Hot Shots Part Deux Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Hot Shots Part Deux script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Charlie Sheen.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Hot Shots Part Deux. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Hot Shots Part Deux Script



Arsenio Hall!



Team Two take the prison.

We get the villa.



Little Sister, this is Big Brother,

we are in the ball park.



Big Brother, Little Sister.

We're at the prison.



Little Sister, this is Big Brother.

Are you in position?



Big Brother, Little Sister,

affirmative. Attack in   .



Starting now.






...five, four, three, two--



It's an ambush!






Big Brother!

Harbinger, where are you?



Surrender, Yankee infidels!

You have no chance.



Off to prison, American Satans.



Good evening. Americans were shocked today

by the announcement of the failure...



...of yet another mission to

rescue our hostages from the Middle East.



Informed sources reveal that the

rescue team itself has been captured...



...and added to those

already being held.



Preliminary reports also indicate that

an attempt on the life...



...of a terrorist dictator

was thwarted at the same time.



With the president election just    days away, 

this could be a setback for the White House.



Presidential challenger

Senator Gray Edwards, campaigning in _______



...commented on the failed mission.



This is no time for partisan politics.



Bringing our people home

should be the nation's number one priority.



Despite this current crisis, the president

put on his best political face...



...continuing on

his campaign schedule.



Benson 's    point lead

in the poll six months ago...



...has plummeted since

the hostage crisis began.



The CNN/Victoria Secret

catalog poll...


            has the president

and Edwards running neck and neck.



This afternoon, Benson made a brief stop

in Fergus Falls, Virginia...



...for the groundbreaking

of his presidential library.



The five living

former chief executives...



...Presidents Bush, Reagan,

Carter, Ford and Nixon...



...were on hand for

this groundbreaking ceremony.



White House correspondent Jeri Kelter

reports on this historic moment.



The library is to be built the ____

Fergus Falls Civic Center.



President Benson made no statements 

_______ one about his bussiness.



Publicly, it seemed he was unaware of

the political blow he had been dealt.



Privately, aides marveled at his spirit

as he performed his usual morning routine...


            milking the White House goats...



...and finishing the second helping

of grapefruit and creamed corn.



Tonight, the president and his top

advisers will be burning the midnight oil.






My God man, what does it mean?



We must tighten security, sir.

Find out who's behind it.



No, no, no. The word “sabotage.”

What does it mean?



It mean someone's trying to subverting 

our mission, sir.



One of our people can be

working for the enemy.



Come in!



Mr. President.



Oh, Jesus! Don't you ever, ever sneak up

on me like that again.



What is it, Bob?



If Edwards hears of this,

he'll use it against you in the campaign.



-Will try to prove that you're incompetent.

-I can prove that as well as he can.



Mr. President, the CIA can't

afford another failure.



We want to send Colonel Walters

to get our people out.



And to ensure success,

we need Topper Harley.



We think we've located him in the Far East.



Topper Harley.



We've served together before, sir.

There's no one better.




-Not me, sir.



-Young lady?

-No, thank you.



No, no, I was just

offering him a young lady.



Oh, yeah, Topper Harley.



Right, good. I love the boy.

Kid's got guts.



There isn't a fighting man

on this planet that can...




Listening at the door, huh?



Well, Walters, looks like

we've got our saboteur.



That's your wife, sir.



Yeah, so it is.



Lavinia. You're looking

as lovely as the day we met.



Find out what she knows.



As for you, get me Topper Harley.



Gummi Bears, Gummi Bears!

Sprinkles, sprinkles!



Gummi Bears, Gummi Bears!

Sprinkles, sprinkles....



You fight!



Aisle   mezzanine, to your left.



Get your program right here.




One pig snout sandwich.



Both fighters starting to show sick

signs of fatigue.



They aren't moving around

the ring as much. Walking around.



Hey, this is where

your conditioning pays off.



You win!



Topper, Topper, Topper, Topper...



Topper Harley!






I don't believe it.







-Good to see you again.

-Yeah, you too.



You want to tell me about it?



Well, they let me live here.



I help out fixing things.



It's peaceful. Quiet.



No one is allowed to talk.



And that dim sum fighting

in the warehouse yesterday?



I just do that for the extra money.



And to satisfy my male cravings

to kill and win.



Colonel, who are they?



She's CIA.



The other man's an extra.



