Kill Bill 2 Volume 2 Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Kill Bill 2 script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie directed by Quentin Tarantino and starring Uma Thurman, Michael Madsen,  David Carradine, Lucy Liu, yadda yadda.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Kill Bill 2. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

Kill Bill Volume 2 Script



(man) Do you find me sadistic?



You know, Kiddo...



...I'd like to believe...


           're aware enough, even now...


            know that there's nothing sadistic...


            my actions.



At this moment...



...this is me...


            my most masochistic.






It's your ba...



(woman) Looked dead, didn't I?



Well, I wasn't.



But it wasn't from lack of trying,

I can tell you that.



Actually, Bill's last bullet

put me in a coma -



a coma I was to lie in for four years.



When I woke up, I went on what

the movie advertisements refer to as



"a roaring rampage of revenge."



I roared, and I rampaged,



and I got bloody satisfaction.



I've killed a hell of a lot of people

to get to this point,



but I've only one more.



The last one.



The one I'm driving to right now.



The only one left.



And when I arrive at my destination,



I am gonna kill Bill.



(  instrumental)



(woman) The incident that happened

at the Two Pines Wedding Chapel



that put this whole gory story into motion



has since become legend.



"Massacre at Two Pines."



That's what the newspapers called it.



The local TVnews called it,



"The El Paso, Texas

Wedding Chapel Massacre."



How it happened, who was there,



how many got killed

and who killed them -



changes depending on

who's telling the story.



In actual fact, the massacre didn't

happen during a wedding at all.



It was a wedding rehearsal.



Now, when we come

to the part where I say,



"You may kiss the bride,"

you may kiss the bride.



But don't stick your tongue in her mouth.






This might be funny to your friends,



but it would be embarrassing

to your parents.



(laughter continues)



We'll try to restrain ourselves, Reverend.



Y'all got a song?



How 'bout "Love Me Tender"?

I can play that.



- Sure.

- Yeah.



"Love Me Tender" would be great.



Rufus - he's the man.



Rufus, who was that

that you used to play for?



Rufus Thomas.



Rufus Thomas.

Rufus Thomas.



I was a Drell. I was a Drifter.

I was a Coaster.



I was part of the Gang.

I was a Barkay.



If they come through Texas,

I done played with 'em.



Rufus - he's the man.



- Have I forgotten anything?

- Um...



Oh yes, you forgot, uh,

the seating arrangements.



- Thank you, Mother.

- Yes.



Now, the way we normally do this -



we have the bride's side,

and then we have the groom's side.



But since the bride

ain't got nobody comin',



and the groom's got

far too many people comin'...



Well, yeah, they're comin'

all the way from Oklahoma.






Well, I don't see no problem with...



...the groom's side

sharing the bride's side.



- Do you, Mother?

- I don't have a problem with that.



But, uh...



Honey, you know, it would be good

if you had somebody come.



You know, as a sign of good faith?



Well, I don't have anybody...



...except for Tommy and my friends.



- You have no family?

- Well, I'm workin' on changing that.



Mrs. Harmony, we're all the family

this little angel's ever gonna need.



I'm not feeling very well,

and this bitch is starting to piss me off.



So while y'all blather on,

I'm gonna go outside and get some air.



OK. Um, uh, Reverend, sorry, uh...



- She's gonna go out and get some air.

- Yeah. Given her delicate condition...



She just needs a few minutes

to get it together. She'll be OK.



(Reverend) Right...



(  flute)



Hello, Kiddo.



- How did you find me?

- I'm the man.



What are you doin' here?



What am I doin'?






...moment ago I was playin' my flute.



At this moment...



...l'm lookin' at the most beautiful bride

these old eyes have ever seen.



- Why are you here?

- Last look.



- Are you gonna be nice?

- I've never been nice in my whole life.



But I'll do my best to be sweet.






I always told you...



...your sweet side is you best side.



I guess that's why you're

the only one who's ever seen it.



- So you got a bun in the oven.

- Hmm.



- I'm knocked up.

- Jeez, Louise.



That young man of yours sure doesn't

believe in wasting time, does he?



Have you seen Tommy?



- Big guy in the tux?

- Yes.



Then I saw him.



I like his hair.



You promised you'd be nice.



No, I said I'd do my best.

That's hardly a promise.



But you're right.



What does your young man

do for a living?



He owns a used record store

here in El Paso.



- Ah. Music lover, eh?

- He's fond of music.



Aren't we all?



And what are you doing

for a J-O-B these days?



I work in the record store.






It all suddenly seems so clear.



- Do you like it?

- Yeah. I like it a lot, smartass.



I get to listen to music all day...


            about music all day.

It's really cool.



It's gonna be a great environment

for my little girl to grow up in.



As opposed to jetting around the world,

killing human beings,



and being paid vast sums of money?






Well, my old friend...


            each his own.



However, all cockblockery aside...



I am looking forward

to meeting your young man.



I happen to be, more or less,

particular whom my gal marries.



- You want to come to the wedding?

- Only if I can sit on the bride's side.



You'll find it a bit lonely on my side.



Your side always was a bit lonely.



But I wouldn't sit anywhere else.



You know...



...I had the loveliest dream about you...



Oh, here's Tommy!

Call me Arlene.



- You must be Tommy!

- Uh-huh.



Arlene's told me so much about you.



- Honey, you OK?

- Oh, I'm fine.



Tommy, I'd like you to meet my father.



Oh, my God!



Oh, my God, this is great!



I'm so glad to meet you, sir... uh, Dad.



