Voila! Finally, the Hollywood Ending
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Woody Allen movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Hollywood Ending. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
You know who would be perfect to direct this...
...not that I relish the idea of working with him, but my ex-husband.
He's perfect for this material.
She's right. It's his kind of story.
I love Val, but with all due respect, he's araving, incompetent psychotic.
He's not incompetent.
They should lock him up andthrow away the key. Don't take that the wrong way.
We'll wind up $ million over budget and no picture to boot.
I did apicture with him at Firestone. He never fini...had anervous breakdown.
He was under alot of stress. We'd just broken up.
Honey, he was fired off apicture here at Galaxie before I took over.
They said his demands were outrageous.
The light hadto be perfect. The sun hadto be just right.
He demandedthey replace the leading lady.
He wantedto reshoot dailies, fire the cameraman.
He got shingles. They shut downthe picture and found another director.
You don't have to tell me.
I was marriedto himthen. But that was years ago.
His best pictures were years ago. Then he became an artiste.
I amthe last personto defendthat craziness, because it drove me nuts.
But Val cares about movies. He was bornto do this material.
Ellie, we're talking about shingles, headaches. Why open a can of worms?
He's mellowed, I'mtelling you.
Who better to direct this? New York's in his marrow.
Just let me say this: Ruth.
-Yes, Ruth. -No way.
He's great! I know we could get him. He'd be safe.
We can put our foot on his neck. Martin Ruth!
Val hasn't worked in years. We could make a good deal.
Then watch him like ahawk.
We're goingto lose alot more with Val!
I agree with Ellie. I think he's the ideal director for this project.
But we won't use him, because who needstrouble?
And why would he work with us, given allthe personal baggage?
I'mtold he's in no position to be fussy.
I can't stand it here! What the hell am I doing in Canada?
Lori, they got moose up here! Are moose carnivorous?
How can you be homesick? You got there yesterday. You come home tomorrow.
Val! We're goodto go, Val! Waiting on you!
Did my agent call? Any word onthat TV movie?
The interracial abortion gene-splicingthing?
The TV movie decided to go with Peter Bogdanovich.
Oh, that's great!
That's just great!
You know, I love Peter. Peter's abeautiful guy.
God bless him. Oh, God.
The client wants overhead coverage of the spray cans.
One minute! This is humiliating! I'm up here shooting a deodorant commercial.
I got two Oscars! Up here you don't need Oscars, you need antlers!
Here's a funny script about two fraternity kids...
...who invent amachine to turn women back into virgins. It's very clever.
When you asked me to come out here...
...you promised me I wouldn't just be one of those bright women who...
...finds properties, goesto lunch times developingthem,
then never gets one made.
Honey, "The City That Never Sleeps" is greenlit. That's been your project.
Until I suggest the director. Then...
...though you admit he's perfect, I get shot down.
You weren't shot down.
It's arisky choice, but an inspired one.
I think you want to help him because you feel guilty.
Guilty? Why? Because I fell in love with you?
I put in enough years inthat marriage...
Right. You did nothing wrong.
I know, and I brought up his name because...
...he would give youthe best movie for that script.
He's probably too angry to speakto you.
And he could ruinthe picture to get even with me...
No, you're wrong about that. He would be grateful. He needs a comeback.
Ellie, this is a very, very expensive film.
It has solid box office potential.
He can do it.
You don't regret leaving him, do you?
One day you look up and realize that laughs are not enough.
I can handle him, Hal. ljust got tired of havingto allthe time.
Andthen, you know...I met you.
What are you doing home?
No, Val, not again! You quit over nothing again?!
Not over nothing. I quit over abigthing.
They fired me. I thought that was big enoughto quit over.
Oh, Val, that's just great!
I got the last plane out of Toronto.
Have you ever seen Canada? Now I know why there's no crime up there.
I must say, you don't seem too enthused at seeing me.
Can you blame me? Now you'lljust sit around, talking about the good old days.
I got to get apicture. Someone has to take a chance on me.
This is ridiculous. When you're cold, you're cold.
Fortunately, my business manager put
away enough money before he went to prison...
...for me to live on another weeks, maybe.
Your agent called.
If you had come with me, it might have been different.
Two people in a sleeping bag is alot cozier.
Who'd go on for me inthe play?
For God's sakes, it's an off-off-Broadway play!
Your understudy could have gone on.
Are you kidding? My understudy?
That'd be the night Steven Spielberg comes. Or Harvey Weinstein.
They're not coming, believe me. They're fasting.
I would have been so good inthat Shakespeare movie.
Pelts. I traded with a fur trapper between shots...
...so the trip wouldn't be atotal loss.
Your agent sent over that script.
Why didn't youtell me about this?
"The City That Never Sleeps".
When didthis come in?
Well? What did youthink of it?
I think it has definite potential.
It's got areally good Manhattan feelto it.
They're interested in you directing.
That's, uh, that's fine with me.
This isthe kind of material I can do great. I can make this script sing.
This is New York. It's nightclubs, the skyline.
-Want some water? I'm very excited. -Me, too.
Who wants me?
Well, we have alittle sellingto do, but Galaxie is making it.
-Hal Yeager? -That's right.
He stole my wife.
Ellie'sthe one pushing you.
Pass! I'm not goingto work with Hal Yeager and Ellie.
He's a Philistine and she's a quisling. It's areligious conflict.
Calm down. It's everything you've been looking for.
I'm frankly flabbergasted they'd eventhink of me.
They didn't think of you. She did.
She convinced Yeager to fly to New York and meet with you.
This guy stole my wife.
He doesn't holdthat against you. It's business.
Can you believe that she would leave me for Hal Yeager?
I still can't get my mind around it. Mr. Slick...
The price of his haircut could feed a family of five.
Calm down. You're getting all red.
And you're telling me he doesn't want me? She'sthe...?
The nerve of that... He's such amanicured phony!
May he fall on his blow comb and get hot inthe wrong place.
Please, Val. Don't do anything to killthis. It's a golden opportunity.
I'd rather do the geriatric diaper commercial I turned down.
That's what the future holds if this fallsthrough.
Of course I wouldn't. This is aterrific script. I....
Come on, make some sense now.
A $ -million, first-class feature film.
A big payday, which you need. And...
...if you score withthis, you're back ontop.
A gift like this will never drop in your lap again.
Just take the meeting with Yeager.
-And Ellie. -Yes, and Ellie.
I'll get you half amillion dollars.
A lousy half milthey're offer...
They want to buy prestige at the Shrine on Oscar night for ahalf mil?
There's no offer yet.
I reject their offer!
-There's nothingto reject. -Well, I reject it anyhow.
You meet with him and be nice, or I'm out of here.
I finally get an offer worthy of my gifts and look where it comes from!
There is no offer yet. I am so tired of allthis bigtalk...
...about how big you were ten years ago. Things change. You can't get work.
-Part of me wants it badly. -Andthe other part?
Also wants it. That'sthe problem.
-lt only takes one hit. -I know.
I want arole.
I'm not hired yet. He hasto meet me andthrow his weight around.
Not just abit part. I want to show what I can do.
I can't stick my girlfriend inthe movie.
But I'm good.
I told youto take acting lessons.
I'm anatural. Classes would ruin me.
Ellie feels guilty, so this is her way of clearing her conscience.
Great! Who cares how it came about?
This whole thing is creepy, Lori.
This is a woman I was married to for years.
We made love! I held her over the toilet when she threw up.
From making love with you?
Not from making love! From eating sushi.
I usedto hug her when she was afraid of flying.
I kissed her ontop of the Eiffel Tower.
I swam inthe moonlight with her at Montauk.
Now I have to take ameeting with her?
I have very mixed feelings. This guy hasto show me he's changed.
He's not in aposition to make demands.
Because it was over for him years ago! All he's done for years...
...is garbage! I'm not saying that as criticism.
The question is, do I let this has-been make his comeback on my money?
He's not ahas-been. He's a very good director who's fallen on hardtimes.
He brought it on himself! He's his own worst enemy!
Think of the press angle.
Val Waxman does his comeback film for Galaxie Pictures.
What good isthat if he ruinsthe picture?
He won't ruin it!
No, because I'll fire him.
I won't take temperamental antics from some "auteur" genius.
You're doing ajack story.
He can do this film better than anyone else.
-You're so nervous. -I'm not nervous. I'mtense.
No, I'mtense. When I'm nervous, I bite my nails. When I'mtense, I do this.
Just calm down and act professional.
I'm fine. But this is a guy who stole my wife.
Years ago, I would never have made a film for him.
Now I'm auditioning for him? It's crazy.
I would kill for this job.
But the people I want to kill are the people offering me the job.
