might stop for a cappuccino.



Oh, okay, fine.

Well, good night, Bryan.



Good night.

Um, good night, Mr Banks.



Oh, you can call him George,

or Dad.



- George will be fine.

- Okay. Uh--



I'll say it next time I see you.



Drive carefully, and don't forget

to fasten your condom.



- Dad!

- Seat belt!



I meant-- I meant

seat belt.



Um, I'm putting your father to bed.

This has been a very big night for him.



- Bye.

- Okay.

- Well, good night.



- Have fun.

- Bye.

- Good night.



- Bye.

- Bye-bye. Have fun.

- Bye.



This is a great kid.



- It'll never last.

- Wanna bet?



Nina, Annie's much too spirited

for this kid.



He's totally wrong for her.

I give it two months, tops. One month.



This is the right guy for Annie, George.

I'm telling you, I feel it in my bones.



- I mean, we're two lucky parents.

We are.

- Lucky? Oh!



What about his laugh? It was such

a giveaway. It was so phoney with his--



- I thought it was totally sincere.

- Oh, please.



What about that little rehearsed speech

he gave? It was right out of a book.



How To Grease Your Future




You're off here, George,

really. I thought it was

completely from his heart.



- Why do you think I cried?

- Good question.



I don't know why either of you cried.

I'm losing my voice.



- Are my glands swollen or something?

- Let me see. No. No, honey, no.



And what about

the way he kept touching her?



- What do you mean?

- What do you mean what do I mean?



- He could-- He couldn't

keep his hands off her.

- Oh, yes. Kind of like...



when we were engaged, except that

wasn't all you couldn't keep off me.



That was different.

And we certainly never

acted that way in your parents' house.



Ah! You want me to name all the rooms

we did it in at my parents' house?



That was different.

We were like two imbeciles.



- This is our child we're talking about.

- Our child? Oh, George.



You know, I still think you see Annie

as a seven-year-old in pigtails.



Well, you know, that just shows

how much you know about me...



because that is not at all

how I see her.



Right, a seven-year-old

with pigtails.



I mean, here's the thing: We have

no idea who this Bryan really is.



- Oh. Uh-huh.

- I mean, if that's his real name.

I mean, who knows?



You know, maybe he already has a wife.

You read about these cases every day--



you know, men who have wives and

families stashed all across the country.



I mean, he could be a professional

con artist who meets innocents abroad...



and gives them this song and dance about

being an independent whatever that was.



And then skips out after bilking them

for all they're worth.



- Wh-What are you doing?

- I'm getting ready for bed.



You know, then I suppose you're not

interested that I believe

I remember seeing someone...



who looked like Bryan's twin

on America's Most Wanted.



You're right.

I'm not.






George, l-l thought he was great.



I liked him a lot.

And I'm really ha-- Ann--



George, will you please stop making

that face? I'm very happy for Annie.



I'm excited for her.

This is a big deal.



I think that we should

at least hug.



This is great news.



Oh, a wedding.



Father of the bride.

Can you believe it?



Forty-eight hours later,

the wedding was still on...



and we were on our way to Bel-Air

to meet Bryan's folks.



I don't know why we have to have

brunch with total strangers.



Because their son is marrying

our daughter and it's not

an unusual custom meeting the in-laws.



You know, that's another thing.

I hate that expression: in-laws.



What does it mean anyway?

We're legally bound to these people?



I don't wanna be "in-lawed," especially

to people who live in Bel-Air.



I mean, what kind of people

have brunch and live in Bel-Air?



Rich people.



They probably live in the one shack

in the middle of all these mansions.



- Nice mood, George.

- What? I'm in a good mood.



Okay, I think this is it.




- Nice shack, babe.

- Worse. It's the biggest house

on the street.



Now we're related to

pretentious snobs. Just what we need.



You look very handsome, George,

way too young to be in-lawed.



Well, it really shouldn't matter

how I look. We're not here

to win their approval.



Just because you

changed your outfit five times.



Oh, and you didn't try on

nine different shirts?



- Two.

- Two.



Two long-sleeve,

two short-sleeve.



- Hi!

- George, Nina, welcome.



- Hi, nice to meet you.

- I'm John.



- How do you do?

- Hi, I'm Joanna.



- Welcome. Come in, please.

- Welcome to our house. Come on in.



- Come in.

- Thank you so much. Well.



All I could think about

was the size of this place.



We could've parked our whole house

in the foyer.



Ah, what a nerve-racking thing,

meeting your future in-laws.



- Yeah.

- What a relief. You two

look perfectly normal.



Oh, well, I am.



I have to tell you,

we got so nervous about today...



about meeting the two of you,

l-l must've tried

on three different outfits.



- Oh.

- I changed my shirt four times.



- Can you imagine anyone

being that jerky?

- Oh, I know.



So, come on in. I thought

we'd have lunch in here.



- Oh, what a great room.

- Marta.

- Thank you, Marta.



Marta, estos son nuestros in-laws,

George and Nina Banks.



- Hello.

- How do you do? Hi.



Oh, and here's

the rest of our family.



Oh, don't worry. They look like killers,

but they're actually quite friendly.



As long as you're relaxed,

why, they're relaxed.



Hi, puppy, puppy, puppy.

Why, you're--



All right, fellas, that's enough.

Go on. Release! Good boys.



- Well, why don't we all sit down.

- Please.



- Oh, thank you.

- All right. Here we go.



- George. Honey.

- Thank you, sweetheart.



I don't know if the kids told you, but

we were over in Europe on business...



and we stopped in Rome

to see Bryan.



So we got to spend a few days

with Annie. Oh, boy!



- We just fell in love

with her immediately.

- Isn't she great?



Yes. We just couldn't

be happier about this.



How did you, uh,

take the news, George?






Uh, truthfully, uh, I was

a little surprised.



- I was shocked.

- So was l.



After all, they'd only known each other

a few months.



Exactly. And Annie's

just finishing up school.



Absolutely. Oh, believe me,

I tossed and turned over this one...



but the bottom line

is they're in love.



They're over    and whether they're

rushing into this or not...



may be not for us to say.



Right. "Not for us to say."

We're only their parents.



I was about to say these very words

out loud when he hit me with--



Yeah, sooner or later,

you just have to let your kids go...



and hope you

brought 'em up right.



George. Nina. Darling.



This guy was making

a little too much sense for me.



Suddenly my shirt collar felt like

it was starting to strangle me.



