Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Script - Dialogue Transcript
Voila! Finally, the Ferris Bueller's Day Off
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the John Hughes movie
with Matthew Broderick. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
It is a beautiful day in Chicago.
Temperatures in the upper 70's.Right now, 75 at the lakefront,
74 at Midway, 73 at O'Hare.
Tom!
- What's the matter?
- It's Ferris Look at him
Ferris?
He doesn't have a fever, but his
stomach hurts and he's seeing spots
- What's the matter, Ferris?
- Papa?
Feel his hands,
they're cold and clammy
- I'm fine I'll get up
- No!
- I have a test today
- No
I must take it I want to go to a good
college, so I can have a fruitful life
Honey, you're not
going to school like this
- What's his problem?
- He doesn't feel well
Dry that one out,
you can fertilise the lawn
Jeanie, is that you?
I can't see that far Jeanie?
Jeanie, I
- Bite the big one, junior
- Jeanie, you get to school
If I was bleeding out my eyes, you'd
make me go to school It's so unfair
Jeanie, don't be upset with me
You have your health, be thankful
That's it! I want out of this family
I'm okay I'll just sleep
I'll have an aspirin around noon
I'm showing some houses
to that family from Vermont today
My office will know just where I am
if you need me
- I'll check on you too, pal
- I have such loving, caring parents
You're both very special people
- You get better, pumpkin
- Okay, pumpkin
I'll be home at six sharp
If you need anything, call
Ringy-dingy
- We love you, sweetie
- I love you, too
Call if you need us
They bought it
Incredible! A terrible performance,
and they never doubted it for a second
How could I be expected
to handle school on a day like this?
This is my ninth sick day It's tough
coming up with new illnesses
If I go for ten, I'll have to barf up a lung
So I'd better make this one count
The key to faking out the parents
is the clammy hands
It's a good non-specific symptom
I'm a big believer in it
A lot of people will tell you
to go for a phoney fever
But if you get a nervous mother, you
could wind up in a doctor's office
You fake a stomach cramp
When you're bent over wailing,
you lick your palms
It's childish and stupid,
but then, so is high school
Life moves pretty fast
If you don't stop and look around
once in a while, you could miss it
I do have a test today,
that wasn't bullshit
It's on European socialism
What's the point?
I'm not European, so who
gives a crap if they're socialists?
They could be fascist anarchists,
it still wouldn't buy me a car
I recall Central Park in fallhow you tore your dress
what a mess, I confess...
It's not that I condone fascism,
or any "ism"
A person should not believe in an
"ism", he should believe in himself
I quote John Lennon: "I don't believe
in Beatles I just believe in me"
A good point there
After all, he was the walrus
I could be the walrus,
I'd still have to bum rides off people
Adams
Adamly
- Here
- Adamowlsky, Adamson
- Adler
- Here
- Anderson Anderson?
- Here
Bueller
Bueller
Bueller Bueller
He's sick My best friend's sister's
boyfriend's brother's girlfriend -
- saw Ferris pass out at Flavours
last night I guess it's pretty serious
- Thank you, Simone
- No problem whatsoever
Frye
Frye Frye
- Hello?
- Cameron, what's happening?- Very little
- How do you feel?- Shredded
- Is your mother in the room?
She's in Decatur
Unfortunately she's not staying
- Where are you?
- I'm taking the day off, come on over
- I can't, stupid, I'm sick.
- That's all in your head- Come on over.
- I feel like shit I can't go anywhere
I'm sorry to hear that
Now come on over and pick me up
I'm dying
You're not dying. Youjust
can't think of anything good to do.
Cameron really needs a day off
He has a lot of things to sort out
before he goes to college
When Cameron was in Egypt's landlet my Cameron go.
Cameron is so tight -
- that a lump of coal stuck up his ass
would turn into a diamond
- Katie Bueller
- Edward Rooney, Dean of Students.
