The Grinch Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, The Grinch script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Jim Carrey.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of War Of The Roses. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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The Grinch Script



Inside a snow flake...



like the one on your sleeve...



lay the small town of Whoville--



the home of the Whos!



and the Whoville Band marched

in their Christmas-ybest.



they loved Christmas the most...



without a single Who doubt.



a muncle for your uncle;



a fant for your aunt;



Sale on aisle three!



Excuse me one minute.

Cindy Lou? Honey?



- Dad? Doesn't this seem a bit much?

- Yeah?



This is what Christmas

is all about!



but the Grinch, who lived

just north of Whoville...



did not.



Hey, Drew, I'll race you!



You guys, where are we?



- Who flesh!

- Oh, Drew!



You'rescared of the Grinch



- Are too!

- Am not!



Wait for me!



Come on. Touch it.

Touch the door.



Do it for me, Stu.



Well done, Max!



Get my cloak.



I've been much too tolerant of these

''Who-venile'' delinquents...



and their innocent,

victimless pranks.



I guess I could use a little...



social interaction.



Merry Christmas!



You see, Max?

The city is a dangerous place.



The Grinch hated Christmas,

the whole Christmas season.



Be sure to run real fast with it, now.

Come on. Double time. Let's go. Move.



It could be that his head

wasn'ts crewedon just right...



- Idiot.

-may have been that his heart...



was two sizes too small.



I guess.



Doesn't this seem superfluous?






What do you want? I mean--



Hello, Mayor May-Who, sir.



one thousandth Whobilation.



says, uh, very clearly--



'' Every size of Who

we can measure...



knows that Whobilation is

a time we must treasure.''



Please tell me

thatyour boys...



were not up on Mount Crumpit...



- who hates Christmas!

- But it was the Grinch!



No, no, no, no, sir.

The boys didn't see any Grinch.



Oh, well.



That's a--

That's a relief.



Lou, I need this there by tomorrow.






You kids and the Grinch!



- A what?

- Exactly, honey.



And he's a What who

doesn't like Christmas.



Look at his mailbox.



Not a single Christmas card

in or out, ever!



And for the rest ofyou--



Jury duty!Jury duty!



Jury duty--



You're the-the-the--



The-the-the-- The Grinch!






Well, that worked out nicely.






Ourwork here is finished.



Help me! Please help!



That is not a chew toy!



You have no idea

where it's been!









There! Give me that!



Let's go.



Thanks for saving me.



Saving you?






Hold still!



Max, pick out a bow.



Hello! Hello!






What the hey--






Now, that's holiday.



Inher head bum-tumbled

a conflictor two.



''If the Grinch was sobad,

then why did he saveme?''



Maybe.Just maybe.



Oh, I can feel it, Lou.

This is the year.



When everybody asks...



Isn't this the chandelier

from the dining room?



It's all for the cause, dear.



-'Cause somehow I missed that one.

- Go on!



Every year...



- Hi!

- Martha!



And almost      years old.



Whoa! Hey!

Betty, Betty! Sweetie!



Good night, Betty.



Let's go home.



Come on. Hurry up, slowpoke.



Got to be a better way!



A car would have

paid for it self by now.



What's that stench?



It's fantastic!



Of course when I say ''we,''

I mean ''you.''



Oh, well.



I don't know.

It's some kind of soap.



Where are you, Christmas



Why can't I find you



Why have you gone away



My world is changing



I'm rear ranging



Does that mean Christmas



Changes too



Where are you, Christmas



Do you remember



The girl you used toknow



You and I



Were so carefree



Now nothing's easy



Did Christmas change



Or just









Be it ever soheinous



There's no place like home



First floor, factory rejects.



Those Whos are hard

to frazzle, Max!



But we did ourworst.

And that's all that matters.



She'll be scarred for life

ifwe're lucky.



Must be afraid of reprisals.



Yes! Down a size and a half.