To George and Nina...



and a future

of wonderful memories.



First, the wedding

of our children...



and the happiness we'll share

watching their lives.



Then sharing the joy

of our grandchildren together.



Birthday parties,




Now I knew where they got the

expression "like father, like son."



- I also knew I needed some air.

- Can you tell me where the restroom is?



Oh, actually, the one down here

is a mess. We're remodelling.



Uh, why don't you try

the one at the top of the stairs?

It's the seventh door on the left.



- Second?

- Seventh.



- Seventh.

- Seventh.



I'm leaving.

I'm relaxed, and I'm leaving.






Re-- Recoil.






- Well, I hope George hasn't

gotten lost up there.

- Oh, no, he's gonna be fine.






Well, um--

Such a lovely sculpture.



Oh. Doesn't it have a wonderful

sense of motion?



We got it in Denmark. All the-- Quite

a lot of my family's from Copenhagen.



- Is that right?

- Oh, yeah. Doesn't it have

a wonderful sense of balance?



- Oh, it's amazing.

- I was going to put it in the garden.



Well, actually, uh, uh, Bryan spent

quite a few summers in Denmark.



Uh, he now speaks

better Danish than, than Joanna.



N-- Is that a fact?



And we're planning a trip

back this summer.



I think this is

a very beautiful spread here.



- Oh, thank you.

- Well, shall--

should we wait for George?



- Maybe I should, uh, check on George.

- No.



- Release!

- Oh, man.



Wow. No kidding?

Really? It went great?



Uh, better than great. I mean, it, just,

just couldn't have gone better.



God, I'm so relieved.



I mean, who knows what can happen

at these things, you know?



- This is great.

- Now I feel like the wedding's

officially on.



Um, Dad, that looks so good.

This looks great.



Um, Bryan's mom called with the names

of her immediate family.



- Is this a joke?

- Not only is it not a joke...



but eight of them are

from Copenhagen and well...



it's the bride's family's

responsibility to--



Do you have any idea what

a round-trip ticket from Denmark costs?



Try eight round-trip tickets.



Well, actually, it's nine.



You see, Joanna's,

uh, cousin Gitte...



is apparently a rather large woman

so she needs two seats.



She can lop over into the aisle for all

I care 'cause there's no way I'm pay--



Hi, everyone.

Sorry I'm late.



- Hi.

- That's okay.

- How're you doing? Hi.



- Hello.

- Hey, dude.

- Hi.



- Oh. Here you are.

- Oh. Well, thank you.



- It's "you're welcome" in Danish.

- Ah, thanks.



This looks great. I hear you're

a whiz at the barbecue, Dad.



Well. So have you two given any thought

to what kind of wedding you want?



- Well, we've talked about it.

- Yes, and what do you think?



Big? Small? Or--



Well, it can't be too big.

We don't have that many friends.



So we're talking

in the small vicinity, then?



Well, no, she didn't say "small."

She said not too big.



Yeah, but nothing fancy

or overblown, right?



- Right.

- Right.



So kind of the "less is more"

theory, huh, Annie?



- Basically.

- The reason I'm asking all these

questions is I have a great idea...



where we can have this lovely,

not small but not too big wedding.



You do? Where?



At our favourite restaurant, the place

we've been eating at for    years.



The best.

The Steak Pit.



- Dad, get serious.

- I don't think

you want the word "pit"...



on a wedding invitation,




Really, Dad, a rib joint

with sawdust on the floor...



isn't exactly what I had in mind

for my wedding.



- No offence.

- Well, excuse me.



What did you have in mind,

the Beverly Hills Hotel?



No. Actually, what I'd like

is to have...



my wedding in a church

and have the reception here.



- Oh.

- That's what I was hoping for.






Don't I have

the greatest Dad in the world?



- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi.



- Can we have some burgers?

- Okay, here's the bride burger

and your groom burger.



And, uh, enjoy 'em. Now, go on

over there and see the jugglers.



My dream wedding,

a barbecue wedding.



- This is a better idea

than the Steak Pit.

- Yeah.



We'll get some, uh, picnic tables

and, uh, crepe paper and balloons.



You know, invite all our best pals.

I'll make my famous guacamole.



A wedding at home.

This is a great idea.



Great idea. Picnic tables, crepe paper,

balloons, you at the barbecue.



- Oh, George.

- What don't you like about that?



Why have you been

acting so crazy since the moment

Annie told you she was getting married?



You know, I haven't been acting crazy.

I've simply acted...



Iike any normal,

red-blooded American dad.



Normal? Uh-huh. Okay.

Falling in the MacKenzie's pool.



Suggesting the Steak Pit

as a wedding reception.



Oh, watching America's Most Wanted

every night, looking for Bryan's face.



And now this picnic scenario.

George, a wedding is a big deal!



Everybody seems to understand this

but you. And as a matter of fact--



N-Now don't go nuts when I tell

you this, but when Bryan's mom...



called with her list, she

suggested that they might just wanna...



pitch in and help

with the cost of the wedding.



You know, hey, we may not have a house

the size of Rhode lsland,

but we're not poverty-stricken.



We can certainly afford to give

our daughter a proper wedding.



Proper. Not you in a chef's hat,

right, George?



- Who said anything about a chef's hat?

When did this come up?

- Yes, but I know you.



I'm close. Oh, look.



I just really saw this

whole thing differently.



Like, I wanted to call a wedding

coordinator to make the whole thing...



really, really beautiful, and you want

to call Gabe at the Steak Pit.



Wait a minute. Wedding coordinator?

What's a wedding coordinator?



- A person who coordinates weddings.

- What's to coordinate?



Well, there's the invitations

and the flowers, the food,

the band, the photographer.



George, why are you

giving me that look again? A lot

of people hire wedding coordinators.



Nina, you and I run

successful businesses. We can certainly

pull together one smallish wedding.



- Yeah, okay.

- We don't need

some fancy wedding coordinator.



Okay, George, then

let's just forget it, okay? Because,

you know, I just really can't take this.



- I'm not used to all this

arguing, so just, uh--

- Fine. I don't want to argue.



Just-- Do me a favour, okay, George?

Just go on upstairs and I'll...



- finish up down here.

- Fine. Fine. I'll go upstairs.



However, I would like

to remind you what happened

to what's-his-name down the street.



His daughter got married and the thing

practically broke him. Remember?



- I remember.

