Get A Clue Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Get A Clue script is here for all you fans of the Lindsay Lohan movie where she played Lexy Gold. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Get A Clue. I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free scripts!

Get A Clue Script



- Hey, sunshine.

- Morning, Jen.



- Awake yet?

- Now I am.



- Hey.

- Hi.



So, what's your outfit du jour?



I've narrowed it

down to two. Ready?



Hmm. Don't care much for that one.




There's this timeless ensemble.



Now, that I could borrow.

It's trés cute.



- You think?

- Most definitely. Okay, my turn.



Oh, three words. Fab-u-lous!



- Thanks, Jen.

- See you. You know where.



As always.



I don't get it, Dad.

If you don't like that paper,



why do you read it every day?



Because I'm a reporter, Taylor.

I'm curious.



Besides, it's important to keep

your eye on competition.



The Daily Examiner is a competitor

to The New York Times?



- I know it's hard to believe, but true.

- I read it religiously.



Is it crispy, Gilda, the way I like it?



- Like charcoal briquettes.

- Great. Thank you.



Would you pass the bacon?



Turn your high beams off

before you force me to do it for you.



Can you get along

while I'm out of town?



I can try, but it's been my

experience that she can't.



I assure you, can't and won't

are two very different things.



- This is your article in the paper.

- What?



Yuck, it's a gooey love picture.



I can't believe it.



I submitted this to the

Junior Journalist column weeks ago,



- and they actually ran it.

- You've been selected. Wonderful.



Oh, it is, honey.

They ran your photo.



I used Taylor's spy camera. It

shoots pictures from around the corner.



- What's the article about, Lex?

- You used my camera?



It's just a story about Miss Dawson

and her friendship with Mr. Walker.



They're teachers at Millington.



Ah, sounds like

a human interest piece.



Yeah, definitely human interest.






Hello? Yes, she'll be right down.



We'll celebrate when I get back.



We'll go shopping on

Madison Avenue. The two of us.



Sounds like fun. I better go.



Ma, why don't you

take Lexy with you?



I wish I could

take you all with me.



Well, it's time to leave.



I trust that everything's gonna

run smoothly while I'm away.



Doesn't it always?



You have a successful trip.



- Bye, girls.

- Bye, Mom. Love you.



Be good in school.









No way.



- Hey, Lexy.

- Hey, Lexy.



- Hi, Lexy.

- Hey.



What's up?



Congratulations, Lexy. It's so

exciting. The Daily Examiner!



Mr. Walker and Miss Dawson?

No way.



- Who knew?

- What a scandal.



You shine, Lexy.



Thanks, guys.



- Hey.

- Hi.



- Hey, Lex.

- Hey.



Oh, my gosh,

there's Mr. Walker.



I don't know what Miss Dawson

sees in him.



And that hideous green coat.



Hi, Mr. Walker.



Oh... Lexy.



Hi. Um... so I'll e-mail that

to you right away, Jack.



Thank you.



Mr. Walker.



That's Miss Stern,

the control freak admissions officer.



May a speak with you a moment?



Uh, certainly, uh, Miss Stern.



Um, I'll see you both in class.



That was, uh, some article.



Oh, you saw it?



Yeah. Hedda Hopper

had nothing on you.



Hedda who?



You call yourself a writer.

You should know.



She was the most famous

gossip columnist ever.



I am not a gossip columnist.



I give advice. The article in The Daily

Examiner is a human interest piece.



Right. Sure it is.






All right,

so what's your secret?



If I told you, it wouldn't

be a secret, would it, Gabe?



How'd you get that shot of Mr. Walker?

He won't allow his picture in yearbook.



You know what they say: "A good

reporter is always on the job. "



- Hi, Gabe.

- Hey, Jennifer.



Bye, Gabe.



How excited are you about getting

your article in The Daily Examiner?



- Everyone's talking about it.

- Jack Downey just trashed it.



Of course he did.

He's so jealous.



- You think?

- Come on.



You snapped an amazing picture

of your teacher's good side,



then you wrote a killer article

about their secret romance,



and it ran in

a major New York newspaper.



Think about it.

The editor of the school paper



is upstaged by

a member of his own staff.



- He's dying over this.

- You're so right, Jen. Thanks.



- What are friends for?

- So true.



Do you think Miss Dawson

saw the picture?



I don't know.

It's hard to tell.



May I have your attention, please?






As you know, it's Career Week,

and we're very honored



to have the participation

of so many talented parents.



I want your complete

attention when they present.



Now, our first speaker



is a   -year veteran of the CIA,



with    years as

a covert operations officer.



Everyone, let's give

a big round of applause for



Mrs. Sommerville.



Thank you, Miss Dawson.



The life of a CIA operations officer



can be a very exciting one.



You get to travel the world,

explore different cultures,



meet lots of interesting people.



But it's a lonely life,

filled with empty hotel rooms



and late-night meals

in two-bit diners.



You begin to miss your cat.



I could write one too.



Jack, could you

come look at these mock-ups?



Ugh, I think my brain is in

meltdown. Can we go home yet?



What will people in this school

do without me? Listen to this.



"Dear Lexy, my friend

and I had a fight.



We made up, but the mean

things she said still hurt.



What should I do?

Signed, Bummed Out. "



This is a bummer. What will

you prescribe, Dr. Gold?



Well, she has to be honest

and tell her how she feels.



- That's what I'd do with you.

- And I with you.



Then, she should reward

herself for speaking out



by picking up a cute

jelly roll handbag.



Excellent advice.



She'll feel better in no time.






Okay, everyone,

time for our weekly meeting.



Now, our first order of business,



as most of you are already aware...



Lexy Gold was honored today

by The Daily Examiner,



which published

an article and photograph



she submitted to their

Junior Journalism section.



