Voila! Finally, the Jimmy Hollywood
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Christian Slater and
Joe Pesci movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Jimmy Hollywood. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Ready.
Gloria Swanson.
Maurice Chevalier.
Ralph Bellamy.
Lon Chaney.
Phillips Lord.
One of my favorites,
Humphrey Bogart.
Here's an actress, Snow White.
Ann Miller.
Jean Harlow.
Blank.
Rex Harrison.
Burgess Meredith.
Ray Bolger.
Blank. Steve McQueen.
Danny Kaye.
Sarah Vaughan.
Jimmy Stewart.
Victor Mature.
Edward G. Robinson.
Blank.
Dinah Shore.
Adolphe Menjou.
Erich von Stroheim.
Tom Mix.
Rory Calhoun.
Henry Fonda.
Burt Lancaster.
This one, if I had a hat, I'd tip it.
John Ford.
Betty Grable.
Little Richard.
Jimmy Cagney.
Blank.
Van Heflin.
Richard Widmark.
- Richard Widmark. Shit.
- That was pretty good, though.
Richard Widmark. How could I not
get that, Richard Widmark?
Yeah, how many was that?
- What?
- How many, William?
I thought you were gonna count.
How could I be counting?
I'm thinking of names.
Oh, come on, huh, William?
I depend on you.
This is important to me.
I think this was my personal best.
I don't ever remember
doing this well before.
This was definitely a better run
than my Debbie Reynolds one.
Debbie Reynolds one?
Now we gotta go back and count.
I gotta count all the stars again.
I can't believe you did this to me.
I can't believe you did it.
Come on, let's go, idiot.
Count them.
One.
Two. You don't remember
where I started at all? Think.
Maybe if you see it. Three.
How many was that? Five?
How many...? How many we just do?
One, two, three, four, five.
Here we go.
You look good. Very, very good.
Very compelling.
Catches your eye.
Don't you think, if you were riding by,
it catches your eye?
Don't forget,
this is a big traffic flow area.
A lot of people passing by,
seeing this. Big traffic flow.
You look good. Very, very good.
Very, very compelling.
Sometimes you just gotta invest
in your future, you know.
Gotta step up and invest.
They did a beautiful job with the
artwork. Really catches your eye.
Definitely worth the money.
I should probably have
a fax or two waiting
by the time we get home, right?
- What do you think?
- Yeah.
There go the Ortegas.
- Is that my phone?
- Nope. No, that's not yours.
Hi, this is Jimmy Alto,
actor extraordinaire.I'm gonna have to get back to you.
I have a very busy schedule.I'm on a set right now, so please leave
a message or a fax for me. Thanks.- Favorite movie?
- Gone With the Wind.
Selznick International.
- First movie you ever saw?
- The Mummy.
Boris Karloff.
I was a young kid with my dad.
I wasn't feeling well, and my dad let
me stay up and watch Fright Night.
You know what I could never
figure out about the mummy?
The mummy used to walk
with one arm out
and a leg dragging behind him.
He was still always able to get
his victim.
I'm thinking, as a kid, I'm pretty fast.
Just, you know,
put some moves on the mummy,
and the mummy, he'd never get me.
This is what you're thinking about?
Then I realized,
mummy never has to sleep.
Eventually I'd get tired of running
around the mummy.
That's when he'd get me.
So, what'd you do?
Scare yourself to death
thinking you were going to sleep and
the mummy was coming in your room?
This schmuck, this mummy,
is in Cairo.
It's gotta take a plane from Egypt
to Philadelphia.
This mummy has got to get
a passport,
and you're worried he's coming
in your room at night?
Oh, this mummy's got more
important things on its mind.
I could never figure out about
how the mummy used to walk around
with one arm out
and a leg dragging behind him.
William. William.
You're blanking.
- Did I say that?
- Trust me.
I did say that.
Watch the radio. I gotta go to bed.
See this?
We're gonna make a withdrawal.
Oh, God. Of all the people,
you have to pick on me? Come on.
- I make very little money.
- Look, 's not gonna kill you.
- Just hurry up.
- Two hundred?
I never use these machines at night.
I'm always afraid.
- Just shut up and get on with it.
- I'm wrong.
- Enter again.
- Lady, don't provoke me.
- Enter again.
- Lady, don't provoke me.
Don't touch my back, please.
You making me nervous.
Well, don't provoke me.
Just give me the money.
Wait, wait. "Processing. "
- No funds?
- What do you mean...?
I can't believe it.
I don't have any money in my account.
- All right. Give me your purse.
- I don't have any money, man.
- I don't have anything.
- Give me your fucking purse.
Bitch, pick it up. Pick it up.
No, if I do, then you'll hit me
in the head.
Take what you want.
I don't have anything.
Put your hands down.
Put your hands down.
Just...
OK, pick up the...
Pick up the car keys.
Go ahead. Pick up the car keys.
All right.
- Where's your car?
- It's the blue Mazda.
- OK, come on.
- OK, now, listen, if you want the car,
- you have the car.
- No. You understand?
- Gun. Do you speak English?
- Yes, yes, but...
- I want you to get into the car...
- No, no.
- OK, come on.
- Listen to me. If you want the car,
- take it. I won't say anything.
- I just want you to get into the car.
- I don't wanna get into an argument.
- Don't touch me!
If you want the car,
you have the car! Take it!
Fuck. Oh, shit.
Would you put your fucking hands...?
You get up, you big tub of guts.
Jimmy.
- Jimmy.
- Hey.
Some guy just held me up
at the ready teller.
- What?
- He had a gun in my back.
- He wanted .
- The lowlife scum.
What the fuck is going on
in this world today?
Will somebody tell me what kind of
sick world this is we live in?
Tell me what happened.
Don't leave anything out.
I couldn't get the money
from the machine.
I didn't have any.
- He wanted me to get in the car.
- Don't tell me you got in.
- You didn't get in the car?
- No.
- I threw the keys away, and he ran off.
- Lowlife scum.
Scum of the earth, I'll tell you.
It was smart not to get in the car.
I knew I wasn't going
to get into the car.
Oh, definitely smart
not to get in the car.
- What did he get?
- He didn't get anything.
I didn't have any money
in my account.
- Honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Don't worry.
It's a good thing I took that money.
- You took the money?
- Yeah.
- Definitely the right move.
- You mean, you took my money?
- What the hell is wrong with you?
- I borrowed the card.
I had a crisis with my bus-bench
advertisement.
- What are you talking about?
- I have a bus bench on Sunset,
right near the gates of Bel Air.
Big traffic flow area.
They're looking for an actor,
boom, they see me.
- Jimmy, you stole my money.
- "Stole" is a harsh word, honey.
- I used it as an investment in us.
- In us? In you, not in us.
The phone could ring any moment.
That could be the call.
Next thing you know, I'm in a series.
Then we're living out on the west side.
Bam! It happens just like that.
We're on our way.
You don't have that bullshit job
anymore. Boom! We're on our way.
You took my money. How could you
take my money like that?
You know how strong I am as an
actor. I'm bound to be recognized.
You really are a sick nut,
you know that?
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
"Ring, ring", any moment.
Boom, we're on our way.
That money sits there at the gates
of Bel Air right now,
gathering momentum.
It was a good thing,
and you should thank your lucky stars
that I got that money out
before that scumbag did.
How many times have I told you
not to go in my purse?
Don't ever go into my purse again.
Ever.
Fellas, give me a hand.Kid......I think it'd be a good idea
if you'd hand over your gun.
Wanna look for this guy?
You think you could recognize him?
What?
I say, you think you can recognize
him? I wanna look for this guy.
I'll kill the motherfucker if I find him,
trying to take your money.
- Please, just spare me this, will you?
- Why, you think I'm kidding? Huh?
Think I'm fooling around?
Yeah? I'm fooling around?
See this? I find him, I'll put him away.
- What are you doing with a gun?
- That lowlife scum.
- Jesus Christ. Are you crazy?
- They're blanks.
William gave me the gun
and the blanks.
That's a smart idea.
A gun with blanks.
- It's all an illusion. That's all it is.
- Put that away, please.
You make me nervous
with that thing.
That's the whole point.
That's the whole point.
That's the point I'm trying to make.
You made it for me.
It frightens you. See?
Guy terrified you today with a gun,
it's terrible.
It was terrifying, right?
Guy pulled a gun on you.
That's why I wanna get him.
I mean, you know, it shouldn't be.
- You still scared? You all right?
- Yeah.
Be careful with my heart.
Be careful with my heart.
Self-promotion.
That's what it's about.
Can't rely on agents.
Do it yourself. That's what I say.
You'll see, those calls are gonna start
coming in. You can bank on it.
Then with the contacts I make,
you become Lorraine de la Peña,
haircutter to the stars.
Yeah, but in the... In the meantime,
are you gonna get a job, Jimmy?
- I'm working on it. I'm working on it.
- OK.
- You're handsome.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- You know what they say,
the camera can only photograph
what it sees.
- What you doing out here, man?
