Italian For Beginners Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Italian For Beginners script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Lone Scherfig movie (Italiensk for begyndere).  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Italian For Beginners. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Italian For Beginners Script





And this is it.

Straight ahead.



Things haven't been easy of late.



We feel we perhaps haven't

felt God's presence very much.



We'll make sure we clean it.



Pastor Wredmann

salivates a lot during sermons.



He can be very ... committed.



Here you are ...

they fit the main door as well.



l can't give you

the keys to the vicarage.



Pastor Wredmann is only on

suspension so he still lives there.



I am so sorry about your wife.



I think l knew her.



I did community service

at the pastoral seminary.



verger -



Would you like to talk to him?

Yes, please.






Who is he?

I was just showing him round.



I am the temporary pastor.

My name is Andreas.



We've been looking

forward to your arrival.



Shall I help you find

a bed for the night?



Yes, please.



We'll have to sack the manager

of the stadium restaurant.




Pernille, do take some cake.



Yes, Halvfinn.

We've had another call.



Not a complaint?

He's no idea how to treat patrons.



He poured a chocolate milk into

a lady's handbag. Deliberately.



Yet he was the best

footballer of us all.



Opinions differ on that. l remember

one match ... Give him the sack.



Pernille, come to my office.



I believe they phoned

from the church ...



Yes, I'm sorry ...

it's because he is my best friend.



The man you were talking to?

No, the man he told me to sack.



One can't just do that, can one?



No, if it's your best friend

it is a bit problematical.



He was brought up in an orphanage

and made the stadium his home -



after Juventus came

to play in the Cup.



We know him as Halvfinn.

He played for our Under Tens.



He was very good.

Committed rather a lot of fouls.



But from that

to giving him the sack ...



Yes, it's a bit tough.



Now I'm wondering if

you wouldn't prefer an eco-room?



The same price ...

but the materials are different -



and there's a view of the allotment

gardens and not the hospital.



That's room number    .



Here you go.




Have you any luggage

l can help you with?



It's in the car ...

No problem.



It's a black Maserati.



Maserati ...



... is an Italian car.



My name is J鴕gen Mortensen.




Welcome to the hotel, Andreas.



Thank you.



Eight Roman loaves

for the stadium restaurant.



Rum truffles, you mean?



Eight rum truffles

for the stadium restaurant.



We've got rum Danish?

Hand over the truffles.



They're booked.




For the Scandic Hotel.

What, rum truffles there?



It's room service.



We've got student cakes

with the same ingredients.



I'll take them, then.




Plus eight rum truffles.






To eat at once?

Get your bloody act together.



Finn ... what do you think

of the work here?



Get your feet down!

That's a decent chair, right?



Eh? Finn? Do you like it?

I've had enough!



I have taken them down.

I'm only ...



This bloody hair of mine.

l can't work.



Why not wear a hair net? It's

quite common in the food industry.



It'd look bloody great at

a stadium restaurant, too.



Hello, Peter Schmeichel,

welcome to the stadium restaurant -



and its manager.

Yes, he's into hairnets.



Hello, Juventus!




This is the stadium restaurant.

The manager wears a hairnet.



You speak Italian?

What does it sound like, eh, Prof?



I thought you were a Finn.




It sounds a bit Finnish.



'The "Halv" comes from working

in a sports hall, man.



Why not do to a hairdresser?

Why not shut your face?



Well? What do you think of the work?

I don't think of it as work.



I pretty well live here.

Do you like it or ...



I built this place up from scratch.



Remember when there was just a bar

here and tables by the windows -



and tables round about?



Yes ...

And l can't do anything else.






Shut it.



It's no use when l can't conform.



That was a great idea.

The haircut.



Maybe Giulia would do it.

Will you cut my hair?



No, I will not.

- Up yours, you stupid cow!



Goodness ...



How dare you?



Nobody's that shorthaired.

It's what we agreed on.



l could comb it back.

To give it more body.



I believe my hotel phoned ...?




lf you'd sit here ...




I do the receptionist there.

Yes. He recommends you highly.



I'll put a towel

round your shoulders ...



Just a moment ...



They discharged you?



Hello, Sweetie-pie.

What about tomorrow's scan?



Never mind that

now I'm feeling better, eh?



I ate almost two pieces

of toast this morning.



Mum, you promised not to come.

I looked in my coat pocket.



Somebody had taken my purse.

I don't know how much I've got.



Isn't there any cash in the till?




Spend it on food.



I'll come by later, all right?



We can celebrate my discharge.

I kept thinking of you in hospital.



I'm so lucky to have you.

The best daughter in the world.



The hairdresser who was ...



Come along.

I'll see you later.






I'm sorry.

Not at all.



I'll take these off.



Just a trim?

Yes. Nothing too flashy.



You're not going dancing?

No, I'm a pastor.



I'll cut you like a pastor, then.

That'd be fine.



A nice moon and

a monk-like wreath of hair.



That'd be fine.



I wonder whether you could ... avoid

pouring water down my neck?



I'm sorry.



That's all right.

Oh, damn ..



Whoops, sorry, you're a pastor!



lf we just dry you ...