Inthe cab, I took ablue pill.
That wasto calm my anger, but it had speed in it...
...so I took another pill to calm downthe speed.
Well, this gets me back up to speed where I want to be...
...for the meeting.
That other pill I took keeps me dry when it's raining out.
-Ellie! Wonderfulto see you. -Hello, Al.
-Al, how are you? -Nice to see you.
You know Hal.
I'm so glad you could get here.
Are they still having power failures?
I readthere was aterrible power failure in California.
-Al, you want somethingto drink? -Coffee.
They saidthe electricity was going off....
Come on in.
Since when do you wear suits?
You have milk?
You never wore suits.
Val, you look very good.
I'm okay. I've been having some back spasms...
...and I have atorn rotator cuff, and, uh, my knee, I have....
I have ahearing loss. It's so odd. In my left ear.
What'd youthink of the script?
The script? Well...
...the movie it's based on was a stupid little potboiler.
He's asking about the script, Val.
The rewrite is good.
It's good. I thinkthis could make...
...atough, gritty, New York big city movie.
You can't make any money just in big cities.
Well, where wouldthis play? It won't...
...appealto farmers, or shopping malls in Biloxi.
Mounted properly, this picture will have universal appeal.
Where do youthink the demographics are?
You mean why the country got so stupid suddenly?
My theory is fast foods.
The film's age group. Where do you see it?
The age? Uh, this will appeal to, you know...
...teenagers, young adults...
...and, kids, adolescents, I think...
...toddlers, I imagine. Newborns.
Our marketing research showsthe film has wide appeal for both sexes.
Yes, I agree. Andthen some.
-But the script has some holes in it. -Oh, Val.
Well, the climax, for instance. I thinkthe climax comes...
...too early. It should come fter the trial scene.
Didn't I say that? The inciting event should come later.
Andthe character of Benny....
I feel we should shoot Benny with ahandheld camera, not a Steadicam.
It should be nervous, like his inner personality.
I don't know if I like that.
You said it could be with a Steadicam.
How do you feel about this? What if we shot the picture in black and white?
-New York is ablack and white town. -Forget it.
Arty. It's arty.
Anybody have an aspirin?
Try one of these. My herbalist gave themto me.
I can do this picture. I have a feel for it.
I see it all, maybe with a Cole Porter score.
Okay, well, let us discuss it.
We're talkingto other directors. We'll let you know.
Maybe Irving Berlin or something, because...
We have to discuss it.
If there ever was a Val Waxman property, this is it.
We'll keep intouch.
-Anyone got aXanax? -Zantac. I got an ulcer, too.
NotZantac. Xanax. It's a completely different problem.
Can I talkto you for a second?
Listen, Val. Sorry.
It was great seeing you again.
-You've got an herbalist? -Yeah, he's a genius.
In Beverly Hills, he's a genius. In New York, he'd be low-normal.
We use a different rating system.
When we were kids, there were ten foreign films a week inthe city.
Italian, French, Spanish...
Italian films. I love them!
Val Waxman. Any messages?
Did you see my cat?
Isn't it neat?
-Anything? -Not yet. No.
We were discussing Hitchcock. Truffaut said "Notorious" was his best film.
I agree. A masterpiece.
What? You hate that movie. The ending makes you crazy.
Because it's amasterpiece.
Every time I watch Cary Grant carry Ingrid Bergman downthe stairs...
...I thinkthe Germans will catchthem.
No matter how many times I see it.
Hitchcock was an artist, but commercial.
You say that like it's good.
You have to be both. He knew what he was doing.
In making movies, you have to think about the audience...
...or you're just making movies for yourself. It's artistic masturbation.
Right. You're anarcissist.
Then I'm a classic narcissist.
Have I told you my views on masturbation?
For me, the nicest thing about masturbation is afterward...
They're laughing. I'm not joking.
Want a weinie?
You got it. You're directing "The City That Never Sleeps". ljust heard.
I can't believe it. I can't speak!
I got you ahalf-million, plus / th point after quadruple break-even.
They're going backto L.A. tonight. Could you meet Ellie for a drink?
Because you owe her thanks. She went out on alimb for you.
She wantsto be sure you're both onthe same page.
Hal Yeager is quickto hire,
quickto fire. You need Ellie to run interference.
All right, all right. I'll meet her at...
...Bemelmans Bar at : . I can spare minutes.
I can't tell you... My head's swimming.
A tenth of apoint after quadruple break-even!
You are really a shark, Al.
Can I get a Beck's?
Since we'll be workingtogether, I thought we shouldtalk.
It's fine with me.
As you know, Hal was alittle skeptical at first...
...but inthe end, he's abusinessman and very professional.
Let me set your mind at ease. Don't worry.
Things will go very smoothly. This is...
...abig shot for me. I realize that...
...many people think I'm difficult, but...
...I can be very professional, and obviously Hal's very professional...
...and you're professional, clearly...
...so as long as business is business...
I cannot understand how you could leave me for that cheesy windbag!
It's mind-numbing. ljust don't understand.
And you carried on with him behind my back for months.
It was not months.
Yes, it was.
You carried on behind my back. And under my nose.
That'stwice a day. Both places.
I am not.
You were always onthe phone with him. Exchanging glances.
Then you were exchanging fluids. I can't believe I didn't see it.
You were too self-absorbed, trying to be the great American film artist.
Don't tell me that. You were fine till I startedto lose my audience.
Then you dump me and move to Beverly Hills.
You hated California. We both did.
You hatedtraveling everyplace by car allthe time and...
...I hatedtraveling by mudslide.
What could I do? Our marriage wasn't going anyplace.
Where did you want it to go? Where do marriages go?
After a while they alljust lay there. That'sthe thing about marriage.
It was introuble. You don't see what you don't want to see.
How was it introuble?
We didn't communicate.
We had sex.
Yes, we had sex, but we never talked.
Sex is better thantalk. Ask anyone.
Talk is what you suffer through to get to sex.
You isolate everything. You can't just compartmentalize like that.
A good marriage consists of many parts well-integrated.
-ls one of those parts adultery? -Never!
Absolutely! At the Plaza Hotel. I got the bill!
You had escargot that afternoon. It's disgusting.
Sex and snails withthat roast beef from Beverly Hills.
You were so busy playingthe American artist. That's what you were doing...
...playing. You felt it was important to be uncompromising...
...andtemperamental and difficult... God, difficult!
And starve and suffer.
You had allthe symptoms, but not the disease.
You usedto think I was creative and original.
I still do...as a filmmaker.
When you became creative as ahypochondriac, that was it.
Those attacks were real!
-Oh, yeah? -Yes!
The Black Plague, Val?
An allergy to oxygen?
Elm blight? Only trees get elm blight... elmtrees.
Can I sum it up? You cheated on me, liedto me, dumped me and...
We're here to discuss business.
I want to keep this professional.
Absolutely. I think we should rework the script alittle.
It doesn't have to be middle-aged people.
The character of Kelly Swain could be coming out of college instead.
Out of law school.
Yeah. I think Galaxie would like that.
We could maybe cast somebody like Terry Tyler, or...
...find some talented new kid.
You are such a shallow jerk!
That you would leave me for a guy who'sthe opposite of what I am!
With his ski lodge in Aspen and his collection of vintage cars.
If I drove around in a Mercedes, people wouldthink I was Himmler!
Hal is very smart and abrilliant deal maker.
He's been audited by the best.
He's made some pretty financially successful American films.
That says it all. He'sthe white line downthe middle of the road.
You had your little flirtations, too. There wasthat ltalian model.
No. You were the only one I was serious with.
My God, until you suddenly became noncommunicative and unresponsive...
...and you dumped me andthen...
This movie will be a fun movie to do, I think.
I have alot of ideasto discuss.
Good. And nowthat the studio's agreedto you...
...you'll have their full support.
Thank you very much. I think I want a foreign cameraman.
They get atexture inthe work American cameramen never get.
A certain mobility.
I remember coming home and picking up the extension
and you're talkingto this guy!
I hear my wife, lovey-dovey with her lover saying she misses her lover!
He wasn't my lover yet.
Bull! He was your lover! I recognize the voice...
Hal Yeager from Galaxie Pictures!
I think, "Why is my wife talkingto him? They're making me a surprise party."
-I thought they were planning my party. -Were they?
No! They were having an affair! Followthe story!
-I can't believe this. -I'm going.
We're discussingthe movie.
No, I'm sorry.
I won't bother you. I'll make sure no one will interfere creatively.
How about Denise Daniels asthe blackmailer?
I think she would be great. Or Sarah Bedloe would be interesting.