- Hey. Jimmy Alto.
- Mr. Meyerhoff sent me.
- Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, come on in.
I been out there since : .
What time you open?
: .
You ought to get the coffee going,
because about :
- they're gonna be in here.
- Right.
You know how to work
one of these things?
- Yeah, sure.
- All right, cool. Go on to it, then.
Right.
So Mr. M tell me you actor, huh?
- Right.
- Yeah, I seen you on anything?
You ever see that show Matlock,
the role of Cliff?
- Oh, you was on that show?
- No.
I was up for the role of Cliff.
- You was up for the role?
- Yeah, I was up for the role.
Let me tell you something
about this business, OK?
Between you and me,
and it goes no further.
- Hey, ain't no problem.
- I gave a hell of a reading for that part.
But I think they felt I was
a little too strong for Andy Griffith.
- Really?
- I blew Andy Griffith off the screen.
I mean, that's how strong I am,
you understand?
I mean, I know this guy.
I had that part too.
But, you know, there's a lot
of politics involved,
- and not necessarily
- Yeah, politics.
How good you are, you know.
And I'm a little intimidating, you know.
I'm so strong,
I intimidate other actors.
Well, you know, man, I just thought
they wanted to get the best actor.
- You know, that's what I thought.
- It's not always about talent.
Yeah, I hear that.
So, man, you know what you're
doing there, right?
Stack of about a half-dozen of these.
You good to go, right?
- You know how to do this?
- I did this in a Broadway show.
- Oh, you was on Broadway, man?
- Well, off-Broadway.
Off-Broadway?
Off-off-Broadway,
but they're all the same.
You know, people don't understand.
Yeah, I hear you.
Well, you know what?
I'm gonna go off-off-Broadway.
Let's get this cooking started, all right?
- All right.
- You're good to go, right?
- I got it.
- All right.
Hey, I think the... I think something's
wrong with the button.
Well, why don't you try
the off-off-Broadway button.
I'd like a half a cup of coffee.
I only wanted half a cup of coffee.
I'm thinking of putting together
a one-man show.
- Tour de force kind of thing.
- Yeah.
That way you don't have some other
actors dragging you down, you know.
One-man show,
that's the way to go.
I just gotta find some piece
that really shows my... My...
I don't know, I can't find the words.
Oh, like... Like homeboy
with the big moustache.
You know, the Huckleberry Finn dude.
What his name?
- Mark Twain?
- Yeah, yeah.
I could do Mark Twain.
I could do that.
But I need something that
stretches me more.
You know, something that
really challenges me.
Something that'll show off
my talents and my abilities.
Yeah, well, why don't you show your
talents and abilities on this here.
Like to go to movie premieres?
- Hey, what the hell is this?
- What up?
What up? There's nobody here.
I mean, how do I know who gets what?
Oh, man.
- Where everybody at?
- Are they outside?
They're all outside.
Something's going on.
Back up on the curb.
Everyone, please, just back up.
Back behind the cones.
Back up on the sidewalk.
- French toast, right?
- Pastry and a coffee.
Half decaf, half regular.
- Eggs over?
- What are you on, glue?
- Portuguese sausage.
- Portuguese sausage?
- That's right.
- You were in this restaurant?
- Cream cheese and bagel?
- Lox and bagel.
- Whitefish.
- Whitefish. I've been looking for you.
How am I gonna do this?
How am I gonna do this?
- Got him? Yeah!
- Busted.
- Terrific. Way to go.
- All right for the boys in blue!
I don't know who gets what here.
Fuck it. This shit's getting cold.
Soup's on!
Has anyone seen
a corned beef hash?
I got bagel, who's got toast?
Hey, shorty!
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I asked for scrambled eggs.
Scrambled eggs.
These are not scrambled eggs.
- Now they're scrambled.
- What about my egg whites?
- Hey, whitefish.
- Whitefish. I found the whitefish.
I don't know where your toast is.
Give me the bagel.
- Another half cup of coffee.
- Suck it off the floor.
I like it hot.
Mr. Alto, is this a cafeteria?
"No. " Then he says,
"That's what I thought. "
I hired a waiter,
so this is not a cafeteria.
I said, "Yeah, but I had this problem. "
He says, "I can hire. I can fire.
"End of story. End of job. "
- What are you gonna do now?
- What am I gonna do?
Sometimes you gotta take
the bad with the strong.
Is that an expression?
- I don't know. It's new to me.
- Yeah, it's a new expression.
Hey, there goes Johnny.
He's winding up for the pitch.
Wanna watch him again?
What the hell is that all about?
Why does he do that?
- I told you.
- Tell me that again.
OK. The story goes,
they brought him up to the majors,
they brought him in,
relief pitch, crucial game,
something like that.
First pitch he threw, boom.
Gave up a home run,
lost the game,
never pitched again in the majors.
Supposedly, what he's doing
is always reenacting that pitch,
trying to get it right.
Living that moment. Boom.
Any of this sound familiar to you?
Come on, he'll do it again
for you tomorrow.
Hell of a thing, going through life,
living that moment
over and over again,
regretting that you never got it right,
you never had another chance.
Poor fuck.
Not gonna spend my life living
the same moment over and over again.
I'm gonna beat it.
Hey, Lorne Greene didn't happen
in his s, or even in his s.
All of a sudden, boom, the guy shows
up on Bonanza. He's got white hair.
He hung in there.
He was in there for the long haul.
I gotta hand it to Lorne.
He hung in there.
Nothing's ever gonna stop me.
Nothing.
I bet he was a good pitcher in his day.
- What?
- What do you wanna do?
- You wanna catch a movie?
- I don't know. What's playing?
I don't know.
I'd like to see Gone With the Wind.- Gone With the Wind?
- Yeah.Gone With the Wind,
you wanna see.
I don't know, William.
Nothing from me rubs off on you.
I don't understand that.
From this moment on,
Hollywood stars will be recognizedas unparalleled fundraisers
and morale builders in time of war.After the war, however, Hollywood
turns another face to the world.In the ' s and ' s
it becomes a lotusland,whose godlike inhabitants seemsublimely above common concern.
And this is what...
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
One fucking time. Don't tell me.
Don't fucking tell me.
One fucking time I leave
the fucking radio there.
One time. Son of a bitch.
Son of a bitch.
- What?
- Come on, get out of the street.
- Son of a bitch.
- Come on.
Come on, get out of the street.
- Come on. Hey!
- Son of a bitch.
Come on,
get the fuck out of the street!
- Hey, what...? What is it with...?
- Get the fuck out...
Hey, get out of the street!
Can't you see I got...? What are you
gonna do, run me over here?
- If I have to... Hey, come on.
- Hey, hey! Hey!
Hey, get out of the car!
Can't you see I got
a fucking problem here?
They stole my radio!
- Stupid son of a bitch.
- Jesus.
- Hi.
- Hey.
What are you guys doing?
Some lowlife scum
stole my car radio.
- Oh, where?
- Right outside.
Yeah, they said there have been six
or seven stolen this past week.
- Yeah, that's epidemic proportions.
- Yeah?
But what is the gun
and the video camera all about?
Well, the police aren't gonna do
anything about it. They don't care.
This is a two-hour battery.
What are you guys supposed
to be doing?
- I'm gonna catch the thief myself.
- Video him.
Oh, this is a good idea.
This is a good idea.
Have you lost your mind?
Have you gone completely
and totally nuts?
You know what it's like to find
your car violated, huh?
Your car radio gone,
something you care about gone,
and nobody's gonna do
anything about it?
- Yeah. Jimmy, it's just a radio car.
- I want something done.
- I want satisfaction.
- You just gonna wait outside?
Wait for someone
to break into a car?
That's right. I'm gonna videotape
him in the act,
arrest him and hand him over
to the police.
Some couples spend their Saturday
evenings going to movies or clubs.
My boyfriend is going to be
in the bushes, looking for some thief.
Do you have any idea
how absurd this is?
William, will you get that
away from my face?
I'm sorry, I was just checking
the autofocus at a low light.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I must have lost my mind.
Hey, Will, these blanks
are not all the same size.
I wasn't taping.
- What day is this?
- th.
- It's not the th?
- th.
- Wednesday the th?
- Tuesday the th.
Is this the beginning of Tuesday,
or was it Tuesday?
What I'm saying is, is this last night,
or is it now tomorrow the th?
This day is the th. It has begun
the th, not ending the th.
Because on the th, I gotta get
my head checked out. Accident.
Feels pretty good though, doesn't it?
Yeah, except for the buzzing
and humming, whatever that is.
Still?
- What did the doctor say?
- When?
You said you had an appointment
on the th. This is the th.
What did he say?
I don't really remember
anything that important.
Up or down?
Make sure you don't get me
in the shot.
OK.
OK.
- Can't see him very well yet, can you?
- No, I'm not focused yet.
Filthy cretin.
This is weird. I feel dizzy.
I don't know why anybody bothers
to roll up their windows.
They steal your radio and then
you gotta have your windows redone.
Scumbags.
OK, this is it.
