Fear Of A Black Hat Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Fear Of A Black Hat script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Fear Of A Black Hat. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Fear Of A Black Hat Script





The producers of this film

would like to express...



that they in no manner wish

to support or condone...



the words, phrases and images such as:



ass, booty, yo bitch, Bush is a dickhead...



and big-butt women in tiny bikinis...



which are used in this film.



However, in an effort to maintain accuracy

and journalistic integrity...



words, phrases and images...



such as: ass, booty, yo bitch,

Bush is a dickhead...



and big-butt women in tiny bikinis

are necessary.



But, rest assured, the words,

phrases and images...



such as: ass, booty, yo bitch,

Bush is a dickhead...



big-butt women in tiny bikinis...



will not be used without warrant

or in any gratuitous manner.



And now, get up off your ass!



Get ready to shake your booty.



Yo, bitches and bitchettes!



It is the Raider with the Dickhead tour.



And we want you big-butt women

and brothers to get up and dance!



Now live on stage, N.W.H.



Come on!



Don't wear a toupee

'cause that's assimilation



Don't say it's okay

that's oral masturbation



Hats offer enclosure

from deadly exposure of sucker imposers



-ready to close your

-Coffin and lower you down, black



Bald, buried and beaten into a pre-dug track



That's wack, the way they dis the black



How can we complain

when we don't fight back?



It ain't hate 'cause we retaliate



with the gat in my hands

and the hat on my pate



See back in the day

out in the fields they kept us



exposed to the rays

without no shields they left us



Without a hat, we was exposed

Without a hat, we was sun-stroked



The African sun was pure and good

never needed a hat, just brotherhood



The good old days are

a brother's worst enemy



tell me stay bald, I say it ain't in me



Look in my eyes and you'll realize

these ain't lies



-Boy, I wouldn't lead you wrong




Get with the facts as I chart the stats

cold-kick the hats



Make the black grow strong!



Make the change gotta cover my braids



I deal the pain

to those who keep me in chains



They want more than just to see you fall

they wanna keep a brother buried and bald



Wear your hat



That's how it all ends.

But let's start at the beginning.



I' m Nina Blackburn.



And what you are about to see

is a documentary on the rap group N.W.H...



or Niggaz With Hats.



I began this project as a thesis

for my doctorate in sociology.



My belief was that

not only does rap function...



as the political voice

of today's urban youth...



but it also serves as a tracer

of styles and values.



I was attracted to N.W.H. because of...



the strong political poses

adopted on such albums as the...



controversial and never released

Kill Whitey album.



This group also seems

to epitomize the disdain...



towards women found

in much of rap culture...



with songs such as

My Peanuts and Booty Juice...



which they claim is a political theme.



So sit back and enjoy.

The brothers have a lot to say.



Now, I hear you guys are

from a really rough neighborhood.







So, where? Compton? The sewer? Oakland?



-All that shit's for punks.




No, we don't necessarily like to say

where we're from.



I thought all rappers like to say

where they're from.



Bragging about their neighborhood

as the toughest.



Yeah, we could.



That's like a motherfucker

saying he got a big dick...



and can fuck for hours.



Exactly. So what we're saying is,

we don't front.



We perform in this motherfucker.



They say it's the quiet ones

that you have to watch out for.



And if you've noticed, I ain't

said shit for a couple minutes now.



That's true. I also noticed

that you don't smile too much.



Damn skippy.



If you be smiling,

motherfuckers think you're a punk.



And I ain't no punk.



Tasty once shot a motherfucker

for taking his picture...



while he was thinking about smiling.



-How about when you're making love?




If you smile, the woman thinks she got you.



The next thing you know,

she asking you for money and shit.



Exactly. The best thing, if you think

you're the kind of motherfucker...



that's predisposed to be smiling and shit...



you best to kick that shit doggie-style.



Then you can go in from behind, right?



Then you don't have to worry

about her seeing you.



-You can make all kind of faces.

-Make sure you ain't got no mirrors around.



Ice, at that time you had a song out

called My Peanuts?



That's one of the first things

that I dropped, My Peanuts.



I had to get that pressed myself,

then I sold it out the trunk of my car.



-Right here on this very street.

-I remember. That was dope.



Tone was slinging bean pies, because

he was hooked up in that Muslim shit.



-And Tasty was slinging--

-I was a pharmaceutical distributor.



We shouldn't be talking about that,

you know what I'm saying?



Maybe you can edit that out.



My peanuts!



Well, they're low cholesterol

and high protein



Hotter than a Mexican jumping bean



Have them dry-roasted or vacuum-packed



My peanuts come alive

when you open that sack



Smoother than Jif

and fresher than Planters



My peanuts exceed all standards



They're def enough

to knock you to your knees



Even Planters ain't got no nuts like these

My peanuts!



They dissed us and shit,

what's up with that?



Now l'm going to have to bust a cap

in somebody's ass.



-ls there a problem?

-Hell yeah, there's a problem.



You got Jam Boys, Yo Highness,

M.C. Slammer...



Touch & Groove, and Special Guest.

Everybody's up there but us, N.W.H.



-What's up with that?

-We are "Special Guest."



The "L" is a problem.

I am going to take care of that.



We N.W.H.,

we ain't no motherfucking special guest.



Sorry. Go back to your hotel,

come back for sound check.



It's taken care of.



Step to the right.



Wait a minute, where are you guys going?



Yo, man, we're going backstage,

what's the problem?



Problem is, I don't know who you guys are.



-Man, we N.W.H.

-ln the house.



N.W.H.? In the house?



You ain't on the list.

You got to step aside, baby.



Wait. What you mean we ain't on the list?



Word, man. Look, Niggaz With Hats.

All right?



Well, I ain't seen no N.W.H.,

Niggaz With Hemorrhoids...



or anything else like that on the marquis.



Look, man, we the "also Special Guest"

on the end of the marquis.



-Also Special motherfucking Guest.

-"Also Special Guest." Really important?



-Check the list.

-lt ain't on here.



I want N.W.H. on the marquis,

we're part of the headlining bill.



When you put Yo Highness on the bill,

you bumped everything else off.



You don't even know your rap history.



Who is Spooney G?

The Sequence Brothers?



A bonus question.

How many people in The Funky Four?



You can't tell me...



You're not on the list.



Look who's rolling behind you, man.



Yeah, right! That's a old one.

I'm supposed to turn around and look...



while you guys walk in.

You think I'm stupid? It ain't like that.



Take yourselves on out. We got

a real show to do with real performers.



Jam Boys! Fellas.



All right. Looking good.



Let's have a good show tonight.









-Tell that motherfucker who we are.

-Yo, man, you know these guys?



You don't know who they are?



They're supposed to clean up

the stage after we rip it up.



-I really enjoy your work.

-Great jacket.



Rich, emotional tapestry. Keep it up.



We got a show to do. I can't help you.



He got a gun. Shit, he got a gun.



Motherfuckers be hollering. I'll see you.



Okay, I'll change the marquis.



Welcome to the Landmark Theater.

I'm John Craw, head of security here.



This is a wonderful old venue,

we used to have some wonderful acts here.



Laverne and Shirley came through here,

the Osmond brothers, Mack Davis.



Now we have rappers.

So I've had to add a few extra...



Iayers to the security system,

it's no problem.



We start here with the brothers

from the Nation of lslam.



They keep things under control.

These guys are very under-control people.



Nothing rattles them. They keep things

on a calm, even-keel kind of level.



And everything.



And they'll drop your ass

like a bad bean pie if you fuck up, too.



Friesch, we need a bigger room.



Word, man. And another thing:

we don't have our hats, man.



Hats? What do you mean?

Did you check the truck?



-They ain't on the truck or here.

-We ain't going on stage without our gear.



We got to have our performance gear.



You know what?

I'm glad we don't have hats.



You know what? It's always the same thing.



We've got to mix things up more.



Predictability... Can I go on record here?



Predictability is

the stepson of ingenuity. Okay?




-Hold up, man.



We are N.W.H. That's Niggaz With Hats.



If we don't have hats,

then we Niggaz Without Hats.



That's a whole different group of niggas.



I've got to part company

with you for a second, lce...



because we are still N.W.H., okay?



We're just growing. I got an idea.

We're growing as artists.



You know? We're done with that.



We did the regular hat thing.

Now we're stretching, we're moving on.



And this is what we're going to try tonight.



There it is. Look at this, you got a hat here.