I pick up the phone to order a corned beef sandwich,
she'stalkingto her lover.
-I'll be back from L.A. in weeks... -This will be a fun picture.
I look forwardto it. And about Hal Yeager...
...the word on him is cross-dresser. Check it out.
I pick up the phone and she...
Hal, we're off to areally good start.
Great. Tell me.
Val wantsto use a foreign cameraman...
...which I think we should give him, because he has areal visual concept.
He's chosen Kow Chan...
...a Chinese cameraman who's done some really stunning work...
...mostly withthe Red Army.
He says he doesn't like his hotel. He much prefer the Sherry.
Val wantsto go with Elio Sebastian as art director.
Val saysthat Elio really knows the streets of New York.
Every location is out there waitingto be found.
Great. It saves us a fortune.
Times Square and Harlem. I have to buildthem.
We can't build Times Square and Harlem.
He wantsto build the Empire State Building? No!
Just the first stories.
No, sweetheart. It's not gonnahappen.
-Okay, I'll handle it. -Good. Great. Listen, I miss you.
Great. Really New York moody. Grey and cloudy.
-That's how it is. -Today's our first sunny day.
It's fabulous here. Sunny and clear every day.
I have to run. I'm having another skin cancer removed.
This is perfect. This view is absolutely perfect.
No, I hate it. We're just going to have to build it.
Build Central Park?
Forget what I said about mixing real locations and sets.
Not to be amoney watchdog, but if you build everything...
...I say this metaphorically... it'll be over my dead body.
Okay, if not the whole park... just the reservoir.
Sure. You get a studio, put in atank...
...fill it with a fewthousand gallons of water. It'll work.
Wait! Trees behind it. New York as a symphony in green.
Green I hate! I never use green. No.
Tell Mother Nature. Trees are green!
We can play it for the winter. Use snow.
I buy that. A white background...
...to set off the two leads in marvelous forties red!
What is he saying?
No white. He cannot shoot white background.
What have you gotten me into?
You know, I prefer green myself. Green and red.
All I'm saying is, I think you're being precipitous in firing him.
Look, I never wantedthis guy, not from day one.
I beg your entire pardon.
May I offer for your consideration a single concept...
Val, you don't have to lean into the speaker.
He's out. I want him out before this picture becomes a cost nightmare.
Hal, maybe if we had atalk with him...
I said fromthe start to use Harold Pappas!
Pappas is ahack! He's safe, but uninspired. I can't work with him.
Then you should bow out now.
I said I can't work him. I didn't say I wouldn't.
Val, Pappas has how many...
...nominations compared to this Greenwich Village lunatic?
They spent more getting those nominations...
...than he'd spend onthe reservoir.
What? I didn't get that.
I gave in onthe Chinese cameraman. I've kept away from your picture.
I'm saying I'd feel more secure with Pappas.
A wordto the wise.
Isthere anything about the part of Benny I should know?
Only that he's a Broadway sharpie, a gambler.
-Like Sky Masterson? -Exactly.
Forgive me if this seems obvious...
...but he's a Runyonesque bookmaker type...
...tough but softhearted with his wife, whom he loves?
That's it onthe nose. Perfect.
Some guys were looking for you. Seems you owe them some money.
I hope you didn't tellthem anything! I could find myself in deep trouble!
Deep, deep trouble!
I'll wait for you.
If they give you years...
...l'll be waiting.
If they give you years...
...l'll be waiting.
If you get two consecutive life sentences...
...l'll be waiting.
I thought that last girl was interesting.
She read better thanthe others.
Yes, but Claire's supposed to be classy.
Didn't youthink she was abit cheap?
To be perfectly honest, I thought she radiated stupidity.
I mean, her reading was competent, but...
...my God, her persona, it'strashy and dumb.
I think I'd like to use her. She was interesting.
You're the director.
It's not that big apart.
But it's a featured role. Claire's supposedto be a socialite.
This girl, Lori Fox, is a step above trailer park.
I'd hardly call it trailer park.
I said a step above.
Well, I'd like to use her. I thought she was perfect for the role.
Fine. It's your decision. I'm just throwing out ideas.
Take 'em or leave 'em.
-Two for Yeager. -They're clearing your table.
I'm so glad you could come in. I really am.
I was here on business and wanted an excuse to see you.
I know you. You're checking up on me. Everything's going fine.
Val's Val. He seems reasonably flexible and most of his ideas are really good.
-I hope so. -You'll see.
Right this way.
There's nothing making it awkward personally?
No. I think he's acceptedthings and moved on.
By the way, Andrea Ford's covering the making of the film for Esquire.
Hey, Val! We were just talking about you.
Ellie told me how wellthings are going.
How are you? Everything okay?
-What are you doing here? -What do you mean?
We usedto eat here allthe time.
Haljust came in on aplane.
That isthe best way to fly. What are you doing inthis restaurant right now?
What? We came to get abite to eat. Are you okay?
You're awfully fidgety. Are you fine?
Are you okay?
I'm fine. You should go to your table. It's crowded and...
I'm ready to go.
Oh, look! It'sthat woman fromthe auditiontoday!
Very funny! Aren't you going to introduce me?
Lori Fox, isn't it? Of course.
Yes, I think it was.
Val is such ariot. Stop kidding around.
ljust wantedto put your mind at ease that...
...eventhough I'mthe director's significant other, I can still act.
-Mort, I thought you were in Aspen. -I wish.
You know Ellie, my fiancée.
-Congratulations. When'sthe date? -New Year's Eve.
Oh, my goodness! How romantic!
Congratulations on your new film.
-You know Val Waxman. -Sure.
We sued him for failure to complete apicture.
Great. That makes me feel secure.
I'll see youtomorrow, Val.
Hurry! I'll miss my flight.
This is abadtime for youto go. I'm very vulnerable.
I have to get into shape for the movie. The spa will give me the discipline.
You're not overweight.
My God, I'm ahorse! I have to appear in lingerie.
What if we need you?
My scene isn't until the end of shooting.
What if I need you?
You'll be fine. You're abig boy.
You know I'm afraid to sleep alone.
I keep thinking people are breaking in or I lay awake...
...thinking of death and blackness andthe abyss.
Oh! Don't forget to water my cactus.
Well, call me every day.
I can't. They don't have phones at the Dolby Ranch...
...to discourage secret eating schemes.
Oh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
I got to go!
And we want to see the earrings. Profile.
Other profile, please.
Is it true your cameraman speaks only Chinese?
It's so hardto find a good Cantonese cameramanthese days.
The neighborhoods don't have them anymore.
Hal Yeager's known to be very hands on...
...very hot-tempered, quickto replace people. Doesthat bother you?
No, because they agreedto leave me alone during shooting.
I have complete freedom.
How about working so closely with your ex-wife?
It's not so close. She'lljust be up and back.
There must be some bitterness...
...especially nowthat she's going to marry Hal Yeager...
...the man she left you for, who's now your boss?
Who are you?
Andrea Ford. I'm doing a story onthe making of the movie for Esquire.
Didn't they tell you? I'll be observingthe whole time.
Because I don't usually like when journalists...
...hang aroundthe set when I work.
Thentalkto the press department. But I won't get in your way.
I am ahuge fan.
Oh, huge. I have loved all of your movies.
And you'll be hanging around, doing a story?
Yes. You know, I've alwaysthought of you...
...as akind of unique American artist, really.
Well, I'm sure you won't be inthe way.
There's plenty of room, and...
Val, I'm so sorry... can I steal him for aminute?
There's some things we have to go over.
I'll get him right back. I'm so sorry.
You be careful. She's akiller.
I didn't want her around, but the press department...
...told Hal we'd get the cover of Esquire, so she's here.
How is she akiller? She loves me.
Well, that's fine if she likes you. Otherwise, she can be biting.
I hear she's all sugar and sweetness to get in your good graces...
...then wham! She told Sean Madigan how she loved all his films...
...and she was abig fan and he was a unique American artist...
...andthen inthe profile she did, she disemboweled him.
Well, if you happento fall for that kind of flattery....
-I can handle it. -You couldn't handle Shirley Temple.
Hey, give me abreak, will you?
I can't figure it out. It's okay to have an affair with Hal Yeager.
Everyone's entitledto one psychotic episode, but to marry the guy is crazy.
-I wouldn't talk, if I were you. -What doesthat mean?
How long have you been living withthat wind-up doll I met?
You know I don't like to sleep alone. I'm not goingto marry her.
Andthat wind-up doll happens to have a Ph.D.
In what? History of gym?
Will you give me abreak withthe cutting remarks?
I have apicture to do Tuesday. I'mthinking about my work.
Okay. Now get some rest this weekend.