Serve them in here.



I'll fix you a sandwich.

Just give me the rum truffles.



There weren't any more.

Yeah, you went and dropped them.



You're fucking useless.



I'm only allowed

to take any that is left over.



lf I was dead you could hump

some no-good every night -



without having

to consider anyone else.



Hazel nut cream and marzipan.



Shall I make you a sandwich?



I don't know.

You've forgotten the salt beef.



No, I haven't.



You think I rot away here

for my own sake?



Did you ever hear me asking to

sit here staring myself to death?



You go, then.




lf I hadn't stayed here

when your mother fucked off -



you'd still be sitting on the floor

in a soaking nappy.



And what thanks do I get?

''Go get your own salt beef!''



You've got a bloody nerve!

Why don't you leave like your mum?



Do you want a pickle?

Push off home.



What are you lying there for?

Mum ...



Help me ...

Come on.




That's better.



Will you light a cigarette for me?

Yes, wait a moment.



Sit on the bed.



I'll take these.



All right?



Hello, Carmen.

Shall I help?



It's Karen... I need some

clean clothes for my mother.



Yes ... lf you want a chat

I'm in the nurses' station.



She needs a shower.

lf I could have a towel ...



Have two.



Up you get ...



My tummy hurts so badly ...



Have you eaten at all today?

No. I promise I'll try.



Come on, I'll wash your hair.



Yes ... I threw up on it.



Sit down.



Let's see ...



Did you bring me anything?

I came straight from the salon.



You're such a cow.

Will you take this ...



You promised

to bring me something.



I mustn't give you anything

while you're on medicine.



That's not your concern.

No, but it's not allowed.



You should do what I tell you.

Mum, let go. Let go!



There's nothing special about

a bloody ladies' hairdresser.



Groping the hair

of strangers for money.



Nobody rates you.



Relax, Mum.



Mum, we've got to wash your hair.

You can have a smoke afterwards.



The kingdom of God does

not come in observable form.



''We could not say Look, here it

is!'' ''Or Look! There it is!''



The kingdom of God

is in your midst or inside you.



The Gospels may be understood ...

How primitive!



The gospels may be

understood both ways.



No, no, no.






God only exists as a concept.

We are guilty.



You are guilty.



The sisters point out that

you can cancel for less than three.



Thank you.



Communion's off.

What, cancelled?



Yes, you could've had a lie-in.

Never mind, we'll do training.



You could do to the stadium

with them and get some exercise.



No, there's a swimming pool

at the hotel.



I think they spend most of their

time in the restaurant, anyway.



Don't you know anyone around here?

Oh, I won't be here that long.



What about your fellow students?

They're dispersed far and wide.



Your wife was kind.



She was one of the only ones

who ever talked to me.



At the seminary.



They let me do my

last three months there -



because I'd helped

in the prison chapel.



What ... did you do to prison for?









I did three




A video store.

Two garages, two drug stores, -



and the Royal Oak Hotel.

... that's where they busted me.



Are you out of it now?




I couldn't bring myself

to do on the game *** -



or steal from ordinary people.

That's why it got so dramatic -



with a balaclava

and a butcher's knife and stuff.



Now I have God.






Are you married?

No. But I do to Italian lessons.



Will you come next time?

There's plenty of room.



Strange you should ask.

The receptionist at the hotel -



asked me the same thing.



J鴕gen Mortensen?

Yes, he is very helpful.






I'm sorry I was like that.

Just like your mother.



She may have been a great singer,

but she was a lousy human being.




You take after her.



I've no clean clothes.

I put some in your cupboard.



Don't forget the rum truffles.




What is it this time?



lf it's all right,

I'd like a change now and then.



So would l.

Evening classes or something.



Don't be cheeky!



No ... But I'd like to start Italian.



You're too stupid to learn it.

Mum managed.



She was Italian. That's different.



Its only once a week.

The council arranges it.



Is it mixed?



Yes ... no, I think

it's mainly women.



That sounds fucking disgusting.



I'm going next time.



lf you do,

we no longer know each other.



I would like a ticket to Italy.

- I would like a ticket to Italy.



Bravo, Halvfinn.

- Thanks.



J鴕gen Mortensen ... would you

like to ask for a ticket to Italy, too?



I would like ... a docket ...



A ticket to Italy...

- ... a ticket to Italy.



You have improved.




Thank you.



Let us hear the ladies ...

Read my lips ...



I would like a ticket to Italy.






Thank you very much!

-Please very much.



Ah, we have a new student.

Signorina, what's your name?



What's your name?






Good evening, Signorina Olympia.



Good evening,

Signorina Olympia.



You'll get the hang of it.

Right, here we are in Italy.



At the hotel. Repeat!

- At the hotel.



I would like a room.




I would like a room.



Beautiful, beautiful, like your

peaches and cream complexion.



Thank you.

... Peaches and cream, he said.



I would like a room with

a view of the city... Halvfinn?



A room with a view of the city.



The city... the people ...



The sound of the fountains

... of the church bells ...



Kirsten ... Venice.



A room with a double bed.




