Kinky Boots Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Kinky Boots script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Chiwetel Ejiofor movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Kinky Boots. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Kinky Boots Script

  
  
 
                   
Come on.

 
                   
Come on, you stupid boy.

 
                   
OK now, Charlie.

 
                   
I'm going to show you the most
beautiful thing in the world.

 
                   
- Do you know what it is?
- A shoe.

 
                   
A lot of people would say
it'd be an oak tree in spring.

 
                   
It's a shoe.

 
                   
Lot of people would say
it'd be a field of flowers.

 
                   
Do you know what I think it is?

  
                   
A shoe.

  
                   
I think it's a shoe.

  
                   
Every machine. You'll learn how
to work every machine, Charlie.

  
                   
And by the time you're old enough,
and married probably,

  
                   
taking over the factory from me,
believe me,

  
                   
first thing you'll notice
about a person is their shoes.

  
                   
Come on.

  
                   
You know, it's funny.
It's always struck me

  
                   
that in terms of love, strength
and attention to detail,

  
                   
marriage is pretty much like...

  
                   
A pair of shoes.

  
                   
And today again, I'm not wrong...

  
                   
They take you to places,
perhaps, you weren't expecting.

  
                   
My son. Off to London.

  
                   
His fiancée been transferred
to an even bigger estate agents.

  
                   
Young Charlie,
what have you decided

  
                   
to try your hand at down there?

  
                   
Marketing.

  
                   
Marketing.

  
                   
To my future daughter-in-law.

  
                   
And to my wonderful son.

  
                   
- Charlie.
- Charlie.

  
                   
Ah, Mr Price.

  
                   
Do let me show you around.

  
                   
This is the new layout designed
with the young couple in mind.

  
                   
As you see,
one good size bedroom,

  
                   
with en-suite shower room.

  
                   
And through here,
a fully-furnished lounge.

  
                   
Oh, and best of all, Mr Price,
best of all...

  
                   
The view.

  
                   
It's not Northampton.

  
                   
It's not Northampton.

  
                   
No.

  
                   
Not Northampton

  
                   
Not Northampton

  
                   
We're not in Northampton anymore

  
                   
- We're going where...
- Hello?

  
                   
... sky is blue

  
                   
Cos the best thing
about London is

  
                   
No more bloody shoe...

  
                   
Yeah, this is his son.

  
                   
Mr Price.

  
                   
He'd have been proud of you
coming back, Mr Price.

  
                   
Charlie.

  
                   
Price factory has to have a Mr Price,
Mr Price.

  
                   
George...

  
                   
Bugger.

  
                   
Dad always used to say that...

  
                   
And in a sense...

  
                   
He ain't pressed the button.

  
                   
- My heart is...
- Press the red button.

  
                   
That's a good start.

  
                   
Right.

  
                   
I'm not my dad. OK.
You shouldn't expect that.

  
                   
But I've spent my life with
each one of you at some point,

  
                   
training on these machines.

  
                   
- I was bloody useless.
- Too right.

  
                   
Thanks, Don.

  
                   
Listen. Dad believed

  
                   
there would always be a place
for craftsmanship.

  
                   
And whether you realise it or not,
that is what you all are.

  
                   
Craftsmen.

  
                   
So let's make shoes.

  
                   
Let's make shoes?

  
                   
Don't worry, love.
Don't get it on your jacket.

  
                   
I'll get some roll.

  
                   
Pat, what order is the company
working on at the moment?

  
                   
It's a big one, love.
Chambers Wholesale. Why?

  
                   
What the hell was he playing at?

  
                   
I mean, why didn't he...

  
                   
Why did he carry on making 'em?

  
                   
This happened before.     .

  
                   
Customer went into receivership

  
                   
and your dad got stuck
with     Oxfords.

  
                   
And?

  
                   
Bill Sampson in London

  
                   
took 'em at cost.

  
                   
Right. Pat, I'm going to London.

  
                   
I just happen to find myself

  
                   
with      pairs of brogues,
and I know, a few years back,

  
                   
your dad took some at cost
off my dad and I thought...

  
                   
That was a few years back, Charlie.
Things have changed a bit.

  
                   
But look, I'll tell you what.

  
                   
I'll take     pairs off your hands.
For old time's sake.

  
                   
Hey, and this hurts.

  
                   
Being a Forest fan giving
charity to a Northampton...

  
                   
I mean, when I say charity
I'm not... you know.

  
                   
Imported from Slovakia.
Wanna know how much?

  
                   
Harry. A Price's shoe
will last a man a lifetime.

  
                   
Poor sod that buys these will be back
in ten months for new ones.

   
                   
I know. And isn't that great?

   
                   
Spare some change, guv?

   
                   
Here. This is a Price's shoe.

   
                   
And it'll last a man a lifetime.

   
                   
You got it in a size ten?

   
                   
- Slow yourself down a bit.
- Wanna come to a party?

   
                   
All right, gorgeous?

   
                   
Come here.

   
                   
Covering something, princess?

   
                   
Where do you think you're going?

   
                   
Don't worry, I'm not gonna harm you.
Just want a chat.

   
                   
All right, lads?

   
                   
I think you should just leave
her alone now, don't you think?

   
                   
- Yeah? Come on then.
- Don't you?