You put some riot headlines on the sides...



you make your statement,

it's right there in black and white.



We've got a trend thing happening there,

you see that?



That's wack.



Man, this ain't Romper Room, and I ain't

going out with page seven on my head.



This ain't right. We need to have our hats.

Our performance hats.







And a bigger room.



-Okay, is that setup right around the corner?

-Man, find the damn hats.



All right.



Guys, what's the deal with the hats?



That's what N.W.H. is all about,

we got a whole hat philosophy.



You know what I'm saying?



I mean, back in the days

when there was slaves and stuff...



they would work in the hot sun all day.



With the sun beating down on them.




I mean, not even a babushka.



Word. Heads totally exposed to the sun.



You know? So, by the time

they got back to the plantation...



from being in all the heat, they was

too tired to rebel against their masters.



So what we saying with Niggaz With Hats is:



"Yo, we got some hats now, motherfuckers."



-Yo, what's up, G?

-N.W.H. is in the house!



What's up? N.W.H. in the house.



What's up? I'm Vanilla Sherbet and shit.



I'm down with you motherfuckers.

I been listening to you for a long time.



I got all your old tracks.



I got Booty Juice...



P.U.S.S.Y. I got all that old shit.

I got your old track, lce man.



That shit:



My penis, big and large



-Peanuts. My peanuts.

-That shit was on.



That shit was dope, G.



I'm down with you motherfuckers,

I can relate.



Because I grew up in the 'hood.

I was raised by a black family.



Because my parents abandoned me.

So I can relate to you.



I'm almost like a brother.



We gotta hook up after the show.



Go pick up some bitches.

Smoke a big, fat blunt.



We'd be chilling.

Because y'all my niggas, dude.



-You are my niggas.




-Yeah, we chilling.

-We need to talk.



N.W.H. in the house.

Vanilla Sherbet. What's up, G!



We chillin', we about to kick it, yo.



You're N.W.H.?



-Yeah. What's up?

-About your manager.



Man, we had nothing to do

with what happened tonight.



That's not the issue.



Did he pass on

what I told him before you came out?







if you guys perform the song

Grab Your Shit tonight...



we'll have to arrest you for obscenity.



-What you talking about, man?




the lyrics:



"Grab your shit, cover up...



-"N.W.H. say grab your dick."

-That's live, ain't it?



Whoever says those words,

I hear them and they say them...



they're going to jail.



Break a leg, fellas.



-Fuck y'all.




We should've bust a cap in their ass.



Normally I wouldn't be

for changing something.



But seeing as how our manager

got tapped on tonight, I think...



maybe we ought to play it safe for the night.



I'm down with artistic integrity and all that,

but lockup's a bitch.



This is what we gonna do.

We gonna change...



We'll change the "shit" and "dick"

to "Cover up and grab your stuff."



-All right?




-But just for tonight.

-Just for tonight.



-Tomorrow we back to "shit" and "dick."

-Hey, tomorrow we in St. Louis...



-so you know what that's all about.

-They like the shits and dick.



And now N.W.H.



People ask why I walk this way

Protection first is all I say



I got it, they want it

believe it, they'll steal it



Some of them punks just want to feel it



When they see me grip with both hands

It's a black thing they don't understand



It's true they want to take it all

So before they rip you ball for ball



Cup your hand, cover up



N.W.H. say grab your stuff



Grab it! You gotta grab it! Grab it!



Grab your stuff



Four hundred years and it ain't enough

Suckers still trying to take our stuff



Stealing it, swiping it, ripping it, biting it

they can't grow it, so punks try to heist it



We ain't down with that, no

Got to look out for the black



When they start going for the family jewels



Protect that gear by whatever tools



Cup your hand, cover up



N.W.H. say grab your stuff!



Grab it! You gotta grab it! Grab it!



Shit, my dick!



My dick!



God, my dick!



Where you're going, boy,

you should grab your ass!



My dick!



Oh, my dick!



This was the first

of N.W.H.'s several brushes...



with the law regarding censorship.



I caught up with the group

again on the road.



Now, your new album is

N.W.H. Fear of a Black Hat.



Right. But that shit was supposed to be

N.W.H. Fear of a Black Hat...



then su btitled,

" Don't Shoot Until You See the Whites."



-Of their eyes?

-Whose eyes?



Don't shoot until you see

the whites of their eyes.



No, just don't shoot until

you see the whites, period.



That's it. End of story.

You know what I'm saying?



But the record company,

they dogged us out.



-They didn't let us put it on there.

-We should've bust a cap in their ass.



See, they always trying to censor our shit.



For instance, with the song Kill Whitey.



No, that shit was

a whole big misunderstanding, there.



They took the whole thing out of context.



They was trying to say that

we was advocating killing white people.



Do I look like the kind of person

who could kill...



a whole bunch of white motherfuckers?



I mean, you know, given a reason.

But not on a humbug.



Well, in the song lyrics, and I'm quoting:



"He'll rip you off, he'll take your money,

make you work for free.



"Though you might scoff,

it isn't funny, he's the devil, see.



"Kill Whitey."



How can you listen to that and think...



we talking about killing all white people?



We was talking about one specific Whitey.



Whitey Dilucca. Our ex-manager.

He ripped us off for $     .



Right, and Whitey Dilucca

wasn't even white. He was...



He was ltalian. He was one of them

olive-complected motherfuckers.



If I remember correctly,

he ended up murdered.



-We wasn't in town when that happened.

-No, man, we was there--



We was in Cleveland.



-No, we went over to--

-No, money, we was in Toronto.



We were trying to set that shit straight.



-Let me talk to you, man.

-Cut this shit now.



Up from the bottom of the heap we creep



Sneak peek

breakin' through the concrete



Tired of livin' in an occupied state

other motherfuckers decidin' our fate



-Now see me

-Jack you in the valley



Don't you think this song is a little extreme?



No, man, that's my experience from jail.



That's the black man's experience, man.



It's my experience that

this type of song causes problems.



I mean, the lyrics here:



"See me jack you in the valley,

see me ice you in the alley."



I mean, that's a bit too much.



And what about this concept of a video...



that has you guys killing police officers?



Can't you guys just

dance around like Hammer?



Like Hammer?



And one, and two, and three.



And spin that shit around.



Yeah, that's the move I'm looking for.

Spin like that, exactly.



A little more hip movement.



Yeah, spin it around.



That's good.



Keep it going,

don't try and keep up with me.



Tasty? What the fuck you doing?

We are making a video here.



-Can't you teach him the steps?




You do not be stopping

the music in my studio.



-I'm the director of this video.

-I don't care.



Have you ever seen

Charles in Charge, the TV show?



Okay, my name is Darryl.

Darryl is in charge here, okay?



So you move your

little skinny hips on over there.



And I take care of everything

from here, all right?



I'll take care of it.



Just show the motherfucker the steps.



Cool. Just go on over there.






I ain't afraid of you. Go.



Think he tough?



Okay, I see you seem to be

having some problems.



Yeah, I'm having problems.

I ain't no damn dancer.



What is this Solid Gold shit!



No, you didn't.



Do not be calling my choreography

no Solid Gold shit. Okay?



This is progressive, baby.

Don't even take me there.



You need some personal help.



Everybody, take five.

Take a little rest. Get some Coke.



Me and you, we're going to work together.



We are going to work together on this.



Get into position. You need to relax.

You all uptight. Rapper and all that.



No, just keep that loose.

Keep that open like that.



Now, relax the shoulders

and start by shimmying on the top...



and bend it over like that.

Bring it back up like that.



Don't turn around. Face that way.

Just work it like that.



Man, what you doing!



I ain't with that! Don't touch me!



I'll take that whip and whip your ass.



You will? Then start to work, daddy,

I kind of like that. Here is the handle.



Yo, lce, I'm outtie, man.

I can't deal with this, man.



Hang on one second. Guys, John Ligget.

I'll just wrap up this call.



Yo, what's up with you homies?



I've got something

I need to talk to you about.



And I thought we could just kick it to

the curb for a couple minutes, okay?



What I want to talk to you about is

the album cover to Guerrillas in the Midst.



Now that's fly.



That's pretty live with all them cops

with their butts up in the air like that.



And us standing over them. Right, Friesch?



Hang on a second.

What exactly? How many cops on the pile?




-Fifteen. And you want?






None? Why don't we split the difference?




No, that's not going to solve the problem.



What we have to be concerned with

is the moral watchdogs.



