Julien Donkey Boy Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Julien Donkey Boy script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Harmony Korine movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Julien Donkey Boy. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Julien Donkey Boy Script



Hey, buddy,

whatcha got?



A turtle.



Oh, man.



What're you gonna do

with it?



Keep it.



Do you want to play

turtle with me?



If you can find another one.



I think there's

another one in there.



Is there    turtles

in that pond?






There's    turtles

in that pond,



two turtles on the rock.



Yeah, I got a turtle.



Where are the turtles?



- I want a turtle for Daddy.

- Hey, wait.



Can't I get a turtle

for Daddy?



No, you can't get one.



Almighty God,



see now your faithful servant...



as he lies in great weakness...



and bless him

with everlasting life...



in the name



of your Son,



have mercy on him.

Lamb of God,



you take away our sins.



Have mercy on him.



Lamb of God,

you take away our sins.



Lamb of God,

you take away our sins.



Lamb of God,

you take away our sins...



Have mercy on us.



Stop wrestling.



Kiss, kiss.



Kiss Mommy.

Kiss, kiss Mommy.



I love Punky.

Nice baby.



I love Punky.

Mommy says Punky nice baby.




You love Mommy?



It's the end of wrestling.



Back together.

Back together again.






That's right.

That's right...



Hail, Lord Julien!

Hail, Lord Julien!



He made all the people

bow down before him...



Julien, Lord!

Julien, Lord!



Frere Jacques,

Frere Jacques,



Mommy too,

Mommy too,







I'll have you,

I'll be you.



Frere Jacques,

Frere Jacques,



Mommy too, Mommy too,



Where are all the monkeys?

Where are all the monkeys?



In the zoo.



That's what I want to know.

That's what I want to know.



That's what I want to know.

That's what I want to know.



That's what I want to know.

That's what I want to know.



That's what I want to know.

That's what I want to know.



Take your teeth out.



Sorry, Chris.



You don't want 'em to rust

or something.



- I'm sorry.

- That's how you rot your teeth.



Chris got me my, uh--



Chris got me fronts

for my birthday.



- They're nice, right?

- Excellent.



I'm gonna let 'em rinse.



You should rinse them

in fresh water.



I only rinse them

in this juice.



This looks like

a state dinner.



When the queen was in Russia,



and there was this president

and his name was Brezhnev,



and he had these false teeth.



And during the state dinner,

he would take out his false teeth



and clean it with a fork.



After he ate?



I gotta do that as well.



- Tell her to sit straight.

- Yeah.



No, she should sit straight.



Is that right?

I see.



Tell her.



You eat good?

You like it?






- She should sit straight.

- Yeah.



- Make her sit straight.

- Sit straight, Pearl.



She listens to you.



- Papa?

- Yes.



Am I sitting straight?



Yes, you are.

But look at your brother.



He thinks he's a wrestler.



Look at the guy.



It doesn't make sense to me.






do not take product

if you are hypersensitive."






Am I hypersensitive?



Oh, my God.



I didn't hit right.



Am I hypersensitive?



Am I persistent?



Damn it.



Natural high...



like in the mountains,



high up.



Where are you,

Mount Everest?



Give me some Everest.



I started something like this

in the aftermath



of the Spanish conquest

of Peru.



There was a lot of infighting.



They formed parties,



and there was this unbelievable

amount of greed



among the Spanish.



And there was on one side,

Pizzaro and his brothers...



And on the other side,

there was Almagro...



And he was one

of the principal leaders,



and boy, the guy

really looked so ugly,



they sent a delegation

to the Spanish king



and Almagro looked

so gross and ugly,



they couldn't even

send him out there.



And there's this wonderful story



about this old

Spanish nobleman



who was well into his   s,

who's been involved in campaigns



back in Europe, and then

the conquest of Mexico,



conquest of Peru.

He was white-haired,



and in all this fighting,

he was on one side,



I think sticking

to Pizzaro's side,



and all of a sudden he rides

into an ambush of his enemies,



and he rides on his horse and

they point their muskets at him



and they were just about

to shoot him...



and he knows he's gonna be dead

in a minute...



and he just defiantly

sings a song against them.



And what he sings is,

"Little mother, two by two,



wafts the wind on my hair."

I truly like that.



- What are they doing?

- I don't know.



Come here. Come here.



See, from here

I can see all the way across



the whole New York City,



almost across to Los Angeles.



It's a big town, baby!



I can see practically from here

to the other side of America.



I can see right over

to the west coast.



I can see right over from

the east coast to the west coast.



Oh, man! Thanks, man,

for telling me.



There's no paper

in this thing.



No, you've got paper.

It's in the plastic bottom.



It's full.

It's full.



- That sounded like it's moving.

- I'm trying to make it move.



I think we need that guy

from the office.



You'd better wash your hands.



You'd better be

wearing shoes.



I'm wearing shoes,

let me tell you.



You can't wear these

in here.



- What size?

- Huh?



- What size?

- Uh, seven.



It's a heavy one.

Can you hold it?



You've got a heavy one.

This one's lighter.



You got it!

You got it!



Get back from the line.