Come on, let's get him.
Hey, scumball. Get out of the car.
- What are you, cops?
- No, we're FBI.
Come on, get out of the car.
Get out.
Put the radio up. Put it up.
Got that?
- Yeah, I got it.
- What the hell's going on here?
We're gonna take a little walk
to the squad car. Pick your stuff up.
Come on. Got my radio in there too,
probably? Sure.
Where do you work for,
RadioShack?
Now, where do you sell
these radios?
Where do you sell these radios?
I will kill you. Don't try me.
- Are you gonna fuck with me?
- North Western Avenue, sir.
That's a good boy.
That's a good boy.
Did you write the note for the police?
- Was I supposed to write the note?
- Yes.
- What are you doing?
- I'm writing the note.
- That's a labeling machine.
- I know. I just don't want the police
- to recognize my handwriting.
- Pardonne-moi.Here's an unusual story.
Hollywood police reportthat a robbery suspect was left
in front of the police stationearly this morning.Two car radios, which he is accused
of stealing, were taped to his body.That, according to a videotape
and note,which accompanied the radios.
The suspect...
- Do you want a little conditioner?
- Yes, I do.
...no further information is available.Police say the note stated,
"To the police:"This guy stole two car radios
last night."This is a video of his thievery.
If you can't do the job, we can."Signed, the S. O.S."There's no information
on the size of this S. O.S.Or what their intentions may be.We'll keep you updated as more
information on this becomes available.- In other news, a Hollywood man...
- Jimmy.
- Is that my phone?
- No.
- Jimmy.
- Hey, honey.
I just thought I'd get some sun.
I read in the trades they're looking for
a newcomer for that new movie
Urban Nomad.
Get a little color on my face.
- I wanna talk to you.
- What?
- I wanna talk to you.
- Well, sit down.
Not here. William, you too.
- So you did it, didn't you?
- What?
The car-radio guy.
Dropping him off at the police station.
You actually did it, didn't you?
Well, it just so happens, yes,
but how did you know?
- I saw it on the news.
- News? It got on the news?
- Yeah.
- No kidding?
It's bad enough
what the two of you did,
but did you have to leave that note?
Well, I mean, you gotta understand
the circumstances.
- So you guys are now the S.O.S.?
- What?
The note.
You guys are now the S.O.S.?
What did you put in that note?
I just signed it. I mean,
it had to come from somebody.
Yeah, but where'd you come up
with S.O.S.?
- Some movie-producer guy.
- What movie-producer guy?
It's his initials. The guy who did
Gone With the Wind.
- David O. Selznick?
- David?
- I thought his name was Steven.
- No, Steven is Spielberg.
David is O. Selznick.
- I love that Gone With the Wind.
- Please, this is serious.
The television believes there
is some kind of an organization.
Some kind of vigilante organization.
You shouldn't have did that, William.
I mean, you shouldn't have done that.
I mean, I wanted to draw attention
to the... The crime.
- Not the Steven O. Selznick gang.
- Just what you need.
The police are looking for terrorist
or something like that.
Jimmy, you has to promise me
that this is finished.
Lorraine, this is no big to-do.
It's all over with. It's over.
- Really?
- Yes, it's over with.
She's got a point though, William.
You know, keeping quiet on this.
"Frankly, my dear,
I don't give a damn. " That...
- Wasn't that Gone With the Wind?
- Yes, that was Gone With the Wind.
And it was also David O. Selznick.
S.O.S. Steven O. Selznick.
- How long did they run it?
- Three and a half hours.
No.
- I'm asking...
- Gone With the Wind was a little over
- three and half hours.
- Yeah, but...
I'm asking about the news.
The report on the S.O.S.
It was three and a half hours?
What did they do,
a miniseries on the
S.O. S soap pads?
- I thought it was Gone With the Wind.
- No, it was minutes.I know how long
Gone With the Wind was.
What channel was it on?
- That wasn't on that Spanish station?
- No, no, no. English. English.
- Oh, BBC? It was international?
- No, no.
RBI? No, RBZ. RBZ.
We don't have RBC in this country,
Lorraine. RBC.
- ABC?
- No. No, other letters.
- NBC?
- NBC. That's right.
Bingo. I feel like I won something.
The suspect was apprehended by
a group that calls itself the S. O.S.This note was made available
by police officials."To the police: This guy stole
two car radios last night."This is a video of his thievery.
If you can't do the job, we can."Signed, the S. O.S."The police say they have no previous
information on this S. O.S.It seems to be their first act. The size
of the group is undetermined.- Elsewhere in local news, two men...
- S.O.S., I like that.
I wish I'd known they were gonna
put it on television.
I would've made you write something
with a little more flair to it.
Punched it up for you a little bit,
more dramatic.
- "Thievery", I thought was good.
- Which?
- Thievery.
- What are you talking?
- What are you talking about?
- I'm talking to myself. Just ranting,
going on and on about nothing.
Have some more of this tortilla.
She cooks this real good.
It's got potatoes in there,
eggs, everything.
It's good for you. You get eggs.
You don't even have to have breakfast.
They let the guy go,
and they're looking for the S.O.S.
I mean, isn't it amazing? Here we are,
trying to do good, helping to protect,
and what do they do?
They're looking for the kidnappers
of this lowlife scumbag.
All of a sudden we're the villains,
the S.O.S.
- Hey, is that your ad?
- Yeah.
- You look better in your photo.
- Fuck you. Fuck you!
All of a sudden this fucking schmuck
knows something.
He knows something.
It looks the same.
It looks the same.
This is crazy. They're looking
for the head of the organization.
They wanna know what his name is.
- Who?
- The head of the organization.
- Who is he?
- There is no head of the organization.
If they're thinking
there's an organization,
then who's the head
of the organization?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Remember years ago, the SLA?
With Patty Hearst?
This guy Cinque
was the head of the SLA.
That being the case,
the S.O.S. Needs a spokesman.
That'll be my role.
I'll be the spokesman.
The recent decision by the police
to release the prisoner...
Does it look OK...?
How's it look if I stand like this?
It looks like you don't have any arms,
kind of. It looks like...
- No arms? Is that stronger?
- Stronger? I don't know.
- How about this?
- That's good.
- It's good?
- I like that.
It's like, you know,
Superman used to have the S.
- Remember he used to stand like this?
- Yeah.
All right. How is this?
Don't... Don't go like this, William.
You just threw me off.
I'm trying to get into the thing here,
and you... Don't do that.
- What do you want me to do?
- Nod or something.
I know it's running,
I know you're ready.
- I mean, you don't have to...
- I'm pausing it.
- This isn't... This isn't...
- I'll shake my head.
- OK.
- OK.
Are you gonna keep shaking
your head? Don't keep shaking it.
- Just once is enough. OK.
- OK.
This is J- head of the S.O.S.
No, let me do it again.
Let me do it again.
This is J-
cell leader for the S.O.S.
That "cell leader" has
a nice ring to it, don't you think?
Keep the tape rolling.
Keep the tape rolling. Don't stop.
This is J- cell leader of the S.O.S.
The recent decision by... Hold on.
This is K- cell leader of the S.O.S.
Has K- been used
for something else before?
K is a mountain. K is a dog.
Like the J's better?
Who am I?
Who am I?
- You're the leader of the S.O.S.
- I know that, William.
But who is J- ? What do I think?
What do I feel?
How do I know?
You see, William, you gotta think
of this in acting terms.
What happened to me? Where am I
at this point in time in my life?
What happened to get me
where I am?
They stole your radio.
William, this isn't me.
This is the leader of the S.O.S.
I don't wanna play me.
Jimmy Alto isn't the leader
of the S.O.S.
J- is the leader of the S.O.S.
Who is J- ?
William?
As an actor, when you know
who you are, it's easy to talk.
When you don't, you don't know
what's coming next.
You don't know where you are.
I'm an actor playing a vigilante.
That's not enough. It's not enough.
Who am I? Who am I?
I have to know who I am.
Till I know who I am,
the S.O.S. Can't make a statement.
Is that my phone?
No.
This is Jericho,
cell leader of the S. O.S.Let it be known from this day forth
that lawlessness will not be tolerated.This is a promise to all
the good citizens of Hollywood.We give fair warning to the police
and to the judicial system.Protect and serve
the good people of Hollywood,because we will be watching
and waiting.This is our pledge.
"S. O.S. Save our streets. "- Jimmy, what have you done?
- This tape was given exclusivelyto Channel News. We have shown it
to the police, who have issueda statement to the effect that this type
of organization will not be tolerated.They have further stated that they
will fully mobilize the police forceto combat the S. O.S.Should this illegal, criminal
behavior show itself again.As to the leader of the S. O.S.,the police are not discussing
any clues they may have at this time.Earlier this afternoon, a storefront
fire in the Fairfax districtthreatened several commercial
structures. The blaze broke outin a vacant building in the block
of North Fairfax Avenue.
I thought it was pretty good.
What did you think?
I don't know. It took or
goes to get it. I...
I kind of lost my perspective.