People always got a problem

with what we sing anyhow.



Look, normally I would

support you guys one hundred percent.



But I can't this time.

To put this album out the way it is...



it just wouldn't be def!



"lt wouldn't be def"?



Right! It is not the def, chill,

fresh thing to do.



I mean, it stirs things up too much.

It screams violence.



That's all related to that shit

that came way back then.



My point is, we can't let the white man

tell us how to sell to our market.



You know what I am saying?



-Right, Friesch?

-The white man, no good!



Look, I am a white man,

that's not the issue here.



But what I'm trying to tell you guys is

either you do it our way...



or we don't do it at all.



Are we cool on this, brothers?



No, I don't feel too cool at all, man.



I'm feeling kind of cocky.



We're going to have to talk to you, brother.



I think we got a little situation here.

Be right back.



That was bad,

kicking the record company guy's ass.



That was counter-productive.

I got to be honest.



-But he was a dick, man.

-I know.



A punk motherfucker if I ever saw one.

You'd have kicked his ass.



That could be. Here's what's going on.



I am going to move you guys to

another label, called lnnergroove Records.



Happening! They are...



Soon after, N.W.H. signed

with Innergroove Records.



And they released Guerrillas in the Midst.




Guerrillas in the midst of a race riot



Say it ain't black or white

but I ain't dumb and don't buy it



Talkin' about a time to heal

But step to it, time for you to get real



We can't do it

We were lookin' for healin' in the court, see



Out in the valley of the Simi



But a black man gets no justice



'Cause the kangaroo court don't trust us



Wasn't the first and won't be the last



Brothers got to move to get that ass



Plead your case to the C-O-U-R-T



But they never see Y-O-U and me



Verdict by a punk-assed jury

opened up a black man's fury



See that?



Guerrillas in the Midst.

Man, that is going to be crazy large!



And the album, Fear of a Black Hat,

that's going to be bigger than Wild Thing.



Man, you brothers are going to be large...



for the simple fact that you're with me.



And I got the winning team, and I am large.

I am larger than large.



In fact, I am so big they call me Dinosaur.



But you got to be careful.

Y'all talking about some heavy shit.



That ain't your average garden-variety,

run-of-the-mill gangster bullshit.



Y'all hardcore. But you got an edge.



I mean, just look at you three brothers.

Just look at you. Together.






You little black,

stove-pipe-colored nigga, Tasty.



You are the same complexion

as Marcus Garvey...



who brought self-love to the black

consciousness movement in the     s.



And when we speak about complexion...



we move into the political perspective

of where y'all coming from.



You, lce.



You a high-yellow,

piss-colored motherfucker.



Same complexion as Bob Marley.



You even got that

dreadlock thing going for you.



You could even move into the whole

Rasta thing, if you wanted to.



But that's another story.



And you.



You good, red-boned, morani-colored...



genie-in-a-bottle-looking motherfucker.



You're the same complexion as Malcolm X.



That's right. Take off your hat.



Red hair! Just like Malcolm.



Boy, I'm telling you,

you brothers are going to be large!



Like I said, you got to be careful.



Because you're telling the truth

and the white man...



don't want you all saying

what you're saying.



Because when you take that bus...



you get there.



That's heavy.



Wait a second.



You understand this motherfucker?



Oh, yeah.



Up from the bottom of the heap we creep

Sneak peek



breakin' through the concrete

Tired of livin' in an occupied state



Other motherfuckers decidin' our fate



-Now see me!

-Jack you in the valley



-Now see me!

-Ice you in the alley



-Pull you out the truck

-Now see me!



-I don't give a fuck!

-Now see me!



-Burn all this shit down

-Now see me!



Terrorize this town

Guerrillas in the midst



In the world of rap, N.W.H.,

also known as Niggaz With Hats...



have a surprise hit with their latest single,

Guerrillas in the Midst.



The song, off the group's

Fear of a Black Hat album...



has also stirred the contempt

of many community organizations...



which are upset with the group's policy

of racial retaliation.



This group is an affront

to every decent American.



Just listen to some of these song titles:



Booty Juice...



Back in the Ho Life Again, Ho Down...



Suck my D-*-C-K...



If Your Mama Don't Shut the F-*-C-K Up

I'm Going to Shoot the B-*-T-C-H.



And now this: Guerrillas in the Midst.



Ice Cold of N.W.H. says it's funny

no one complained about...



their earlier albums,

which included P.U.S.S. Why?...



Straight Outta Da Butt, Garden Ho's...



and Ho Ho Ho's, a Christmas release

that featured the group singing:



"Santa Claus is coming,

and not necessarily to town."



Ice says, "You can talk

about ho's all you want...



"but when you start talking about

the real deal, everyone starts bugging."



Everyone's bugging pushed sales

of the Fear of a Black Hat album...



to number one this week

in record stores across the country.



Guerrillas in the Midst

made N.W.H. rap superstars.



Fear of a Black Hat went platinum.



No N.W.H.!



I'm glad y'all could make it

down here to the gig.



Because this is going to be some other shit.



Check this out. Check out the new gear.



I'm in there. Check out the hood.



And then, the shit underneath.



When I want to get crazy buck-wild ill

on a motherfucker.



On your ass.



This is some other shit.



This is some Horton Hears a Who! type shit.



You know, because I'm all into that.



I'm gonna introduce you to someone.



There's some crazy motherfuckers

on this tour.



-Word up.

-Yo, that shit was fucked up, G!



-Are we still cool?

-Yeah, man.



-Y'all remember Vanilla Sherbet.

-What's up, man?



We had to jack him a little bit.



-We still chilling though, right, G?




You still seeing that dude

about your nerves?



Yeah, I got the cast off last week.

But we in there.



-All right, money.

-All right.



Yeah, this is my man, here.



M.C. Slammer.

All the dance moves for your behind.



Homeboy, I dropped the M.C.



It's just Slammer now.

Slammer, that's what it is.



Yeah. Come on.



This motherfucker spits

when he say that stuff.



That's why people call him

M.C. Stammer behind the back.



-Yeah, N.W.H.

-They know what they talkin' about.



-N.W.H. is where it's at.

-Check it out.



N.W.H. I'll do everything he says.



-They are really hot.

-What's your favorite song?



-Bald and Buried, I'd say.

-Yeah. That's a good one.



What about you?



You know my favorite: Peanuts in My Pants.



You know what's funny:

I used to have peanuts in my pants...



all the time and then

they wrote a song about it.



I'm a producer. This is somebody

I'm getting ready to produce.



What's your name?



Wait just a minute! You produce her?



You said you supposed to produce me.



Don't try that. You been talking that mess

since I met you five months ago...



on the street, okay?

Who do you think you are?



You cannot treat me like that, honey.



Let me tell you something:



Don't listen to him, okay?

He is tired, honey, okay?



It's rough being me,

you know what I'm saying?



This is Yo Highness.



I ain't wanna fuck with that.



And this is

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary N' Thyme.



-Straight from the Bronx.

-We better than Salt'n Pepa.



-Yeah, they just two spices, we four.

-And they common spices.



Over here we got some perpetrators.



A bunch of lce wannabes.



See, lce Cold, I'm the man. But we got:



Ice Tray, lce Coffee, lce Water...



Ice Berg, lce Cup, lce Box.



I mean, it gets real ridiculous

when people try to bite your style.



You know what I'm saying?

That's the way it is. This is the rap world.



What can I tell you?



Hold up!



-Kill that noise.

-We got to change the lineup here!



Fuck my ass, man!



There's some groups

that had some hits last week.



We keep our stuff current.



We're changing the lineup.

George, run it down.



Yo, listen up.



Opening up gonna be Touch & Groove...



followed by Vanilla Sherbet,

then Yo Highness.



Then Parsley, Sage, Rosemary N' Thyme...



followed by The Jam Boys,

then followed by N.W.H.



-How you gonna put these...

-ln the house.



...whatnots in front

of the money-making Jam Boys!



Simple, because they got the hit.



It shouldn't be The Jam Boys.

It should be "Special Guest."



Son of a bitch, fuck you!



Slammer will close the show.



That's it, it's over,

I don't wanna hear no shit!



Doug, we out, let's go.



N.W.H. in the house!



Sounds to me like somebody

had to take a step back tonight.



Fuck y'all!



I guess y'all have to face it.

You niggas is over.






Do not call them niggas. Just these three.



Appreciate it.



