In Good Company Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the In Good Company script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Dennis Quaid, Topher Grace, and Scarlett Johansson.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of In Good Company . I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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In Good Company Script

[crickets chirping]

  [Glass Concrete & Stone
by David Byrne playing]

  Now I'm wakin'
at the crack of dawn  

  To send a little money

  From here to the moon  

  Is risin'
like a discotheque  

  And now my bags are down
and packed  

  For traveling  

(anchor woman)
After months of speculation

analysts expect
an announcement this week

that GlobeCom International
will acquire
Waterman Publishing

and its flagship magazine,
Sports America.

The man at the helm
of GlobeCom,

billionaire media magnate
Teddy K.

has been
on a spending spree recently,

a food service company,
a cable operator

and two
telecommunications providers

in deals totaling
more than $   billion.

And how did one
lucky ferret owner
come to own

the largest dog
treat manufacturer
on the East Coast?

  Skin, that covers me
from head to toe  

  Except a couple tiny holes  

  And openings  

  Where, the city's blowin'
in and out  

  This is what it's
all about  


  Everything's possible  

  When you're an animal,
not inconceivable  

  How things can change  

  I know  

  So I'm puttin' on

  Nothin' is out of place  

  Gonna be on my way  

  Try to pretend  

  It's not only  

  Glass and concrete
and stone  

  That it's just a house,
not a home   

Mr. Kalb.


Thanks for
the Lakers tickets.

You bet.

Seats were terrific.

But l'm still not going to
advertise in the magazine.

My son-in-law tells me
that people
don't read much anymore.

Too much effort
moving the eyes
back and forth.

So we're gonna put
most of our budget

into television,
radio, lnternet.


What does that mean?

l'm not gonna try to
sell you.

Why the hell not?
You're a salesman.

Just not a very good one,
that's all.

l'll say.

But l am gonna
ask you one favor.

Oh, yeah?

l'm gonna leave you
an issue of the magazine.

And l'm personally
gonna send you
a new one every week.

Now, l'll call you
in a few weeks,

and if you want to,
we'll talk.

There's a great
article in there

today's quarterbacks
with Johnny Unitas.


Unitas would kick
their butts.


So, this is
your sales pitch?

l've been with the magazine
for    years.
l believe in it.

Well, good for you.

So, are you worried
about all these rumors

that your parent company
is about to be sold?

No, not really.

l don't see how
it would affect us.

Well, hopefully it won't.

You know,
that Teddy K. character

offered to buy my business
a few years ago.

l told him
to go screw himself.


My son-in-law
says l'm a dinosaur.

Don't knock dinosaurs.
They ruled the earth
for millions of years.

They must've been doing
something right

Simply put, we are never
gonna be able to reach

this significant,
untapped market,

until we learn
to think like them.

ln point of fact,

less than .   percent
of all cell phone users

are under the age
of   years old.

That's why we have
the T-Rex phone

and the Triceratops phone,
and the Pterodactyl phone.

'Cause it's gonna change
all of that

and each one of these phones
has its own unique ring.


[mimicking child]
Mommy, Mommy, l want one.

Buy me one for Christmas.

P.F.G., Carter. P.F.G.

What's P.F.G.?

Pretty fricking good.

Gentlemen, ladies.
l have an announcement
to make:

lt's on.

Teddy K. has busted his move

and we are taking over
Waterman Publishing.


Let's give it up for Teddy K.


The man has vision.
He's a maniac.

And, l guess it's okay
to tell you Teddy K.

has personally asked me
to go over there

and turn around marketing
in the magazine division.

So, if you'll excuse me...

Carry on.

That's incredible.

Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mark. Mark,
you're taking me with you.

Tell me you are
taking me with you.

Carter, l'm gonna
take that place

and whip its fat ass
into shape.


l want you to come
run ad sales
at Sports America.

l knew it. l knew it.

The magazine's
a cash cow.

lt's the cornerstone.

l mentioned your name
to Teddy K.

He liked what you did
with cell phones.

Oh, hold up,
hold up. l'm...

l'm sorry.
Teddy K. knows my name?

l'm gonna
tell you something.

And l don't want it
to go to your head.

You're being groomed.

l'm being groomed?

Mark. Thank you.

Thank you. l am going to kick
so much ass for you.

l'm gonna
take no prisoners.

l'll be your
ninja assassin.

Wow. You're the new me.

No, l'm the new me.



What's up?

[engine starting]

[knocking on door]

Hey, Dad.

Hey, button.

What are you
still doing awake?

Couldn't sleep.

Can't sleep?

What, were you worried
about something?

No, not really.


'Cause, uh,

you know if--if--if you are
worried about something

you can always talk to me
about anything.

Remember? You know

when you were a little girl
we crossed our hearts

and said we'd always tell
each other everything.

Be honest with one another.



l'm kind of tired.

Hmm. Okay.

We still gonna hit tomorrow?

Yeah, sure.

All right.
l'll see you then.
l love you.

l love you, too.

[Ann grunting]



Uh, what time is it?

lt's after  :  .
Go back to sleep, honey.

Sorry l woke you up.

Hi, sweetheart.



does Alex have
a new boyfriend?

Uh, no.

W-What about that
Myron kid?

l think that
they're just friends.


l'm pregnant.



l'm sorry. l thought you said
that you were pregnant.


You can't be pregnant.

Yeah, l can.
l'm... l am.

Now, how could
that happen?

Well, l think that
you were there, too.

No, honey.

You know you're done
with all that.

That's what
Dr. Steinberg said,
but he was wrong.

You're pregnant?

Holy crap.

Holy crap!

Are you sure?


Does it feel like a boy?

Right now it feels
like a stomach flu.

You can't be serious.
Are you serious?

l am serious.


This is fine.
This is fine.

This is...
This is fine.


That means when he's   

l'll be   .



Holy crap.

l'm just so excited.
l'm so excited.

ls excitement contagious
or what?

Um, no.

l'm being groomed.
l'm being groomed.

Do you have any idea
what this means?

That you're a chimpanzee?

lt means that
we're on the road.

You know, things are
fallin' into place.

We can buy a bigger house.

We can have kids. You know?


l'm sorry.
We got a life going on here!

Carter, it's  :   a.m.

How much more enthusiasm
are we looking at here?

   minutes? An hour?

Honey, l'm sorry.

lt's just,
Teddy K. knows my name.

Are you even
qualified for this job?

What? Yes. Sure.

Selling cell phones,
selling ad space.

You know,
it's all the same crap.

Anyway, it's
just a stepping-stone.

Love you.

Love you, too.

The light.

[dog barking]

We're all gonna get fired.

Well, anything's possible.

No, it's not possible.
lt's probable.

Did you hear
about this Teddy K. guy?

Hear about him?
Everybody's heard
about him.

l heard he's an albino,
but he covers it with makeup.

Yes. What?

Are you fired?

What? No!
What? Why?

You haven't heard

Why? Are you fired?

Uh, l'm sorry.

Are--are you saying
l'm fired?

No, no, not yet.
l mean not yet, Dan.

l'm... l can't
predict the future. Um,

the thing is, Dan,

you're not head
of ad sales anymore.

Carter Duryea is.

Who is Carter Duryea?

Some hotshot from GlobeCom.

This a bummer, Dan.
lt's a real bummer.

But you're lucky.
A lot of people are getting
canned immediately

across the company.

Are you getting fired?

Me? No.

This is a joke.
This is a joke.

We have had
our biggest year ever
this year.

My sales team
works incredibly hard.

l'm not gonna
put up with this.

