Jimmy Hollywood Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Jimmy Hollywood script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Christian Slater and Joe Pesci movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Jimmy Hollywood. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Jimmy Hollywood Script






Gloria Swanson.



Maurice Chevalier.



Ralph Bellamy.



Lon Chaney.



Phillips Lord.



One of my favorites,

Humphrey Bogart.



Here's an actress, Snow White.



Ann Miller.



Jean Harlow.






Rex Harrison.



Burgess Meredith.



Ray Bolger.



Blank. Steve McQueen.



Danny Kaye.



Sarah Vaughan.



Jimmy Stewart.



Victor Mature.



Edward G. Robinson.






Dinah Shore.



Adolphe Menjou.



Erich von Stroheim.



Tom Mix.



Rory Calhoun.



Henry Fonda.



Burt Lancaster.



This one, if I had a hat, I'd tip it.

John Ford.



Betty Grable.



Little Richard.



Jimmy Cagney.






Van Heflin.



Richard Widmark.



- Richard Widmark. Shit.

- That was pretty good, though.



Richard Widmark. How could I not

get that, Richard Widmark?



Yeah, how many was that?



- What?

- How many, William?



I thought you were gonna count.



How could I be counting?

I'm thinking of names.



Oh, come on, huh, William?

I depend on you.



This is important to me.

I think this was my personal best.



I don't ever remember

doing this well before.



This was definitely a better run

than my Debbie Reynolds one.



Debbie Reynolds one?



Now we gotta go back and count.

I gotta count all the stars again.



I can't believe you did this to me.

I can't believe you did it.



Come on, let's go, idiot.

Count them.






Two. You don't remember

where I started at all? Think.



Maybe if you see it. Three.



How many was that? Five?



How many...? How many we just do?

One, two, three, four, five.



Here we go.



You look good. Very, very good.

Very compelling.



Catches your eye.

Don't you think, if you were riding by,



it catches your eye?



Don't forget,

this is a big traffic flow area.



A lot of people passing by,

seeing this. Big traffic flow.



You look good. Very, very good.

Very, very compelling.



Sometimes you just gotta invest

in your future, you know.



Gotta step up and invest.



They did a beautiful job with the

artwork. Really catches your eye.



Definitely worth the money.



I should probably have

a fax or two waiting



by the time we get home, right?



- What do you think?

- Yeah.



There go the Ortegas.



- Is that my phone?

- Nope. No, that's not yours.



Hi, this is Jimmy Alto,

actor extraordinaire.



I'm gonna have to get back to you.

I have a very busy schedule.



I'm on a set right now, so please leave

a message or a fax for me. Thanks.



- Favorite movie?

- Gone With the Wind.



     Selznick International.



- First movie you ever saw?

- The Mummy.



Boris Karloff.



I was a young kid with my dad.



I wasn't feeling well, and my dad let

me stay up and watch Fright Night.



You know what I could never

figure out about the mummy?



The mummy used to walk

with one arm out



and a leg dragging behind him.



He was still always able to get

his victim.



I'm thinking, as a kid, I'm pretty fast.



Just, you know,

put some moves on the mummy,



and the mummy, he'd never get me.



This is what you're thinking about?



Then I realized,

mummy never has to sleep.



Eventually I'd get tired of running

around the mummy.



That's when he'd get me.



So, what'd you do?

Scare yourself to death



thinking you were going to sleep and

the mummy was coming in your room?



This schmuck, this mummy,

is in Cairo.



It's gotta take a plane from Egypt

to Philadelphia.



This mummy has got to get

a passport,



and you're worried he's coming

in your room at night?



Oh, this mummy's got more

important things on its mind.



I could never figure out about

how the mummy used to walk around



with one arm out

and a leg dragging behind him.



William. William.



You're blanking.



- Did I say that?

- Trust me.



I did say that.



Watch the radio. I gotta go to bed.



See this?

We're gonna make a withdrawal.



Oh, God. Of all the people,

you have to pick on me? Come on.



- I make very little money.

- Look,    's not gonna kill you.



- Just hurry up.

- Two hundred?



I never use these machines at night.

I'm always afraid.



- Just shut up and get on with it.

- I'm wrong.



- Enter again.

- Lady, don't provoke me.



- Enter again.

- Lady, don't provoke me.



Don't touch my back, please.

You making me nervous.



Well, don't provoke me.

Just give me the money.



Wait, wait. "Processing. "



- No funds?

- What do you mean...?



I can't believe it.



I don't have any money in my account.



- All right. Give me your purse.

- I don't have any money, man.



- I don't have anything.

- Give me your fucking purse.



Bitch, pick it up. Pick it up.



No, if I do, then you'll hit me

in the head.



Take what you want.

I don't have anything.



Put your hands down.

Put your hands down.






OK, pick up the...

Pick up the car keys.



Go ahead. Pick up the car keys.

All right.



- Where's your car?

- It's the blue Mazda.



- OK, come on.

- OK, now, listen, if you want the car,



- you have the car.

- No. You understand?



- Gun. Do you speak English?

- Yes, yes, but...



- I want you to get into the car...

- No, no.



- OK, come on.

- Listen to me. If you want the car,



- take it. I won't say anything.

- I just want you to get into the car.



- I don't wanna get into an argument.

- Don't touch me!



If you want the car,

you have the car! Take it!



Fuck. Oh, shit.



Would you put your fucking hands...?



You get up, you big tub of guts.






- Jimmy.

- Hey.



Some guy just held me up

at the ready teller.



- What?

- He had a gun in my back.



- He wanted    .

- The lowlife scum.



What the fuck is going on

in this world today?



Will somebody tell me what kind of

sick world this is we live in?



Tell me what happened.

Don't leave anything out.



I couldn't get the money

from the machine.



I didn't have any.



- He wanted me to get in the car.

- Don't tell me you got in.



- You didn't get in the car?

- No.



- I threw the keys away, and he ran off.

- Lowlife scum.



Scum of the earth, I'll tell you.

It was smart not to get in the car.



I knew I wasn't going

to get into the car.



Oh, definitely smart

not to get in the car.



- What did he get?

- He didn't get anything.



I didn't have any money

in my account.



- Honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- Don't worry.



It's a good thing I took that money.



- You took the money?

- Yeah.



- Definitely the right move.

- You mean, you took my money?



- What the hell is wrong with you?

- I borrowed the card.



I had a crisis with my bus-bench




- What are you talking about?

- I have a bus bench on Sunset,



right near the gates of Bel Air.

Big traffic flow area.



They're looking for an actor,

boom, they see me.



- Jimmy, you stole my money.

- "Stole" is a harsh word, honey.



- I used it as an investment in us.

- In us? In you, not in us.



The phone could ring any moment.

That could be the call.



Next thing you know, I'm in a series.

Then we're living out on the west side.



Bam! It happens just like that.

We're on our way.



You don't have that bullshit job

anymore. Boom! We're on our way.



You took my money. How could you

take my money like that?



You know how strong I am as an

actor. I'm bound to be recognized.



You really are a sick nut,

you know that?



- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.



"Ring, ring", any moment.

Boom, we're on our way.



That money sits there at the gates

of Bel Air right now,



gathering momentum.



It was a good thing,

and you should thank your lucky stars



that I got that money out

before that scumbag did.



How many times have I told you

not to go in my purse?



Don't ever go into my purse again.






Fellas, give me a hand.






...I think it'd be a good idea

if you'd hand over your gun.



Wanna look for this guy?

You think you could recognize him?






I say, you think you can recognize

him? I wanna look for this guy.



I'll kill the motherfucker if I find him,

trying to take your money.



- Please, just spare me this, will you?

- Why, you think I'm kidding? Huh?



Think I'm fooling around?



Yeah? I'm fooling around?

See this? I find him, I'll put him away.



- What are you doing with a gun?

- That lowlife scum.



- Jesus Christ. Are you crazy?

- They're blanks.



William gave me the gun

and the blanks.



That's a smart idea.

A gun with blanks.



- It's all an illusion. That's all it is.

- Put that away, please.



You make me nervous

with that thing.



That's the whole point.

That's the whole point.



That's the point I'm trying to make.

You made it for me.



It frightens you. See?



Guy terrified you today with a gun,

it's terrible.



It was terrifying, right?

Guy pulled a gun on you.



That's why I wanna get him.

I mean, you know, it shouldn't be.



- You still scared? You all right?

- Yeah.



Be careful with my heart.



Be careful with my heart.




That's what it's about.



Can't rely on agents.

Do it yourself. That's what I say.



You'll see, those calls are gonna start

coming in. You can bank on it.



Then with the contacts I make,



you become Lorraine de la Peña,



haircutter to the stars.



Yeah, but in the... In the meantime,

are you gonna get a job, Jimmy?



- I'm working on it. I'm working on it.

- OK.



- You're handsome.

- Yeah?



- Yeah.

- You know what they say,



the camera can only photograph

what it sees.



- What you doing out here, man?

- Hey. Jimmy Alto.



- Mr. Meyerhoff sent me.

- Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, come on in.



I been out there since  :  .

What time you open?



 :  .



You ought to get the coffee going,

because about  :  



- they're gonna be in here.

- Right.



You know how to work

one of these things?



- Yeah, sure.

- All right, cool. Go on to it, then.






So Mr. M tell me you actor, huh?



- Right.

- Yeah, I seen you on anything?



You ever see that show Matlock,

the role of Cliff?



- Oh, you was on that show?

- No.



I was up for the role of Cliff.



- You was up for the role?

- Yeah, I was up for the role.



Let me tell you something

about this business, OK?



Between you and me,

and it goes no further.



- Hey, ain't no problem.

- I gave a hell of a reading for that part.



But I think they felt I was

a little too strong for Andy Griffith.



- Really?

- I blew Andy Griffith off the screen.



I mean, that's how strong I am,

you understand?



I mean, I know this guy.

I had that part too.



But, you know, there's a lot

of politics involved,



- and not necessarily

- Yeah, politics.



How good you are, you know.

And I'm a little intimidating, you know.



I'm so strong,

I intimidate other actors.



Well, you know, man, I just thought

they wanted to get the best actor.



- You know, that's what I thought.

- It's not always about talent.



Yeah, I hear that.



So, man, you know what you're

doing there, right?



Stack of about a half-dozen of these.

You good to go, right?



- You know how to do this?

- I did this in a Broadway show.



- Oh, you was on Broadway, man?

- Well, off-Broadway.







but they're all the same.



You know, people don't understand.



Yeah, I hear you.

Well, you know what?



I'm gonna go off-off-Broadway.

Let's get this cooking started, all right?



- All right.

- You're good to go, right?



- I got it.

- All right.



Hey, I think the... I think something's

wrong with the button.



Well, why don't you try

the off-off-Broadway button.



I'd like a half a cup of coffee.



I only wanted half a cup of coffee.



I'm thinking of putting together

a one-man show.



- Tour de force kind of thing.

- Yeah.



That way you don't have some other

actors dragging you down, you know.



One-man show,

that's the way to go.



I just gotta find some piece

that really shows my... My...



I don't know, I can't find the words.



Oh, like... Like homeboy

with the big moustache.



You know, the Huckleberry Finn dude.

What his name?



- Mark Twain?

- Yeah, yeah.



I could do Mark Twain.

I could do that.



But I need something that

stretches me more.



You know, something that

really challenges me.



Something that'll show off

my talents and my abilities.



Yeah, well, why don't you show your

talents and abilities on this here.



Like to go to movie premieres?



- Hey, what the hell is this?

- What up?



What up? There's nobody here.

I mean, how do I know who gets what?



Oh, man.



- Where everybody at?

- Are they outside?



They're all outside.

Something's going on.



Back up on the curb.



Everyone, please, just back up.



Back behind the cones.



Back up on the sidewalk.



- French toast, right?

- Pastry and a coffee.



Half decaf, half regular.



- Eggs over?

- What are you on, glue?



- Portuguese sausage.

- Portuguese sausage?



- That's right.

- You were in this restaurant?



- Cream cheese and bagel?

- Lox and bagel.



- Whitefish.

- Whitefish. I've been looking for you.



How am I gonna do this?

How am I gonna do this?



- Got him? Yeah!

- Busted.



- Terrific. Way to go.

- All right for the boys in blue!



I don't know who gets what here.

Fuck it. This shit's getting cold.



Soup's on!



Has anyone seen

a corned beef hash?



I got bagel, who's got toast?



Hey, shorty!



Hey, hey, hey, hey.

I asked for scrambled eggs.



Scrambled eggs.

These are not scrambled eggs.



- Now they're scrambled.

- What about my egg whites?



- Hey, whitefish.

- Whitefish. I found the whitefish.



I don't know where your toast is.

Give me the bagel.



- Another half cup of coffee.

- Suck it off the floor.



I like it hot.



Mr. Alto, is this a cafeteria?



"No. " Then he says,

"That's what I thought. "



I hired a waiter,

so this is not a cafeteria.



I said, "Yeah, but I had this problem. "

He says, "I can hire. I can fire.



"End of story. End of job. "



- What are you gonna do now?

- What am I gonna do?



Sometimes you gotta take

the bad with the strong.



Is that an expression?



- I don't know. It's new to me.

- Yeah, it's a new expression.



Hey, there goes Johnny.

He's winding up for the pitch.



Wanna watch him again?



What the hell is that all about?

Why does he do that?



- I told you.

- Tell me that again.



OK. The story goes,



they brought him up to the majors,

they brought him in,



relief pitch, crucial game,

something like that.



First pitch he threw, boom.

Gave up a home run,



lost the game,

never pitched again in the majors.



Supposedly, what he's doing

is always reenacting that pitch,



trying to get it right.



Living that moment. Boom.



Any of this sound familiar to you?



Come on, he'll do it again

for you tomorrow.



Hell of a thing, going through life,

living that moment



over and over again,

regretting that you never got it right,



you never had another chance.

Poor fuck.



Not gonna spend my life living

the same moment over and over again.



I'm gonna beat it.



Hey, Lorne Greene didn't happen

in his   s, or even in his   s.



All of a sudden, boom, the guy shows

up on Bonanza. He's got white hair.



He hung in there.



He was in there for the long haul.



I gotta hand it to Lorne.

He hung in there.



Nothing's ever gonna stop me.




I bet he was a good pitcher in his day.



- What?

- What do you wanna do?



- You wanna catch a movie?

- I don't know. What's playing?



I don't know.

I'd like to see Gone With the Wind.



- Gone With the Wind?

- Yeah.



Gone With the Wind,

you wanna see.



I don't know, William.

Nothing from me rubs off on you.



I don't understand that.



From this moment on,

Hollywood stars will be recognized



as unparalleled fundraisers

and morale builders in time of war.



After the war, however, Hollywood

turns another face to the world.



In the '  s and '  s

it becomes a lotusland,



whose godlike inhabitants seem



sublimely above common concern.

And this is what...



Oh, shit.



Oh, shit.



One fucking time. Don't tell me.



Don't fucking tell me.



One fucking time I leave

the fucking radio there.



One time. Son of a bitch.

Son of a bitch.



- What?

- Come on, get out of the street.



- Son of a bitch.

- Come on.



Come on, get out of the street.



- Come on. Hey!

- Son of a bitch.



Come on,

get the fuck out of the street!



- Hey, what...? What is it with...?

- Get the fuck out...



Hey, get out of the street!



Can't you see I got...? What are you

gonna do, run me over here?



- If I have to... Hey, come on.

- Hey, hey! Hey!



Hey, get out of the car!



Can't you see I got

a fucking problem here?



They stole my radio!



- Stupid son of a bitch.

- Jesus.



- Hi.

- Hey.



What are you guys doing?



Some lowlife scum

stole my car radio.



- Oh, where?

- Right outside.



Yeah, they said there have been six

or seven stolen this past week.



- Yeah, that's epidemic proportions.

- Yeah?



But what is the gun

and the video camera all about?



Well, the police aren't gonna do

anything about it. They don't care.



This is a two-hour battery.



What are you guys supposed

to be doing?



- I'm gonna catch the thief myself.

- Video him.



Oh, this is a good idea.

This is a good idea.



Have you lost your mind?



Have you gone completely

and totally nuts?



You know what it's like to find

your car violated, huh?



Your car radio gone,

something you care about gone,



and nobody's gonna do

anything about it?



- Yeah. Jimmy, it's just a radio car.

- I want something done.



- I want satisfaction.

- You just gonna wait outside?



Wait for someone

to break into a car?



That's right. I'm gonna videotape

him in the act,



arrest him and hand him over

to the police.



Some couples spend their Saturday

evenings going to movies or clubs.



My boyfriend is going to be

in the bushes, looking for some thief.



Do you have any idea

how absurd this is?



William, will you get that

away from my face?



I'm sorry, I was just checking

the autofocus at a low light.



Oh, I'm sorry.

I must have lost my mind.



Hey, Will, these blanks

are not all the same size.



I wasn't taping.



- What day is this?

-  th.



- It's not the  th?

-  th.



- Wednesday the  th?

- Tuesday the  th.



Is this the beginning of Tuesday,

or was it Tuesday?



What I'm saying is, is this last night,

or is it now tomorrow the  th?



This day is the  th. It has begun

the  th, not ending the  th.



Because on the  th, I gotta get

my head checked out. Accident.



Feels pretty good though, doesn't it?



Yeah, except for the buzzing

and humming, whatever that is.






- What did the doctor say?

- When?



You said you had an appointment

on the  th. This is the  th.



What did he say?



I don't really remember

anything that important.



Up or down?



Make sure you don't get me

in the shot.









- Can't see him very well yet, can you?

- No, I'm not focused yet.



Filthy cretin.



This is weird. I feel dizzy.



I don't know why anybody bothers

to roll up their windows.



They steal your radio and then

you gotta have your windows redone.






OK, this is it.

Come on, let's get him.



Hey, scumball. Get out of the car.