What does she do?



Heads up covert operations on the Middle East.



Reports directly to President Benson.



Colonel, these men have taken

a supreme vow of celibacy.



Like their fathers and the fathers before them.



They haven't seen a woman in decades.



Miss Huddleston!



This is Michelle Huddleston.



Topper Harley.






-You're not easy to find.

-Why are you keeping track?



It's like the colonel says:



Good men are hard to find.



I don't know how much you know

about ______ the last war but...



...several of our men

were missing in action.



Since then on two occasions we sent in

squads to rescue those men.



Both missions failed.



Now we have to go and get the men who went to

get the men who went to get the men.



-My job is to make sure we don't fail again.

-What's this got to do with me?



I'm going this time.



-We want you to go with him, Topper.

-Why me, ma'am?



Because you're the best

of what's left.



My war is over.



This will cost you a few extra dollars now.



But you'll make that back

and more on your heating bill winter.



Later we'll be cocking the ashram

if you want to stop by.



Thanks, Bob.



This mission's important Topper.

We've got to take care of our people.



Come with me.



When are you gonna

put Ramada behind you?



-What are you talking about?

-You say your war is over.



Maybe the one out there is,

but not the one inside you.



You running away from the pain,

but it won't solve anything.



Because wherever you go,

you take the pain with you.



You've come an awful long way to burn me lecture, 

haven't you colonel?



I know you were hurt

when that woman left.



But you're just using that to hide

from who you really are.



-That was a long time ago.

-(Thank you. Next!)



I don't want it.



Nice butt.



Topper, let me tell you

a little story.



It seems there were three bears.



And one morning when their porridge was

too hot, they went for a walk.



And a little blond girl came

skipping through the woods...



...she ate their porridge

and she sat in their chairs...



...she slept in their beds.



And when those bears returned

and discovered that mess....



-Do you know what happened then Topper?




That little blond girl get scared.



Ran away.



So you're saying is that little blond girl is me.



If it is 'bout me coloring my hair...



Topper, they didn't make you this

fighting machine.



They just cooked up the porridge

and went for a walk.



And you'll never stop running

until you face your three bears.









I'm sorry.



It got to end for me sometime.



If you should change your mind...


           's my     number.



It's $ .   a minute.

I'll waive the charges.



(your three bears...)



(Ramada, Ramada, Ramada...)



Don Corleone. 



Hey, what's wrong, kid?



I love you so much.



But it's such a crazy world.

I just don't want anything to happen to us.



Don't worry.



Couple of days,

we'll be on the train to Hawaii.



We'll find a minister to marry us,

and we'll never be apart again.



But if something should keep us apart?



If one of us can't make it

to Blenheim Train Station?



Like, for instance...



...if something came up unexpectedly.



Not that I think it would.

Or it already has.



Wherever I'll be,

I want you to know that...



Kiss me.



Kiss me like you've

never kissed me before.



You will denounce the criminal acts

against our people by your president.



Sign here.

Initial here, here, and here.






Sign the document.



I see you're no stranger to pain.



I've been married.







Like the previous six, this victim

was found folded neatly in half...


            place inside the glove compartment

of a sanitation truck.



Police are baffled.



This just in:



Presidential military adviser

Colonel Denton Walters...



...has been captured during an

aborted attempt to free our hostages.



This tape was delivered

to us just moments ago.



They are treating me good here.



The food is tasty and nourishing.



The peaceful leader

of this great country...



...has asked me to appeal

to you, President Benson...


            stop your vicious, imperialistic

tactics around the world.



Ladies and gentlemen,

please rise and give a warm welcome...


            His Excellency,

the Prime Minister of Japan...



...Mishahuru Soto and Mrs. Soto.



The president of the United States,

Thomas Benson.



Mr. President, this is Prime Minister

Mishahuru Soto and Mrs. Soto.



President Benson,

where is your first lady?



My first lady? Hell I don't know. I've had lots of women.

Lost my flower to tender age of   .



I can't keep track of all.



Let's get this over with.

Not feeling so well today.



My intestines were removed during

action in the North Atlantic.



Took a torpedo in the low abdomen.

And they replaced every foot of my bowels with hemp.



-Clogs easily.

-I hope you feel better.



Well, my lips to yours.



(The junior senator

from Minnesota, Gray Edwards.)