Well, you have to
put up with it.

What are you gonna do,
start somewhere new?

You're not a kid anymore.

You know how tough it is
out there.

People are cutting back.

They're not looking
for guys like you
who make a decent salary.

Hey, buddy, l am as pissed off
about this as you are.

So then why are you smiling?

l'm not smiling.

Yeah, your lips
are curling up.

They do that naturally, Dan.


[cars honking]

[elevator bell dings]

Hold up! Hold up! Thank you.

[Alex clearing throat]

  . Are you going
to Sports America offices?


You an intern or something?

Uh, no, my dad works there.


Are you interning there?

No, l'm starting
a job there today.

That's cool.

Oh, thank you.

l'm totally scared shitless.
l have no idea what l'm doing.

Don't tell anyone, okay?


[elevator bell dinging]


Thank you.


Dan, your daughter's here.
She is?

Hey, boss, what's this
gonna do to our stock options?

l have no idea.
Don't call me ''boss.''

Now, look. l insist.
Let me take that.

No, that's okay.
l'll hold onto it.
Oh, no, really.

Dan, you hear anything?
Are we fired?

Mr. Colon is so excited
to work with--

Oh, God. l'm sorry.

No, l'm sorry. You okay?

l'm fine.
lt was all my fault.

Uh, you okay?

Yeah, uh, no broken bones.

No harm, no foul.

Okay, terrific.

Hey, champ.

Hi, what are you
doing here?


Oh, sorry.
Yeah. Yeah.

ls today a bad day?

Ah, no.

No, no, it's--it's fine.
lt's just... To hell with it.


Let's go. Come on.





You all right?


Man, you sort of
sucked today.


l was just holding back
to give you some confidence.

Yeah, right.

You're an old man.


Hey, Dad.


Remember when l said
l might want to
transfer to NYU?


Well, l got in.

What, to NYU?


Sweetheart, that's fantastic.


l'm so proud of you.

Thank you.

You'd--you'd have to
live here in the city, though.

Yeah. And, uh, l want to
study creative writing.

And NYU has
such a great program.

But what about SUNY
and the tennis team?

Dad, l'm not gonna be
a professional tennis player.

Well, look, sweetheart,
being a writer
is just as tough.

You're living in the city
and l don't-- l don't--
l don't like that idea.

This is a lonely place.

You got to have
street smarts.

l don't think
that's such a good idea.


l want to try
living in the city.


l know that NYU
is more expensive,

but it would be
such a great experience
for me.

Yeah. lt is more expensive.



it's your education.


That's the most
important thing, right?


We could manage it.




You're drenched.

Oh. Oh.

l think you're gonna be
very happy here.

You're really stepping
into an all-star team.

Oh, uh, this is
Morty Wexler.

Morty, Carter Duryea.

Duryea. You're on
the Ford account, right?


Well, it's a pleasure
to meet you.

You, too.
l'm really looking forward
to working with you.

Oh, terrific.


''l really look forward
to working with you.''


Bite me.

Uh, we have
a terrific office
for you.

Great view. Um,
lt's not cleared out yet.
But, uh...

Not bad, huh?

Uh, excuse me a second?
l'm going to use
the little boys' room.

Oh, yeah. Sure.


[elevator bell dinging]

[door opening]

May l help you?

Oh, l'm sorry.
This is your office.


You're the guy l bumped into.

Dan Foreman. Carter Duryea.

You're Carter Duryea?

Yes, and, uh,
it's a pleasure to meet you.

The Carter Duryea
that's come in
to run ad sales?

That's correct.

How old are you?

l'm    years old.


and you're my new boss.

Uh, l guess so.

That's, uh,
that's quite a...

That's quite a kung-fu grip
you got there, Dan.

Oh, well. So,

what kind of experience
do you have in ad sales?

Uh, well,
l'll be honest with you, Dan.

Not much.

How much?



That's not much.

But l'm a fast learner, Dan.

Hey, now that you know
how old l am,

how old are you?

l'm    .

Fif... Wow!

[both chuckling]

Wow. That's crazy.

That's like a year older
than my dad, so that's weird.

Oh, well, this is...
This is great.

You two have met.

Are you kidding me?
We are old buddies by now.

Dan, it was a pleasure
to meet you.


Um, Dan,
you want this door closed?

[clearing throat]
Yeah, you can go, um,
go ahead and close it.

[door closing]

[metallic clanking]

So it was
pretty unexpected.

But it's--it's like
a pretty big promotion.

That's fantastic!
Way to go.

So, uh, the Boxster S
has more guts.

You'll sure feel
the extra horsepower.

But if you really wanna go,

l'd say
take the      Carrera.

l'm gonna go with the      .

  [Sister Surround
by Soundtrack of Our Lives


  You're a rhyme
without reason  

  And you know it so well  

  Well, who's
the king of the season  

  Well, you never can tell  

Go ahead.

  Though it's so plain
to see  


  Surround sister  

  'Cause I'm not afraid
to fall  


  No, I'm not afraid
to fall   

[engine revving]

[glass shattering]




[crickets chirping]

[door closes]



Uh, l hurt my arm.
But l-l'm okay.

l'm glad you're okay.



Kimmy, again?


Seven months?
We've been married...

Come on.

Okay, l know things have been
a little off.

l've been swamped at work.

l mean, God,
l should have taken you
on a real honeymoon.

Well, l should have just
shut that cell phone off.
lt was...

lt was ringing off the hook.

That's--that's my bad.

You know, this whole thing
is my fault.

Okay, here's the good news.

l can change.
l'm gonna change.

This--this has actually been
a very good lesson for me.
Thank you.

Don't try to sell me, Carter.

l love you, Kim.

Kim, l want to
have kids with you.

But l don't want to have kids
with you.

l don't even know
if l want to have kids.

l told you that.

l told you that
on our second date.

Wow, l thought
you were kidding.

Carter, is this really
such a surprise to you?

Are you sleeping
with somebody else?

l was,
but l broke up with him.

Well, it must have been
really rough on him.


l'll be at my parents'.

They're really excited
to have me back.

[heart beating]

[door closing]

We're gonna hear
two heartbeats now.


That strong, slower one
is yours, mom.

[heart beating fast]

And that... that's your
baby's heartbeat.


Oh, my God!

Nice, strong heartbeat.

That's your new baby, Dan.

[heart beating rapidly]



Are you okay?

Uh, yeah.

That's fantastic.

Uh, l'm feeling a little,


You are having
a little bit of arrhythmia.

Have you been drinking
a lot of caffeine lately?


You under
a lot of stress?

Well, l...

l did sort of
get demoted at work.


You what?


l, uh... We'll talk.

[dog barking]

[crickets chirping]

[car seat whirring]

[cars honking]



Yeah, just keep them coming.
You don't even have to ask.


How was everyone's weekend?

l'm sorry. That was, uh...



[clearing throat]

Um, l'd like to thank everyone
for joining me here.

Teddy K. has an...
has a thing

that what makes GlobeCom great
is the men and women

of GlobeCom.

ls it like a thousand degrees
in here or is it me?

lt's like...

lt's me.

l have an agenda.

And you're gonna learn this
about me. l'm a machine.

What was l saying
about the...

An agenda.

An agenda, l have an agenda.


Which is that l have to
immediately, um,

increase the ad pages here
by    percent.

   percent? Carter,
only a startup magazine
can do that.

Yeah, well, l think
this team can do it, Dan.

Um, how?

Well, Morty,
basically what we--

that's an awesome question.


And the answer

is synergy.

We need to team up here.