- What are you, cops?

- No, we're FBI.



Come on, get out of the car.

Get out.



Put the radio up. Put it up.

Got that?



- Yeah, I got it.

- What the hell's going on here?



We're gonna take a little walk

to the squad car. Pick your stuff up.



Come on. Got my radio in there too,

probably? Sure.



Where do you work for,




Now, where do you sell

these radios?



Where do you sell these radios?

I will kill you. Don't try me.



- Are you gonna fuck with me?

-      North Western Avenue, sir.



That's a good boy.



That's a good boy.



Did you write the note for the police?



- Was I supposed to write the note?

- Yes.



- What are you doing?

- I'm writing the note.



- That's a labeling machine.

- I know. I just don't want the police



- to recognize my handwriting.

- Pardonne-moi.



Here's an unusual story.

Hollywood police report



that a robbery suspect was left

in front of the police station



early this morning.



Two car radios, which he is accused

of stealing, were taped to his body.



That, according to a videotape

and note,



which accompanied the radios.

The suspect...



- Do you want a little conditioner?

- Yes, I do.



...no further information is available.



Police say the note stated,

"To the police:



"This guy stole two car radios

last night.



"This is a video of his thievery.

If you can't do the job, we can.



"Signed, the S. O.S."



There's no information

on the size of this S. O.S.



Or what their intentions may be.



We'll keep you updated as more

information on this becomes available.



- In other news, a Hollywood man...

- Jimmy.



- Is that my phone?

- No.



- Jimmy.

- Hey, honey.



I just thought I'd get some sun.



I read in the trades they're looking for

a newcomer for that new movie



Urban Nomad.

Get a little color on my face.



- I wanna talk to you.

- What?



- I wanna talk to you.

- Well, sit down.



Not here. William, you too.



- So you did it, didn't you?

- What?



The car-radio guy.

Dropping him off at the police station.



You actually did it, didn't you?



Well, it just so happens, yes,

but how did you know?



- I saw it on the news.

- News? It got on the news?



- Yeah.

- No kidding?



It's bad enough

what the two of you did,



but did you have to leave that note?



Well, I mean, you gotta understand

the circumstances.



- So you guys are now the S.O.S.?

- What?



The note.

You guys are now the S.O.S.?



What did you put in that note?



I just signed it. I mean,

it had to come from somebody.



Yeah, but where'd you come up

with S.O.S.?



- Some movie-producer guy.

- What movie-producer guy?



It's his initials. The guy who did

Gone With the Wind.



- David O. Selznick?

- David?



- I thought his name was Steven.

- No, Steven is Spielberg.



David is O. Selznick.



- I love that Gone With the Wind.

- Please, this is serious.



The television believes there

is some kind of an organization.



Some kind of vigilante organization.



You shouldn't have did that, William.

I mean, you shouldn't have done that.



I mean, I wanted to draw attention

to the... The crime.



- Not the Steven O. Selznick gang.

- Just what you need.



The police are looking for terrorist

or something like that.



Jimmy, you has to promise me

that this is finished.



Lorraine, this is no big to-do.

It's all over with. It's over.



- Really?

- Yes, it's over with.



She's got a point though, William.

You know, keeping quiet on this.



"Frankly, my dear,

I don't give a damn. " That...



- Wasn't that Gone With the Wind?

- Yes, that was Gone With the Wind.



And it was also David O. Selznick.



S.O.S. Steven O. Selznick.



- How long did they run it?

- Three and a half hours.






- I'm asking...

- Gone With the Wind was a little over



- three and half hours.

- Yeah, but...



I'm asking about the news.

The report on the S.O.S.



It was three and a half hours?

What did they do,



a miniseries on the

S.O. S soap pads?



- I thought it was Gone With the Wind.

- No, it was    minutes.



I know how long

Gone With the Wind was.



What channel was it on?



- That wasn't on that Spanish station?

- No, no, no. English. English.



- Oh, BBC? It was international?

- No, no.






We don't have RBC in this country,

Lorraine. RBC.



- ABC?

- No. No, other letters.



- NBC?

- NBC. That's right.



Bingo. I feel like I won something.



The suspect was apprehended by

a group that calls itself the S. O.S.



This note was made available

by police officials.



"To the police: This guy stole

two car radios last night.



"This is a video of his thievery.

If you can't do the job, we can.



"Signed, the S. O.S."



The police say they have no previous

information on this S. O.S.



It seems to be their first act. The size

of the group is undetermined.



- Elsewhere in local news, two men...

- S.O.S., I like that.



I wish I'd known they were gonna

put it on television.



I would've made you write something

with a little more flair to it.



Punched it up for you a little bit,

more dramatic.



- "Thievery", I thought was good.

- Which?



- Thievery.

- What are you talking?



- What are you talking about?

- I'm talking to myself. Just ranting,



going on and on about nothing.



Have some more of this tortilla.

She cooks this real good.



It's got potatoes in there,

eggs, everything.



It's good for you. You get eggs.

You don't even have to have breakfast.



They let the guy go,

and they're looking for the S.O.S.



I mean, isn't it amazing? Here we are,

trying to do good, helping to protect,



and what do they do?



They're looking for the kidnappers

of this lowlife scumbag.



All of a sudden we're the villains,

the S.O.S.



- Hey, is that your ad?

- Yeah.



- You look better in your photo.

- Fuck you. Fuck you!



All of a sudden this fucking schmuck

knows something.



He knows something.



It looks the same.

It looks the same.



This is crazy. They're looking

for the head of the organization.



They wanna know what his name is.



- Who?

- The head of the organization.



- Who is he?

- There is no head of the organization.



If they're thinking

there's an organization,



then who's the head

of the organization?



I don't know

what you're talking about.



Remember years ago, the SLA?

With Patty Hearst?



This guy Cinque

was the head of the SLA.



That being the case,

the S.O.S. Needs a spokesman.



That'll be my role.

I'll be the spokesman.



The recent decision by the police

to release the prisoner...



Does it look OK...?

How's it look if I stand like this?



It looks like you don't have any arms,

kind of. It looks like...



- No arms? Is that stronger?

- Stronger? I don't know.



- How about this?

- That's good.



- It's good?

- I like that.



It's like, you know,

Superman used to have the S.



- Remember he used to stand like this?

- Yeah.



All right. How is this?



Don't... Don't go like this, William.



You just threw me off.

I'm trying to get into the thing here,



and you... Don't do that.



- What do you want me to do?

- Nod or something.



I know it's running,

I know you're ready.



- I mean, you don't have to...

- I'm pausing it.



- This isn't... This isn't...

- I'll shake my head.



- OK.

- OK.



Are you gonna keep shaking

your head? Don't keep shaking it.



- Just once is enough. OK.

- OK.



This is J-  head of the S.O.S.



No, let me do it again.

Let me do it again.



This is J- 

cell leader for the S.O.S.



That "cell leader" has

a nice ring to it, don't you think?



Keep the tape rolling.

Keep the tape rolling. Don't stop.



This is J-  cell leader of the S.O.S.

The recent decision by... Hold on.



This is K-  cell leader of the S.O.S.



Has K-  been used

for something else before?



K  is a mountain. K  is a dog.



Like the J's better?



Who am I?



Who am I?



- You're the leader of the S.O.S.

- I know that, William.



But who is J- ? What do I think?

What do I feel?



How do I know?



You see, William, you gotta think

of this in acting terms.



What happened to me? Where am I

at this point in time in my life?



What happened to get me

where I am?



They stole your radio.



William, this isn't me.

This is the leader of the S.O.S.



I don't wanna play me.



Jimmy Alto isn't the leader

of the S.O.S.



J-  is the leader of the S.O.S.



Who is J- ?






As an actor, when you know

who you are, it's easy to talk.



When you don't, you don't know

what's coming next.



You don't know where you are.



I'm an actor playing a vigilante.

That's not enough. It's not enough.



Who am I? Who am I?



I have to know who I am.



Till I know who I am,

the S.O.S. Can't make a statement.



Is that my phone?






This is Jericho,

cell leader of the S. O.S.



Let it be known from this day forth

that lawlessness will not be tolerated.



This is a promise to all

the good citizens of Hollywood.



We give fair warning to the police

and to the judicial system.



Protect and serve

the good people of Hollywood,



because we will be watching

and waiting.



This is our pledge.

"S. O.S. Save our streets. "



- Jimmy, what have you done?

- This tape was given exclusively



to Channel   News. We have shown it

to the police, who have issued



a statement to the effect that this type

of organization will not be tolerated.



They have further stated that they

will fully mobilize the police force



to combat the S. O.S.



Should this illegal, criminal

behavior show itself again.



As to the leader of the S. O.S.,



the police are not discussing

any clues they may have at this time.



Earlier this afternoon, a storefront

fire in the Fairfax district



threatened several commercial

structures. The blaze broke out



in a vacant building in the     block

of North Fairfax Avenue.



I thought it was pretty good.

What did you think?



I don't know. It took    or   

goes to get it. I...



I kind of lost my perspective.