Did I say "niggas"?



I meant pussies.



Fuck this. Fuck them, man.






Let me call you right back.



I know this might not be

the right time to mention this...



but I've heard that your last five managers

were killed, also by gunfire.



Yeah, but they was all accidents.



-I mean, except for Whitey Dilucca.

-We don't know what happened to him.



Yeah, we do.



Oh, yeah. I forgot. We don't know.



A lot of people been coming down on us...



because a lot of our managers are white.

But there's a very good reason for that.



And this is it:

Our first few managers was black.



And, in fact, they was our cousins,

you know.



So we just decided it would be better

for the black community...



and our relatives, if we just started

having white managers from now on.



But make no mistake,

we hate to see Friesch go.



It's going to be hard for us

to go out there and perform.



Real hard.



N.W.H., you on in five.



Well, we can get over this shit if we have to.



-Let's go.

-Turn these beepers off.



So now, were you guys, as they say,

down with the riots?



We was out of town.

That brother on TV just look like me.



No, I mean, did you agree with the riots?



Oh, hell yeah, I mean...



the media was trying to say that the people

looting was lazy and didn't want to work.



But I tell you what,

you try carrying a leather sofa...



all the way from Slauson and Crenshaw...



down to Pico or Venice

or somethin' like that...



and then going back

for the matching end tables.



That's some work for your ass.



Even with three niggas.

Plus you got to go through all that smoke.



Yeah, but like T said,

we was out of town when the shit happened.



So is it true that N.W.H. is thinking about

putting a love song on the new album?



Oh, yeah.

Tasty got that, he's hookin' that up.



Yeah, check this out.



I want to make you mine

slap your fat behind



Tie you down and make you whine



I want you to scratch my itch

And be my bitch



Because I love you girl



I think that just shows

his whole vulnerability.



The black man was the first sensitive man,

long before Alan Alda.



You know, there are some people

that think you guys are misogynists.



A misogynist is a person that hates women.



We love women.



It's our civic duty to bang the booty.



You tend to justify most of the things

that the group does...



in political terms.

On your song Booty Juice...



what's the political significance?



The butt is like society...



which we want to see as being

openness and expansion. You understand?



But the white man wants to clog it up,

keep it closed.



And we tryin' to get

a foot up in that motherfucker.



So the easiest way

to get your foot in there is...



if it's all greased up and ready.



The butt, that is, a.k.a. society. Right?



So what we're saying with Booty Juice is:



When is your butt at its most juiciest?



When you dancing.



When you doing the nasty,

and stuff like that.



I don't know. I can't speak

for your butt, personally...



But I got some suspicions about it.



But anyhow, the thing is, you want

that sucker nice and greased for you to...



slide on in there.

And on the political tip, all we sayin' is:



We gonna get that ass.



That booty juice



Booty juice comes right from the source



What's the source? An ass, of course



The kind that spreads out extra wide



The kind that's nice when you come inside



It's fresh and ain't all pasteurized

But I always rise when I tap the thighs



'Cause I like 'em big, I like 'em greasy



I like 'em round, and I like 'em easy



I like it when the girls step on the floor



Shakin' them booties just like a ho



I like it when it shakes in the pants so loose



but I love it when it's drippin'



that booty juice



You know, the other night

I went to see the N.W.H. show.



Just so I could see

what it was like for myself, firsthand.



And when I got there,

I couldn't believe my eyes.



Women, dressed like harlots.



Shakin' everything that God give them!



And they are going to wring

their drawers out! On-stage!






Full of sin.

All the freaks was all out their minds.



And let me hear you say,

"Freaks in the house."



Freaks in the house!



Welcome to my establishment.



Welcome to my establishment.



I'll show you my new book I'm working on.



-FYM by lce.




Yeah, Fuck Y'all Motherfuckers.



That's a strong title.



Yeah, because it was written

from a strong mindset.



You know how when people mess

with you or put you through shit?



And you feel bad, and then

they put you through some more shit.



And it's like, you get tired of it.



And you feel just like FYM.



Fuck Y'all Motherfuckers.



And that's what

the whole riots was all about.



The riots was one big FYM.



Fuck Y'all Motherfuckers.



Are you planning a follow-up to this book?



For certain, because I got a lot more to say.



I think it's going to be called ASMD.



And Suck My Dick.



You know, I was going to have it ASMBD,

And Suck My Black Dick.



But I'm a mocha-colored motherfucker,

so that didn't really work.



Besides, that was four letters

and it didn't really fit here that well.



But this is gonna be a two-volume set

because I've got a lot of shit to say.



Excuse me, what is this?



You got the picture that I sent Chaka.



This is my pride and joy, my son Chaka.

And this is his mama, Re-Re.



Rebecca. I told you not to dress

that boy up like that.



And I told you not to have him hanging out

with these knotty-haired gangsters.



This boy can rap.



And I'll team him up with Chaka,

because Chaka wants to be a rapper.



I got a whole thing going on here,

check this out.



I put the pants over his head.

That's his head sticking out of the crotch.



Down there, I've got his feet coming

out of the shirt armpit holes...



and then I turn him upside down...



gonna have him rap like that,

walk around on his hands.



He gonna knock Kris Kross out the box

because he gonna be upside down.



What's it take to get through to you?

The boy won't be anyone's rapper.



-Dude, toss it over here.

-This is lovely.



Yeah. I like it a lot.



Here you go, my European brother.



You see, I don't know all the neighbors yet.



-I kinda just moved in.

-ln time, I'm sure.



You see over there?

On the tippity top of the hill?



-That's where I live.

-That one with the red top?



That's right. I even got a shooting range.

You want to see it?



-I'd love to.

-Let's go.



Never let him touch your soccer ball.



That's very impressive.



See, I'm going to be ready. Come on.






My God!



Yeah. I hate that motherfucker, too.



See? The cops would have shot homeboy.



But I know better. He was just chilling.



This is my pride and joy.



You sure? It says "danger."



Yeah, come on.



Now, why do you need all these guns?



You see, guns...

When they talk about gun control...



they talkin' about taking away

our guns so they can control us.



It ain't that kind of party.



So I'm going to be packing and strapping

because T ain't napping.



What's this one? What is that?



This is a very good choice, little chickadee.



You got eyes for this.

This is an Uzi, fully automatic.



I guess you have to really know

what you're doing to use one.



No, this is a good jammy for beginners.



I mean, this is better

than those auto-focus cameras.



You just spray the area.



Do you know the caliber of all these guns?



Yeah, this one here is

for the little motherfuckers.



This one here is for...



a couple more motherfuckers.



And this here is for big motherfuckers.



-Are they registered with the state?

-State of siege.



Let me show you something else

before we go.



I just want to show you this.

This is some Wile E. Coyote Acme shit.



The reason I got this is because

every time I watch them cartoons...



this shit be blowing motherfuckers up.

So, I figured I should use it.



The first thing you gotta do

is put this piece of paper in here...



to keep the hole tight,

because nobody likes a sloppy hole.



You'd be slipping out

if you don't have that in there.



That pisses everybody off,

especially the ladies.



Careful, the ladies especially like this one.



The average motherfucker can't do this.



You gotta have some lead

in your dick for this one.



Smooth ride.



I notice you have three pagers.



-Yeah. Uno, dos, tres.




I gotta be able to stay in touch

with everything I gotta stay in touch with.



See, this is the kind of shit that they do.

This is what I am talking about.



A brother was minding his own business.

I got some shit for their ass...



because this is my pooky right here.

It ain't even a thing.



Fuck them!



All right, put your hands

where we can see them.



Both of you, put your hands up!



I got a lot of coffee and donuts in me,

don't push me!



You're not even a fucking...

You're a fucking security guard!



This gun will kill you just as good

as a real cop, you got that?



Now, move it slowly.



Put your left hand outside the car.



Take your right hand,

and putting it over your left hand...



taking your forefinger and your thumb

from your right hand...



Hey! I said, forefinger, Mr. Fun.



Reach down and open the car door.



You're a little jokester, ain't you?

Big old puffy hat!



Now take your left foot

and push the car door open.



Can I let go of the door now?



Let go of the door,

push it with your left foot.



Bring your right foot over,

next to your left foot.



Now stand up, get your ass out of the car.



-Hands up.

-They're up!



Now, take your right buttock...



-Close that door!

-With what?



Right cheek.



Don't get smart, I'm looking for an excuse.