   
                   
Very sweet.
You riding to my rescue.

   
                   
Very Prince Charming.

   
                   
Pass me my boobs, will ya?

   
                   
Here.

   
                   
Didn't look like you
needed much rescuing.

   
                   
Well, a girl has to know
how to look after herself these days.

   
                   
There are some
very funny people out there.

   
                   
How's that wound?
Let's have a look.

   
                   
Don't flatter yourself.

   
                   
Vodka. Helps you forget pain.

   
                   
Well, it does me.

   
                   
God. Clean off, again.
Like most things in life,

   
                   
it cannot stand
the weight of a man.

   
                   
Here we go. Oh. God love us.

   
                   
Hold on.

   
                   
Thank you again, Mr...

   
                   
Sorry to be presumptive.
Are you a Mr?

   
                   
I'm a Charlie. From Northampton.

   
                   
Well, I rather thought you might be.

   
                   
... my unspoiled gender

   
                   
Prim and proper

   
                   
The girl who's never been cased

   
                   
I'm tired of being pure and not chased

   
                   
Like something that
seeks its level

   
                   
I wanna go to the devil

   
                   
I wanna be evil

   
                   
I wanna spit tacks

   
                   
I wanna be evil

   
                   
And cheat at jacks

   
                   
I wanna be wicked

   
                   
I wanna tell lies

   
                   
I wanna be mean
and throw mud pies

   
                   
I want to wake up
in the morning

   
                   
With that dark brown taste

   
                   
I wanna see some dissipation
in my face

   
                   
I wanna be evil

   
                   
I wanna be mad

   
                   
But more than that

   
                   
I wanna be bad

   
                   
I wanna be evil
and trump an ace

   
                   
Just to see my partner's face

   
                   
I wanna be nasty

   
                   
I wanna be cruel

   
                   
I wanna be daring

   
                   
I wanna shoot pool

   
                   
And in the theatre

   
                   
I want to change my seat

   
                   
Just so I can step on
everybody's feet

   
                   
- Oh, no.
- Trish.

   
                   
Thing is...

   
                   
No, love, please. Please.

   
                   
They've just started school.

   
                   
They just started school
this month, Charlie.

   
                   
This is their uniforms, love.
This is their dinners.

   
                   
We lost the contract
with Chambers, Trish.

   
                   
Thing is, we lost the
contract with Chambers...

   
                   
Actually, don't.

   
                   
This is like apologies
for your train running late.

   
                   
- It means nothing...
- It's not like that...

   
                   
...so I'd rather not hear it.

   
                   
I do mean it.

   
                   
Bernie Taylor to the office.

   
                   
Please.

   
                   
This is not what I want, Bernie.

   
                   
I don't want to be sitting here
doing this, but you know...

   
                   
Nine out of ten shoe factories
have shut down...

   
                   
What can I do?

   
                   
I am sorry it's come to this, Anthony.

   
                   
Daphne.

   
                   
Janice.

   
                   
- Derek?
- Eric.

   
                   
Yes, Eric.

   
                   
What can I do?

   
                   
Change the product.

   
                   
- Sorry?
- Like Liptons.

   
                   
Start making equestrian boots.

   
                   
Browns. They're making...
Whatever, climbing boots.

   
                   
All them other sods, they went out
looking for their niche markets.

   
                   
They just didn't sit back
in their offices going, "What can I do?"

   
                   
Sorry.

   
                   
I was just really, really
looking forward to a Chinese tonight.

   
                   
Now I'm not sure if I can afford it.

   
                   
In a sense it was lucky, they hadn't
got round to advertising your job.

   
                   
Yeah, lucky.

   
                   
Listen, Nic.

   
                   
That's the kind of shoe, isn't it?
Don't you think?

   
                   
- What?
- The wedding. At the altar.

   
                   
Is that the kind of thing
you were thinking of?

   
                   
On my foot.

   
                   
Well, it needs to be a Jimmy Choo,
doesn't it? To work.

   
                   
We might have to think
about the wedding.

   
                   
Not the wedding, wedding, but...

   
                   
It doesn't have to be all live band
and shoes at the altar, does it?

   
                   
I mean, at the end of the day
it's about the two of us, isn't it?

   
                   
I've made    people redundant today.

   
                   
Lauren.

   
                   
Lauren, you haven't heard
what I was gonna say.

   
                   
Well, does it involve the words,
"job back"?

   
                   
Potentially.

   
                   
OK, brace yourself.

   
                   
Ladies, gentlemen and those
who are yet to make up your mind.

   
                   
Whatever Lola wants

   
                   
Lola gets

   
                   
And little man

   
                   
Little Lola wants you

   
                   
Make up your mind to have

   
                   
No regrets

   
                   
Recline yourself

   
                   
Resign yourself

   
                   
You're through

   
                   
I always gain

   
                   
What I aim for

   
                   
And your heart and soul

   
                   
Is what I came for

   
                   
Whatever Lola wants

   
                   
Lola gets

   
                   
Take off your coat

   
                   
Don't you know you can't win

   
                   
You're no exception to the rule

   
                   
I'm irresistible you fool

   
                   
Give in

   
                   
Lola.

   
                   
All me, sweetheart.
I design everything in that club.