The name's Bill.



Well, it's great to meet you... Bill.



- Arlene told me you couldn't make it.

- Surprise.



That's my pop for ya.

Always full of surprises.



Well, in the surprise department...



...the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.



- When did you get in?

- Just now.



- Did you come straight from Australia?

- Of course.



Daddy, I told Tommy that you were

in Perth mining for silver, and...


            one could reach you.



Lucky for us all, that's not the case.






What's this all about?

I've heard of wedding rehearsals,



but I don't believe I've ever heard of

a wedding dress rehearsal before.



We thought,



"Why pay so much money for a dress

you're only gonna wear once?"



Especially when Arlene looks

so goddamn beautiful in it.



So, I think we're gonna try to get

all the mileage we can out of it.



Isn't it supposed to be bad luck

for the groom to see the bride



in her wedding dress

before the ceremony?



Well, I guess I just believe

in living dangerously.



I know just what you mean.



(Reverend) Son.

Some of us have places to be.



(Rufus) Sure do.



Look, we got to go through this one

more time. So, why don't you have a s...



Oh, my God. What am I thinking?

You should give her away!



Tommy, that's not exactly

Daddy's cup of tea.



I think Father would be

much more comfortable



- sitting with the rest of the guests.

- Hmm. Really?



That's asking a lot.



Oh. OK.

Well, forget it.



But how about we go out

to dinner tonight to celebrate?



Only on the condition that

I pay for everything.



Deal. We got to do this now.



- Can I watch?

- Absolutely. Have a seat.



- Which is the bride's side?

- Right over here.



(Reverend) Mother, here we go!



Now son, about them vows...



(  guitar)






- I just want...

- You don't owe me a damn thing.



If he's the man you want...



...then go stand by him.



- Do I look pretty?

- Oh, yes.



Thank you.



(Reverend) What the hell?






(bride) No! Bill!



(machine gunfire)






(bells toll)



(bird chirps)



You tellin' me she cut her way through

   bodyguards before she got to O-Ren?



Nah, there wasn't really    of 'em.



They just called themselves

"The Crazy   "



- How come?

- I don't know.



I guess they thought it sounded cool.



Anyhow, they all fell

under her Hanzo sword.



- She got a Hanzo sword?

- He made one for her.



Didn't he swear a blood oath

to never make another sword?



It would appear he has broken it.



Them Japs sure know how

to hold a grudge, don't they?



Or maybe...


            just tend

to bring that out in people.



I know this is a ridiculous question

before I ask it,



but you haven't, by any chance,

kept up with your... swordplay?



I, um...



(belches) I pawned that years ago.



You hocked a Hattori Hanzo sword?






It was priceless.



Well, not in El Paso, it ain't.



In El Paso, I got me $    for it.



I'm a bouncer in a titty bar, Bill.






If she wants to fight with me, all she's

got to do is come down to the club



and start some shit,

and we'll be in a fight.



I know we haven't spoken in some time,



and the last time we spoke

wasn't the most pleasant,



but you've got to get over

being mad at me,



and start becoming afraid of (bleep),



because she is coming,

and she's coming to kill you.



And unless you accept my assistance,

I have no doubt she will succeed.



I don't dodge guilt, and I don't Jew

out of paying my comeuppance.



Can't we just... forget the past?



That woman...



...deserves her revenge.






...we deserve to die.



But then again...


            does she.



So I guess...



...we'll just see.



Won't we?



(  distant music)



(  Spanish music)



Late again.



Budd, can't you tell time?



There ain't nobody in here, man.



- (man) Is that Budd?

- Yeah.



(man) Tell him to get

his fucking ass back here!






Budd, Larry'd like a word with ya.



Take a hit.

Be somebody, baby.



You looking for me?



I don't know what car wash

you worked before you came here



that let you stroll in    minutes late,

but it wasn't owned by me



- and I own a fuckin' car wash.

- Do you want me to leave?



No, I don't want you to leave.

I want you to sit and wait.






...there ain't nobody out there, so...



(slurring) "There's nobody

out there, Larry."



What's your point?



- That you're not needed here?

- My point is...



...l'm the bouncer, and there

ain't nobody out there to bounce.



You saying that the reason...



...that you're not doing the job that I'm...



...paying you to do is that

you don't have a job to do?



- No...

- Is that what you're saying?



What are you trying

to convince me of, exactly?



That you're as useless

as an asshole right here?



Well, guess what, buddy?



I think... you just fucking convinced me.



Let's go to the calendar.



It's calendar time.



Calendar time for Buddy.



- OK. You working tomorrow?

- Yeah.



Mm. No, you're n... You don't even know

what fucking day you work.



Here. You're not working tomorrow.



You're working Wednesday.

Here you are. There you go.



- Workin' Thursday?

- Yeah.



I don't think so.




I d... There's your name.



- If you say so.

- There used to be your name. OK?



- Saturday. There used to be your name.

- Oh.



Uh, Monday...



Here. How about that?



Fuckin' with your cash is the only thing

you kids seem to understand. OK?



Now, I want you to go home till I call you.



Till I call you.



Before you leave, talk to Rocket.

She's got a job for you to do.






...the hat.



That fuckin' hat.



That fucking...



How many times have I told you,



don't wear that fucking hat here?

How many?



Customers wear hats.



Well, I'm not the boss of the customers.



I'm the boss of you.

And I'm telling you...



...that I want you to keep

that shit-kicker hat at home.



