In Her Shoes Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the In Her Shoes script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Jennifer Weiner novel with Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of In Her Shoes. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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In Her Shoes Script





Your 10-year high school reunion.



Oh, everybody wants to make a good impression,

and I was making mine on...



Ted? Tad? Whatever.



I know, not exactly

Most Likely to Succeed...



but it's not like I had

a law degree to brag about...



or a Rittenhouse Square apartment,

or a fancyjob.



- Oh.

- Or a job, period.



- Man.

- Is that it?



Yes, baby, that's-that's it.



There are women... thinner women...



who have lace bras, silk thongs...



things designed to excite a man.



A thong would look ridiculous on me.



I wear cotton briefs.



My life is about working long hours...



planning trips I never take...



and settling for love found

on the pages of romance novels.



And because things like this

never happen to me...



the lawyer in me wants proof.



Hold on.



Is this Rose Feller?



Who is this?



My name's Todd.

I'm here with your sister.



Things like this,

on the other hand, happen all the time.



Those are my shoes.



You know, it is actually possible

to attend a reunion...



and not wind up passed out

on the bathroom floor.




It wants its hair scrunchie back.



How are the fashionable girls

wearing their hair these days...



when they pick up their drunk sisters

in the middle of the night?



Is that even a dress?



Just drive.



- Shit.



You're drunk!



Shh. Don't let Sydelle know.






I was very clear.



You can only stay here

if there was none of your nonsense.



- Excuse me. I'm gonna go to bed.

- And throw up all over my white carpets?



Absolutely not.

Take your things and go.



Where is she supposed to go?



- I don't care. Take her home with you.

- No way.



- I don't care. Take her home with you.

- No way.



Gee, you two really know

how to make a girl feel special.



- I want to talk to Dad about this.

- Your father's asleep.



My Marcia and her husband are coming

for brunch tomorrow. He needs his rest.



I'm sure if he were given the choice of resting

up for your child or talking to his own...



he'd choose me.



Did you just raise your eyebrow?



I can't tell. It doesn't...



It doesn't move anymore.



"My Marcia's coming for brunch."



To stuff her anorexic face.



What... is... this?



Rose Feller!



- Is there a man in this house?

- Shh!



- A human man?

- Shh, Maggie!



- No, give me that!



- No! Ooh!

- Maggie! Maggie!



He's cute. Who is he?



- None of your business.



Well, I, for one...



Am shocked...



and appalled.



Shh! Don't, Maggie. Shut up.



Life doesn't have

to be this hard, Mag.



If you just prepared a little, you know,

maybe went back to school?



Oh, right.

'Cause that worked so well the first time.



I mean the literacy place.



Retard "U."



- If you just went back, finished up there...

- Right.



Maybe it'll help you

figure out what you're good at.



I know what I'm good at.



- Besides that.

- Oh.



You have so much potential.



You do realize I'm drunk, don't you?



Remember Honey Bun?



How long did we have him for?



A day.



That was a good day.



- Good morning...



- Hi.

- Hi.



- Is that English?

- Jim.



This is my sister, Maggie.



Shejust dropped by last night to visit.






- Good morning.

- Good morning!



- I'm sorry about that.

- It's not a problem.



I could've sworn I had some   s here.






Where does she get the time

to do this?






I love you.



All right, Rose. What do you got?



Oh, shit!



There's a man in this picture?



Oh, shut up!

I had technical difficulties.



- Who's next?

- Trust me. Look, he's gorgeous.



- Thank you.

- And smart and totally... smoldering.



- Can you make that a full pound

of the hot sopresata?

- You got it.



Office romances can go very bad.



Well, they can also go very good.



You know,   % of married women

met their husbands at work.



- Where did you get that statistic?

- Made it up.



All extracurricular activity happens

off-campus... his place or yours.



No, his. Mine's a little crowded

these days. Maggie.



- No!

- Just till she finds a job.



You say that like that's something

she's remotely capable of.



Why do you let her do this to you?



Because... she's my sister.



All right. What's your name?



Maggie May Feller. What's yours?



Some of you who had plans for the weekend

are, unfortunately, going to have to cancel.



The settlement discussions for the Donaldson

case have broken down completely...



so we'll need to start

gearing up for trial.



Simon, you should put together

a deposition schedule today.



And, Ellen, you should start drafting

a summary judgment motion.



I'll need to see that before we file it,

so you'll need to get it to me by Thursday, okay?



Let's get to it.



Listen, uh,

I'm supposed to go to Chicago...



to do some recruiting interviews

next weekend, but it's my kid's birthday.



- Can you go for me?

- Chicago?



- Yeah.

- It's cold there.



- Aw, come on. I promised I'd be the clown.

- I don't know.



If I could drag an associate along to help

with interviews so I don't fall behind.



Uh, Feller?



- Any interest? Chicago?

- Oh, gee, I don't know.



I mean, like you said,

it's... pretty cold there.



- Buy some mittens.



Rose. Your sister.



Guess who's in New York waiting for

her callback to be the next MTVveejay?



Well, uh...



Out of curiosity, um, how much

did it cost you to get up there?



Who cares? I'll make it back.



Oh, right, when MTV hires you

and makes you a great big star.



Would it kill you to be supportive?



I mean, would that just send you

into "anaphallic" shock or something?



Anaphylactic, Maggie, not "anaphallic."



- Maggie May Feller!



I have to go. That's me.



- You're next.

- Excuse me.



- Welcome back, Maggie May.

- Thank you. It's good to be back.



Now, you see the screen

with the words on it?



Just read what it says...



andjust... look into the camera...



and give it that... that personality.



Just let it shine through.



Okay, whenever you're ready.



"It's Friday afternoon on"...Oh.



- Okay. Let's try again.



- Okay.

- Just relax.



"It's Friday afternoon on TRL and"...



Take it back.



"It's Friday afternoon

on TRL and later today"...



You okay, Maggie May?






Well? Are you famous yet?



Aposition in retail.



Employment history?



What was your last job?



- LuckyJeans for three weeks.

- Why'd it end?



Some crazy bitch with a coupon.



The coupon says   %!

  % of the total!



  % of   ! Do the math!

What's your problem?



Okay, well, if anyone asks, just...



say it wasn't challenging enough.



And before that was the restaurant, right?

The Canal House?



- And before that?



Before that? The Gap.



Before that? The Limited.



Wanamaker's Fragrance,

Wanamaker's Accessories.



Oh, come on. You really don't

want to do this right now, do you?



No, but I also don't want you

on my couch for the next three months.



I'll let you do my résumé

if you let me do your makeup.



- Forget it.

- Why?



I don't know... at some point today,

I have to face the world...



and I'd rather not do it

looking like a $   hooker.



Oh, come on. I promise you'll

still look like you, just better.



Let's go pick out an outfit

for inspiration. Shoes.



- I don't have...

- Shoes!



You know...



you don't even wear most of these.



Shoes like these should not

be locked in a closet.



They should be living

a life of scandal and passion...



getting screwed in an alleyway by a billionaire

while his frigid wife waits in the limo...



thinking that he just went back into the bar

to get his cell phone.