   
                   
It's my costumes, my lighting,
my dancers, my show, love.

   
                   
I mean, it's me.

   
                   
Bit of a dark horse, your boyfriend.

   
                   
He's my boss.

   
                   
Well, he was my boss.
I got laid off.

   
                   
But now he seems to think
I'm his business analyst or...

   
                   
Look, you'll have to excuse Charlie.

   
                   
We don't have many transvestites
in Northampton.

   
                   
I'm not merely a transvestite,
sweetheart.

   
                   
I'm also a drag queen.
It's a simple equation.

   
                   
A drag queen puts on a frock,
looks like Kylie.

   
                   
A transvestite puts on a frock,
looks like...

   
                   
Boris Yeltsin in lipstick.
There, I said it.

   
                   
Ta. Whatever. Don't kid yourself.

   
                   
You're never more than ten feet away
from a transvestite.

   
                   
You made her redundant?
You miserable sod.

   
                   
Things aren't very good
in men's shoes.

   
                   
Well, I'm not, certainly.

   
                   
Yes. Precisely.

   
                   
How much do you weigh?

   
                   
The right amount.
How much do you drink?

   
                   
I mean... They're women's boots,
are they, that you buy?

   
                   
You have to buy women's boots
because you...

   
                   
You see, the distribution of pressure
on a conventional female heel

   
                   
cannot be expected
to support a man's weight.

   
                   
And if trans... you know, whatevers,

   
                   
drag queens are everywhere,
like you said, then, not in a...

   
                   
Living Dead kind of way but...

   
                   
Then, do you think there is
a niche market for proper, good,

   
                   
decent, built-to-last boots

   
                   
for women... that are men?

   
                   
All this way for my advice.
I feel like Oprah.

   
                   
I'd like to measure you for it,
go home, make a pair.

   
                   
Who gets to keep the boots?

   
                   
A little warning.
The answer is, "You do, Lola."

   
                   
You do, Lola.

   
                   
Where do I come to pick it up?
What, Prices of Northampton, is it?

   
                   
Yeah, but I'll come to you.

   
                   
Oh, no. As they say, a good
pair of boots is worth walking for.

   
                   
No, you see,
I come here all the time, and so...

   
                   
I'll come to you.

   
                   
Right.

   
                   
Look behind you.

   
                   
What? What is it?

   
                   
It's your niche market, Charlie.

   
                   
Big niche.

   
                   
Ladies, gentlemen

   
                   
and those of you
who are yet to make up your mind,

   
                   
our very own Lola.

   
                   
He walked into my life

   
                   
And now he's taking over

   
                   
And it's beautiful

   
                   
Yes it's beautiful

   
                   
I've gone with better looking guys

   
                   
He's gone with prettier looking girls

   
                   
But now we're beautiful

   
                   
I think we're beautiful

   
                   
I don't need love affairs anymore

   
                   
I don't need love affairs anymore

   
                   
Can't you see

   
                   
It's the chemistry

   
                   
You really must agree
together we are beautiful

   
                   
We are beautiful...

   
                   
Well?

   
                   
Cool.

   
                   
I was thinking, we should...

   
                   
If you haven't got anything else on

   
                   
then maybe you could come back to...

   
                   
To your house?

   
                   
The factory.

   
                   
I'm gonna need someone on
the web to research markets and...

   
                   
If Pat got on those websites
she'd have a heart attack.

   
                   
Yeah.

   
                   
Besides, you started it,
being in that strop.

   
                   
Oh, well.
I mean, I just had the strop, Charlie.

   
                   
You saw the idea.

   
                   
And that is why some of us end up
with our names above the factories

   
                   
and others just on
the clocking-in cards.

   
                   
Right.

   
                   
Well, as someone
with their name on a factory,

   
                   
can I invite you to have your name
on one of my clocking-in cards?

   
                   
They say, calm down,
they say whatever life throws at you,

   
                   
whatever emotions you feel,

   
                   
somebody somewhere
has written a song about it.

   
                   
Now, I hope that'll be true.

   
                   
Until somebody writes a song called

   
                   
No One Stays Young Forever And
One Day I Hope You Get Dumped

   
                   
For A Younger Model,
You Whiny Little Welsh Bastard,

   
                   
I'm just gonna have
to sing your memory.

   
                   
Show us your tits.

   
                   
Certainly. Ladies and Gentleman,
there they are.

   
                   
Give 'em a round of applause.

   
                   
Are they as wrinkly
as your arms, love?

   
                   
- Is there a man in there?
- Good one.

   
                   
I have to tell you, sweetheart,
my breasts are as smooth and beautiful

   
                   
as the day that I bought them.

   
                   
Bastard.

   
                   
Hey.

   
                   
Forget it, Don. Out of your league.

   
                   
Nah. You seem to forget,

   
                   
women get turned on
by the sight of the working man.

   
                   
Morning, Charlie.

   
                   
Lola.

   
                   
Come in.

   
                   
Sorry it's a bit messy. We...

   
                   
I thought we agreed
that I'd come to London.

   
                   
I warn you, Charlie from Northampton,

   
                   
I have a terrible habit of doing
the opposite of what people want.

   
                   
Some might say
that attempts of certain people

   
                   
to make a man out of me as a child
is the reason that I now wear a frock.