President Benson,

Prime Minister Soto...



...ladies and gentlemen.



Tonight we put election politics

aside as I join you...


            my duties as majority whip and chairman

of the Foreign Affairs Committee...


            welcoming the

Japanese prime minister...



...and his lovely wife

to these United States.



Our two great nations have begun...



...what we hope will be a long

and successful dialogue.



-(Not only economicaly...)

-I don't remember eating that.



I feel better now, thank you.

It's that raw fish odour.



It makes...



Oh, God.



Look at that! Those my teeth?



(Only to continue

in the highest spirit...)






And so I would like

to propose a toast.



-Oh, thank you, Yoko.

-I'll take that, sir.



To world peace.



To a clean environment.



To harmony with our planet

and world prosperity.



Thank you.



Looking for a place

to sit, lieutenant?



No, I need to speak to the president.

Can you arrange that?



-You'd be amazed what I can do.

-It's my fault they got Walters.



I want to go in.



You showed up just in time.

We leave in the morning.



You should know I'm taking personal charge of this 

mission. Hope you dont't mind working under a woman?



(And now, the president of

the United States, Thomas Benson.)



Prime Minister Tojo,

Senator Edwards...


            fellow Americans

and our millions of illegal aliens.



It seems like only yesterday

I was strafing so many of your homes.



Here I am today, begging you

not to make such good cars.



Excuse me. Just a second.

I need a glass of water.



Damn tongue's gone dry.

It's not mine, you know.



I lost mine in Laos.

Little commie lopped it right off.



[It's] probably a doorstop somewhere _____.

Got this one from a basset hound.



Husband get the car.



President Benson.



No, you're not.



I've seen him on the television.

He's older and about my height.



Sir, this is Topper Harley.



Topper. Yes, of course.

Son I never had.



Well, no damn wonder

I didn't recognise you then.



Word of advice:

Don't go around calling yourself the president.



I wouldn't do that, I don't think you should 

neither. It doesn't hold water.



For that matter, neither do I. Let's

get away from these power cables.



-Sir, I'd like to join the next mission.

-God bless you boy.



We will keep this one's on the QT.



We callling it: “Secret Mission to go in and

get Walters and Our Boys Back.”



And son, when you come back, I'm gonna throw you 

wonderful guys, a party that like you'd never seen.



And there should be plenty to eat.



I doubt that more than half

of you will return.



Thank you.



Got a light, lieutenant?



I quit smoking.



Besides, I don't think

it's allowed here.



What are they gonna do,

arrest me for smoking?



-Now I know what to get you for Christmas.

-Why don't you make a Thighmaster? I've broken my last three.






Let's go to my apartment

and discuss our mission.



I'm putty in your hands.



In my hands, nothing turns to putty.



(In an emotional address

at the state capitol...)



(...Nebraska Governor, Paul Burmaster...)



( made a public apology

for his state being so flat.)



Where are you?



l don't know.



What's wrong?



My arm's asleep.



No, something else.



My leg too.



No, please, you can tell me.









I have to wee-wee.



Look, I told myself last night

was just going to be last night.



I guess I just never counted on

finding a guy so deep, so sensitive.



I've fallen for you, Topper.



I've fallen for you big time.



There's someone else, isn't there?



No idea what you mean.



Women sense these things, Topper.



I said there's no one.



I'm fine.



I know about Ramada, Topper.

I read your dossier.



She must be quite a woman.



And what if she was?






(Last call for Train     for Glendale,

San Francisco and Honolulu.)



Board! Board!



I told you. Warned you twice.






-Topper Harley.

-Right here.



I cannot go with you

or ever see you again.



Just believe that I love you.



You must be brave, my darling.



This card is printed

on recycled paper.



Sergeant pick that up.

Someone could trip over it.



Which one of you

is Michelle Huddleston?



She is.



I'm glad you're here. We just known

the hostages are being moved.



I'm Commander Armin Harbinger.

I'm running the show.



I'm sorry, commander.

Presidential orders.



_____ hardly, I'm in charge now.



-Any questions?

-No, ma'am.



Harley, I've been there.



I've seen the enemy. If you're

not ready, you won't make it.



I've fired a couple of guns.



I'll assemble the men,

with your permission.



Gentlemen, Ms. Huddleston, CIA,

and Lieutenant Topper Harley.



We're working for them.