Back from the line, man.



You cheated.

You cheated already!



Behind the line.



- Go for it.

- Can I have some respect, my man?



Yeah! Yeah!



That's it.

Good boy.



Don't scream.

I don't want you to scream.



This is it.

Come on, keep still.



Don't shift around.



Come on.

Be a man.



Be a man and quit that

moody brooding.



- Quit that.

- It's too cold.



- Come over here.

- Stop!



Stop it.






Come on, be a man.



It might even

seep through your skin,



and you'll put on

some weight.



Shut up.



Come on, you don't

talk like this.



- Shut up.

- You don't talk like this.



Just be a man.

Go down-- squat down.






Okay, come here.

Come here.



I don't want this escaping.



Just-- all this moody brooding,

I just don't like that.



Down, down.



Raise your arm.



Come closer to me,

and don't be a coward.



I don't want a coward

in the family.



Come here.



- You want me to win?

- Yes, I want you to win.



And don't be a coward.

Don't be a--



My son is not

gonna be a coward.



Stop it!






That is gonna put

some weight on you.



Stop that shivering.



I don't want you

to shiver like that.



Don't shiver.

You're a man.






Don't shiver like that.



You're gonna be a winner.

Just don't shiver.



A winner doesn't shiver.




I can't ever fucking win!



I'm gonna be a winner!

I'm gonna fucking be a winner!



I'm tired of fucking losing.



Lamb of God...



You take away

the sins of the world,



Have mercy on us.



Lamb of God...



You take away

the sins of the world,



Have mercy on us.



Lamb of God...



You take away

the sins of the world,



Grant us peace.



Lean on Jesus,



Lean on Jesus,



Leaning on

the everlasting love.



Leaning on

the everlasting love.



That's cute.



That's too dirty.



How much are the onesies?



- Two for a dollar.

- Two for a dollar.



I'm looking for

more newborn stuff.



- Did you look on the table?

- There's bigger--



There's no real infant

clothes on the table.



It's mostly in boxes.

I don't know what I'm gonna have,



so I have to get,

you know, both.



I think it might be

a boy, though.



- First one?

- I think it might be a boy.



- First one?

- Yeah.



You'll be blessed, then.



I might have seen

a teeny weenie on the sonogram.



Yeah, well, that means

you're blessed.



- First baby.

- My first baby.



They say your womb is blessed

when you have a boy first.



- Really?

- Yeah.



That's kind of sexist,

don't you think?



I don't know. They say,

"First a boy, second a girl."



The girls come in after

the boys, you know that.



Do you have   c?



No, I don't.

I'm sorry.



- Here you go. Good luck.

- Thank you.



Thank you very much.



How are you doing?



So now I'm gonna do

an internal on you, okay?






You're gonna feel some jelly.

It's a little cold.



Just try to relax.

You'll feel my fingers, okay?



- Are you all right?

- Mm-hmm.



Okay, everything feels good...



Getting big.



Head is down.







All right, you can put

your legs together.



- Who's the father?

- Father?



Why is the wind blind?

The wind is blind.



The wind's actually blind.






'cause the wind's a breeze.



The breeze's a zephyr. The zephyr's

a yarn, a yarn is a tale.



I can't get over it.

I can't get over it.



I can't get--

I can't get over it.



You know what I mean?



I like hers as well.

I like hers as well.






If you make the hill

go downhill,



it's gonna be a lot easier.



You make it go downhill.



It's gonna be much easier.



The hill's going up.



Mostly the hill goes up.



You get a hill

that goes downhill,



gonna be much, much easier.



All the way, Hosanna Bay...



Excuse me? Excuse me?



Do you know my family tree?



Is my family tree this tree,

or that tree?



- I don't know.

- I had a family in my tree--



I got one--

to the other tree.



It's hard to tell.

It's hard to tell.



One way you are,

the other way you are.



The only way is the NYPD.

Don't want to argue with the NYPD.




I love the NYPD.



My friends and my brother.

My friends and my brother.



You do not know

what you are asking.



Can you drink of the cup

I am to drink of?




then said...



'You know how those

who exercise authority--'"



God is looking on me



with disgust.



Jesus has been seeing me.



He thinks that

I should not be...



a member of the church

community any longer,



and I just feel

very difficult.



But those sentiments

aren't from God,



nor from Christ.



And it flies in the face

of all that we've been taught



about God and the ministry

of God and Jesus.



The Father

is compassionate,



and His rain falls upon

the just and the unjust.



His sun shines upon the good

and the wicked,



because that's how He is.

God is good, and God is love.



There's no room in God



for looking upon

a child of His with disgust,



or wanting to cast him out

from the body of Christ



or something like that.



So these are thoughts

that we can impose on ourselves,



or actually the power

of darkness can,



as it were,

whisper them in our ear.



But I really have to say to you

that they're not from God.



Have you ever done

counseling with anybody,



or therapy with anybody?



Or psychotherapy?



No, I haven't.



We have a counseling center

I'll give you that, all right?



I give that to you because there

are names and phone numbers there.



They can be helpful

for a phone conversation,



or just to come in one time

and have a talk,



you know,

this kind of thing.