Don't lie around worrying about what could go wrong.
Don't worry. I won't lie around.
I got my hand onthe wheel, honey. This picture's inthe bank.
Amanda, who is it?
I don't know. Uncle Al, it's for you.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
You have to get over here right away.
Why? I'm at my sister's for a seder.
You have to get over here. It's amatter of life and death!
It's open! Come in!
What is it? What's going on? Why am I here?
Al, I'm goingto try to explain thisto you.
I came home and started to make notes onthe script.
We shoot Tuesday and I wantedto, you know.
Andthen I startedto get nervous, so I sat down onthe sofa...
...and I was doing my deep breathing exercises, to stay calm.
And it was working, and I startedto relax...
...and I dozed off. And I slept for a while...
...andthen I woke up, Al, and...
...I can't see anything!
I'm blind! I'm blind, Al!
I'm blind, I'm blind! I can't see!
What do you mean?
What do you mean, what do I mean?
Like the guys inthe street with dark glasses and accordions.
Well, are youtrying?
Al, you can't try to see.
You look around and you see or you don't see. I don't see.
-How can you be blind? -Howthe hell do I know?
Al, I'm scared!
What did you eat?
What'sthe difference what I ate?
You can't lose your vision from aplate of tofu!
I never heard of this.
I did. Remember the actor Harvey Gates?
He lost his vision suddenly.
-From what? -Grapefruit.
He had atumor the size of a grapefruit on his brain.
And he went blind?
Yes, he went blind. And a few months later, he went dead...
...which is worse than blind, 'cause your options decrease.
Relax. You don't have abraintumor.
Al, with all due respect...
...let me hear that from someone who went to abetter medical school...
...than William Morris.
We'll get youto Dr. Mason. You still use him, right?
No, Mason dropped dead onthe treadmill. I use Koch.
I use Koch, too. Did you bump into anything? Fall? Bonk your head?
I didn't bump my head. I have abrain tumor, that'sthe story here!
The end is in sight! I see the wall!
I thought you couldn't see.
It's an expression! I don't actually mean I see a wall.
It's in my mind's eye!
I remember when Ellie and I took youto the hospital...
...because you were convinced you had hoof and mouth disease.
Oh, God, Ellie. If I die, Al...
...tell Ellie I'm sorry I saidthose thingsto her. I saidterrible things.
I called her all kinds of names.
Probably because I never stopped loving her.
You're not dying.
If I don't die, tell her she's atramp!
She's living with a guy, the best you can say about him...
...is sometimes he returns phone calls!
Dr. Koch? It's Al Hack.
Sorry to call on aholiday, but I'm here with Val Waxman...
You can sit back now.
So what'sthe story?
Your optic nerve is normal. Your eyes are normal. I don't see anything.
I don't see anything, either. That'sthe problem!
Any tumor large enoughto affect his vision so dramatically would show up.
I wish I was in as good health as he is.
This is atextbook scenario.
Physically, you're %
But just like someone who...
...has ahysterical paralysis, apatient who...
...is fine, but can't walk, or apatient who loses his or her voice...
...from ahorrible shock, or extreme, stress-relatedtrauma...
...being a film director, your inner conflicts have...
...expressedthemselves in atelling fashion. You're psychosomatically blind.
-How can I get rid of it? -By treatment.
By understandingthe roots of your conflict...
...it's likely this blindness will go away.
Real growth...is always very slow.
There goes my comeback.
You cannot breathe a word of thisto anybody.
You have to tellthem, Al. ljust dreadtelling Ellie.
Are you nuts? They'll fire you.
Fire me? I obviously can't direct the picture.
What? How can you blowthis shot?
What are youtalking about? I'm blind!
What doesthat mean? What are you saying?
If you pull out of this project because psychological stress...
...has made you go blind, you'll never work again.
Maybe they can postpone it.
Because you're blind?
You direct this picture and bring in ahit...
...or I leave you withtwo words: homeless man.
I can't... How can I...
You muddle your way through until your sight returns.
Al, I can't direct the picture. I'm blind!
Have you seen some of the pictures out there?
They'll catch me in minutes.
Maybe, maybe not. If they do, you're no worse off than if you confess...
...because you're finished inthe business anyway.
I take one step onthe set, I'll break my neck!
No, I'll come with you.
They won't let you. Actors get nervous when agents hang around.
Listen, once you're onthe set, you'll relax, you won't even need me.
I can't do this. I have to take someone into my confidence.
Absolutely not! No! Never! Not ahint. This can't get out.
You will direct ahit picture. Sometimes God works in strange ways.
Notes on making "The City That Never Sleeps".
First morning atmosphere is upbeat. Lots of eager anticipation.
People moving lights.
Actors and actresses already in costume and makeup.
Val Waxman is not the first one onthe set.
Actually, a few minutes late.
This won't work.
No, it's working perfect. I'll guide you.
-Am I goingto bump into anything? -No, I'll guide you.
But I must look funny.
You look perfect, I'mtelling you. Look at this.
Good morning. Would you like anything?
You want some coffee?
Yeah, su... No. No, thank you. I'm okay. I'm okay.
The actors are here if you want to blockthe scene.
Val, are you okay withthe changes inthe set?
Oh, the set. Yeah. It's beautiful!
How about the background color?
It's blue and, uh, brown and yellow. Is it alittle dark?
Who are you?
Al Hack, his agent.
Al, can I speakto you a second?
I'll be right back. Don't worry.
Not that you're not welcome...you know I love you...but this is a closed set.
He really needs me. He likes me to be with him.
I know, but aman of your stature, an agent...
...it intimidates people.
-You look great. You had any work done? -Just here.
-Who do you go to? Not that I need it. -Fred.
Oh, he's incredible. Can you get me aprice?
I think we may be alittle too light.
Would you prefer I take it one shade darker?
Well, you know, that's apossibility.
What do youthink? What would you do?
I don't know. I could make it all match the upholstery.
Yes, that's brilliant! That's what I would do.
Chief, what alarm clock do you want to go with?
That, that one.
-Which one? -That one. Yes.
I'm sorry, which?
Yes. That one. Yes. Yes.
-The wind-up or the electric? -The wind-up. I like the wind-up.
Why is it so difficult?
Excuse me. Can I see you for a second? Just stay with me.
Al, this is not working.
Don't worry. It'll be fine. But this is a closed set and I have to leave.
Listento me. Just go to Plan B.
We have no Plan B.
Plan B...we find somebody who youtrust to help you.
Tell someone the truth?
Yes! Someone you can rely on. Someone who's naturally around you...
...who won't look odd. Maybe the A.D.
What about the script girl?
We can't do that. If they get caught,...
...they'll never work inthe business again.
I have aresponsibility to Ellie and evento Hal.
You have aresponsibility to yourself!
You have agent's ethics. I can't go by you.
Don't hit me with oxymorons. We're in a crisis!
Wait aminute. What about the Chinese kid?
-The translator? -Yes, the translator.
He's abusiness student at NYU.
He doesn't want to work in film. If he's caught, it's no big deal.
-Well, he is always around me. -See?
Val, I have the actors. We're ready.
Don't worry. I'll get youto the set. Just relax.
It'll be fine.
I'm acting so crazy. Everyone will notice.
You have areputation for being crazy. It'll work in your favor.
Watch out. One step, one step. Easy.
Very good. Can I have Mr. Waxman's chair here?
The director needs his chair!
Thank you very much.
Here, sit. Your lucky chair. Isn't that wonderful?
Sit. Be relaxed. Very good.
I can't work with outside people watching.
Nobody's goingto be watching.
Do you like this one or this one?
I like that one.
This? 'Cause this one's more appropriate,
but this one's more theatrical.
You can use this one if you like, but I prefer that one. That one.
The first or the second?
I'd like to make my entrance fromthe stairs.
What? Who ordered? Who ordered? What's happening?
How should I kiss her?
You know, onthe mouth.
-What about my mouth? -No, kiss her onthe mouth.
But we originally discussed some passionate way of grabbing her.
Oh, well, use both lips.
Could I talkto you for just a second?
-Me? -Just for aminute.
-They need me. -Actually, the director...
-The director asked me to talkto you. -Mr. Waxman?
Yes. It's a chance to earn extra salary.
You seemto be a very responsible young man. Are you?
You should move left.
You got me doingtwo things at once. I don't know what you want.
You should cross left.
Me? If I crossto my left, I'll bump into him.
-You needn't demonstrate. -I'll knock him over.
Where isthe translator? He's supposedto be on set!
I have a very important message for you.
I'm here to help you. I know about your secret.
Very good. That wasterrific.
Was it very good? Was it very good?
I don't see the dramatic impact of it...