I'm so sorry
I completely forgot to call
- You know your son isn't in school?
- Yes. Ferris is home sick.I had a meeting this morning.
I forgot to call. I'm very sorry.Are you also aware -- that Ferris does not have
an exemplary attendance record.What?He has missed an unacceptable
number of school days.Ferris is not taking
his academic growth seriously.
I've spent my morning
examining his records
If Ferris thinks he can coast through
to graduation, he is sorely mistaken
I have no reservation whatsoever-
- about holding him back
another year
- This is all news to me
- It usually is
- He has been absent nine times
- Nine times?
- Nine times
- He hasn't been sick nine times
That's probably because he
wasn't sick, he was skipping school
Wake up and smell the coffee
It's a fool's paradise He's leading
you down the primrose path
- I can't believe it.
- It's right here in front of me
He has missed nine days
I asked for a car I got a computer
How's that for being born unlucky?
Grace!
Mr Rooney, Ferris is home
and he is very ill
- I debated even leaving him.
- Grace!
At this time of year, children
are prone to taking the day off
But I can assure you
that Ferris is a very sick boy
Never had one lesson
In the House of Representatives,
in an effort to alleviate the effects of
Anyone?
The Great Depression
Passed the anyone?
The Holly-Smoot Tariff Act
Which raised or lowered?
Raised tariffs in an effort to collect
more government revenue
Did it work?
Anyone know the effects?
It did not work and the United States
sank deeper into the Depression
Today, we have a similar debate
over this Anyone know what this is?
Anyone seen this before?
The Laffer curve
Anyone know what this says?
It says that at this point
on the revenue curve -
- you will get exactly the same
amount of revenue as at this point
Does anyone know
what Bush called this in ?
Anyone? Something-doo economics
Voodoo economics
Jeanie, I'm really sorry
about your brother
What are you sorry for?
I have to live with him
- I heard he's really sick
- Who said he's sick?
A bunch of people
say he's close to death
I heard that if Ferris dies, he's
giving his eyes to Stevie Wonder
He's such a sweetie Got to go
- Hi, Jeanie
- Shut up
How desperate is the situation?
Did you see "Alien"?
When the creature
was in that guy's stomach?
It feels like that
Freshman
- Are you kidding?
- Do I sound like I'm kidding?
- It's Ferris Bueller
- He got me out of summer school
We appreciate you letting us
know how you're doing.
I hope he doesn't die
I can't handle summer school
- Give me somebody else
- Sure, hold on
- Did you see "Alien"?
- Yeah, why?
Hello? Hi, Ferris, how's your bod?
You're dying?
- Is it serious?
- I hope not
- I may need a kidney transplant
- Shit! Are you upset?
- Excuse me
- Will you be alive this weekend?
- Yeah, I'd say so
- Great Maybe I'll see you
I don't trust this kid
any further than I can throw him
With your bad knee, Ed,
you shouldn't throw anybody It's true
What is so dangerous about him
is that he gives good kids bad ideas
The last thing I need is Bueller
disciples running around these halls
He jeopardises my ability
to govern this student body
- He makes you look like an ass
- Thank you, but you're wrong
He's very popular
Sportoes, motorheads, geeks,
sluts, bloods, wasteoids, -
- dweebies, dickheads,
they all adore him
That is why I have got to catch him
To show these kids that his example
is a first-class ticket to nowhere
Ed! You sounded
like Dirty Harry just then
Really?
Thanks, Grace
- You can't make me wait like this
- Let me rot in peace.
It's my ninth sick day If I get caught,
I won't graduate I'm doing this for you
- Do you know what my diastolic is?
- Take some Pepto Bismal
- Get dressed and come on over
- Shut up
Hold your water for a second
I've got another call Hello?
- Ferris. You sound terrible.
- Darn, I thought I was improving.
- Were you sleeping?
- Dad, can you hang on for a second?