I understand.



I would like a room -



- with a view of the city -



- and a double bed ...



A room with a double pizza.

No, sorry, a double patty.



Marcello, Marcello, what's up?



Marcello, what's happening?



I'll call an ambulance!



Call an ambulance!

I'm a nurse.



Get out of the bloody way!



Marcello ...



Marcello ...

The ambulance has come.



Is it your first Italian lesson, too?



No ...



It is in loneliness that

God seems farthest away.



And in grief ...

J鴕gen Mortensen?



Just a moment ...



I was just refilling

our Icelandic guest's minibar.



It was empty again.

Fine ...



I haven't been updated

on the stadium restaurant.



About Halvfinn?

Yes. When does he leave?



I gave him a warning.

A very serious warning.



And he said

he'd do something about his hair.



That wasn't what we agreed.

But we've known him so long ...



He is to be dismissed.

Immediately. Good evening.



Can I help you with your key cards?

We'll manage.



Oh, they can be tricky.



But God is here ...



... in compassion, in friendship.



Between us.



Inside us.



In love.

In every movement.



In the arm you slip

around the waist ...



... of your beloved.






Do you have an appointment?

No, I just want this bit off.






Shall I just ...



... take an inch all round?



No, just the front.



A uniform trim looks nicer.

But you're not giving me one.






lf you'll sit by the sink ...



What do I have

to wear this thing for?



Thank you.



Is this all right?



It's too hot, right?




You've got really thick hair.



Just a moment ...



Mum ...

I'm sorry.



Come out back.

... I'm sorry.



You're so clever, so nice and tidy.



lf you sit down I'll ...



Shall I call the doctor?



I think you'd better

call an ambulance.






You're in early.




Have you seen the tables?



Excuse me.

I've rearranged them a bit.



Just the    cm that changes

the way the light falls.



You haven't been to the hairdresser.

I have. I just haven't been cut.



Have you tried our new sorbet?




I've got to ...

Hey, Giulia ...



A Cup Final Special !

- just a moment!



I've got to talk to you.



Is something up?




Is it serious?




Gone impotent, have you?




I haven't slept

with a girl for four years.



Four years?



Not since that Christmas.

The Friday before Christmas.



Four years ago.



What about that chambermaid?

I couldn't do it.



She was even in uniform.



Well, an apron.




What about that goalie?



From the women's handball team?

You were in her room ...




I couldn't with her, either.



Do you know what you can do?

lf you can do anything?



Get back on your horse ...



Thanks for the advice, Finn.



Here is your ice cream.






You just need

to find the right girl.



Do you mind repeating that?



Don't put your teaspoon

on the tablecloth, you pig!



Hey, Ronlev!






Your Italian night, right?

Yes, it's Wednesday.



You only do to pick up the broads.

Sure I do, Birger.



Sugar, till, the other till ...



Cake, cake ...






When you sin in advertantly ...



Destroy without meaning to ...



And you don't think you

have a right to mercy ...



Hello. I started last time.

Welcome to the class, Andreas.



This is Halvfinn.

I told you about him.



Andreas is staying at the Scandic -



until the vicarage is vacant.

He's the temporary minister.



Hello. Can you all understand

what I'm saying?



Yes, we ...



Right. My name is Ulrik.

You've no blackboard here?



I'm the one in the side building.

I teach the stoneware class -



and ceramic jewellery.

I expect you've heard about us.



Both classes are oversubscribed.



Marcello Merconledi

isn't coming back.



He didn't make it.



He was an extremely good

colleague and a very nice teacher.



Will our course be cancelled?

The council is looking for a tutor.



But it's difficult,

and there are only seven of you.



Yes, for now!

The minimum is eight.



I'd love to have you in my classes,

but I am so much in demand.



And you don't teach Italian.



No, that's true.



I think you should

quietly pack your bags -



and do to your homes and

see which way the wind blows.






Would your class like this?

Thank you, that's very kind.



I'm sorry.

You don't need any help, right?



Thank you.

It's a cinnamon wheel.



I had to cut it in half

to get it into the box.






I may not be able

to do Italian after all.



The class is probably

going to be cancelled.



And I probably couldn't

learn it anyway.



Though I'd really like to.



And maybe we wouldn't quarrel

so much if I got out a bit.



I went this evening, actually.



I know you don't like ...

I'm sorry, dad, but ...



... I think it's actually

a very good course.



Someone even took a cake.



Me, actually.






No, come on in.



I owe you a cut.



Come on, then.



I'll take a little to start with.

You can say if you want more.



Fair enough.



The hairdresser's ...



Yes ...



I'll come at once.






I'm sorry, but I've got to go.



So if you ...



... would go, too ...



No ...



You must.



That's lousy style.



I'm sorry.




I'll manage.






We've put your mother into

a single room. Number   .



Was she disturbing the others?

It's for her own sake.



Why restrict her morphine now?

We're not restricting it.



We're keeping her out of pain now.



Thank you.



Is it empty?






Is that morphine?



They haven't turned it up enough.



I've got something to tell you.



What's that?



Turn it up first.



It's not allowed.