- You and I could end up...



shuffling along the sidewalk

in our bathrobes.



- That was a joke.

- Hilarious.



Oh, all right. I'll go.

I'll meet the wedding coordinator.



You know I don't want to,

but I'll go...



if you still want me to go,

all right?



- Okay?

- Okay.



Now, let me do the talking,

girls, okay?



Well, I negotiate better than you.



- Now what's this guy's name?

- Franck.



- Frank.

- Franck.



- Franck?

- Franck.



- Franck. Franck. Franck.

- Oh, this is it.



Okay, here we go.



- Ah, Mom.

- No. No. This is just--



- Oh, my, Annie.

- This is amazing.



- Look. Look at this trim.

- What?



- Oh!

- Isn't this beautiful? Pearls.



- Oh!

- Oh, gee.



-Oh, wow. I love how they did this, Mom.




- Yeah?

- Do you like this place setting?



- Oh, it's beautiful.

- That china also comes...



in a wonderful Sara Lee yellow.



- Hi. You must be Franck?

- I wish.



I'm Franck's assistant,

Howard Weinstein.



-Well, I'm Nina Banks and this is Annie.




- Hi. Hi.

- Oh.

- The bride, and, uh...



- George, my husband.

- How do you do?



May I offer anyone any refreshments:

Pellegrino, espresso, champagne?



- Oh. Um, no. No.

- No.



I'll alert the boss that you're here.

Look around. Have fun.



Oh. Oh.

This is so great.



- Annie.

- Yeah?



- Oh! Wouldn't this be perfect for you?

- Oh, it's gorgeous!



Look how it goes with the crystal.

Oh, perfect.



Moster and Missus Banks

and de luffly bride. Hello.






I am Franck.

A plasure to mat you.



Howard's has affer you

sumding to drink, I hop.



- Oh, yes.

- Yes.

- Oh, the bride, the bride.



Right away, I realized this was

a mistake of gargantuan proportions.



This guy was going to coordinate

our wedding? How? With subtitles?






Okay, please come wit me and

we'll talk all about yer big day!




-The big day for de bride. Papala, coom.



Oh, seet down

on my own design.



I design that.

Very nice, I think.



Now, so, you have not

made up your list yet...



but you know that you want de wedding

at hom on Jawn-wary six, rit?



- Uh-huh. Yeah.

- Excuse me?



Yes, we would. We would like a wedding

at home on January the sixth.



Mmm, I luff the weddings

at the homs.



They're vary personable,

very varm 'n' cuzy, vary fabulous.



Oh, so, Jawn-wary six gif us

seven munths.



Uh-oh! Hello!

That's five munths!



Five munths not much!



But that don't bother me so much

because it's a little bit tight...



but we can do it and

it will be spak-takuler!



I saw you wurry a second.

Don't wurry 'bout dat.



So now, les see.



This is what I sugjoost. I sugjoost

that we select a keck furst.



- Okay.

- You know, cuz de keck...



vary often determun vhat kind

of wedding that you end up having.



So les just choose de keck,







- Choose-- Choose-- Choose the what ?

- The cake, Dad.



Thank you, der assistant.

Dis ees fun!



So dis ees a vary popular keck...



with the many of

the foshinable woddings, you know.



And this,

I jus don't do any more.



And this is fabulliz.



Oh! Oh!

That is incredible!



Annie, that's just like the one

we saw in the magazine.



Do you like it, Dad?



Well, what is that? ls that--

Is that dollars? $    ?



Vel, Moster Bonks,

dis ees a vary raisonable price...



for a keck of dis magnootud.



A cake, Franck, is made

of flour and water.



- My first car didn't cost $    

- George.



Well, welcome to the '  s,

Moster Bonks.



Not only did I not understand

a syllable this guy was saying...



now I had the feeling

he was putting me down.



Excuse me, um, Franck.



- Could we please have a second?

- Oh, of course!



Take two seconds. Howard,

letz return calls. Could we--



All right, George, what's the problem?

Do you want to leave?



- Do you?

- No. I like him.



I think he's going to make this

a beautiful wedding.



Don't look at me.

You guys decide.



Give the man a chance, George, please.

Annie, do you like this cake?



It is incredible, Dad.



- Well, all right.

But, look, let's just--

- I know.



We-- We're going to, George.

We're gonna hold things down.



- We just-- We won't go nuts.

- No. No.

- Thank you.



- Franck!

- Coming!



- We'll take the cake.

- Oh, good, good.



Don't worry, Moster Bonks. I'm gonna

bring de crew over to the house.



We gif everything that we haf

in the once-over department...



and then in the end you be

vary, vary happy, trust me.



- You just smile away.

Now, interesting idea.

- Yes.



Wit regard to thame and kolor

of de wedding, dis is how I see it:



I think we go vary elegant,

inside de tent, you know--



With one swift move,

I'd been cut out of the deal.



Annie, Nina and Franck

were in charge now.



...and bootiful china--



Now, spo! And crystal

to drop over dead for!



Old Dad was history.



- ...new machine to work now.

- A few days later, I was at work...



relieved for once not to be

talking about the wedding.



- I wore those    -trainers

over the weekend.

- They still stiff?



- I think they need a soft--

- Just back from the Orient, ladies,

and I got a new shipment.



Beautiful merchandise.

Gucci, Cartier, Louis Vuitton.



- I never heard of Louis Vuitton.

- I don't know.



He's big, darling, believe me, or they

wouldn't be knocking 'em off.



Don't worry, Mr Banks,

they're on a break.



- That's okay.

- George, Franck's office, line two.



Uh, maybe I could see those mockups

by Friday, then, Dave? Thanks.



This was the call I'd been dreading

since the moment I heard...



the words, "wedding coordinator."



- Hello.

- Mr Banks, this is Howard Weinstein...



Franck's executive assistant.



I have-- estimate for you.



- I can barely hear you!

- I'm in my car...



going through ...water Canyon.



- Call you back?

- No, no, no! l-l want the estimate.



How much?

What's the damage?



For everything from the flowers

to the honeymoon limo--



Okay, everything.

How much?



--dred --ifty head.



You're breaking up. It sounded like

you said     a head.



No! No!



- Good. I was about to kill myself.

- It's     a head.



- Get me Nina at work.

- She just called.



- I need the final headcount.

- She just gave it to me.



What is it? One-fifty?






$    a head means for the four of us to

attend this wedding in our own home...



will cost $    .