- These are cute too.

- Please tell me you just made that up.



Look, if you're not gonna wear them,

don't buy them.



Leave them for somebody who's

gonna get something out of them.



I get something out of them.



When I feel bad,

I like to treat myself.



Clothes never look any good.



Food just makes me fatter.



Shoes always fit.



- Don't slouch.

- Something for you ladies?



I think we're gonna

just take a minute. Thanks.



- I thought I was getting a drink out of this.

- Patience.



Eww! Maggie, no.



How would you ladies like

to join us for something wet?



- What is that?

- It's a vagina.



You know what? Sydelle's right.

You're completely obscene.



Why, because I say "vagina"?




I don't know what's wrong with your girls.



My Marcia never uses the word 'vagina'!"



Oh, no, my Marcia

doesn't even have a vagina!



Oh, my Marcia has a vagina,

all right...



but my Marcia's vagina is made

of solid   -karat gold.



My Marcia's vagina is so perfect,

it's in a museum!



What can I get you girls?



We'll have two stacks

of whole wheat honey pancakes...



and a side ofbacon, please.



- Thank you.

- Thank you very much.



Oh, and, uh, are you hiring?



I'll bring an application.



My Marcia never eats pancakes.



That's why my Marcia

still wears a m...






I can't believe you just did that.



Did what?



"Are you hiring?"



God, Rose,

we were having fun for once.



- It's an opportunity.

- To do what?



To work the graveyard shift serving pancakes

to cops and whores and drunks.



I think you should work, so you don't

have to mooch off me for everything.



What are you talking about?

I just got us two rounds of drinks.



No. Cuervo Carl got the drinks, and only

because he hoped you'd sleep with him.



Well, I didn't.



You need a job, Maggie.



There's a whole world

of commerce out there...



that has nothing to do with sex.



Where people actually make money

without seducing anyone.



Obviously, or you'd starve.



You're not gonna look

like this forever, you know.



Eventually you'll be older...



and then all the men who foot your bill now

will be buying drinks for girls half your age.



And what are you gonna do then?



Well, you better think of something...



'cause middle-aged tramps aren't cute.



They're pathetic.



- Fine.

- What are you doing?



Sit down, Mag. Mag.



Your car's here, Miss Feller.



Thank you.






Danvers got busy.

He sent me instead.



Almond croissant? Still warm.



Hi. I was, uh, wondering

if you guys are hiring?












- You know about anal glands?

- What?



- Squeeze.

- Eww.



- Oh, you get used to it. Grab yourself an apron.

- We got all sizes.






Hello, Sydelle.



No, I can't come right now.



Look, I'll get there when I get there, okay?

Thank you.






You can put it all in the basement.



I need this space. I'm converting it

to a nursery for my Marcia's baby.



- She's pregnant?

- She will be very soon.



- Maggie!

- Hey, Daddy!



- Yeah, hi, baby.

- Hi.



I thought I heard your voice.

What brings you here?



- I'm being evicted.

- Are you gonna wear that, Michael?



Because if you're not, you should go change.

We're already late.



Mustn't be late.



- Stick around, Maggie, have dinner with us.

- Mmm, tempting.



- Yeah.



Well... Oh, try not

to burn the house down.



Don't look at me like that, my Marcia.






Mike, how do you stop

loving somebody when...



- They've stopped loving you?



We are within walking distance to three

of the best restaurants in the city.



- I've already eaten.

- Yeah.



Grease is not a food group, Feller.



- Bon appetit.

- Will you stay with me?



Okay, I'm not gonna start

with your butt first, okay?



I'm gonna wait for us to get

to know each other a little better.



- All right. Here you go.






Oh! Shit.



Here we go, sweetie.



Oh, God.



No! Truce.



Damn it!



- They got you too, huh?

- What?



They tow on Saturdays.



Great. Do you know

where they take the cars?



Uh, yeah, it's this impound lot

down on South Street.



I'm parked around the corner.

I'm taking him. We'd be glad to take you too.



- Yeah.

- If you want.



Yeah, that would be great.



Uh, you know, are we...

I mean, are we... are we in a rush?



'Cause I could stand going for a drink.



- Sure.

- All right. All right. Cool.



- There it is. What's your name?

- Maggie.



- Hey. Grant. Nice to meet you.

- Hey, I'm Tim.



- Hi. Nice to meet you.

- Nice way to end your day.



Yeah. My sister would kill me

if she knew I got her car towed.



Where is this place?



We're almost there.



We're in like Flynn.



All right, go ahead.



- There it is.

- All right, let's go.



- All right.

- All right. Thanks.



- All right.

- So, thanks for the ride.



Thanks for the drinks and the fun,

and, uh, we'll see you guys later.



Well... I mean, wait, wait.

Hang on, hang on.



Maybe we can go do something.



- You know, it's early still.

- No, I'm okay, actually. I'm just gonna go.



Yeah, but you can't just take the car.

You got to pay for it.



- Let me go!

- What are you doing? Hey, wait up! Wait!



- Grant! Leave it alone!



- Ow! God!






What the hell is that?



It's Honey Bun Two.



You bought a dog.



No, I borrowed him.



I didn't want to be alone last night.



I had... I had a bad night.



So did I, Maggie, several of them...



but you don't see me stealing dogs.



I was scared.

There were these guys and...



- Of course there were.

- And I got home, and you were gone. L...



My plane was late.

I have to be in court in    minutes.



I missed two days of work for nothing,

which means I'm gonna have to work forever.



And now I'm getting a cold...



so I don't have room in my head

for your problems right now.



Just have my sheets cleaned

and the dog out...



by the time I get home.



My car has a boot on it!



How the hell did my car

get a boot on it?



Oh, I was trying to tell you.

L-I used it the other day...



Five years I've had that car,

not one ticket.



You use it... without permission...

for two days.



- Melanie Dillon.

- Melanie, it's me.



- Hi, Rose.

- There's an emergency,

and I can't make it to court.



- Can you send someone to cover for me?

- Got it.



Thank you.



You ruin everything.



I can't take this anymore, Maggie.

I can't.



I want you out.



Now. Today,

before I get home from work.



- Where am I supposed to go?

- That is not my problem!



You are your problem!

You figure it out!



- How was Chicago?

- Cold.



Sorry I couldn't swing it.



- Things were kind of crazy around here.

- Yeah, I know.



I work here too.



You know, Jim...



if you say you're gonna be in Chicago,

you should be in Chicago.



And if you can't make it, if you know you're

gonna send Simon Stein in your place...



then pick up the goddamn phone.






It's okay, Honey Bun. Shh.



Is... Rose here?






- Oh!



Rose. Rose.



I liked you. I really liked you.



She won't even remember your name.



In fact, she can't even spell it.



Can you, Mag? Want to give it a try?

Come on, sound it out.



Ji... immm.






Pretty, but real stupid.



Shut up, you fat pig!



Did you honestly just say "fat pig"?



You are my sister...



and the best you can do is "fat pig"?



Get out of my life!






Is there anything I can do?