That's up to me.






Why are you dolled up like that?

I don't know.



You look like a hooker.




Turn it up.



It's not allowed.



In that case I won't tell you.



Move, pal.

Hey, you!



We were wondering how long

you'd been on that course.



Two Football Specials!




Juventus came to play.

I talked to them, Ok?



And that got you going?

Two Football Specials!



Shut your face!

We're out of pumpernickel.



I can't send Giulia out for more

with    people waiting, can l?



You couldn't take over

the teaching, could you?



That sounds so stupid ...

You are the best of us.



Or the council will close us.

Don't you work for the council?



Not that department.

You could try.



There'd only be   students.

They'd close us.



How about a Rounders Special?

Aren't they with white bread?



Are you under twelve?




Do I look as if I'd serve

raisins to a full-grown man?



You have to be less than twelve years old

to get a Rounders Special.




I'm not going to look stupid.



Secondly, I have a good job already.

Can I have a chocolate milk?



Shut up! This is a restaurant,

not a children's home.



We sit down and we eat

with knives and forks.



Get it? We don't put our feet on the

table and if you don't like it, out!




It's certainly not your turn.



Excuse me, have you a moment?

Excuse me, want a bloody nose?



Finn, you're fired.

What do you mean?



I mean you've got    minutes

to beat it.



Who is this idiot?



The boss of the hotel

that runs this place.



Tell him we know the receptionist

and he'll beat him up.



He couldn't care.

He's the receptionist's boss, too.



Then punch his nose yourself.



What is she saying?

-Come into the kitchen.



And I'll castrate you.

She asks if that's your Cortina.



No, mine's a GTI.

-You can get out your dick.



I'll find a sharp knife

and fillet it for you.



She asks if you want to do to

the kitchen and taste a delicacy ...



''Mucho obrigado, Signorita!''



Tell him that if you go, I go.

-That'd be stupid.



It's a stupid job. Why should

I stay if you're not here?



And if you're not here -



- J鴕gen Mortensen

won't come anymore.



If he goes, I go.



Will you translate?




Will you?



Um ...



She says ...



If he goes, she goes.

Fine. That's a deal. Goodbye.



You don't have to do that.

You don't work here any more.



lf this hadn't happened you'd

have been here till you were   .



That would have made me   .

You should get married, J鴕gen.



What will Giulia do?



Figure out what to do with her life.

How about you?



I don't know.






I've just bought a new

leather-upholstered settee.



Wine red.




But that's not relevant right now.

Ashtrays ...



You like people, right?



Yes ... Well, sometimes.

But do people like me?



Yes, that's up to me to decide

in the present situation.



The fact is, I've been promoted.




To hotel director?

Yes, they had no option.




You really deserve it.



But it means we'll have to do

quite a bit of reorganisation.



That's where you come

into the picture.



I'm thinking of transferring you

to Conference Assistant.



You'll be in charge of the overhead

projector, people's luggage, and ...



And that means ...



... a cut in salary.

No! You'll stay on the same salary.



What about my uniform?

It'll stay the same.



What do you think?



Yes ...

So that's that, then.



In that case, thanks.

I'm the one to thank you.



Thanks a lot !



Have you ever been to Italy?






I was going to do to Venice.

But we cancelled at the last moment.



Have you been to Italy?




But my mum is Italian.

That's why I'm coming here.



Oh? That's good.



You seem to be right.

It's been cancelled.



It's really a very, very good course.

Oh? Is it?






Can I give you a lift?

No, thanks, I've got my bike.



You've done the buttons up wrong.



Is that your car?




Isn't it Italian?

Yes, it's a Maserati.



It's really lovely.

Doesn't your wife just love it?



My wife died in May.



My dad's just died, too.



He hadn't said a word about it.

Nor had my wife.



Was she ill?

She had schizophrenia.



We just didn't realize

that it was so serious.



She was a very strong believer.

We assumed ...



In God?

Yes, far stronger than me.



I must be getting on home.

Of course. Sorry.






Is it your first time?




Don't be nervous.

You'll cope.



Very nice.



Hello ...

My condolences.



I'm sorry ...



My father's the one

who's having his funeral.



I had no idea it was you.



I haven't talked to

any of the other relatives.



Sit down and

the pastor will come in a moment.



The organist is in the hospital.

Never mind.



Is he really the pastor here?




Andreas is standing in

for Pastor Wredmann.



Count yourself lucky.



Askifit磗 really

hymn number    .






We'll begin with hymn number    

''This Blessed Day.''



Excuse me ... we're in doubt

about the hymn on the board.



And where are the flowers?



My husband says -



the coffin should have

been mahogany, too.



Was your cousin's name Mercoledi?

-No, my uncle.



Is your father also

called Marcello Mercoledi?



No, he is called Leif.



Then perhaps your father

isn't dead at all?



Yes, he's the one

who's going to be buried.



Your uncle is in the chapel.

His funeral is at   p.m.



We're too early.

-Come on, Feline.



I'm sorry, Padre.

That's all right.



Never mind ...

I expect it happens all the time.



My apologies ...

the new pastor cocked Things up.