   
                   
If I get the feeling somebody
didn't want me to come to Northampton...

   
                   
- No.
- Also, I can tell

   
                   
from years of experience when I'm
being smuggled in through a rear door.

   
                   
- That's the rough-stuff room.
- Is it?

   
                   
It's where we dump
all the offcuts and misshapes.

   
                   
There you go.
I wondered why I was drawn to it.

   
                   
- Pardon?
- Nothing.

   
                   
I'll raise.

   
                   
That's George.

   
                   
Listen, Mel, all I say is,
when it comes to attracting women

   
                   
some men don't have to speak.

   
                   
This is cosy.

   
                   
All right.

   
                   
Here we are.

   
                   
Well?

   
                   
What do you think?

   
                   
Burgundy.

   
                   
Please, God, tell me
I've not inspired something burgundy.

   
                   
Red.

   
                   
Red.

   
                   
Red.

   
                   
Red. Charlie boy.

   
                   
Rule one. Red...

   
                   
... is the colour of sex.

   
                   
Burgundy is the colour
of hot water bottles.

   
                   
Red is the colour
of sex and fear and danger

   
                   
and signs that say, "Do Not Enter."

   
                   
All of my favourite things in life.

   
                   
- Who's that?
- He's got your new girlfriend in there.

   
                   
- But they're comfy.
- Comfy?

   
                   
Sex shouldn't be comfy.

   
                   
Thank God.
I thought it was just me.

   
                   
I don't know what you're used to makin',
but now you're making sex.

   
                   
Two-and-a-half feet
of irresistible tubular sex.

   
                   
I mean, that heel. For God's sake.

   
                   
It won't break.
That's what you wanted.

   
                   
Not if it means looking like
a Ukrainian peasant.

   
                   
It's better than flouncing around
like a...

   
                   
You wanna show your niche market
a little more respect, Charlie.

   
                   
- Let's ask your girls.
- No.

   
                   
Girls. Would you wear
something like this to go out?

   
                   
No.

   
                   
You'd look all right in 'em, sweetheart.

   
                   
You've pulled.

   
                   
Oh, yeah.

   
                   
Ladies.

   
                   
Well, I'm very flattered.

   
                   
But frankly,
if you can't get women to wear 'em,

   
                   
you'll never get blokes like me
to wear 'em.

   
                   
Do we still have a workforce?

   
                   
Don'll come around.

   
                   
Once he's stopped...

   
                   
...walking up and down, swearing.

   
                   
- Well, that's his problem.
- No, it's our problem, Lola.

   
                   
This is Northampton.
You have no idea what it's like, OK?

   
                   
- It's not Soho.
- Amen.

   
                   
Look to the heel, young man.

   
                   
The sex is in the heel.

   
                   
What's that supposed to mean?

   
                   
Sex is in the heel.

   
                   
Stilettos require constant balance
from the upper leg

   
                   
causing the muscles
of the backside to tense

   
                   
and appear pert and ready for mating.

   
                   
It's physically impossible.
I mean, am I missing something?

   
                   
To make a stiletto, something that thin,
bear the weight of a man is just...

   
                   
Steel shank.

   
                   
What?

   
                   
A steel shank, cut thinly,

   
                   
then moulded in a continuous section,

   
                   
from toe to heel without pinning.

   
                   
Not even Don would crush that.

   
                   
Lola.

   
                   
Lola, we might be able to do it.

   
                   
Steel shanks without underpinning.

   
                   
We might be able
to make those boots.

   
                   
If you could just...
If you're willing to...

   
                   
I think Don would have
something to say about that.

   
                   
I gave up the provinces years ago,
and I've just been reminded why.

   
                   
Lola doesn't do North.

   
                   
- Northampton's the Midlands.
- No, Charlie.

   
                   
Tottenham Court Road is the Midlands.

   
                   
If you'll excuse me,
I have a show tonight.

   
                   
Look, I'm stood here, trying
to save a factory of four generations.

   
                   
Of my father,
and his father's father...

   
                   
- Tell me when it applies to me.
- And how it applies to you.

   
                   
I'm about to take
an almighty fucking gamble.

   
                   
And in one afternoon, in one drawing,

   
                   
you've said more about
these boots than...

   
                   
I mean, I just...

   
                   
Five weeks, Lola. That's it. I mean,
if I don't have a new collection ready

   
                   
for the Milan shoe fair in five weeks,
I've blown it. I'll have to sell up.

   
                   
All right, I'll tell you what.
Don't hang around.

   
                   
It's never gonna apply to you.

   
                   
What you don't realise, Lola,
is this is not my world either.

   
                   
Where you going, darling?

   
                   
By the sound of it...

   
                   
Milan.

   
                   
I see this as a very positive step
for a company,

   
                   
who spent the last century
making a range of shoes for men,

   
                   
to start the next century
making shoes for a range of men.

   
                   
Any questions?

   
                   
Sorry, love. I thought you were
going in to work at nine.

   
                   
No, I did, Mrs Cobb, I was.

   
                   
- I am.
- Sorry.

   
                   
Don.

   
                   
Have you got
any toilets down here?

   
                   
I'm afraid we've only got
men's and women's.