Now, get your ass on the car.



Turn around!



Get your hands on the car, funny man.



Real funny with a big goddamned

donut hat on, are you?



Now, you take that hat off...



and no one's gonna get hurt,

how about that?



Take my hat off?



Take the fucking hat off.



Yo, motherfucker, nobody tells me

to take my hat off.



See, that's the way they try to do you.



They take a black man's hat,

but that ain't happening no more.



I got this camera crew, y'all,

and I got all these people here.



We learned from that Rodney King stuff.

It ain't happening again.



I even got a brother over here

drawing the stuff, courtroom-style.



You know what I'm saying?



Just in case the tape and stuff runs out

and doesn't come up.



-This shit ain't happening again.




Don't tell me.



You shot the sheriff,

but you did not shoot the deputy.



Man, I got permits for both of them guns,

all right?



-Sure you do.

-I'm serious.



Here's his registration, okay?



-What the hell is this?

-That's me and the guy that sold me the car.



I want America to see this.

Is that cool for you? Check it out.



That's me, right there.



That's the white guy that sold me the car

in a checkered jacket.



Paid for it in cash. Cash money!



The guy who sold him the car.



The only crime I can get you on now

is taking a real shitty picture.



You're lucky this time.



I don't want you around here no more,

because that's when your luck will run out.



Fucking $ .   an hour, minimum wage.



Get a decent job, you can buy a car.



See, that's the way they do you.

See what I'm talking about?



Get a real job, you can get a real car.



Quit driving that toy shit

with little lights on top of it.



That reminds me of that song

you guys wrote. Fuck the Security Guard.



That's why we wrote that song.



That's why we wrote that song.



Look at that motherfucking

security guard staring at us.



The motherfucker ain't nothing

but a punk-ass bitch.



Pissing me off.

I oughta bust a cap in his fat ass.



Yo, what we gonna do?



Just gonna piss on this motherfucker.



N.W.H. say fuck the security guards

He ain't a cop but he still want to act hard



On patrol at a goddamn convenience store



Get in check

You just a chump minimum wage ho



Just a slob in an ill-fittin' suit



Got a little bit of power

so you want to act the fool



Let some shit break out

and what you gonna do?



Can't get backup

'cause you don't got a crew



It seems like damn near every time I shop



I'm always getting clocked

by some wannabe cop



Follows me around like a magnet

Eyes on my ass like a two-bit faggot



Why it gotta be I'm treated like a thief?

Because I'm black



and wear a pager on my jeans?



So it seems

I'm gonna have to set the sucker straight



I turn around and say

"Yo, get out my face"



An he wastes no time

pointin' to his fake badge



and nightstick that

can make a nigga hemorrhage



He got cuffs, some mace

and a gat on his hip



he makes a move but Ice Cold don't trip



'Cause I'm wearin' my hat

and the shit feels good



besides all that

I'm straight out the neighborhood



With flow I pull my AK-  



gonna send an Acme rents punk cop

straight to heaven



Oh, hell, who cares

where the motherfucker go



He's dead on the ground

when I let the trigger go



Fuck the security guards



The association between rap and violence

is purely a "fictitional" thing...



that is a result of media hype.



'Cause N.W.H., we're anti-violent.



I'll bust a cap in anybody

who thinks different.



But it's true that you guys

are the only group...



to carry live weapons in your stage show.



Yeah, that's a result of some shit

that went down...



back in Cincinnati.



We used to carry fake AK-  s on-stage.

They was plastic, right?



We pulled the shit out in Cincinnati,

the audience pulled some shit out on us.



Silly, crazy banana weapons...

Stupid weapons, man.



How was them niggas living, you know?



Since then, we be ready

for the knuckleheads who feeling froggy.



Right, trying to come at us

with a little something extra.



Besides that, we let people know

we ain't with the violence...



by putting out our music in our videos.



Like we got one called

A Gangsta's Life Ain't Fun.



I'm a G-A-N-G-S-T-E-R

like Scarface, bitch, I'm a superstar



Revered by all though I am the villain



Gainin' more juice by the others I'm killin'



profilin' and stylin'



Drive a fly ride and the hos just pile in



I make gangster money

'cause I'm gangster bold



Fuck gangster bitches

wearing gangster clothes



and I kill by will with skillful thrills



Another way to pay the bills

I'm the boy wonder, god of thunder



Make a move and I'll put you under



I'm notorious, I live glorious

I'm the fly gangster that remains victorious



Get up in your top-shelf clothes

Cold fuckin' top-shelf hos



I'm the man they call number one

Don't try this shit at home



A gangsta's life ain't fun



Tell 'em, that's the mad hatter Ice

Don't chill while he's schoolin'



'Cause you'll be losing

We coming to you on the e-pod tip



A gangsta's life ain't fun



A gangsta's life ain't fun



Ain't no waitin' or hesitatin'

Just hype riff-baitin'



'Cause N.W.H. is



Boys and girls, I think

we've all seen enough of that video.



No, I think that we all get the message...



that being a gangster isn't fun.



And to reinforce that message,

we have some very special guests today.



The Jam Boys.



And N.W.H.



They have an important message,

so let's sit back and listen very closely.



Let's start with N.W.H.



Yo, y'all, N.W.H. in the house, right?



We're here to tell you youngsters that

there is a lot of evils and ills...



out there in the world we want you

to stay clear of.



You gotta understand,

when we was y'all's age...



we was already knocking off liquor stores

and stuff like that.



You know what I'm saying?

Making serious ends.



Word. If you wasn't, you was a punk.



Let me tell you something,

these brothers are soft.



You ever hear about Fort Knox?



Tell them about Fort Knox.



We don't wanna get into that

because it's still pending and all.



Before this gets out of hand,

just let me say this.



Last year...



there were $    billion missing...



from the nation's savings and loans.



I ain't gonna say no more.



I'm sure these gentlemen

aren't responsible...



for any savings and loans fraud.



You're right. They're too stupid

to think of something that brilliant.



They're too soft to even pull it off.



Yeah, we about as soft as a cock

in a hen house.



Look! How many times have you been shot?



-Show them your wounds.




No. They got little kids here.



This brother's been shot    times.



Twenty-two times! He ain't got no blood!



-Twenty-two times ain't nothing.

- Word!



-Tasty-Taste was shot with a bazooka!




What you talking about, tuba breath?



Look at him, man! Just look at him.



He was  ' " before he got capped!



Thank you, Toasty.






Excuse me, but I think the whole point

here was to uplift the children and--



Shut up!



-Drop the bomb on that nigga, man.

-Flying mission.



Check this out, you want to see soft?



Man, I was trying to be nice to you all,

because we Rappers Against Violence.



And I did not want this stuff

to get out of hand...



but check this out, here.



My man here, he ain't even seen no 'hood.



My man used to go to a prep school!



That was a pimp school, man!



Look at this, here. Prep school.

Look, my man.



Class of '  . See? Bow tie, checkered pants.



He was on the Glee Club.

My man was on the yearbook staff.



He was the yearbook editor.



How you going to be a hardcore

OG gangster editing a yearbook?



Well, that's great!

That is such a cute picture.



-Let us pass it around--

-Give me that!



Get that before I kick your ass,

you going to ruin our rep.



It's uplifting for the kids

to see that kind of thing.



Show them how much punk they was.

Show that piece of paper.



You're the punk-ass bitch!



Save yourselves! I quit!



I'm out of here!



-Man, come here.

-Be right back.



I want to talk to him in private,

for just a second.



Yo, man what's up?



What's up with you and Cheryl?

She coming with us to Cincinnati?



-Yeah, ain't no biggie.

-Y'all ain't like--



We're just rolling.



-All I got to say is, baby got a rep.




Word, man!

She's been out there on the frontline.



You crazy, man.



What's up?



Nothing, we just chilling.



-Yeah, we just talking.








Some nigga talking out the side that

he heard some shit about you.



What'd you hear?



Man, you got a big mouth.

Nothing, I hear nothing.



I wanna know.



Well, he heard some shit about you.

He heard that you've been around.






That's what I heard.

I heard you've been around.



I heard you had been, like,

hither and thither.



To and fro. Near and far. Yonder and closer.



-Left and right. Back and forth.

-We got it.



-So that's what you heard?

-Yeah! That's just a rumor. Right?



Yeah, baby. Remember what

I told you about jealousy?



It's a motherfucker.



But I'm with you. You my baby.



-Please do not let that fool ruin us.