I want     bucks.



That's the going rate, isn't it?



When's your next train to New York?



  :  .



Mrs. Lefkowitz?



All right already!



Oh, sorry.

I thought it was my son.



- I'll get my list.

- Okay.



I didn't know your son was here.

That's wonderful.



Yeah, well,

he said he wants to see me.



And where is he now?

He's on the beach, looking at bosoms.



Hey, Lewis, what's the matter?



You look like you just had a stroke.



- Hi, Mrs. Lefkowitz. Hi, Ella. I didn't see you.

- Hello.



- She's invisible.

- You look confused.



Well, who needs all these choices?

It's soap.



I say, when in doubt,

go for the simplest box.



Ah. You know, Sharla taught me

almost everything.



Cooking, dishes,

how to use a cell phone.



Never got around to the laundry.



You must miss her.



Every day. You?



Well, I didn't know your wife,

so, no, I can't say that I do.



Oh, finally,

a date with Lewis Feldman.



What do you mean?



He's had his eye on you

since he got here.



- That's ridiculous. He has not.



Anyway, it's not a date.

I'm just helping him with his laundry.



Why? What do you think dates look

like around here, bungee jumping?



Believe me, it's a date.



At least she's gone.



Where'd she go to anyway?



I don't know. My dad's, I guess.



Well, that's good. Gives Sydelle

one more thing to complain about.



Which one are you crying about...



the predatory prick

or the shit-for-brains tramp?



'Cause neither one deserves your tears.



You know, Amy...



I'm sure you're right...



But sometimes I wish you'd just say...



"Boy, that sucks...



and I'm really sorry

it happened to you."



- Do you have them for every high holiday?

- Yeah.



The Passover one says,

"What makes this tuchis unlike any other?"



- My son, the joker.



Thinks it makes up for the fact

that I don't see him on the holidays.



- They go to her parents.

- Well, at least he's married.



- My son...    still single.

- Gay?



I wish. Immature.



Ella, tell me about your family.



Well, my husband Ira

was in real estate.



Died three years ago. Cancer.



- That's funny?



No, it's the way we do that...

the dead spouse intro.



Name, rank, when did he die, how.



But not the specifics.



Cancer's okay,

but no one ever says "lung cancer."



Or, God forbid, "prostate cancer."



How 'bout you? Have any kids?






No, I don't have any children.



- Rufus? Is that Rufus?



Uh, is Shirley back

from Europe already?



Ooh, I thought she... I thought she

was boarding Rufus for another month.



She is. Yeah.



I just... walk... Rufus.



- Oh, you're with the Elegant Paw.

- No. No, I'm...



- Hi, Carol.

- Hey, Carol.



- Hi.

- Good girl, Molly.



- I'm... freelance. A... freelance dog-walker.

- Oh, I see.



Yeah, I work for kennels,

with kennels, and, uh...



with... for individuals... too.



- She's just what we need.

- Absolutely.



- How much do you charge?



Jesus! You saved my ass.



- Where did you find him?

- Oh, just... wandering around Rittenhouse.



You know, I give this girl a job.

She seems normal.



Next thing I know,

she's taken off with this dog.



You can imagine, something like this gets out,

and I'm out of business.



So, how does     sound for a reward?

Fair enough?



- I don't want a reward.

- What are you, a saint?






Uh, I was thinking...

maybe instead of a reward...



you could offer your clients

my dog-walking services.






We could split the proceeds.



- Not so much as the Winnebago he left her.



- Oh, it's horrible!



You won't be laughing when

you're eating government cheese.






- Hello?

- Is this Ella Hirsch?



Yes, it is.



Did you have a daughter named Caroline?






So, are you on vacation, or...






Well, we've been

having wonderful weather.



I'm so glad you called.



I'm so glad you're here.



Mrs. Lefkowitz, this is

my granddaughter Maggie Feller.



- Hello.

- Hi.



Well, you must be starving.

I can, uh, fix you something to eat...



No, that's... I'm fine.



I just, uh...



- I'm really tired.

- Oh. Well, let me show you the guest room.



Um, it's right through here.

Uh, this is the bathroom.



And I'll put out clean towels

and, uh, a washcloth.



The bed's made up...



and there are, um,

extra blankets in the closet.



- Is my grandfather around?

- Oh. No.



No, Ira passed away

over three years ago.



So, you'll call me

if you need anything?






Hey, you said you didn't have children.



I said I don't have children.



I had a daughter.



Her name was Caroline.

She died.



What was she like?



Well, she was...

she was exactly like that.



Same eyes, same skin...



same face... identical.



But she had, um, health problems.



- She had mental health problems.

- Tsk.



Well, how'd she die?



Car accident.



A leave of absence? Why?



I'm just...

I'm not happy at that firm.



So instead you'll be walking dogs.



And running errands, and...

I think it'll be fun.



Are you okay?



You're not having...



- What?



If you ever want to talk to someone,

Rose, I'll pay for it.



No questions asked.

If you're ever feeling...






I'm not the one

you should be worried about.



How is Maggie?



- You haven't seen her?

- No, she's still with you, isn't she?



Oh, yeah, she is. She's fine.



- Thanks for the coffee.

- All right. See you soon?






The number

you have called is no longer in service.



If you feel you have reached

this recording...



Well, good morning.



Did you sleep well?



Fine, thanks.



I have English muffins here.

I can make you any kind of eggs you'd like.



- I don't eat breakfast.

- Oh.



I drink coffee.



So, my goodness. This is a surprise.



Such a lovely surprise.



After all this time.



- Yeah, what's up with that?

- I beg your pardon?



Well, were you always out of the picture,

or just after Mom died?



Oh, your grandfather and I were never out

of the... I mean, we were always there.






And even after your mom died, I wrote.



Birthday cards, every year.

And I never heard back.



Yeah, I know. You wrote

for a while. I just found them.



What do you mean, "just"?



I guess they got waylaid.

Thanks for the money.



You're telling me that your father

never gave you my cards?



What must you have thought?



I thought you both were dead.



Does this place have a pool?



Oh! Sorry.



Come on.



- Hey, check this out.






Where'd she come from?



Hi, sweetheart.



Come on, come on.



Come on. Keep playing.



Rose! Rose Feller!



Oh, Stein.



How are you?



Man, you look great.

Not sick at all.



Why would I look sick?






- That's one of the rumors.

- There are rumors?



How 'bout that? Lunchtime.



- Hey, how does, uh... How does Japanese sound?

- I'm not hungry, Stein.



Oh, there's no such thing

as not hungry for sushi. Come on.



We'll bill it to one of your old clients.



Uh, thank you.

You eat everything?



- What do you think?

- Okay.



Two orders of uni, one masago.



- Two tako.

- Okay.



Two hamachi.



Then also that cod thing. It was a special

once, but it's not on the menu anymore.



- You know what I'm talking about.

- Tara.



- Yes!

- Okay. Thank you.



- Okay, thank you.

- Thanks.



- You just ordered for me.

- Yes.



- What am I,   ?

- Uh, I'm an expert orderer.



- It's a gift.

- Is it?