   
                   
Charlie.
She's locked herself in the loo.

   
                   
- What?
- Come on.

   
                   
Right. Go in there. Tell her...

   
                   
- No, the gent's loo.
- Right.

   
                   
What's up, Mel?

   
                   
Lola, it's Charlie. Are you OK?

   
                   
Are you ill?

   
                   
Yeah, I'm sick.

   
                   
- Ask your boys.
- Oh, God. Is this Don?

   
                   
Has he nicked your dress?

   
                   
I came like this.

   
                   
God. Put on a frock,

   
                   
and I can sing Stand By Your Man
in front of     strangers.

   
                   
Put on a pair of jeans, and I can't even
sodding well say hello.

   
                   
I have to say,
I was going to suggest dressing down.

   
                   
Well, thank you for your concern.

   
                   
Come on, tell me.

   
                   
- Boxer.
- Get out of here.

   
                   
I'm serious.
He had me doing training.

   
                   
Weights. I could bench-press    kilos.

   
                   
I owe all my spectacular
muscle definition to my father.

   
                   
What, he never...
The whole wearing frocks thing...

   
                   
Well, he wasn't stupid.

   
                   
He knew there'd be few cross-dressing
heavyweight champions of the world.

   
                   
Yeah.

   
                   
No, he disowned me.

   
                   
Wouldn't see me.

   
                   
Even when he got lung cancer,
he wouldn't.

   
                   
So, it's ironic really.

   
                   
Fags got him in the end.

   
                   
I mean, that's what it was all about.

   
                   
Fitting in.

   
                   
Melding in. Not standing out.

   
                   
As far as he was concerned, if you're
big, black and a boxer you are sorted.

   
                   
If you're big and you're black
and you're in a...

   
                   
you know... strapless cocktail dress,
that's not so good.

   
                   
That's what my dad wanted, an' all.

   
                   
A strapless cocktail dress?

   
                   
No. For me to fit in.
To this place.

   
                   
You know, it should be me
that's hiding in here, not you.

   
                   
I'm the one who doesn't know
what he's doing.

   
                   
God, it'd kill him
to hear me say that, too.

   
                   
Although he probably knew,
and that's probably what did.

   
                   
Well.

   
                   
Perhaps we just have to pretend
we do know what we're doing.

   
                   
Charlie from Northampton,
Simon from Clacton.

   
                   
Come on, let's make boots.

   
                   
Cover me, girls. I'm going in.

   
                   
For...

   
                   
While tearing off

   
                   
A game of golf

   
                   
I might make a play
for the caddie

   
                   
But when I do

   
                   
I don't follow through

   
                   
Cos my heart belongs to Daddy

   
                   
If I invite

   
                   
A boy some night

   
                   
To dine on my fine finnan haddie

   
                   
Though I just adore

   
                   
His asking for more

   
                   
But my heart belongs to Daddy

   
                   
That's where you applaud, Charlie.

   
                   
Don't you have a show tonight?

   
                   
Sore throat.

   
                   
But my heart...

   
                   
You know you don't have to work
in the rough-stuff room.

   
                   
But I feel at home here.

   
                   
They're my friends.

   
                   
Besides, one never knows what joy
one might find amongst the unwanted.

   
                   
And abandoned.

   
                   
Charlie boy.

   
                   
Morning, stranger.

   
                   
Nic, look, about last night.

   
                   
Things got a little bit crazy
at work and...

   
                   
It won't always be like that.
I promise.

   
                   
- No, really, it won't be.
- OK.

   
                   
See, I think I've found
a solution for the factory.

   
                   
Well, that makes two of us.
Come on.

   
                   
One second, Mrs Cobb.

   
                   
God.

   
                   
Come in.

   
                   
- There we go.
- Thank you.

   
                   
And the room's all right
for you then, love, is it?

   
                   
Absolutely lovely, Mrs Cobb, yes.
Lots of...

   
                   
Lots of trinkets.

   
                   
Now, the little pottery shoes,
they're good luck, you see?

   
                   
You know, like Whitby
has lucky glass ducks,

   
                   
Northampton has lucky pottery shoes.

   
                   
Can I just ask, are you a man?

   
                   
I am, love, yes.

   
                   
That's fine. Just so's I know
how to leave the toilet seat.

   
                   
I'll get some biscuits.

   
                   
Mr Price.

   
                   
Charlie, this is Richard Bailey

   
                   
I was sorry to hear about your dad.

   
                   
Shall we?

   
                   
The beauty is the building.

   
                   
For us developers,
it's more a case of what we don't do.

   
                   
- Isn't it?
- And if you look in here,

   
                   
you will see the bedroom.

   
                   
So, what do you think?

   
                   
We... I mean, one day, Nic,

   
                   
if this is what you want, but isn't it
slightly out of our price range?

   
                   
Not all buildings deserve
a second life, Mr Price,

   
                   
but factories like this,
like yours, they're special.

   
                   
Sorry?

   
                   
Are you under the illusion
that Prices is for sale?

   
                   
I know you're trying to help
but if you hang in there a bit,

   
                   
I make you this promise.

   
                   
A promise like the Jimmy Choo shoes?

   
                   
Hang on. You're talking about
the history of my family.

   
                   
But isn't this the future of it
right here?