Let's give her a round of applause.



- All right.

- Yeah.



Your editor, Jack Downey,

would now like to say a few words.



I would?



Uh, I mean, yeah, I would.



Thank you, Mr. Goldblum. Uh...



I guess I'd just like to say

that we're all proud



when one of our own is able to make

their way onto a more visible platform.



Especially a colleague from one

of our, well, softer news areas.



So, congratulations, Lexy.



Today The Daily Examiner,

tomorrow The Post.



- Yeah, congratulations.

- Yeah.



- Goddess on the mountaintop.

- Thanks, Jen.



I'm gonna need your copy

if you want to make the next issue.



- This story's kind of old news.

- You know what, Jack?



I actually owe you a thank you.



It was because you

wouldn't run my story



that I sent it to The Daily

Examiner in the first place.






Gertrude, you startled me.



I need to talk to you.



What more

is there to say?



I just don't understand.



Don't talk so loud, okay?



L- I... I never...



I never meant to hurt you.



Oh, really?

Then what did you mean to do?



What changed?

We made all those plans.



Orlando, I love you.



Okay, well, I don't love you.



That's what's changed.

Can you understand that?



I guess I'm gonna have to try.



I'm sorry I ever met you.



If you think I'll continue

to pass you in these halls,



you're sadly mistaken.



One of us has to leave Millington,



and I assure you

it's not going to be me.



- Hi, Miss Dawson.

- Hi, Lexy.



Hey, you.

About ready for bed?



Yeah. I just have to finish

answering mail for my column.



There just aren't

enough hours in the day.



Sorry I missed dinner.



The press conference

I was covering ran long.



The mayor was asking state

legislators to increase aid



to city schools, and let's just

say things didn't go very well.



It's okay, Dad.

That sounds pretty important.



Well, not as important as you.




- And how was your day?

- It was okay.



Hmm. I, um...


        your article.



Nice job. It's well written.



You've got a good theme.



I'd call it a heartwarming

piece of journalism.



- Really?

- Absolutely.



Dad, have you ever

written something that,



I don't know, caused

something else to happen?



Sure. That's what journalism

is all about, and you'll get there.



This is good work, Lex.

You should be proud.



I'm proud.

I'm really proud. I just...



I want to write a hard news

piece, you know? Like you do.



You don't start with hard news. You work

your way up to it. That's what I did.






Well, let's see. I was

working at The Mercury Herald



in the classifieds

when I got a lead on something.



I did a little investigation

on my own and discovered



a toxic waste dump was hidden

underneath the local burger joint.



So I pitched the story to the editor,

and made the front page of The Herald.



After that, they made me staff writer.






There's stories all around you, Lex.



You just have to keep

your eyes open,



and when you get a hunch

about something, investigate it.



- I think I can do that.

- I know you can do that.



You'll be amazed what hard work,




and a little luck will bring you.



- Good night.

- Hugs and kisses, Dad.



Hugs and kisses, my sweet girl.


        or around the vehicle.



As you can see behind me,

the vehicle is a light-colored sedan.



Anyone who may have

seen what happened...



- How you doin', man?

- Good. Thanks.



Lexy, sweetie, wake up.



Huh? Dad, what time is it?



Honey, I've got something to

tell you and it's not very easy.



I just got a call from one

of the editors at the paper,



and apparently your

teacher, Mr. Walker...



He's missing.



Wait. What happened?



There isn't much information yet,



but they did find his car in the

East River early this morning.



Oh, my gosh.

And Mr. Walker?



He hasn't been found yet.



There's a lot of speculation,

but things don't look very good.



This is gonna be a tough day

for you. Why don't you get ready,



and I'll walk you to school.



Wow. I can't...

I can't believe this.



Jen! Jen, wake up!



- Huh?

- Mr. Walker... he's missing.



He's what?



News of Mr. Walker's

bizarre disappearance



spread faster than word

of a Barney's Warehouse sale.



All I know is, if he set foot

into that toxic river,



he's gonna need a serious head-to-toe

hydro-exfoliation body wrap.



Even the fish refuse to live there.



Jeez, there's a lot

of cameras here.



I hope they get my good side.



The good thing about being

in mourning is black is always in.



I know. Whoever thought of that

was so far ahead of their time.



I can't believe all the coverage

Mr. Walker's getting.



Who would have thought

he was so popular?



Miss Stern's outfit

is to die for, literally.



Isn't it strange that the day after my

article runs, he just disappears?



Yeah. It's a real shame.



A shame? It's too weird.



All right, Lexy,

so what's the scoop on Mr. Walker?



- What?

- Come on.



I know you have the inside story.

Where is he?



I have no idea, but you're

really starting to bug me.



Well, as you all know, we've had

a bit of a crisis in our school.



Mr. Walk...



Mr. Walker...



Nonetheless, classes will

continue for the time being.



Now, our next

guest speaker is here.



He is a small-business owner



who is

an award-winning taxidermist.



Everyone, Mr. Greenblatt.



Poor Miss Dawson.

The man she loves is missing,



and even worse, yesterday

he told her to take a hike.



She must be wiggin'.

A deep-tissue massage



at the Peacock Spa

would do her wonders.



Now, if at all possible,



wrap your fish in a wet towel.



- Then...

- Excuse me, Miss Dawson.



Is Lexy Gold here?






- Ah. Alexandra Gold?

- Am I in trouble for something?



No, no. I was wondering if

I could ask you a few questions.



I'm Detective Potter.

Please sit down.



How do I know you're

really a detective?






Now, I understand you write



a gossip column

for the school newspaper?



It's an advice column.



You may have special

knowledge about a relationship



between Mr. Walker

and Miss Dawson. Is that correct?