-I won't.



Okay, baby. My baby.



You go ahead. I'll catch up.

I gotta get my bag.



All right, hurry up.



Damn this nigga. She's playin' his ass.



Do you have a problem with me?



Yo, I just don't wanna see my boy

get played like that.



I mean, that's my boy.

I gotta look out for him.



No, do you have a problem with me?



What I'm saying is: I've known

this motherfucker for a long time.



Do you have a problem with me?



I've known this motherfucker

before you were here. All right.



Before you were thought about.



Well, I'm with him now.

Do you have a problem with me?



I just might.






So, now, you're Cheryl C.



And I notice you've hooked up with Tasty.



How did that happen?



Let's see. Tasty and I...



-Who are you?

-I'm sorry. I'm Nina Blackburn.



I'm doing a documentary

on language and communication...



and I'm kind of following the group around.



-So you're on the road with them?




Don't worry.



So, now, where did you first meet Tasty?



Tasty and I met kind of, sort of at a concert.



But not really. I mean...



I was hanging out backstage,

and we hooked up.



You meet a lot of men

hanging out backstage?



It's not like that.



I mean there are those girls, honey,

who are straight-up skeezers...



who'll look to jump on a brother's jock

just 'cause he's got a little money...



you know, a little fame. That's not me.



How many celebrities

have you been out with?



I don't know,   ?



-So what you think, Marty?

-I'm in awe.




-Yo, run that again.



No, actually we got to get over to the studio.



-Where you going?

-Man, I forgot.



I'm supposed to go

do this audition thing with Jack today.



No, lce. We're supposed

to be finishing the tracks today.



Don't worry. We'll be right back.



What's more important,

that stupid audition or N.W.H.?



Look, man. I said I'm gonna be back.

I'm gonna be back.



All right. I'm outtie.



I'm gonna be sure to get you guys

auditions, too, you know.



-So you just outtie, lce?

-I'm out, man.



Nigga thinks he bigger

than the rest of the group.



Yo, on the serious  . -percent tip...



the second letter

of the English alphabet is "B."



Think about it.



Shut the fuck up!



They got me out here playing this cop

on this movie deal, you know.



They got me out here playing this cop

on this movie deal, you know.



They had to force me to do this

because I ain't with the cops and stuff.



I personally don't like

most of them motherfuckers.



That ain't me, I got to stretch.



Look at this, I'm carrying this little revolver.

I'd have an AK.



And listen to this,

"Yo, motherfucker. Drop it!"



How am I sound saying shit like that?

I just bust a cap in their ass...



and shit be over with.



Check this out. This is Jike Spingleton...



the director of New Mack Village.

It's a little film we're doing.



Don't turn the camera off.

I've got something to say.



I've got something to say

to John, to Spike, and to Matty.



You stole my shit!



I had the hat before you did

and the glasses before you did.



I was short before you were, wasn't l?



Yeah, they stole all his shit.



I mean this motherfucker was short,

nearsighted, angry...



Iong before y'all motherfuckers.



I'm pissed.



-I heard.

-Jike, we're ready.



-They're ready.

-All right, man.



Scene    take  . Marker.



Now I told you about holding back on me!



Kicking out freebies to your friends

ain't part of the program.



This ain't no Mickey D's.

And it ain't no happy hour.



So the next time you come up short...



it's your behind. You got it?



I want my money.






I knew you was low...



but making little babies sell your product...



I didn't even think you would be that low.



Hey, I ain't got nothing!



Prove it!



I got nothing. I told you I got nothing, man.



Freeze, Rico!



I'll take them hostage!



No, you won't!






Man, I told you! I ain't got no dope!



What is this? And I'll tell you

another thing, motherfucker:



Don't call my mama a bitch!



What, that ho? Oh, God.



I'm taking your ass in...



with the rest of the creeps

and the motherfuckers...



in the motherfucking place where

the creeps and the motherfuckers live.



Don't be doing this shit no more.



The baby!



Oh, boy, come here, junior.



You lucky, little man.



I'll tell you. You got to straighten up.



You're too young to be wearing beepers

and stuff on your head. Give me that.



Look, you a little white child, too.



Don't let 'em tell you this stuff

ain't going out of the 'hood.



Boy, it ain't too late for you

to straighten up.



And it ain't too late for you, either.



Cut! And print! That shit was the bomb!



I'm the shit! I'm on your ass.

And you know who I'm talking about.



Am I right?



Get this shit over here. Let's move on.



Yo, Tone, where's lce?



-He ain't gonna miss no gig.

-He missed the sound check.



-Yeah, he missed the sound check.

-He's gonna be here.



He probably ran a little over schedule

on that movie.



And why is he the only one doing a movie?



Cheryl! Please.



All I'm saying is he's getting all the props...



and you're being pushed

into the background.



Okay. Way in the "blackground."



Yo, Tone, lce was off point.



Man, I ain't gonna even trip, all right?



All right.



But if you ask me, he's treating

both of y'all like bunch of fools.



I don't know, but you better look out.



I don't trust that Marty the manager either.



Well, nobody's asking you.

Look, I ain't gonna let you undermine...



my spiritual oneness here tonight.

You understand me?



Tasty, I suggest

you do the same, my brother.



Tasty'll do what Tasty wants to do.



Tonight what you wanna do

is talk to Marty and lce...



and get this cleared up as

you deserve what lce is getting...



plus some.



Hello, guys. Sorry we're late.



Have a good show tonight.

Gonna knock 'em dead?



-Sorry, airport traffic.

-Let's go out there and do it.



Yo, man!



I saw the crowd out front.

Tonight's show's gonna be phat and all that.



You better go get dressed.

Come on, show's gonna begin pretty soon.



Could you excuse your lady, man?



He got to get dressed.

Why don't you step out--



No, don't you have something

you want to say?



-I was going to talk to him later.

-No, baby, now.



You need to deal with this.



T is tired of y'all doggin' him.



-Dogging him?

-And quite frankly, so am I.



Who the fuck are you?



Obviously the only person here

who cares about T's welfare.



How long you been on welfare?



I'm the one who wants to know

why T isn't doing a film.



And why T isn't getting any interviews.



And why T isn't getting

the same hype you're getting.



Maybe you need to ask T

why he's putting up with your triflin' ass.



You don't talk to me like that.



-I just did.

-I know your type.



I've been watching him, baby.



She's been telling me stuff about you

to watch out for.



I don't have to listen to this bitch...



in the fucking N.W.H. dressing room.



Don't be calling her a bitch, man!



Look, man, let's just do the show.



Let's get out there and perform.

We don't get paid if we don't perform.



Now, first things first.

Deal with this shit later.



Just step off.



-Don't put your hands on me!

-Man, you got a problem, man?



Come on, get up!



We need to talk about

what happened out there tonight.



We need to talk about

what happened out there tonight.



No, I think we need to talk

about what didn't happen out there.



And what didn't happen

was that we didn't get paid.



If we do another gig and

I don't get my motherfuckin' money...



I will kick the nigga's motherfucking

ass if I have to!



No need to get loud. We can work this out.



How'll we work it out if he treats you

like a second-class citizen?



I'm getting punked.



Y'all doggin' T. That ain't right.



Let's just calm down and work this out.



This is supposed to be us: N.W.H.!



I ain't got my bitch in the motherfucker.

Tone, if he had a bitch...



she wouldn't be in this motherfucker.



What the fuck is she doing here, man?

She ain't supposed to be here, man!



She ain't supposed to be here,

that bitch should be outtie.



-I ain't going nowhere.

-She ain't going nowhere.



So that's how it's gonna be.

You gonna side with her.



That's all right. I don't know

what kind of ill shit this is, motherfucker...



but all right!



-He can't tell you and me what to do.

-You can't tell me and her what to do.



Motherfucker, somebody needs

to tell you something, man!



Because she ganking you!



She's licking your ass

like a fucking lollipop...



-in this motherfucker.

-So what're you saying?



What I'm saying? Motherfucker!

What the fuck am I saying?






Shit, where's your wallet, man?



Where is your motherfucking wallet?



I got it.






She just holds onto my wallet

while I perform. So what?



So what? Motherfucker.



Count your fucking ends the next time

you get that motherfucker back.



If you get it back.



He better stop disrespecting me.



You better stop dissin' Cheryl.



Motherfucker, you gonna make me

stop disrespecting that bitch?



Hell, yeah, I'm gonna make you, nigga.