And this time,

I'll keep it off.



Get the stick, Max!



There's no stick!



I'm smarter.



Any calls?



You have no messages.




Better check the out going.



Oh, well.



That's more like it.



Excellent year.






How are you?



I asked you first!



- I'm an idiot!

- You're an idiot!



In fact,

I'm going to whisper...



and gets back to me...



I won't be able to hear it.



You're an idiot!



Who could that be?



With her dad's blabbacorder,

she wouldn't give an inch.



- Where did he come from?

- Oh, well--



and tiny Who fellas...



He looks just like your boss.



So that's how it works.



It was Christmas Eve,

and a strange wind blew that night.



The poor dear.



But you know what?



Do you want a Christmas cookie?



- Which Christmas cookie would you like?

- Santa.



His first words.



Yes, that is a Santa plate.



Santa, bye-bye!



Oh, he wasa wonderful--



whateverhe was.



And we raised him like

any other Who child--



The Grinch?



He had no sense

of color coordination.



And if the truth be told,

he, um--heliked Martha.



Martha was my girl friend.



Put your back into it!



I tried to take him

under my wing.



You don't have a chance with her.

You're eight and you have a beard.



He had hair. Not pleasant.



He shed. Not right.



You know, Christmas

is my favorite time ofyear.



I just love the colors.



Red and green.



Did I have a crush

on the Grinch?



Of course not.



I didn't ask you that.






For some reason,

when he came home that day...






The fires oflove!



Oh, Martha!



Oh, Christmas!



You don't have

a chance with her.



Has everyone given their gifts?



- I haven't.

- What?



Merry Christmas, Martha May.



Mr. Grinch...



please take the bag off.



Yes, you take it off.



Put the book down.



And your foot.



Look at that hackjob!



Stupid present!



Stupid tree!



I hate Christmas!



The muscles.






I could hardly be a rit.



I hate Christmas!

I hate it!



And that was the last time

we ever saw him.



The very last time.



So, what ever the reason,

his hear to rhis shoes...



hes tood out side his cave,

hating the Whos.













hate you!



Aaron B. Benson Who,

I hate you.



Hate, hate, hate.

Hate, hate, hate.



Double hate.



Loathe entirely!






It's their Whobilation--



...hes narled with as neer.



Tomorrow is Christmas.



It's practically here.



Fetch me my sedative!



Now to take care

ofthose pesky memories.



Whobilation, Whobilation



And I may do something drastic.



That's fine, dear.

Askyour mother.



- Where did she go?

- Honey!



Honey. Hi!



And now the nominations...



Do I hear a nomination?



I nominate the Grinch!



My, my, my.






Let me quote a verse...



from The Book of Who.






'' No matter how different

a Who may appear...



Yes, well, th-the Book

also says the, uh--



''The award...



It does.



What page?



- It's in here.

- But the Book does say...



''The Cheermeister is the one who

deserves a back slap or a toast.




And I believe that soul

is the Grinch.



you will too.



She's right!



Fine. Fine.



why, it's up to you.



But I am telling you...



the Grinch will

never come down.



And when he doesn't,

the Mayorwill wear the crown.



Well, more or less.



Tick, tock, tick, tock



Old, young, big, small



Blast this Christmas music.



It's joy ful and triumphant.



Must drown them out!



Not working!



She'd invite the Grinch herself...



that brave Cindy Lou.



Play, monkey! Play!



Mr. Grinch?



Excuse me.



Hello, little girl.



The impudence! The audacity!



The unmitigated gall!



You've called down the thunder,

now get ready...



for the boom!



Gaze into the face offear.



My name is Cindy Lou Who.



You see, even now the terror...



is welling up inside you.



I'm not scared.



I don't think so.



Now you're doomed!



Run for your life...



before I kill again!



I'm a psycho!



Danger! Danger!



Maybe you need a time-out.



What do you want?




Celebrate with friends.''



That's a good one.