(lighter clicks)



(lighter clicks again)



Yeah. Budd, honey, uh,

the toilet is at it again.



There's shitty water all over the floor.



OK... Rocket.



- I'll clean it up.

- Mm-hmm.



(  "A Satisfied Mind"by Johnny Cash)



  How many times



  Have you heard someone say,



  "If I had his money,



  I could do things my way"



  But little they know



  That it's so hard to find



  One rich man in ten



  With a satisfied mind



  Once I was wading



  In fortune and fame



  Everything that I dreamed for



  To get a start in life's game



  Then suddenly it happened



  I lost every dime,

but I'm richer...



(dogs barking)



(music stops)



(music continues)



  How many times



  Have you heard someone say...






(music continues)






(music stops)






...that gentled you down some, didn't it?






Ain't nobody a badass with a double

dose of rock salt dug deep in her tits.



Not havin'... tits...





...or as big as yours,



I can't even imagine

how bad that shit must sting.









...I don't want to, neither.



I win.









Ugh! Ugh.









Wrong brother, ya hateful bitch.



- Budd.

- Bingo.



And to what do I owe

this dubious pleasure?



(sniffs) I just caught me the cowgirl

ain't never been caught.



- Did you kill her?

- Well, not yet, I ain't.



I shot her full of rock salt.



She's so gentle right now, I could

perform her coup de grâce with a rock.






Guess what I'm holdin'

in my hand right now?






A brand spankin' new

Hattori Hanzo sword.



And I'm here to tell ya, Elle,



...that's what I call sharp.

- How much?



Oh, that's hard to say,

bein' that it's... priceless and all.



What's the terms?



You get your bony ass down here

first thing in the morning...



...with a million dollars in folding cash...



...and I'll give you the greatest sword

ever made by a man.



Now, how do you like the sound of that?



Sounds like we got a deal.



- One condition.

- What?



She must suffer to her last breath.



(chuckling) Well...



That, Elle darlin'...



...I can pretty much

damn well guarantee.



Then I'll see you

in the mornin', millionaire.



All right.



(  country)



(men chattering)






(owl hooting)






(footsteps approach)



Wakey, wakey.



Eggs and bakey.






(man) I'm done!



Get me outta this hole!



(Budd) Good.






(man) Whew.



Whoa, look at those eyes.



(chuckles) This bitch is furious.



(sniffs) What did I tell ya?



Is she the cutest little

blond pussy you ever saw?



Or... is she the cutest little

blond pussy you ever saw?



I seen better.



You got anything to say?



White women call this

"the silent treatment."



And we let 'em think we don't like it.






You grab the feet, I'll get the head.









Hey. Hey. Hey!



Wiggle worm, you see this?



You see it, don't ya?



That's a can of Mace.



Mm-hmm. No.



You're goin' underneath

the ground tonight.



And... that's all there is to it.



I wanna bury ya.



I was gonna bury ya...



(chuckles)... with this.



But if you're gonna

act like a horse's ass...



...l'm gonna spray this whole goddamn

can right in your eyeballs!



I'll burn 'em right outta your fuckin' head.



Then you're gonna be blind...



...and burnin'...



...and buried alive.



Now, what's it gonna be, sister?



That's a wise decision.



This is for breakin' my brother's heart.



























(rumbling continues)



(panting faster)



(rumbling continues)



(panting continues)















(breathing softly)



(Ioud thud)






(Ioud thud)



(crying/Ioud thud)






(Ioud thud)















(sobbing/distant thud)









(faint rumbling)


















(  flute)



Once upon a time...





...some believe around the year...


            double aught-three,



head priest of the White Lotus Clan,

Pai Mei, was walking down a road...



...contemplating whatever it is



that a man of Pai Mei's

infinite powers would contemplate -



which is another way

of saying, "Who knows?" -



when a Shaolin monk

appeared on the road,



traveling in the opposite direction.



As the monk and the priest

crossed paths...



...Pai Mei...


            a practically unfathomable

display of generosity,



gave the monk the slightest of nods.



The nod...



...was not returned.



(  note)



Now, was it the intention

of the Shaolin monk to insult Pai Mei?



Or did he just fail to see

the generous social gesture?



The motives of the monk

remain unknown.



What is known...



...were the consequences.



(  flute)



The next morning, Pai Mei

appeared at the Shaolin temple...



...and demanded

of the temple's head abbot



that he offer Pai Mei his neck

to repay the insult.



The abbot, at first,

tried to console Pai Mei.



Only to find Pai Mei was...






(  flute)



So began...



...the Massacre of the Shaolin Temple,

and all sixty of the monks inside,



at the fists of the White Lotus.



And... so began the legend...



...of Pai Mei's Five-Point-Palm

Exploding-Heart Technique.



And what, pray tell,

is the Five-Point-Palm



- Exploding-Heart Technique?

- Quite simply,



the deadliest blow in all of martial arts.



He hits you with his fingertips...


            five different pressure

points on your body...



...and then lets you walk away.



But once you've taken five steps...



...your heart explodes inside your body...



...and you fall to the floor, dead.



- Did he teach you that?

- No.



He teaches no one the Five-Point-Palm

Exploding-Heart Technique.





            of the things

I've always liked about you...





            you appear

wise beyond your years.



So, allow me to impart

a word to the wise:






...whatever Pai Mei says, obey.



If you flash him, even for an instant,

a defiant eye, he'll pluck it out.



And if you throw any

American sass his way...



...he'll snap your back and your neck

like they were twigs.



And that will be the story of you.



(  flute)



He'll accept you as his student.