Therefore, we are not

getting up from this table...



until we cut this list down

to the bare minimum.



Now, invite as many people as you want

to the church, pack 'em in...



build a grandstand if you want,

but we are not having...



more than     people in this house

on the day of the wedding.



-All right. Now let's start eliminating.

-Okay, Jim Pepper and wife.



- Oh, great. Start with one of my guys.

- Fine. We'll start with one of mine.

I'll cut Steve and Stephanie Turrill.



- They're very good

clients of mine. They're--

- Say no more. They're history.



- All right. Jim Pepper and wife.

- I've known the guy for    years.



You haven't seen him

in    George.



All right. I'll say

I lost his address.



Now here's somebody-- your cousin Betsy,

the poet/waitress/picture framer.



We can't cut family.

They know about the wedding.



I only invited one person: Cameron.

Mom said I could have a friend there.



For     bucks, you can see Cameron

after the wedding.



All right. Very good.

Five down. We're rolling.



All right. What about Harry Kirby?

We haven't seen him in ages.



- I don't know.

- Didn't Harry Kirby die last year?



Yes! Good!



Oh, uh, sorry.



- Who's Franck Eggelhoffer?

- What?



He's coordinating the wedding,

and then we're not going to invite him?



Exactly! Do you think

I'm gonna pay a guy   %%%...



plus an hourly, plus an additional $   

to feed him and that assistant of his?



- Have you lost your mind?

- Can I put Cameron back on the list

if he promises not to eat?



You know, that's not a bad idea.

Who else can we ask not to eat?



My parents, your mother.



Why don't we just charge people? That

way we can make money on the wedding.



Annie. A--



I was kidding.



"How to give a beautiful wedding

on a small budget.



"Bake your own wedding cake.



"Find a good tailor and copy

a designer dress.



Have a friend take the pictures."



From that moment on, I decided

to shut my mouth and go with the flow.



My first move was to get

the old tuxedo out of mothballs.



Hey! Lookin' good, my man.



Get down! Hey!



What's new, pussycat

Whoa, whoa, whoa, oh



What's new, pussycat

Whoa, whoa, whoa



- Whoa, whoa

- George!



- Hey

- Annie, he's up here.



Pussycat, pussycat

I love you



'Deed I do



Yes, I do



Hey, what do you think?

Bought it in '   and it still fits.



- Like a glove.

- Yes. It's just, it's a real way to go.



Um, maybe--



Maybe you could get a new tux.

Uh, we're all wearing new clothes, and--



What? Don't you think I look cute?

I mean, there will be a lot

of single gals there.



- I'll get it.

- Oh, oh.



Oh, by the way. Good news.

The church is free.



- Oh, finally something is free.

- I meant available.



Oh, I like that. It's very good.






Oh, they've done the shutters. It's like

kind of an I Remember Mama touch.



Oh, it"s very nice.

We change it all though. Let's go.



Franck and his crew had arrived to

finalize all the details of the wedding.



First was an audition for a band singer.




Oh, oh




Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa



No wonder

Annie's happy heart sings



Bryan's love has given her wings




Like birds of a feather

A rainbow together--



Just as I was about to say, "Don't

call us, we'll call you," I heard...



Howard, we'll huf to move out all de

furniture to huf any sort of room to--



Oh. Dis is a nice statement.



It's lots of fun.

Mrs Bonks, one kvestion--



Howard, uh, Franck was saying something

about moving out the furniture.



We have to move it all out

if we're going to fit

more than     bodies in here.



- But what if someone wants to sit down?

- We bring in chairs.



Well, if you're bringing in chairs, then

why are you moving the furniture out?



Mr Bonks, I do dis for a loving,

you know? Trust me.



A movink van must tek everything out.



It's an extra expense. Oh, sure.

Yah, yah.



Bot we need it. Annie!



Mrs Bonks. Come this way, please.

So, vhat do you think of the zinger?



- We do have other choizes.

- I'd like to see 'em.



Good. That'll be no problem.



My caterer, everyone, and my best friend

in the whole world, Hanck Kucinetzki.






- Hi.

- Hi.



If I cud have a mewmunt of yer time

to discuss de monyo.



- "De monyo." "De monyo." Remind me?

The menu! Yes.

- No, the menu.



Onfortulley, Hanck doesn't

spake Anglish, so I will translit.



Franck, that'll--

that'll be a big help.



Dis is vhat Hanck sugjoost.

Fer the men kers, he vants to serf voll.



Oh, really?

I have a problem with that.



- With what?

- With veal. I keep reading...



there's a lot of inhumane treatment

in the way they treat the calves.



I read that too.

You're very chic. No voll.



So that leafs seafoot,

which is also chic.



Or fowl, which is not chic

but chip.



Cheap. Finally a word I understood.

My first and last piece of good news.



- Mrs Banks?

- Yes?



One last thing.



- What is he doing?

- We need more amps

to light the house and the tent.



- It's cheaper

than bringing in a new line.

- In terms of the florals out front...



we're gonna color coordinate

with the swans, right?



- Swans?

- I think it'd be wonderful.

- Perfect.



- We're having swans?

- Franck thought it would be great...



to have swans waddling around

the tulip border, you know,

as the guests enter.



- It would be really sweet.

- Nina, we don't have a tulip border.

- You will.



How much is--



Mr Bonks,

ve huff problus.



Hanck does not vant

no vay to prepare chuckun.



- He doesn't what?

- Franck, does the tent connect

through here?



I've been meaning to fix that.

You have to push, then pull.






Oh, now les not panic

about anything. Les see.



Oh. Oh, that-- Eww. That's only

a sem. We cun fix that.



Now, Mr Bonks, please,

about the seafoot.



Hanck vants to know

if it's hokay or not hokay.



No, Franck.

Tell Hanck it's not okay.



If I have to move out

all the furniture and add amps...



and repaint the walls and get

a new tux and pay for swans...



then I'd like

the "chipper" chicken.



- Is that clear?

- I understood the "chipper" part. Yeah.



Hokay. Dat's it. Hanck says

he will think about dis.



Now, we do not vant

to louse him.



He is a ganius, and

ve need his mand. Hokay? So.



I'll see vhat I can do.

Hanck? Hanck!



I'm fine.



Anyway, where were we? Oh.



- Yes.

- I see you're starting to lose it.



But I have one more question.

Very minor. I'll say it quickly.



Parking attendants. Four is comfortable.

Three is acceptable. Anything less...