I know you hate Christmas...



but what if it's all

just a mis understanding?



- Don't care.

- I myself am having yuletide doubts.



and be a part of Christmas--



Your session is over. Make another

appointment with the receptionist--






You never mentioned...



an award.



- And I won?

- You won!



- That means there were losers.

- I guess.



I like it.



Martha Maywill be there.



Oh, she will?



And she'll see me.

A winner.



She'll be on me

like fleegle flies...



on a flat-faced

floogle horse.



but the ''G'' train

has left the station.



Will you come?



All right.



I don't know ifit's that

adorable twinkle in your eye...



or that noncomformist streak that

reminds me ofa younger, less hairy me.



Butyou've convinced me.



Who knows?

This Whobilation...






We can't be late

for the Whobilation.



The nerve ofthose Whos,

inviting me down there...



on such short notice.



'' :  

wallow in self-pity.




stare into the abyss.




solve world hunger.''



Tell no one.



'' :  Jazzercise.



 :   dinnerwith me.''

I can't cancel that again.



'' :   wrestle with

my self-loathing.''



I'm booked.



But what would I wear?



It's not a dress.

it's a kilt!






Stupid. Ugly. Out-of-date!



This is ridiculous. IfI can't

find something nice to wear...



I'm not going.



That's it. I'm not going.



Congratulations, Mr. Grinch!



He isn't here.






He didn't show?



Who could have predicted this?



But what ifit's a cruel prank?



What ifit's a cash bar?



But I'll be fashionably late.

No. Yes. No. Yes-- No!






Definitely not!



I'm going, and that's that.



Had my fingers crossed.



Maybe I should flip a coin!



A handsome, noble man...



a man who's had his

tonsils removed twice.



That's an interesting story.



You see, what happened was--



- Hello, Martha.

- He made it!



- Cindy, wha-wha--

- Honey!



Hot crowd. Hot crowd.



I believe I'm here to...



accept an award of some kind?



And the child...



mentioned a check?



- No, I didn't.

- All right, then. Give me the award.



Come on, while I'm young!



you'll getyour award.



But first,

a little family reunion.



They nursed you.



Your old biddies!



Areyou two still living?



We missed you!



Rose. The sweater.

The sweater, Rose.



Sweater? What areyou talkin' about?

No, I can't!



I can't do this!



Don't touch me there!



Put him in

the Chair ofCheer!



Chair ofCheer?



What's the Chair ofCheer?



- You didn't tell me about the Chair!

- Please, Mr. Grinch. Please?



It's that time ofyear.



The Cheermeister's ride

in the Chair ofCheer!



Put me down! I mean it!

I'll get a lawyer.



There'll be hell to pay!



- Mine first.

- I really don't know--



No, mine's the best!



You'll enjoy this.



This is not pudding.



What is it?



This is mine.



Christmas Conga!



Gee, look at the time.

I really should be getting back.



All right!









- Mine are homemade too.

- Okay.



Put it in. Bring it on!



Is that all you got?



Is that all you got?

Come on.



Outta the way, slow-mo!



Excuse me. Pardon me.



He's number one

in the sack race run!



Number one!

I'm number one!



I'm number one!



No child can beat the Grinch!






I beatyou!



And now it's time for the moment

we've all been waiting for.



Ah, yes! My award.



- And the check.

- There's no check.



I said, there's no check.

And now it's time...



for Present Pass It On!



A gift ofa Christmas shave.



Lookat thathackjob!



Good times.



Please become

Mrs. Augustus May-Who.



Ifyou agree to be mywife...



you'll also receive this:



It's a new car!



What doyou say, Martha?



Well, I--



These gifts are quite dazzling.



Ofcourse they are.



That's what

it's all about, isn't it?



That's what it's

always been about!






And the avarice.



The avarice never ends!



Look, I don't

wanna make waves.



But this whole Christmas

season is...



stupid, stupid, stupid!