Before I go any further,

I just want to say congratulations



on your article

in yesterday's Daily Examiner.



- It was most impressive.

- Oh, you saw it?



Oh, yes. What a great photo.

Did you take it?



Yes, I did. Thank you.



You know, up until my article

ran, I was the only one



who knew how in love

Mr. Walker and Miss Dawson were.



Well, I told

my best friend Jennifer.



And then yesterday...



- What happened yesterday?

- Well, they broke up.



Actually, he broke up with her.

Miss Dawson was really upset.



- You witnessed this?

- Well, they were arguing,



and she said one of them

would have to leave Millington,



and it wasn't gonna be her.



You know,

she might be a big help.



I'll be in touch

if I have any further questions.



Um, Detective Potter, sir,



has anyone ever told you you'd

look better without the knobs?



Uh... no.



Well, I really think

you should consider it.



Uh, that'll be all, Miss Gold.

Thank you for your time.



The pleasure was mine.



Miss Dawson. I'm Detective Potter.



Please have a seat.



Did you find him?



No, not yet.



So who are you

eavesdropping on this time?



Shh. There's a detective

in there with Miss Dawson.



I have it

from more than one source



that you and Mr. Walker

had romantic ties.



- Is that true?

- Yes, it is.



When'd you last see Mr. Walker?






- Well, yesterday afternoon.

- Mm-hmm.



Did he seem angry?

Was he upset?



He was perfectly fine.



Really? I learned from one

of your students that you had



an altercation

with Mr. Walker yesterday



and threatened him

if he did not leave this school.



Is that accurate?



Would you mind coming downtown

with me for further questioning?



Think I'd better contact my lawyer.



Oh, no. That detective thinks

that Miss Dawson has something



to do with Mr. Walker's disappearance,

and it's my fault.



Don't flatter yourself. She's the

lead suspect, without your big mouth.



The only thing she is guilty of is

loving him. That's definitely a crime.



Why can't you tell it like it is?

She threatened him. We both heard it.



She didn't. She said this school

wasn't big enough for the two of them.



Besides, she's too petite to murder.



Well, didn't you ever

hear of Lizzie Borden?



I think I've heard of Dizzie Borden.



Look, I don't believe

Miss Dawson killed Mr. Walker.



So who did?



I don't know. Who said he

was murdered? There's no body.



They found his car,

but no Mr. Walker.



Anything could've happened.

He could've been taken hostage.



Okay, Nancy Drew, I think you

been sleuthing around a little too long.



I'm gonna get to the bottom of this,

and it's gonna front-page news.



You don't know the first thing

about Walker.



I'm the only one who knows him,

much less cares about him.



You know, you're right.



As much as it pains me

to say this, Jack,



I think we should team up

and investigate this together.



- What's the point of that?

- Two heads are better than one.



If you help me, I know we can

crack this case wide open.



Are you serious?



If you care about Walker,

you have a funny way of showing it.



Are you just gonna

sit back and do nothing?



Oh, man. How can someone so

selfish make me feel so guilty?



It's a gift.



Okay, but you gotta promise

not to tell anyone, right?



Relax. Who am I gonna tell?



- Oh, I knew it.

- Knew what?



- That you liked him.

- Come on. This is strictly business.



I told Jack I'd call tomorrow

with the time we'd meet.



You've got his number?

Mm-hmm. Cute.



So, Jen, what do

you know about Jack?



Not much. I'm not

interested, but you should be.



- What?

- Get a clue. He likes you.



That's why he treats you like

a reject from the outlet mall.



- Thanks.

- Oh, come on, I think he's kinda cute.



He's tall, mysterious. Just your type.



That's not possible, Jen.

I don't have a type.



Hey, Dad.



Hey, honey. How was school?






So, have you heard

any news about Mr. Walker?



They won't tell us

anything at school.



I did hear they sent

more divers to investigate



the area where

they retrieved his car,



but I don't think they're gonna

find much. There's a strong current.



If you were covering this story,

where would you start?



Well, a good reporter always starts



by looking into the subject's

background for information.



What kind?



Anything out of the ordinary,



'cause sometimes when

you compile a lot of facts,



- it leads to answers.

- That sounds like detective work.



Good reporters are like detectives.

But they can't rely on police alone.



They've gotta do

their own investigation.



- Yeah. That really makes sense.

- Hmm. No, wait a minute.



I can see your wheels turning.



Mr. Walker's disappearance

is not a human interest piece.



It's a serious case.



Which means I don't

want you to get involved.



Come on, Dad. I was just curious.



Don't worry. Hakuna Matata.



- Who goes there?

- Who do you think?



Be nice or get lost.



May I please come in?



What do you want?



Oh, nothing, really.

I just thought with Mom gone,



I'd check on you, see how you're

doing. You know, because I care.



- What do you think, I'm an idiot?

- Well, actually...



I like what you've

done with the place.



But what's all this junk for?



It's not junk. It's important stuff.



This is important?



It's a stealth listening device.



It means secret.



Listen through here.

Put it on your ear.



- Hey!

- Ow!



Pretty cool, huh? And this is my

favorite. A wrist walkie-talkie.



You've gotta have it for hands-free

agent-to-agent communication.



Where do you get all

this stuff from, anyway?



- The corner spy shop.

- Never heard of it.



It's right across the street

from where Ma takes Pilates.



This stuff is amazing.



- Hey!

- Look, silly.



Hey, that's cool.

How'd you figure that out?



My dorky sister has

something like it at home.



Can I help you guys?



Uh, yes. We're lookin'

for some spy equipment.



You've come to the right place.

Let me show you something.



Rear-view glasses. Cool.



What's up with this?



Well, I was in the neighborhood,

and I just thought I'd stop by.