Is she OK?



Oh, I better go see

what her problem is.



I wanted to at least let Hollywood

know that there was somebody there.



But the way it was left,

it felt open-ended.



I had to put a cap on it.



This is the end now.






What did you think of the work?



The work?



Yeah, the work.

What'd you think of Jericho?



Jimmy, you're playing with fire here.



And you wanna know

how your acting was?



Did you believe him?



Yes, yes, I believe him.



Did he seem sympathetic?



See, I felt there was a vulnerability.



I mean, I thought

there was toughness...



...but, you know,

there was vulnerability.



Terry Malloy, On the Waterfront.






- He had vulnerability.

- Yeah.



Remember that scene

I always play for you?



- What?

- Eva Marie Saint.



She drops the glove,



he picks it up, tries to put it

on his hand.



He was a boxer, a tough guy,



and he's trying to put

a little white glove on his hand.



Macho into femininity.

It happened all at the same time.



I mean, don't forget,

I was at a disadvantage.



I mean, I was in the shadows.

You couldn't see my eyes.



It all had to be done with the voice.



You know, it put me

at a big disadvantage.



But I thought I came across

threatening, tough... And vulnerable.



- I had vulnerability too, right?

- Yeah.






OK. I'm gonna take a bath.



You know, another thing

you gotta remember too,



it was the first time I played Jericho.



I mean, I'm not gonna do it,



but imagine if I got

more familiar with him.



I mean, if I was allowed to do

an   - or   -minute piece on Jericho



instead of a one-minute clip,

think of it that way.



This is a promise to all

the good citizens of Hollywood.



We give fair warning to the police

and to the judicial system.



Protect and serve

the good people of Hollywood,



because we will be

watching and waiting.



- This is our pledge. "S. O.S.

- It's even better with repeated viewing.



"Save our streets. "



Definitely better

with repeated viewing.






Men with ties.



- Detectives, looks like.

- Yeah.



You think they're looking

into the S.O.S.?



The car-radio guy could have

told them the street.



I wonder if they'll come

and question me.



It would be interesting

questioning me, don't you think?



I could do a real number

if they question me.



"Where were you on the night

of so-and-so?"



I could really do a number.



Do you want to go out for breakfast

and leave me at work?



Yeah, yeah.



You know, they question me,

I could play it real quiet.



Long pauses, you know.



I'd drive them crazy. Pause, pause.



I'd play this real deliberate

kind of a guy. I'll make them nuts.



They just didn't know,

is what I think he was saying.



He mentioned an M.R.I., and they said

maybe they'd see something.



See, I definitely

don't remember things well.



I don't know.

What do you think, Jimmy?



I don't know.

"This is M.R.I. This is M.R.I."



- I think Jericho's better.

- I got you a lollipop.



- Is that root beer?

- No.



Well, I like root beer.



You know, when you get this M.R.I.,



you're gonna see everything's gonna

be OK, so don't worry, you know.



You're just a little preoccupied.

That's why you're blanking.



- You think so?

- Yeah.



Look at this. We gotta get

right behind this bus now.



These people, they kill everybody

with these fumes.



They should put something

on these things.



I mean, look, this is disgusting.



Oh, good, there's Craig. Craig!



How big is this part?



It's a nice little role. It takes place

in one of the underground clubs.



Oh, yeah? Well, I mean,

if this isn't a lead role,



I might be wasting my time. Don't you

have some other principal roles there?



These are the roles we're casting.



I understand that.

What about the principal roles?



- Were they already cast?

- This is what we're casting right now.



I can't tell you about anything else.



Well, I came for a principal role.



Well, this is all we have.



The ad in the trades

said a principal role.



This is not a principal role.

This is a little role here. One line.



- Do you have a picture and résumé?

- He's got his own bus-bench ad.



He's right. I have a bus bench

right on Sunset.



Right at the gates of Bel Air. A big

advertisement, cost me a lot of money,



and as we speak, I have new pictures

being made. I mean, you...



- Excuse me.

- What? What?



- What's your name?

- Jimmy Alto. Who are you?



I'm Rob Weiss, the film's director.



The director. How are you, Rob?

It's a pleasure to meet you.



We were just discussing over

some roles that are available here.



I wanna read him for Lewis. I think

you'd be interested in this part of Lewis.



- Who's Lewis? He's a principal?

- He's a principal.



- Now we're talking, see?

- He's gonna come with me.



I wanna do this.

Do you have time to do this?



Well, I have to run across town. I have

another appointment with a director,



but I can push that appointment off.



I don't think you have

any other appointments.



- It's a little later, the appointment.

- He's a lot like Lewis.



If you come with us

to the end of the hall,



maybe you could do some work.

Take a couple minutes.



Sure. No problem at all.

Thanks for your help, sweetheart.



You know, Rob, this girl

has a bit of an attitude. I mean,



she tried to dismiss me like I was

some kind of an extra or something.



- We might have missed each other.

- Yeah, well, we'll take care of that.



So did you happen to see any of that

S.O.S. Stuff on the news last night?



- The what?

- The S.O.S. Story with Jericho.



I think you're going way over

my head here.



I don't know

what you're talking about.



I thought you said that Channel  



was the number one

news station, William.



Jimmy, I want you to understand

something here.



All right, this is a very

inexpensive film.



So it's not really scripted.

Well, there's not a "script" script.



So we're gonna improv a lot of it.

It's gonna be real loose.



Hey, that's when I'm at my best.



When I'm loose.

When I'm free, you know.



You give me words, sometimes it pulls

me down, you know what I mean?



I have this guy outside in the hall

who's gonna play Tom.



I'm gonna bring him in here. I want

you guys to do some improv for me.



- Hey, no problem.

- So I get a feel.



- Get really loose with him.

- Hey, it's a principal role. Of course.



Loosening up my voice. Sorry.



Get up now, you big tub of guts.



Hey, all the heads of the family,

I want them all here.



So, what do you wanna do?



You wanna kill them?

Because I'll kill them.



I'll kill him if that's

what you want me to do.



Oh, so you wanna kill him.



What are you saying, I can't?



- Because I'll kill him.

- It's just that you seemed



a little ambivalent about it.



You see something in these eyes

that says I'm ambivalent?



Guess which one of your favorite actors

got the second lead in Urban Nomad.



- Really?!

- That's right.



Jimmy Alto. Remember that name.



Urban Nomad.



Probably be out at the beginning

of next year sometime.



- Is that my phone?

- No.



Hi, this is Jimmy Alto.

I'm on a set right now,



so please leave a message

or a fax. Thanks.



Hi, this is Linda

from Rob Weiss' office.



We've been trying

to get in touch with you.



Unfortunately, we've had to go with

our second choice for the role of Lewis.



We're very sorry, Mr. Alto.

Thank you again for coming in.



...vivid personalities lift,

if only for a time,



the burden of battle.



Stars like Al Jolson,



Debbie Reynolds,



Mickey Rooney



and Marilyn Monroe.



This is a traditional scene.



A traditional thing for a star to do.



For it was established long ago



that when the nation went to war,

Hollywood went too.



It's a shame, you know that?



It all happened before I got here.



This was the mecca for dreams.



This place used to sparkle.



Could rub shoulders with movie stars

walking along the Boulevard.






Look at Hollywood now.



No wonder I can't make it.

It's over. It's over.



You know something, William?



Gotham had Batman.



Hollywood needs the S.O.S.



I just realized it.



They need Jericho.



We gotta get some better

television coverage, you know?



You believe the police

can't see this shit?



Seems pretty amazing, doesn't it?



We're gonna

just keep taping everything.



Send all the tapes to the TV station.



Put it all on television.



Let the people see



just how fucked up all this is.



Right in plain view.



You remember that Medfly problem?



It was a little, tiny Medfly.



They tracked it down,

and they caught it in Hancock Park.



And they can't find

these drug dealers.



Well, we're gonna be the watchdogs.



The guardians.



Look what they've done

to my Hollywood.



Relax, William.



What are you guys up to?



I don't think that's any

of your fucking business.



Yes, it is, actually. My friends,

they have a thing about being taped.









what do you suggest we do?



I suggest you stop taping.

Now, give me the tape.



Get away, or I'll put a bullet

through your fucking head.



He shot his own guy.



William, you OK?



- William?

- Yeah, I'm OK.



This place is crazy. What, does

everybody have a gun? What is it?



- I loved that car.

- You really didn't have much choice.



Those guys talk, they finger the car,

we're dead.



Yeah, but I loved that car.



We came to Hollywood together

a long time ago.



These drug dealers operate openly

and freely in the Hollywood area.



The wounding of one

of the drug dealers occurred



when he went up against

two members of the S. O.S. Force.



Let this be a signal.

Don't tread on us.



We will never initiate

aggressive action,



but we will certainly return gunfire

when deemed appropriate.



I can't take this, Jimmy.

I can't live this way.



- What?

- Don't you see how wrong this is?



Don't you understand?

Is there something wrong with you?



Jericho. That's good, that's good.



With William, it's understandable.