Williams, com sync pac ram set

MOS   -H tact op spec patty-wack.




-Give a dog a bone, sir.



Of course.



Rabinowitz, demolition. I'm looking for

to blowing something up for you, Sir.



I'm looking forward your explosions.



Gentlemen, Commander Harbinger just advised me 

we have    hours to free the prisoners.



After that, we may lose them forever.



This is the prison camp area.



It is heavily fortified, but they never

expect an attack from the jungle.



Your contact, code name Bench Press,

will lead you to the camp.



I'll be there to meet you at the 

rendezvous point.



Good luck.






Topper, I know we haven't had

much time together but...



...when you go into battle,

I'd like you take something of mine with you.



Your lucky mole.



Topper, what are you reading?



Great Expectations.



-Is it any good?

-It's not all I hoped for.



Know what I'm gonna do if we make it?



I'm gonna go back to Eagle River

and marry my gal, Edith Mae.



Gonna get us a nice little place

with a white picket fence.



You know the kind.



Two-car garage.



Maybe a fishing boat.



And in    years,

when they're all paid for...



...I'll set my charges

and blow the shit out of them.



Got a girl, Topper?



Penny to Sky King, no parents in sight. 

Party is on.



Green, green, green...



Hook up.












Thanks, brothers.






Stop it!







-What are you doing here?

-This is Bench Press, our contact.



-I didn't know.

-Do you know each other?



Yes. Yes, we do.



It's been a long time.



-Let's see, the last time we met...

-Was The Flurvian Sea.



-You remember?

-I remember every detail.



The sky was blue. You wore gray.

I was in chiffon.



Topper, there's so much to say.



You're as beautiful as the day you dumped me.



You've changed.



That beauty mark.



It was a... It's a gift.



It's all very touching,

but this is no time to reminisce.



We have to be at the rendezvous point

in seven hours or we miss our pickup.



It's your show, hero.



Let's move out.



Follow me.



We're late. I know a shortcut.



-The meat's smoking.

-Shut up.



-No, no. Let's take it off the grill.

-Leave me alone.



-Frank, you're drunk again.

-Whose fault is that?



This is the best way

to the prison compound.



They're used to seeing fishing boats,

so they won't be suspicious.



There are clothes in the wheelhouse.



Somebody once wrote, “Hell is

the impossibility of reason. “



That's what this place

feels like. Hell.



I hate it already,

and it's only been a few hours.



I'm so tired. We get up at  :  a.m.



At first I thought they'd

handed me the wrong dossier.



I couldn't believe

they wanted this man dead.



Third generation West Point.

Top of his class.



Korea, Airborne...



...'bout a thousand decorations,

et cetera, et cetera.



I loved you in Wall Street!



Satellite reconnaissance indicates an enemy control boat has changed

course and is heading for our people.



Send the alert.



Hello, Lucky. Hello, Lucky. 

Report my signal.



Report my signal. Over.



Hello, George Mike Walters.

Strength three. Over.



Recon reports Indians

on the warpath in your area. Over.



Ain't no Indians around here. Over.



Do not take literally.

Repeat. Do not take literally.



The vultures are circling

the carcass. Repeat.



The vultures are circling the carcass. Over.



I see a couple of gulls, but I don't...



The pit bull is out of the cage.

The crips are raiding the store.



Hey, you yanking my crank?



They came by and see a woman, they will

know we are masquerading.



Only men are allowed

to do the fishing.






Why did you have to come here now?



Of all the missions

in all the jungles, in all the world...


            had come walking into this one.

-Oh, Topper. I tried to stay away.



I thought I was never going to see you 

again, that you were out of my life.



But it's a sequel.

I had to come.



Do you have any idea what

the critics will say?



-”Same warmed-over characters”

-Topper, stop it.



You're only using this whole

casting thing as an excuse...


            hide what's really hurting you.



Hurt? Maybe. Once.



But I knew this day would come.



I knew one day you'd

come crawling back...



...begging for forgiveness.

Groveling, sniveling...



...pleading for another chance.



Sorry, sweetheart, but this all-day

sucker is down to the soggy ____ stick.



No, Topper, you don't understand.



I'm married. I was married

before you and I ever met.



I'm still married today.



-You're joking.

-I'm not.



-You've got to be.

-Look, if I was joking I would say:



”A horse walks into a bar. The

bartender says, 'Why the long face?' “



You are married.