- Sure, pal
- Hang on
- Cameron, it's my dad
- Great Keep me out of it
If you're not over here in minutes,
you can find a new best friend
Dad, all this talking has made me
kind of light-headed
- I think I ought to lie down
- Wrap a hot towel round your head
- Wrap a hot towel round my head?
- Make some soup, then get a nap
- Ferris, I love you, pal
- I love you, too
I bet Cameron is sitting in his car
debating whether or not to go out
He'll keep calling me until I come over
He'll make me feel guilty
This is ridiculous I'll go I'll go
I'll go Shit!
Goddammit!
Forget it That's it
In what way
does the author's
use of the prison
symbolise
the protagonist's struggle?
And how does this relate -
- to our discussion
of the uses of irony?
Mr Nolan, may I interrupt, please?
Sloane Peterson,
may I have a word with you, dear?
I'm afraid that I am the bearer
of bad tidings
Your father called
Your grandmother has just passed
- No
- Oh, darling! Honey
- Dead grandmother?
- That's what Mr Peterson said
I had Florence Sparrow
notify the poor little lamb
- Who is this girl going out with?
- It's so hard to tell these days
I do see her with Ferris Bueller
quite a bit
Would you get me
Mr Peterson's daytime number?
- Ed Rooney's Office
- This is George Peterson.
Please hold
What do you know, it's Mr Peterson
Do you still want
his daytime number?
- Ed Rooney
- Ed, this is George Peterson.- How are you today, sir?
- Well, we've had a bit of bad luck.
Yeah, I heard I'm all broken up
Boy, what a blow
Yeah, it's been a tough morning.We've got a lot of family business.If you wouldn't mind excusing Sloane,
I'd appreciate it.
Sure, I'd be happy to
You just produce a corpse,
and I'll release Sloane
I want to see this dead grandmother
first-hand
It's all right, it's Ferris Bueller
I'm setting a trap for him
Ed, I'm sorry, did you say
you wanted to see a body?
Yeah, roll her old bones over here
and I'll dig up your daughter
That's school policy
Was this your mother?
No, my wife's mother.
- Ed Rooney's Office
- This is Ferris Bueller for Mr Rooney
Hold
I'll tell you what, dipshit,
if you don't like my policies, -
- you can come down here
and smooch my big old white butt
- Pucker up, Buttercup What?
- Ferris Bueller is on line two
Mr Rooney,
I'm not feeling very well today.
Could my sister bring home
any assignments from my classes?
Have a nice day.
Mr Peterson
I think I owe you an apology
- I should say you do
- I
I think you should be sorry,
for Christ's sake
A family member dies and you
insult me! What's wrong with you?
Well I really don't know
I didn't think I was talking to you.
You know that I would never
deliberately insult you like that
Pardon my French,
but you're an asshole! Asshole!
You're absolutely right, sir
Find out where she is
- This isn't over yet Do you read me?
- Loud and clear, Mr Peterson
- Call me sir, goddammit!
- Yes, sir
That's better.
You mind your P's and Q's,
and remember who you're dealing with
Bueller Ferris Bueller
I'm scared
What if he recognises my voice?
Impossible You're doing great
Rooney!
Rooney, calm down
- Just a moment
- Just a little office difficulty
I don't have all day to bark at you,
so I'm going to make this short
I want my daughter out
in front of the school by herself
- What?
- That's too suspicious
- Talk
- You!
- Talk!
- Rooney! Pay attention
I want you out there with her
I want a few words with you
We don't have time to talk right now
We'll get together over lunch
- What's wrong with you?
- Wait!
- Where's your brain?
- Why did you kick me?
How can we pick up Sloane
if Rooney is there with her?
I said for her to be there alone
and you freaked
I didn't hit you
I lightly slapped you
You hit me
Don't ask me to participate in your crap
if you don't like the way I do it
You make me get out of bed
and come here
You make me make a phoney call
to Edward Rooney
The man could squash my nuts
- And you deliberately hurt my feelings
- No
I did not deliberately
hurt your feelings I didn't
- What are you doing?