- What happened to you?

- Nothin'.



- Get in a fight?

- Friendly contest.



Why did he accept me?



Because he's a very, very, very old man.



And like all rotten bastards...



...when they become old,

they get lonely.



Which has no effect

on their dispositions,



but it does teach them

the value of company.



Whew. Oh.



(sighs) Just seein' those

steps again makes me ache.



You're gonna have a lot of fun



carrying buckets of water

up and down that fucker.



When will I see you again?



That's the title of my favorite

soul song of the seventies.



- What?

- Nothin'.



When he tells me you're done.



When do you think that might be?



That, my dearest,

depends entirely on you.



Now remember,

no sarcasm, no backtalk.



At least not for the first year or so.



You're gonna have to let him

warm up to you.



He hates Caucasians,

despises Americans,



and has nothing

but contempt for women.



So in your case...

it might take a little while.



- Adiós.

- (engine starts)






Your Mandarin is lousy.



It causes my ears discomfort.



You bray like an ass!



You are not to speak unless spoken to.



Is it too much to hope...

you understand Cantonese?



I speak Japanese very well...



I didn't ask if you speak Japanese...



I asked if you understand Cantonese?



A little.



You are here to learn the mysteries

of Kung Fu, not linguistics.



If you can't understand me...



I will communicate with you

like I would a dog.



When I yell, when I point,

when I beat you with my stick!



Bill is your master, is he not?



Yes, he is.



Your master tells me...

you're not entirely unschooled.



What training do you possess?



I am proficient in Tiger-Crane Style,



and I am more than proficient in the

exquisite art of the Samurai sword.






The exquisite art of the Samurai sword.

Don't make me laugh!



Your so-called exquisite art,

is only fit for...



Japanese fat heads!






Your anger amuses me.

Do you believe you are my match?






Are you aware I kill at will?






Is it your wish to die?









Then you must be stupid...



Then you must be stupid... so stupid.



Rise, and let me look at your

ridiculous face.






So my pathetic friend...

Is there anything that you can do well?



What's the matter?



Cat got your tongue?



- Oh yes, you speak Japanese.



I despise the Goddamn Japs!



Go to that rack.



Remove the sword.






Let's see how good you really are.





            land a single blow,



I'll bow down and call you master.















From here you can get

an excellent view of my foot.









Your swordsmanship...

is amateur at best.









Your so-called kung-fu... is really...

quite pathetic.



I asked you to demonstrate...

what you know... and you did...



Not a goddamn thing!



Let's see your Tiger Crane...

match my Eagle's Claw.


















(grunting continues)












Like all Yankee women...



...all you can do is order in restaurants

and spend a man's money.



Excruciating... isn't it?






If it was my wish...



...I could chop your arm off.



No, please don't!






It's my arm now. I can do what I please.



If you can stop me... I suggest you try.






I can't.



Because you're helpless?






Have you ever felt this before?






Compared to me... you're as helpless

as a worm fighting an eagle?









Is it your wish to possess

this kind of power?






Your training will begin... tomorrow.






Since your arm now belongs to me...



...I want it strong.



Can you do that?



I can, but not that close.



Then you can't do it.



What if your enemy...

is three inches in front of you...



...What do you do then...



...Curl into a ball...



...or do you put your FIST through him?



Now begin.


















It's the wood that should

fear your hand...



- not the other way around.



No wonder you can't do it...

you acquiesce to defeat...



- before you even begin.









(continues grunting)






(continues grunting)












(continues yelling)






(chopsticks fall)



If you want to eat like a dog...



You can live and sleep

outside like a dog.



If you want to live and sleep

like a human...



...pick up those sticks.


















Come on, you bitch.






OK, Pai Mei.



Here I come.






(grunting faster)


















(breathing softly)






May I have a glass of water, please?






- So that's a Texas funeral?

- Yep.



I have to give it to ya, Budd.



That's a pretty fucked up way to die.



What's the name on the grave

she's buried under?









Can I look at the sword?



That's my money right there

in that red bag, isn't it?



It sure is.



Well then, it's your sword now.



(blender whirring)



What's that you said?



So this is a Hattori Hanzo sword?



That's a Hanzo sword, all right.



Bill tells me you once had

one of these of your own.



Yeah, once.



Yeah? How does this one

compare to that?



If you're gonna compare

a Hanzo sword...


            compare it

to every other sword ever made -



wasn't made - by Hattori Hanzo.



(sniffs/clears throat)



Here you go.

Wrap your lips around that.






...which "R" are you filled with?






They say...



...the number one killer...



...of old people...





People got a job to do, they tend to live

a little bit longer so they can do it.



I've always figured that...



...warriors and their enemies...



...share the same relationship.



So now that you're not gonna have

to face your enemy no more



on the battlefield...



...which "R" ya filled with?






...or regret?



- A little bit of both.

- Horseshit.



I'm sure you do feel a little bit of both.



But I know damn well that you feel one...



...more than you feel the other.



And the question was:

Which one is it?






You know,

you gotta hand it to the ol' girl.



I never saw anybody buffalo Bill

the way she buffaloed Bill.



Bill thought she was so damn smart.



And I tried to tell him...



...she was just smart for a blond.



Thanks a bunch.



(sniffs/clears throat)






All right.









(continues screaming)






I'm sorry, Budd.



That was rude of me, wasn't it?



Budd, I'd like to introduce my friend,

the black mamba.



Black mamba, this is Budd.



You know, before I picked

that little fella up,



I looked him up on the Internet.