But there's no reason

for a young man like yourself



to think that being

either anxious or stressful



is an untreatable situation.



- Thank you very much.

- All right.



I'll give you a blessing

before you go.



- All right?

- Thank you, Father.



- Very good.

- Thank you very much.



Sometimes I get

sinful thoughts.



My mom told me

when I was six years old,



that all I have to do

is grab the energy.



I don't have the strength.

I don't have the body.



I have to have the energy.



I grab the stake,

and that's it.



- Look at her.

- She's got the energy.



Yeah, yeah,

but it's backwards.



Is it a Rittberger?



I don't know what it is.

Who cares what it is?



Look at her do that. See?



- That is not gonna be an ace.

- Wanna bet?



There it is again.



You're are cheating.

You are cheating all the time.



- What?

- You're cheating all the time.




Cards up my sleeve?



I don't think so.



You're hiding

the aces somewhere.



I wouldn't say

up your sleeves.



No sleeves.

See? No sleeves.



But the aces are there.

It's true.



I'll tell you what,

it's as simple as that...



When you're born different,

stuff happens.



Some stuff's good,

some stuff's bad.



For me,

it worked out.



Not an ace again.

There won't be an ace again.



Sure you don't want to bet

any money on this?



There it is again.



Anything's possible.

It's magic.



It's these magic toes.



She's got magic toes, too,

but hers are in skates.



How do you do that?



I told you,

I learned it as a kid.



It was my equalizer.

If you're born without arms,



You learn to use your feet.

That's the physical part.



The rest, that's where

you learn.



It's the attitude.

Look, she's got attitude, too.



You come over here

and pout about your world,



and I'm telling you, you have

to adopt a positive attitude.



It's not like those people on TV

that sell you stuff, it's real life.



It's like the ace

that keeps coming up.



We're not on TV,

we're real life.



Grab it!

Grab it and shut up!



Top one?

The top one?



It could be any one.

It could be in the middle.



It could be anywhere.

It's on top.



There it is again.






Positive thinking--

I know it sounds like crap,



but it works for me.



- You're a cheater.

- You're my friend.



I don't do to hurt you,

I do it to show you a lesson,



to help you learn, buddy.



Come on, Chris.



Why don't you take

this dress?



What you want me

to do with it?



- It belonged to your mom.

- Yeah?



She wore it

when we got married.



Why don't you put it on?



It's very nice.



You're the only one

who looks like your mother.



Show me the other one.



It's a summer dress.



Just put it on, Chris.

Just put it on...



and dance with me.






Since your mother left,

I've never danced.



I'm gonna give you $  .






Come on.

That's a lot of money.



As much as a guy

earns in Bangladesh



for a whole month.



Working in the field,

he earns that much.



It's a lot of money.

A whole family lives on that.



Come on, Chris.





Captured! Stop!



Stay! Stop!






Stop moving!

Shut up!



It wasn't me.

You're a dead man, sonny.



Don't ever come back.



Don't ever come back.

Like in      when you come back.



You ate like a cancer.

You fucking--



you killed the Jews,

you killed the hippies.



You killed all

the mother's titties.



You're a fucking cancer.



You come back in the     s

dressed as a sheriff.



You're here in my bedroom!

Motherfuckin' bedroom wall!



What you doing?

What you doing?



Answer me! Answer me!

Answer! Answer! Answer!



Don't you move!

Don't you move!



Sit down have a cup of tea.

I'm only joking.



Come on in.

Meet my friends.



Hey, this is Julien.

King Julien.



Hey, Julien.

How are you doing, King Julien?



Hey, my good friend,

how are ya doing?



This is Adolf.




He ate my mother's titties,

but hey, he's a friend.



He's a friend.

He's a good friend of the family.



He ate my mother's titties.



Come in.

Come in, Adolf.




King Julien?



Yes, sir.



What is it you want

with me?



I want you to make this man

a guest in your own home,



and make him feel

like he can use a place--



and don't feed him to Mommy.



Don't feed him to grandmother.



Don't feed him to Joyce.



Okay. I promise.




So, Adolf,



sit down.



Now, one of the things

we want to get clear in here



is, at which point did you

come into the Bible,



and at which point

did you leave?



Because in the New Testament,

it says



that you came into the Bible

and met with some of the disciples



at just before

the Feast of Steven.



And it stated that you--

you took--



you turned your left cheek to one

of the disciples and said,



"Never hit me

on my left side,



because if you hit me

on my left side, it hurts."



Anyway, that's all

I wanted to ask.



Anyway, while I make

your acquaintance,



I'd just like to point out

a few things.



When you want

to come in this house,



you've got to--

you've got to--



you've got to stay with me

at all times,



and not upset anyone else

in my family,



because they don't know

that I consort with known Nazis.



That's all.



It's my only condition,

so be at peace.



Another hard day

in the jungle.



Another hard day at the zoo.



Another hard day

at the jungle.



Another hard day at the zoo.






Punky. Come on.

Come on, hurry up.



Come on, angel.

Come on.



Go down.

Go down. Go down.



You don't come?