- See you later I'm going home
- Have a nice life
- Cameron, wait a minute
I didn't mean to lose my temper
I'm sorry, it was uncalled for
- Seriously?
- Yeah
- Here you go
- Thank you
You did screw up though, right?
- Not that it was completely your fault
- Why?
To fix the situation, I'm going
to have to ask you for a favour
The Ferrari GT California
Less than a hundred were made
My father spent
three years restoring this car
It is his love It is his passion
It is his fault
he didn't lock the garage
Ferris, what are you talking about?
My father loves this car more than life
A man with such priorities
doesn't deserve this fine automobile
No
Apparently you don't understand
He never drives it
He just rubs it with a diaper
Remember how insane he went
when I broke my retainer?
That was a piece of plastic
This is a Ferrari
We can't pick up Sloane in your car
Mr Rooney would never believe
Mr Peterson drives that piece of shit
- It's not a piece of shit
- It is
Don't worry I don't even have
a piece of shit I have to envy yours
I'm sorry
There's nothing else we can do
- He knows the mileage
- He doesn't trust you?
- Never has, never will
- This is real simple
Whatever miles we put on,
we'll take off
- We'll drive home backwards
- No
No, Ferris, forget it
I'm putting my foot down
How about we rent a nice Cadillac?
My treat
We could call a limo
A stretch job with a TV and a bar
Come on, live a little
Let me tell you how deeply saddened
I am by your loss
I had a grandmother once
Two, actually
"Man hath but a short time to live
and is full of misery"
"He cometh up
and is cut down like a flower"
"He fleeth as if it were a shadow -
- and never continueth in one stay"
Oh, dear
Between grief and nothing,
I'll take grief
Great
Sloane, dear, hurry along now
I guess that's my dad
I've got to go
Mr Rooney Ed
- You're a beautiful man
- Thank you
I want to thank you
for your warmth and compassion
Shit!
- Do you have a kiss for Daddy?
- Are you kidding?
So that's how it is in their family
- Hi, Cameron, are you comfortable?
- Hi, Sloane No
- What are we going to do?
- What aren't we going to do?
Don't say
we're not going to take the car home
If you had access to a car like this,
would you take it back right away?
Neither would I
Ferris, don't go so fast
Save Ferris
God bless you You're very generous
Save Ferris Bueller
- Save Ferris?
- What?
We're collecting money
to buy Ferris Bueller a new kidney
- Go piss up a flagpole
- I'm sorry?
- You should be
- Hey!
What if you need a favour someday
from Ferris Bueller?
Peterson home on line one
Watch your mouth this time
Go suck your hat
We can't come to the phone now.
We've had a death in the family.
Ferris Bueller is behind this,
there is no doubt in my mind
- Now Sloane Peterson is involved
- Her grandmother, too
You pinhead
If you need to reach us,
we'll be at the following number.
I did not achieve my position by having
a punk leave my cheese in the wind
You have reached
the Carlton Brothers Mortuary.If you leave your name and number,
we'll get back to you.
Something is going on,
and I'm going to find out what it is
I'm going to catch this kid
and put a dent in his future
years from now, when he looks back
on the ruin his life has become, -
- he will remember Edward Rooney
- Wrong
- What?
Not here
We're not leaving the car here
- Why not?
- I want the car home where it belongs
- Let's go
- What can happen in a garage?
It could get wrecked, stolen,
scratched, breathed on wrong
- A pigeon could shit on it
- Calm down
I'll give the guy a fiver to watch it
What guy?
Hey, how are you doing?
You speak English?
What country do you think this is?
Okay, I want you to take
extra special care of this vehicle
No problem Trust me
- Sir
- Come on
Relax
You have nothing to worry about
I'm a professional
A professional what?
See what a finski
can do to a guy's attitude?