Fascinating creature, the black mamba.



Listen to this:






"In Africa, the saying goes,



"'ln the bush, an elephant can kill you,

a leopard can kill you,



"'and a black mamba can kill you.

But only with the mamba,



"and this has been true in Africa

since the dawn of time, is death sure.'



Hence its handle, 'Death Incarnate."'

Pretty cool, huh?



"lts neurotoxic venom is one of

nature's most effective poisons,



"acting on the nervous system,

causing paralysis.



"The venom of a black mamba

can kill a human being in four hours



"if, say, bitten on the ankle or the thumb.



"However, a bite to the face or torso



can bring death from paralysis

within    minutes."



Now, you should listen to this,

'cause this concerns you.



"The amount of venom that can be

delivered from a single bite



can be gargantuan."



You know, I've always liked

that word, "gargantuan."



I so rarely have an opportunity

to use it in a sentence.



"If not treated quickly with antivenom,



"ten to    milligrams

can be fatal to human beings.



"However, the black mamba can deliver



as much as     to     milligrams

of venom from a single bite."





            these last agonizing

minutes of life you have left,



let me answer that question

you asked earlier more thoroughly.



Right at this moment...



...the biggest "R" I feel is regret.



Regret that maybe

the greatest warrior I have ever met



met her end at the hands

of a bushwhackin', scrub,



alkie, piece of shit like you.



That woman deserved better.



(moans/stops moaning)



(cell phone rings)






...I have some tragic news.



Your brother's dead.



I am so sorry, baby.



She put a black mamba in his camper.



I got her, sweetie.

She's dead.



Let me put it this way:



You ever start feeling sentimental,

go to Barstow, California.



When you get here, walk into a florist

and buy a bunch of flowers.



Then you take those flowers

to Huntington Cemetery



on Fuller and Guadalupe, look for

the headstone marked "Paula Schultz,"



and lay them on the grave.



'Cause you will be standing at the final

resting place of Beatrix Kiddo.



- Marty Kitrosser?

- Here.



- Melanie Harrhouse?

- Here.



- Beatrix Kiddo?

- Here.



Look... I can be there

in about four hours.



Do you want me to come over?



No, no, no, no.

You need me, baby, I'm there.



OK. I'm leaving now.



You go smoke some pot or somethin',

I'll be there soon.






(grunting continues)



(grunting continues)


















"To my brother, Budd.

The only man I ever loved. Bill."



What's that?



Budd's Hanzo sword.



He said he pawned it.



Guess that makes him

a liar now, don't it?



- Elle?

- Bea.



Somethin' I've always

been curious about.



Just between us girls...



...what did you say to Pai Mei

to make him snatch out your eye?



(screams) Ow!



I called him a miserable old fool.



Ooh. Bad idea.



Know what I did?



I killed that miserable old fool.



(EIle) How do you like the fish head,

you miserable old fool?



I poisoned his fish heads.



Elle, you treacherous dog.



(EIle laughs)



I - give - you - my - word...



(EIle) And I told him,



"To me, the word

of an old fool like you



is worth less than nothing."






That's right.



I killed your master.



And now I'm gonna kill you, too.



With your own sword, no less.



Which, in the very immediate future,

will become my sword.





            don't have a future.









(screaming) Fucking bitch!



(screaming) Fucking bitch!



(screaming) I'll kill you!

You're fuckin' dead!



(screaming) You bitch! You bitch!






I'll fucking kill you, you bitch!






(screaming) Oh, I'll get you!



I'm gonna...



(screaming) Where are you?

Lemme fuckin' at you!



(continues screaming)



Where are you?

I'm coming, you fucking bitch!



(screaming) You're fucking dead!

You're dead!



(continues screaming)



(cries) Oh... shit!






(wind blowing)



(  choral music)



(  male singing in Spanish)



(the bride) Like most men

who never knew their father,



Bill collected father figures.



The first was Esteban Vihaio.



Esteban was a pimp

and a friend of Bill's mother.



He ran a brothel in Acuna, Mexico

for over    years.



His army, the Acuna Boys,



made up of the fatherless offspring

of his whores, ran Acuna.



He ran the Acuna Boys.



Now, at the age of    it would be

this retired gentleman of leisure



who could point me in Bill's direction.



Señor Esteban Vihaio?






May I join you?



Only on the condition

that you call me Esteban.



- May I join you, Esteban?

- Please.









I speak a little Spanish, if you prefer.



No, no, no, no.

I prefer English.



I haven't spoken it in a while,



but I would relish

the opportunity to converse



with such a pretty

companion as yourself.



It's my pleasure to be in the company

of such a fine gentleman as yourself.



I must warn you, young lady...



...I am susceptible to flattery.



How may I be of service to you?



Where's Bill?






You must be Beatrix.



I can see the attraction.



I remember when Bill was only

five years old, I took him to the movies.



It was a movie starring Lana Turner.



The Postman Always Ring Twice,

with John Garfields.



And whenever she would

appear on the screen,



Bill would begin compulsively to

suck his thumb to an obscene amount.



And I knew from this very moment,

this boy was a fool for blonds.






You know...



...being a fool for a woman

such as yourself...


            always the right thing to do.



If we had met when I was

back in business...


            would have been

my number one lady.



- Well, I'm flattered.

- You goddamn well better be.



This... I heard you were driving a truck.



My Pussy Wagon died on me.



The Pussy died. Hmm.



Bill shot you in the head, no?



- Yes.

- Hmm.



I would have been much nicer.