Okay, bye bye.



Come on.

Come on. Here.



Come on, Punky.




Punky! Punky!



Okay, bye bye.

Come on!



Come on.

Come on this time.



Come on. Hurry up.

Come on.



Come on!

Right away!



Stupid fucking trash can.



I'll fucking--



Number one-- I don't want all

this plastic in my garden.



Do you feel like a winner?



Plastic, plastic, plastic.



I was just playing.



Yeah, but that's not

an opponent.



You've got to be tougher.

Real tough.



You've got to out-gut them,

out-tough them,



outwrestle them.



Outplastic them.



You should be a winner.



There's no winner

around in the house.



I am a winner.



I am a winner!



Here is the subject

of the essay.



Make sure you've marked...



Dance for me!




Oh, I love that!



Oh, yeah!



Well, see, I've got a problem,

Anthony, in my left eye.



I don't even know what you call

the vision in the left eye.



It's not shadows,

it's not anything.



It's just like--



imagine looking through...



a futon plastic bag.



That's how my sight is.

It's really weird.



But I thank God

that I'm healthy--



I can walk--

I pray at night.



Do you ever think,

why God did that?



Why God let it happen?






But there's no reason why

He can't fix it.






The future has a lot of things

in store for us,



for these young

blind people.



God gave me

the intelligence.



My parents-- my grandparents

on both sides are ministers,



and we always argue

about God,



because I don't really believe

in church at all.



I don't--

I don't necessarily believe



that anybody can tell you

how to relate to God.



Nobody can tell you.

It's all up to you.



- He tells you.

- Yeah, that's right.



He tells you.



All he says is,

"Live just, live right,



follow these commandments

and you'll be--"



"Live honestly,"

He says. "Be honest.



Be honest about

who you are."



I say,

when I talk to him,



I've got to thank him

for the day,



'cause I live day by day.



Jesus said in the Bible...



"Cursed be he

who obstructs a blind man--



who obstructs

a blind man's path--



who puts an obstacle

in the path of a blind man."



"Cursed be he who puts an obstacle

in the path of a blind man,



and cursed is he

who sleeps with his sister."



"Cursed be he who sleeps

with his sister."



You know what you were saying

about the commandments?



No, but,

he also says that,



"Present yourself honestly--"



"Present yourself honestly

about who you are,



because if you don't, I'm gonna

make things really bad for you."



"Once upon a time,

there was a young man..."






"For your mind.




"Victor's a nice man.




"Go, Victor.

Go, Julien."



- "Go, James..."

- Yeah.



"I'm a black albino

straight from Alabama,



way down south."



"You know, I'm a black albino,

straight from Alabama



way down south."



"Then you know

that I'm a black albino,



straight from Alabama.




"Check it out.

Well, salutations from Polk,



it's the up above.

There's no mistaking about the name,



- because it couldn't be..."

- Yeah!



All right! All right!



"...black albino,

straight from Alabama..."



- Go, James!

- "...way down south.



Then you know

that I'm a black albino



straight from Alabama,

way down south.



Then you know

that I'm a black albino



straight from Alabama,

way down south.



Then you know

that I'm a black albino



straight from Alabama.

You've got to be smooth.



Oh-- smooth!

What does it mean?



I feel just like the E.F. Hutton

of the hip-hop scene.



I can kick a rhyme

other MCs might miss,



and it goes a little something

like this--



Hit it-- a long time ago,

I couldn't even flow,



you know? I had an Afro,

and I rapped slow.



But I took a look

inside a book,



to find my nook in society.

I'm tired of my piety.



The plan, understand,

was to become the grand man



on the rap stand, and dish out

my own brand of justice,



'cause it seems

that when I bust this,



people gather 'round

and say, "Aw nuts!"



This Polky bust rhymes

the public never heard before.



The suckers bag the mike

and start heading for the door.



...then you know

it's a black albino



straight from Alabama,

way down south.



Then you know

that I'm a black albino



straight from Alabama,

way down south..."



Go, Franklin!




Back in the   s, they had this

world championship



of talking birds.



And they sent all these parrots

and beals--



it's a starling type of bird

from Borneo--



and boy, do they speak well.



But the championship back then

was won by a parakeet,



a little parakeet.



And the parakeet would say,

"Birds are smart,



but they can not speak."



and that really made him



Boy, was that bird good.



You can still buy a record which

repeats and repeats his sentence,



"Birds are smart,

but they cannot speak."



and you can teach your own bird.



Maybe even dogs

are gonna talk one day.



When we were kids arriving

at the breakfast table,



we had to say a poem

and it went like this...



"...Schlup, schlup, schlup,

milch ist gut..."



Then we were allowed to have

our cereal



and coffee and whatever

there was.



He loves me,

he loves me not.



He loves me,

he loves me not.



He loves me...



He loves me not.



He loves me,

he loves me not.



He loves me,

he loves me not.



He loves me,

he loves me not.



He loves me,

he loves me not.



The mailman loves me,

he loves me not.



The mailman loves me,

he loves me not.



The mailman loves me,

he loves me not.



I hate the mailman!



- Hello?

- Mommy?