   
                   
I don't know, Nicola. Is it?

   
                   
I mean, if I can't get you
to summon up some faith...

   
                   
OK, give me it, Charlie. Come on.
What have I got to have faith in?

   
                   
Now, I've suggested selling the factory

   
                   
to a brilliant developer
who's interested.

   
                   
And who's done all that.
You know?

   
                   
Made all that happen.
What's your plan?

   
                   
Charlie boy.

   
                   
I've found Soho.

   
                   
A little corner of Soho in Northampton,
that brasserie.

   
                   
We're not talking Hoxton,
but never mind.

   
                   
Sorry, I'm Lola. I'm the one designing
his range of transvestite boots.

   
                   
There's a slight chill in the air.

   
                   
Isn't there?

   
                   
That is the...

   
                   
- Plan.
- Yeah.

   
                   
Listen, Nic,
I have not gone into this lightly.

   
                   
And there is a market...

   
                   
Can I just say
before you make a fool of yourself

   
                   
trying to save the factory because,
"It's the history of my family",

   
                   
the reason Richard came to see me,
OK, not you,

   
                   
was because your dad approached him
about selling.

   
                   
You see, you owe your father nothing,
Charlie Price.

   
                   
You are free.

   
                   
To walk.

   
                   
Right. That's it.

   
                   
We've terminated production
on all Derbys, brogues and Oxfords.

   
                   
From now on, the factory
is     percent on the new range.

   
                   
Or we will not hit Milan.

   
                   
So, we need at least
fifteen new designs from Lola.

   
                   
And at least six samples of each.

   
                   
And remember.

   
                   
You are not making footwear.

   
                   
You are not making boots.

   
                   
You are making two-and-a-half feet
of irresistible, tubular sex.

   
                   
None of the major firms
just take a stand.

   
                   
All the big boys hire the main runway,
so we will need that.

   
                   
I mean, we need Milan to go like, pow.

   
                   
Like the two of did
that night at The Angel, yeah?

   
                   
I mean we need to take
The Angel Club to Milan.

   
                   
We will take
The Angel Club to Milan.

   
                   
Well, you wouldn't put a frock on.

   
                   
If you don't want to get off
with blokes, why put a frock on?

   
                   
Thing is, Mike, ask any woman
what she likes most in a man.

   
                   
Compassion, tenderness, sensitivity.
Traditionally the female virtues.

   
                   
Perhaps what women secretly desire
is a man who is fundamentally a woman.

   
                   
- He's coming.
- Right.

   
                   
Hello, Don. Tell me,
what do you think I could do

   
                   
that would make me more of a man?

   
                   
Look, a piece of paper down here.

   
                   
Why not write down what you think
would make me more of a man

   
                   
and I'll write down what I think
would make you more of a man?

   
                   
If I do what's on yours,
you do what's on mine, right?

   
                   
Piss off.

   
                   
Fine.

   
                   
So, is our Don a man, do you think?

   
                   
Well, he dresses like one.

   
                   
- Good answer.
- I was pleased with it.

   
                   
Great, love. Go home.

   
                   
Come on, Don. Be a man.

   
                   
- You don't have to do this.
- I do. You know why?

   
                   
Cos what Don's written on my paper
is a bloody walk in the park

   
                   
compared to what I've written.

   
                   
We've    hours.
I could do without industrial unrest.

   
                   
Calm down, it's not boxing.

   
                   
Sorry.

   
                   
Play.

   
                   
So, the...

   
                   
Yeah, well...

   
                   
Why'd you stop?

   
                   
I wouldn't want you
to walk into the factory

   
                   
and feel that people
didn't respect you, Don.

   
                   
I wouldn't want anyone else
to know what that feels like.

   
                   
Change your mind about someone.

   
                   
Nice one, champ.
Get the beers in?

   
                   
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   
                   
Oh, Christ.

   
                   
How much does that buy us?

   
                   
The main runway,
from between  .   to  .  .

   
                   
After Closerie and before Tricker's.

   
                   
OK. Hi. Listen, I'm sorry.
We can't afford it.

   
                   
Just...

   
                   
- How much for the dancers?
- Well all this is Lola's estimate

   
                   
for the Blue Angel boys and expenses.

   
                   
Could you get it for under      ?

   
                   
- Well, why   ?
- Could you?

   
                   
- Why   ?
- Because that is what the bank

   
                   
will give me against my house.

   
                   
Hello?

   
                   
What?

   
                   
- Take it.
- Pronto.

   
                   
At least one Mr Price didn't sit around
saying, "What can I do?"

   
                   
Take it.

   
                   
Come on.
Tea break finished five minutes ago.

   
                   
Come on, you know where that goes.

   
                   
How are you getting on, George?

   
                   
Why, it's surprisingly easy
if I just imagine Pat wearing 'em.

   
                   
Is it?

   
                   
George. There's an indentation
in the leather. Bin it. Do it again.

   
                   
I don't care, redo it.

   
                   
- What if they're not assembled?
- They will be.

   
                   
It's four o'clock.

   
                   
They'll have to work over.
This is bloody Milan.

   
                   
You don't get marks for effort.

   
                   
Caffeine. Give us a hand, would you?

   
                   
I needed a break
from Mr Shouty back there.