Yeah, we need to synchronize

and we need to synergize.

We're not alone.
We're not alone.

We're part of
one of the biggest multimedia

and brand name companies
in the known universe, okay?

Let's--let's take advantage
of that, like, uh...


Krispity Krunch.

Did anyone know that, uh,

one of our sister companies
is Krispity Krunch?


So we talk to
our brothers and sisters
over at Krispity Krunch.

We make a deal
where we supply

sports factoids
to their boxes.

So that when Joe Couch Potato
is sitting there,

he's, uh, snacking,
he looks down,
and what does he see?

Sports America
Krispity Krunch
sports factoids.

He's definitely buying
more Krispity Krunch

and not Krunch 'n Krackle

which, by the way,
looks and tastes
exactly the same.

But guess what?
No sports factoids.

And Krispity Krunch
is so happy they guarantee us
   pages a year.

Besides which,
they know if they don't,

Teddy K. is gonna be pissed.

What is that? What am l
talking about here, people?


lsn't that cheating?

No, no. Hell, no.

And, uh, Techline cell phones.

We own Techline cell phones.

Guess what we put
on their browser?


Yes! Factoids! Synergy!

And what else?
Uh, box scores. And ads!

We make a deal
like a        hits
on the lnternet

has the equivalent value
of one ad page
of our hard copy.

Are you getting it, people?

The magazine has become
just a portal

to a synergized world
of cross-promotion.

We're gonna bust things
wide open.

We are gonna take things
to the next level.

Who's with me? Who's with me?
Who-- who's psyched?

Lou, are you psyched?

Yeah, l'm psyched.


Alicia, are you psyched?


Better. This guy. l'm sorry,
l don't know your name yet.

l'm in maintenance.

That's cool. Hector...

l know you're psyched.

l'm psyched!

[all laughing]

Yes, Hector's psyched!

And if Hector's psyched,
then you know l'm psyched.

l am psyched for this team.

Now who else is with me?
Who's psyched?

l'm psyched!

Excellent. Who else? Come on.

Who do you think will be
the first to get canned?

My money's on Dan.
He's prehistoric.

Sorry, Dan.

Thanks for joining me
for lunch.

You like sushi?

l'll just stick
with the teriyaki.

You should try some.

The spicy tuna here is money.

Come here. Get that.

Get that.

Yeah, go fishing, man.



So l wanted to talk to you,


because, uh,

This is raw.

in ad pages is...

Well, it's really
only part of the equation

in terms of achieving
the bottom line

my bosses want me to hit.

Understand, Teddy K.
is making cuts
across the board here.

ln point of fact,
l have to cut

$       salary
from the sales team


l don't make
that much money, Carter.

l know how much
you make, Dan.


l wish you'd told me
that l was fired

before l ate
the goddamn fish.

Oh, Dan! Dan! Dan!

[clearing throat]

l'm--l'm not letting you
go here.

You're not?


You are an excellent salesman.

You ran a good team.

l think
that you have the potential

to be an awesome wingman here.

An awesome wingman?


B-But, Carter,
l definitely see
the benefit for you

in having an awesome wingman.

But what is
the benefit for me
at this point in my career

of being an awesome wingman?


one benefit at this point
in your career

is that you get
to keep your job.

That's a pretty good benefit,
don't you think?

Really? Really!
Are you smiling?

You're smiling!
This is funny to you.

Guess what? You have no idea

what a nightmare you're about
to step into, my friend.

[door opening]


We'll see how soon
this place goes down
the poop chute without me.

Maybe there is justice
in the world.

You enjoying yourselves?

[phone ringing]

  [Gone For Good
by The Shins playing]

  Untie me,
I've said no vows  

  The train is getting
way too loud  

Carter is ready for you.

  I gotta leave here my girl  

  Get on with my lonely life  

Dan, uh,
l'd like you to take a look
at one of these forms for me.

lt's a     evaluation.

lt's basically an evaluation
from every angle.

That's why it's called a    .

lt's corporate policy.

But it would be great
if l had it by Monday.

lf you really want
to get aggressive,

to penetrate that
core demographic--

l believe that--
Dan, not now.

Sports America
is the number one magazine,
boys    to    in the country.

  I spent    long months
on the lam  

  That's enough sitting
on the fence  

[Kim on answering machine]
Hi, leave me a message
or don't.

[machine beeping]

Hi, it's me.

l mean, you know it's me.

Uh, just filling up
the old mailbox.
So give me a call

or don't.

  And go out of my head  

  You love a sinking stone  

Here, boy.

  That'll never elope  

  So get used to
the lonesome  

Oh, hi, Mrs. Cherneski.

No, l didn't know
he moved out.

tell him Carter says hi.

Here, boy!

Here, boy!


(male announcer)
And he is dropped
right on the goal line.

Tackled by Bob Colder,
Leahey held on to the ball...

Hey, Dan.

lt's Carter.


Carter Duryea.


Thought we'd get
the group together tomorrow.

Maybe go over some
business development ideas.

Tomorrow's Sunday.

l know. lt'll be great.
We'll get a great jump
on the week.

Not the whole day, just
a couple of hours
in the afternoon.

l'll tell you what,
l will see you there at noon.

Uh, l'll bring some sushi.
lt'll be a lot of fun.

Okay? Great.
All right.

  You love a sinking stone  

  That'll never elope  

  So get used to
the lonesome  

  Girl, you must atone some  

  Don't leave me
no phone number there   

[footsteps approaching]

What are you doing?


[clearing throat]

Um, nothing.

l was just, uh, seeing stars.

Ever do that?

Yeah, when l was three.

Hey, what are you doing here
on a Sunday?

Sunday is a fun day
to kick some ass.


Guess what?
l have my whole team
coming in today.

Hey, Dan Foreman's here.
You should really meet him.

Yeah, l'd rather not get
personally involved.

Didn't we decide
to let him go?

Uh, no, we let Enrique Colon
go instead. Remember?

Yeah. That's right.

Did a little colon cleansing.

Get it?

[both laughing]

Hey, you want to grab
some dinner tonight?

Ooh, wish l could.

l got to fly to Berlin
to meet with
some of our satellite guys.

Ha, too bad.

Somethin' wrong?


My wife and l are having
some problems and, uh,
l was just--

Okay, l got to go.

Listen, uh,
you're gonna have to riff
some more people, man.

Okay. Riff them?

Reduction in forces.
Shitcan them.

Right. Um, but l think
we're gonna get
ad pages up here.

So l don't think
we need to riff anybody yet.

Well, sooner or later
everybody has to deal
with reality.

Thanks for coming in.

You, great job today.

Louie, great job.
You want to, uh,
grab a drink or something?

You know, l'd love to, but l'm
a recovering alcoholic.

Well, better not, then.

How about you, Morty.

Uh, l'd better
get home for dinner.

My wife is
slowly poisoning me
to death

and she gets very angry
if l'm late.

Okay. Alicia?

Uh, you know what,
l got to go home
and do my hair.

Oh, shut up.


How about you, Dan?
You want to, uh,
grab a drink or something?

lt's Sunday.

l have to go home
and have dinner
with my family.

You want to have dinner
with my family?

Oh, yeah! Are you...
Let me, uh, let me just
grab my stuff.


[tires squealing]

Who taught you
how to drive?

No one.

No kidding.

l'm home.


Oh, this is what
l'm talking about.

This is like
a real home-type home.

Hey, sweetheart.
This is Carter Duryea
from the office.

Hello, it's nice to meet you.
Hey, Mrs. Foreman.