- Hello, Julien?

- Mommy!?



- Hi!

- Hi, Mommy.



- Hi!

- Mommy.



I can call you "Mother"?



- Mom?

- Yes?



- Hi.

- Hi, Julien.



- Hi, Mom.

- How are you?



I'm doing real good, Mom.

I'm fine.



I'm a lot better now.



Are you a dietitian, still,

or are you a waitress?



No, no.

I'm neither one now.



Okay. I know.

You're a cop.



A traffic cop.



Like a female police officer

of the law.



No. No.

I'm a dentist now.



I fix people's teeth

when they're in pain.






What do you do to dentist?

Did you go to law school?



No, I'm just a basic

general dental practitioner.



People come to see me

when they have, you know,



mouth pain or different

sorts of ailments,



and different sorts

of gum diseases.



Are you going to participate

in any plastic surgery there?



No, sometimes when people

smoke too frequently



their teeth get dirty



and me and my staff

will whiten them



with special dental tools.



What about my teeth, Mom?



I got--

I got gold fronts.



Chris got me

some gold fronts.



My baby brother got me some

gold fronts for my birthday.



That was very nice of him.



Yeah. I can eat through

apples and table tops.



I don't believe you.



I love you, Mom.



I miss you, Mom.

I wish you were still here.



Like when I was

a little baby, Mom.






I love you too, Julien.



And I'm watching you.



All those voices you're hearing,

those are just friendly voices.



No one's out to get you.

No one wants to hurt you.









I wish you were

still here, Mom,



like when I was six,



when I was six you sang me

"Frere Jacques."



"Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques,



dormez vous? "



When I was six,

Pearl was four.



Chris was just

a little baby, Mom.



Remember Chris was just

a little baby?



He killed you

in the hospital.



When they took you away

in the hospital



and they killed you dead.

Remember, Mom?



Chris was just

a little baby boy.



How are your teeth, Julien?



- They're okay.

- Are you brushing daily?



Remember to brush in the crevices,

and in between the teeth,



because that's where

the majority of cavities arrive.



And then floss weekly,

at least,



the minimum you must floss

is once a week.



I promise. I will, I will.

I promise, Mom.



I'll floss like

when you were still alive,



when you were

still in the house.



I'll floss like I did

before you were dead, Mom.



I'll floss like that.

I promise.



Okay, I've got to go.

I got to go.



I love you, Mom.

I really love you.



I love you, too.

I love you, too.



You're my best friend.

You're my best friend, okay?



- Okay. I love you too, Julien.

- I love you too, Mom.



Take good care of your teeth

and you'll always be a happy person.



Okay, Julien?






- Mom?

- Yes?



- Bye, Mom.

- Bye.



I love you. Bye.



This is gonna be

the world-famous ground flip.



Pearl, Pearl, Pearl.



I got a--

I got a--



I got a poem.

You want to hear it?






Daddy, can I read a poem?






"Midnight chaos...



Eternity chaos...



Morning chaos,

eternity chaos,



noon chaos, eternity chaos,

evening chaos,



eternity chaos, midnight chaos,

eternity chaos,



morning chaos, eternity chaos,

noon chaos--



evening chaos,

eternity chaos,



midnight chaos,

eternity chaos...



morning chaos,

eternity chaos,



noon chaos,

eternity chaos,



evening chaos,

eternity chaos...



midnight chaos,

eternity chaos,



noon chaos, eternity chaos,



evening chaos, eternity chaos..."



Julien, cut it out.



"Morning chaos, eternity chaos..."



You're repeating "Chaos, chaos."

It doesn't even rhyme.



- It rhyme with chaos.

- Oh, come on.



Come on, stop that.

That's not a poem.



I'm not finished.



- "Midnight--"

- What kind of poem is that?



It doesn't even rhyme.

You repeat "Chaos, chaos."



It doesn't even rhyme.



- How about that?

- "Midnight..."



Shut up. Shut up.



I don't like it because

it's so artsy-fartsy.



You see, I like

the real stuff.



I like something like, uh,



the end of "Dirty Harry."



I saw this "Dirty Harry,"

and the end is really--



a terrific showdown.






There was this

tremendous shoot out.



You should better listen.

Just listen.



Grandmama, listen.

Just listen.



There was this shoot out.



Dirty Harry has

this bad guy cornered.



I mean, he was

a real bad guy,



and there's this

tremendous shoot out.



They're really exchanging

lots of fire.



They're shooting bullets

at each other



and they keep missing.



At the end the bad guy

somehow drops his gun.



It's just down there

on the bottom.



Harry hovers over him,



and now Harry, he is really

full of contempt.



Harry's standing there,

he's totally full of contempt,



and he says to him,

"We've wasted many of our bullets.



Do you think there's still

a bullet left in your gun? "



and he says to him,



"You know, now you've got

to ask yourself a question:



'Do I feel lucky?'"



At that moment, the bad guy

lunges for his gun,



raises it

and it goes, "click."



He hasn't got a bullet left.

And Harry blasts him away.



He blasts him into a river.



He knocks him off the feet

and blasts him away.



You see,

that's good stuff.