-Let's go, motherfucker!

-Come on, Dr. Seuss.



Let's go. Come on.



Calm down before somebody gets hurt.



Word, man. Marty's right.



If y'all going to go at this,

you've got to come clean. Drop your shit.



All right.



There it is.



Motherfucker, see? Take the clip out

and everything, on your ass.



Yeah, all right. Here you go.



I'm dropping everything.



Wait a minute.



I want to be totally raw with you, nigga.

'Cause I ain't afraid of you.












Let's go, nigga.



-Come on, nigga.




You gotta remove the hats.



You right about that.



Hold that. I am taking this shit off.



I am taking my shit off, too.



Come on. I'm with that.



I can't have you pull a knife

and fuck up my good jacket.



I'm gonna whip you butt-naked. Come on.



-Fuck up my gear and shit.

-Let's go.



All right, come on. Let's go! I ain't havin' it.



You niggas going to fight or fuck?



Stop! That's enough!



Let's go to sleep.



We'll talk about this in the morning.



That might be the move.



I can work with that.



You are not afraid to work with a group...



whose last five managers were killed?



A lot is made of that,

but it's really no big deal.



Those happen to have been

very tragic accidents...



but nothing deliberate.



-No fear at all?




You mean this?



I keep this because...



You know, it's something the guys have.

They're into guns.



So, I thought I would get one

because it's something we can talk about.



It is like a male bonding kind of thing.

You know what I mean?



I don't keep it loaded. See, it's empty.



I keep the bullets hidden.

I certainly don't plan on ever using it.



You don't need to apologize,

but we need to talk this out, all right?



I mean, he's as upset about this as you are.



But if he even begins to act ill,

I'm through with his ass.



Let's just calm things down

and sort things out.






Wake up, man.



Good morning.



Got the sunshine coming in and everything.

What's up?



Wake up. We gotta talk.



Get up. We've got to talk. This is important.



What is it man? Let's talk. Let's...



Wake up, man, we gotta talk.



Let's talk later.

I got somebody here right now.



We should just talk a little later.



Marty, don't worry about it.



I've seen him with a powpow before.

It ain't no big deal.






That's it. Everybody's gonna die.







-How could you do this, lce?

-I told you, baby is a freak.



Put them down! I'll kill your ass!



We'll just be two dead motherfuckers...



-'cause I ain't dying alone.

-That's enough.



Put them down before somebody gets hurt.



I need my bullets.



What's wrong with you, Cheryl?



Ain't nothin' wrong with me a man can't fix.



-You're saying I ain't a man?

-I'm saying...



I needed what I needed when I needed it.



What'd you buy her, lce?



Nothing, man. That bitch is a ho.




-You heard him, you're a ho!



Ain't gonna be too many more hos

in this motherfucker. Fuck this.



What's up, money?



Come on!



Now you got this motherfucker involved.



Everybody here is gonna die!



Stop it before somebody gets killed!






It was your fault.

You shouldn't have done that!



You shouldn't have been bringing

that babe on the tour.



-I told you not to--

-I'll shoot your dick off!



This incident proved to be the final straw.



N.W.H. was history.



This album is your first artistic venture

since leaving N.W.H.



You know, I thought it was time

for me to step off...



and kick that N.W.H. thing to the curb

for a minute and find my own flavor.



You say that this album

is politically oriented.



But this song is called

Come Pet The P.U.S.S.Y.



Come Pet The P.U.S.S.Y. Yeah.



But I do say P-U-S-S-Y

in the song because I set it up like that.



-Like the letters, like an "analagram."




An anagram, you know what I am saying?



So it is like P is political...



U-unrest, S-stabilizes...



another S-society, Y-year.







What we are saying is,

if we want to change this madness...



that's going on in our community

and in our world...



then we got to step to the pussy.

Step to this ideology.



We got to embrace the pussy.



You understand? Embracing the...

Have you ever had your pussy embraced?



I mean, has someone came up and just...



embraced that motherfucker?















Come and pet the pussy

Hey, hey, hey



Hey, hey, hey!



Come and pet the pussy!

Hey, hey, hey



Political unrest stabilizes society yes

and I m ust confess



When you step to it, step to it hard

it'll open up so don't bogart



The P the U the S and another S Y

pet it and you will decide



The fate of this entire nation

when it comes you'll get total elation



Step to the L-I-P-S

pucker up and press



Your lips to the lips of the funk

between the hips



Nah, this ain't no dis



Time to stand erect and gain entry

to the richness that waits within, see



We gotta work hard if we wanna groove it

and I'm in it to win it so let's do it



Come and pet the pussy

Hey, hey, hey



Hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey



Come and pet the pussy



Hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey



Hey, hey, hey



So now, your new group.



-The New Human Formantics.




What does that mean?



Well, it is a new way of looking

at the human form.



See, you might not notice, but I'm not black.



You're not?



It took me a long time to realize that,

but I'm not black...



or colored, or Negro, or African-American...



or morani, or high yellow, or Creole.

None of the labels society places on us.



You see, I don't see color anymore.



You know, I look at people, and everybody...



seems to be the same shade.



-You sure it's not the glasses?

-I'm just a human being.



-You are just like me

-I'm just a human



-I am just like you

-I'm just a human



-We all stand or sit when we pee

-I'm just a human



I'm just a human being



-You are just like me

-I'm just a human



-I am just like you

-I'm just a human



-We all stand or sit when we pee

-I'm just a human, just a human being



When I doo-doo, is my shit not brown?



It's a universal thing, we all flush it down



When you wipe, do you look at the tissue?



Most folks do, it ain't even an issue



Hot stuff makes it burn coming out



I bet everyone knows

what I am talking about



because we are all one race on this planet



We all burp and fart

and that's the way God planned it



So don't act like you're superior

Eat something bad



and just like me, you'll get diarrhea



'Cause black, white, yellow

red, brown, or gold



our shit all comes from the same little hole



-You are just like me

-I'm just a human



-I am just like you

-I'm just a human



-We all stand or sit when we pee

-I am just a human, just a human being



-You are just like me

-I'm just a human



-I am just like you

-I'm just a human



-We all stand or sit when we pee

-I'm just a human, just a human being



You' re looking well.



-You've seen my new album?




Brand new from the Tasty,

a. k.a. Tasty-Taste.



Extreme Use Of Force.

Now, see, that is lce's ass, right?



And that's me with the jackhammer.

So you know what's going on.



You hate lce.



That high yellow, gold-teeth-wearing

cock blocker, skeezer-grabbin'...



block-headed punk motherfucker.

I hate him!



Like I was saying. I do things

on my album that he would never do.



You mean, songs like The Ice Man Melteth...



Icy Eat Me, Fuck Ice?



But the cut you did not mention

that's dope, sister...



is the cut called

I Am Going to Kick Your Boot T.



Where I put my foot up some ice.



Left, right, left, you're toothless



Left, right, left, you're toothless



-Right, left, right, left, you're toothless

-Hit me monkey, hit me



Yeah, suckers, it's me



The diddily, diddily T servin 'up dynamite



and strikin' like a cobra

at the foot of your bed



It is over when I leave you for dead



Ice melts when the T gets hot



Ice cracks when the T does rock



Gonna hit you so hard you scream



How could a little nigga be so mean



I'm ready to blast like a megaton



I'm strong



I last for millenniums

You are going to feel the stress



when you mess with the best

The one and only Tasty



Yeah, power-packed, like TNT



When I rickity, rickity, rock you get no relief



From the barrage of rhymes I'm droppin'



on your head and the ammo ain't stoppin'



Packed, stacked, tracks that ain't ever wack

and I ain't jacked



sucka step to the back

It's not a game when the T attacks you



you so weak I could just bitch-slap you



I am going to kick your black ass



Granny says kick your black ass

I am going to kick your black ass



Granny says kick your black ass



Tasty-Taste may be looking to do more

than kick just lce Cold's booty.



His latest manager has ripped Tasty off

for more than a few thousand dollars.



In another N.W.H. news,

lce Cold now finds himself embroiled...



in a lawsuit filed by Mabel Ann Jackson...



who claims she's received neither

credit nor compensation...



for singing the female lead vocal track

on the lce Plant single...



Come Pet The P.U.S.S.Y.



With us in the studio is Tiffini,

who refutes Mabel Ann's claim.



She says it was her voice

that sang the vocal track on that song.



I'd like you to listen to something.