What a pleasure
to meet you.

Thank you so much
for having me
into your home.

[clearing throat]
You're very welcome.

l hope you like baked ziti.

Baked ziti! Uh, this is...
This is so perfect.

That baked ziti.
That's so...
This is what l need.

Like a-- Like a real,
home-cooked thing.

This is great.

ls there something wrong
with him?


Let's just feed him
and get him the hell
outta here, okay?

He's really young.

He's a lot younger than you.

Yeah. Thank you for that.
Thank you.


So, um,
l did the numbers on NYU.

Do you know how expensive
that place is?

Plus living expenses.

Plus Jana's orthodonture.
Plus baby costs.

Don't worry about it.

Well, that's not actually
a solution to a problem.
''Don't worry about it.''

l think we may have to
take out a second mortgage.

Why don't l just go
into the living room
and ask my boss for a raise?

Oh, hey.

l was, uh, just looking
at you and...

And you've...

We never got to...

That day in the elevator.

My name's Carter Duryea.

Yeah, l know who you are.

Does my dad
know you're here?

Uh, your dad invited
me over for dinner.


Uh, who's that?

Uh, it's Dad's new boss.

You can't be Dad's new boss.
You're too young.

Yeah, and he's also
scared shitless.

Wow, good memory.

And you're too cute
to be Dad's boss.

Oh, well, thank you.

[phone ringing]

l got it!


So, uh, how's it going?


So what are you
doing here, really?

Uh, my wife left me,
and today's the anniversary
of our first date.

l found the idea
of going home
to be so depressing

that l kind of leeched
onto your dad

and invited myself over
for dinner.


Wow, you're sort of a
bizarrely honest guy. Huh?


No. Honestly, l'm...


l'm not.

Just around you,
for some reason.

People would probably say
that l'm
an emotionally guarded

anal-retentive asshole.

You wanna play foosball?

Cool, l'll just change.

Good. Yeah.

Do you think Alex could cope
with living in the city
on her own?


Well, l'm less worried
about her coping with it
than l am about you.

Yeah, well, frankly,
l'd rather keep her
under house arrest

with a homing device
around her ankle.

Then why did you agree to it
without even talking to me?


And why is your
teenage boss here?

And why am l so nauseous?

l hardly had any
morning sickness
the first two times.

Hey, hey, hey!

and l'm so sick of it!

Calm down.
Let me have that.




l'm not really
that into tennis anymore.

What l'm really not into
is being the jock.

You know, it's like people
don't even invite me
to their parties

because they think
l'm in training or something.

Also, there's this rumor
going around
that l'm a lesbian.

[Carter chuckling]
Man, that sucks.

Or not. l don't...
Not being a lesbian.

Yeah, well, l'm not.

lt'd be one thing if l wanted
to go pro and make
a ton of money,

but l'm not at that level.

l've played girls
at that level and l'm not.

l mean, not that
l'd want that, really.

Their lives have peaked
by the time they're like    .

Oh, nice.

l wonder that
about myself sometimes, too.

Like maybe my life
has peaked at   .

Maybe it's all
downhill from here.

Well, it probably is.


Here you go.
Keep the change.

Dinner's ready!

l'm on an important call!

With who?

My boyfriend.

Your what?

Hi, this is Mr. Foreman.
Who is this
and how old are you?

All right.
Well, l just wanted to say

if you ever give my daughter
an alcoholic beverage
or a joint,

l will hunt you down
and neuter you.


Dinner's ready!

[door squeaking]

There you are.

You kids ready
to come in for dinner?

[crickets chirping]



l lived in the same town
as my mom.

And l mean...
You know what l mean?

The entire...
The whole family thing was--

Yes, l'm...

No, no, it's really not
a good time right now.

l know, but l
really like him a lot.

Oh, my God,
this pizza's amazing.
Where'd you get this?

lt's from a wonderful little
ltalian restaurant
called Domino's.

So, are you really
Dad's new boss?

We're not, uh,
we're really more colleagues.

No, that's not true.
He's the boss man.
l'm the wingman.

Are you married?
You're wearing a wedding ring.

Um, yes, l am, sort of.

Um, or...
Yes, no. l'm married.

So you're like
prematurely old.

Jana, would you
pass the pizza?

l got it.
Oh, my God, Dan.
My bad.

l'm sorry.
l mean, l got it.
l got it.

Carter, Carter, C-Carter.

Only my wife
is allowed to touch me there.


Excuse me.
l'm gonna go upstairs.

l'm gonna change
my pants again.

Good job.


Thank you.

Thank you so much.
Terrific pepperoni,
by the way.

You're very welcome.
Goodbye. Go home.


Good night.

Thanks again.

  [Naked As We Came
by lron And Wine playing]

  She says, ''Wake up,
it's no use pretending''  

  I'll keep stealing,
breathing her  

[engine starts]

  Birds are leaving
over autumn's ending  

  One of us will die
inside these arms  

  Eyes wide open  

  Naked as we came  

  One will spread our  

  ashes around the yard  

  She says, ''If I leave
before you, darling  

  Don't you waste me
in the ground''  

  I lay smiling
like our sleeping children  

  One of us will die
inside these arms  

Oh, here.

l got you some pepper spray.

  Eyes wide open,
naked as we came  

Oh, how sweet.

And l've installed
surveillance equipment
throughout the dorm.

So l'll know if you're
getting into trouble.


  One will spread our
ashes around the yard   

Be careful.


l love you, Dad.

Love you, too.


See you later.


Sign here, here, and here.

And you've got
your second mortgage.

Sign, uh, there, there,
and there.

And it's official.

You're divorced.

[cars honking]

Okay, two things.

First, Steckle is organizing
a company basketball league.

l'm gonna be
sales team captain.

You are my new power forward.

And second,
l heard you're taking
the guys from Rums Jamaica

to the Knicks game
on Wednesday night?


You have to run
that stuff by me, man.

Run it by you?
They're my clients.

No, they're not, Dan.
They're GlobeCom clients.

That's why we're gonna
be takin' 'em
to the GlobeCom luxury suite.

Well, these aren't
luxury suite type of guys.

Dan, everyone's
a luxury suite type of guy.


Uh, we can't go there
on Wednesday,
because Teddy K.

is hosting Bill Clinton,
Jay-Z, and Kofi Annan.

We're gonna do it

l'll bring them
to a concert.

Look, l gotta get these guys
to up their buy by    pages.

We gotta start kicking
some ass here.


l'm gonna have to let
some people go.

Why do you say
''let them go''?

They don't want to go.

Why don't you just say,
''fire them''?

Because it sounds better.

Not to the person
getting fired, it doesn't.

  You wanna get with me?  
  Put 'em up  

  Take long trips with me  

This guy was shot     times
and pronounced legally dead.

Hence the name.

Someone should tell him
it's spelled D-E-A-D.


They're afraid to.

He's got the number one
hit single right now.

He's a protege of    Cent.

Why don't they
just call him ''Nickel''?


   years, your jokes
still haven't improved.

Want you guys to meet
my colleague.

This is Petey
from K-Jam Sneakers.

Hey, hey.


Cross-promotional idea.

You buy a certain amount
of Jamaican rum, boom.

You get a discount
on running shoes. Done.

Yeah, sounds like
a great fit.

Get a lot of drunk people
running around.


Dan. You want to go
get some air?


Be back in a bit.

Word. Hey, not too long.
We got chimichangas
on the way.

  You wanna get with me?
Take long trips with me   

Sorry about the concert.

They wouldn't let me
just get regular seats
for the Knicks game.