I would have just cut your face.



You must forgive me.



Please... you have a drink with me.



Clara! (smooches)






Dos añejo.









What were we talking about?






- Where's Bill?

- Where's Bill.



Yeah. Hmm.



Bill is at the Villa Quatro,

on the road to Salina.



I will draw you a map.



Bill is like a son to me.



- Do you know why I help you?

- No.



Because he would want me to.



Now, that I don't believe.






How else is he ever

going to see you again?



Freeze, Mommy.



Bang, bang! Oh!



Oh! She got us, B.B.



Mommy got us.

Oh, I'm dying!



(groaning) I'm dying.



Fall down, sweetheart.

Mommy shot us.



But little did Quickdraw Kiddo know

that little B.B. was only playing possum,



due to the fact that

she was impervious to bullets.



I am pervious to bullets, Mommy.



Hey, get back down there.

You're playing possum.



So, as the smirking killer

advanced on what she thought



was a bullet-ridden corpse,

that's when little B.B. fired.



Bang, bang!



You're dead, Mommy.

So die.









Oh! B. B...






I should've known.



You are... the best.



Oh, Mommy.

Don't die.



I was just playing.



I know.



I told her that you were asleep...



...but that one day you'd wake up

and come back to her.



And she asked me, "If Mommy's

been asleep since I was born,



then how will she know what I look like?"



To which I replied, "Because

Mommy's been dreaming of you."



That's what I said.



Did you dream of me?

I dreamed of you.



Every single night, baby.

Every single night.



I waited a long time

for you to wake up, Mommy.



Now, let me look at you.






My, my, my,

what a pretty little girl you are.



You're pretty too, Mommy.



Tell Mommy what you said

when I showed you her picture.






- Come on, shy girl.

- Mnh-mnh.



Come on. You know what you said.



Come on. Tell Mommy.

It'll make her feel good. Come on.



- Mnh-mnh.

- Yeah. Come on.



I said... I said,



"You're the most beautifulest woman

I ever saw in the whole wide world."



That's the truth.

That's what she said.



B.B., don't you think Mommy has the

prettiest hair in the whole wide world?



- Yes, I do.

- Matter of fact, it's better than pretty.



- What's better than pretty?

- Mmm... Gorgeous.



Very good. Gorgeous.

Mommy is gorgeous.



Hmm. You know, sweetie,

Mommy's kinda mad at Daddy.



Why, Daddy?

Were you being a bad daddy?



I'm afraid I was.

I was a real bad daddy.



Our little girl learned about

life and death the other day.



Wanna tell Mommy about

what happened to Emilio?



I killed him.



- Emilio was her goldfish.

- Emilio was my goldfiss.



She came running into my room,

holding the fish in her hand and crying,



"Daddy. Daddy.

Emilio's dead."



And I said, "Really? That's so sad.



How did he die?"



- And what did you say?

- I stepped on him.



Actually, young lady, the words

you so strategically used were,



"I accidentally stepped on him."



To which I queried,



"And just how did your foot accidentally

find its way into Emilio's fishbowl?"



And she said, "No, no, no. Emilio was

on the carpet when I stepped on him."



Mmm. The plot thickens.



"And just how did Emilio

get on the carpet?"



And Mommy, you would've been

so proud of her.



She didn't lie.



She said she took Emilio

out of his bowl...



...and put him on the carpet.



And what was Emilio

doing on the carpet?






- And then you stomped on him.

- Uh-huh.



And when you lifted up your foot...



...what was Emilio doing then?

- Nothing.



He stopped flapping, didn't he?



She told me later...



...that the second she lifted up her foot



and saw Emilio not flapping,

she knew what she had done.



Is that not the perfect

visual image of life and death?



A fish flapping on the carpet,

and a fish not flapping on the carpet.



So powerful, even a four-year-old

with no concept of life or death...



...knew what it meant.



- You loved Emilio, didn't you?

- Uh-huh.



Well... I love Mommy, too.



But I did to Mommy

what you did to Emilio.



- You stomped on Mommy?

- Worse.



I shot Mommy.



Not pretend shooting

like we were just doing.



I shot her for real.



Why? Did you want to see

what would happen?



No, I knew what would happen

to Mommy if I shot her.



What I didn't know was, when I shot

Mommy, what would happen to me.



- What happened?

- I was very sad.



And that's when I learned...



...some things, once you do,

they can never be undone.



- What happened to Mommy?

- Why don't you ask Mommy?



You OK, Mommy?

Did it hurt?



No, sweetie.



Doesn't hurt anymore.



Did it make you sick?



No. It made me sleep.



That's why I haven't been with you, B.B.

I've been asleep.



But you're awake now, Mommy. Right?



I'm wide awake, pretty girl.



B.B., would you like Mommy to watch

a video with you before sleepy time?






Mommy, do you wanna watch

a video with me before sleepy time?



Oh, yeah!

I would love to.



- Which one do you wanna watch?

- Shogun Assassin.



No, B.B.

Shogun Assassin is too long.



- Mnh-mnh.

- No, it's not.



Well, then, I'll leave you ladies to it.



(boy) When I was little,

my father was famous.



He was the greatest samurai

in the empire.



And he was the shogun's decapitator.



He cut off the heads of     lords.



My father would come home to Mother

and when he would see her,



he would forget about the killings.



He wasn't scared of the shogun,

but the shogun was scared of him.



Maybe that was the problem.



One night, the shogun sent...