He is only temporary.




Do you want us to sing now?



No, thank you.



We're pretty good, you know.

Yes, but ... there's no need.



Then he bought a new TV.



Allow me ...

Thank you.



Have you anyone to talk to tonight?



Oh, I'm used to being alone.



Shouldn't you do back

to the church for that other funeral?



Yes, indeed.

Thank you.



Marcello Mercoledi ...

wasn't he your Italian teacher?



Yes ... Do you know

if they've found a replacement?






What's the matter

with your organist?



There was some disagreement

about the accentuation of a hymn.



Pastor Wredmann

got rather physical.



He pushed the organist

over the balcony.



I believe

he damaged his spleen or ...



Take care.








Shall I just sit down?




lf you'll ...



I'm sorry.






Oh, I'm sorry.



It's my mum.



She's just died.

Ok ... Ok ...



She was very ill, so ...



... she would have died anyway.



What did she die of?






You don't have to go.

I can still cut your hair.



Kirsten ... kisser?




Have you any news of Finn?




It's just that he's left

the stadium restaurant now.



So has the Italian kitchen maid.

So I was wondering ... No?



Hello. Can you all

understand what I'm saying?



My name is Ulrik.

We've searched high and low -



for a new teacher for you.

It hasn't been easy.



But we have succeeded.

We've recruited one internally.



I'm sure you'll be pleased

with our compromise.









Over to you, Finn.



How marvellous

that you agreed, Finn!



Why don't you shut your job?

Always yacking away ...



Right. We were booking

a double room in Venice.



With a bath, yes.






anything else?

... May I get that?



No. I want two rum Danish.

Yes, Ok.



That'll be   .  .



Thank you.

... Just a moment.



The bakery ...



Yes? Yes, speaking ...






Now my mum has died.



Shouldn't you do home?



lf I shut the shop

I'll get the sack.



Drink this.

She was here and I didn't know.



Shall I serve them?



Oh, would you?

Just for    minutes?



Mind you don't drop anything!



Our organist is still in hospital.



The same ward as the deceased,

I believe.



Are you ... ?

I am the daughter.



... Are you sure

you've come to the right place?



I think

they've mixed Things up again.



They got the times wrong last

time, too ... this is a funeral.



Yes. I've arranged it.




... Did you know my mother?



Hello, Karen.






Whose funeral is this?



Karen's mother's.

I thought it was my mother's.



I'm sorry,

I must have made a mistake.




the nurse on your mother's ward -



says that your mother

told her she had two daughters.



We'll start by singing

hymn number     -



''This Blessed Day.''



So you lived with dad?






I seemed to recall a little sister

from when I was very young.



But mum said I was wrong.



Did you live in Italy?

Why would I do that?



She was very talented

so she had to do home to Italy.



To sing.



''Home to Italy?''



Wasn't she an opera singer?



She never quite made it.



Nor was she Italian.



Was that something

your father told you?



I don't know.






Was he there today?

My father?






He wouldn't even

come to her funeral?



He's almost only just died.



What's your name?




... I was nine

before I could pronounce it.



My real name is Carmen.

That's hideous, too.



Have you got a pen?



Excuse me, Signorina.



May I borrow a pen and a piece of paper?






Thank you.

She does Italian.



So does Andreas.



It's not very neat.




Shall I put my address, too?

No, that'll do fine.



Are you two an item?







I'll be going, then ...



Got anyone to talk to tonight?

Oh, I'm used to being alone.



Thanks a lot.



Go carefully.




Thanks for your help.

Take care, now.



Do you think she'll phone?



lf she can read your writing.



Dear Virgin Mary...



Open J鴕gen Mortensen's eyes

and make him find me.



Hi, Karen.

Can you cut my hair?



Yes, come on in.




The usual?

Yes, above the collar.



May I keep this on?

A bit of a sore throat?



I'm not quite myself these days.

Where do you want me?



In the middle.

And it's on the house.



You've sent me a few customers.

Oh, yes, from the hotel.



Yes, and the guy from

the stadium restaurant.



Halvfinn, yes.




Has it closed down?

No, he left, that's all.



I don't do there any more myself.



Would you like a cup of coffee?

That'd be nice. Just black.



Giulia isn't there any more, either.

The Italian girl.



I don't know where she's gone.



Is she his girlfriend?

Oh, no. They don't match at all.



No, she worked in the kitchen.

Oh, her?



I've only just seen her.






No, at the Italian restaurant.

I think she works there.



I won't need this after all.



Good, now I can see ...



Has Halvfinn got a new job?



Yes, our Italians.




No, a language class.



Run by the council.

Once a week.



Oh? Is there a girl

in the class called Olympia?



Olymp... Yes, there is.







Excuse me, Halvfinn? Is it all right

for me to bring my elder sister?



We'd like to do something together -



and she can see if

Italian is anything for her.



Couldn't you

have mentioned it before?



Just how many strawberries

are you short of a picnic?






Your mother is also Italian, then?



Thank you.

I brought these.



Eight rum truffles.




Andreas, the door, please.



Right, are we all here?

- Yes ...