There is, however...



one teeny-tiny...



Christmas tradition...



I find...



quite meaningful.






Somebody's fabulous!



- Let's go!

- No!



Excuse me, old-timer.

Mind ifI wet mywhistle?



Well, uh--



That's my good stuff.



Burn, baby! Burn!



Oh, wow.



Oh, the Whomanity!



- Let's go! Come on!

- No! Wait!






It's because I'm green,

isn't it?






You might wanna scooch over.



You did the right thing.



Out ofthe way!



It's gonna blow!



I'm hurt, Lou.



I'm hurt,

and I don't hurt easily.



Butyou and your family--



I'm so-- so disappointed.






Merry Christmas!



I quite enjoyed that.



Come on, come on!

Good thing we have a spare.



Suffering snorkelblatz!



They're relentless!



Only four hours till Christmas!



Yes, the Grinchknew

tomorrowallthe Whogirlsandboys...



And then, oh,

the noise!



Oh, the noise, noise,

noise, noise!



They'll bang on tong-tinglers.



and rare Who roast beast!



Oh, no.



I'm speaking in rhyme!



Blastyou, Whos!



themore the Grinch thought--



But how?



I mean, in what way?



Well, Christmas

isgoin'to the dogs









then you might as well--



The Grinchgota wonderful...






I knowjust what to do.



Andhe chuckled




at thisgreat Grinchytrick.



With this coat and this hat,

I'll look just like St. Nick.



You're a mean one

Mr. Grinch






Mr. Grinch



You're a bad banana with a



Greasy black peel



just face the music

You're a monster



Mr. Grinch

Yes, you are



Your heart's an empty hole



Mr. Grinch



I wouldn't touch you with a



Stay focused!



No one would denyit



Air bag's a little slow.



But that's what

these tests are for!



You'rea vile one



Mr. Grinch



You have termites

in your smile



You have all

the tender sweetness



Of a sea sick crocodile



Mr. Grinch



Sea sick crocodile



Talk about a recluse.



Merry Christmas!



Forgot about the reindeer.



Did that stop the old Grinch?



The Grinch simply said--



IfI can't find a reindeer...



I'll make one instead.



So he called his dog Max...



and he took

some red thread...



All right. You're a reindeer.



You're a freakwith a red nose,

and nobody likes you.



You hate Christmas!

You're gonna steal it!









You reject your own nose...



Why didn't I think ofthat?



Cut, print, check the gate.

Moving on.



That feels good.



This is nuts!



On Crasher!

On Thrasher!



On Vomit and Blitzkrieg!



Mommy, tell it to stop!



Almost lost my cool there.



All their windows were dark.

Quiet snow filled theair.



when he came to the first

little house on the square.



Welcome to Whoville, Max.






Did you hear something?



It's Santa!



Go right back to sleep.



Come on, Max.

It's our first stop.



The old Grinchy Claushissed...



and he climbed to the roof,

empty bags in his fist.



but if Santa could doit,

then so could the Grinch.



with a combo tuck and pike.



High degree of difficulty.



Then he stuck his head out

of the fire place flue.



A little more stealth, please.



...are the first thing to go.



Then he slunk to the ice box.






He eyed the Whos' feast.



He took the Who-pudding.



He took the roast beast.






He cleanedout that ice box

as quickasa flash.



Then he stuffed all the food

up the chimney with glee.



- And now--

- ...grinned the Grinch--



I'll stuff up the tree.



when he hear da small sound

like the coo of a dove.



Excuse me.



Santa Claus?

What areyou doing with our tree?



Why, my sweet little tot.



The fake Santa Claus lied.



on one side.



I'll fix it up there...



and I'll bring it back here.



Santa, what's Christmas

really about?






I mean...






I suppose.



I was afraid ofthat.



And his fib fooled the child.



and he sent her tobed.



- What?

- Don't forget the Grinch.



I know he's mean

and hairy and smelly.






You think he's sweet?