Is she OK?
Oh, I better go see
what her problem is.
I wanted to at least let Hollywood
know that there was somebody there.
But the way it was left,
it felt open-ended.
I had to put a cap on it.
This is the end now.
Really?
What did you think of the work?
The work?
Yeah, the work.
What'd you think of Jericho?
Jimmy, you're playing with fire here.
And you wanna know
how your acting was?
Did you believe him?
Yes, yes, I believe him.
Did he seem sympathetic?
See, I felt there was a vulnerability.
I mean, I thought
there was toughness...
...but, you know,
there was vulnerability.
Terry Malloy, On the Waterfront.
Brando.
- He had vulnerability.
- Yeah.
Remember that scene
I always play for you?
- What?
- Eva Marie Saint.
She drops the glove,
he picks it up, tries to put it
on his hand.
He was a boxer, a tough guy,
and he's trying to put
a little white glove on his hand.
Macho into femininity.
It happened all at the same time.
I mean, don't forget,
I was at a disadvantage.
I mean, I was in the shadows.
You couldn't see my eyes.
It all had to be done with the voice.
You know, it put me
at a big disadvantage.
But I thought I came across
threatening, tough... And vulnerable.
- I had vulnerability too, right?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
OK. I'm gonna take a bath.
You know, another thing
you gotta remember too,
it was the first time I played Jericho.
I mean, I'm not gonna do it,
but imagine if I got
more familiar with him.
I mean, if I was allowed to do
an - or -minute piece on Jericho
instead of a one-minute clip,
think of it that way.
This is a promise to all
the good citizens of Hollywood.We give fair warning to the police
and to the judicial system.Protect and serve
the good people of Hollywood,because we will be
watching and waiting.- This is our pledge. "S. O.S.
- It's even better with repeated viewing."Save our streets. "
Definitely better
with repeated viewing.
Jimmy.
Men with ties.
- Detectives, looks like.
- Yeah.
You think they're looking
into the S.O.S.?
The car-radio guy could have
told them the street.
I wonder if they'll come
and question me.
It would be interesting
questioning me, don't you think?
I could do a real number
if they question me.
"Where were you on the night
of so-and-so?"
I could really do a number.
Do you want to go out for breakfast
and leave me at work?
Yeah, yeah.
You know, they question me,
I could play it real quiet.
Long pauses, you know.
I'd drive them crazy. Pause, pause.
I'd play this real deliberate
kind of a guy. I'll make them nuts.
They just didn't know,
is what I think he was saying.
He mentioned an M.R.I., and they said
maybe they'd see something.
See, I definitely
don't remember things well.
I don't know.
What do you think, Jimmy?
I don't know.
"This is M.R.I. This is M.R.I."
- I think Jericho's better.
- I got you a lollipop.
- Is that root beer?
- No.
Well, I like root beer.
You know, when you get this M.R.I.,
you're gonna see everything's gonna
be OK, so don't worry, you know.
You're just a little preoccupied.
That's why you're blanking.
- You think so?
- Yeah.
Look at this. We gotta get
right behind this bus now.
These people, they kill everybody
with these fumes.
They should put something
on these things.
I mean, look, this is disgusting.
Oh, good, there's Craig. Craig!
How big is this part?
It's a nice little role. It takes place
in one of the underground clubs.
Oh, yeah? Well, I mean,
if this isn't a lead role,
I might be wasting my time. Don't you
have some other principal roles there?
These are the roles we're casting.
I understand that.
What about the principal roles?
- Were they already cast?
- This is what we're casting right now.
I can't tell you about anything else.
Well, I came for a principal role.
Well, this is all we have.
The ad in the trades
said a principal role.
This is not a principal role.
This is a little role here. One line.
- Do you have a picture and résumé?
- He's got his own bus-bench ad.
He's right. I have a bus bench
right on Sunset.
Right at the gates of Bel Air. A big
advertisement, cost me a lot of money,
and as we speak, I have new pictures
being made. I mean, you...
- Excuse me.
- What? What?
- What's your name?
- Jimmy Alto. Who are you?
I'm Rob Weiss, the film's director.
The director. How are you, Rob?
It's a pleasure to meet you.
We were just discussing over
some roles that are available here.
I wanna read him for Lewis. I think
you'd be interested in this part of Lewis.
- Who's Lewis? He's a principal?
- He's a principal.
- Now we're talking, see?
- He's gonna come with me.
I wanna do this.
Do you have time to do this?
Well, I have to run across town. I have
another appointment with a director,
but I can push that appointment off.
I don't think you have
any other appointments.
- It's a little later, the appointment.
- He's a lot like Lewis.
If you come with us
to the end of the hall,
maybe you could do some work.
Take a couple minutes.
Sure. No problem at all.
Thanks for your help, sweetheart.
You know, Rob, this girl
has a bit of an attitude. I mean,
she tried to dismiss me like I was
some kind of an extra or something.
- We might have missed each other.
- Yeah, well, we'll take care of that.
So did you happen to see any of that
S.O.S. Stuff on the news last night?
- The what?
- The S.O.S. Story with Jericho.
I think you're going way over
my head here.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
I thought you said that Channel
was the number one
news station, William.
Jimmy, I want you to understand
something here.
All right, this is a very
inexpensive film.
So it's not really scripted.
Well, there's not a "script" script.
So we're gonna improv a lot of it.
It's gonna be real loose.
Hey, that's when I'm at my best.
When I'm loose.
When I'm free, you know.
You give me words, sometimes it pulls
me down, you know what I mean?
I have this guy outside in the hall
who's gonna play Tom.
I'm gonna bring him in here. I want
you guys to do some improv for me.
- Hey, no problem.
- So I get a feel.
- Get really loose with him.
- Hey, it's a principal role. Of course.
Loosening up my voice. Sorry.
Get up now, you big tub of guts.
Hey, all the heads of the family,
I want them all here.
So, what do you wanna do?
You wanna kill them?
Because I'll kill them.
I'll kill him if that's
what you want me to do.
Oh, so you wanna kill him.
What are you saying, I can't?
- Because I'll kill him.
- It's just that you seemed
a little ambivalent about it.
You see something in these eyes
that says I'm ambivalent?
Guess which one of your favorite actors
got the second lead in Urban Nomad.
- Really?!
- That's right.
Jimmy Alto. Remember that name.
Urban Nomad.
Probably be out at the beginning
of next year sometime.
- Is that my phone?
- No.
Hi, this is Jimmy Alto.
I'm on a set right now,so please leave a message
or a fax. Thanks.Hi, this is Linda
from Rob Weiss' office.We've been trying
to get in touch with you.Unfortunately, we've had to go with
our second choice for the role of Lewis.We're very sorry, Mr. Alto.
Thank you again for coming in....vivid personalities lift,
if only for a time,the burden of battle.Stars like Al Jolson,Debbie Reynolds,Mickey Rooneyand Marilyn Monroe.This is a traditional scene.A traditional thing for a star to do.For it was established long agothat when the nation went to war,
Hollywood went too.
It's a shame, you know that?
It all happened before I got here.
This was the mecca for dreams.
This place used to sparkle.
Could rub shoulders with movie stars
walking along the Boulevard.
Glamour.
Look at Hollywood now.
No wonder I can't make it.
It's over. It's over.
You know something, William?
Gotham had Batman.
Hollywood needs the S.O.S.
I just realized it.
They need Jericho.
We gotta get some better
television coverage, you know?
You believe the police
can't see this shit?
Seems pretty amazing, doesn't it?
We're gonna
just keep taping everything.
Send all the tapes to the TV station.
Put it all on television.
Let the people see
just how fucked up all this is.
Right in plain view.
You remember that Medfly problem?
It was a little, tiny Medfly.
They tracked it down,
and they caught it in Hancock Park.
And they can't find
these drug dealers.
Well, we're gonna be the watchdogs.
The guardians.
Look what they've done
to my Hollywood.
Relax, William.
What are you guys up to?
I don't think that's any
of your fucking business.
Yes, it is, actually. My friends,
they have a thing about being taped.
Really?
So,
what do you suggest we do?
I suggest you stop taping.
Now, give me the tape.
Get away, or I'll put a bullet
through your fucking head.
He shot his own guy.
William, you OK?
- William?
- Yeah, I'm OK.
This place is crazy. What, does
everybody have a gun? What is it?
- I loved that car.
- You really didn't have much choice.
Those guys talk, they finger the car,
we're dead.
Yeah, but I loved that car.
We came to Hollywood together
a long time ago.
These drug dealers operate openly
and freely in the Hollywood area.The wounding of one
of the drug dealers occurredwhen he went up against
two members of the S. O.S. Force.Let this be a signal.
Don't tread on us.We will never initiate
aggressive action,but we will certainly return gunfire
when deemed appropriate.
I can't take this, Jimmy.
I can't live this way.
- What?
- Don't you see how wrong this is?
Don't you understand?
Is there something wrong with you?
Jericho. That's good, that's good.
With William, it's understandable.
He doesn't know any better.
At best, he's half there.