What was the last

great restaurant you went to?



- I took my sister to Le Bec Fin.

- Uh-huh.



And you both got the... snapper,




Close. I got the snapper.



- She got three rum and Cokes

and the sommelier's phone number.

- Okay.



Well, I'll take you there,

and we'll get...



the foie gras

with Roquefort-stuffed fig...



Scottish wood pigeon with cabbage...



and porcini cassoulet.



And the chocolate mousse...



with raspberries

and hazelnut macaroon.



You'll want to eat with me

for the rest of your life.



- Ah.

- Here you go.



- Mmm.

- I know.



- The special, tara.

- Thank you.







What are the other rumors?



Ah. Um...



Rumor one: Mysterious illness.



Rumor two: Head-hunted

by Pepper and Hamilton.



Here. Try some of this.



- Rumor three?

- Um, soy?



Oh, come on.

What's rumor three?



Affair with a partner gone bad.



Don't worry.



Most people are betting on lupus.




Wasabi makes everything better.



- So, uh, what time Friday?

- Friday?






Oh, look, Simon, this was... this was

really nice, but, um, I don't think...



 :   it is.



Thank you.



Mmm. That smells good.

What is that?



That's braised veal.



- Shit.



There's a paper towel on the counter.



Out of curiosity...



how long is this vacation of yours

going to last?



How come you don't have

any pictures of my mom around?



Don't you like thinking about her?



I don't need to have a picture

to think about my daughter.



You put out pictures,

people ask questions.



They expect you to tell 'em everything,

and I don't do that.



'Cause Mom was sick?



Because she's gone.



Is that why you pulled away from us?



So that you didn't have to talk

about her with us either?



I didn't pull away. I was pushed.



No, listen.



I'm not the one who didn't pass along

the letters. That was your father.



I'm not the one

who didn't want a relationship.



He said that? "I don't want you to have

a relationship with my daughters."



- Oh, yes.

- When?



- At the funeral.

- Why? Why would he say that?



Because he's irrational. Yeah.

He blamed me for everything.



Every bad day, every bad episode.



He did not want me near her.



And after she was gone...



he didn't want me near you

or your sister.



I just wonder...



If you had tried harder,

you know, or, like, tried again...



after he'd gotten over the whole...



shock and grief of it, you know?



'Cause it would have been nice

having a grandmother.



Nice and...



maybe a little less lonely.



She sounds like a manipulative

little nincompoop.



- The girl lost her mother.

- So? You lost your daughter.



- It's not the same.

- It's worse.



A parent burying a child

goes against the law of nature.



Well, so does a grandparent

abandoning her grandchildren.



You said yourself

he didn't want you around.



What were you supposed to do,

break down the door?









For Caroline, yes.



For Caroline.

She was gone, cookie.



And you pushing your way into that house

wasn't gonna do a thing for her.



- She wanted me there.

- You don't know that.



- Yes, I do. I know.

- How?



I just do.






I've never told anybody this,

not even Ira.



I'll take it to my grave,

probably tomorrow.



It wasn't a car accident.



I mean, eh... it... it was a car...



and there was a crash, but...



How do you know it was on purpose?



She wrote a note.



It came the day after the funeral.



What'd it say?



One line.



"Please take care of my girls."



- And you didn't.

- Mm-mmm.



You didn't because you couldn't.



Now you can, so you will.



Ella, bubbeleh, you did the best

you could in a very bad situation.



You got nothing to feel guilty about.



And you tell that

to Miss Hotsy-Totsy Pants.



So this is where all my boyfriends

have been coming from.



They took a vote. I don't know who

I pissed off, but somehow... I lost.



Or won. Either way, it's official.



I am the captain of the softball team.






Look, I know this isn't my business,

but I can't not say anything.



You have rights, legal options

for getting your job back.



I don't want it back.



You don't?



I thought you loved it.



You were always the first one there in the morning

and the last one to leave at night.



I know. Not because I loved it.



Then why?



I don't know.



Maybe... I was scared of what

would happen if I wasn't there.



Oh, what? Like the place

would fall apart without you?



- With law freaks like you there? Never.



No, I wasn't worried about the office.



I guess it was more... me...



and what would happen to me

without those people to please...



and those tasks to get done.



Like... maybe... those were

the things holding me together.



And without them, I'd...



fall apart.



But you didn't.



I guess not.



So what does hold you together?



For me, it's the law, politics...



the Sixers and good food.



If you ever want to join me

for a game or a meal...



I hope you'll give me a call.






Oh. I was just looking for...



For what?



Sorry, l...



Wrong dresser.

It's in the sock drawer.



What is?



My cash. That's what you were looking for,

right? That's what you want.



No. God.



Oh, well.



I guess after being absent

for some   -odd years or so...



I can't expect you to want

to have a relationship with me.



- How much?

- How much what?



Money, Maggie. How much money

were you hoping to get from me?



- I don't know.

- Yes, you do.



I want to go to New York.



Maybe... act.

I think I'd be good at it.






- How much do you need?

- Three grand.



That you would not have found

in the sock drawer.



How much do you have?






I won't give you $    

but I'll do this.



They need help over

at the Assisted Living Center.



You get that job, stop loafing around

here like some princess...



and I will match what you earn,

penny for penny.



You would do that?






Because I'm your grandmother.



Oh, I don't think so.



Last time I ran anywhere was to my wedding.

Look what happened.



- Is that Corinne?

- No.



- Who is it?

- Maggie.



Have we met before?



There's a pick-up line

with a little dust on it.



Fine. What's your sign?



I've been out of the game for a while.



What, like       years?



Give or take.



Where's Corinne?

She's my number-one girl.



Well, excuse me, but what does

Corinne have that I don't?



- She reads to me.

- Oh.



You could do it, maybe nose her

out of first position.






I'm a little busy right now.



Maybe you should wait for Corinne.



- Hello?

- Are the Sixers basketball or hockey?



- Hello?

- Are the Sixers basketball or hockey?



Come on, Eric!



Yeah, baby! Yeah, baby!



That's what I'm talkin' about.

Get back, get back!



That's Reggie Miller!

You gotta get him!



- He'll make it every time.



Boo! That's right.



- Boo!

- Good.



I can't believe we lost the game.



- Why can't you believe it?

We've been losin' all season long.

- That's right.



We need a three-point man, a man who

can shoot the pill, a man who can thrill.



I don't care if you have the best

three-point shooter in the league.



- You got to get back on defense.

- But at the same time, you need

to put points on the boards too.



Look at the best teams in history...

the Celtics, the Bulls, the Lakers...



all great defensive teams.



I mean, offense sells tickets,

but defense wins ball games.



- He's right.

Without defense, you won't win games.

- Thank you.



I see you're a fan of the classics.



Um, what?



- Oh, that. That-That's my sister's.

- Oh. Oh, okay.



I hope you like cheap, almost-stale red.



It's my favorite.



What's she like... the sister?



She's, you know, a sister.



- You don't want to talk about your sister.

- I didn't say that.



I don't want to talk about my sister.






So what's he like,

this, um, Captain Jack?