- absolutely terrifies me.

- Two.



- Two.

- George--

- Two.



Hanck says if you vant the fowl,

he vasn't interested. He passes.



He-- He passes?

ls he gonna do our cake?



Hey, Dad. How's it going?



Hi. I came to get my sneakers.

I left them in Annie's room last night.



I was beginning to feel like I was

having an out-of-body experience.



I had to get out

of the house and fast.



Nina said as long as

I was escaping, would I mind...



escaping to the market

and picking up something for dinner?



Sure. That was all I needed.

A busy supermarket.



I needed to drive, mellow out,

get my mind off the wedding.



But mellowing out

was not in the cards.



Here we go.

Here we go. Yeah.



- Excuse me, sir. What are you doing?

- I'll tell you what I'm doing.



I want to buy eight hot dogs

and eight hot dog buns to go with them.



But no one sells eight hot dog buns.

They only sell twelve hot dog buns.



So I end up paying

for four buns I don't need.



So I am removing

the superfluous buns.



I-l'm sorry, sir, but you're gonna

have to pay for all twelve buns.



- They're not marked individually.

- Yeah.



And you wanna know why? Because some

big shot over at the wiener company...



got together with some big shot

over at the bun company...



and decided to rip off

the American public.



Because they think the American public

is a bunch of trusting nitwits...



- who'll pay for things they don't need

rather than make a stink.

- Get me security.



Well, they're not ripping off

this nitwit anymore...



because I'm not paying

for one more thing I don't need.



George Banks is saying no!



Who's George Banks?






Uh, why don't we just

calm down now, sir?



I'll tell you why "we" don't calm down.

Because you're not excited.



It takes two people for a "we"

to calm down, doesn't it?



Uh, that I don't know, sir. I'm just

the assistant manager of a supermarket.



But I'll tell you this. If you don't

pipe down and pay for those buns...



- I'm gonna call the police.

- Oh, right!



Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Right.



- That's right.

- Hey.



- Right.

- Hey! Hey, come here!



- Uh-uh! Uh-uh!

- Come here!



Uh-uh! Uh-uh!



That was the low point.

Flipping out over four hot dog buns.



I couldn't figure out

why I'd gotten so nuts...



why the wedding had me so unglued.



Banks, your wife is here.



- Aren't you going to let me out?

- She wants to talk to you first.



- She wants to talk to me first?

- Thank you.



Hello, George.



Why do you look happy

to see me in here, Nina?



Happy? No, no, no.

I'm not happy, George.



You think I was happy to tell everyone

that I had to come...



down to the city jail and bail you out

for stealing hot dog buns?



- I wasn't stealing them--

- Ah!



- I was having a little--

- Ah!



I'm going to have to ask you

not to talk or I'll have to call...



Officer What's-his-name

over there.



You've been more

than I can handle, George.



Annie's wedding is not

a conspiracy against you.



It's just a wedding. People have them

every day in every country in the world.



I know it's going to be expensive,

but we don't go to Europe.



We don't own fancy cars.

I don't own expensive jewellery.



So we can afford

to have a big wedding.






I'll get you out of here

on one condition, Banks.



That you agree to the following.

Now, repeat after me.



I, George Stanley Banks...



I, George Stanley Banks...



promise to pull it together

and act my age. Promise.



promise to pull it together

and act my age.



I will stop hyperventilating, rolling my

eyes, unbuttoning my top collar button.



- I don't unbutton my top collar--

- Oh yeah. No. You mean this bit, with--



- Stop hyperventilating...

- Hyperventilating.



- rolling my eyes, and, uh...

- Unbuttoning.




my top collar button.



I will stop making faces in general,

and I will definitely stop...



telling everybody I meet

how much this wedding is costing.



I don't tell everyone

how much it costs!



- He told you, right?

-     a head.



Oh, well, thanks!



I will try to remember

my daughter's feelings.



And how with every roll of my eyes, I am

taking away a piece of her happiness.



I love you, Nina.



Just repeat the last part

for me, George.



I will try to remember

my daughter's feelings...



- That's right.

- and how with every roll of my eyes...



I am taking away

a piece of her happiness.



I love you too.

Let's go home, okay?



- No!

- Hey, I'm gonna hold ya here!



- Yes! Sweet!

- Come on, Matty. Let's go.



Plan "B," Matty. Plan "B."



Here we go! Hey!



Okay, I got ya! I got ya!



- Midget slam!

- All right!



Annie! Bryan! Look,

you got a present.



Our first present!

I can't believe it.



Oh, our second one

should be here any minute.



- Oh, wow. How do you know?

- Oh, my parents are bringing it over.



- Oh!

- Oh!



Oh, this is, uh, when we give

the presents. Uh, great. Uh, good.



- I'll be right back.

- Where's he goin'?



- Maybe he got a present for you.

- You know about this?



Uh, I haven't got a clue.



- Look at this!

- This is for us? Thank you so much!



Yikes. A whole car.



My dad's gotta see this!



Dad! Dad?



Dad, did you see

what the MacKenzies got us?



It's unbelievable. And you thought

you'd never have a new car.



I know! What's that?



It's nothing. It's just a gift

I was thinking of giving you guys.



You know, it's something you said

you didn't have but you wanted.



Can I see it?



Yeah, you know, it's--



It's not the big,

big gift, of course.



It's a cappuccino maker!



Supposed to be a good one.

That's what they said at the store.



It's, uh, top of the line.

Makes great foam.



I couldn't love anything more.



Goin' to the chapel and we're



- My feelings exactly.

- Gonna get married



Goin' to the chapel and we're



- Gonna get married

- Wow!



Gee, I really love you and we're



Gonna get married



Goin' to the chapel of love



Spring is here



The sky is blue



Whoa, birds all sing



- As if they knew

- No.



Today's the day



We'll say I do



And we'll never

be lonely any more



All right, Mr Banks.

Here you go.



- A   -long. It's gorgeous

even on the hanger.

- Because we're goin' to the chapel



- Now this is an actual Giorgio Armani,

the real McCoy.

- And we're gonna get married



- Don't ask how I got it,

but here it is.

- Goin' to the chapel



And we're gonna get married



Gee, I really love you

and we're



Gonna get married



Goin' to the chapel of love



Bells will ring



The sun will shine, whoa



I'll be his



- Nina, we have great friends,

you know that?

- And he'll be mine



I mean, these are not

your run-of-the-mill salad bowls.