He doesn't know any better.



At best, he's half there.



Are you telling me

that this is not effective?



It's great acting. I mean, come on,

Lorraine, look how believable this is.



Jimmy, somebody was shot.

You could have been killed. Dead!



We're really not at liberty right now

to talk about the specifics of the case.



But we do have several leads, yes.



Oh, my God, Jimmy,

they're gonna get you.



They gonna put you in prison.



- ... statement from Jericho,

- Yes!



Leader of Hollywood's...



Look at this. They're paying attention.

They're all paying attention.



It's a media blitz. It works.



It works. Jericho works.



It's a great role, Lorraine.



- In it, Jericho warned

- It's a great role.



Other lawbreakers

not to challenge them.



I'm gonna be at Janet's

for a couple of days.



I have to go. I can't even

talk to you about this anymore.



You can't talk to me?

You can't talk to me? You...



You're out of the Oscar speech!



"Ride the RTD."

Rapid Transit District, my ass.



Six blocks, four hours.



William! Come on, you're zoning.

What are you doing over here?



Now you gotta blank out?



What do you think?



This the place the guy brings

the radios after he rips them off?



    . I never forget a number.






Nobody's making a living

selling this shit, that's for sure.



Hello there, gentlemen.



What can I do for you?



I thought you might have

some radios here.



- Radios?

- Yeah, you know, car radios.



Well, what you see is what we got.



Yeah, you got

great merchandise here.



It must just fly out of the door.



Listen, I got a very good friend

says you got some car radios here.



Oh? What's his name?



He doesn't like people

to mention his name.



Well, I don't do business

with strangers.



Oh, no?



- Hey, hey, hey!

- Oh, I'm sorry, guys.



Sorry, sorry. I thought

there was a bathroom in here.



Who the fuck are you?

What are you, a cop?



It's obvious they got

stolen merchandise



up the gazoo in the back

of that place.



What are you thinking about?

You wanna get your radio back?



- Is that what you're thinking about?

- I don't even have my car anymore.



What the fuck would I want

my radio for?



Well, so then what are you

thinking about, then?



I'm thinking the S.O.S.

Should torch that place.



At least I'm sure that's what

Jericho's thinking.



Put that thieving ring

out of business.



- The big question is...

- What?



What do we do for transportation?



Well, where do you wanna go?



Maybe we could do a carjacking.



What's a car jacket?



- What?

- Car jacket?



Not a car jacket. Carjacking.



They stick a gun in somebody's face

and say, "Give me your car",



and the people give them the car

and they go.



We're not real thieves.



Jericho came up to me

and said S. O.S. Needed my car



for one of their missions. He said

they would return it. And they did,



with a full tank of gas

and a very nice note thanking me.



Know what I like about you, William?



- What?

- You're always right there,



no questions asked.

You're right there.



I need a gun, you get me a gun.



I'm gonna burn down a building,

you're there.



Thank you, Jimmy.



You know, there's an advantage

to this memory-lapse thing I have.



I keep forgetting all the bad times.



Well, I remember quite a few.

Enough for both of us.



What? You were gonna

say something, I can tell.



- What?

- New York.



- What about it?

- You know, it's named after York.



And then there's New Jersey,

which is named after Jersey.



And then there's New Zealand.



Where is Zealand?






Where's Zealand?



The fire began early this morning.



Once again, it seems to be

the work of the S. O.S.



We received this tape

from the S. O.S. Leader, Jericho.



This store was a front

for stolen items.



From car radios to televisions

and stereos,



most of which were drug-related.



The S. O.S. Will not allow this operation

to continue with business as usual.



We're out there,



the watchdogs of Hollywood.



That's all for now.



"S. O.S. Save our streets. "



In other news...



I just get better and better.



I mean, I don't know.

I hope it's not me, you know,



I'm not putting too much into it,

but I get better and better.



You wanna get some breakfast?



We just got through eating.



No, I'm only kidding.



I know you blank all the time,

so I took a shot.



I'll be right back.



Is this Janet's apartment?



Yes, it is.



- Is Lorraine here?

- No.



The two of them went to Big Bear

for the weekend, I think.



I'm Holly, Janet's cousin.



I'm visiting from Hawaii for a while.



I'm Jimmy, Lorraine's friend.



You wanna come in for a minute?



Sure. Yeah.



Oh, sure.



I was just watching a piece on

that S.O.S. Group you got out here.



- Pretty wild.

- Oh, you think so?



Oh, yeah.

Everybody's talking about it.



- Really?

- Yeah.



I had to go to the market

the other day,



and there were people at the register

talking about it.



And what do you think

of the situation?



I think it's a good idea.



I mean, there's a lot of crime, and

they're out there making a difference.



Plus, they're not hurting

the good people.



Right. And what about

this Jericho guy, their leader?



What do you think of him?



Oh, well, I think he's right.

I think it's brave, what he's doing.



Do you?



Yeah, well, I've always been

really into that kind of thing.



You know, kind of underground stuff.

Sort of adventurous, you know?






French Resistance.



I'm not familiar with them.



I guess it's unimportant.

Doesn't matter.



Do you want something to drink?



Yeah. Let's see,

you got any liquor here?



I'll take a look.

I don't know what she has.



Yeah. Nothing with any pineapple.



- So, what do you do, Jimmy?

- I'm an actor.



Can you imagine



what it's like to be in some

super-police military thing?



You know? He's like

a Batman or something.



That's right. That's right.



It's very dangerous.



Imagine putting your life

on the line,



not knowing if you're gonna

live or die.



- This Jericho is some kind of guy.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah.



I mean, he must be a pretty

extraordinary person.






I wonder



if he's like a Bruce Wayne.



You know, a wealthy guy

that does that.



Because you'd have to have

some kind of money



to train that whole group

and arm them and everything.



What if I told you...



...that I know someone

in the S.O. S?



And that someone...






Hi, honey.



I miss you too.



Hold on a second.



I'm gonna be on a while.



It's OK. I forgot that I have

an appointment. I'm gonna run.



- OK.

- OK.



- Hi, honey.

- No, I feel better.



I might be able to

walk down the street tonight.



Well, I think the S. O.S.

Is doing a really good job.



I'm a big fan of

the Death Wish movies.



I'm tired of being a hostage

in my neighborhood.



If this is gonna get rid of crime,

I say, "Why not?"



- It's time the bad guys were victims.

- I wish I could join S. O.S.



I'm a young girl, I'm single, I'm in this

town by myself. I don't feel safe.



The police could never intimidate

them the way the S. O.S. Can,



and I am just... I'm so happy

to have Jericho here.



Jericho again. They love Jericho.



There's hope for this city

now that they're here.



The S. O.S. Is apparently striking

a favorable nerve in Hollywood.



In an unofficial telephone survey

conducted by this station,



over    percent

of Hollywood residents...



It's a hit. It's a rave review.



It's as good as a review

if it was a show.



Eighty percent. Eighty percent.



Look at this.

Another drive-by shooting.



You know what's amazing?

It's on page three of the Metro section.



I mean, it's become so commonplace,

it's on page three of the Metro section.



It's ridiculous. Makes me sick.



What do you wanna do today?



I don't know.

What do you got in mind?



I wanna go see a movie.



- I wanna go see The Mummy.

- The Mummy?



Will, don't start with The Mummy, OK?

It's a little early.



My father let me stay up and watch

Fright Night. That's when I first saw it.



You know what I could never figure out

about The Mummy?



Is how he always used to walk with,

you know, one arm behind him



- and a leg dragging...

- Will, Will.



I know.



Let me ask you a question.



How come the only time

you mention your father



is with this Fright Night

Mummy thing?



Don't you have any other memories?



I remember he used to

call me useless.



He did, huh?



Well, let me tell you something.



I was a salesman, and I can size up

people's characters pretty good.



And you have a lot of potential.

A lot of potential.



Don't let anybody

tell you different. Ever.



You just haven't clicked with

the right thing yet. But when you do,



boom, you're gonna be on your way.



Big things are gonna happen for you.

Trust me.



A lot of potential.



- Potential.

- Right.



- Who's this?

- Steve.



You've seen each other.



All right, all right. This time.

Don't bring nobody else new, man.



Stick up your hands, please.

Don't turn around. Don't turn around.



You want the money?

Take the money.



- No, no. We don't want your money.

- You don't want the money?



Yes, we do. Yes, we do. It's not cheap

running a terrorist organization here.



- Hey, he's got a gun. He's got a gun!

- OK, give it up!



- Give it up! I got it!

- Get it! Get it! Get it!



- Look this way.

- What are we gonna tie him with?



What do you wanna do with him?



We can't take him to the police station.

It's been done already.



Why don't we just keep him captive,

like the Hezbollah.






Where could we put him?



We can't keep him at my place.



I guess I can keep him at my place

for one day. I mean, it's safe.



Lorraine's out of town anyway.

Come on, let's go.



The fuck was that

you were listening to?



Listen to me clearly.



You have been sentenced to five years

in an S.O.S. Holding cell.



- You will be chained to a bed.