Come on
Bless his little heart
Nine times.
- You think the car's all right?
- Sure
- This is the world's tallest building
- I don't feel too good
Here, climb up on this
Come on, everybody Cameron
Okay, lean forward
against the glass like this
- Oh, my God!
- Isn't that great?
The city looks so peaceful
from up here
Anything is peaceful from feet
- I think I see my dad
- We've got a lot to do Let's go
Shit! The son of a bitch
is down there somewhere
- You want to get married?
- Sure
Today? I'm serious
- I'm not getting married
- Why not?
- Think about it
- Besides being too young
Having no place to live
You being the only cheerleader
with a husband
- Give me one good reason why not?
- Look at my mother and father
- They hate each other
- So what?
It's like that car
He loves the car, he hates his wife
Thank you
Can we please get out of here?
This place gives me the creeps
Why didn't you tell me?
- Hello, may I help you?
- You can sure as hell try
I'm Abe Froman, party of three for
- Is there a problem?
- You're Abe Froman?
- The sausage king of Chicago?
- Yeah, that's me
I'm very busy Why don't you kids
go back to the clubhouse?
Are you suggesting
I'm not who I say I am?
I'm suggesting that you leave
before I have to get snooty
- Okay, Abe, let's go
- I'm not going anywhere
- No, we'd like to be seated
- I'm going to have to call the police
- You're going to call the police?
- Yes
- Fine! I'll call them myself
- Yes
Call the police This'll be a hoot
Give me the phone
I have another call
You touch me, I yell rat
Find another phone
Wonderful
I weep for the future
- Ferris, let it go
- Please, you've gone too far
You're going to get busted
You can never go too far,
and I won't be busted by a guy like that
- Come on, Abe!
- Ask for Abe Froman
- Chez Quis?
- May I speak to Abe Froman?
- The sausage king of Chicago
- Let me check the restaurant
- Could you describe him for me?
- Leatherjacket
White T-shirt, sweater vest.
Devastatingly handsome
- Hold on one moment.
- Thank youFroman, this is Sergeant Peterson,
Chicago Police.
- I appreciate your understanding
- Don't think twice
Understanding allows people like us
to tolerate a person like yourself
- Thank you
- Don't mention it
Enjoy your luncheon
Darling, you were wonderful
Cameron, you thought we wouldn't
have any fun Shame on you
Maybe I'm overreacting.
Maybe Ferris isn't such a bad guy.After all, I got a car.
He got a computer.Still, why should he get
to do whatever he wants?Why should everything
work out for him?What makes him
so goddam special?
Screw him
I used to think that my family was
the only one with weirdness in it
Then I saw Cameron's family
His home life is really twisted
That's why he's sick all the time
It really bothers him
He feels better when he's sick
If I had to live in that house,
I'd pray for a disease, too
The place is like a museum
It's very beautiful and very cold
You're not allowed to touch anything
Can you appreciate what it must
have been like to be there as a baby?
I'm amazed that I got the car out
I caught Cameron digging the ride
It's good for him
It teaches him to deal with his fear
Plus, I must be honest here
I love driving it It is so choice
If you have the means,
I highly recommend picking one up
- Thank you
- Yes, sir
Jeanie, who's bothering you now?
- Is Mr Rooney in?
- No, can I help you?
- I doubt it When is he back?
- I don't know
- He's out on personal business
- What's that supposed to mean?
I suppose it means
it's none of your business, young lady
Nice attitude
- Is Mrs Hagel expecting you in class?
- Probably
What an asshole
- Raise your advertising budget
- We don't have the money
If you want to sell, you have
to spend It's as simple as that
restaurants in the area
I pick the one my father goes to
We're pinched for sure
Only the meek get pinched
The bold survive Let's go
- Let's surrender
- Never
Dave, I'm telling you
that it's not the case
- We don't have the money
- Dave, you know what it takes
We're going to go heavy on TV
We'll lighten up on radio and print
Come on back to my office
We know you've got the money
We just have to spend it bonehead!