...but it was improved fromthe random chaos you were encouraging.
Oh, thank you. You didn't like the random chaos?
Can we go again just for safety? One more?
We're approaching ahallway right now, so we'll walk slowly. Nobody's here.
Practically nobody. Be careful.
I'mtryingto be casual, but it's extremely difficult.
Sorry, boss, you okay? I thought you saw me.
I'm fine. It was all my fault. I forgive you.
Sir, he's not there anymore. You're talkingto air.
Why didn't you warn me?
I thought you saw him. This is very weird for me.
-Once I did aid a deaf uncle. -You're goingtoo fast.
Okay, slowly. It's very weird.
I helped out a deaf uncle a few years ago,
but we didn't have to hide it like this.
This is great.
Do we use this one tomorrow or the big one?
Wow, these are beautiful pocket watches.
I would go withthe big one, definitely.
Val, how do you feel the first day went?
The first day was, you know, like the first day.
It's a shakedown, where you weed out the malcontents.
I'd love to speak with you for a few minutes, if you're not too busy.
Sir, you said you wanted to show me that piece of jade.
If you're busy, we can do this later.
Yes, I am. I have, uh....
That's all I couldthink of to extricate you.
You realize there's no piece of jade.
Yes, I get it. There's no jade.
So far our conspiracy has gone undetected.
Perfect. Val, I'lltake you to your shrink.
Same drilltomorrow, Chou.
I'll practice casual banter.
Very good, good.
To observe Val Waxman directing...
...one wouldthink he has no idea what he's doing.
I wonder if he is one of those cinema geniuses who thrive on chaos...
He always seems distracted.
He never looks anyone inthe eye...
...and must be juggling amillonthings in his mind.
It's easy to see why his reputation is one of an eccentric.
I notice, too, what a great interest he has inthe photography...
...as he is always conferring withthe cameramanthrough histranslator.
How were the dailies?
Sir, I'm not a film student, hence, apoor judge.
I study business and as an investment, I wouldn't...
He cannot understand what you're doing. He thinks it's very odd.
How were the performances?
I wouldn't know. But you heardthem. Or is your hearing faculty failing, too?
My hearing is fine! But are they making too many faces?
What about the scenes without dialogue?
Well, I understandthem, but I've readthe script.
But I must confess...careful, steps...
...there is a strong sense of, um, incoherence.
Incoherence? Great. That's exactly what I'm going for.
Well, how were they?
I'm happy. They were great!
Whichtake was best of the robbery scene?
-The first one. -The last one.
The first part of the last is better thanthe last part of the first...
...but the middle take's probably the most overall.
I smell magic here.
How's it going?
Okay. He confers alot with his cameramanthroughthe translator...
...whichtakestime, but I got my foot to the pedal. Pedalto the metal.
Put him on, will you?
I'll find him.
Carol, send some flowers to Haley Joel Osment with a card.
"Congratulations on your Lifetime Achievement Award."
It's Ellie. She wantsto talkto you.
I hear it's going pretty well.
Yes, as far as I can see.
Good. Listen, I want to come in next week. Maybe look at some dailies?
I wouldn't do that.
I've stayed away for the first half of the film, Val.
Nobody sees my dailies except me andthe cameraman. That's our deal.
You usedto always ask my opinion on dailies.
That was when you were a sharp New Yorker.
No one with an herbalist sees my dailies.
As filming reachesthe halfway mark...
...rumor has it Sharon Bates, the leading lady...
...has developed a crush on Val Waxman.
He seemsto resist...
...personal contact with anyone...
...but today she insisted he visit her dressing room.
Excuse me. I'll see you later. We'll discuss it.
Yes. Don't go far!
I'll be right here.
I understandthat you wantedto talk about something with me.
Can I be frank?
Oh, yes. Of course.
I'm having areal problem working with you.
Working with me? Why?
I feelthat something unspoken has, uh...
...developed between us.
Developed between us? Like what?
It might be my imagination, but the way you look at me is like...
...you're making love to me with your eyes.
I'm a very direct person.
When I have feelings about someone, I don't hold back.
You know, I thought we were going to discussthe character.
That maybe you were havingtrouble getting into the role.
Am I making you nervous?
No. I had atough day out there. A lot of tough decisions...
...so I'm alittle frazzled, maybe, but that's... I'm fine.
Come here. Why don't you sit onthe sofa with me?
-The sofa. -Just for aminute.
Oh, the sofa. The sofa. Yes, okay.
ljust really want your full attention.
The sofa's fine.
Oh, I don't need athrow pillow. I'm comfortable.
If I trust a director to direct me...
...I trust himto make love to me.
Let me just say this. I'm abig believer inthat...
...but not while I'm working, because I never mix business with pleasure.
I'm a dedicated artist, and...
...like a Trappist monk, I feelthe best way to do a good picture...
...isto abstain until shooting is over.
Uh, it's my adoration of cinema.
Cinemais ajealous mistress, and...
...l'm, you know... that's just the way I am.
But we can wait till after shooting's over, then...
What are you doing?
Me? Oh, when I feel emotionally moved in some way...
...some people smoke, I fondle walls.
I understand. I didn't mean to upset you.
Oh, I'm not upset. This happens onthe set.
If I act with a fine director like yourself...
...l'd do anything for him sexually.
Well, you shouldtake out a full-page ad inthe DGA magazine statingthat...
...because you'll never stop working.
Is it possible to openthe door for me...
...because allthe heavy breathing has steamed my glasses. Am I close?
Yes! So we'lltalk again. Thank you.
Thistime it's different.
What do you mean?
Thistime it's my father.
Johnny! Your father! You can't kill your father!
They want him dead!
But he's your father!
Get ahold of yourself! He's got it comin'!
Great! That's exactly where it should be.
No, withthe camerathere, it'sthe wrong direction.
It'll seem like she's looking at the wall, not her lover.
I know screen geography!
Chan, am I right? Should it be there?
He never understands what the hell you're doing.
Believe me, I know! Leave the camera where it is!
-He's a genius. -Yes.
His style. The way he shoots. It's so...
Was he difficult to live with?
Asthe second missus, did you consider yourself a youngtrophy wife?
I thought this wasn't a gossip piece.
I'm just curious how youtwo met.
At the Golden Globes.
I thought it was interestingthat when he won he thanked his...
Next time, warn me before I fall.
I tried, but the journalist wasthere...
Are you okay?
It's nothing. Just a fractured skull.
You want to go grab abite?
I can't. Al's coming. I have an important meeting.
But I asked youto set aside some time to discussthings.
It's not easy. I have alot of meetings andthingsto do.
How about a drink later?
I can't. Maybe after shooting. It'stough.
I'm sorry, could ljust get amoment with him alone?
Thanks. Okay, you've been avoiding me since I got in. Why?
How? I let you see the dailies.
You made no comment whatsoever.
Well, I mean, I'm not a director.
I personally had difficulty making sense out of them...
...but I assume once they're cut together, you know what you want and....
They'lljust be great. I like them.
Then why are you avoiding me?
I'm not avoiding you, for God's sakes. I'm busy.
I have alot on my mind.
Is it about the ring?
The ring? The ring?
Don't pretend you don't see it. I know how you get...
No, no. Hey, your ring is beautiful.
I love the shape of it, and it's probably very expensive, knowing Hal.
I'm not wearing it.
I knowthat. What, youthought I thought you were wearing it?
I thought it might be causing your strange behavior.
My behavior's fine! Everybody's commenting on my behavior.
Remember when we got married and didn't have time to get aring...
...and I hadto go get that thing inthe novelty shop?
I got that ringthat squirted water as apracticaljoke?
Little did I know our marriage would turn out to be God's practicaljoke.
You certainly stayed in it long enough.
Inertia accounts for / of the marriages in America.
Yeah, but the other third is love.
Let's just stickto discussing the last two weeks...
I got nothingto discuss. I'm waiting for Al. He's always late.
-Lunch! -He's here! Al's here.
He's so tense.
I kid him about being late, but...
...he's great. I love him.
-What's his problem? -He's firing me.
Firing you? Why?
He won't work with me anymore. He wants somebody else.
He thinks something's getting lost in histranslation...
...so his work comes out irrationally.
Tell him I love the dailies.
Sir, to be honest with you, they're not very lucid.
Just tell him what I tell you to tell him!
He wants me off the set or he won't work.
With all due respect to Mr. Chan...
...we're onthe clock. It costs $ a day to shoot.
Explainthat to him, nicely.
I have a great idea.
Why don't we fire the cameraman but keep the translator?
Hold on a second, Val. Ed's right andthat's how it's gonnabe.
I can't fire the translator!