- What's he doing here?

- Who?



Oh, him?



Yeah, that would be

the "he" I'm referring to.



There's actually

a really good reason why...



Hear me out, Lexy. Look,

it's only a matter of time



before Dan Rather and

Diane Sawyer show up to cover



Mr. Walker's disappearance, but...

I'm gonna have the exclusive story.



You're gonna have the story?

It's my story.



Hey, what's goin' on?

What are they doin' here?



Yeah, what are

you guys doing here?



In about two seconds,

you both are gonna worship me.



Are you ready? Gabe lives across

the street from Miss Dawson.



And your point is?



Well, if we watch her for a few days



and nothing suspicious takes place,



maybe we can clear her name.



Or prove she had something to do

with Walker's disappearance.






Cool camera.



Make yourselves at home, guys.



I'll get the menu book,

and we can order some lunch.






So this is how the other half lives.



Okay, so, um,

what's next, Lex?



Okay, our mission is to identify

any suspicious activity



or clues that might tell us

what happened to Walker.



All right.



Even though we have this equipment,



nothing can substitute

for eyes, ears and intuition.



That's right. I think

we should divide and conquer.



Good idea. I propose that Jennifer and I

go to Walker's house to search for clues



while you two go to Gabe's and

keep watch over Dawson's place.



- Did you get Walker's address?

- Yeah, it's in Carroll Gardens.



That's in Brooklyn.



Brooklyn? I am not

schlepping out to Brooklyn.



Jennifer, a good spy does not

question her assignment.



So what?

I'm not a good spy. I'll live.



I guess I'm going with you.



Oh, I was afraid of that.



- What are you doing?

- What does it look like I'm doing?



Calling a car.



You crazy? The big game's tonight.

Traffic's gonna be bumper-to-bumper.



Showing up in a

big hunkin' Richmobile,



we'll stick out

like two sore thumbs.



I say the subway's the only way to go.



Darn! You made me

dial the wrong number.



Right. I made you

dial the wrong number.



You've never been on

the subway, have you?



Please! Of course I have.

I take it all the time.



Uh-huh. So let's go.






Jen, come on up.



Okay, this is so not a photo op.



Okay, come on. Let's go.



Hold on, I'm just making

some technical adjustments.



All right.






Wow, this is some library.



Huh? Oh, yeah, it's my,

uh, lifetime collection.



"Gabe's Birth"?



You mean, you even

have that on tape?



Oh, yeah. My dad just

got me started really young,



- and I've been recording things since.

- Impressive.






Everything's about set up.



- And... action.

- Oh, this is so exciting.



Maybe she's not home.



Yeah, yeah, you...



You just have to sit

and wait and... yeah.



Yes, I made it.

I can't wait to tell Jennifer.






How interesting.



What a riot. I mean, who knew?



Okay. It's this way.



Uh, actually, it's this way.



Pardon me, but do you see

this paper in my hands?



It's called a map,

and according to it,



- Mr. Walker's house is that way.

- Right.



Well, you know, first of all...



Here you go. And second

of all, it's that way.



I've been there before.



Look! She's home.



I love this exercise tape!



Are you crazy?

She might be a murderer.



I feel like a store mannequin.



You mean like a dummy on display.



Uh, excuse us, sir.



Hey, didn't that man's coat

look like the one



that Mr. Walker used to wear?



I don't know. I didn't notice.



I'm sure that was

Mr. Walker's coat.



How many of those hideous green frocks

could there be in one city?



Yeah, at the beginning

of the school year,



I came here to pick up Mr. Walker's

old computer. He was giving it to me.



That's it right there.



I'll call you later.



- Oh, my gosh. Look!

- It's Miss Stern.



I'm surprised she

doesn't have a nosebleed



from being south of   th Street.



- Funny, you don't have a nosebleed.

- Ha-ha.



What's Miss Stern

doing at Mr. Walker's?



Wait a minute. I did see them



having a weird conversation

the day before he disappeared.



- Yeah?

- Well, that's sort of suspicious.



Suspicious of what?



I don't know.

I'm just pointing it out.



Let's, uh, check out Mr. Walker's.



Should we go in?



Well, we, uh, came all

the way over here, didn't we?



It's as if he were just here.



You know, I really like

this sleuthing thing.



I think I could be pretty good at it.



Uh, okay, I'm scared. Let's go.



Whoa, we just got here.

Let's look around a bit.






Look at this. "N.P."



I wonder what that stands for.



Gabe, look! Gabe.



Who is that?



Mr. Goldblum?



Detective Meany.



And you two are

on private property.



Do you realize

that's against the law?



- No. No, sir.

- No, we didn't. Of course not.



It is. Now who are you,

and what are you doing here?



I'm Lexy Gold

and this is Jack Downey.



We're students of Mr. Walker's.



Is he alive, sir?



That's... police business,



but if you know anything

about his disappearance,



I suggest you tell me now.



Oh, w-we don't...

we don't know anything, sir.



Are you absolutely

positive about that?



Of course we're

absolutely positive about that.






Do you have the time?



Yeah, it's, uh...

It's half past  :  .



How long have you been doing

this? You know, police work?



Did you say it's half past  :  ?

'Cause we're late for dinner.



It's a little early

for dinner, isn't it, Jack?



Well, did you know that it's better

to eat big meals early in the day?



- It's good for your digestive system.

- No. I didn't know that.



So, uh, we gotta get

all the way across town...



Uh, so, we-we got to go.



Well, I guess we'll be

seeing you, detective.



Right. Uh, so, we-we

gotta go. Uh, goodbye.



Have you completely lost your mind?



I've never seen this side of

you. You're scared, aren't you?



I'm not scared. I didn't wanna upset

the detective. He seemed kinda strange.