"His fingers tangled in her curls...



"while his tongue plundered

the soft cavern of her mouth.



"She made no protest.



"Her furnace was alight.



"Jack drew his lips from hers

and urged her forward...



"so he could take

one shirt-veiled nipple...



"into his mouth.



"Kit's gasp urged him on.



"He licked the material

until it clung...



"to the ripe peak...



"then drew the turgid flesh

deep into his mouth.



"Kit moaned, her body

spasming in response.



Her eyes were closed,

her lips parted."



Okay, um, embarrassing

as this is to admit...



I'm officially turned on.



Does this mean that I'm your bitch?



Do you want to be my bitch?



I have wanted to be your bitch

since my first day at Dommel.



That Chicago trip... I was convinced it was

all gonna come together for me there.



- Was I unfriendly?

- Oh, no. I mean, not compared to, say, Stalin.



I'm sorry.



- Hmm. I was hideous.

- That's okay.



You have plenty of time

to make it up to me.



- Go, go, go!



Come on, come on!



- Yes! Go!



Yes! Yes!



So, how's it going with Hotsy Tots?



- Oh, fine.

- "Fine," she says.



- What?



There's no "fine" with grandkids.



It's either the best day of your life

or sheer torture.



- What do you do together?

- I don't know. We eat.



Huh! That's it?



Oh, do things she likes to do.



Read the fashion magazines, surf the Net,

watch the smut on the cable.



- I don't have cable.

- No cable?



And she wonders why she and the girl

aren't all buddy-buddy.



I don't need television to build

a relationship with my granddaughter.



You're new to this. Trust me.



It's all about surround sound.



I just needed

a little kiss to make me feel better...



but now it wasn't working.



- Maggie!

- Oh!



We're having Cosmopolitans.

Would you like one?



I wasn't getting

the same rush. Tonight, I needed more.



No, thanks.



Meanwhile, uptown, Charlotte wondered

when relationships had gotten so complicated.



She yearned for the time when dinner

was followed by dessert, not lubricant.



- Ooh, whoops!



Oh, my.



I don't want to. Or maybe I do.

I don't know what I want, but...



- I've seen this one.

- I can't.



- I want children and nice bedding and...

- It's funny.



That night, they made love

the Charlotte way... polite...



Oh, it was wonderful.



- I thought so.

- Oh, you would.



- Now, walk up straight now.

- Thank you for everything.



- Good.

- Have a very wonderful day.



- Yes, and have a good sleep, and no sugar.

- Okay. And good night.



- Good night.

- Yeah.



Well... Yeah, okay.



Okay. Thank you. Good night.



What's up with Lewis?



I don't know

what you're talking about.



I say go for it. Just jump him.






Don't talk like that. Here.



Half the fun of sex...

is talking about it.



Well, I guess I missed that half.



You never talked about sex?



Occasionally with Ira.



Kind of.



Yeah, but what about girlfriends?



The first time you got laid.



You had to tell someone that.



It was my wedding night.

It was assumed.



You missed out on one of the all-time

greatest conversations in life.



Who'd you tell?






Well, maybe if I'd had a sister.



Even when you were so small...



you had a bond

that I'd never had with anyone.



You still close like that?






- You don't talk about her.

- What do you want to hear?



We're totally fine. We're-We're tight.

We're thick as thieves.



Let's ask her down.

I'd like to know her too.



You know, I doubt she would come.



She's, like, really busy.

She's a lawyer.



- No kidding. What kind?

- The really busy kind.



- No kidding. What kind?

- The really busy kind.



What do you do

once they've all peed?



Hmm. Give 'em a brush.

Take 'em all home.



Make sure they have water to drink.



- After that.

- Then I'm done.



- So what do you do?

- Whatever.



- Shop for food, cook for my boyfriend.

- I know his name.



I know, but I've never really had a real,

live, grown-up boyfriend before...



and I'm gonna use the word

as often as I can.



All right, first of all,

he's not grown up.



None of them are.



You know, there's a consistency

to your cynicism which is truly beautiful.



Hmm. Just don't be surprised...



if he turns out to be...

less than perfect.



And don't be surprised if he doesn't.



- I gotta go.

- Good-bye.



- Have fun.

- I'll call you.



All right.



You sound too pretty,

Maggie, to be cleaning bedpans.



You're right. I am.



I have a grandson, a doctor over in Tampa.

I should introduce you.



- You don't want to do that.

- Are you bad news?



Well, you know,

I don't mean to be, but yeah.



Well, since you're not gonna

marry my grandson...



you might as well read to me.



- I'm kind of a slow reader.

- Perfect.



I'm a slow listener.



"The... art... of...






- You know, I should just get back to work.

- What is it, dyslexia?



- What are you, a teacher?

- Professor.




Just take your time, Maggie.



Listen to the words

as you're about to say them.



Nine times out of   

you'll hear a mistake coming...



and you'll correct it

before you make it.



Then again, you might make

a total ass of yourself.



Oh, come on.



Poetry's supposed to be slow.



"The... art...



"of... losing...



"isn't hard to...






"So many... things...



"may... seem... file...



"seem... filled...



"with the... intent...



"to be... lost...



"that their... loss...



"is no...






"Lose... some...



"something every day.



"Ac-Accept the fluster...



"of lost door keys.



"I lost... two cities...



"two... rivers...



"a... contin...



"continen... continent.



"I... miss them...



"but it wasn't a... disaster.



"Even... losing you...



"the joking voice...



"a... gesture...



"I love...



"I... shan't have lied.



"It's... evi-evident...



"the... art... oflosing's...



"not too hard to master...



"though it look...

though it may look...












Well, what do you think?






Unacceptable answer.

What's the poem about?



- I don't know.

- Yes, you do. What's it about?



- Losing?

- What?



- Love?

- Ah.



And how about that?



Is the love lost already?



Is Bishop writing about it

as a possibility, a probability?









in the beginning,

she's talking about...



Iosing real things, like keys.



And then she... she gets, like...



she lost a continent.



- She's getting grandiose.

- Yeah.



And the way she says it is like...

like it doesn't matter.






Her tone...

would you call it detached?



I think she wants

to sound detached.



You know,

she wants to... sound...



like it doesn't matter...



'cause she knows, deep down...



how bad it's gonna feel to lose.



Lose what?



Or whom?



Is it a lover?






It's a friend.






Smart girl.



Oh, what a... a comfortable home.



It's very, uh, lived in.



Well, what can I get you?



- I'll have a white wine, and he'll have the same.

- Oh, good.



Why don't you just make yourself at home,

and I'll be right back.



- Hey, Dad!

- Hello, sweetie.



- Oh!

- Where's Maggie?



- Oh, not here.

- Oh, thank God. We don't need

her drama tonight.



- Why isn't she here? Is something wrong?

- No, we just had a fight.



- About what?

- Can we talk about this later?



Yes. Bad enough she monopolizes

the evening when she's here.



Oh, let me see that ring.



Oh, wow. Look at that.



Rose tells me you have a daughter

as well, Sydelle.



My Marcia? You'll meet her.