Bueller.Lesjeux sont faits.
Translation: The game is up
Your ass is mine
Runner at first base, nobody out.The first hit since the fifth inning,
only the fourth hit in the game. and the count. There's a drive.
Left field.Twisting into foul territory.I'm really surprised
they didn't go for it in that inning.
- What's the score?
- Nothing-nothing
- Who's winning?
- The Bears
- I think I broke my thumb
- Hey, batter, batter Swing, batter
Do you realise that if we played by
the rules, right now we'd be in gym?
Come on, boys, let's go
We'll never get out of here Move!
I hate him
Who is it?
It's Ed Rooney, Ferris
I'd like to have a word with you
I'm sorry, I can't come to the door
right now. In my weakened condition -- I could take a spill down the stairs
and suffer further school absences.- Save it, Ferris Come down here
- You can reach my parents at work.Thank you for stopping by.
I appreciate your concern.- Come down here and talk to me
- Have a nice day.
You're in big trouble
Ferris
Ferris
- Who is it?
- You know damn well who it isI'm sorry, I can't come to the door
right now. In my weakened condition -- I could take a spill down the stairs
and suffer further school absences.You can reach my parents at work.Thank you for stopping by.
I appreciate your concern.Have a nice day.
Mud
Son of a bitch!
My shoe
Hi, doggy
Stay, boy
Stay
Stay!
Sit!
Sit! Heel! Stay!
- We'd better go and get the car
- We have until six
I know you don't care,
but it does mean my ass
That hurts, Cameron
- What have you seen today?
- Nothing good
Nothing!
What do you mean, nothing good?
We've seen everything good,
we've seen the whole city
We went to a museum
and saw priceless works of art
What? What's wrong?
Look over there
- What's he doing?
- He's making obscene gestures
What?
- He didn't leave
- It really busts my hump
- He didn't ditch us
- He might be back at school
- He would not go back to school
- He'd do it just to make me sweat
Ladies and gentlemen,
we'd like to play a little tune for you.I dedicate it to a man who doesn't think
he's seen anything good today.Cameron Frye, this one is for you.
- Get off the float!
- What are you doing?
As long as I've known him,
everything works for him
There's nothing he can't handle
I can't handle anything
School, parents, the future
Ferris can do anything
- I don't know what I'm going to do
- College
Yeah, but to do what?
What are you interested in?
Nothing
Me neither
You're crazy!
What do you think
Ferris is going to do?
He's going to be a fry cook
Christ
Look what Uncle Ed has for you,
you little fucker
Jesus!
Sleep tight, pooch
I knew it!
Well, where is she?
This is her daughter
Do you know where she is?
Do you know when she'll be back?
Do you know anything?
- Ferris
- Bueller
You're psychotic
You're out of your mind
I can't believe you went
on a goddam parade float!
Okay, wait
"Yeah, this tune
is one of my personal favourites"
- A lot of people saw you
- You are nailed
Who'd believe I was in a parade?
Anybody who would nail me
wouldn't go to a parade
That was so quick
- This looks okay to me, Cameron
- It looks great Let's roll
Here you go Thank you
You're a very generous individual
Come back anytime
- Watch the seat
- Sorry
See you later
We've got to do this again
This is not a phoney call
There is an intruder, -
- male Caucasian,
possibly armed, in my kitchen
My name's Bueller
You hope my brother's feeling better?
I'm in danger!
I am very protective of my body
I do not want it violated or killed
I need help!
Speak any English? Dickhead
Excuse me, if you're still in the
house, I'vejust called the police.If you have any brains whatsoever,
you'll get out real quick.I also have my father's gun
and a scorching case of herpes.
Wait, that's my car!
I'll move it
He got my keys
You shithead!