Theses are primo gifts.



- We'll love until

- As a matter of fact, I am so happy

we have decided to serve...



- The end of time, and we'll never

- the very chic but exponsive seafoot

at our very foshionable wotting.



- Be lonely anymore

- Ah! The beautiful bride! Good news!



You have received another lovely,

too-good-to-be-true silver tea set.



- What's the matter?

- Send it back.



- Come on. What do you mean?

- Daddy, I'm not kidding!



Send them all back.

The wedding's off!



Anne? Annie?



I'm sorry, Dad,

but I'm not gonna marry Bryan.



Okay, okay. Whatever you want

is okay with us.



I feel so awful,

after everything you guys have done.



And now

I have to undo it all.



Don't worry about it. These things

get cancelled all the time.



Your mother and I can

take care of everything.






What happened?



- Another girl?

- No.



- Now look at your shirt.

- Don't worry.



No, it wasn't anything like that.



It started out as nothing really.

He gave me a present.



It's our eight-month anniversary

today, and he--



He gave me-- Just look.



He said it was for me,

for our apartment.



Just look.



It's a blender.



Yeah. Exactly.



I mean, I didn't want to act thrown

or anything, but inside I was.



I mean, I thought something

for the apartment. Maybe--



Maybe a new clock or a cool phone

or a great art book or something.



But a blender?

I mean, what is this?     ?



Give the little wife a blender?



I mean, it scared me, you know.

In terms of his expectations.



Oh, I started to freak out,

and he asked me what was wrong.



And I asked him what a gift like this

was supposed to be telling me.



And he said, "Nothing,"

and I didn't believe him.



And we got into this big fight.

And he said I was overreacting.



And I said, "Why would I overreact?

Nobody in my family overreacts."



And then he came up

with this totally absurd story...



this completely outrageous lie,

and I'm looking at him...



and I'm thinking,

"This man's a liar!"



- What did he lie about?

- Oh...



actually it was

something about you.






He said the day that you and Mom

went to go visit his folks--



It-- This is just--

This is so ridiculous.



He said that you were snooping

around his-- his dad's desk.



And that you somehow found

his dad's bankbook--



Oh, no, no. First he said you broke

some mirror in their bathroom.



And then you found his dad's bankbook

and you somehow threw it in their pool!



I mean, it's too ridiculous!

The man lies!



Come in!



Annie, Bryan's downstairs.



- I don't want to see him.

- He looks awful.






Excuse me.



I thought maybe I should help

smooth things over.



So I took Bryan out for a drink.



Thought we could

have a talk, man-to-man.



But as I sat there and listened

to his side of the story...



I realized this was

a golden opportunity.



If I ever wanted to get rid

of Bryan MacKenzie, this was my chance.



You know those banana shakes

she likes to make, right?



Well, that's why I thought

she'd like a blender.



I guess I can see her point. I mean,

a blender does suggest a certain...



    s reference

to sexual politics, but...



I swear, it never entered

my consciousness at the time.



- I believe you.

- You do?



Would you tell Annie

that for me, Dad?



This was where I was gonna

lower the boom.



But instead, I looked into his

weepy eyes and found my self saying--



- Sure, I'll tell her.

- Oh, good!



'Cause I know whatever you say

she'll believe.



Not only was I not getting rid

of the kid...



I now found myself

talking him into staying.



You know, Bryan,

Annie's a very passionate person.



And passionate people tend

to overreact at time.



Annie comes from a long line

of major overreactors.



Me. I can definitely lose it.



My mother. A nut.



My grandfather.

Stories about him were legendary.



The good news, however,

is that this overreacting...



tends to get proportionately less

by generation.



So, your kids could be normal.



As if that wasn't enough,

I went on.



But on the upside,

with this passion...



comes great spirit

and individuality...



which is probably

one of the reasons you love Annie.



That's what

I love most about her.



That's when it hit me

like a Mack truck.



Annie was just like me,

and Bryan was just like Nina.



They were a perfect match.



Dad, I can't believe

you took him out. What did he say?



I mean, you don't

have to tell me. What?



Honey, I just spent

an hour with Bryan, and...



believe me

when I tell you that...



this gift says nothing about

how he feels about you.



It's just a--

just a thing to put in the kitchen.



He thought you might want to blend

something one day, and that's all.



- And you believe that?

- Completely.



He's-- He's downstairs now. His heart

is breaking. Please go see him.



And also,

that story he told you...



about me and the bankbook

and the swimming pool?






- What?

- It's-- It's true.



- Oh, Bryan.

- Oh, Annie.






I am so sorry

about the blender.



And I see your point. It w-- It w--

It was incredibly insensitive of me.



Oh, no, it's okay. I want it.



Oh, it's my first anniversary present.

I'm-- I'm so sorry

about calling you a worm.



- My dad told me.

- That's-- When I thought I was never

gonna see you again, I mean--



- If it wasn't for your father--

- I know. I know.



- I love you.

- You too.



Everything fine now?



Good. I'll just, uh, uh--



- Annie!

- Hi, Bryan. What's up?



- Well, we made it to January.

- Is that for us?



- It was the day before the big day.

- Sure. I'll be out in a sec.



The Farmer's Almanac predicted this week

was going to be the coldest...



L.A. had seen

in over half a century.



But we were so busy,

none of us had time to notice.



Franck! Franck.

Franck, Franck, Franck.



Sure, yes. We'll do the whole--

You like it?



Looks good, yeah.



Right, together.



Left, together.

Right, together.



Left, together.

Right, together.






Right, together.

Left, together.



Hey, Matty. You're up pretty late,

aren't ya?



Yeah, I know.

I'm just practising.



I wish I didn't have to

walk Mom down the aisle.



Don't worry. You'll be great.



Is it right, together, left

or left, together, right?



Well, let's try it.

Let's see, we go...



right, together,

left, together.



Right, together,

left, together.






Matty, I'm sorry if I've been

preoccupied lately with this wedding.



- It's okay.

- Yeah, but I have, haven't l?



It's all right.

I understand.



- Yeah, but--

- Yeah, you have.



But I haven't felt

ignored or anything.



Don't worry, Dad.

No permanent damage done.



- Oh, good.

- It's really cute and cozy.



And in a great neighborhood.

You'll see it.



I am really excited.



I've got all this packing to do,

and this room looks so different.



It's gonna be weird,

isn't it?



Just you, me

and Mom here now.