You'll love her. Everyone does.

My Marcia's a decorator.






She's an absolute genius in her work.



I'd like to say a few words.



Please. To Rose and Simon.



We're all blessed to be a part

of your happiness.



Your love bonds

notjust your two hearts...



but the hearts of two families.



- Mazel tov!

- Mazel tov!



- Mazel tov!

- Thanks, Dad.



- That went okay.

- Yeah.



Where's Maggie?



Uh, it's hard to say.

She moves around a lot.



Well, I want to meet her eventually,

you know? She's your sister.



- I want to know her.

- You will.



What was the fight about?



Mmm. Girl stuff.



Oh, shit.






I should have used fresh vegetables

instead of frozen.



I don't think so. They were great.



- Really delicious. They were good.

- Really?






- So, have you heard from Rose?

- No.



- So she hasn't gotten back to you.

- About what?



You were going

to invite her down, Maggie.



I don't know

where you got that idea.




I specifically asked you to.



So? Just because you specifically asked

doesn't mean I'm going to.



You shouldn't smoke.

You have a family history of lung cancer.



I have a family history

of car wrecks too.



Does that mean I shouldn't drive?



- That is not funny.

- It wasn't supposed to be.



All right, what is the problem

between you and Rose?



- Why don't you want her to visit?

- Why do you?



I mean,

am I not good enough for you?



This has nothing to do with you.



She's my daughter's daughter,

and I want to get to know her too.



What was Caroline like with you girls?



I mean, as a mom,

how do you remember her?



Why don't you ask Rose?



Maggie, please grow up.



She was special.



Different than the other moms.



She used to surprise us.



One time I opened up

my lunch box...



and there was a tiara inside.



A tiara. With your sandwich?



Instead of a sandwich.



What was she like as a daughter?



No tiaras.



But I loved her so much.



But loving her in the right way

was difficult, for me, anyway.



I didn't know there was

a right way and a wrong way.



Neither did I.



I had ideas...



I had unwelcomed ideas

about how to keep her safe.






Like, I thought she should have been

on her medication all the time.



I thought that her relationship

with your father...



was far too passionate

for her to handle.



And as far as children

were concerned...



she was in no condition,

no condition at all.



So you wish she never had me.



You know what I wish, Maggie?



I wish I'd kept my big mouth

shut long enough...



to hear what she wanted

out of life.



There she is! There's the bride!



Be strong.



Stay right here.

I'll get your corsage.



Corsage? What is this, a prom?



- Ladies?

- Ah, thank you.



- Who are these people?

- I have no idea.



- Except for my Marcia.

- Hello!



Hey, you're not sticking around...



to watch me ooh and ahh

over a Mixmaster Deluxe?



It's good of you

to let Sydelle do this.



- Oh, like gale force winds could stop her.

- Go easy on her.



- Marcia's giving her a very hard time these days.

- Oh, what's she doing?



Decorating in last year's colors?



She joined Jews forJesus.



Yoo-hoo! Ladies, it's time...



for the entertainment portion

of our soiree.



Uh, everyone get where you can see.

Anita, Jackie, come on.




Here we go.






We, who know Rose,

are so thrilled...



that this day has finally arrived.



- Aw.

- There was a time we had our doubts.



Oh, my goodness.



All that time spent with her nose

buried in her book.



- Oh, bookworm.



Of course, there were romances,

but for some reason or other, nothing stuck.



- Oh!

- A little heavy.



- Oh. One thing Rose always

had was a great appetite.



For life!



Oh, God!



Why would anyone want to marry me?

I'm disgusting!



The only disgusting person here

is your stepmother. She's hideous.



So why is she giving me this party?

She hates me.



Someone else should do it...

someone who l-loves me...



someone who can look at me

and say...



"All of this is nothing more

than the happiness you deserve."



Young lady.



Rose Feller,

don't you dare walk out on...



- I am talking to my friend!



She's crazy. She's crazy!

She's sick in the head!



Hands down,

best shower I've ever been to.



Engagement should be

a happy time, Rosie.



So should childhood and graduation.



And happy hour.



Did you know more suicides happen during

happy hour than any other time of day?



- Is that true?

- I wouldn't doubt it.



I love you, you know.



- Who's Rose?

- There's this thing called privacy, Dora.



This from a girl who puts a postage stamp

on her bottom and calls it a swimsuit.



The number

you have called is no longer in service.



If you feel you have reached

this recording in error...



Are you dead?



What were you thinking,

going to the mall?



The mall is for young people,

people with teeth.



Well, my son's finally getting married,

and the girl's a ninny.



"Shut up, Ma," he says.

"Just show up in something nice."



- You know what I saw today?

- What?



Pants with "Juicy" written across the heinie.

I'm gonna wear that?



Just wear something

you're comfortable in.



I haven't been comfortable

since the Dodgers left Brooklyn.



What's your favorite thing

you ever wore?



- Ever?

- Yeah. In your whole life.



My going-away suit

from my wedding.



Black and white checks,

very fitted.



I felt likeJackie Kennedy in that suit.



Give me your credit card.

Give it to me.



Can I get you a size?



No, I'm going to

the women's suit department.






- Jackie Kennedy?

- Better. Jackie Onassis.



That looks so good on you.



Oh, Maggie, you're so sweet.

Good job!



You ready?



I don't know what to wear

to a Main Line wedding.



It doesn't matter.

Wear whatever you want.



- Believe me, when the bride's

name is Lopey, it matters.

- Look, th-that looks great.



- Come on.

- Really?



- Yeah. Come on. We gotta go.

- Okay.



I can't believe you have

a friend named Lopey.



- Come on, come on, come on.

- I'm sorry. Wait.



Are you okay? 'Cause if there's gonna be

any stabbing, I need a little heads up.



I'm fine.



Oh, my God.



Oh, shit. MyJimmy Choos!



Chewing gum?



Oh, that bitch. That bitch!



- No one will notice.

- Right. No one's gonna notice that.



"Hi. Hi. Hi! Hi. I can talk, 'cause I

have a mouth." My heel has a mouth!



No one will notice.



Oh, my God!

What happened to your heel?



Uh, best wishes, Lopey, Jordan.



Thanks, Simon.



"Let the wind die down.



"Let the... shed go black inside.



"Let evening come.



"To the bottle in the ditch...



"to the scoop... in the oats...



"to... air in the lung...



Let evening come."



- Can I take that for you?



I hear you're getting married.




Congratulations are for the groom.



You say "best wishes" to the bride.



I guess my manners aren't

what they should be.



Gee, really?



Rose, I am really sorry.



I've felt horrible about myself

for two solid months.



I've felt horrible

about myself my whole life...



so you'll get no sympathy from me.



You know what they called me

growing up?



Fudgie the Whale.



I'm still shocked

when a woman wants me...



and sometimes I do really stupid things

because I can't believe I can.



- That thing with your sister...

- Was inexcusable.



No matter what you weighed

in high school.



You ruined everything.



I know.



What we had... was really special.



Oh, please! What we...



Because of you,

I have no idea where my sister is.