Are you telling me
that this is not effective?
It's great acting. I mean, come on,
Lorraine, look how believable this is.
Jimmy, somebody was shot.
You could have been killed. Dead!
We're really not at liberty right now
to talk about the specifics of the case.But we do have several leads, yes.
Oh, my God, Jimmy,
they're gonna get you.
They gonna put you in prison.
- ... statement from Jericho,
- Yes!Leader of Hollywood's...
Look at this. They're paying attention.
They're all paying attention.
It's a media blitz. It works.
It works. Jericho works.
It's a great role, Lorraine.
- In it, Jericho warned
- It's a great role.Other lawbreakers
not to challenge them.
I'm gonna be at Janet's
for a couple of days.
I have to go. I can't even
talk to you about this anymore.
You can't talk to me?
You can't talk to me? You...
You're out of the Oscar speech!
"Ride the RTD."
Rapid Transit District, my ass.
Six blocks, four hours.
William! Come on, you're zoning.
What are you doing over here?
Now you gotta blank out?
What do you think?
This the place the guy brings
the radios after he rips them off?
. I never forget a number.
Yep.
Nobody's making a living
selling this shit, that's for sure.
Hello there, gentlemen.
What can I do for you?
I thought you might have
some radios here.
- Radios?
- Yeah, you know, car radios.
Well, what you see is what we got.
Yeah, you got
great merchandise here.
It must just fly out of the door.
Listen, I got a very good friend
says you got some car radios here.
Oh? What's his name?
He doesn't like people
to mention his name.
Well, I don't do business
with strangers.
Oh, no?
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Oh, I'm sorry, guys.
Sorry, sorry. I thought
there was a bathroom in here.
Who the fuck are you?
What are you, a cop?
It's obvious they got
stolen merchandise
up the gazoo in the back
of that place.
What are you thinking about?
You wanna get your radio back?
- Is that what you're thinking about?
- I don't even have my car anymore.
What the fuck would I want
my radio for?
Well, so then what are you
thinking about, then?
I'm thinking the S.O.S.
Should torch that place.
At least I'm sure that's what
Jericho's thinking.
Put that thieving ring
out of business.
- The big question is...
- What?
What do we do for transportation?
Well, where do you wanna go?
Maybe we could do a carjacking.
What's a car jacket?
- What?
- Car jacket?
Not a car jacket. Carjacking.
They stick a gun in somebody's face
and say, "Give me your car",
and the people give them the car
and they go.
We're not real thieves.
Jericho came up to me
and said S. O.S. Needed my carfor one of their missions. He said
they would return it. And they did,with a full tank of gas
and a very nice note thanking me.
Know what I like about you, William?
- What?
- You're always right there,
no questions asked.
You're right there.
I need a gun, you get me a gun.
I'm gonna burn down a building,
you're there.
Thank you, Jimmy.
You know, there's an advantage
to this memory-lapse thing I have.
I keep forgetting all the bad times.
Well, I remember quite a few.
Enough for both of us.
What? You were gonna
say something, I can tell.
- What?
- New York.
- What about it?
- You know, it's named after York.
And then there's New Jersey,
which is named after Jersey.
And then there's New Zealand.
Where is Zealand?
Yeah.
Where's Zealand?
The fire began early this morning.Once again, it seems to be
the work of the S. O.S.We received this tape
from the S. O.S. Leader, Jericho.This store was a front
for stolen items.From car radios to televisions
and stereos,most of which were drug-related.The S. O.S. Will not allow this operation
to continue with business as usual.We're out there,the watchdogs of Hollywood.That's all for now."S. O.S. Save our streets. "In other news...
I just get better and better.
I mean, I don't know.
I hope it's not me, you know,
I'm not putting too much into it,
but I get better and better.
You wanna get some breakfast?
We just got through eating.
No, I'm only kidding.
I know you blank all the time,
so I took a shot.
I'll be right back.
Is this Janet's apartment?
Yes, it is.
- Is Lorraine here?
- No.
The two of them went to Big Bear
for the weekend, I think.
I'm Holly, Janet's cousin.
I'm visiting from Hawaii for a while.
I'm Jimmy, Lorraine's friend.
You wanna come in for a minute?
Sure. Yeah.
Oh, sure.
I was just watching a piece on
that S.O.S. Group you got out here.
- Pretty wild.
- Oh, you think so?
Oh, yeah.
Everybody's talking about it.
- Really?
- Yeah.
I had to go to the market
the other day,
and there were people at the register
talking about it.
And what do you think
of the situation?
I think it's a good idea.
I mean, there's a lot of crime, and
they're out there making a difference.
Plus, they're not hurting
the good people.
Right. And what about
this Jericho guy, their leader?
What do you think of him?
Oh, well, I think he's right.
I think it's brave, what he's doing.
Do you?
Yeah, well, I've always been
really into that kind of thing.
You know, kind of underground stuff.
Sort of adventurous, you know?
Yeah.
French Resistance.
I'm not familiar with them.
I guess it's unimportant.
Doesn't matter.
Do you want something to drink?
Yeah. Let's see,
you got any liquor here?
I'll take a look.
I don't know what she has.
Yeah. Nothing with any pineapple.
- So, what do you do, Jimmy?
- I'm an actor.
Can you imagine
what it's like to be in some
super-police military thing?
You know? He's like
a Batman or something.
That's right. That's right.
It's very dangerous.
Imagine putting your life
on the line,
not knowing if you're gonna
live or die.
- This Jericho is some kind of guy.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I mean, he must be a pretty
extraordinary person.
Special.
I wonder
if he's like a Bruce Wayne.
You know, a wealthy guy
that does that.
Because you'd have to have
some kind of money
to train that whole group
and arm them and everything.
What if I told you...
...that I know someone
in the S.O. S?
And that someone...
Hello?
Hi, honey.
I miss you too.
Hold on a second.
I'm gonna be on a while.
It's OK. I forgot that I have
an appointment. I'm gonna run.
- OK.
- OK.
- Hi, honey.
- No, I feel better.I might be able to
walk down the street tonight.Well, I think the S. O.S.
Is doing a really good job.I'm a big fan of
the Death Wish movies.I'm tired of being a hostage
in my neighborhood.If this is gonna get rid of crime,
I say, "Why not?"- It's time the bad guys were victims.
- I wish I could join S. O.S.I'm a young girl, I'm single, I'm in this
town by myself. I don't feel safe.The police could never intimidate
them the way the S. O.S. Can,and I am just... I'm so happy
to have Jericho here.
Jericho again. They love Jericho.
There's hope for this city
now that they're here.The S. O.S. Is apparently striking
a favorable nerve in Hollywood.In an unofficial telephone survey
conducted by this station,over percent
of Hollywood residents...
It's a hit. It's a rave review.
It's as good as a review
if it was a show.
Eighty percent. Eighty percent.
Look at this.
Another drive-by shooting.
You know what's amazing?
It's on page three of the Metro section.
I mean, it's become so commonplace,
it's on page three of the Metro section.
It's ridiculous. Makes me sick.
What do you wanna do today?
I don't know.
What do you got in mind?
I wanna go see a movie.
- I wanna go see The Mummy.
- The Mummy?Will, don't start with The Mummy, OK?
It's a little early.My father let me stay up and watch
Fright Night. That's when I first saw it.You know what I could never figure out
about The Mummy?
Is how he always used to walk with,
you know, one arm behind him
- and a leg dragging...
- Will, Will.
I know.
Let me ask you a question.
How come the only time
you mention your father
is with this Fright Night
Mummy thing?
Don't you have any other memories?
I remember he used to
call me useless.
He did, huh?
Well, let me tell you something.
I was a salesman, and I can size up
people's characters pretty good.
And you have a lot of potential.
A lot of potential.
Don't let anybody
tell you different. Ever.
You just haven't clicked with
the right thing yet. But when you do,
boom, you're gonna be on your way.
Big things are gonna happen for you.
Trust me.
A lot of potential.
- Potential.
- Right.
- Who's this?
- Steve.
You've seen each other.
All right, all right. This time.
Don't bring nobody else new, man.
Stick up your hands, please.
Don't turn around. Don't turn around.
You want the money?
Take the money.
- No, no. We don't want your money.
- You don't want the money?
Yes, we do. Yes, we do. It's not cheap
running a terrorist organization here.
- Hey, he's got a gun. He's got a gun!
- OK, give it up!
- Give it up! I got it!
- Get it! Get it! Get it!
- Look this way.
- What are we gonna tie him with?
What do you wanna do with him?
We can't take him to the police station.
It's been done already.
Why don't we just keep him captive,
like the Hezbollah.
Hezbollah?
Where could we put him?
We can't keep him at my place.
I guess I can keep him at my place
for one day. I mean, it's safe.
Lorraine's out of town anyway.
Come on, let's go.
The fuck was that
you were listening to?
Listen to me clearly.
You have been sentenced to five years
in an S.O.S. Holding cell.
- You will be chained to a bed.
- Chained to the bed?
I ain't with no freaky stuff, man.