I truly like that.



I don't like

the artsy-fartsy thing.



I think I hated his poem.



Now, Chris I'd like

to see you do that.



You see, it's all balance.



I'd like to see that.



You're really balancing.



I mean, in the balance.

in the balance.



You know what I had to do

when I was a ski jumper



when I was your age?



We had a real, real

mean nasty trick to do.



We put a cigarette

on the ground--



just like that--



and a glass of water.



You just gotta step

on this glass,



and you have to pick it up,

you have to balance.



You have to pick it up

with your mouth without falling.



It's really a tough one.



- You can do it?

- I don't think I can anymore,



but you should be able

to do it.



It's all balance.






Could you ever do it?



Yeah, it was difficult,

but I could do it.



You see, I really wanted

to be a champion.



I really wanted

to be good.



He's going to do it,




Yeah, that's it.



All right.

All right.



Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah.



That's good.



You're gonna do it.



In two or three weeks,

you're gonna do that.



I just did it.



Yeah, but you fell.



You see you've got to


raise up again,



and smoke the cigarette.



That's a proud man who smokes

a cigarette like that.



- I don't smoke.

- You'll learn it.



All right.

All right.



"My bonnie...

lies over the ocean."



Everybody know that one?



"My bonnie lies over the ocean,



my bonnie lies

over the sea,



my bonnie lies

over the ocean,



oh, bring

my poor bonnie to me.



Bring back,



bring back,



bring back my bonnie

to me..."



That's my son up there!



"My bonnie lies over

the ocean,



but my bonnie doesn't lie

over me!"



Let's party!



It's a great act

for blind people.



My first wife

did that.



Not with cigarettes, though.



What else

you got, man?



Get him out of here!

Get him out of here!



Well, that's it.

Thank you very much.









All right!









Amen, Amen, Amen









Amen, Amen, Amen



See the baby Jesus,



Lying in the manger






Amen, Amen, Amen..."



The words are easy.

"Amen..." Amen!









Amen, Amen."



"We don't need no music



We don't need no music



We don't need no music



We don't need no music."



"I feel good--



nah-na, nah-na, nah-na--



I knew that I would--



nah-na, nah-na, nah-na



I feel good--



nah-na, nah-na, nah-na



I knew that I would..."



That's funny.



"So good--



so good--



I've got you.



I feel nice--



nah-na, nah-na, nah-na



like sugar and spice--



nah-na, nah-na, nah-na..."



That's my favorite song.



I love that song.



What song?



That song--

"Nah-na, nah-na, nah.



I feel Tosh--"



That's a really

good song.



I think one day

when my feet break apart,



I'm gonna need new feet.



I'm gonna have to sew

these feet back on.



I met a man that was made of clay,

like me, and he said,



"If you want to have

clay feet,



you've got to listen

to clay tapes."



Stop! That tickles!



I'm sorry.



You don't have to be sorry.



It feels good.



Does this tickle,

with my brush?






All my boyfriends are dead,

and you're gonna die too--



maybe you too, Julien.



I died before, you know.

I died before.



I'm gonna die before I die.



I'm gonna make

a high dive,



and then as soon

as I land in the water,



I'm gonna die.



- Really?

- Yeah.



I'm gonna dive

from the      meter board,



and then I'm gonna fall

and fall and fall,



until I fall in the water,

and then I'm gonna die.



Lillian, David, Sylvia,



Simon, Casey,



Sasha, Scott, Joshua,



Jezebel, Harold, Harry,



Caroline, Sarah, Sylvia,



Simon, Lewis, Michael,



Walter, Brendan, Olivia,



Ethan, Eleanor,



Gloria, or Ellen.



Those are my favorites...

so far.



Do it seriously, Chris.




What sort of outfit is that?

Come on, this is ridiculous.



This is a bikini.

This is not a real outfit.



- Get serious.

- Papa, Papa, Papa.



Julien, the jammin' jabber.

Julien, the jammin' jabber.



Julien, get serious.

Give it some rest.



Stay in your corner.



Chris, you get

in your corner.



I'm gonna start

the match now.



I want him

to wrestle for real.



He's gonna wrestle for real.

You're gonna wrestle for real?



- You ready?

- Chris, what's your name?



What's your wrestling name?



- Chris.

- No, we have to have a name.



like a costume

and a name.



"Julien the jammin' jabber"!

"Julien the jammin' jabber"!



It's real wrestling.

My name's Chris.



- It's real wrestling.

- Okay. All right.



In the center of the ring, Julien.

In the center of the ring.



- That's it. Get serious.

- And shake. Let's shake.



No, no, no.

Shake hands.



- Shake hands.

- You be serious.



I'm referee.

I'm gonna watch them.



- Be serious.

- I know, I know.



You ready for the fight?



Are you ready?











three, wrestle!

Come on.



- Bring it on.

- Take it serious.



- Fucking wrestle me, man.

- Okay, okay.



Grab him.

Get him to the ground.



Come on, Julien.



Julien, the jammin' jabber.



Get into the fight.



Oh, it looks like

he's got him!



They're going down!

Oh, he's got him!