I can't reach her.

Her phone's cut off.



She doesn't even know I'm engaged.

My own sister.



My best friend.



And the worst part is,

I can't talk to anyone about it.



If I tell my father, he'll get

all panicked and mad at me...



for not taking better care of her.



And if I tell Simon...

I can't tell Simon.



Why not?






he'll hate her.



And that, I couldn't bear.



Hi, Jim.



Here I am, trying to be patient,

trying to be understanding...



while you lose your freaking mind.



- I'm not losing my mind.

- Ping-ponging between

comatose and homicidal.



God, every day I wake up thinking,

"Maybe today's the day she'll come back.



- I'm right here.

- "Maybe today she'll look at me like she used to.



She'll... She'll look at me in the eye,

tell me what she's thinking."



- Simon?

- But no, no, no.



Today's the day

you look him in the eye...



tell him what you're thinking.



The guy who treated you

like a... like a disposable washrag.



This has nothing to do with him.



This is about you and me...



you not talking to me, you not

telling me what's going on inside you.



Tell me.



I won't marry you like this.



I won't do it.



So this lady today, she, um... she heard

about how I shopped for Mrs. Lefkowitz...



and she asked

if I'd do the same for her.



- No kidding?

- Yeah.



- Said she'd pay.

- Well, she'd better.



- Do you think there's other women

down here who would?

- Are you kidding? Scads.



I was thinking of doing it

maybe like... a business.



Well, that's an excellent idea.



Um, I'm really terrible at numbers.



I mean, adding and stuff.



Well, I'm good with them.

I can help.



I mean, if you like.



Yeah. Sure.



That'd be good.






- Oh, no.

- Dad?



- Dad?

- You are not welcome here!



- Rose? You all right?

- Are you kidding?



I'm fantastic. Turns out I have

a grandmother I never knew about.



It was in your own best interest.

Your father thought...



Why are you speaking? You do not

have any place in this conversation.



- Excuse me, miss. This is my house.

- Sydelle. Please.



How did she find you?



How did she lose me?



She said she sent birthday cards.



Please tell me you never got 'em.



Our mother was dead,

our father was practically catatonic.



- A grandmother might have come in handy.

- She was impossible, Rose.



Bossy, self-righteous, nosy about things

that weren't her business.



- Like what?

- Trust me. We were better off without her.



Because she was bossy?

That doesn't make any sense.



I didn't want to be around that,

and I didn't want you around it.



- What?

- The judgment. The blame.



- For what? What-What'd she blame you for?

- Everything.



- What everything?

- Just everything.



- Dad!

- For your mother, all right?



For her death.



- She said that?

- She didn't have to.



She wanted her protected

all the time. Drugged.



But Caroline...

she didn't want to live that way.



It made her foggy.



She couldn't take it

if she was pregnant.



So... we hoped it would be enough...



loving each other,

loving you and Maggie.



There were so many good days.



We thought it would be okay.



Oh, God.



I'm sorry, Rosie.



I'm so sorry.



Now, um...



the only opening on Thursday

she has is  :  .



- P. M?

- Yes.



- That's right in the middle of dinner.

- Well, take it or leave it.



- I'll take it if she won't.

- I'll take it. I'll take it.



- "Mrs. Stempel."

- Ella.



Lewis! Are you looking

for a personal shopper too?



No. A date, to the Tea Dance.



And I'd be honored

if you'd go with me.



- I'd love to.

- Pick you up at  :  .



- Lewis Feldman.

- Ooh.



This place just keeps

getting better and better.



What are you doing here?



I live here.

What are you doing here?



You live here?

In an old folks home?



It's a retirement community

for active seniors.



Wait, so you...

you live with our grandmother?



How'd you find out about her?



I can't believe she wrote you

without telling me.



It's so sneaky.



Does it offend

your strict moral code?



So, how's it going for you down here?



Who's buying your cocktails?



No one.



Oh, no.

Is your mojo failing you already?



My mojo's fine.



I just haven't felt like drinking.



Right. Probably haven't

felt like stealing...



or lying or having sex

with inappropriate partners either.



- Did you come down here just to abuse me?



Maggie! I hope you are prepared

to be exceedingly rich...



because I booked you within an...



Rose. Oh.



Oh, Rose.



Look at you.



Oh, look how lovely you are. Oh.



Oh. Do you remember me?






I remember you too.



You-You're exactly the same.



Smiley and huggable and...



- Ooh, and engaged?

- What?



Oh, yeah.



- Holy shit. To who?

- No one you know.



Champagne. Now, come with me.



Tell me all about it.



I can't believe you're marrying

somebody I haven't even met.



What's he like anyhow?



Why? You want to screw him too?



I don't expect you to forgive me, Rose...



but I am sorry.



- Careful, Mrs. Haskell.

- I'm always careful!



She hit somebody last week.

It was a big to-do.



And there's a store where you can buy

eight different kinds of hemorrhoid creams.



All right.

Here come the Queen Bees.



Widows. They run the place.

Oh, watch out.



- Hello, ladies! This is my sister.

- Maggie.



- Hi.

- Hi, Maggie.



Yep. Have a good day.



This is the exercise pavilion.

Hey, guys!



- Hi, Maggie.

- This is my sister, Rose.



Hello, Rose!



Good, Lydia. A good stretch.

That's it. And left.



Looking good, Mrs. Klein.



- Hi, Maggie.

- Hi, ladies.






I call these guys The Bench.

They're all former lawyers.



- Gentlemen! Hey.

- Hi, Maggie.



This is my sister, Rose.

She's a lawyer, too, from Philadelphia.



- Which firm?

- Uh, actually, no firm right now.



I'm just... taking some time off.



- Me too.



- What are you doing, Ella?

- Sit down, girls.



I've got some things here

I thought you might like to see.



- Whoa.

- Oh, God.



- Look at you.



- These are great.

- Hey, look. Our old living room.



Oh, God.



Could Mom have been any prettier?



Oh, you look exactly like her.

Doesn't she?



- I wonder if there's a picture of Honey Bun.

- That'd be pretty impossible.



- Who's Honey Bun?

- Our dog.



- You had a dog?

- For one day.



The greatest day.



Mom woke us up really early.

It was a school day. It was still dark out.



It was winter.



And she put us in our best party dresses and

dragged us down to the kitchen, which was...



- A mess.

- Covered, every counter, in fudge.



She'd been up all night making it.



We loaded it into the car,

and she drove us right past school...



straight up to New York,

to Lord & Taylor.



Which was closed, because we got there

at  :   in the morning.



- That's right, and we hung out in the car.

- Eating fudge for breakfast.



Mom had heard about Mrs. Fields.

You know, the cookie lady?



And she figured that her fudge

was just as good as those cookies, so...



So she was gonna make a fortune.



When it finally opened, we went in

and, oh, God, she was so beautiful.



- She was wearing this long, velvety gown.

- At  :   in the morning?



Well, by this time it was   :  .



I guess she talked to some of the store people

about the fudge, but I don't remember.



Mmm, she spilled it,

all over the jewelry counter.