Y'all just kill me right now.
You saw the way the American
hostages were treated?
You will be treated
in the same fashion,
- as an enemy of the people.
- Enemy of the people?
I got a few character flaws,
but I ain't no enemy of the people.
I just like nice things.
S.O.S. Save our souls.
That's my parking.
I miss you, Jimmy.
I miss you too.
I hate myself for coming back,
but what am I gonna do?
I don't wanna be out
of your Oscar speech.
You're not gonna be out
of my Oscar speech.
Wait. Wait, please.
I have to go to the bathroom.
He's gone crazy. Jimmy!
- What?
- Have you lost your mind?
Oh, listen. Let's go in the other room.
I don't want him to hear us.
Are you crazy? OK, OK.
What the hell is this guy doing
in my bathtub bound and gagged?
- I didn't know you were coming home.
- Oh, that explains it.
There's a fantastic answer.
See, what we're doing is kind of like
a Hezbollah kind of thing.
- You say Hezbollah?
- Hezbollah, yeah, you know,
- the Lebanese stuff?
- Yeah.
- The terrorist group?
- Yeah.
Yeah, the ones that take
the hostages.
See, I just didn't wanna drop him off
at the police station.
A drug-dealing thing.
I mean, we've already done that.
So, what we're doing is we're
setting up, like, an intimidation factor.
You know?
Hey, listen, do you know how many
tourists visit Beirut a year? Do you?
- No, no.
- None. Zip. Nada.
Do you know how many visit L.A.?
Millions. And there's more killings
in L.A. Than there is in Beirut.
There's more crime in Los Angeles
than there is in Beirut.
- And you know why?
- No.
Hezbollah. Hezbollah.
They're scared shitless about that
Hezbollah kind of stuff, that's why.
What the hell are you talking about,
Jimmy? What are you talking about?
There is a man in my bathtub.
Intimidating a criminal,
that's what I'm talking about.
The police don't intimidate them.
So big deal, they get arrested.
They do six months to a year.
They go into the cells,
they watch television,
they do exercises. Big deal.
The S.O.S., you know
what we're gonna do?
The S.O.S. Intimidates
the criminal element.
Tie them to a bed for five years,
scare the shit out of them.
So you want me to actually live in
this house here with the hostages?
Is that the next step, Jimmy?
I get up with you early in the morning
and feed the hostages.
- Is that it?
- No, no. This is a one-day thing.
I'm letting this guy go.
I want him to go back into the
community and spread the message.
Intimidation.
To think, a couple of days' work
on a soap opera or something
might have prevented this.
Jimmy,
where are we supposed to go
from here?
Well, listen,
I'm gonna get rid of this scumbag
right after dark,
but I don't know what's gonna happen
from there.
You're becoming another one
of those media freaks.
Those people they keep making
into celebrities.
This is not about "celebrity-ism".
This is about the craft of acting.
It's not a vigilante who's popular,
it's an actor portraying a vigilante.
The people believe Jericho.
That's, like, the true tribute
to my acting ability.
Lorraine, look,
I love you.
But let me at least
enjoy the fame a little.
You stay down for five minutes.
Otherwise, I'll be back. You got it?
- Yeah, man.
- OK, man.
This was supposed to have been
Errol Flynn's house.
Can you imagine overlooking
Hollywood?
Looking right down on it.
Warner Bros. Right over the hill.
You finish Captain Blood,
you come home,
you got a nice living room,
you sit down.
The butler gives you the new script
from the studio.
Go dancing at Ciro's.
All those things.
Imagine me coming home
in the evening, Lorraine.
We get ready to go out.
You put on a gown,
I put on a tuxedo.
Dancing with the big dance bands.
Going to some grand premiere
at the Grauman's Chinese.
Imagine if I was here back then.
I'd be as big as Cagney.
As big as Edward G. Robinson.
I would've been right there with them,
at Ciro's and The Brown Derby.
Schmoozing.
"Hey, Eddie G., how you doing?"
"Who's that? Oh, it's Jimmy Alto.
Hey, Jimmy, how you doing?
"Sit down. You know Cagney. "
"Hey, how you doing?"
I'd have been right there with them.
Rubbing shoulders with
the best of them.
But there's nothing there anymore.
It's over.
There's nothing down there now
but a bunch of dead stars and cement.
In Madrid, all I ever dream about
was Hollywood.
This is not the Hollywood
I see in the movies.
It's not.
Hear that music?
- You don't hear that dance band?
- Oh, yeah.
Let's dance.
Do you have any idea
why a black Range Roverwas parked in your parking space
last Friday, August th?No. In fact, I haven't even
been back there in a few days.- You have a car?
- Yes.Well, why don't you park
your car there?Because it's a new one.I mean, I just picked it up today,
as a matter of fact.So......until today, you didn't have a car?
That's exactly it. I had a car.
I mean, it burned. It caught fire.
- Burned.
- Burned.
"Deader than a doornail. "
- Remember that?
- No.
Postman Always Rings Twice.
Johnny Garfield.
Remember he said that to the cop?
That's why I said it to you.
You're a cop. I said it to you.
He said it...
The cop said it to him. He said it back.
"Deader than a doornail. " Remember?
Don't you remember in Body and Soul,
he said:
"What are you gonna do, kill me?
Everybody dies"?
A lot of people say
I'm reminiscent of Garfield too.
Yeah, well, you're pretty good.
- Well...
- Yeah.
What you do, I guess you guys
are good too.
Hey, who knows, maybe we'll work
together again sometime.
Bang, bang.
Yeah.
Well, they're obviously onto us.
They must have a little bit more
than they're making on to, you know?
What do we do?
What's the next step?
I don't know. I'm not sure. I've never
been in a spot like this before.
Sure gets your adrenaline going,
doesn't it?
Gets you all pumped up.
Feel like we're making some
momentum now.
I mean, they're snooping,
we're moving.
I'd like to try something new,
rather than just making statements
all the time.
A monologue. A soliloquy.
Some shit like that.
Maybe I just gotta reinvent myself
a little bit.
Reinvent yourself?
How do you reinvent yourself?
Oh, that's deep acting stuff.
It's past Strasberg and...
What's the Russian...?
The Russian...?
- This Russian guy, the other Method...
- Gretzky?
Gretzky? That's hockey.
Stanislavsky. That's it.
Hockey. Gretzky.
It's not your fault.
You're not supposed to know anyway.
It's my back yard.
I'm supposed to know.
The name slipped my mind.
The name slipped my mind.
Stanislavsky. Yeah, it's deep.
Worry about the camera.
Worry about the camera.
Just get that camera right
when I nail it.
Because I got them right now.
I know I do.
Fuck.
I think those detectives
are following me.
Don't turn around.
They're following me around now.
So I think the time has come.
Yeah, what we're figuring is we're
gonna get out of town a little bit.
All right, look, meet me at
the Errol Flynn house at : .
Errol Flynn, OK.
Hey, William.
Come on, you want a hot dog?
I'll treat you.
Let me have two dogs
and a couple of lemonades.I don't want a...
I don't want a lemonade.
- You don't want lemonade?
- No.
No, my father, he gave me
a lemonade when I was a little kid.
He let me stay up
and watch Fright Night.
You know, this might be a good time
to split up, Will.
You and Lorraine?
No, me and you.
See, if I get in the car and drive away,
those cops will follow me.
You can just walk away, home free.
No.
They'll never find you.
No.
I feel responsible. I mean,
I'm the one that got us into this.
You shouldn't have to
go through this.
I started the S.O.S.
That's right.
I forgot, you're the founder.
You sure?
Yeah, I wanna stay with you.
Thanks.
Hey, where'd you go for
those dogs, the ASPCA?
Let's go. We got cops
chasing us over here.
Shake them up a little.
They still there?
These guys must know more
than they're letting on.
They must not have enough, though.
They'd pull us over, right?
Are you gonna try and lose them?
Yeah, we gotta lose them.
How'd they lose those cops
in all those fucking movies?
They always lose them.
Wait, fuck. We just did.
We just lost them.
They're at the light.
They got caught in the light.
If I was a cop, I'd go through it.
Fucking dopes.
So this is for the best,
don't you think?
I could've been good for this town.
I think I could've been
a hell of an actor.
It takes more than talent, Jimmy.
I'm sorry I didn't take you dancing
to Ciro's.
I would have liked to have seen you
in a tuxedo.
Just once.
It would've been fantastic.
That's just a little too overwhelming.
I don't know what I should do.
Kiss you, hug you
or slap the shit out of you.
I gotta go.
Go.
I can't believe I didn't make it.
I used to visualize the people
back East saying:
"Remember Jimmy Alto, we used to
call him 'Jimmy Hollywood'?
"He went out to California,
made it big. "
I just can't believe it.
I really feel bad for Lorraine, you know.
She had her heart set on, you know,
the whole beauty-salon thing.
I mean, with my contacts,
she could've became the first
woman hairdresser to the stars.
She could've been as big as
Cristophe or José Eber, I mean...