Yeah. Come on.



G'night, pal. Sleep tight.



- Good luck tomorrow, Dad.

- Yeah, you too.



- Annie?

- Yeah?



- G'night.

- G'night, Matty. I love you.



I love you too.



Today I met the boy

I'm gonna marry



He's all I've wanted

all my life and even more



He smiled at me and

gee, the music started playing



"Here Comes The Bride"

when he walked through the door



Today I met the boy

I'm gonna marry



The boy whose life and dream

and love I want to share



For on my hand a band of gold

appeared before me



The band of gold

I always dreamed I'd wear



When we kissed

I felt the sweet sensation



This time it wasn't

just my imagination



Today I met the boy

I'm gonna marry



He's just what I've been waiting for

Oh, yes



With every kiss, oh

"This is it," my heart keeps saying



Today I met



The boy I'm going to marry



- Did I wake you?

- No, no. I was up.



So, what are you doing?



I couldn't sleep.



I just kept thinking about how this was

my last night in my bed, in my house.



Kind of like

my last night as a kid.



I mean, I've lived here

since I was five.



And I feel like I'm supposed

to turn in my key tomorrow.



It was so strange,

packing up my room.



You know how you've always trained me

never to throw anything away.



So, like, I have all these

ratty stuffed animals...



and yearbooks, my old retainer...



all my old magic tricks.



I've actually packed it all.



I just didn't want

to let it go.



I mean, I know I can't stay.



But it's like

I don't want to leave.



Well, that's the thing about life,

is, uh...



the surprises.



The little things that sneak up

on you and grab hold of you.



- It still happens to me.

- Thanks.



- What is this?

- I don't believe it.



- Oh, my God! Talk about surprises.

- It hasn't snowed in L.A.

since I was nine.



Mom's gonna die.



What? What is that face?



No. Nothing. I was--

I was just thinking.



Oh, this is gonna end up

costing you more money.






How I know I'll remember this moment

for the rest of my life.






When you live in a city that hasn't

seen snow in    years...



it's bound to cause a few problems.



First, we panicked

and brought in extra heaters.



But they were melting

the ice sculptures, so they had to go.



- Right.

- Yeah?



- All right. Back in the truck.

- Yeah.



The florist had to thaw out our

newly planted tulips with a hair dryer.



Franck and Howard shovelled our path

themselves at no extra charge.



- Franck?

- Just keep shovelling! Don't stop!



'Cause they're gonna be here, you know.



And the swans spent the morning

in a lukewarm bath.



Other than that, we were

almost running on schedule.



- Nina, it's after  :  !

- All I can say is thank God

snow is white.



- It works. You know what I mean?

- It works.



Franck, do you have

that needle and thread?



Here you go, George.

We fix you right up.



- Howard, you better go to the church!

- On my way.



Uh-oh. I bring

the wrong kolor thread.



I assumed you'd be wearing

a black tuxado.



- It is a black tuxado.

- I don't think so, babe.



This tux if nuffy blue.

No doubt about dat. Let me--



What are you talkin' about?

Armani doesn't make a blue tuxedo.



Armani don't also make polyaster.



Franck, where are the cars?

We're supposed to be there by now.



Where are dos cares?



All right. Relax, honey.

Everything's going to be just fine.



At least we know

they can't start without us.



I knew I'd never be able to remember

what Nina wore that day.



But I also knew I'd never forget

the way she looked.






Thank you, George.



You shouldn't look this beautiful.

It's not fair to the bride.



- Cars is here!

- Huh?



Matthew, frond and cendre!



- Aw!

- Aw!



Just kidding.



- Oh, no.

- What did you do to your hair, honey?



I gelled it. You don't like it?



N-- Oh, no, no. I think it--

it looks-- yeah-- cool.



- Very debonair, my boy.

- Thank you.



- Okay, we'll go in the first car,

and you and Annie follow.

- Right.



- George.

- Oh, I follow! l-- Anne!






I'm ready. Come on in.



- You look beautiful.

- Thanks.



Okay. Let's get

this show on the road.



- We're here!

- Oh! Oh, just look!



- Hi. Oh, Mom.

- Line up, everyone.



- Mother of the bride.

- Oh, George!



Comin' through! Here we come.

Comin' through.



- Left, together, right, together.

- Got it, Dad.



- Let me see that.

- See?



Let's do this. Okay?

I love you.



- I love you too.

- Mother of the bride.

Mother of the bride. We've gotta go.



- George.

- Let's go, everybody. Line up.



It's time. It's time.

Mother of the bride.



Come on, mother of the bride.

Here we go. I'm opening the doors.



Natasha, haven't you peeked enough?

Here we go. Come on. Let's go.



Shh. Okay.



And left, right.

Very nice. Smile now.



Right and left.



Right and very nice and left.



Right. Keep smiling.



And left. Hey.



This was the moment I'd been dreading

for the past six months.



Well, actually,

for the past    years.



- Hold on, Dad.

- Annie overwhelmed me.



She was as calm and cool as

I'd ever seen her. Very un-Banks-like.






Here you go.



Dearly beloved, we are gathered

here together...



in the presence of family,

friends and loved ones...



for the purpose

of uniting in matrimony--



All I could think of was the part

I had to play.



Then suddenly I went blank. I had

one line, and I couldn't remember it.



When the reverend said,

"Who presents this woman?"...



was I supposed to say, "That's me,"

or was it, "l do"?



- ...Forever hold your peace--

- I couldn't think. I felt every eye...



in the place boring into the back

of my neck, waiting for me to screw up.



- When suddenly, it was upon me.

- And so I now ask...



who presents this woman

in holy matrimony?



I do.



Annie and Bryan, you have come here

today to join your hands--



- "Who presents this woman?"

- Always remember...



- This woman.

- this vow of marriage is most solemn...



- But she's not a woman.

She's just a kid.

- should not be entered into lightly.



- And she's leaving us.

- With a deep realization of its

obligations and responsibilities.



I realized at that moment that I was

never going to come home again...



and see Annie

at the top of the stairs.



Never going to see her again

at our breakfast table...



in her nightgown and socks.



I suddenly realized

what was happening.



Annie was all grown up

and leaving us.



And something inside

began to hurt.



I, Bryan MacKenzie...



I, Bryan MacKenzie...



- take thee, Annie Banks...

- take thee, Annie Banks...



- to be my wedded wife.

- to be my wedded wife.