- Chained to the bed?



I ain't with no freaky stuff, man.

Y'all just kill me right now.



You saw the way the American

hostages were treated?



You will be treated

in the same fashion,



- as an enemy of the people.

- Enemy of the people?



I got a few character flaws,

but I ain't no enemy of the people.



I just like nice things.



S.O.S. Save our souls.



That's my parking.



I miss you, Jimmy.



I miss you too.



I hate myself for coming back,



but what am I gonna do?



I don't wanna be out

of your Oscar speech.



You're not gonna be out

of my Oscar speech.



Wait. Wait, please.



I have to go to the bathroom.



He's gone crazy. Jimmy!



- What?

- Have you lost your mind?



Oh, listen. Let's go in the other room.

I don't want him to hear us.



Are you crazy? OK, OK.



What the hell is this guy doing

in my bathtub bound and gagged?



- I didn't know you were coming home.

- Oh, that explains it.



There's a fantastic answer.



See, what we're doing is kind of like

a Hezbollah kind of thing.



- You say Hezbollah?

- Hezbollah, yeah, you know,



- the Lebanese stuff?

- Yeah.



- The terrorist group?

- Yeah.



Yeah, the ones that take

the hostages.



See, I just didn't wanna drop him off

at the police station.



A drug-dealing thing.

I mean, we've already done that.



So, what we're doing is we're

setting up, like, an intimidation factor.



You know?



Hey, listen, do you know how many

tourists visit Beirut a year? Do you?



- No, no.

- None. Zip. Nada.



Do you know how many visit L.A.?



Millions. And there's more killings

in L.A. Than there is in Beirut.



There's more crime in Los Angeles

than there is in Beirut.



- And you know why?

- No.



Hezbollah. Hezbollah.



They're scared shitless about that

Hezbollah kind of stuff, that's why.



What the hell are you talking about,

Jimmy? What are you talking about?



There is a man in my bathtub.



Intimidating a criminal,

that's what I'm talking about.



The police don't intimidate them.



So big deal, they get arrested.



They do six months to a year.



They go into the cells,

they watch television,



they do exercises. Big deal.



The S.O.S., you know

what we're gonna do?



The S.O.S. Intimidates

the criminal element.



Tie them to a bed for five years,

scare the shit out of them.



So you want me to actually live in

this house here with the hostages?



Is that the next step, Jimmy?



I get up with you early in the morning

and feed the hostages.



- Is that it?

- No, no. This is a one-day thing.



I'm letting this guy go.



I want him to go back into the

community and spread the message.






To think, a couple of days' work

on a soap opera or something



might have prevented this.






where are we supposed to go

from here?



Well, listen,



I'm gonna get rid of this scumbag

right after dark,



but I don't know what's gonna happen

from there.



You're becoming another one

of those media freaks.



Those people they keep making

into celebrities.



This is not about "celebrity-ism".



This is about the craft of acting.



It's not a vigilante who's popular,



it's an actor portraying a vigilante.



The people believe Jericho.



That's, like, the true tribute

to my acting ability.



Lorraine, look,



I love you.



But let me at least

enjoy the fame a little.



You stay down for five minutes.

Otherwise, I'll be back. You got it?



- Yeah, man.

- OK, man.



This was supposed to have been

Errol Flynn's house.



Can you imagine overlooking




Looking right down on it.



Warner Bros. Right over the hill.



You finish Captain Blood,

you come home,



you got a nice living room,

you sit down.



The butler gives you the new script

from the studio.



Go dancing at Ciro's.



All those things.



Imagine me coming home

in the evening, Lorraine.



We get ready to go out.



You put on a gown,



I put on a tuxedo.



Dancing with the big dance bands.



Going to some grand premiere

at the Grauman's Chinese.



Imagine if I was here back then.



I'd be as big as Cagney.



As big as Edward G. Robinson.



I would've been right there with them,

at Ciro's and The Brown Derby.






"Hey, Eddie G., how you doing?"



"Who's that? Oh, it's Jimmy Alto.

Hey, Jimmy, how you doing?



"Sit down. You know Cagney. "

"Hey, how you doing?"



I'd have been right there with them.



Rubbing shoulders with

the best of them.



But there's nothing there anymore.

It's over.



There's nothing down there now

but a bunch of dead stars and cement.



In Madrid, all I ever dream about

was Hollywood.



This is not the Hollywood

I see in the movies.



It's not.



Hear that music?



- You don't hear that dance band?

- Oh, yeah.



Let's dance.



Do you have any idea

why a black Range Rover



was parked in your parking space

last Friday, August  th?



No. In fact, I haven't even

been back there in a few days.



- You have a car?

- Yes.



Well, why don't you park

your car there?



Because it's a new one.



I mean, I just picked it up today,

as a matter of fact.






...until today, you didn't have a car?



That's exactly it. I had a car.

I mean, it burned. It caught fire.



- Burned.

- Burned.



"Deader than a doornail. "



- Remember that?

- No.



Postman Always Rings Twice.

Johnny Garfield.



Remember he said that to the cop?

That's why I said it to you.



You're a cop. I said it to you.

He said it...



The cop said it to him. He said it back.

"Deader than a doornail. " Remember?



Don't you remember in Body and Soul,

he said:



"What are you gonna do, kill me?

Everybody dies"?



A lot of people say

I'm reminiscent of Garfield too.



Yeah, well, you're pretty good.



- Well...

- Yeah.



What you do, I guess you guys

are good too.



Hey, who knows, maybe we'll work

together again sometime.



Bang, bang.






Well, they're obviously onto us.



They must have a little bit more

than they're making on to, you know?



What do we do?

What's the next step?



I don't know. I'm not sure. I've never

been in a spot like this before.



Sure gets your adrenaline going,

doesn't it?



Gets you all pumped up.



Feel like we're making some

momentum now.



I mean, they're snooping,

we're moving.



I'd like to try something new,



rather than just making statements

all the time.



A monologue. A soliloquy.

Some shit like that.



Maybe I just gotta reinvent myself

a little bit.



Reinvent yourself?

How do you reinvent yourself?



Oh, that's deep acting stuff.

It's past Strasberg and...



What's the Russian...?

The Russian...?



- This Russian guy, the other Method...

- Gretzky?



Gretzky? That's hockey.



Stanislavsky. That's it.



Hockey. Gretzky.



It's not your fault.

You're not supposed to know anyway.



It's my back yard.

I'm supposed to know.



The name slipped my mind.

The name slipped my mind.



Stanislavsky. Yeah, it's deep.



Worry about the camera.

Worry about the camera.



Just get that camera right

when I nail it.



Because I got them right now.

I know I do.






I think those detectives

are following me.



Don't turn around.



They're following me around now.



So I think the time has come.



Yeah, what we're figuring is we're

gonna get out of town a little bit.



All right, look, meet me at

the Errol Flynn house at  :  .



Errol Flynn, OK.



Hey, William.



Come on, you want a hot dog?

I'll treat you.



Let me have two dogs

and a couple of lemonades.



I don't want a...

I don't want a lemonade.



- You don't want lemonade?

- No.



No, my father, he gave me

a lemonade when I was a little kid.



He let me stay up

and watch Fright Night.



You know, this might be a good time

to split up, Will.



You and Lorraine?



No, me and you.



See, if I get in the car and drive away,

those cops will follow me.



You can just walk away, home free.






They'll never find you.






I feel responsible. I mean,

I'm the one that got us into this.



You shouldn't have to

go through this.



I started the S.O.S.



That's right.

I forgot, you're the founder.



You sure?



Yeah, I wanna stay with you.






Hey, where'd you go for

those dogs, the ASPCA?



Let's go. We got cops

chasing us over here.



Shake them up a little.



They still there?



These guys must know more

than they're letting on.



They must not have enough, though.

They'd pull us over, right?



Are you gonna try and lose them?



Yeah, we gotta lose them.



How'd they lose those cops

in all those fucking movies?



They always lose them.



Wait, fuck. We just did.

We just lost them.



They're at the light.

They got caught in the light.



If I was a cop, I'd go through it.

Fucking dopes.



So this is for the best,

don't you think?



I could've been good for this town.



I think I could've been

a hell of an actor.



It takes more than talent, Jimmy.



I'm sorry I didn't take you dancing

to Ciro's.



I would have liked to have seen you

in a tuxedo.



Just once.



It would've been fantastic.



That's just a little too overwhelming.



I don't know what I should do.



Kiss you, hug you



or slap the shit out of you.



I gotta go.






I can't believe I didn't make it.



I used to visualize the people

back East saying:



"Remember Jimmy Alto, we used to

call him 'Jimmy Hollywood'?



"He went out to California,

made it big. "



I just can't believe it.



I really feel bad for Lorraine, you know.



She had her heart set on, you know,

the whole beauty-salon thing.



I mean, with my contacts,



she could've became the first

woman hairdresser to the stars.



She could've been as big as

Cristophe or José Eber, I mean...



She had a great name for it too,

don't you think?



She had a great name for it too,

don't you think?