The referee doesn't get

so frantic.



Come on, Chris!

Get his--



get his shoulders down!



Come on, Julien.

You have to fight harder!



Come on!



"Julien, the jabbin' jabber"!



Get serious.



Get serious.



Fight back, Julien!

Fight back! Come on!



Julien, the jabbin' jabber!

Bring it on!



Bring it on!



Take it serious.



Julien, fight back!

Fight back, Julien.



Come on.

Fight back!



Come on.

Fucking fight back.



You're out.







he's up again.



I love you, Chris.

I love you, Chris.






Fucking wrestle me!



What's going on there?



What sort of shit

is that?



Cut it out!

Take it seriously!



God-fucking-damn it!



Disqualified for

bad behavior.



I'm never gonna wear

that again!



I'm never gonna wear

that again!



I found it--

I found it very shitty.




I'm sorry.



Chris, Chris.



Okay, okay!

I won't--



I won't,

I won't hit you.



I don't want

to hurt you, Chris.



I don't want

to hurt you like--



I don't want

to hurt you like--



put you in the hospital...




Fucking act fucking normal

for a second,



and fucking

take it seriously!



I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

I'm sorry...






Excuse me, miss.



Thank you.






Don't you want to go



to that great city



over there,



where the sun



don't ever go down?



Over there,



where every day,



is a day,



of jubilee,



where we will sing...



There may be one



that's out of the ark

of safety.



If you're here,

we invite you to come.



The spirit said, "Come."



And whosoever will,"

He said, "Let it come."



If you come...



I heard,



Jesus said,



"I will in no wise--"



He will in no wise

cast you out.



Come to him right now,



while you still have a chance.

If you are here today.



There is no forgiveness of sins--




and so by the blood of Jesus,



Amen-- we are forgiven

for our sins. Amen.



So I come to tell you today

that, uh...



that the blood

of Jesus Christ



Amen-- cleansed us from all

of our sins.



Thank God for Jesus.

We all are forgiven,



by that same blood.



And I'm glad today,




because when I have

done wrong,



and when my sins

catch up with me,



Jesus, Amen,

when the Lord looks at me,



he don't see me,

but he sees the blood of Jesus.



And when Jesus died

on the cross,



God was dying on the cross.



For God was in Christ Jesus,



reconciling the world

unto himself.



And I'm glad to know

that I'm justified.



I've been set free...




because of the blood

of Jesus.



Not because of what

I have done,



but because of what

He has done.



And I'm glad to know

that Jesus paid the price.



He ransomed us from

the very gates of hell.



I don't know about you,

but I'm glad



that I've been washed

in his blood.



I'm glad to know

that I've been redeemed



by the blood of the Lamb.



His blood has made

my spirit clean,



and His blood has wrote

my name above.



I don't know about you,

but I was a sinner one day,



but I'm glad that I plunged

in that fountain,



Amen, and I've been set

free today.



And I don't know about you,

but I'm glad



that we can sing this song,

"What can wash away my sins? "



We have heard

from heaven today.



The Lord has stopped by

and visited us.



You know, I'm so glad

of one thing,



as we get ready to go...



Amen, I feel good...



I know that can't nobody,



do me like Jesus.



If you don't mind,

we're gonna do just a little bit



of that great song,

and we'll be on our way home.



"Can't nobody...



do me like Jesus,



Can't nobody



do me like the Lord



Can't nobody



do me like Jesus,



He's my friend."






"Can't nobody



do me like Jesus,



Can't nobody



do me like the Lord



Can't nobody



do me like Jesus,



He's my friend.



Can't nobody



do me like Jesus,



Can't nobody



do me like the Lord



Can't nobody



do me like Jesus,



He's my friend."






"Can't nobody

do me like Jesus,



Can't nobody

do me like Jesus..."



"Can't nobody

do me like Jesus,



Can't nobody

do me like Jesus.



Nobody, nobody.



Nobody, nobody.



I said,

nobody, nobody.



Nobody, nobody...



Can't nobody

do me like Jesus,



Can't nobody

do me like Jesus..."



"Nobody, nobody



Nobody, nobody



No, no, no, no, no,




No, no, no, no, no,







why don't you tell your sister

that she's a dilettante?



She's never gonna learn

to play this harp.



She's a dilettante

and she's a slut.



You're a dila--

and a slut.



You're never gonna learn

to play the harp.



I just can't stand this

any longer!



I can't stand this

any longer.



I might accidentally

step on this here.



Come on, don't try

to defend your sister.



You'll just look stupid.



- I'm back.

- You're just stupid!



You look so stupid.



You look utterly

and completely



and irrevocably stupid.



You look so stupid.

If I were so stupid,



I would slap

my own face.



Well, I'm not stupid

like that.



I'm not even stupid

like that.



- Tell him to slap his face.

- No.



- Slap his face.

- No, Julien, relax.



Don't pay

any attention to him.



I ain't gotta be stupid

like that.



Slap your face.

Slap your face.



I ain't gonna be stupid

like that.



Tell him

to slap his face!



Slap your face.

You should slap your face!



You might even wake up.



- Just slap your face.