- Where is J鴕gen Mortensen?



We don't know

where J鴕gen Mortensen is.



'' You don't know创

''where J鴕gen Mortensen is.创



'' We don't know创

''where J鴕gen Mortensen is.创



'' We don't know创

''where J鴕gen Mortensen is.创



Excuse me ...

- Signor Mortensen?



May I have a Jolly Cola?




I'll bring it.


            sitting just over there.



Thank you.

-You're welcome.



It's wonderful to see you again.



Would you like

to go to school with me?



To school?

- Yes.



I go to school.

I'm learning Italian.



But there's one tiny problem.



A tiny problem?

-I already speak Italian.



Get a move on!

- Sorry.



Just the bill, please.



Holy Virgin Mary,

why am I so ugly and stupid?




- Penalty.




- Throw-in.




- Goalie.



To whistle.

- To whistle.



You're getting better and better.

That's all.




- Goodbye.



Good night.



Isn't he just brilliant?

He's got the knack.



Goodnight, Karen.




At first I didn't understand a word,

but it comes just like that.



Are you getting the bus, too?

I want a word with the teacher.



You think you'll keep on coming?




Do you look like our mum did?

A little, perhaps.



See you.



You should watch that step.

It gets a bit dirty.



But your desk is clean.



This place is bloody filthy.



Some drama class is doing

some fuddyduddy musical.



Did you know I was the teacher?






Are you Ok?



When somebody dies, how long is it

before you can fall in love?



At once, I reckon.



Even if it's your wife who's dead?



Is it the pastor?



What do you want for Christmas?



This salon.

Then I'd be the boss.



No ... I'd be happy with a scarf.



What do you want?



A husband and a house

and not to do out to work.



Or those long earrings

we saw at the shopping centre.



How will you spend Christmas?

I don't know.



What did you use to do?

We stayed at home.



Never had a boyfriend?

Not for Christmas.










Can you cut my hair?



I am not the hairdresser.



My sister is.



I see ... is it possible?



Shall I just take the ends?



No, I want much more off.

Shorten it right up to here.







That'd be a shame.

-I want to look like a lady.



A lady?

-Yes, of    or   .



She wants to look like a    year old.



The bartender fixed a Traviata

instead of a pint of lager.



Maybe you'd like it?




Have you been a pastor for long?

I qualified this summer.



Do people come to you and tell you

all kinds of weird Things?



Yes, we provide

counsel for the soul.



It's just that ...



It's just that I've got problems.

At the hotel?



No, it's more of a ...



I don't know how the church puts it.

But ...



... women ...

Do they have any effect on you?



Sure they do.



It may be due to

an old athletics injury.



It's that muscle ... underneath.

I used to play football.



We were a goal down against

Br鴑dby and you take chances.



I ran into a hard tackle

''and I heard a crack ...''



And you went impotent?




But ...



... not when I'm alone.

Only when ...



... I'm with a girl.



So I haven't been.

For quite a while.



That's quite Ok. Nor have l.

For six months.



Oh. In my case it's ...



... four years.



Do you pray?

Yes, or I couldn't be a pastor.



No, quite.



It would probably be a bit weird

to pray to God about my problem ...




It's a matter for the individual.



I could start by praying a girl would

come along whom I wasn't scared of.



You could, yes.

She might also come by herself.



That'd probably be better.



One can tell you're a pastor.

Can one?



It's not going very well, though.




But it will.



I'll do another length.



Every grieving soul

Be filled with joy



Shake off your burden of pain



A child is born

in the town of David



To comfort every heart



We will find

The child in ourselves



And become children

In soul and mind









Child Jesus!



Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.



Good you're back, Christian.

Thank you.



Merry Christmas ...



You should apply for the post.

Thank you.



Going to wish him

a Merry Christmas?



We didn't get a rocket this year!

No, no rocket this year.



I'll pop over to my

mother's grave. See you!



Do apply for the job.

Thank you.



Excuse me ... hi.



Is the food no good?

Oh, it's fine.



I wonder if I might sit here?



Is there a draught in there?




Not at all.

Shall I fetch your pudding?



No, never mind.



You won't escape the present

that goes with it, though.



These are what we give.

Oh, there's no need.



You'll make it, Andreas.



The worst Things are the first

Christmas and the first birthday.



I remember what it was like

after my mother died.



But Christmas doesn't last long.




I was just ...

That's all right.



Merry Christmas.



Those are our pudding prizes.



Holy Virgin ...



... on this night

when you bore your son ...



... the Lord revealed him self in

the tiniest, poorest of people ...






... make J鴕gen Mortensen

feel the quintessence of love ...



... and come over

for a glass of Marsala.




- Ciao! Come on in!



Good evening, Pastor.



May I offer you something?



A drink?

What is she saying?



Do we want a drink?

And we do, right?



There she is.



Here you are.

- Thank you.




- Thank you Marsala.



Well then, Merry Christmas!



Merry Christmas, Giulia!

-Merry Christmas to you.






What the hell has

happened to your hair?



You look like a    year old.



It's because I'm in love

with a man of ninety-six.



I like your hair-do.