-Why didn't you tell me?

-I thought he was dead.



He worked for the goverment,

training pilots for the CIA in Germany.



Highest security.



They told me he was killed

over Villenshtoben.



Then the day before we and I 

were to go away...



...I recieve the word he was alive,

in a hospital in Berlin.



I had to go to him.



They ordered me not to tell anyone.



-I know how you must feel.

-You do, huh?



You know how it feels

to have your heart shot out of season...



...and strapped to the hood of a car?



To be passed like the worlds

largest kidney stone?






...I don't think so.



Patrol boat!



Remember, we're not American.

These boys aren't stupid.



Where's Harbinger?



Shut off your engine.



Shut off your engine.

We are coming aboard.



Kareem of Onion! Al Jarreau!



Go on! Get out of here!



Take that to the bank and cash it!



Swim for shore!



Save yourselves!



Swim for it! I'll catch up.






Omar Sharif!






(And another news: President Benson is 

returning to Washington today...)


            speak to the nation

in what experts are calling...



...the pivotal address

of his political career.



How is the speech coming, sir?



Oh, I'm practicing my A's.



-This is looking like an A to you?

-Yes, sir.



All right.



What's that, Bill?



We just received word from Michelle Huddleston.

Topper Harley is missing.



-His boat has been demolished.

-Oh, damn it!



Every time I give an order,

things gets screwed up!



Plan a reception, they bring

wrong hors d'oeuvres.



Appoint an ambassador, and they say:

No he leaves the country; and now this.



President, we need a plan.



This may be our last chance

to get the hostages out.



All right.



Here's where we are

and here is where they.



-Oh, Jesus. Oh, God.

-Oh, no time for prayer, Bob.



-Here's the target area.

-That's Minnesota, sir.



Damn it, man,

that's the genius of my plan.



We don't have to travel around the world to fight.

We can do it right here on home. Give them some good fish.



-Sir, the enemy is over there.

-Then we'll fly them over here.



They can bring their relatives.

We'll teach them ice skate...



-Do I have to think of everything?

-But Mr. President, the hostages!



It is imperative that you act now!






Topper! You made it!



That's right, Cindy,

it's    minutes past the hour.



And now here's the Buckinghams

with “Kind of a Drag.”



You're bleeding.



I'll be right.



Something else

bothers me a lot more.



Harbinger, where were you

when the patrol boat arrived?



Below, sweeping the boat for bombs.

What are you accusing me of?



Nothing, yet.

But I want you to know I smell a rat.



Don't push me lieutenant.

Before you bagged your first babe...



...I was shitting throats for this 

country making a damn good living at.



Hey, look. I'm not saying I don't trust you,

and I'm not saying I do. But I don't.



Save it for the enemy.

We got a job to do.



Oh, look. I'm cut too.






They got me too. It's a real gusher.



Get going.



There's a guard at the gate.



He's mine.



Wait here.







-Uh, Jesus!



Before we go in, there are something

you should know.



-What now?

-Have you heard of Dexter Hayman?



The freedom fighter?



Yeah, he won the Nobel Prize

for inventing the artificial appendix.




Dexter is one of the captives.



-He's my husband.

-You've got to be joking.



If I was joking, I would say:



”A rabbi, a priest and a minister

walk into a bar...”



Okay, okay, he is your husband.



Topper, I was so young,

just a schoolgirl.



He was an older man,

so wise in the ways of the world.



He used to come around

the schoolyard, day after day.



I so admired his persistence.



Even the restraining order of my parents

slapped on him wouldn't hold him back.



He opened my eyes to the arts:

music, clog-dancing, WrestleMania.



His work has meant so much to so many.



And I owe him everything, Topper.






I'm happy for you, kid.



But if you think you can hurt

me again, you're wrong.



I left my heart in my other pants.









The Iraqi coast.



Oh, those bluffs look treacherous.



Hadn't counted on that.



But if God is on our side, we will

rendezvous on Lincoln's wart by noon.



That's it, men.



We're going in!



My rescue mission was underway.



But two things kept running

through my mind:



Would we get to the men in time?



And why did I bring helium

instead of air?



I'll go to the rear.



Take the front door.



[The keys].







-Where are the prisoners?

-Over there.



-Let's go!

-I'll take the back gate.