Lorraine de la Peña.



Like Oscar de la Renta.



At least Hollywood's gonna

remember Jericho.



I just wish they knew that

he was played by Jimmy Alto.



- What do you make of this shit?

- I don't know.



Hey, you think this is that guy

that got shot?



I don't know. I can't tell from here.



I can't tell.



What the fuck

am I gonna do here, William?



I don't know.



These might be other guys.

Other lowlifes.



I knew I should have worn

my seat belt.






These guys are playing games.



I hate guys who give me

the high beams.



What the hell was that

all about, huh?



Do you think it was that drug guy

we put in the bathtub?



I don't know. I don't know.



I mean, they obviously didn't know

we were the S.O.S., right?



I mean, imagine if we were just average

citizens and didn't know what to do.



I mean, we could have got hurt.



Why us, out of the clear blue sky?



It just goes to show you, I mean, the

craziness that's going on around here.



It's crazy.



I don't think we can leave town

just yet.



First, Jimmy Alto's gotta go public.



Before I leave town, I go public.



One last hurrah.



- You think that's a good idea?

- Yeah.



I mean, if you're gonna take a hit show

off the air, you gotta go out in style.



You gotta leave them

with some kind of a hook.






Reveal the identity of Jericho.



Jimmy Alto is Jericho.



You know, if I'm gonna make

my farewell speech,



I'll need an appropriate setting.



Something, someplace

that speaks Hollywood.



The Hollywood Bowl, that's it.



Jimmy Alto at the Hollywood Bowl,

one night only.



What do you think?



The Hollywood Bowl.



I mean, look at this. This is great.



What are you gonna do?

You gonna find better than this?



What the hell am I gonna say?

What am I gonna say?



You know, let's face it, Will.



You know, we actually did some good.



You know? I mean, that was not

the purpose, but what the hell, huh?



Yeah, crime is down.



I forget how much, but it is down.



Why was I going public?

I can't even remember the reason now.



You think it was those drug guys

from the other time?



I don't know. I don't know.



It's hard to tell the lunatics

from one another. I don't know.



It's insanity.

What do you want, motives?



It's not like this is

Murder, She Wrote, William.



I mean, there are no motives




They could've been playing games.

I don't know who they were.



I mean, it's all insanity.

You wanna make logic out of insanity?



What am I gonna say?

I'm trying to think.



Is today the   th?



I don't know. Why?



Because I got my M.R.I. Appointment

on the   th, you know?



Oh, that's wonderful, Will.



We have police closing in on us,



lowlifes smashing into the car,

they shoot at us,



and you're wondering about

your doctor's appointment?



You'll probably get a bullet

in your fucking head



before you get a chance

to do your M.R.I.



What am I gonna say?

What the hell am I gonna say?



What a time not to know

what to say.



I mean, I have a chance to say it right

here and be in everybody's living room,



and I can't think

of anything to say. Shit.



What a minute.

This is the   th.



Jimmy! This is the   th.



I got my appointment with the doctor

for my M.R.I. Thing today.



William, we are leaving town.



Do you understand that we are

getting out of town?



I know, but it's gonna take

forever to reschedule.



Can't I just go do my M.R.I. Thing

right now,



and then we can both

scoot out of town then?



The sun's coming up.



I want this speech to work

at the appropriate moment,



like Easter Sunday services,

with that light just breaking through.



What do you think? Are you sure?



The vigilante Jericho

has made his name known



in the following videotape.



Hello, Mr. And Mrs. Hollywood.



This is Jimmy Alto,



better known to you as Jericho.



It's a very sad time for the S. O.S.



The police are forcing us

to leave town.



I'll come back and pick you up.

What do you think? A couple hours?



I don't know. It could be.



I got the Sony Watchman and the

Hollywood and the Stars tapes,



so I'll just watch that, OK?

They're in here.



- Be careful, don't lose my tapes.

- I won't.



It's just a matter of time before

they get me, but think about this:



Look at the time and energy

the police are spending to find me



and the members of the S. O.S.

A task force.



But are we a threat to the citizens

of this city? No.



Has the S. O.S. Ever robbed or raped

or killed citizens of this city? No.



Is this same police energy directed

towards the S. O.S.



Also applied to the criminal element

of this city? No.



People are afraid to go out at night

for fear of being robbed or killed.



Women are terrified to go into

underground parking garages



for fear of being attacked.



We're guaranteed in

the Declaration of Independence



life, liberty and the pursuit

of happiness.



No, the police just left.



The shit's really gonna hit

the fan now.



- What are you talking about?

- Well, I've gone public.



I made a video saying that Jericho

is really Jimmy Alto.



No, don't tell me that.



I can't talk now, but I'm bigger

than ever. I've gone public.



I'm defying them to come and get me.

That's what my message is.



Jimmy, listen to me. Listen to me.



I can't. I can't, I gotta run.

Clock's ticking, honey.



I'll call you when I get

wherever it is I'm going. Bye.



Look what's happening

to the quality of our life.



What kind of liberty is it

when the innocent people



have to live behind bars

to protect themselves?



How can we pursue our happiness

when we live in fear?



I think we could sue the government

of the United States,



because our civil rights

are being violated.



This is a society that's being strangled

to death by the criminal element.



And what's being done?



What is being done is

they're trying to get Jericho.



They're trying to get the S. O.S.



- He's very convincing.

- Yeah, he's a good actor.



But he's not a vigilante.

That's the problem.



- He's not a vigilante?

- No.



Police Chief Cummings had this to

say about the Jimmy Alto speech:



I think this man Jimmy Alto

is missing the point.



The reason we're trying to get him

as quickly as possible



is we can't allow anarchy

on our streets.



Anarchy? You got anarchy

up the ass, pal.



Anarchy with cappuccino.



...we cannot sanction that type

of behavior.



What the hell is going on?



...present time, there are over    

policemen assigned



to track down Jimmy Alto

and the S. O.S.



Detectives on the special task force



estimate there are    to   

members of the S. O.S.



And we believe them to be

heavily armed and dangerous.



Excuse me.



I must be a mirage.



Excuse me, do you know

where I might find William?



- William who?

- William. Little guy,



got a hat on, head problems,

here to see... He's getting an M.R.I.



I must have a last name, sir.



William... William, I don't know.



Sorry, I must have the last name.









Aren't you Jimmy Alto?



I just saw your Jericho speech



- on the television.

- Oh, yeah?



I think it's a wonderful thing

you're doing.



- Thank you.

- I'd love to have your autograph.



- Oh, well, I don't have a pen.

- You're a hell of a guy, Jimmy Alto.



I agree     percent.



- What channel did you see it on?

- On PBS.



Señor Vigilante.






Where the hell you been?

I've been looking all over for you.






- What do you mean, "when"?

- I got you a root beer.



Oh, shit, look at this.



It's really dark in here.



- Where'd you get that?

- The car-radio guy.



Let me see that.



What the hell building is this?

Looks like a pyramid, don't it?



These look like Egyptian hieroglyphics.



- Isn't that where they bury mummies?

- Don't worry, Will.



He's not even in Philadelphia yet.



What do we do now?



I don't know.

I guess the best thing to do



is to wait until dark,

and then we'll sneak out of here.



Good afternoon.

Breaking news in Hollywood.



Hollywood police have surrounded

the old Egyptian Theatre,



- Ten minutes.

- where they apparently have



cornered the man

who calls himself Jericho,



who we now know is Jimmy Alto.



Did you bring my Hollywood tapes?



- Yeah.

- Get them out.



The Egyptian Theatre's been derelict

for some time,



so it's conceivable that it could be

the S.O.S. Headquarters.



We intend to cordon off the area and

make sure the situation is contained.



Do you think they could have

explosives in there?



...there has been absolutely

no movement,



but so far no shots have been fired.



But we still don't know from police

how many people there are inside.



Police have the situation

basically under control.



It's basically wait and see



what will Jimmy Alto's

next move be.



As you can see

from the number of police...



For the hopefuls who have flocked

to Hollywood through the years,



the studios were citadels

to be conquered.



Because there were so many

who came,



hoping to succeed in pictures,



the producers hid themselves

from their onslaught



behind their bars and walls.



From the outside,



the studios can seem as bleak

and uninviting as fortresses.



I think it takes a great deal to...



...withhold and withstand



the mass competition

that you do have



and to not give up.



Because it's very easy to give up.



There are roles that you think

you just are on the verge of getting,



and then it turns out

they go to someone else.



They still come, the young aspirants

to Hollywood success.



One sees them like moths,

fluttering in the glare of neon lights.



Hollywood is a town in transition.



Hollywood promises to become

part of another supercity,



like a lot of supercities in America.



But the dream persists

that there is still magic here.



At night, from a high building

or hilltop,



when the lights of the city

are like beacons down below,



the dream persists.



Can the police estimate

just how many members of the S. O.S.



May be inside the theater

at this point?



Well, if they can, they're certainly not

giving us any information about that,



but judging from the manpower

they have outside



and the weapons they're carrying,

they're ready to take on an army.