-Why not? -Because I can't!
-Ching. -lt's Chou.
Who's goingto replace you?
No one knows who the newtranslator will be or whenthey'll find one.
What about the caterer?
He has no reasonto always be onthe set.
And you wanted someone who wouldn't be ruined whenthey're caught.
lf! I said if!
There is no one. I was quite perfect for the assignment.
Ellie is goingto be aroundtillthe end of...
And she does suspect something. I...
ljust need you for aprivate minute.
Al, if this is about being onthe set...
...even if Galaxie made an exception...
...these actors are not going to allow it.
Come here. Sit down.
-Why? -I need your help.
Okay. What can I do for you?
This isthe end of the line for Val if he doesn't have ahit.
He will. He could do this material with his eyes closed.
Right. But if for any reason he strikes out here...
...his last hopes for a career are over!
Al, let me put your mind at ease.
While the dailies are not what I expected...
...l'm sure he has a vision. Don't worry about it.
Look, if aproblem came up...
...alittle problem where he needed alittle behind-the-scenes support...
...for the last few weeks, you'd, you'd....
I'm startingto get that Val Waxman chill.
What's going on?
Can I level with you?
No, I mean, really level. Pull no punches.
What is it, Al?
It's nothingthat can't be dealt with. He's just...he's blind.
You want to be serious? Because we're already behind schedule.
The cameramanthrew his little fit andthings are going crazy....
He's blind. He can't see at all.
But don't panic. It's not atumor, or...
...a disease of the optic nerve. It's not permanent. It's...it's....
What is it?
It's apsychological disorder. It's psychosomatic. That happens.
This is not happening. It's not happening.
He's onthe set now faking it,...
but someone hasto help him get throughthe rest of the picture.
The rest of the picture? What... How long hasthis been going on?
Since day one.
The Chinese translator...
...was his secret agent till now, but now he's gone.
We need someone who can stay close to him and not look suspicious.
Are youtelling me he has directed everything up to this point blind?!
No one knows. He didn't want his career destroyed...
...by another disaster story about his work problems. No one knows...
...andthat's because of the translator and me.
No one must find out. I'm serious, Al.
Nobody. Not anybody onthe crew...
...not the drivers, the actors, not anyone from Galaxie.
I knew you'd understand.
May the day June th rot in hell for all eternity.
-lsthat the day you married Val? -lt'sthe day he was born!
Now don't get upset, please.
No wonder he's been avoiding me and acting so strange.
He didn't want anybody to know.
Psychosomatically blind! That hypochondriacal neurotic.
And I say that with all due respect!
You campaigned for himto get this job.
No one must know.
Yes, and what you have to do...
...is be his eyes for these last couple of weeks.
You've mellowed. No more impossible neurotic symptoms!
I should have had my head examined!
I thought I had abraintumor! Be sympathetic!
You couldn't get atumor if youtried. You're not mature enough.
What can I do? If the picture fails, I go downthe drain!
-lf Hal finds out... -He won't. It'sthe home stretch.
What is making you blind? When will it stop?
Did youtalkto your analyst? What did he say?
He doesn't have a clue. He just doesn't know.
That's just great. What are you goingto do?
Edit it blind, too? Put inthe music blind?
Go to the premier blind? At least you won't be able to readthe reviews.
What if it doesn't leave me? What if I stay blind?
I don't know. I'll be in California at my swimming pool.
You'll probably have to learn Braille, get a dog, workthe subway.
-Aren't you goingto put me to bed? -Put youto bed?
I can't do it by myself! Al always puts me to bed!
Oh, God. Val, isthis project headed for disaster?
Relax. I can handle it.
Beethoven did his symphonies while he was deaf.
Are you comparing yourself to Beethoven?
Can we not get in amusical discussion?
How could you do this and not think about anybody else?
I mean, this is my movie, you know?
Everybody's givingtheir life's blood.
Give me abreak. Everyone's getting paidtop dollar.
You're marrying abillionaire. Only I go inthe toilet if things fail.
I don't think Hal's going to see it that way.
Hal won't know, unless youtell him during pillowtalk.
Youtwo probably don't have pillowtalk.
He probably has sex with you while he's onthe phone.
You're fine. I'll see youtomorrow.
Don't go! You have to put me to bed. Al alwaystucks me in.
He's your agent. There's no limit to what they do.
Ellie, come on.
You usedto be very maternal toward me.
You were infantile. You needed it.
Except in bed. Then you were ahot number.
I was a small-town girl and you were onthe cutting edge of everything.
How'd I go fromthe cutting edge to the buttering edge?
How'd I end up inthis mess?
This is not the first time we've been introuble.
We've been in some pretty sticky situations.
-Not like this. -Yes, because I can recallthem.
You know, it wasn't all.... We've had our share of...
...situations, no question about it.
Like losing our car in a crap game?
Absolutely. That was a disaster.
I told youthen...never trust amale with a fixed nose...
...but you didn't listen. It was humiliating for us.
Do you remember...
...staying up all night in Paris listeningto jazz and ending up in jail?
To this day, I can't figure out how you got us in jail.
Me? As I recall, it was your shoplifting.
Because you wanted chocolate croissants and I left my wallet at the hotel.
You were so demanding allthe time.
No, it was your command of the language. Never use the familiar with apoliceman.
It's funny, because my unfulfilled life dream...
...wasthat you and I would live in Paristogether.
I was willing. You were the one who always lost your nerve.
It's funny...it seems like so long ago now.
It's amazing howthings change, isn't it?
Yep, they do. Andthose days are over.
I'll see youtomorrow.
Your agent will come inthe morning to take youto the bathroom.
The movie is in its last two weeks.
Val Waxman's ex-wife, who was very hands off when shooting began...
...is now very much involved.
I notice that Val relies alot on her.
They are in constant conference.
They lunchtogether every day and, I suppose, discussthe work.
She isthe only one besides the cameraman and newtranslator...
...who Val allowsto see the dailies.
-How were they? -Really great. Really great.
Everything's going fine. The dailies are really great...
...and we're pretty much on schedule.
I had my doubts, but you proved me wrong. Maybe he is anew man.
Great. Really. Right.
I'm coming in for the last few days. I have business.
There'sthe wrap party and I'm being honored at a dinner...
...and Val and I should have aprivate talk about...
...post-production and editing.
Have our picture takento dispel the rumors we didn't get along.
Yeah, that's right. All right.
Take care. Can't wait to see you.
Quick union question...can ahyphenate marry abelow-the-line person?
That's for legal.
I have to tell you about my nightmare.
I dreamt last night that...
...Hal found out everything.
...just knewthat I was...
...blind andthat I had been blind fromthe beginning...
...andthat I was directing the picture blind with...
...the translator's help and with your help.
And inthe dream, I spoke to my shrink...
...and asked him how long it would last, and he said indefinitely.
And, and Hal got furious with me, and...
...furious with you for helping me.
It was just terrible.
I was, I was just screaming, and, and....
You know, it...
I haven't really had a good night's sleep...
...I don't know how long. The anxiety isterrible.
Thanks for getting me back. Al will be here soon.
Will you be okay?
I'm fine. We had some close callstoday.
I have to tell you, I'm very worried about Hal finding out.
-Well, I told you my nightmare. -No, you didn't.
I told you before. Remember?
You didn't. What did you dream?
I told you. I went into great detail.
You didn't tell me athing.
Well, it smelled like you.
It smelled like me. What are youtalking about?
I told you my night... I told you. Didn't I?
No. You didn't. Did you?
I don't know. Did I?
No. What are youtalking about?
Before, when I was saying my nightmare in detail.
Oh, God! Oh, God, Val!
That journalist, Andrea Ford... we wear the same perfume.
You didn't...? Oh, God.
Are you saying I told her?
-Did you? -Did I?
Did I tell her?
If youtold her, that's it. We are so... That's it.
Oh, my God.
Val? It's...it's Lori.
Yes, I know it's Lori.
You're home unexpectedly. You're a week early.
I got bored. But I'm almost ready to shoot my part!
I'm so excited!
Yes, but this is so completely unexpected.
I wastoo busy working out to call. God, they drive you!
But look at me. Don't I look great?
Look! It's really hard.
You can hit it. Val, help me with my bags.
Doesn't it look good?
No! Val, don't let your producer lug my bags for me.
No, it's fine. I forgot she existed. My God.
You can't stay here, Lori!
No! You can't stay. Because...
...Ellie and I have gotten backtogether.
Yes. We, we have.
We thought about it and felt that we had made amistake and...
I can't lie to her, Ellie. You know, it's not fair.
She can't stay. Three's a crowd.
The heart is very unpredictable.