- No.



If I were as stupid,

I would slap my own face.



Just tell him

to slap his own face.



Why don't you tell him

to slap his own face?



Just slap your face.



Just slap your face.

I'll turn my back.



I'll turn my back and he's

gonna start to slap his face.



You're gonna do it,

because he will wake up.



Slap your face!



- Slap my face?

- Slap your face!



- Like this?

- Yeah.



Tell him

to slap it harder.



Tell him

to slap it harder.



I can't.

It really hurts.



- Slap it harder.

- I can't, it really hurts.



You'll become

more intelligent.



Can it hurt me, Pop?

Can it hurt me, Pop?






Why don't you lie down--



why don't you lie down



and keep on slapping

your face?



Just keep on

slapping your face.



And you take

this fucking harp--



slap your face!



Tell him to slap

his face.



You sing the song--

shut up,



sing the song.



You pluck this fucking thing

and you slap your face.



I just can't take it

any longer.



I just cannot

take it any longer.



Can it hurt me, Pop?

Can it hurt me?



Just sing the song.



Just sing, sing--



just sing the song.



- Can it hurt me...?

- Come on. Stop.



- Come on, sing the song.

- Can it hurt me?



Can it hurt me, Pop?



Just can't stand it.

I just can't take it.



- Can it hurt me, Pop?

- Stop it!



Can it hurt me, Pop? !









"An eye for an eye.

Blood for blood.



Eye for an eye,

tooth for tooth.



Hand for hand,

foot for foot.



The son kills the father,

and collects his blood."






Sorry. They're stupid,

little pieces of crap,



that are glued together.



If you fall with them,

you'll die.



No, no, no.

You're not gonna die.



Because these are the two

safest things in the world.



You've got double blade

technology from ice skating.



You've got the safest thing

in the world, a flip-flop.



I glued them together.

You've got something really secure.



And you've got shoes

you can wear in the house,



you've got shoes

you can wear in the park,



shoes you can wear

on the ice rink.



- It's getting big.

- Your baby's due in two months?



In two months' time

it's due.



How do you think the future

for the baby looks?



- Bright.

- Bright?



- Bright as the sun.

- Whoa.



How come everybody comes out of

their mother's stomach as a baby?



Because they have to be

so small to fit in there.



There's not

a lot of room.



They can't just come out

as    or    year olds,



'cause then it would be

really, really big,



and so painful.



Could you imagine?

That would be horrible.




and your ice cream.



Five bucks a shoe,

and the ice cream.



   bucks? I wouldn't pay

a dime for those.



You know...



I could make those myself.



I'd just take one of my sandals

and put two blades on top.



You think those are actually

gonna make you stand up?



Just leave me alone.

I don't want them.



Okay? Period.

I don't want them.



Ricky, Ricky, Ricky...

you gotta trust me.



Once you wear

my flippy-flips--



You're getting

on my nerves.



If you don't want to stop,



then I'm gonna have to

curse you out in Yiddish, okay?



You know what I used

to think?



I used to think

that I could see a lot,



but I found out

that I couldn't see very much,



that my vision

was almost slim to none.



I thought I could

almost see totally.



So if nobody ever told you,

you would have never known.






I thought I could really see--

almost normal sight,



but, I found out

I'm not even close.



If you don't

leave me alone,



I'm gonna smear this

all over your face.



- Can I get a little bit?

- No, you're not gonna have it.



You're not gonna

have it, period.



Not even-- if you leave me alone,

I'll throw it on the floor,



and I'll let you lick it

off the floor.



Sometimes I wish

I was deaf.



- Why?

- I don't know.



The world is just

too loud.



How about you go home,

and go to the bathroom,



head in the toilet,

and then eat the shit?



I can glide like this.



No, no, no.



Why not?



It's fun.



Slow down.



Slow down, Chrissy.



I've got you.



Trust me.



Let's not go crazy here.



We can still have fun.



We can still have fun,

but I don't want to go fast.



You maybe need a better skater

when you try your tricks.



Oh, no, my skate's undone.



My lace is undone,

we have to go to the wall.



We don't want you

tripping and falling.



No, don't go too fast.

I'm way behind you here.



Hey, these girls

are really good.



Maybe one of them

will skate with you.



Do you want to skate

with one of these girls?






This is really good.



- Are you having fun?

- Yes.



Good. Feeling the wind

in your hair?



Fire! Fire!



Get her in

carefully, now.



How are you feeling, ma'am?



Where does it hurt?



Show me with one finger

where it hurts.



- Right there.

- Okay.



What's the story here?






Was there any bleeding?

Any hemorrhage?



- No, not that I know of.

- Okay.



- Help me, help me.

- You're gonna be okay.



Just try and relax.



Blood pressure in the field

was stable.



Patient at     .



Excuse me, miss?



Do you think I could possibly

see the baby for a moment?



Oh, I'm sorry,

the baby's dead.



I understand,

I understand, but...



It's my baby.



I'd just like--

can I just hold him



before you put the baby away?

Can I just hold the baby?



Sewanee Avenue.



Hill Avenue.






...Avenue... Doris...















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