- That's because he was not a detective.

- What? And you know this because?



Because a New York detective

could never afford



a platinum watch, a Pumoni suit

and alligator boots.



Huh? A private detective

can have wealthy clients



and tons of money,

especially in New York.



Maybe, maybe not.



Besides, how can you tell

a Pumoni suit from across the room?



Trust me, I can spot

a knockoff from a mile away.



And that was the real thing.

Same with the watch. The best.



Platinum band,   -carat accents

and mother-of-pearl dials



that allow you to check

any two time zones simultaneously.



It's the ultimate in chic. Just call it

my New York sensibility hard at work.



Wow, who'd of thought that your

insane obsession with material objects



- would come in handy?

- I'll take that as a compliment.



Hey, do you think that

Miss Stern and this Meany guy



are in on something together?



I don't know, but let's

run a check on him.



Good idea. We'll go back to my house.



Nah, we're going to my place.

It's right here.



You live in Brooklyn?

Why didn't you say so?



No one ever asked. Everyone

assumes if you go to Millington,



you have a doorman and

a summer house and all that.



We don't.

I'm at Millington on a scholarship.






Hi, Mrs. Jenrette.



- Hi, Jack.

- Yeah, really.



Look, Brooklyn's not fancy

like the Upper East Side, okay?



I like it here. Everybody's cool.



I bet you don't know

your neighbors, right?



We don't have neighbors,

we own the whole floor.



But I did meet the people below us

when I overflowed the bathtub once.



Right. Overflowed

the bathtub. Come on.



Hey, Ma, I'm home!






What's your mom doing home

in the middle of the day?



She's an emergency-room nurse.



She works the night shift.

She's got the days off.






Something smells amazing.



Yeah, she's a great cook.



- She cooks?

- Yeah. Come on.



- Hello.

- Hi, Ma.



Uh, this is my friend

Lexy from school.



Hello, Lexy.

Nice to meet you.



You, too, Mrs. Downey.



I'm running behind.

Would you do the dishes later?



Yeah, sure, Ma.



Would you like a lemon square?






- This is delicious.

- Thank you.



So, what are

you two working on?



- Uh, it's just a...

- School project.



A school project. Right.

So we'll be upstairs.



Oh, all right.



- Okay.

- Nice to meet you, Lexy.



You, too.



That's my brother.



- You have a brother?

- Yeah, that's Todd.



- Does he live here?

- Nah.



- Where is he?

- He's in the navy.



Oh, really?



Yeah. He's, uh,

stationed in Hawaii.



It's so wonderful there.

The Grand Makiki is to die for.



I had the best facial ever,

last time I was there.



What's your favorite island?



I wouldn't know.

I've never been to Hawaii.






Todd and I used to share

this room before he went away.



- You must miss him.

- Yeah, I do.



So where's your dad?



Well, he-he died

a couple years ago.



Oh, my gosh.

I'm so sorry, Jack.



No, it's okay. Well,

he was sick for a long time,



but we took

good care of him.



Must've been really hard.



It, uh... It was really okay.



I loved my dad.



Yeah, uh, let's

check out Meany, huh?






So, what are all

these trophies for?



I like to bowl.



I hear that you have to wear shoes

that other people have worn.



Real bowlers have their own shoes.



I'm not sure, but I think they have

their own socks and underwear too.



But that's the really good bowlers.



Is this the computer

that Mr. Walker gave you?



- Mm-hmm.

- I can see why. It's ancient.



It looks like there's

a Charles Meany licensed



as a New York State

private detective.



Well, there could be

more than one Charles Meany,



or he could be lying.



Or this could be

the Charles Meany we met today.



It could be.



- That's not possible.

- What's not possible?



I have an e-mail.



Oh, yes, that is a surprise,

but you must have some friends.



Who's it from?



It's from Mr. Walker.



What? Wait a minute.

Hold on. What is that?



It's a letter of

recommendation he promised



for my Millington

scholarship renewal.



This is so weird. The letter

was dated four days ago,



but it wasn't sent until yesterday.



How does

a dead man send e-mail?



- Lexy, I just thought of something.

- What?



- Well, this was Mr. Walker's computer.

- Yeah.



Look at this.

"Nicholas Petrossian. " N.P.



The initials on the briefcase

at Mr. Walker's house.



Lexy's paging us to meet her

back at her place.



And watching Miss Dawson

was getting so good.



Okay, I'd better leave the camera

running so we can check it out later.



Let's see if anything happens.



Whoa, so Mr. Walker's real

name is Nicholas Petrossian?



Well, you can't blame him

for changing a name like that.



- Hey, you think I could change my name?

- Sure, why not?



Okay, you guys,

let's review today's developments.



Now, we saw Miss Stern

leave Mr. Walker...



Petrossian's apartment in Brooklyn,



where a dubious detective

claimed to be "on the case. "



Goldblum was in

Miss Dawson's apartment.



And some homeless guy in Brooklyn

was wearing Mr. Walker's jacket.



That is so bizarre.

Oh, what was Miss Stern wearing?



It was hard to tell.



Excuse me. Who cares?



- Can we continue?

- Whatever.



- Go right ahead.

- Okay.



We don't know why Miss Stern

was at Mr. Walker's apartment.



Let's not forget she had an argument

with Mr. Walker before he disappeared.



- Yeah.

- Totally fishy.



My thought exactly, Jen.

Now, this detective, it was...



Well, what's wrong with him?



Well, nothing really.

He was just sort of creepy,



and he dressed way too

flashy to be a detective.



Cameron Diaz dressed pretty

flashy in Charlie's Angels.






Okay. It looks like

Mr. Goldblum is somehow, uh...



...involved with Miss Dawson?