I feel pretty good I feel real good
Those guys at the garage were nice
I was a little worried about them
It turned out good
Hey
- Cameron
- Yeah?
How many miles did you say
this thing had on it when we left?
and halfway
between three and four tenths
Why? How many miles are on it now?
Here's where Cameron goes berserk
Cameron, are you okay?
Cut that out
Who is it?I'm sorry, I can't come to the door
right now. In my weakened condition -- I could take a spill
down the stairs...
God bless the police
I'm saved Thank you, God
- Thank...
- I heard that you were feeling illheadache, fever and a chillI came to help restore your pluck'cause I'm the nurse who likes to...
This may very well be for real
He might have blown
a microchip or two
He's always been a little keyed up
I just wanted to give him a good day
We're going to graduate soon
We'll have the summer
He'll work and I'll work
We'll see each other at night
and on the weekends
Then he'll go to one school
and I'll go to another
Basically that will be it
Sloane's as big a problem
She has another year of high school
How do I deal with that?
I was serious
when I said I'd marry her I would
Cameron?
Can you hear me?
Cameron, blink if you understand me
Cameron has never been in love
Well, nobody has been in love with him
If things don't change for him, he's
going to marry the first girl he lays
And she's going to treat him like shit,
because she will have given him -
- what he has built up in his mind as
the end all, be all of our existence
She won't respect him
You can't respect somebody who
kisses your ass It just doesn't work
Ferris, we'd better try something else
This isn't working
Are you feeling better, Cameron?
Why don't you come in here?
It's really nice
Cameron, I can flip out real easy, too
It's okay
Sooner or later,
everybody goes to the zoo
Maybe he's really sick
Maybe he isn't just torturing himself
Hey! Hey, Cameron!
Cameron, wake up
Come on, Cameron Wake up!
- What is that?
- Ferris Bueller, you're my hero
- That was pretty impressive, man
- You son of a bitch
It's not funny
Drugs?
Thank you, no I'm straight
I meant, are you in here for drugs?
- Why are you here?
- Drugs
- I don't know why I'm here
- Why don't you go home?
Why don't you
put your thumb up your butt?
You wear too much eye make-up
My sister wears too much
People think she's a whore
- You don't want to talk about it?
- With you? Are you serious?
- I'm serious
- Blow yourself
All right,
you want to know what's wrong?
I know what's wrong
I just want to hear you say it
In a nutshell, I hate my brother
How's that?
That's cool Did you
blow him away or something?
No, not yet
He was ditching school When I went
home to check, some guy was there
The cops picked me up
for making a phoney call
What do you care
if your brother ditches school?
- Everybody else has to go
- You could ditch
- I'd get caught
- Yes
You're pissed off because he ditches
and doesn't get caught, is that it?
- Basically
- Basically
- Your problem is you
- Excuse me?
Worry about yourself,
not about what your brother does
- That's just an opinion
- What are you, a psychiatrist?
Keep your opinions to yourself
There's somebody you should talk to
If you say Ferris Bueller,
you lose a testicle
Oh, you know him
That whole time
I was just thinking things over
I was like meditating
Then I sort of watched myself
from inside
I realised it was ridiculous
being afraid
Worrying about everything
Wishing I was dead
All that shit I'm tired of it
It was the best day of my life
I'm going to miss you guys next year
Cameron, can I ask you a question?
Yeah
Did you see me change
out of my clothes by the jacuzzi?
Did you?
You saw me?
I thought you were catatonic
That's okay I'm not embarrassed
I better check on the car
Hey, Ferris!
Yeah?