She had a great name for it too,
don't you think?
She had a great name for it too,
don't you think?
Lorraine de la Peña.
Like Oscar de la Renta.
At least Hollywood's gonna
remember Jericho.
I just wish they knew that
he was played by Jimmy Alto.
- What do you make of this shit?
- I don't know.
Hey, you think this is that guy
that got shot?
I don't know. I can't tell from here.
I can't tell.
What the fuck
am I gonna do here, William?
I don't know.
These might be other guys.
Other lowlifes.
I knew I should have worn
my seat belt.
Motherfuckers!
These guys are playing games.
I hate guys who give me
the high beams.
What the hell was that
all about, huh?
Do you think it was that drug guy
we put in the bathtub?
I don't know. I don't know.
I mean, they obviously didn't know
we were the S.O.S., right?
I mean, imagine if we were just average
citizens and didn't know what to do.
I mean, we could have got hurt.
Why us, out of the clear blue sky?
It just goes to show you, I mean, the
craziness that's going on around here.
It's crazy.
I don't think we can leave town
just yet.
First, Jimmy Alto's gotta go public.
Before I leave town, I go public.
One last hurrah.
- You think that's a good idea?
- Yeah.
I mean, if you're gonna take a hit show
off the air, you gotta go out in style.
You gotta leave them
with some kind of a hook.
Yeah.
Reveal the identity of Jericho.
Jimmy Alto is Jericho.
You know, if I'm gonna make
my farewell speech,
I'll need an appropriate setting.
Something, someplace
that speaks Hollywood.
The Hollywood Bowl, that's it.
Jimmy Alto at the Hollywood Bowl,
one night only.
What do you think?
The Hollywood Bowl.
I mean, look at this. This is great.
What are you gonna do?
You gonna find better than this?
What the hell am I gonna say?
What am I gonna say?
You know, let's face it, Will.
You know, we actually did some good.
You know? I mean, that was not
the purpose, but what the hell, huh?
Yeah, crime is down.
I forget how much, but it is down.
Why was I going public?
I can't even remember the reason now.
You think it was those drug guys
from the other time?
I don't know. I don't know.
It's hard to tell the lunatics
from one another. I don't know.
It's insanity.
What do you want, motives?
It's not like this is
Murder, She Wrote, William.
I mean, there are no motives
anymore.
They could've been playing games.
I don't know who they were.
I mean, it's all insanity.
You wanna make logic out of insanity?
What am I gonna say?
I'm trying to think.
Is today the th?
I don't know. Why?
Because I got my M.R.I. Appointment
on the th, you know?
Oh, that's wonderful, Will.
We have police closing in on us,
lowlifes smashing into the car,
they shoot at us,
and you're wondering about
your doctor's appointment?
You'll probably get a bullet
in your fucking head
before you get a chance
to do your M.R.I.
What am I gonna say?
What the hell am I gonna say?
What a time not to know
what to say.
I mean, I have a chance to say it right
here and be in everybody's living room,
and I can't think
of anything to say. Shit.
What a minute.
This is the th.
Jimmy! This is the th.
I got my appointment with the doctor
for my M.R.I. Thing today.
William, we are leaving town.
Do you understand that we are
getting out of town?
I know, but it's gonna take
forever to reschedule.
Can't I just go do my M.R.I. Thing
right now,
and then we can both
scoot out of town then?
The sun's coming up.
I want this speech to work
at the appropriate moment,
like Easter Sunday services,
with that light just breaking through.
What do you think? Are you sure?
The vigilante Jericho
has made his name knownin the following videotape.Hello, Mr. And Mrs. Hollywood.This is Jimmy Alto,better known to you as Jericho.It's a very sad time for the S. O.S.The police are forcing us
to leave town.
I'll come back and pick you up.
What do you think? A couple hours?
I don't know. It could be.
I got the Sony Watchman and the
Hollywood and the Stars tapes,
so I'll just watch that, OK?
They're in here.
- Be careful, don't lose my tapes.
- I won't.
It's just a matter of time before
they get me, but think about this:Look at the time and energy
the police are spending to find meand the members of the S. O.S.
A task force.But are we a threat to the citizens
of this city? No.Has the S. O.S. Ever robbed or raped
or killed citizens of this city? No.Is this same police energy directed
towards the S. O.S.Also applied to the criminal element
of this city? No.People are afraid to go out at night
for fear of being robbed or killed.Women are terrified to go into
underground parking garagesfor fear of being attacked.We're guaranteed in
the Declaration of Independencelife, liberty and the pursuit
of happiness.
No, the police just left.
The shit's really gonna hit
the fan now.
- What are you talking about?
- Well, I've gone public.
I made a video saying that Jericho
is really Jimmy Alto.
No, don't tell me that.
I can't talk now, but I'm bigger
than ever. I've gone public.
I'm defying them to come and get me.
That's what my message is.
Jimmy, listen to me. Listen to me.
I can't. I can't, I gotta run.
Clock's ticking, honey.
I'll call you when I get
wherever it is I'm going. Bye.
Look what's happening
to the quality of our life.What kind of liberty is it
when the innocent peoplehave to live behind bars
to protect themselves?How can we pursue our happiness
when we live in fear?I think we could sue the government
of the United States,because our civil rights
are being violated.This is a society that's being strangled
to death by the criminal element.And what's being done?What is being done is
they're trying to get Jericho.They're trying to get the S. O.S.
- He's very convincing.
- Yeah, he's a good actor.
But he's not a vigilante.
That's the problem.
- He's not a vigilante?
- No.
Police Chief Cummings had this to
say about the Jimmy Alto speech:I think this man Jimmy Alto
is missing the point.The reason we're trying to get him
as quickly as possibleis we can't allow anarchy
on our streets.
Anarchy? You got anarchy
up the ass, pal.
Anarchy with cappuccino.
...we cannot sanction that type
of behavior.
What the hell is going on?
...present time, there are over
policemen assignedto track down Jimmy Alto
and the S. O.S.Detectives on the special task forceestimate there are to
members of the S. O.S.And we believe them to be
heavily armed and dangerous.
Excuse me.
I must be a mirage.
Excuse me, do you know
where I might find William?
- William who?
- William. Little guy,
got a hat on, head problems,
here to see... He's getting an M.R.I.
I must have a last name, sir.
William... William, I don't know.
Sorry, I must have the last name.
William!
William.
Aren't you Jimmy Alto?
I just saw your Jericho speech
- on the television.
- Oh, yeah?
I think it's a wonderful thing
you're doing.
- Thank you.
- I'd love to have your autograph.
- Oh, well, I don't have a pen.
- You're a hell of a guy, Jimmy Alto.
I agree percent.
- What channel did you see it on?
- On PBS.
Señor Vigilante.
Jimmy.
Where the hell you been?
I've been looking all over for you.
When?
- What do you mean, "when"?
- I got you a root beer.
Oh, shit, look at this.
It's really dark in here.
- Where'd you get that?
- The car-radio guy.
Let me see that.
What the hell building is this?
Looks like a pyramid, don't it?
These look like Egyptian hieroglyphics.
- Isn't that where they bury mummies?
- Don't worry, Will.
He's not even in Philadelphia yet.
What do we do now?
I don't know.
I guess the best thing to do
is to wait until dark,
and then we'll sneak out of here.
Good afternoon.
Breaking news in Hollywood.Hollywood police have surrounded
the old Egyptian Theatre,- Ten minutes.
- where they apparently havecornered the man
who calls himself Jericho,who we now know is Jimmy Alto.Did you bring my Hollywood tapes?
- Yeah.
- Get them out.
The Egyptian Theatre's been derelict
for some time,
so it's conceivable that it could be
the S.O.S. Headquarters.
We intend to cordon off the area and
make sure the situation is contained.
Do you think they could have
explosives in there?
...there has been absolutely
no movement,
but so far no shots have been fired.
But we still don't know from police
how many people there are inside.
Police have the situation
basically under control.
It's basically wait and see
what will Jimmy Alto's
next move be.
As you can see
from the number of police...
For the hopefuls who have flocked
to Hollywood through the years,the studios were citadels
to be conquered.Because there were so many
who came,hoping to succeed in pictures,the producers hid themselves
from their onslaughtbehind their bars and walls.From the outside,the studios can seem as bleak
and uninviting as fortresses.I think it takes a great deal to......withhold and withstandthe mass competition
that you do haveand to not give up.Because it's very easy to give up.There are roles that you think
you just are on the verge of getting,and then it turns out
they go to someone else.They still come, the young aspirants
to Hollywood success.One sees them like moths,
fluttering in the glare of neon lights.Hollywood is a town in transition.Hollywood promises to become
part of another supercity,like a lot of supercities in America.But the dream persists
that there is still magic here.At night, from a high building
or hilltop,when the lights of the city
are like beacons down below,the dream persists.Can the police estimate
just how many members of the S. O.S.May be inside the theater
at this point?Well, if they can, they're certainly not
giving us any information about that,but judging from the manpower
they have outsideand the weapons they're carrying,
they're ready to take on an army.Well, are they speculating,
or could you, perhaps, speculateon just how long this standoff
can last, Paul?Are the police considering
forcing their way into the building?