(  "About Her"by Malcolm McLaren)



  My man got a heart



  Like the rock that's in the sea



  Well, no one told me about her



  The way she lied



  Well, no one told me about her



  How many people cried



  My man got a heart



  Like the rock that's in the sea



  My man got a heart



  Like the rock that's in the sea



  Well, no one told me about her



  The way she lied



  Well, no one told me about her



  How many people cried



  But it's too late to say you're sorry



  How would I know?



  Why should I care?



  Please don't bother trying to find her



  She's not there



I was just admiring your sword.



Quite a piece of work.



Speaking of which, how is Hanzo-san?



He's good.



Has his sushi gotten any better?



You know, I couldn't believe it.

You got him to make you a sword.



It was easy.

I just dropped your name, Bill.



That'd do it.



  Well, no one told me about her



  Well, no one told me about her



I suppose the idea is we cross

Hanzo swords. Am I right?






it just so happens this hacienda

has its own private beach.



And that private beach just so happens

to look particularly beautiful



bathed in moonlight.



And there just so happens to be

a full moon out tonight.



So, swordfighter, if you want

a swordfight, that's where I suggest.



But if you wanna be old school about it...



...and you know

I'm all about old school...



...then we could wait until dawn

and slice each other up at sunrise



like a couple of real-life honest...



Now, if you don't settle down, I'm gonna

have to put one in your kneecap.



And I hear tell that's

a very painful place to get shot in.



(laughing) I'm just fuckin' with you.






...when it comes to you...



...and us...



...I have a few unanswered questions.



So, before this tale of bloody revenge

reaches its climax,



I'm gonna ask you some questions,

and I want you to tell me the truth.



However, therein lies a dilemma.



Because when it comes

to the subject of me,



I believe you are truly and utterly

incapable of telling the truth.



Especially to me.

And least of all, to yourself.



And when it comes to the subject of me,



I am truly and utterly incapable

of believing anything you say.



How do you suppose

we solve this dilemma?






it just so happens,



I have a solution.



- Aah!

- Gotcha!



(grunting) Goddamn!






What the fuck

did you just shoot me with?



My greatest invention.

Or at least my favorite.



Don't touch it, or I'll stick another one

right in your cheek.



What lies within that dart, just begging

to course its way through your veins...


            an incredibly potent

and quite infallible truth serum.



I call it "The Undisputed Truth."



Twice as strong as sodium pentothal,

with no druggie aftereffects.



Except for a slight wave of euphoria.

You feel it?



- Euphoria?

- Yeah.



- No.

- Too bad.



As you know...



...l'm quite keen on comic books.



Especially the ones about superheroes.



I find the whole mythology

surrounding superheroes fascinating.



Take my favorite superhero, Superman.



Not a great comic book.

Not particularly well-drawn.






But the mythology...



The mythology is not only great,

it's unique.



How long does this shit take

to go into effect?



About two minutes. Just long enough

for me to finish my point.



Now, a staple of the superhero

mythology is,



there's the superhero

and there's the alter ego.



Batman is actually Bruce Wayne,

Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker.



When that character wakes up

in the morning, he's Peter Parker.



He has to put on a costume

to become Spider-Man.



And it is in that characteristic

Superman stands alone.



Superman didn't become Superman.



Superman was born Superman.



When Superman wakes up

in the morning, he's Superman.



His alter ego is Clark Kent.



His outfit with the big red "S" -



that's the blanket he was wrapped in

as a baby when the Kents found him.



Those are his clothes.



What Kent wears - the glasses,

the business suit - that's the costume.



That's the costume Superman wears

to blend in with us.



Clark Kent is how Superman views us.



And what are the characteristics

of Clark Kent?



He's weak...



...he's unsure of himself...



...he's a coward.



Clark Kent is Superman's critique

on the whole human race.



Sorta like Beatrix Kiddo

and Mrs. Tommy Plimpton.






The point emerges.



You would've worn the costume

of Arlene Plimpton.



But you were born Beatrix Kiddo.



And every morning when you woke up,

you'd still be Beatrix Kiddo.



Oh, you can... take the needle out.



Are you calling me a superhero?



I'm calling you a killer.



A natural born killer.



You always have been,

and you always will be.



Moving to El Paso...



...working in a used record store...



...goin' to the movies with Tommy...



...clipping coupons.



That's you...



...trying to disguise yourself

as a worker bee.



That's you tryin' to blend in with the hive.



But you're not a worker bee.



You're a renegade killer bee.



And no matter how much beer you drank

or barbecue you ate



or how fat your ass got,



nothing in the world

would ever change that.



First question:



Did you really think your life in El Paso

was gonna work?






But I would've had B.B.!



Don't get me wrong.



I think you would have been

a wonderful mother.



But you are a killer.



All those people you killed to get to me...



...felt damn good, didn't they?






Every single one of them?






That was the warmup round.



Now comes the $      question.



Why did you run away

from me with my baby?



Do you remember the last assignment

you sent me on?



Of course.



Lisa Wong.



The morning I left, I was sick.



On the plane, I threw up.



So I started thinking:



Maybe I was pregnant.



"Easy to use. Remove cap and urinate

on the absorbent end for five seconds.



"Accurate results in only    seconds.



You can read the results as soon as

the line appears in the window."






(clock ticking)






(the bride) What I didn't know...



...was that somewhere on my journey

I had been spotted.



With me in L.A., it didn't take Lisa Wong

long to send an assassin of her own.



- (doorbell)

- (the bride) Hello, can I help you?



(woman) Hello, I'm Karen Kim.