- There was a guy who just kind of looked at her.

- I don't remember a guy.



There was a guy,

and he looked at her.



Anyway, Mom said that we could

each get one present.



- And you got...

- A Nancy Drew book.



I asked for a puppy. And she got it!



He was so cute.

I named him Honey Bun.



Why'd you only have it for one day?



- I guess Dad thought it was a bad idea.

- Why?



I don't know. I think he thought

I was too young.



No. He was just mad.



- About a dog?

- No, about the whole day.



He didn't have any idea where we were,

and school had called.



- Oh.

- Really?



Yeah. He was really panicked

and really, really mad at her.



They had a huge fight.



I don't remember a fight.



You were in your room

with a record playing.



- I was?

- Yeah.



I put you in there and turned the music on

so you wouldn't hear them.



Why? What were they saying?



He was saying...



she was unfit.



That's the word he used.



He said he was gonna... send her away.

Put her away. Something.



- He kept saying "away."

- Mmm. And her?



"Oh, there's nothing wrong with me.

I'm a good mother."



He'd say, "away,"

and she'd say, "I'm their mother!"



So he was... he was gonna

have her hospitalized.






Oh, God. The poor guy.



When exactly was this?



November  .



No. No, it wasn't.

It was, like, months before that.



It was two days.



It was Tuesday,

and she died that Thursday.



It was on purpose, wasn't it?



The car, the tree.



Was it even raining that night?



You were so little.



How do you tell a six-year-old

her mom left by choice?



Who told you?



No one.



- Oh, God. Why can't I just stay mad at you?



'Cause we're a pair,

like Sonny and Cher.



They split up.



- But they remained quite close.



I'm not engaged anymore.



Simon dumped me.



Why are you still wearing the ring?



I like how it feels.



- Do you know his name?

- Simon Stein.



- Doctor?

- Lawyer.



- Oh. Nice.

- So you call information...



"Simon Stein in Philly"...

Get his number, make a call.



And say what?



"Hey, jerk, you broke my sister's heart.

Come down here and make it right."



Maybe not that, word-for-word.



- He broke up with her.

He's not gonna want to come.

- Well, you don't know that.



Men can be very confused.



Yeah, too many options...

be an astronaut, be a playboy.



Often a man needs help

making the right choice.



Yeah, how am I supposed to help him?

He doesn't even know me.



He knows your sister.



And loves her, or he wouldn't have

proposed in the first place.



- So?

- So, what if he learns she was in trouble?



Or sick.



Or pregnant.






Don't look so shocked,

Miss Comes-To-Florida-







We know all about you.



- So, dog walking.

- Oh, don't worry about it.



It's not forever. It's just to keep me busy

till I figure out my next move.



Well, when you figure it out,

I hope you'll let me know.



You know, down here, if you don't have

successful grandchildren to brag about...



you're screwed.



What are we reading today?

A little Emily Dick? A little...



What are we reading today?

A little Emily Dick? A little...



Did they move him?



He died.



This morning.






- Were you on duty?

- No, l-I don't work here.



This is his chart.



You're his grandson, the doctor.



Who are you?



Um, nobody.

L-I just... I read to him sometimes.



You're Maggie.



He talked about me?



Just a little.



- Hey.

- Hey.



Who's Fred Astaire?



That's Lewis.



You're a very good dancer, Lewis.



Know what else I'm good at?






What are you doing here?



I came as soon as your sister called.



Should you be drinking?



- So you're not pregnant.

- No.



- Never were.

- Don't you think I would tell you

if I were pregnant?



I don't know.

You know, I hope so, but, frankly...



there were a lot of things

you weren't telling me back there.



I promise, anything I kept from you

had nothing to do with us.



It was about Maggie.



I was protecting her

because that's what I do.



You need to know this, because

if by some insane stroke of fate...



you do decide to marry me...



she will make your life a living hell.



You'll be begging me

to kick her out...



commit her, kill her, anything.



And I'll want to...



but I never will.



Because without her...



I don't make sense.



You look good.

You look like you.



- I can't believe I'm in Florida.



- You'll come back?

- Yes, I promise.



- Now, you hold her to it.

- I will.



Okay, don't buy a wedding dress.

It's gonna be my gift to you.



No way.



You'll have me in some

hootchie-mama monstrosity.



Look, I'm good at this. Trust me.



Are you sure this is the right place?



Only oneJerk Hut

in Philadelphia, ma'am.









This is my friend, Lewis Feldman.



- Lewis, this is Michael Feller, father of the bride.

- Pleased to meet you.



Welcome. Rose will be

so glad you're here.






- Oh.



I'm so glad you're here.



- Are you excited?

- Yeah.



Yes? Perfect.



She gets really mad

if you leave the lid off the ice cream.



I know.



- Don't even think about using her toothbrush.

- Mm-hmm.



- And she hates the look of raw chicken.

- I know.



And if she starts humming

"Hava Nagila"...



she's, like, really, really mad...

like, mad.



Mag... Maggie, I know. I know her.



- Okay.

- Okay.






I wore them in     .



- Old.

- But not to you.



- Right.

- And if I didn't give them to you?



- Borrowed.

- Mm-hmm. And look at the flowers.



- Blue.

- Yeah.



So, uh, Simon...



I'll be back in a few minutes.



They are so lovely.



You should be very proud.



I'm afraid I can't take much credit.



Well, it's not always easy

taking care of yourself...



and someone else

at the same time.



I owe you an apology, Ella.



Many, in fact.



I owe quite a few myself.



You'll be entering from...



Oh, yeah, just along here

and, um, down these stairs.



- And will someone be escorting you?

- My dad.



- That's nice.

- Dad.



- Thanks, Dad.

- Thanks, Michael.



And now, a very special moment.



Young lady?



Uh, this isn't in the program,

'cause it's a surprise.



I surprise Rose a lot.



Uh, usually, she hates it.



I think, or I hope...



that she likes this.



It's a poem by e.e. Cummings.



For you.



"I carry your heart with me.



"I carry it in my heart.



"I am never without it.



"Anywhere I go, you go, my dear.



"And whatever is done by only me...



"is your doing, my darling.



"I fear no fate...



"for you are my fate, my sweet.



"I want no world, for, beautiful...



"you are my world, my true.



"Here is the deepest secret

no one knows.



"Here is the root of the root...



"and the bud of the bud...



"and the sky of the sky

of a tree called life...



"which grows higher

than the soul can hope...



"or mind can hide.



"It is the wonder

that's keeping the stars apart.



"I carry your heart.



I carry it in my heart."



- Mazel tov!



Ah, look at them.



Now, you behave yourself now.



- You'll make sure Ella gets those?

- Mmm. Of course.



- Seriously, you can't keep them.



I wouldn't do that.



He's kinda hot.






Not funny yet?






"Here's the deepest secret no one knows.



"Here is the root of the root...



"and the bud of the bud...



and the sky of the sky

of a tree called life."



"Which grows

higher than the soul can hope...



"or mind can hide.



"It is the wonder

that's keeping the stars apart.



"I carry your heart.



I carry it in my heart."


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