No, it's okay.

Look, Dan.
l've been instructed
not to advertise

with Sports America anymore.


We were bought out last year
by this company called
Continental Brands.

Apparently, the company
that bought us

and the company
that bought you

are having a feud over
wireless communications
in Europe.

Wireless communications?

What--what the hell
does that have to do
with our business?

Nothing. But we have
this corporate policy now.

Look, l'm sorry, Dan.

  [music playing]


Dan, l have to

fire Louie and Morty.

No, you don't.

l do.

We're gonna get
those ad pages back.

We'll get those...

Oh, my God! lt's like
you don't get it or something.

That was a huge client.

Steckle gave me
a bottom line here.

l have to increase pages.

We already got Harry, Pete,
and Alicia
on the Ford account.

Morty's the logical choice.

Oh, and the new woman
at Pepsi thinks
that Louie's a sexist.

Guess why.
He called her ''sugar tits.''

He's an idiot.

Come on,
you can't fire these guys.

These are my guys.

They've been with me
for eight years.

l hired them
at the same time.

Yeah, l know, Dan.

That's why
they have huge,
bloated salaries.

And they're not
pulling their weight.

l'm sorry.

Well, l've been here
for    years.

My salary's
bigger than theirs.
Why don't you just fire me?

Do you want me to fire you?

Because l could, Dan.

You have
a family that loves you.

You have a kid on the way.

l look at you sometimes
and it's like...

You have people
who need you.

Do you really wanna
put them in jeopardy
for Louie and Morty?

  [Sunset Soon Forgotten
by lron And Wine playing]

  Be this sunset
soon forgotten  

  And what's worth keepin'  

  Sun still sinkin'  


  Down and down  

  Once again  

  Down and down  

  Gone again   

What, are you
living here now?


What... We, uh...
What time is it?

 :   a.m.

Look, l've been thinking
all night.

[breathing deeply]

And, uh, if it has to be done,

l should be the one to do it.

[phone ringing]

[Dan sighing]


Guys, l feel really terrible
about what l'm about to say.

But l'm afraid
you're both being let go.

Let go?
What does that mean?

lt means
you're being fired, Louie.

Believe me,
if l had any choice
in this, l would...


Anyway, l thought
you should hear it from me

because l'm the one
who hired you.

Oh. Wait a minute.
Are you being fired, too?

No, no. Uh...

[clearing throat]

This isn't my decision.

Oh, so it's not your decision,
so therefore it's not
your fault, right?

l didn't say that.

You know,
this is bullshit.

No, no, Morty.

You know something?
l look at you
like a brother.

l would've stood in front
of a bus for you,
you piece of shit!

You've turned into a real
corporate asshole,
you know that, Dan?


Do me a favor.
lf you see my friend Dan,
tell him l'm looking for him.


Dan, what the hell am l
gonna tell my wife?

l mean, she already
wears the pants.

Now she's gonna wear
the tie and jacket, too.

Morty, l am
so very sorry.

l know this must have been
hard for you, Dan.

You were a good boss.

l mean it. You always treated
everyone with respect.
And l...

Look, l appreciate it.

What's this?

My     evaluation.

Uh, you rated yourself,
''Does not meet expectations.''


l'm gonna cry.

Don't. l'll call you.

Take care, Morty.

Okay, good luck.


l can't believe this.

Me neither.

You gonna be okay?

l'll be okay.

Take care.

No way! What are...
What are you doing here?

Hey! Um,

just reading.
l-l've-- l go to NYU now.

No way!

You did it! That's...
That's awesome.

Yeah, yeah.
What about you?

l'm renting
an apartment in TriBeCa.

Oh, yeah?

Wow, that's awesome.

Do you drink coffee?

Uh, normally l just hook up
to an lV, actually.

[both laugh]

[car honking]

My, you sure can pound back
the caffeine, huh?

ls that why
your leg is shaking like that?

l think it is. Yeah.

You're not wearing
your wedding band.

Oh. Yeah.
l'm now officially

the first person
in my high school class

to get divorced.

Oh, l'm sorry.

No, it's okay.

When l think about it

it was pretty much coming
since our second date.

How's... How are you?
How's school going?

lt's pretty good.

lt's pretty good.
l mean, you know,
it's, it's, uh...

it's hard to meet new people
as a transfer.

Everybody's got
their own little cliques

and they're not sure
if they want to
admit one more.

But, uh,
my creative writing classes
are really great.

Oh, yeah,
creative writing?

l've just, uh...

l've always been
interested in stories

and escaping
into other people's lives.

l guess 'cause
mine always seems so boring.

l'm cursed with
a functional family.

But writing
isn't exactly practical.

So l think
l might double major
in business.

Oh, no. Don't do that.

Stick with
the creative writing.

Strange, you know,
sometimes you seem sort of

bummed out about your career,
but you're so successful.

No, l'm not bummed. Uh...

God, my career is pretty much
what l have in my life.

That and a dented Porsche,


Your family
must be really proud of you.

My mom is.

You know, she's...
She's this kind of hippie.

So she's not really into
the corporate thing.

And my dad left home
when l was  

so, you know,
l never really
got to know him.

His family had money,

but, uh,
he was this kind of artist

you know, in quotes,
slash druggy.

Uh, he was in this cult
for a while.

Do you, do you...
Let's get out of here.

Do you want to, like,
take a walk or something?

l'm like, uh...
Now that l've told you
my entire life story.


Although, uh,
there isn't much left
to talk about.

by Damien Rice playing]


  Still a little bit
of your taste  

  In my mouth  

  Still a little bit of you

  With my doubt  

  Still a little hard
to say  

...wear these giant muumuus
that were see-through.

  What's going on  
They were see-through?

That's cool.

  Stones taught me to fly  

  Love taught me to lie  

Thank you.

Thank you.


  Life taught me to die  

  So it's not hard to fall  


  When you float
like a cannonball   

You want to see
my dorm room, maybe?

don't get the wrong idea.

l--l don't invite guys
to my room often.

Or ever, actually.




l'm having a major
college flashback here.

Aw, come on, old man.

My roommate's
out for the night.

Really? She's, oh...

l was really looking forward
to meeting her.

Yeah, she's only
mildly chemically imbalanced.



[door closes]

Yeah, this is awesome.

Yeah, it's okay.

Uh, l heard this rumor

that alcohol
impairs your judgment.

l wish
you weren't
so beautiful.

l'm not.

No, Alex. You are.

Thank you.


  [Spanish song playing]

[lighter clicking]

Well, it looks like
everything's perfect.

So why are you still talking?


Oh, nothing.

l was just thinking
about how my dad said

he put surveillance cameras
in the building.


That's hilarious.

[phone ringing]

Where to now?

You're all going
to the   th floor.

Oh, great.
l hear there's, uh,

fantastic air-conditioning
on that floor.

[phone ringing]

Hey, Dan, how's your commute?

Can you believe
we're moving offices already?

By the way,
first b-ball game against
the   st floor corporate VPs.

So, uh... Oh, weird.
l guess that's this floor now.

What's wrong with you?

Me? Um... Are you...
Nothing. Um, nothing.

You're acting jumpy.

Did you switch from mocha
to crack?

Whoa, Dan. That's, uh...

You're coming off
really paranoid right now.


You're weirding me out,

Crack. That's...

[phone ringing]

  [Ten Years Ahead
by Soundtrack of Our Lives

  Well, it's so good  

  I didn't have to make it  

  It's so good  
Hey, Alex.

Haven't talked to you
in a few days.

lt's your dad, by the way.