Well, are they speculating,

or could you, perhaps, speculate



on just how long this standoff

can last, Paul?



Are the police considering

forcing their way into the building?



Great documentary, huh?

Great documentary.



Think I'm just gonna

have a look around a little bit.



...rather quickly since earlier today,



when this station

received the latest S. O. S...



- Jimmy. Jimmy.

- What?



You don't have to go

take a look around.



- What?

- It's all right here.



What are you talking about?



There's, like, a million cops out there.



...Jimmy Alto, an unemployed actor

who lives in Hollywood.



Holy shit.

All those people are out there?






So much for sneaking out

inconspicuously tonight, huh?



...and have secured the building.



Yes! Look at this, Will.



Fans. They're our fans.



One thing I wanna point out to you

when you see it,



all these people out here,

it's like an old Hollywood premiere.



They're a fan club. The police want

Jericho, or Jimmy Alto, in custody.



These people want to applaud him.



In Hollywood, we have the hyphenate

of actor/writer, producer/director.



Well, now we have a new

hyphenate: Actor/vigilante.



Jimmy Alto, we know him as Jericho...



Well, there's still a tremendous amount

of police activity here...



...special weapons and tactics team

continue to...



...new information that Jericho

may actually be an actor.



Well, as far as I'm concerned,

he's a vigilante.



If he's an actor,

he's playing on the wrong stage.



We've managed to obtain a video

of Jimmy Alto's taped audition...



Look, look, they got...

They got your audition tape.



- Apparently, he did not get the part.

- Let me see that beauty.



- They're showing it on television?

- Yeah.



What are you saying, I can't?

Because I'll kill him.



See, now, this one I did better

in another take.



Why'd they put that take in there?



- He's not dangerous.

- Think you can get him out of here?



- He's just an actor.

- Police have apparently persuaded



Jimmy Alto's girlfriend, Lorraine

de la Peña, to negotiate with Alto,



in hopes of coaxing

the S. O.S. Leader



- out of the theater peacefully.

- Jimmy Alto.



- Jimmy, this is the police.

- Here. Don't look up at the ceiling.



He's right there.



We have Lorraine out here,

out in front.



She wants to talk to you.



I better get out there.

Watch... Watch on this.



Stay here, just in case.



She is now walking up to

the front doors of the theater.



Hey, Lorraine.



I think it would be good if we talked.



Come on in.

Show's about to begin.



What happened?

How the hell did you end up here?



Well, William's M.R.I. Took a little

longer than we thought it would,



and, I don't know,

one thing led to another and...



Yes, one thing leads to another,

but not to this.



This building is surrounded.



- Yeah?

- Yeah. It's like an army out there.



Hollywood Boulevard

is really happening, huh?



You have to come out.



Hey, did you see they showed

my audition tape on television,



- from Urban Nomad?

- Yes.



- From Urban Nomad?

- Yes.



I thought it was pretty good,

what'd you think?



Yes, Jimmy, very good.



You know, they used to show

classic movies in this place.



OK, let's get William,

and we'll go out together. OK?



I'm not gonna give up, Lorraine.



Not now.

This is the greatest role of my life.



You've got to know how

crazy this is, Jimmy.



They will kill you.



They're ready.



I'll never get another role

as good as Jericho.



Nothing this good.



You never know.



I do know.



I'm a one-role actor.



Brando, he's an actor.



Stanley Kowalski,

Streetcar Named Desire.



Terry Malloy, On the Waterfront.



The Godfather.



I don't have that in me.



Think of it this way, Jimmy.



Look at all the attention

you're getting.



And the charges against you

probably won't be that great.



You'll be out in a couple of years.



And you'll be acting, for sure.



This is the role,

I'm gonna play it out.



You've played it out, Jimmy.



It's over.



No, it's not over.



Every great role has a great ending.



I am not gonna cheat that.



I want you

to take William out with you.



- William!

- Yeah?



Come here.



- What happened? What?

- I want you to do me a favor.



Hey, Lorraine, we saw you

on the little TV here.



You look good,

you look very photogenic.



- Good.

- Will,



I want you to leave with Lorraine.



- You think that's a good idea?

- Yeah, I do.



- I want you to leave.

- OK.



Whatever happened to those

big, romantic Hollywood endings?



I don't know.



- Will, you gotta leave me these guns.

- OK.



I need this. This too.









It's OK.



The mummy's gonna stay with me.

You're safe.









Hey, Jimmy. Can you see me?



Yo, Jimmy.



You all right?



We're not sure who the man is.



Apparently, one of the members

of the S. O.S.



There appears to be some sort of

negotiation taking place.



They're evidently getting demands



from someone inside

the Egyptian Theatre.



Jericho! Jericho! Jericho!

Jericho! Jericho! Jericho!



Apparently, Jimmy Alto

came out to Los Angeles



from the New Jersey area

about seven years ago.



He was an

aluminum-siding salesman



as well as being involved

in kitchen remodeling,



but decided that acting

was his calling in life.



It's a very interesting situation

because he's acting out this part,



and we're not exactly sure

how it's going to end,



because he's writing the script.

It's in his hands at this point.



What are you gonna do, kill me?

Everybody dies.



What are you gonna do, kill me?

Everybody dies.



What are you gonna do, kill me?



Everybody dies.






What are you gonna do, kill me?






What are you gonna do, kill me?






- What are you gonna do, kill me?

- What are you gonna do, kill me?



- Everybody dies.

- Everybody dies.






What are you gonna do, kill me?



- Everybody dies.

- Everybody dies.



Everybody dies.

Everybody dies.



I'm coming out.



Keep your hands above your head

in plain sight and walk.



I don't have any guns, see?



Nothing in the front of me,

nothing in the back of me.



Take him down!



Jericho is dead.



Perhaps the most infamous vigilante

this country has ever known.



And a mighty fine actor, I might add.



I was just a lost kid on the Boulevard

until Jimmy saved me.



He truly is a genius,

what else can you say?



He's a genius. He's a genius in a town

that doesn't embrace geniuses.



To you, you may have killed

a vigilante.



But for me, you kill...



...the love of my life.



You may have cut short



potentially one of the great

acting talents of our time.



I think we can all mourn that loss.






What are they gonna do, kill me?

Everybody dies.



I'm coming out.



Keep your hands above your head

in plain sight and walk.



I don't have any guns, see?



Nothing in the front of me,

nothing in the back of me.



- Everybody down!

- Front shield!



Who was that, James Cagney?



I had to tell them.



I forgot I told you I had blanks.



Some vigilante, huh?



Think of it this way.

In Hollywood, they always use blanks.



Yeah, yeah, sure.



Blanks. Hollywood.



We now go to Paul Jackson

outside the Egyptian Theatre.



Paul, has Jimmy Alto ever worked

as an actor out here?



Well, Hal, we've done some checking,

we've found no information



that Alto's ever worked

as an actor here.



No motion pictures,

no television shows.



- Nothing at all.

- Well, what about commercials?



How about industrial films,

for example?



No commercials, no industrial films,

no movies, no television shows.



No commercials, no industrial films,

no movies, no television shows.



We've checked the gamut,

and we've found no information



that he's ever acted, Hal.



Thanks, Jimmy.

You made a difference!



Bye, Jimmy, we love you!



Thank you!



I could never have appreciated this

if I was dead.



Beautiful work. Wow, beautiful.



Steve McQueen, Clint Eastwood.



Even James Cagney, none of them

could have done any better.



I don't think so. None of them.



Is this a principal role?



I mean, because I came here

for a principal role.



- They said it was a principal role.

- No, this is what we're casting now.



Two lines? I'm not doing two lines.

I didn't come here for two lines.



I was told it was a principal role.



This is what we're casting today.



Now, wait a second.

I'm... You know...



Is the casting director here

or something?



- I'm sorry.

- Somebody I can talk to, because...



- This is bullshit.

- Shh, Jimmy.



- All right, cut, cut.

- OK, everybody, take five.



Jimmy, you're not supposed

to speak during a take.



Yeah, but I'm sorry, I mean,

this is nonsense. I don't believe this.



I don't buy it for a minute.

What, is this guy dreaming or what?



- I can't have talking on the set, Jimmy.

- Sorry.



He got excited.



- It's his life.

- Yeah, yeah, I know. It's OK.



Yeah, but his life

didn't happen like that.



I mean, that's not what was going...



I'm sorry. Sorry.



- Well, what's the problem?

- Harrison, let me deal with this.



No, no, let him talk.



- Go ahead.

- Hope you don't mind.



I don't mean to step on your toes

or anything, Mr. DeMille.



You see, Harrison,



when I came into this casting office,



let me tell you what I was thinking.



Let me tell you what I was feeling.



I believed I was entitled

to the principal role.



All right, William,

let me see playback.



I knew that I was made for that.



You see, I wasn't gonna waste my time

doing these two piddly little lines.



- I had confidence.

- Yeah, I understand.



- I wasn't begging them for the part.

- No.



I felt in my soul

that the principal role was for me.



- OK.

- I knew what I had to do...




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