It's not like the liver or spleen.
Am I still inthe movie?
You are. Definitely. Definitely.
Okay. It's okay.
I'm fine with personal rejection, really. Thank God I kept that other apartment.
Try to understand.
No, no. It's fine. I totally understand. I'm still inthe movie, right?
-Yeah. Sure. -You're inthe movie!
Here, help me withthis. Take it.
Val, come on! My incense burner's inthere. Be careful.
We were in my apartment, inthe bedroomtogether...
...reminiscing. It was great.
And I wanted so muchto kiss her, but I can't see!
Why do youthink you could have kissed her? She's engaged.
This blindness, I got to get finished with it.
This is crazy, not just for my work, but...
...you know, I want to lead anormal life.
Tell me about the movie.
There's nothingto tell! It's a...
...remake of a s movie about...
...a father and son who don't get along.
The kid grows up to be a gangster and some people hire himto kill his father.
You have a son, don't you?
Yeah, from aprior marriage.
It's very interesting... how you never bring him up.
We don't speak.
Because he's got, you know, orange hair...
...with nose rings and nipple rings and lip rings and...
...he, you know, plays drums loud and....
Isthat any reason...?
No, but he gave a concert and ate alive rat at it...
He hastattoos all over his body.
Once we were discussing music... he threatenedto push me downthe stairs.
It worked. He pushed me down a flight of stairs.
How were you as a father to him?
I was fine. I was very nice to him. I loved him.
I took himto sporting events andto the ballet and opera.
I encouraged his friends and, you know...
...let him play music and stood behind him and...
And we had a discussion and he shoved me down a flight of stairs.
Where's his mother?
She's marriedto amillionaire in Brazil.
She's a very nice lady.
So when you live withthe plot of this movie every day...
...and it parallelsthe situation with your son, how do you feel?
Well, I feel angry, because....
I'm angry, you know.
I alwaysthought when he got older, we would be friendly...
...and he would have a family, and I'd be part of it, and....
You must miss him.
We never speak.
You've blinded yourself to the situation.
Listen, can we not digress?
I'm here to discuss my psychological loss of vision.
Meanwhile, Hal Yeager's coming in a week and I don't want himto catch me.
No, he'll be staying at this suite, as usual.
He'll have you up for one of his man-to-mantalks,...
...so you'll be alone with him...
...for half an hour. Straight ahead.
What if it's longer?
No, it never is. His concentration... Sorry. My bad.
His concentration's only good for ahalf an hour. He's abusy guy.
I'll never get downthe hall.
No, Al will get youto the front door.
I'll meet you at the door and get you throughthe hallto the suite.
We should just start.
You go straight ahead... one, two, three, four.
Hal's at the first chair to your right.
-I'm lost. Where should I be? -You can't be lost yet.
If Hal'sthere, you should come forwardtwo more paces...
...to the right of the first chair.
The desk isto your left... that's right...four paces.
Four pacesto the...desk?
But you should start fromthe first chair...
I can't findthe first chair!
-Where am I now? -No, wait. That'sthe desk.
The desk? Where should I be?
Three pacesto the left of the first chair, where Hal is...
...so the second sofa over here would be right.
I'm getting confused. Two paces left +of the first chair...
...to the right of the sofa, or of the desk?
To the left...right... of the first chair.
-So there's a chair onthis side. -Yes, the second chair.
-There's a chair here someplace. -Yes. One, two, three.
Did I get the chair?
If I'm facingthe first chair, is it pacesto the left of the second sofa...
...or pacesto.... Two pacesto the desk...
If they give you years...
...l'll be waiting.
If they give youtwo consecutive life sentences...
...l'll be waiting.
-Cut! -What did youthink?
I knew you could do it. I think you were great.
You like what I did with my cigarette?
That was something. That was really something. That's just me, but...
Yeah, I thought so, too. The cigarette was great.
Good! I rehearsed it all last night.
-That's great. -lt shows.
It's hardto believe youtwo are backtogether again.
You know what? We sort of like to keep that quiet.
Oh, don't be silly.
She knows our secret. What's withthe...
We let the world know. We, we, we...
We should do this again, because it'll be a while before I get a chance to...
Gosh, it's like two dogs in heat.
-We have to go to that meeting. -No, no!
I was just getting started, actually.
That was great!
Two paces past the clock isthe... isthe first sofa.
No, wait. Two paces... Three paces isthe first...
The bureau is past the clock.
Two paces past the first clock is...
Wait. Four steps. You're going to do it. Don't worry.
Let's go. I got him.
I'll wait inthe lobby.
Would you excuse us? I want to talk with Val man-to-man.
Sure. I'll go make a few phone calls. I'll see you boys later.
So, Ellie saysthings are going very smoothly.
I said, I hear things are going smoothly.
Yes, I.... One. Two.
Are things going smoothly?
Yes! Yes! Things are fine.
Good, good. Sit down.
No, not there. Over here.
-Where? -Here. Onthe sofa.
The sofais, isto, to, to the....
Jesus. Are you okay?
-You all right? -I stumbled. I came up short.
Today was arough day filming.
I'lltell you what. Let me get you a drink. You'll be fine.
I have some terrific Irish whiskey. It was a gift.
I don't want anythingto drink.
No, this will help you...
...relax after arough day. I insist.
-I'll be okay. -Here you go.
Jesus. You really are overworked. My goodness!
...you're happy withthe dailies?
What can I say? Everything I've seen so far has been great.
Great. And you definitely don't want me to see them?
I get so embarrassed when...
ljust thought maybe you'd like an outside opinion.
Somebody with some distance can be very objective.
Ellie sawthe dailies and she, I think she likedthem.
Yes, I understand. You know, I see...
...a great deal of rough cuts....
We're not anywhere near arough cut.
-I don't cut picture as I go along. -Val?
Whenthe picture's over, I cut it together.
You seem distracted.
Distracted? No. I did have a difficult day today, but...
Okay, you're right. A deal's a deal.
I promised I wouldn't peek. I know it makes you nervous.
Ellie made it clear how you like to work.
People think we studio heads have no sensitivity...
...but we want to make a good picture every bit as much as you do.
It's just we knowthe realities of the marketplace.
Will you stop moving your head? It's very distracting.
I'm just feeling alittle.... I'm okay.
As long as you're satisfied.
I am. And I know you will be.
Good. Listen, come look at what we've done for the poster.
-The poster? -Yeah. Come here.
Come here? Me?
Yes, well...l'm coming.
Desk? The desk?
Where are you...? Come here. You are overworked.
-I'm nervous. -I'm impressed.
You've been working hard.
What are you doing? Have you developed anervous disorder?
Yes, I have alittle arthritis that sometimes kicks in.
So, do you like them?
-Like what? -The posters.
Yes, they're great.
-Which one? -They're all great.
My favorite, number two.
This is just great. It's a strong graphic and...
I knew you'd love them.
If I did see them, I'd never tell.
-See what? -The dailies.
No, see the problem is, I get embarrassed when...
Okay. Okay. You're right. A deal's a deal.
You know, soon we'll wrap the picture...
...and cut it together, then...
Am I barred fromthat, too?
No, ljust want to present the best possible thing I canto you.
This is a $ -million movie. I'm not usedto...
...being kept inthe background.
Between you and me, this is my valentine to Ellie.
A lot of people didn't think you and I could worktogether.
Personality clashes andthe personal history. But if two people are mature...
I'll let myself out. It's okay. Don't worry.
Yeah, isthe yacht available?
I want to do the whole honeymoon onthe Amalfi coast,...
...but it hasto be that yacht.
Because only that yacht is romantic enough for my honeymoon.
All right. Okay, good.
-Yes! -Come on. I'll show you out.
-I know you've had arough day. -The front door.
There's more, Mr. Yeager...
...but those few hours are a good selection.
Okay. Wally, thanks. And listen, this is our little secret, okay?
Ladies and gentlemen, the National...
...Society of Video Sales...
...is proudto honor the movie industry's man of the year...
...the incomparable Hal Yeager.
Time was we made more money at the box office than video sales.
Nowthe big push we give a film'stheatrical release...
...is really just aprelude to making it alarge hit...
...in your over-the-counter sales.
Boy, they loved you. I thought they would...
...lift you up ontheir shoulders and carry you aroundthe room.
ljust toldthe truth.
-You're drunk. -A little.
-A little? -Okay, alot.
It's not easy sittingthrough hours of adulation.
Frankly, I don't know how you do it.
I can't rob them of the opportunity of demonstratingtheir gratitude.
No wonder we both have to drink so much at these affairs.
If I wasn't abit drunk, I wouldn't bringthis up.
Bring what up?