Give us a call.

  'Cause I'm ten years ahead  

  And you're the echo
of the things I say  

  Yes, I'm ten years ahead  

You understand
this is totally demoralizing
for me, so...



l don't think
you should force it, honey.

Don't force it.

Don't say it.

  Well, it's no good  

  Revolving around me  

Hey, Alex.

Uh, left a message for you
at the dorm and on your phone.

Guess you have
your cell phone turned off.

Give us a call.

  When you cannot
reach me  

l'm fired?

  'Cause I'm ten years ahead  

  And you're the echo
of the words I say  

l'm sorry.

  Yes, I'm ten years ahead   

But l've worked here
for   years.


lt's been an honor.

[phone ringing]

Okay, you ready?

Will you be okay
with that thing?

Oh, yeah, fine.

Hey, uh,
what's that big guy
doing here?

He's one of the moving men.

Uh, l guess, uh,
Steckle recruited him
for his VP team.

Oh, that's fair.

Wonder if
l can still dunk.

You could dunk?

Oh, yeah.
Can't you? You're   .


Heads up!

Whoa! Hey.

What's up?

Word on the street is,
Teddy K.'s on the prowl.

Soon as he gets back
from his around-the-world
balloon trip,

he's gonna go munch
on Continental Brands.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, great.

Maybe they'll advertise
in the magazine again.

l'm sorry, who are you?

Mark, this is Dan Foreman.

He's the one
l was telling you about,

helped us close
that Toys 'R' Us deal.

Oh, Carter's being modest.

He did most of the work.

That's beautiful.

Maybe you two
should get a room.

You pussies ready
to get schooled?


[whistle blows]

[people cheering]

[man whooping]

[crowd cheers]

[crowd cheering]


[Steckle laughing]


Not in my house!
No, no, no.

Do it, baby. Do it, baby.
lt's for me. For me.

Go ahead, donkey!

You can't guard me.

Get down. Get down there!

Mine. He's mine. Help. Help.


[all cheering]

Let's go! Get down, Jimmy.

Yo, Krouse! Fist! Fist!

That's right! Move!
Come on. Come on.

l'll take the big man.

Hey, ease up, my man.

You're gonna have
a heart attack.

What's the matter?
Can't take a little D?

Open! Get open!

Let's go, Dan! Yes!

Yeah, yeah!
Throw it down!

Dunk it!

[all groaning]

Oh, shit.

[ball bouncing]


l'm okay. l'm okay.


l'll be right back.

Just give me a second.

[Dan groans]


[phone ringing]

This is Alex's cell phone.

Please leave a message.

[phone beeps]

  [Those to Come
by The Shins playing]

  Eyeless in the morning sun  

  You were pale and mild,
a modern girl  

  Taken with thought,
still prone to care  

  Makin' tea
in your underwear  

  You went out in the yard
to find   

What's her name?

Who? What? Who?

The fish.

Oh. Uh, it's a he.
And, uh, his name is Buddy.


Does Buddy want
a friend?

Buddy had a friend.
Um, he ate him. So...


You mind if l,

Sure. Yeah.
You... Yeah.

l want to,
l want to ask you something.


[clears throat]
When, uh...

When you were   

did you ever return
your parents' phone calls?

Uh, well,
they never called.

But, uh, yeah,
l'm sure l would've.

Well, my oldest daughter,
she won't call me back.

And l feel like
going down to NYU
and kidnapping her

so l can stop
worrying about her.


That sounds like
a really bad idea.

Uh, look, Alex seems, um,

from the very brief time
that l met her,

to be pretty savvy.

l don't think you have
to worry about her too much.

She's a smart,
terrific woman.

Girl. Or smart young lady.

What l'm trying to say
is that, uh,

l think she can
probably take care of herself.

Dan, you seem to have
the perfect marriage.

How do you do it?

You just pick the right one
to be in the foxhole with

and then when you're outside
of the foxhole,

you keep your dick
in your pants.

[Carter laughing]

Well, that's poetic.

Oh, my God.
Did she outdo herself or what?

All right. Oh, yeah. Make way.

Coming through
with the cake here.

[all chattering]

  [music playing]

Oh, hey, Theo. How's...

[all chattering]

Hey, uh,
where do l put this?

All right.

lt's a rager, huh?


Are you still glad
you decided not to have
a birthday party?

not in the mood this year.

Well, Mom says
you could use a little fun.

She says
you should lighten up
for the sake of your health.

She does, does she?

They're here. Everybody hide.

You go ahead, sweetheart.

l'm going to
check the mailbox.

Okay. Cool.

[dog barking]

Quiet, he's going to be here
in a second.

[door opening]

[door closes]



[all screaming]


Hey, Morty.

Hey, nice party.

Thanks for coming.

How are you?

Not so good,
not so good.

l mean psychologically.

Oh, l'm sorry.

That's okay.

my wife got a promotion.

l'm hoping
she'll raise my allowance.

But this is good punch.

Happy birthday.
Good party.

[dog barking]

You look--
you look really beautiful.

Thank you.

And, um...

This is really
not a big deal.
But l, uh...

l got something for you.

lt's not my birthday.

Go on.

Holy shit.


Wow! Are these real diamonds?

lt's too expensive.

No. No, don't. No.

l feel funny.

l'm sorry. l don't...
l mean, it's not... l--l...

lt just felt good to...

lt's sweet.

lt's very sweet.
Thank you.

You're the kind of person

that's it's good to be
in a foxhole with.

We're not in a foxhole.
We're in a Porsche.

A sling.


Betsy, l wish you well, too.

[all laughing]

Let's see, what.... Wow.

And this could be what?

[all laughing]

That's good.
Epsom salts.

[all laugh]

Do you like them?

lmported from Jersey.

[people laughing]

Don't tell me
you already have some.

[all laughing]


lt's got that
easy--easy-pour spout
on it, too.

[all laughing]

Special for you.

[all chattering]

[car honks]

[car honking]


She waits.




Sorry l'm late.

Work has been
just nuts.

That's okay.
l have a class at  :  .

[car honking]

Oh, you're...
You're wearing
the necklace.

Yeah. Yeah.
l feel like an impostor.

But it's nice.
An impostor?

No, you look...

Doesn't she look

She does.

Now, we have
three specials today.

Avocado soup
with awapuhi oil,

bluefin tuna with Awapuhi
and jalapeno sashimi.

We have calamari fritti

with Awapuhi oil
on the side.

We also have, uh,
sicafreed lobster tail.

Can l get that
with a side of Awapuhi oil?

May l help you?

Oh, shit.

is there going to be a third?

l have just one question.

Are you sleeping with him?

l'm going to get you folks
some bread.

Uh, Dan,
this isn't what it looks like.

Oh, yeah?
What does it look like?

Tell me.
What do you think
it looks like?

Well, l'm sure it looks like
some kind of sleazy, tawdry...

Alex, l asked you a question.
Are you sleeping with him?

What do you want me to say,


Get up.


Get up.


Pardon me, sir,
but l don't think
you should treat--

Back off,
before l drop-kick you
across this restaurant.

You are a piece of shit!

Dan, l love her.

You what?

l love her.

[Carter panting]

l love you.

You love her?
She's my daughter.

She's in college.
She's a college student.

l took out
a fricking second mortgage
so she could go.

Three years ago
she was in braces.

l'm sorry.

This guy.

You had to sleep with him?

Dad, l...




Dad! Wait, l'm sorry.

This had nothing
to do with you.

He's my boss, Alex.

l know.
But it just happened.