   
                   
He's just tense, all right?

   
                   
What?

   
                   
Are you aware that you do that?

   
                   
That you instinctively defend him?

   
                   
Look at those puppies.

   
                   
You know,
Charlie's dad used to have this theory

   
                   
that you could tell everything
about a person from their shoes.

   
                   
- Right. Come on, then.
- Oh, no.

   
                   
Cheap but happy.

   
                   
Very eager to please.

   
                   
All right, all right.
Those, those, look.

   
                   
Shiny but dull.

   
                   
Oh, my God.

   
                   
- Hello, Lauren.
- Hello, Nicola.

   
                   
I love those shoes.

   
                   
- Charlie's treat?
- Yeah, once upon a time.

   
                   
What?

   
                   
A girl can live with so many
once-upon-a-times

   
                   
before she finally
has to buy them herself.

   
                   
It's not like that with the factory,
is it?

   
                   
- Sorry?
- Well, Charlie.

   
                   
He said he was gonna save it.
Most guys would have gone,

   
                   
"Hey, what can I do?"

   
                   
Fallen at the first hurdle,
let alone remortgage their house.

   
                   
You should see him in that factory.

   
                   
It's like it's made him
twice as determined.

   
                   
I'm sorry. Remortgaged the... what?

   
                   
How are we?

   
                   
No.

   
                   
For God's sake, Melanie.
This is Milan.

   
                   
These seams aren't straight.
You're rushing it.

   
                   
Pardon?

   
                   
You're gonna have to unpick
all this and start again.

   
                   
Thought that might...
This is Saturday.

   
                   
- You've got enough completed.
- No, I haven't.

   
                   
Some of us have got
a life outside this factory.

   
                   
You're gonna have
a bloody lot more of it in a bit.

   
                   
Mel, you don't understand.
This is Milan.

   
                   
It's Mil...
How do you know what Milan is?

   
                   
You don't know. You're guessing.

   
                   
Perhaps you'd have it finished by now

   
                   
if you hadn't made us
undo every single bloody stitch.

   
                   
But, Mel, they weren't good enough.

   
                   
- They were good enough for your dad.
- But I'm not my dad.

   
                   
Hey. I'll tell you what, Charlie Price.

   
                   
Never a bloody truer word.

   
                   
Mel. We have to leave
at six in the morning. Please.

   
                   
A word, Charlie.

   
                   
I'm actually in a bit of a crisis here.

   
                   
I think so.

   
                   
Is it not bad enough
you're making this kind of crap

   
                   
thinking you'll save the factory?

   
                   
But the fact
you remortgaged the house...

   
                   
- What?
- Charlie, Lauren didn't realise.

   
                   
Our house. No one will ever say
I didn't stand by my man, Charlie.

   
                   
I've done it. I'll stand by you now.
Just... a reason.

   
                   
- Nicola.
- Give me a reason.

   
                   
- Down there.
- Looking at you, Charlie Price.

   
                   
Give me a reason. Standing here.

   
                   
Making porn-wear for hermaphrodites.

   
                   
Hermaphrodites have both sets
of reproductive organs.

   
                   
Get out.

   
                   
Where was it for London?
All this money?

   
                   
Don't. Flat the size of a postage stamp,
because we have to be careful, Nic,

   
                   
- but hey bloody presto...
- London was for you.

   
                   
London was for us.

   
                   
You wouldn't spend
another five grand on us,

   
                   
but you'll bloody remortgage the house
to keep people we don't know in a job.

   
                   
I do know them.
It's you that doesn't know them.

   
                   
Because you never come in here.

   
                   
I've already had to fire    of them and
they were the    worst times of my life.

   
                   
- So sell it.
- Nicola.

   
                   
I don't...

   
                   
Do they know
your dad was gonna sell up?

   
                   
You know? Even your dad.
Have you told them that?

   
                   
I don't care what he was gonna do.

   
                   
I don't care
that he was gonna sell the place.

   
                   
OK. I, here, me, now. Charlie Price,

   
                   
doesn't actually enjoy
making people redundant.

   
                   
And if you can't hear a reason yet,
then maybe you won't ever get it.

   
                   
Maybe you won't ever get me.

   
                   
Maybe Nicola Marsden
will never ever quite get Charlie Price.

   
                   
Maybe I won't.

   
                   
Oh, sod it.

   
                   
It's probably my fault. Putting Dad up,
making some hero out of him.

   
                   
You shouldn't do that.

   
                   
I suppose I just didn't wanna be
the last photo in the line, you know?

   
                   
The Price who left nothing.

   
                   
Maybe you shouldn't
judge it in bricks, Charlie.

   
                   
Maybe you judge
what you leave behind

   
                   
by what you inspire in other people.

   
                   
Charlie?

   
                   
'Scuse me. 'Scuse me please.

   
                   
Coming through.

   
                   
Coffee? Cup of tea?

   
                   
Charlie.

   
                   
Did you get them to do this?

   
                   
Rather rose to the challenge
of changing his mind about someone.

   
                   
You?

   
                   
No, Charlie. You.

   
                   
Here we go.

   
                   
My God.

   
                   
Hey, everyone.
The man from Milan, he say yes.

   
                   
Cheers.