Merry Christmas, Santa.



Nice kid.



Bad judge of character.



was a crumb that was even

too small for a mouse.



Then hes lithe red and slunk,

with a smile most unpleasant...



around each Who home,

and he took every present.



Clearance sale.

Everything must go.



What now?



No, silly!



Kiss me, you fool!






It's all you, Maxie!



herode with his load

to the tiptop to dumpit.



We did it!



That wasn't so bad, was it, Max?



They'll be waking up now.



All those Whos

down in Whoville...



will all cry.



What an embarrassment!

I've been robbed!



Well, I wonderwho

could've done this.



Tell you people one thing:



Invite the Grinch...



destroy Christmas.



Invite the Grinch,

destroy Christmas!



But did anyone listen to me?



- I did.

- No!



You choose to listen

to a little...



not-to-be-taken-seriously girl...



Ifshe isn't, I am.



I'm glad he took

our presents.



- What?

- I--



Well, I-- I'm glad.



You're glad everything

is gone.



You're glad that the Grinch...






No, no, no, not wrecked--

pulverized Christmas.



You can't hurt Christmas,

Mr. Mayor...



And me.

She's been trying to tell me.



Oh, give me a break.



Merry Christmas!



Mr. Grinch?



Now for the final note

in my symphony...



of down right

nasty not-niceness!



The crescendo

of my odious opus!






It'll be like

music to my ears!



Then the Grinch heard a sound

rising over the snow.



It started in low,

then it started to grow.



But the sound wasn't sad.



Why, this sounded merry.



But it was merry. Very.



Some how or other,

it came just the same!



Mr. Grinch?



And the Grinch, with his Grinch feet

ice-cold in the snow...



stood puzzling and puzzling.



How could it be so?



It came without ribbons!



It came without tags!



And he puzzled and puzzled...



till his puzzler was sore.



Then the Grinch

thought of something...



he hadn't before.



Maybe Christmas--



...he thought--



doesn't come from a store.



Maybe Christmas...






means a little bit more.



Help me!









And what happened then--



Well, in Whoville

they say...



that the Grinch's

small heart...



What's happening to me?



I'm all...



toasty inside.



And I'm leaking.



I love ya!



Get out of here!

One step at a time.



What is the deal?






This can't happen!



It shouldn't! It couldn't!

It mustn't! It wouldn't!



Not now, not then,

not ever again!



Oh, well.



It'sjust toys, right?



Hi, Mr. Grinch!



I came to see you.



No one should be alone

on Christmas.



I gotya, Cindy Lou!



You did it!



Now scoot over!

It's my turn to drive!



I'd better slow

this puppy down!



We're gonna crash!



Even ifwe're

horribly mangled...



there'll be no sad faces

on Christmas.



- What is it?

- Help!



My baby!



Oh, Martha,

grab an end.



This could be a little more

difficult to negotiate.



Heads up, Whoville!






Thanks for the help.



All right.



What do we have here?



You got me, Officer!



I did it!



I'm the Grinch

that stole Christmas.



And I'm sorry.



Put me in a choke hold?

Blind me with pepper spray?



You heard him, Officer.

He admitted it.



Yes, I heard him,

all right.



He said he was sorry.



Help me out here, people.



I'm afraid I do have

something foryou!



Your ring back.



someone else.



No hard feelings?



Your cheek's so--



I know.




- No.

- Greasy?






Welcome, Christmas



Come this way



Welcome, Christmas



Christmas Day



Welcome, welcome



Welcome, welcome



Christmas Day

isin our grasp



Welcome, Christmas

Bring your--



- Cheer

- Cheer



Welcome, all Whos












And he--he himself, the Grinch--

carved the roastbeast.






There's nothin' like the holidays.



Too late! That'll be mine.



Where are you, Christmas



I think I've found you



This time I'll make you stay



All will be singing



Bells will be ringing



Now and forever



Christmas Day

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