We made a deal,

We made a deal
we'd always be honest
with one another.

Dad, l was like   years old
when we made that deal.

l liked you better then.

That's awful.

That's an awful thing
to say.

Dad, please don't walk away.
l want to talk to you.

You don't need my advice
about anything.

[door opening]

Hey, you.


Hey, Carter.
Wow, that's some shiner.


Maya, could we have
some privacy, please?

Sure. Absolutely.


Sit down.

Hey, can l get you some ice
for that?

Oh, yeah. Thank you.

[clears throat]

Um, there's no ice.

But the soda's cold.

Oh, thanks.

Look, l wanted to apologize,
uh, for my timing when...

Uh, with the ''L'' word.

lt just kind of slipped out.

But l've been thinking
about it a lot lately,

and it's how l feel.
lt's really important to me--

Oh, that's really sweet.

Well, l mean it.

l know
you probably think you do.

But l-l've been doing
a lot of thinking, too,

and l'm

anthropology classes.

And l'm doing a double major.


And l'm just...
l'm really busy.

Uh, l'm just not...

l'm not ready
for a big commitment.

Yes, that's...

That's what l'm saying.


Look, when l said
l loved you,

l didn't mean
that l wanted to
interfere in your classes

or, you know, whatever.

l'm not talking
about marriage
or anything yet.

Carter. Look.

l've had an amazing time
with you,

and l think
you're a great guy.

But you are on the rebound.

No, l'm not.

Carter, you are.

l mean,
it was not that long ago
that your wife left you.

Best thing
that ever happened to me.

Well, that's great.

But then that's a good thing
whether you're with me or not.

l think we should stop
seeing each other.


Alex, come on.

l just want you to know

l enjoyed talking to you
more than

maybe anyone
in my entire life.

Thank you.

Me, too.

[door opening]

where have you been?

Your cell phone was off.

l tried to call you
like a thousand times.

What happened?
Where's your mom?

There you are.

Are you okay?

l'm fine. Yes, l'm fine.

The baby's fine.

l had a little scare.

There was some bleeding.

What? What is it?

A placenta previa.

lt sounds bad,
but, uh, it's okay.


l just need some rest.

lf anything
ever happened to you,
l'd just have to pack it in.

Oh, l'm afraid
you're going to be
stuck with me for a while.

[door opening]


How's she doing?

She's okay.

You know,
l broke up with Carter.

Because of me?

No. Because of me.

l'm sorry l lied to you.

But, you know,
l think you should know

that Carter didn't try
to seduce me
or anything.

lf anything,
it was the other way around.

l really don't want
to hear the details.


l mean,
unless you want to
tell me, and...

No. No, not particularly.



You must think
l'm disgusting.


Why on earth
would l think that?

l didn't know
that you took out
a second mortgage.

l don't need to go to NYU.

SUNY's fine.
lt's fine.

No, no,
you are staying at NYU.

Look, Alex.

You're a really smart woman.

And you can take care
of yourself.

And l'm going to try

and adjust.

You don't have to change,

Yeah. l do.

[computer beeps]

lt's going to be okay.

(Teddy K.)
Hello, how are you? l know.

(Teddy K.)
Tell him not to be late
this time.

(Teddy K.)
Hi, how you doing?
Good to see you.

Hi. Oh, nice brooch.

Thank you, sir.

Must be paying her
too much money.

Mark Steckle.

Ah, Mark Steckle,
how are you?

Very psyched.
How's it going?

Very good.
Good, good.

Right this way.

How you doing?
Nice to see you.

How are you?
Good to see you.

(Teddy K.)
Thank you.

Carter Duryea.

Oh, yes. Cell phones.

Yes. Thank you.

l'm at Sports America now.

Well, that's the flagship.

What happened to your eye?

Yeah, what happened there?

l fell--
l fell asleep at my computer.

Just kind of
banged right into the monitor.

Those things
can be dangerous.

[all laughing]

(Teddy K.)
Keep up the good work.

l wouldn't be surprised

if he announces
another big takeover today.

Teddy K.!

(Teddy K.)
Great to see you. Thank you.

(Teddy K.)
Thank you.

Synergy. What does it mean?

(Teddy K.)
Why does a business
swim with it

and sink without it,

in this new ocean
of megabytes,

streaming video
and satellites?

Every day,

the world becomes
more complex.

And to survive
in a complex world,

we need complex bonds
to interface with it.

ln this room,

l see this.

What we're trying to get to,
is this.

(Teddy K.)
This is unbreakable.

This is inevitable.

(Teddy K.)
What are we building here?
ls it a company?

Or are we building
a new country
with no national boundaries?

A new democracy
for the consumer.

A new democracy
with a new electorate.

  -hour music videos
in Kuala Lumpur.

Computers with parts
manufactured in Japan,

Greenland, ldaho, lndia.

A soft drink ad
going out simultaneously

to seven different continents.

The Dalai Llama
eating his Krispity Krunch

while uploading prayers
onto the Net.

Woman's World magazine.

Well, why not
Woman's World Channel
across the world?


Why not a computer section
in Sports America magazine?


Uh, excuse me.
Excuse me.


Uh, uh...

Uh, my name is, uh, uh,
Dan Foreman. l...

l work for Sports America
and l'm not sure

l--l understand
what you're talking about.

W-what l mean is--is

what do computers have to do
with sports?

Are you...
Are--are you literally saying

that there should be
a section in the magazine

about computers?

Who's going to want to
read that?


[clears throat]
And, uh...


l-l'm not sure
l understand

how the way
the world is changing

is actually going to change
how we do business.

We're still selling
a product, right?

Which hopefully
someone needs.

We're human beings
with other human beings
for customers.

So l don't see how
this company is like
its own country.

l mean,
just because we sell
different kinds of things,

that doesn't mean
we should operate
by our own laws, does it?

Besides which, countries,
at least democratic ones,

they have some obligation
to their citizens,
don't they?

So how do layoffs

and bottom line thinking
fit into that?

Dan Foreman.

Sports America.

You ask
some excellent questions.

excellent questions.

l'm glad you asked them.

And l'm leaving it to you,

to all of you,
to answer them.


Teddy K.!

Teddy K.! Teddy K.!

Oh, my God, Dan.
Oh, my God.

Good, you're both in here.

l'll talk to in a second.

You, have you lost
your frigging mind?

Well, he said
they were excellent questions.

you think this is funny.

You think it's funny
to disrespect a great man.

Do you know
who you were just talking to
in there?

That was Teddy K.!
Teddy K., God damn it!

we've been carrying

your fat, bloated salary
for way too long.

l want you
out of this building

within the next

l'm going to my office.

l'm going to smoke
a nice Cuban cigar

and try to forget
that you ever existed.

You, in my office now.

Mark, don't do that.

Excuse me?


The guy busts his ass and--

And what?

Nothing. l'm sorry.

l just... lf you fire him,

you're going to have to
fire me, too.


Let me get something
straight here.

You're throwing yourself in
with him?

With this useless,
over-the-hill loser?

Think here.
Think about what you're doing,

because if you're not careful,
you could end up like him.

l guess that
that would be okay.

All right.

Then you're fired, too,
you little shit.

Well, that's too bad,

'cause, uh, you're gonna lose
a huge account that
Dan and l've been working on.

lt was gonna save
the year for us.

Without it,
the magazine's
pretty deep in the red.

Really? What account is that?

You think
we'd actually tell you?

You're bluffing.

l don't bluff.

l'm not
that good of a salesman.

Yeah, well,
l don't give a crap.

l think Teddy K. will.