Oh that's hell of a gun.



-Where's Dexter Hayman?

-Villa compound    .



Okay. I'm here.



”Terrorist Mountain.”



”It's a Small War.”

”Pirates of the Persian Gulf.”



”Hostage Mover.”

Ah! “Dexter's Dungeon.”



Harbinger, what are you doing here?



I was right, wasn't I?

You sabotaged all the other missions.



-I find that totally unacceptable.

-You got me wrong.



All these years...



...fighting, and shooting and killing.



I just.... I can't go on.



Hey, hey, hey, rainy face!

Hey, proud warrior.



Let the sun come out,

you big bad G.I. Joe.



You know, kitten, we all have

permission to make mistakes.



It's called “learning.”



You give your Uncle Topper...



...a nice big blow.



I'm done.



That a boy.



Thank you Topper. I can kill again.



-You've given me a reason to live.




Head for the gate. Plenty of bad guys

to shoot on the way.



Keeps going, and going, and going,

and going...



Nothing outlasts the...






There's a copter pad half a mile in the compound.



-That's our ticket out. Let's go!

-We can't leave. Not without Dexter.



Topper! Watch out!



For a moment there,

I thought you were....



Gabriella Sabatini?



I get that all the time.

It must be the nose.



The irony is I haven't picked up

a racket in years.



You saved my life.



Topper, no matter what happens,

I want you to know that...



...I never stopped loving you.



Let's move out!



Anyone of you knows how to get to the copter pad.



If I'm not there in   

you know what to do.



-Well, we get the hell out of here.

-No! Wait another    minutes.



We could hear the gunfire

from the compound.



From out of nowhere,

a patrol boat appeared over here.



How would we get past the soldiers

on that boat?



Then, suddenly, it happened.



Take cover!









That's it, good night.



War. It's fantastic!



Drop the gun!



Drop it!



You will die, Yankee bastard man.

How you say? Like a dog.



Now march!






Now I kill you where you stand,

you imperialist Yankee little dork of a pig.



Slippery rascal!



Butcher of Baghdad. Hello?



Well, hello.



Who is it? Who is it?



-It's your wife, Hillary Rodham Hussein.

-Jesus Mary Joseph!. I'm so stupid!



I was supposed to pick her up at the laundry, man.



Tell her I'm at the gym.

No, no, no, I'm out of town.



On business. Bombing,

gassing, eletric execution.



-Tell her something. Make it up.

-I'm sorry. Just missed him.



I owe you one.



Ali MacGraw! My eyes.



You little ...!

I'm going to split you like a melon!



Now I will kill you

until you die from it.



In a pig's ear.



-Mr. President!

-Suffering succotash!



Looks like the upper hand is on

the other foot, Saddam.









My skin's made of asbestos.



Tanning parlor accident at Dien Bien Phu.



Go on about your business, son.

I got a bone to settle with this guy.



Yes, sir. I'll get Dexter.



Let's make this a fair fight.



I've been waiting for you, O Big One.



We meet at last.

The circle is complete.



-Now I am the master!

-Only the master of evil, Saddam.



Your powers are...



Your powers are weak, old man.

You should not have come.



Well, all I have.

We'll settle this the old Navy way.



First guy to die, loses!



Water. Water! Water, please.



-It's locked. From the inside.




-Damn it!

-We're gonna die! We're gonna die!



-Get a hold of yourself, man!

-Blow it!



-It's not our property.

-Do it. Do it!



Oh, Mr. Geppetto!



Go ahead. Shoot.

You'll get nothing from me.



You are filth.

I spit in the face of filth.



-Dexter, come to get you out of here.

-You're American.



Yes, from America. Let's go.



My friend, I yearn for freedom

as much as anyone...



...but I run from no man.



You've got to come with me.



I can't walk. They...



They've tied my shoelaces together.



A knot.






I'm aborting the mission. Envelope

is closed. We're lifting off.



Here you go. It's $ .  .



I didn't think you'd make it.



Everybody onboard. We're getting out of here.



What about the others?

We just can't leave them.



Wait! I can't go any further.

I need to drink.



Okay. Right a bit.

Whoawhoawhoa, stop, stop there.



Down a bit, down a bit. There.

It's not very cold. Is this filtered?



Their artillery will be down

on us soon in seconds. We have to lift off.



No! If we leave now, we'll lose Topper and Dexter.