Tell me if it's really your voice.



You're saying that's definitely you?



That's my voice. "Come and pet the pussy."



People are having trouble imagining how...



someone with an accent as pronounced

as yours can sound so black.



I speak Japanese.



But I sing black...



Iike Paula Abdul.



No, you didn't!



You know damn well you didn't sing

Come Pet The P.U.S.S.Y.



I sang that song.



-No, I sing song.

-Bitch, please!



In further N.W.H. news, Tone-Def,

former spiritual member of N.W.H...



currently on his own

with New Human Formantics...



has run into some trouble in New York City.



Some cabbies there aren't buying

Tone's assertion that he's not black.



First, he was turned down

by a cabby on Broadway.



Then when he attacked a car, screaming,

"l am not black, I am only human"...



the cabby jumped out and

with some nearby colleagues...



proceeded to beat T one until police arrived.



In New York City, apparently,

being human isn't enough.



I'm Kurt Loder, still white

and reportedly human in New York City.



That's some bullshit, because my album

sold way more than that.



Your album was like dookie on the street,

it just sat there and stank.



I thought you came to cheer me up.



Sorry, man.



I know we shouldn't be acting like this

with you all laid out.



Look at this shit. All hooked up.



You got his nuts swinging out

when you did that.



Fuck you.



Why don't y'all put this shit in check...



before I have to get out of this bed

and fuck both y'all up.



You're right.



You was wrong, lce.



I'm sorry.



I want both of y'all to know that,

even though N.W.H. ain't nothing...



if y'all ever need me, I'm there.



I got your back, you know, whatever.

We got too much history and whatnot.



I'm glad you niggas said that, because...



I need one of you all to grab that bedpan

and stick it up underneath my ass.



It ain't that kind of party.



I am giving you more time

than you need already.



Go out and do the new one,

Put Your Mouth Where Your Manhole Is.



-Put Your Mouth Where--

-That's the cut, all right.



That's the new one, they haven't heard that.

You go out there and bust that one.



How many times you think they want to hear

you do Come Pet The P.U.S.S.Y.?



Look, I'll do Put Your Manhole Where

My Mouth Is and then I'll--



Are you begging for more stage time?



You need to quit, sucker.



You lie down with dogs...



and then you wake up

with disease, motherfuckers.



You seen lce?



He's trying to get more time.

They only gave me seven.



Seven? They gave me four to do

I'm Only Human.



I don't wanna do that shit.

I'll tell you what, I was wrong on that.



But on my next joint, I ain't talkin'

about nothin' except for doing something...



about these punk-ass cab drivers.



Yo, lce, did you get more time?



No, man. I'm getting tired

of this two-song-per-show bullshit.



It ain't like it was when we was N.W.H.



What up, Tone, Taste, lce. I heard y'all

talking to Lucky about the time thing.



Yeah, man. You got out of the joint?



Been out three months now.



Just in time for your boys to drop

their new beats.



No, they dropped me when I went to jail...



but such is life, I got a new group,

Peaches and Cream.



We got the new cut, Yo, Yo, Yogurt,

it's gonna be real smooth.



Since I don't have The Jam Boys anymore...



I'm looking for a new crew.

Thought y'all might be interested.



I got my cousin doing my shit, now.



Yeah, you know, I've been looking

for somebody, but--



Yeah, I'm kinda doin' my shit on my own.



No, not as individuals. I'm talking about

putting N.W.H. back together again.



Bustin' mad funky beats so phat

that y'all can't help but blow up.



I don't know, man.

I mean, we in different creative spaces.



I'm not sure I ain't still mad enough

to try and kill him.



Besides, you the same nigga that shot one

of our managers.



How is that ill shit gonna look?



Yeah, I mean that is something

to think about.



Think about this.



I talked to Be Real Records today.



They talkin' about giving you $      

to go back in the studio and perform.



That's deep, deep

Jacques Cousteau pockets.



And on top of that, nine points.



We're talkin' about wrinkly,

white-people money.



So, déjà vu. It's back on you.



Well, artistically I could make a move

backward to make that step forward.



The mad is leaving me.



Tell you what, my brothers. Spiritually...



-it feels good as a motherfucker.

-All right. Let's play.



-Yo, man, why you gotta come up on stage?

-We the damn headliners!



Say, man, look. We got some special

surprise guests coming on.



We've got something special tonight.

You all remember N. W.H.



Well, tonight, for the first time in a year:




-We back in the house!

-ln this house, going back to the top.



I got a bottle of syrup that looks like you.









Keep your head covered and wear your hat



to avoid all the noise that destroys the black



-Or they take you out, one by one

-Basted, baked and done



A nigga dead from exposure to the sun

Victims of hostile elements



Not so swell events

Designed to keep the black irrelevant



Busted caps and breathed the truth



Wearing hats and save the youth



While you drinkin'   s and eight ball

I'm takin' a roll call



Yo see who'll fight the white, y'all



Fresh from the battle but not fatigued



Perhaps get a medal for avoiding debris



Yo, G, they stole

the Kangol right off my head



It really don't matter

just put a lid on it



They want nothing but to see you fall



They wanna keep a brother buried and bald



Wear your hat



Here come the bullshit



See, N.W.H., or Niggaz With Hats,

as we prefer...



I mean, we have all kinds of hats.



I' m talking beanies, Kangols, fedoras...



-Scarves, babushkas...

-Baseball caps, beanies.







Yarmulkes! I'm talking about

some really fresh motherfucking hats...



in a wide variety.



Well you certainly do have

some very interesting hats.



-Oh, we're always moving.

-Never sit still.



-We like the wind.

-Outta here.



Take away the pornography,

take away the women-bashing...



Take away the "kill whitey" stuff.

Take it all away...



and you got the kids next door,

you really do.



-Next door to you?

-Not me.



Now, why do you need

so many tennis shoes?



Well, you know, for some men

a car is an extension of himself.



Tennis shoes are for me

an extension of who I am.



-Plus, I get them for free.

-You've got an endorsement?



My cousin Ricky endorses me all the time.

He works down at the shoe store in the mall.



This is my first pair. He gave me those

for my very first concert.



I want you all to understand something.

When I say nigga...



I don't mean nigga in the way

a lot of people mean nigga.



To me, nigga means a whole different thing.



Check this out. Nigga stands for:



Naturally, lntelligence, Gonna, Get, Ahead.



But you might wanna take it

further than that.



Like you might say that nigga stands for:

Naturally, lntelligent, Gonna, Get...



that Ass.



There's no "T" in there.

That would be "niggta."



You pretend it's there.

You got: Naturally, lntelligent...



Gonna, Get, Ass.



Then that ASS stands for

Naturally, lntelligent, Gonna, Get...



A-Another, S-System, S-Started.



This is a bazooka, see?

And you just pick this up like this.



It's kind of heavy. But I figured

if I couldn't pick it up, I need to have it.



Why would you need a bazooka?



Sometimes you gotta take out

stuff like a bus...



or a building or a bunch of motherfuckers.



Do you worry that you have many enemies?

More than the average guy?



So what you trying to say?

That I'm paranoid and stuff?



Do I look like a paranoid person?



I mean, when you rolling with this,

would you be paranoid?



This is, as per my song Booty Juice,

bottled Booty Juice. This is gonna be big.



Check it out. Let me turn on

the Booty Juice display.



It's not pasteurized,

it ain't from concentrate.



And I'll tell you what,

we're just like Evian around here.



We get our Booty Juice

straight from the source.



And I see you got a little source behind you

we might be able to use.



Thanks, I like to keep my juices to myself.



Let me know if we can ever stick

a tap into that...



and we can all make some money.



What exactly is the difference

between a ho and a bitch?



A ho fucks everybody.



Right, but a bitch fucks everybody but you.



Now this is something

from back in my more troubled days.



Back when I was bangin'

like you wouldn't believe.



-This was my angry shoe, I called it.




Because it was two or three sizes too small,

so you put it on, right away you angry.



Especially if you walk a block or two.



Make your face go...



You know, I was angry at Rick for months

after that shit.



Look at this, I saw this laying over here.

The N.W.H. divider and shit.



This is when you know you blowin' up

major, crazy large...



because they take you out

of that generic "N" bullshit...



where they put the wack niggas...



that had one or two fucked-up albums.



We got some hats now, motherfuckers.



Okay, and we ain't too tired

to bust a cap in your ass.



Believe that.


Special help by SergeiK