But yesterday,

Mr. Walker broke her heart.



- And then she threatened him.

- Juicy, isn't it?



Maybe Goldblum and Dawson

conspired to get rid of Walker.



What's their motive?

Because he was at Dawson's house...



With his arm around her.




He was jealous.



But how do we explain

this homeless guy?



I don't know, but there

can't be more than one



hideous Aussie coat

like that in New York City.



Maybe the guy just found it.



- No way.

- What you got here, Jack?



I ran a search on Petrossian, and

this came up in The Arizona Dispatch.



"Nicholas Petrossian, a banker,

mysteriously disappeared,



and he may be dead.



Recently, he was charged

with fraud and embezzlement. "



"Petrossian is survived by his

mother who resides in Brighton Beach. "



I say we pay her a visit.



Sure. I'll work on

getting her address.



You should have seen my outfit. It was

so cute that everyone stared at me.



I wore these adorable

black Capri pants



with this leopard-print T-shirt

and these chunky shoes...



Hmm. Maybe I've

underestimated Jack all this time.



I mean, there's a lot more

to him than I thought.



It must be hard for him to go

to school so far from home.



And with his brother gone

and his dad...



I don't know what I'd do without my dad.

But his mom's really sweet.



I'd call them your classic

Mary-Janes, with thick soles,



a Velcro strap and square toes.

Your basic Prada knockoffs.



He always seems to be alone.

I wonder who his best friend is.



I really like

spending time with Jack.



Oop! Oh, my gosh!

What am I saying?



- I got it.

- What?



Mrs. Petrossian's address.



Are you serious?

How'd you do that?



I used a little Brooklyn common

sense. I checked the phone book.



- No way.

- Way.



Yeah, she was listed

in the white pages.



I think we should

go after school.



- Okay.

- All right.



- I knew it.

- What?



Come on, Jen. This is work.



- You mean, it's working.

- What's working?



You so like Jack.

Can't you just admit it?



That's it right over there.



Oh, how cute!

They have a wishing well.



Hi. Sorry to bother you, ma'am.



We're looking for the mother

of a Nicholas Petrossian.



There's no one here by that name.



It's not a name you forget.

Maybe if you give it thought...



I'm sorry.



- Let 'em in.

- What are you thinking?



- They're okay, Mom.

- Don't do this.



Mr. Walker!



Come on.



Would you care for something?

The eel is wonderful.



Very fresh. I'd say it was

swimming around this morning.



Oh, no, thank you.



- Hmm?

- I just ate.









That's a stunning

pendant you're wearing.



Oh, yeah? Well, thank you.



Years ago, I found it in

a little junk shop outside Reno.



I bought it with

the nickels I won on the slots.



I can't believe

you're alive, Mr. Walker.



We were thinking the worst.



Yeah, what's going on,

Mr. Walker?



Well, it's complicated.



I tried to talk him out of this,



but he's just as

stubborn as his father was.



You don't want

to get me started.



- Thank you, Mom.

- Yeah.



Do you wanna fill us in on

the fraud and embezzlement



you were charged with in '  ?

We found out about that.



I shouldn't be surprised.

You've always done your homework.



But I'm not guilty. I was framed.



Oh, you can say that again.



Back in the '  s,

I was a young, eager banker in Arizona,



working hard, trying to claw

my way up the corporate ladder.



I had just landed a really big,

important account,



and everyone started taking

notice, especially Granville.



I was on top of the world.






Who's Granville?



Oh, he was my boss.



I never liked that man.



Mother, please.






Well, it was

short-lived, anyway.



Very soon after,



somebody stole $    million

out of that new account



and put it into

a foreign account in my name.



I was framed for the theft.



Why didn't you withdraw

and turn it to the police?



Well, I immediately went to do

that, but the account was empty.



And you never found out

who framed you?



No. Lots of people

had access to the account.



What about the money?

No idea where it went?



Not a clue.

I sure wish I did, though.



How does $   million

just disappear?



I knew that the police

would soon show up, so I ran,



but someone came after me

and stalked me for months,



leaving me

threatening messages,



accusing me of robbing

the foreign account.




the person who did this



is gonna get a piece of my mind.



He's gonna regret

the day he was born.



It was a nightmare.



I had to take drastic action,

and I faked my own death



in order to shake off my pursuer.



Nicholas Petrossian was kaput.



And you created a whole new you.




Uh, Orlando Walker was a teacher



who had died the year

before I came to town.



When I acquired his identity,

I became a teacher too.



And I loved it, you know?

I settled into my new life and...



...things went back to normal.



- Then I met Miss Dawson.

- Oh, she's the bee's knees.



- Egg salad?

- Pumpernickel.



My favorite!



I went head over heels.

And everything was going great



until Lexy's article

appeared in the newspaper.



Oh, my gosh. You were found

because of my picture.



I'm so sorry, Mr. Walker. I never

had any intentions of hurting you.



I know you didn't, Lexy.



Anyway, that afternoon,

I felt somebody was following me.



And when I got home,

I found this note.



It had rained

and the ink smudged,



so it's hard to read.



"I know who you are.



...under the palm...



...lobby at... hotel,

Saturday... at   p. m.



You'll pay. If you don't pay,

your girlfriend will. "



You're being blackmailed,

Mr. Walker.



It looks like you're supposed to show up

at some hotel on Saturday at   p. m.



If you don't, something

might happen to Miss Dawson.



And I have to figure out

what hotel that is.



- Do you know who wrote this note?

- Whoever framed me way back when.



We can't assume anyone is innocent until

we have this mystery person cornered.



If we find out what lobby

we're supposed to be at,



- we can find the mystery person.

- Yes, and I need to be there



so no harm comes to Miss Dawson.