See, l'm gonna call him
and l'm gonna tell him

that you single-handedly drove
his most profitable magazine,

his flagship,
right into the ground.

And he'll remember my name.

He likes
what l did with cell phones.

You've got    hours,
or you're both gone.


Any ideas?


You got
all your research?


Follow my lead.

So, um,
how are your daughters?

They're great. Thanks.

How about
your grandkids?

Uh, they're fine.

My son-in-law
has just enrolled our oldest,

in a computer camp,
whatever the hell that is.

Uh, this is my boss,
Carter Duryea.

lt's a pleasure to meet you,
Mr. Kalb.

You have
a really awesome company

lt's a really awesome,

Your boss?
He looks more like
your nephew.

Well, l've, uh, certainly been
learning a lot from Dan.

So what happened to your eye?

That's one of the things
he learned from me.

Are you saying
that you punched him
in the eye? Why?

Well, it's...
We don't have to
really go into it here.

No, no, no, please, please.
l'm--l'm--l'm rather curious.

Why did l hit you?

He called me
a dinosaur.

He said
l was out of date.

That l'd better
step in line.

So you slugged him?

lt was a fair fight.


Mr. Kalb,
we have a sister company,
Krispity Krunch,

that l think we could do
a really exciting
cross-promotion with here,

all in the GlobeCom family.
Carter, Carter.

l think that we
could achieve--

Carter, it's ok.
Mr. Kalb,

l don't want get into facts
and figures with you today.
You know them already.

l just want to ask you
one question.

What is your hesitation

about advertising
with Sports America magazine?

My hesitation is
that our ad budget
is already overextended.

My son-in-law has put
a lot of money
into cable and online.

And now he wants to plow
even more money back into it.

But what?

But he is such an asshole!

l mean,
l built this business.

l know more about running this
than he ever will.

So, yeah.
l'm gonna make a major ad buy
in your magazine.

And then l'm gonna restructure
the whole damn ad campaign.

That is great news.
Thank you, Mr. Kalb.

Oh. Thank... Yes.
Thank you so much, sir.

You know, l don't give a shit
about Krispity Krunch.

Let's just stick
with the magazine, okay?

You really slugged him?

Yeah. Carter.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, that was amazing.

That was unbelievable!

that was actually fun.

What Kalb
really needed to see

was an old fart
who beat the crap out of
a young punk half his age.

And you know
what the best thing is?

lt's the right thing to do.

lt will improve
his business.

Wow, you actually, uh...

You actually
believe in this stuff, huh?

Of course l do.

Why else would l do it?

[elevator bell dings]

Hey, Dan. Where you been?

Los Angeles.

We made
a huge sale.

So did Teddy K.

He sold the company
to CalCor Communications.

Mark! What happened?

l thought you said
Teddy K. was buying
another company.

That's what they told me,
but he sold us.

l'm out.

Wait, you're out?

They're reorganizing
the whole company.

You're out, too.
l think you're in.

l'm in what?

Your old job.

Running the department?

That's the rumor.

The whole thing
seems so arbitrary.

l feel used.


Kind of tough to know
you're replaceable, huh?

[clears throat]
l'm--l'm sorry
you lost your jobs.

  [Solsbury Hill
by Peter Gabriel playing]

  Came in close,
I heard a voice  

  Standing stretching
every nerve  

  I had to listen,
had no choice  

  I did not believe
the information  

  Just had to
trust imagination  

  My heart was going
boom, boom, boom  

  Son, he said  

  Grab your things,
I've come to take you home  

[elevator bell dings]

  Yeah, back home   

[phone ringing]

Hey, Dan.

Hey, Carter.
Come on in.

Have a seat.

Nice office.


[door closes]



How have you been
the last month?

l've been good.
Really good.

lt's a little weird, uh,
not having to get up,

go to work in the morning.

That's why
l want to talk to you.

l want to offer you a job.

l know
we definitely had our moments.

But l think
you're a good manager
and a good salesman.

And l want you to come here
and be my second-in-command.

Wow, Dan.

Uh, l...
l really appreciate that.

Uh, more than you know.
And l...

l think
if l really want to do this
for a living,

there's no one
l could learn from
more than you. But l...

Look, l don't know what
l want to do with my life.

l know that l want it
to mean something to me

the way that
this means something to you.


do you think l'm being stupid?

No. No. l...

l think that sounds right.

So how's the family?

Uh, Ann's fine.

Uh, the baby's coming
Tuesday after next Tuesday.

lt's a... lt's a cesarean.

Dan, that's amazing.

Yeah, it is.

And, uh,
both girls are...

They're doing well.


Please, uh,
give them all my best.




Thank you.

For what?


l guess
for showing me a few things.

No one ever really
took the time to

give me a hard time before.

Or teach me anything
that was

actually worth learning.

[clears throat]

All right.

Now listen, Carter.

l want to tell you something.

You're going to be okay.

You think so?

Yeah. l know it.

You're a good man.



Don't be a stranger.

[elevator bell dings]


You're back!

Yeah, back in the saddle.

And look at you.

You look like
a delivery guy.

Oh, do you know
Dan's daughter Alex?

What are you doing here?

l'm surprising my dad.

Alex is
a fantastic tennis player.

She was a junior champ, right?

Really? Oh, you're into...
You're into tennis, huh?


How is everything?

Good. Really...

Really good.

Um, l'm leaving town,

l think
l'm going to try teaching

or, um,
maybe open an Awapuhi store.

l don't know. Uh...

How are you doing?

Good. Very good.

l've been working on
some short stories.

Oh. That's awesome.

Well, l got a raise.
Dan got me a raise.

Which is a good thing,
because my wife
just got laid off.

Timing's everything in life,

[elevator bell dings]

Well, good seeing you.
Take care, Carter.

Look, it was really great
seeing both you guys.

You, too, Carter. lt was...

lt was really good to see you.


Hi, guys.



Wel, l'm delighted to say

that you have a baby sister.


Are you happy, Dad?

Yeah, l'm psyched.

[cell phone rings]

Hello. Dan! Hey.

Oh, my God. Congratulations.
lt's amazing.

Do you have a name yet?

Oh, no, that's terrific.

probably because l'm jogging.

No, l'm outside.

l'm actually jogging outside.

Playa del Rey. Don't laugh.

  Remember me  

l'm thinking about
getting into...


  By the rose bush  

  Laughing with roses
on my chin  

  The time when  

  we counted every black car  

  passing your house
beneath the hill  

  and up until  

  someone caught us
in the kitchen  

  with knives  

  A mountain range  

  A piggy bank  

  A vision to removed
to mention  

  But, please,
remember me  


  I heard from someone
you're still pretty  

  And then  

  they went on to say  

  that the pearly gates  

  are so eloquently repeated  

  Like words
I've lost and found  

  And don't look down  

  And someone
save temptation  

  And, please  

  remember me silently  

  In the car
behind the corner  

  you hold my hand  

  between your knees  

  You turn from me  

  Said the trapeze,
it was wonderful  

  But never
meant to last  

  The clouds
have passed  

  So we just come up
with anger  

  And then  

  The circus moved  

  The parking lot  

  Hiding out,
a hint of danger  

  So, please, remember me  


  You're my uphill crawl,
my dear  

  But if I make  

  the pearly gates  

  Do my best
to make a drawing of God  

  And Lucifer  

  A boy and girl  

  An angel kissin'
on a silkscreen of Mars  

  The aftermath  

  A marching band  

  All around the fray
just trapeze swinging   

Special help by SergeiK