Thank you. Excuse me.

It's classical.



Thank you, Holy Mother!

He likes my hair!



I'd like to pay.

- Right away.



She's cute, isn't she?

She is.



But it's no good.

She's Italian, you know.



You won't get to sleep with her

until you're married.



And that kind of puts

a spanner in your works.



And all the food she cooks

she also eats.



And in six months she'll put on    

pounds and look like her mother.



Not all daughters end up

looking like their mums.



I certainly hope not. That Karen

... the hairdresser ... her mum ...



Did you ever see her?



She could drink, man.

She drank like a fish.



Her hair was all bedraggled.



It was gross. And she was

even a hairdresser's mum.



She drank like ...

What's this thing about hair?



She didn't look after herself.




Are you bad-mouthing my mother?



How dare you?

You never even knew her.



And what about you?



You're useless.

You can't hold down a job.



Don't you dare say

Things like that about my mother.



You haven't even got any parents.

Nobody wanted you, did they?



I hope I never see you again.

That's fine by me.



And if my sister hears

what you said, I'll kill you.



I'll bet.






We could make a tradition of it.

Yes, let's!



I think I'll do home to bed.

Yes, so will I.








Hello. Merry Christmas.




I was on my way to see you.



How are you?




How is your sister doing?



Have you noticed

how clumsy she is?



Yes, I know her

from our Italian class.



She must have got it

from our father.



Or your mother.

Prenatal alcohol damage.



Alcohol damage?



It's not unusual.



... That's my bus.



I turned up the morphine.

That's not allowed.



Your mother died

of an infected pancreas.



Yes, but ...




I must be going.



How about a cocktail?

I'm not on again till   o'clock.



Go home, will you?



Wasn't she beautiful? Giulia?



With her new hair-do?



A shame we didn't get

to have a little chat with her.



You don't speak Italian, J鴕gen.

Don't say that, Finn.



It's the feeling that counts.



You can't get it up, man.

Can you?



She seemed ...

Go inside, man.



She seemed a bit upset. Karen.

Go inside, will you?



I don't think

she meant you to get upset too.



Cut it out, man!



Who are you?

Merry Christmas!



You've got no conception of Christmas.

Are you entertaining *** ?



How dare you! You smell of

alcohol. What do you want?



To ask if I should

apply for your job.



What for?

For the church. The congregation.



The congregation?

May I come in?



How could you shepherd

an entire congregation?



You can't decide whether

to stay outside or come in.



You can't even decide

whether to be married or not.



Running off and leaving your wife!

May I come in?



Yes, come in, then.

Thank you.



God exists.

lf we believe in Him, he is there.



My wife is not at home.




My wife is dead.



She's been dead four years.



God took her away from me

and she took God away from me.



God is an abstraction and you'll

never get those retards to see that.



What use is discussing Things

at such an abstract level?



What's the use?

You don't know the meaning of loss.



To see a human being ...



... to see the person you love

disappearing ...



To see the simplest Things

become impossible ...



By the end

she couldn't even strike a match.



She just disappeared.



That doesn't give you the right

to run that church into the ground.



Your grief is no different

from anyone else's here.



Elisabeth wasn't like

the other meaningless people -



we have to keep burying.



Then keep your distance

and let us air out that church!



Why should you care what people

believe? Leave them alone!



You've no idea what you're talking

''about, you don't know pain or loss''



Or love.

I know what I'm talking about:



You are so deeply, deeply selfish,

Wredmann! Get on with your life!



Did you notice Giulia

at the Italian Restaurant?



Yes. I did.



She is beautiful.

Yes, very beautiful.



She's a Roman Catholic.



I believe they don't ...



... sleep with anyone

till after they're married.



Yes, I believe that's quite common.



I certainly saw her smiling at you.




Maybe I should ask her ...



... if she'd like to do for a walk.



That sounds like a good idea.



When should I ask her?

When she gives you the chance.



Has Pastor Wredmann been sacked?




So he'll be

vacating the vicarage?



Actually, I don't know.

Was it because of the organist?



It was because

Wredmann wouldn't co-operate.



Well, it is rather a long drop.




The parish council wants you

to apply for the job.



Yes, they've already asked me.

Are you going to?






Would you like to ...



- promenade with me?



Excuse me, may I take

your blood pressure? Lise?



Excuse me, may I check

my blood pressure?



A litre of milk, please.

-A litre of milk, please.



Where is your sister?



My sister is in the refrigerator.



Thank you.




Thank you.




Goodbye, Finn.

See you around, J鴕gen.



Have you got five minutes?



I just don't know

what to do about that Karen.



I think you should say sorry.




She was the one who ...



In that case, begin by forgiving her.



lf you like a girl

... what do you do?



I don't like any girls.



Would you try

to get your leg over here?



Like hell would.



The only thing he's asked me is

to learn to speak Italian.



J鴕gen Mortensen.



J鴕gen Mortensen.




The same J鴕gen Mortensen?

- He's handsome.



You'll have to

sort it out by yourself.



Why are you leaving?

-See you, Giulia.



Hey, what am I going to do?