Mr. Walker, you have

to come out in the open.



If you don't, how are you

ever gonna marry Miss Dawson?



- I'd love to marry her.

- Oh, that's so sweet!



Well, we need to find out

which hotel it is,



and then we can just use you as bait.



What are you doing here?



I live here, you geek. I mean,

may I please have a moment?



The suspense is killing me.

What do you want?



Out of the kindness of my heart,

I've decided to clue you in.



Come on.



Anything on the disk?



Just air.



Let's go to work.



"I know who you are. Meet

me under the palm in the lobby



at the Fairmark Hotel,

Saturday at   p. m. "



- The Fairmark!

- Oh, yes!



- Kids, you in there?

- Dad!



Hey, what's going on?



- Oh, hi, Dad.

- Mr. Gold.



What are you guys doing?



- Um... yeah.

- Just learning some new dance steps.



It's shuffle-ball-change,

Taylor, not change-ball-shuffle.



- You're such an idiot.

- I know you really are.



Okay, well, uh,

I'm going to go



and prepare for

tomorrow's assignment.



- Bye, Dad!

- Love you.



Okay, let's get

ahold of Mr. Walker.



We just need to stake out

the Fairmark at   p. m. Tomorrow.



Hi, Dad. Bye, Dad.



- Hold up, honey.

- What's up?



There's been some troubling

developments concerning Mr. Walker.



"Police today have announced

that missing schoolteacher,



Orlando Walker, may be a wanted

embezzler, in hiding since     .



A spokesperson for

the police department says



that Walker faces many years

of prison if convicted.



A sizable reward has

been posted for information



regarding Mr. Walker's whereabouts. "



- Oh, my gosh.

- I'm sorry, honey.



You can't always

tell a book by its cover.



Well, does it say there

if anyone knows where he is?



No. Apparently, he's still missing.



Great! I mean, I'm late.

I gotta go, Dad.



- Have a nice day. Bye, Gilda!

- Bye, dear!



- Lexy!

- Yeah?



I thought you could

use these walkie-talkies.



I picked up some extras.



That's a great idea,

but are you sure?



You may need them.






Good luck.



You know, I just may keep you.






Okay. Are you ready?



I think those kids are up to no good.



Hmm. That looks

pretty good over there.



Oh! Come on, Gabe.



It's  :  !

Can you stand it? It's  :  !



Okay, guys. Places.



No, not Miss Dawson.

I left her a message to lie low,



but she probably didn't understand.



No. Don't do it, Mr. Walker.



It's Mr. Goldblum!






Or not.



It's that homeless

guy with Mr. Walker's coat.



And look! Mrs. P?



It's Miss Stern!



Is she meeting Mr. Goldblum?



I'm confused.



Okay, are we on some new

TV show with hidden cameras?






I don't care what the prizes are.

This is getting too insane.



- Lexy!

- What?









Granville. I...



I can't believe it's you.

Y- You did this to me? Why?



I was your best employee,

your-your toughest deal maker.



I never did believe

you were a dead man.



You ruined my life. For all

intents and purposes, I am dead.




I must say, for a dead man,



you certainly seem

to be enjoying yourself.



Right. Enjoy living my

life on the run. You set me up.



Of course I did, old boy.



You're such an easy mark.



Why not make it easy

on yourself now and...



...hand it over?



I don't have the money.



Well, of course you don't have

the money, you fool. Just...



Just give me what belongs to me.



Don't go there, Mr. Walker.



Just trap him.



To make you go away, I'll give

you... half of it right now.









What are you

talking about, you fool?






Who sent you?



Ow! Aah! Oh! Ow!



- Are you okay?

- Yeah. It's just my ankle.



Don't let him get away! Oh!



Okay. You two go up,

and Jack and I will go down.



What the...?



There he is. Come on!



Look out!



Let's get out of here!






Jack! Jack, I'm stuck!






Come on!



Wow. Thank you, Jack.



Uh, come on.



Which way do we go?



Wait here, Jack.












Oh, my gosh.

Miss Dawson! Are you okay?



Oof, talk about

a fashion emergency.



I receive an exclusive invitation



for a free day at the spa,

and this is what it gets me.



What in the world

is going on here?



What are you doing here?



Well, it's a long story.



- But, for starters, Mr. Walker's alive.

- What?



Well, you're gonna flip

when you hear the details,



but they have to wait.



Right now, we have to    Granville.



He's the guy that issued this

oh-so-exclusive invitation.



Oh, Miss Dawson.



Forgive me for hosing you down

like this, but I've gotta go.






Are you okay?



Ladies and gentlemen,

quiet, please.



May I have your attention?



Thank you.



I am pleased to introduce someone



who has spent the last four weeks



living undercover as a homeless

man on the streets of Brooklyn.



He's here today

to tell us his story.



Ladies and gentlemen,

city council member Gary Eikare.



All right, Gary!



I am proud



to stand before you

today as a man



with some small insight into

the poverty on our streets.



Do you see this old coat?



To some, a coat

is merely an accessory,



a fashion statement.



To others, a coat



is a form of shelter.



A means of survival.



This dreary old coat



is practically the only

offering of kindness



I received in the past month.



A man literally took it

off his back... to keep me warm.



Good job!



That rag, a form of shelter?

Never thought of it that way.



Well, there's

a first time for everything.



Hey, come on.









- Ma'am?

- Oh, get me a cold one, garçon.



Right away.






- Mr. Walker!

- Have you seen Miss Dawson?



Um... Oh, there she is.









Aren't they just the bee's knees?



We... We lost him.



- What?

- What's going on here?



Hello. We're just

having tea with my grandma.



Come on, guys.




Can I get you a Napoleon?



Oh, thank you, sweetheart.