I'm the hospitality manager of the hotel.



I have a welcome gift

from the management.



Oh, that's nice. Um...



Can you just leave it by the door?



- You pretty good with that shotgun?

- Not that I have to be at this range,



but I'm a fuckin' surgeon

with this shotgun.



Well, guess what, bitch?

I'm better than Annie Oakley.



- And I got you right in my sight.

- I could blow your fuckin' head off.



Not before I put one

right between your eyes, so let's talk.






...I just found out...



...right now...



...not a moment before

you blew a hole through the door...



...that I'm pregnant.

- What is this?



On the floor by the door...


            a strip that says I'm pregnant.






Any other time

you'd be     percent right.



This time...


           're     percent wrong.



I'm the deadliest woman in the world.



But right now...



...l'm just scared shitless for my baby.






Just look at the strip.






Stay where you are and don't move.



I don't know what this fuckin' shit means.



The box with the directions -

it's right there.



"Easy to use.



Remove the cap and urinate

on the absorbent end."



Blue means pregnant.



I'll read it myself, thank you.



Oh, OK.



Say I were to believe you.

What then?



Just go home.



I'll do the same.



(door opens)






(the bride) Before that strip turned blue...



...I was a woman, I was your woman.



I was a killer who killed for you.



Before that strip turned blue,

I would've jumped a motorcycle



onto a speeding train.



For you.



But once that strip turned blue...



...I could no longer do

any of those things.



Not anymore.



Because I was gonna be a mother.



Can you understand that?






But why didn't you...



...tell me then, instead of now?



Once you knew, you'd claim her.



And I didn't want that.



Not your decision to make.






But it's the right decision,

and I made it for my daughter.



She deserved to be born

with a clean slate.



But with you...



...she would've been born

into a world she shouldn't have.



I had to choose.



I chose her.



You know, five years ago,



if I had to make a list of impossible

things that could never happen,



you performing a coup de grâce on me

by bustin' a cap in my crown...



...would've been right

at the top of the list.



I'd have been wrong, wouldn't I?



I-I'm sorry.



Was that a question?



Of impossible things

that could never happen -



yes, in this instance,

you would've been wrong.






When you never came back,



I naturally assumed Lisa Wong,

or somebody else, had killed you.



Oh! And for the record...



...letting somebody think somebody

they love is dead when they're not



is quite cruel.



I mourned you for three months.



And in the third month of mourning you...



...I tracked you down.



I wasn't tryin' to track you down.



I was tryin' to track down

the fucking assholes I thought killed you.



So I find you...



...and what do I find?



Not only are you not dead...


           're getting married

to some fucking jerk.



And you're pregnant.



I overreacted.



You overreacted?

Is that your explanation?



I didn't say I was gonna explain myself.



I said I was gonna tell you the truth.



But if that's too cryptic, let's get literal.



I'm a killer.



I'm a murdering bastard.

You know that.



And there are consequences...


            breaking the heart

of a murdering bastard.



You experienced some of them.



Was my reaction really that surprising?



Yes. It was.



Could you do what you did?



Of course you could.



But I never thought you would,

or could, do that to me.



I'm really sorry, Kiddo...



...but you thought wrong.



You and I have unfinished business.



Baby... you ain't kiddin'.









Pai Mei taught you the Five-Point-Palm

Exploding-Heart Technique?



'Course he did.



Why didn't you tell me?



I don't know.



Because I'm...



...a bad person.






You're not a bad person.



You're a terrific person.



You're my favorite person.



But every once in a while...


            can be a real cunt.



How do I look?



You look ready.



Well, well, well.

If it ain't the little flower.



(narrator) Good evening, Mr. and Mrs.

America and all the ships at sea.



Let's go to press. Flash.



Do you have a magpie in your home?



If you do, you are most fortunate.



The magpie is the most

charming bird in all the world.



He is the best friend a farmer ever had.



Treat him gently.

Treat him kindly.



And always remember,

the magpie deserves your respect.






Thank you.



Thank you.

Thank you.



Oh, thank you.



(magpie) Now, I'll tell you what

I'm gonna do.



(man) I ain't got no headache.



(magpie) Oh yes you have, brother.



(  male sings in Spanish)






(  "Goodnight Moon"by Shivaree)



  There's a nail in the door



  And there's glass on the lawn



  Tacks on the floor, and the TVis on



  And I always sleep with my guns



  When you're gone



  There's a blade by the bed



  And a phone in my hand



  A dog on the floor



  And some cash on the nightstand



  When I'm all alone,

the dreaming stops



  And I just can't stand



  What should I do?

I'm just a little baby



  What if the lights go out and maybe



  And then the wind just starts to moan



  Outside the door,

he followed me home



Well, goodnight moon,

I want the sun



  If it's not here soon,

I might be done



  No, it won't be too soon

'til I say goodnight moon



  Well, you're up so high,

how can you save me?



  When the dark comes here tonight



  To take me up to my

front walk and into bed



  Where it kisses my face

and eats my head



  What should I do?

I'm just a little baby



  What if the lights go out and maybe



  And then the wind just starts to moan



  Outside the door,

he followed me home



  Now, goodnight moon,

I want the sun



  If it's not here soon,

I might be done



  No, it won't be too soon

'til I say goodnight moon



  No, it won't be too soon

'til I say goodnight moon



(  woman sings in Japanese)



(  instrumental)



(Quentin Tarantino) And, action!






(Quentin Tarantino) Cut.



Oh, come on.

Let's do it again.

Special help by SergeiK