But that has been the idea all along,

hasn't it, Michelle?



You're looking beautiful as ever,

Ramada. How did you know?



I didn't. It all came together

when I saw you here.



I ?think about? your inscription

in my yearbook.



You wrote: “Remember all the fun

we had in speech class...



...and I'll fuck up your life

if it's the last thing I do.”



Then I realized where I had

last seen this.



What could I have done to make

you so vindictive?



Goodness sake. You gals know each other.



Oh, Ramada, how could you

have been so blind?



You were always too wrapped up in being

Miss Perfect College to notice me.



Why should you concern yourself with the feelings

of one insignificant roommate?



One fabulous day,

one incredible experience.



I had no idea it meant so much to you.



I remember that day

as if it were yesterday.



The exhilaration of experimenting...



...sharing something so new,

so dangerous...



-Go on.



And I'll never forget the look

on your face.



The way the sweat glistened

on your hard body.



Then you tied my ankles.



Tighter. Tighter.



But it just wasn't right.

It wasn't natural.



Bungee-jumping is just too

dangerous a sport.



Bungee-jumping? That's it?



Michelle, how could you do this? 

How could you hurt so many innocent people?



Oh, Ramada! It was always

so easy for you.



How could you ever understand?



I had Dexter imprisoned

because I wanted you to suffer...


            much as you made me suffer.

-You fool!



And then, when I discovered I couldn't win

Topper heart because...



...he still in love with you,

I tried to have you killed.



He... He still loves me.



You turned your back on America...



...because of your own ____ jealousy.

You're gonna pay for this.



Good doggy!



Aluminium siding. Ten-year guarantee.

Never have to be painted.



Do you have any idea where you're going?



Ha! You missed!



It'll take more than that

to stop me, you devils!



Don't jiggle me.



Advil! Midoh! Get over here!

To the helicopter.



They dicked with the wrong dictator.



This means war!



You better let me handle this, son.



Ugh! You're so sweaty.



-I knew you'd make it.

-[It's about time.]




-She's our saboteur.



Topper, can you get me off ?the hook?

for old times' sake?



Sorry, precious. No can do. You sold

out the greatest country in the world.



And to think I wore your mole.

Get her out of here.



Dexter? (Mister Bean?? :D)






Oh, dear Dexter. Look what they've

done to your shoelaces.



Oh, my darling. You've no idea what

I've just been through.



But now we're together again.

We have so much to look forward to.



I want to do it all.

Donahue. Heraldo.



Sally Jessy. Oh, and who's

that black chick...?




-Yes! Yes. Her too.



Let's go! It's getting hot here.



Go ahead. I'm going back for the president.






?I thought it over?. I'm staying here with you.



No you're not. Get on that helicopter with

Dexter, where you belong.



Why? I thought you loved me.



Ramada, I do love you.

I've tried to forget you...



...but no matter what I do, your face

is always on the tip of my tongue.



Then let me stay with you.



Ramada, I want to be with you.

I wanna hold you.



I wanna meet your parents and pet your dog.



My parents are dead, Topper. My dog ate them.



I'm sorry. We both know you

belong with Dexter.



You're part of his work,

the thing that keeps him going.



I'm not good in being noble, but do you have

any idea what'd happen if you stay here with me?



Of course I do.



Sex. Wild, free, passionate,

unbridled sex.



I'd fondle you in ways

you can't imagine.



I would pleasure you at any time,

in any place, in any way...



...for as long as you could

possibly desire.



You better get going.

You'll miss your takeoff.



Goodbye, Topper. God bless you.



Wait a second, let me get a shot of you two.



It'll be great vision for the talk shows.

Let's just frame this up.



Closer together. Come on.

Don't be shy.



Put your arm around her.



I've almost got it.

This is a great shot.



My God, you're gonna love this!



You know, under other circumstances,

you'd make a great couple.



Oh, well. Say chee...



You're moving too much.

Quit spinning!



This'll make me rich and f...



-He really was a wiener!

-Don't get me started.



Hold it there! Hold it!



This buggy going to America?



Mr. President, I was afraid we may've lost you!



Lost? Huh? Not a chance.



I shove over you guys! I got ______ in the window seat.



-They're in my sights.

-Just a second! This is personal.



We're too heavy.

We need to lose some weight.


Special help by SergeiK