He couldn't have gotten too far.



Now, everyone, be cool.



Oh, wait. I have an idea.



Jack, there he is.



- Go! Go get him!

- Uh...



Aah! What's this?

Ladies, grab your purses!












Granville Falco,

masguerading as Detective Meany.



What kind of an alias is that?



Ugh, he was a meany, all right.



We'll see how mean

he is behind bars.



It seems that Miss Stern

liked Mr. Walker,



and she got jealous

about Miss Dawson



when she saw the picture in the paper.

She went snooping around his place



to see if he had

disappeared just to avoid her.



Meanwhile, Mr. Goldblum was

being rejected by Miss Dawson.



But as you can see, he soon set

his sights on Miss Stern, and voilà.



All's well that ends well.



Oh, boy. Mr. Walker's mom.



Don't they look sweet together?



We just have this teeny-weeny little

problem about Mr. Walker's future.



I'm pretty sure Miss Dawson would prefer

not to be married in a prison chapel.



I must say, Detective Potter

looks so much better without the knobs.



And last but not least, Dad.






I have waited

years for this moment!



I passed two kidney stones

and a case of sciatica



in the time it's taken me

to see you in handcuffs.



I'd have grandchildren by now

if it weren't for you.



You're under arrest for

impersonating an officer



and federal charges of

embezzlement and fraud.



Good riddance.



- Someday, I'll get you, Petrossian.

- Sir, I gotta arrest you, too.



You're wanted on the same

charge as your pal, here.



That's your man. He framed Walker.



The money disappeared

from his Swiss account.



If you're innocent, Mr. Petrossian,

what happened to the money?



- I wish I knew.

- Oh, babe.



Mrs. Petrossian,

where did you get that hideo...



I mean, extremely

unique bumblebee broach?



Miss Gold, this is hardly the time.



I'm sorry, but this

really is very important.



Oh, this? Well, let's see.



I've had it since

Reagan was in office.



Actually, I found it.



I had gone to the bank

to meet my son for lunch.



There was a paper bag on

the floor, so I picked it up.



Inside was the most

magnificent piece ofjewelry



I had ever seen.



I'm tellin'you, it would've

cost $   at the flea market.



- Look. Look what I found.

- Oh, wow.



We figured it must belong

to somebody in the bank.



But the next day,

my poor son was on the run.



I never had a chance

to find the owner.



...belongs to anybody?



Everyone behold

a very rare Canary diamond.



It's so rare that

there are less than



   certified Canary diamonds

around the world.



With its vivid color, unique

shape and flawless condition,



it's probably worth around...



...$   million.



This is wonderful.



I think that Meany... Granville...



...took the money out

of the Swiss account.



He put it in there

so he could take it out.



Then he bought the diamond

to hide the money.



I thought you stole it, Petrossian.



I was taking it to

a safety deposit box,



and then it was gone.



- Now give it back to me!

- Get him outta here!



Give it back to me!

It's mine!



This isn't fair!

This isn't fair.



Give it back to me! Mine!



You're a genius, Lexy.



In what part of the brain

do you store this information?



The bauble department.



Have you seen

the morning paper?



Uh, yeah.



You made the front page.



That's your byline.



Yeah. I can't believe it.



Maybe you should be one

of my career day speakers.



As a journalist.



Maybe even as a detective.



Well, my dad says they're

both kind of the same.



Orlando and I want to thank you.



The police have finished

their investigation,



and he's a free man now.



That's wonderful.



Gosh, Miss Dawson, I mean,

I just took my dad's advice.



You'd be amazed at what

hard work, imagination,



and a little luck can bring you.



Maybe we should

invite your dad to speak.



Yeah, that's a great idea.



I gotta go.



I'm meeting Orlando.

He wants to ask me something.



Okay, I'll see you later. Bye.



Oh, my gosh!









Hey. Hi.



Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Ah, thank you, sir.



I'll have grandchildren!



Liking the Dalmatian

look on Mrs. P.



Oh, yes.

That is a tail-wagger.



Uh, is she going

on the honeymoon too?



Bye, everyone!

Bye! Thank you!



Bye! Goodbye! Thank you!



Hey, Gabe. I'm sorry that Diane

aired the story before you did.



Yeah, it's okay.

I got a call into Geraldo.



So, tell me,

what's your whole secret?






Come on. You always

get the inside story.



Oh, Gabe.



Okay. There is no secret.



It's all about skill.



Oh, hey, Jack.



I heard you got your scholarship

renewed. Congratulations.



- Hey, Jen!

- Hey.



Thank you. I'm looking forward

to going back to Millington.



Partly because of you.



Well, you didn't have to say that,



but since you already did...



You did a great job,

Lexy, on the case.



You should be

proud of yourself.



I learned something totally

important from you, Jack.



Things aren't always

what they appear to be.



And that's good.

It keeps life interesting.



Are you starting a new

paper handbag trend?



Get a clue, Jack.

I've been shopping.



Of course.



It's for you.



I found them at a vintage shop,

and I sort of customized them.



Thank you. I like 'em.



Well, I thought maybe

we could go bowling sometime.



I don't think so.



Hey, no. That'd be fun.

Yeah! Oh, yeah!



All right, so what about

the shoes that other people have worn?



Shoes. Eww!



I think I can survive

wearing pre-worn shoes, guys.



Lexy, are you crazy?



You don't know where

those shoes have been.



Does the word "fungi"

mean anything to you?



Come on, Jen. My feet aren't

that elite. Neither are yours.



Get with the planet.



New York has got to be

the coolest city in the world.



It has a little bit of everything.



Be it mystery, intrigue

or good friends, it's all here.



And if you can't find it,

well, then you just have to...



...get a clue.

Special help by SergeiK