Goodbye. Have a lovely party

and a lovely vacation.



What are you doing here?



I've been thinking about you.

Yes. Just stay away.



I've come to say sorry.

You should've thought of that.






Shall I pick you up after work?




I have said sorry.



Yes. Goodbye.



Karen ...






Hello, Olympia.



Are you busy?

No. I was just reading.



About loss.



I lost my grip and dropped

two trays of pastries just now.



Can't you just pick them up again?

A dozen eggs fell on top.



I drop everything.



I can't keep anything Straight.



I can hardly write.



I do round with bruises

here and on my elbows.



I hadn't the energy

to clear up the mess.



So you just left the shop?



I did lock the door.



But I don't want to do back.



I've had    jobs since I left school.




and they realise how bad I am.



I've only lasted so long

at the baker's -



because I put money

in the till for all that I drop -



so the baker doesn't find out.



I am useless.



No, it's not too good.




I don't know if I can help you.



But I can start

by giving you a tissue.



Is that any good?



And a little cup of coffee?



I'm afraid

I can't offer you a pastry.



Somebody dropped eggs on them.




There was a letter from the bank.



Can you sit in the noisemaker?



I can lend you the money.



No, it's not that.



I didn't think my father

had any money at all.



But there's       -  Dkr.



Where from?



He hardly ever bought anything.

So now it's yours.



No, ours!




Now  you can buy the salon

if you want to.



And the bank is open late today.

No ... he was your father.



When mum died you didn't

inherit anything, did you?



I inherited you.

Yeah ...



We could do to Italy.



lf anybody goes to Italy, -



I think you should ask the rest

of the class if they want to go.



And the teacher.



lf it's just the one Sunday ...

I think I can find a stand-in.



What about you, Beate?

Can I do?



That would be really nice.




I can swap my shifts, so ...

How about you, Karen?



Well, yes.



And you, Halvfinn?

Do you want to go?



Of course.

What about you, J鴕gen?










Right, let's commence!









Hello ...



I want to enrol.

- You what?!



I want to enrol

in this Italian class.



Then they won't close us down!

She's got an ear for languages!



It's the girl from the restaurant.




And if you have any objections l




Very well... welcome, then.

We're all going away.



Fine. I'll come, too.







Excuse me?



Would you like ...



... to promenade with me?



Very much.

Where shall we go?



'' Where shall we go?创



I don't know, J鴕gen.

Where shall we go?



I was thinking ...

perhaps ... Venice?



Were you seasick?




Are you thinking about your wife?




Oh. Yes.



My name is J鴕gen Mortensen.

-I'm honoured.



Mind you don't fall into

the canal, eh, Olympia?



Take this off first ... there.



We're ridiculous, standing here.

-J鴕gen is a great photographer.



keep it perfectly still.

Silent, yes? Thank you.



Electronic fuel injection.




ABS brakes.

-ABS brakes.



J鴕gen Mortensen.

- Yes.



''Card of pasta ...创

- Postcard.



For my mother.

- For your mother.



''How do you stay stamp?''





I'll do and buy one.



See you.




Let's go!



Go on up.

I'll just be a moment.



Oh ... Ok.



Look ...



What do you think?



Come with me.



Giulia, I know you can't

understand what I'm saying.



But I'll say it anyway.



I'm ten years older than you

and I'm not really good at anything.



I've no relatives any more.

I'm no good at my job.



I've no hobbies.



Apart from doing Italian.



And that's really

for Halvfinn's sake, -



because I'm no real good

at languages.



I can't even say anything to you.



Actually I think I'm rather dull.



I certainly haven't

your temperament.



And sex isn't something

I feel confident about any more.



I know you don't

understand what I'm saying.



But if I don't say it now

I'll never get it said.



But I love you, Giulia, and I want

to be with you for always.



I'd like to have children ...



... and to watch you get older ...



... and grow old.



I'll love you every day from when

I wake up till we do to bed at night.



I so much want to marry you, Giulia.



I do understand a bit of Danish.



I just speak it very badly.



Perhaps I would like to marry you.



But I want to do to a church ...




... and think it over.



Will you wait for me?

- Yes.



Wait for me here.
















Would you like to swap?



It's much easier

to get mine onto the fork ...



lf you like ...



Well, J鴕gen Mortensen? All right?

Actually ...



... I think my athletics

injury is getting better.



It must be the climate.



I expect so.



What a lovely voice!




I certainly sing a lot.



The two choristers at the church ...



They're beginning to stress out

because the church is so full now.



We could do with a soprano.



So I was thinking ...

Only if you want to, though.



We'll have to keep the rear seats

free in case you fall off.



But you won't.



How about it?

Yes, please!



That's wonderful.



This is it.



You do in first.





Here's Karen.



Sorry I'm late.

... Thanks.




Good evening.







Look what he gave me!




-J鴕gen Mortensen.



Beautiful, isn't it?

-No, ugly.



Like your hair.



No, I didn't cut him.



This dinner's on me.

No need for that, Andreas.



Yes, because I'm going

to sell the Maserati.



Oh, no!




I won't be needing it any more.


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