-The dailies. -What dailies?
Val's. "The City That Never Sleeps".
Well, I'm hopeful. You know?
You can't judge a film by its dailies.
They're just bits and pieces out of sequence.
You have to wait till it's cut.
Well, I was very disappointed.
-You sawthem? -That's just between us.
-How? -I was disappointed.
I can't believe you. You... I can't... He trusted you.
Honey, I didn't get to run a studio by kowtowingto every director...
...who thinks he's Orson Welles.
But you gave him your word that you wouldn't do that.
Honey, unless he has some vision of howto cut thisthing...
...we're on very shaky ground.
No. I disagree. I disagree.
I thinkthe dailies are...
Are what? Nothing makes sense!
The angles, performances, coverage. There is no coverage!
I trust his instincts.
This was supposedto be anice, commercial picture.
And you weren't to look at it until he was ready to show it to you.
I gave into those demands to please you.
This guy could have come in and begged for the job
and he wouldn't have gotten it.
The point of this isthat you said one thingto his face...
...then did something else behind his back.
You make it sound sinister.
I'm responsible for a very huge chunk of money.
I have a studio to run.
Yes, I know, I know, okay?
If you're disappointed, it's me you should be disappointed in.
What doesthat mean?
Because, well, I saw some of the footage. You know.
And I was alittle baffled, okay?
But you know what?
Look, maybe I should have told you. I don't know.
But half of it was inthe can anyway, and...
Look, he's a genuine talent, okay?
Who saysthat we're right? The guy's a genius.
Well, let's just hope he has a vision of howto cut it together,...
...for all our sakes.
He never hasto know I sawthe dailies. I'm not tampering.
And you should have warned me!
I mean, I don't ever want to wonder about your loyalties.
Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm drunk.
Let's just...call it anight.
Val, checkthe gate?
Thank you, everyone. See youtonight at the wrap party.
You all did atremendous job. Please use taxis or designated drivers.
I know you're happy to be leaving New York.
What isthe thing you miss most about L.A.?
Miss most about L.A.?
I miss my support group. They're really helping emotionally.
I'm amember of a support group of film executives...
...who can't affordtheir own G- s.
-Have you seen Val? -He's not here.
Great. A director who misses his own wrap party.
I called him at home. He's not there. I'm worried.
Hi! Hi, Ellie! Over here! Oh, you have to meet them.
Excuse me. Excuse me. Hi. This is Sandor.
Uh, he didn't come.
Oh, my goodness. Everybody's so sophisticated. I love it.
Your father's here.
-You're joking. -Tony?
-Tony? -Don't bump into anything.
I'll wait outside.
-What's wrong with you? Are you blind? -Yeah.
-Psychosomatic. -How did you know?
You never get any realthings.
I'lltake youto the couch.
Okay, turn around.
There you go.
-Don't ask me why I came. -I didn't.
Aren't you curious after the last couple of years?
Are you going to officially disown me?
I came for the exact opposite reason. I want to make friends.
I was never mad at you.
What do you mean? You pushed me down a flight of stairs.
I was high. Inthose years I did drugs. I did acid and peyote.
Where did you learnto do drugs?
From you. Youtooktranquilizers and mood elevators.
There's a difference between that and breaking into a drugstore...
...so you can buy hashish.
That's over. That was stupid.
What happenedto us? How did we grow so far apart?
You know, we used to do thingstogether.
I played with you. I took you fishing.
I didn't want to go fishing.
I didn't take you against your will. Then you wantedto go fishing.
You wantedto learnthe violin. I got you a violin.
That led me to the drums.
How did violin go to the drums? That I've never understood.
An electronic band where you rip off your shirt...
...and eat alive rat is not music.
We sold out that concert.
Don't call it a concert. Heifetz at Carnegie Hall is a concert.
If there's abrownout, Heifetz will still be on key, but your guitarist won't be.
You come here to knock me?
I came to...
...hold out an olive branch.
Olive branch? What isthis, the Israeli parliament? I'm your son.
I know you're my son. That's what I'm saying.
I want usto get backtogether again.
To, you know, to go fishing.
I hate fishing.
I don't mean literally go fishing in water! l, I....
I'm sayingthat I love you, despite the orange hair...
...and nose rings and nipple rings andthe tattoos.
No wonder I went blind!
Can I help it if I took a quantum leap from your values?
What's wrong with my values? I don't understand.
I was nice to your mother.
I didn't steal anything. I never consumed any rodents.
How is your mother, incidentally?
Great. They're in Rio. She has no trouble accepting me.
Of course she doesn't. You're here and she movedto the equator.
I want to be friends with you.
I respect what you do. You have to respect my goals.
I did some dopey things. I apologize. Let's not make abig deal.
We don't have to go fishing, but we have alot in common.
We're bothtryingto do something original. You with film...
...and me with alive rat.
Tony, Tony, Tony.
By the way, I changed my name. It's not Tony anymore.
It's not? What is it?
Oh, that's nice.
It's much better than Tony Waxman.
I love you, Scumbag.
Events moved pretty rapidly once the movie wrapped.
Ellie stayed in New York and helped Val fake his way throughthe editing.
They spent alot of time together.
Andthen, suddenly, one day....
I can see!
I can see!
I can see!
I can see! I can see!
Everything looks so beautiful! The city looks...
...incredible! I can...
-I can see! -Are you sure?
You look so beautiful. You look so great.
You look so beautiful.
I swear. You're like a different person.
You mean I was never pretty?
You were always pretty! But now you're beautiful.
I can see! I...l... I can't believe this!
I can see! You look so beautiful. I'm overwhelmed.
That's how it is when you go blind for a while.
Oh, Val! Oh, my God!
Call Dr. Kevorkian.
This isthe worst...
This looks like the work of ablind man.
Come on. You're scaring me.
Hal meansto previewthis in weeks to get some audience reaction.
The audience will rush into the projection booth...
...grab the print and hurl it into the sea.
Here are the rest of the cards the audience filled out.
They're practically unanimous.
"An incoherent, stupid waste of celluloid."
"Would you recommend this filmto a friend?"
"Only if I was friendly with Hitler."
They're alljust terrible.
"How would you improve this movie?" "Arson."
That'sthe audience, not the critics.
The reviews will be good, thenthe public will go.
"What would you callthe genre?" "Early American garbage."
I'm crushed over the reception the movie got.
Some of the reviews were particularly scathing.
-I hope Val's okay. -That's not what I want to talk about.
I got an advance copy of the story Andrea Ford wrote.
She hasn't turned it in.
She wanted comments from me. I triedto talk her out of it.
Andrea Ford is a cheap tabloid gossipmonger.
I thought it was abad ideahaving her hang aroundthe set...
She said Val Waxman directed the picture blind.
Throughout shooting he had psychosomatic blindness. Was I wrongto deny that?
He shot the whole picture without ever seeing it?
Otherwise, you'd have gotten the movie you wanted.
She wrote that you knew and helped him hide it.
Only the last few weeks.
I found out pretty much after the boat had sailed.
And you didn't tell me.
I knew you'd be apoplectic and Val couldn't affordto lose another job.
Under those circumstances, I....
You cared more about him than you did about Galaxie.
I truly believed he could pull it off.
The two of you were seen kissing passionately onthe set.
We were faking. We told his roommate we'd gotten backtogether...
...so she wouldn't move back in and find out he was blind.
Did you fall back in love with your ex-husband?
You cantell me the truth because it really doesn't much matter now.
I think I never stopped loving him.
Whenthis story hits, he'll never be employable again.
You don't needthe story.
I thinkthe reviewstook care of that.
Don't spend seconds on what those critics said.
They're the lowest level of the culture.
Thistime they're right. The movie is incoherent.
The performances are all over the place, the camerawork is unfocused.
Worse has been said about my work. ljust eat another rat.
Jesus. I hope Ellie is okay.
I always liked Ellie.
Isn't she marryingthat Neanderthal, Yeager?
Talk about blindness.
She was right under my nose for so long and I didn't appreciate her.
Blindness as ametaphor. That's great.
Your movie. The French saw your movie in Paris.
They say it'sthe greatest American film in years!
You're being hailed as atrue artist. A great genius!
And France setsthe tone for the rest of Europe.
I already have offers for youto make amovie in Paris. A love story!
Paris, France! Where they talk French. It's like New York.
This isthe best news. It's unbelievable.
Here I'm abum, but there...
Thank Godthe French exist.
This is my life's dream... we're goingto live in Paris.
I can't tell you howthrilled I am.
Are you sure? It's abig step.
I'm absol... You know, you look so beautiful.
Every husband should go blind for alittle while.
You didn't forget the Dramamine, did you?