Great documentary, huh?
Great documentary.
Think I'm just gonna
have a look around a little bit.
...rather quickly since earlier today,when this station
received the latest S. O. S...
- Jimmy. Jimmy.
- What?
You don't have to go
take a look around.
- What?
- It's all right here.
What are you talking about?
There's, like, a million cops out there.
...Jimmy Alto, an unemployed actor
who lives in Hollywood.
Holy shit.
All those people are out there?
Yeah.
So much for sneaking out
inconspicuously tonight, huh?
...and have secured the building.
Yes! Look at this, Will.
Fans. They're our fans.
One thing I wanna point out to you
when you see it,all these people out here,
it's like an old Hollywood premiere.
They're a fan club. The police want
Jericho, or Jimmy Alto, in custody.
These people want to applaud him.
In Hollywood, we have the hyphenate
of actor/writer, producer/director.
Well, now we have a new
hyphenate: Actor/vigilante.
Jimmy Alto, we know him as Jericho...
Well, there's still a tremendous amount
of police activity here...
...special weapons and tactics team
continue to...
...new information that Jericho
may actually be an actor.
Well, as far as I'm concerned,
he's a vigilante.
If he's an actor,
he's playing on the wrong stage.
We've managed to obtain a video
of Jimmy Alto's taped audition...
Look, look, they got...
They got your audition tape.
- Apparently, he did not get the part.
- Let me see that beauty.
- They're showing it on television?
- Yeah.
What are you saying, I can't?
Because I'll kill him.
See, now, this one I did better
in another take.
Why'd they put that take in there?
- He's not dangerous.
- Think you can get him out of here?
- He's just an actor.
- Police have apparently persuadedJimmy Alto's girlfriend, Lorraine
de la Peña, to negotiate with Alto,in hopes of coaxing
the S. O.S. Leader- out of the theater peacefully.
- Jimmy Alto.- Jimmy, this is the police.
- Here. Don't look up at the ceiling.
He's right there.
We have Lorraine out here,
out in front.
She wants to talk to you.
I better get out there.
Watch... Watch on this.
Stay here, just in case.
She is now walking up to
the front doors of the theater.
Hey, Lorraine.
I think it would be good if we talked.
Come on in.
Show's about to begin.
What happened?
How the hell did you end up here?
Well, William's M.R.I. Took a little
longer than we thought it would,
and, I don't know,
one thing led to another and...
Yes, one thing leads to another,
but not to this.
This building is surrounded.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. It's like an army out there.
Hollywood Boulevard
is really happening, huh?
You have to come out.
Hey, did you see they showed
my audition tape on television,
- from Urban Nomad?
- Yes.- From Urban Nomad?
- Yes.
I thought it was pretty good,
what'd you think?
Yes, Jimmy, very good.
You know, they used to show
classic movies in this place.
OK, let's get William,
and we'll go out together. OK?
I'm not gonna give up, Lorraine.
Not now.
This is the greatest role of my life.
You've got to know how
crazy this is, Jimmy.
They will kill you.
They're ready.
I'll never get another role
as good as Jericho.
Nothing this good.
You never know.
I do know.
I'm a one-role actor.
Brando, he's an actor.
Stanley Kowalski,
Streetcar Named Desire.Terry Malloy, On the Waterfront.The Godfather.
I don't have that in me.
Think of it this way, Jimmy.
Look at all the attention
you're getting.
And the charges against you
probably won't be that great.
You'll be out in a couple of years.
And you'll be acting, for sure.
This is the role,
I'm gonna play it out.
You've played it out, Jimmy.
It's over.
No, it's not over.
Every great role has a great ending.
I am not gonna cheat that.
I want you
to take William out with you.
- William!
- Yeah?
Come here.
- What happened? What?
- I want you to do me a favor.
Hey, Lorraine, we saw you
on the little TV here.
You look good,
you look very photogenic.
- Good.
- Will,
I want you to leave with Lorraine.
- You think that's a good idea?
- Yeah, I do.
- I want you to leave.
- OK.
Whatever happened to those
big, romantic Hollywood endings?
I don't know.
- Will, you gotta leave me these guns.
- OK.
I need this. This too.
Hey.
Hey.
It's OK.
The mummy's gonna stay with me.
You're safe.
OK?
OK.
Hey, Jimmy. Can you see me?Yo, Jimmy.You all right?We're not sure who the man is.Apparently, one of the members
of the S. O.S.There appears to be some sort of
negotiation taking place.They're evidently getting demandsfrom someone inside
the Egyptian Theatre.Jericho! Jericho! Jericho!
Jericho! Jericho! Jericho!Apparently, Jimmy Alto
came out to Los Angelesfrom the New Jersey area
about seven years ago.He was an
aluminum-siding salesmanas well as being involved
in kitchen remodeling,but decided that acting
was his calling in life.It's a very interesting situation
because he's acting out this part,and we're not exactly sure
how it's going to end,because he's writing the script.
It's in his hands at this point.What are you gonna do, kill me?
Everybody dies.What are you gonna do, kill me?
Everybody dies.
What are you gonna do, kill me?
Everybody dies.
Fuck.
What are you gonna do, kill me?
Fuck!
What are you gonna do, kill me?
Shit!
- What are you gonna do, kill me?
- What are you gonna do, kill me?- Everybody dies.
- Everybody dies.
Fuck.
What are you gonna do, kill me?
- Everybody dies.
- Everybody dies.Everybody dies.
Everybody dies.
I'm coming out.
Keep your hands above your head
in plain sight and walk.
I don't have any guns, see?
Nothing in the front of me,
nothing in the back of me.
Take him down!
Jericho is dead.Perhaps the most infamous vigilante
this country has ever known.And a mighty fine actor, I might add.I was just a lost kid on the Boulevard
until Jimmy saved me.He truly is a genius,
what else can you say?He's a genius. He's a genius in a town
that doesn't embrace geniuses.To you, you may have killed
a vigilante.But for me, you kill......the love of my life.You may have cut shortpotentially one of the great
acting talents of our time.I think we can all mourn that loss.Jericho!
What are they gonna do, kill me?
Everybody dies.
I'm coming out.
Keep your hands above your head
in plain sight and walk.
I don't have any guns, see?
Nothing in the front of me,
nothing in the back of me.
- Everybody down!
- Front shield!
Who was that, James Cagney?
I had to tell them.
I forgot I told you I had blanks.
Some vigilante, huh?
Think of it this way.
In Hollywood, they always use blanks.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Blanks. Hollywood.
We now go to Paul Jackson
outside the Egyptian Theatre.Paul, has Jimmy Alto ever worked
as an actor out here?Well, Hal, we've done some checking,
we've found no informationthat Alto's ever worked
as an actor here.No motion pictures,
no television shows.- Nothing at all.
- Well, what about commercials?How about industrial films,
for example?No commercials, no industrial films,
no movies, no television shows.No commercials, no industrial films,
no movies, no television shows.We've checked the gamut,
and we've found no informationthat he's ever acted, Hal.
Thanks, Jimmy.
You made a difference!
Bye, Jimmy, we love you!
Thank you!
I could never have appreciated this
if I was dead.
Beautiful work. Wow, beautiful.
Steve McQueen, Clint Eastwood.
Even James Cagney, none of them
could have done any better.
I don't think so. None of them.
Is this a principal role?
I mean, because I came here
for a principal role.
- They said it was a principal role.
- No, this is what we're casting now.
Two lines? I'm not doing two lines.
I didn't come here for two lines.
I was told it was a principal role.
This is what we're casting today.
Now, wait a second.
I'm... You know...
Is the casting director here
or something?
- I'm sorry.
- Somebody I can talk to, because...
- This is bullshit.
- Shh, Jimmy.
- All right, cut, cut.
- OK, everybody, take five.
Jimmy, you're not supposed
to speak during a take.
Yeah, but I'm sorry, I mean,
this is nonsense. I don't believe this.
I don't buy it for a minute.
What, is this guy dreaming or what?
- I can't have talking on the set, Jimmy.
- Sorry.
He got excited.
- It's his life.
- Yeah, yeah, I know. It's OK.
Yeah, but his life
didn't happen like that.
I mean, that's not what was going...
I'm sorry. Sorry.
- Well, what's the problem?
- Harrison, let me deal with this.
No, no, let him talk.
- Go ahead.
- Hope you don't mind.
I don't mean to step on your toes
or anything, Mr. DeMille.
You see, Harrison,
when I came into this casting office,
let me tell you what I was thinking.
Let me tell you what I was feeling.
I believed I was entitled
to the principal role.
All right, William,
let me see playback.
I knew that I was made for that.
You see, I wasn't gonna waste my time
doing these two piddly little lines.
- I had confidence.
- Yeah, I understand.
- I wasn't begging them for the part.
- No.
I felt in my soul
that the principal role was for me.
- OK.
- I knew what I had to do...