The miles aren't coming off
going in reverse
No
I thought that might be a problem
We have to open the odometer,
roll it back by hand
No, forget it
Forget it
I've got to take a stand
I'm bullshit
I put up with everything
My old man pushes me around
I never say anything
He's not the problem
I'm the problem
I've got to take a stand
I've got to take a stand against him
I am not going to sit on my ass -
- as the events that affect me unfold
to determine the course of my life
I'm going to take a stand and defend it
Right or wrong,
I'm going to defend it
I'm so sick of this shit
I can't stand him
and I hate this goddam car
Who do you love? You love a car
You son of a bitch
Shit
I dented the shit out of it
Good
My father will see what I did
I can't hide this
He'll come home
and he'll have to deal with me
I don't care I really don't
I'm just tired of being afraid
The hell with him
I can't wait to see the look
on his face
What did I do?
- What did I do?
- You killed the car
Whoa!
Holy shit!
It's my fault
I'll take the heat for it
When he comes home, we'll tell him
that I did it He hates me anyway
No, I'll take it
- I'll take it
- No, you don't want this much heat
If I didn't want it,
I wouldn't have let you take the car
- I made you take that car
- I could have stopped you
I want it
I'm going to take it, that's it
When Morris comes home,
he and I will just have a little chat
It's cool
No, it's going to be good
Thanks anyway
This is a shock to me
I don't know why she left school
And why would she come up
with a story about an intruder?
For whatever reason she did it,
she's had a scare
I appreciate you calling We'll have
a long talk with her at home
Thank you
- I hope your son is feeling better
- Pardon?
Tell him all the guys at the station
are pulling for him
Right
- Hi
- Don't "hi" me, young lady
I want to get out of here now
Now
Okay Fine!
- She's a little hyper
- Yeah
Let's not ruin this
with a lot of talk, okay?
- You didn't tell me your name
- It's Jean
But a lot of guys call me Shauna
- Okay, Jean
- Cool
That's great
I'll see you, okay?
Jeanie, now!
- Now!
- Okay
- I had a great time today
- Yeah, it was pretty cool
Will Cameron be okay?
Yeah, sure,
for the first time in his life
He's going to be just fine
You knew what you were doing
when you woke up this morning
Me? No
Oh, shit!
I have to go
- I'll call you tonight
- Okay
- I love you
- I love you, too
He's going to marry me
Do you know what it's like to pick up
your daughter at the police station?
I was about to close the deal
with the Vermont people
I was going to take my commission
and buy Ferris a car
What the hell are you doing?
Are you trying to kill us?
Look at this mess I'll never
get these papers back in order
- Slow down
- I can't drive with you yelling at me!
Hi, I'm Ferris Bueller
No, don't get up
That smells delicious
- Dinner's ready
- What? Who was that?
What's wrong?
Everything I just picked up Jeanie
at the police station
She got a speeding ticket and I lost
the Vermont deal because of her
Looking for this?
I got you, Ferris
How's Ferris?
Let's go in and check on him
I have dreamed about this
And this time
you little bastard,
I've got you right where I want you
Ferris, we're home
How would you feel
about another year at high school?
Under my close,
personal supervision?
Hi
Thank God you're all right
We've been worried sick about you
Thank you, Mr Rooney,
for driving him home
Go upstairs and get in bed
Scoot!
Can you imagine someone that sick
trying to walk home from hospital?
Kids!
By the way, you left your wallet
on the kitchen floor
Honey
- He's still awfully warm
- How do you feel?
% better, thank you
Don't make me stay home again
I want to go to school
I have to graduate in June,
and I
Ferris, you're sick Don't push it
and make yourself worse
- Maybe you're right, Dad
- I know I'm right, pal
- How did you get to be so sweet?
- From years of practice
Blanket
Get well
I'm going to get myself settled,
then I'll bring you a hot cup of soup
I've said it before and I'll say
it again: Life moves pretty fast
If you don't stop and look around
once in a while, you could miss it
Four years I've been chasing this kid
Four years he's been
making a fool of me
Hey, Mr Rooney, what's going on?
Did you get in a fight?
Do you want a lift?
I bet you never smelled
a real school bus before
Gummi bear?
They've been in my pocket
They're real warm and soft
You're still here?
It's over
Go home
Go