To love and to comfort

from this day forward.



To love and to comfort

from this day forward.



- I, Annie Banks...

- I, Annie Banks...



take thee, Bryan MacKenzie...



- take thee, Bryan MacKenzie...

- to be my lawful wedded husband.



to be my lawful wedded husband.



To love and to comfort

from this day forward.



To love and to comfort

from this day forward.



The ring, please.



With this ring as a token of my love

and affection, I thee wed.



With this ring as a token of my love

and affection, I thee wed.



Here, sweetie.



With this ring as a token

of my love and affection...



I thee wed.



With this ring as a token

of my love and affection, I thee wed.



By virtue of the authority vested in me,

I now pronounce you husband and wife.



You may kiss the bride.



Well, she did it.



And now, as my son said,

it was time to party.



- Hi, how are you? Good to see you.

Don't you look great?

- Congratulations.

- Wonderful party.



The house was busting at the seams.

Everywhere I looked, there were faces.



Most of which, I might add,

I had never seen before.



- George, I'd like you to meet the

Danish relatives. These are the Prowses.

- Hello!



I met Bryan's Danish relatives,

who thanked me profusely

for flying them over.



- Hi. How are you?

- Everyone was telling me

what a great party it was.



How beautiful the house looked.

They loved the flowers...



the hors d'oeuvres, the swans.



We even seemed to be getting away

with only two parking attendants.



Everything was running smoothly,

except for one small detail.



- Annie's very favorite uncle.

This is Ben Banks.

- I still hadn't kissed the bride.



- Congratulations.

- Where's Annie?

- Annie. She's having her picture taken.



- Hi, Ben.

- How are you, George?



Yes. Ben's been

back in Connecticut.



Okay, kids. Look at each other.

Very nice. Now, turn towards me, please.



I'm sorry, sir. All traffic

has to go through the front door.



Doris! It's so good to see you!

How are you?



- Oh, could I have one of those?

- Sorry. Just sold my last one.



Hey, a button. It's navy.

This must be yours.



We're moving into the tent now.

Dinner is served.



This way to the tent, please.



- Uh, let's--

I think we have to go back in--

- Ann-- Annie!



As well, l--



It was unbelievable.

I had never seen a line form so fast.



It was as if they knew

what the food was costing me.




I made it into the tent.



I was ready to relax and taste

the food I'd been hearing about...



for the past five months, when--



Dad! Dad! There's some cops out front,

and they want to talk to you!



- Cops?

- I've heard. We'll handle dis togather.



I got George. Ve're on our vay.



Come on, George.

Pick it up. Pick it up.



One-Adam-seventy, roger.




Let me handle this, George.

Give me your wallet.






- Adam-   disregard.

- What is this?



- See, Cameron? I told ya.

- Wow!



Just try to smile. That's all.



- This your house?

- Me?



Yeah, you. In the blue tux.



- Yes. Yes, it is.

- Do you have a permit for parking

    cars in this street?



Vell, the-- the problem is, Officer,

dat we are supposed to haf

four parking attandants.



- Uh, but two got de flu.

- Well, you better get...



all these cars off this street

before the fire marshall gets here.



Fine, fine. Any sugjoostions

what we do with them?



I don't care what you do with them.

Just have them off this street

within the next    minutes.



Vill do, sir. Ve'll take care of it.

You're not to worry, okay?



- Franck? Where are you? The cake--

- Uh, uh, George. They need me inside.



Uh, the big moment.

The keck is being wheeled out!



- I-- I-- I'll handle this.

- I'm on my vay!



Where're we gonna get

a couple extra drivers?



Hey, baby, I'm your man

Turn around, you'll see



I may not stand tall

and I don't talk neat



But I'm gonna

win your love for me






Watch out, baby, here comes your man

Lookin' cool to me






By the way,

great wedding, Mr Banks.



And don't worry!

I didn't eat anything!



- That makes two of us.

- I got sunshine



On a cloudy day



- Where is he?

- I don't know.



When it's cold outside



I've got the month of May



I guess you'll say



What can make me feel this way



- It's my girl

- My girl, my girl



I will feel aglow



Just thinkin' of you



And the way you look






- I know.

- Oh, but you're lovely



With your smile so warm



And your cheeks so soft



There is nothing for me



But to love you



Just the way you look






Just the way you look



- Tonight

- Well, I had to admit...



the wedding appeared to be

a complete success.



Now, all I needed to make me happy

was a dance with the bride.



- It's time.

- Ladies and gentlemen...



in just a few moments,

Mrs Annie Banks-MacKenzie will be

tossing her bouquet in the foyer.



- And then she's off to Hawaii.

- Let's go in there. Oh, sorry.



- Excuse me. Thank you.

- This I was not going to miss.



- Comin' through.

- The mob was headed

through the living room...



- so I decided to take a shortcut.

- Sorry.



- Excuse me. Thank you.

- Great wedding, George!



- Had a lovely time.

- Thanks. Excuse me.

- Great party, George.



Hurry up!



Whoa! Ay-yi-yi-yi!






- Where's my dad?

- I-- I-- I don't know.



- I haven't seen him.

- Watch it. Behind you.



Excuse me.



- Should I throw it?

- Yeah! Yes!



He missed it.



- Bye-bye!

- Let us through. Let us--






Goodbye, Charlie!



Bye, Bryan!



- Bye!

- Bye!

- Thanks.



- Bye!

- Have fun!



She was gone.

My Annie was gone...



and I was too late

to say goodbye.



When the last guest was gone...



and the last glass of champagne

had been drunk...



we surveyed the damage.



It's funny how empty a house

can suddenly get, isn't it?



Yeah. I'm sorry you didn't get a chance

to say goodbye to her, George.



Oh, that's all right.



But, you know, I think she's going

to be really happy.



Oh, yeah. Sure.



- Hello?

- Dad!



Hi! Where are you?



At the airport.

Our plane's about to take off...



but I couldn't leave

without saying goodbye.



Thank Mom for everything, okay?



And Dad...



I love you.



I love you very much.



I love you too, sweetheart.



Thanks for calling.

And have a great honeymoon.



Thanks. I will. Bye.






When I'm awfully low



- When the world is cold

- That was Annie.



- Oh.

- I will feel aglow



Just thinkin' of you



And the way you look






Oh, but you're lovely



With your smile so warm



And your cheeks so soft



There is nothin' for me



But to love you



Just the way you look





Special help by SergeiK