   
                   
- Come on, Lauren.
- No.

   
                   
He's had quite an impact
on us girls, hasn't he?

   
                   
Charlie Price.

   
                   
I saw a documentary once.

   
                   
Potholers. They'd have a celebration
the night before they went down

   
                   
in case they never came out.

   
                   
Of course, now Northampton
is the perfect venue.

   
                   
- I...
- A little warning.

   
                   
The answer is, "I'd love to, Lola."

   
                   
Stop it.

   
                   
- Table for one?
- For two.

   
                   
- Two. Right here.
- I'll just use your toilet.

   
                   
Toilets, yes,
just down the stairs on the left.

   
                   
Richard.

   
                   
Oh, Christ.

   
                   
It's Charlie Price.

   
                   
Oh, no. Absolutely. From Prices, yeah.

   
                   
Didn't expect to see you at La Conceria.

   
                   
Not one of your normal haunts this,
is it?

   
                   
We're having a meeting.
It's about business.

   
                   
Business? God.
Never lets up, does it? Same with me.

   
                   
They're running away.

   
                   
Charlie boy.

   
                   
Sorry I'm late.
You know how it is.

   
                   
I'm sitting with all my dresses
on my bed, thinking,

   
                   
"Is it hot in Milan? Is it cool?
Does it get cold at night?"

   
                   
Thank you.

   
                   
You couldn't get me a Bloody Mary,
could you?

   
                   
Bloody Mary for the lady.

   
                   
The whole potholing thing,
I didn't mean it.

   
                   
I don't think it will go tits up.
I mean, the show. The routine.

   
                   
Wait till you see what
I have planned for the catwalk.

   
                   
- If we market it...
- Lola.

   
                   
It's not just us who'll go for 'em.
There's a whole club scene...

   
                   
- Stop.
- What?

   
                   
People are staring.
Come on, what do you want?

   
                   
I don't think anybody's staring.

   
                   
You are a man in a frock in Northampton.
They're staring.

   
                   
Even if they're not looking,
they're staring.

   
                   
I'm a Northampton shoe designer,
Charlie.

   
                   
Yeah, You're that as well.
You're also a man in a dress.

   
                   
You make it sound as if I put this on

   
                   
because of the lack
of a pair of trousers.

   
                   
Is there a part of you
that actually believes that, Charlie?

   
                   
I don't know why you wear dresses
and I don't think you do either.

   
                   
I didn't realise
I was causing you trouble.

   
                   
Forget it. All right.
You are a very good designer.

   
                   
You'd like me to come and design
then disappear when I'm me.

   
                   
You is the designer. This is not you.
This is you in a dress, looking daft.

   
                   
You don't have to.
I don't know what you think.

   
                   
If this is about dodging
what sex you get off on...

   
                   
If you think you are
somehow being mystical,

   
                   
being the best of either sex,
I have to tell you, Simon...

   
                   
Simon.

   
                   
Stood there in a frock right now
you look like the worst bits of both.

   
                   
Stop hiding. Be brave.
Decide one way or the other.

   
                   
For my sake, tomorrow, please,

   
                   
turn up looking like
the picture on your passport.

   
                   
I can't change what I want, Charlie.

   
                   
I cannot change what I want.

   
                   
I can't do that.

   
                   
George.

   
                   
Hey. No Lola.

   
                   
- George.
- Mr Price.

   
                   
Are we all set?

   
                   
Did she say she was gonna be late?

   
                   
No, actually she said
she was gonna fly out with the girls.

   
                   
- What, from London?
- Lola.

   
                   
Funny, isn't it?
They look quite dead like this.

   
                   
Don't worry, George.
It'll be a different story tomorrow.

   
                   
Look. That's us.
The Milan main catwalk.

   
                   
The Angel girls
wearing our boys, eh, Charlie?

   
                   
You know, as Lola would say, there's
a slight chill in the air, Charlie.

   
                   
- And I'm getting worried...
- I had an argument with her.

   
                   
- What?
- With Lola.

   
                   
Last night in the restaurant. See...

   
                   
She turned up in a dress and I just...

   
                   
She didn't go to London, did she?

   
                   
She didn't get on a plane at all.

   
                   
Lauren. There was a bloke
that wanted to buy the factory.

   
                   
Richard Bailey. He was with Nicola
at the restaurant and I just...

   
                   
All that does not apply to me.

   
                   
What applies is that there is
nobody here to wear our boots

   
                   
that we have worked our arses off
to get here, Charlie.

   
                   
OK. I... Yes, I am sorry,

   
                   
but it's just I felt
somehow useless as a man.

   
                   
Sitting there in the restaurant,
I felt somehow useless as a man.

   
                   
So here we are again.

   
                   
Charlie Price, standing in front of me,

   
                   
saying, "It's not my fault.
What can I do?"

   
                   
- Hello, this is Lola.
- Lola.

   
                   
I'm not here now. Well, I am
here, but you know what to do.

   
                   
Lola, when you pick this up,
this is a Charlie from Northampton.

   
                   
OK, we have the exhibitors, please?
For Prices?

   
                   
That's me.

   
                   
And the dressers?

   
                   
That's me.

   
                   
The models?

   
                   
That's you as well, isn't it?

   
                   
George. OK, he's all set.
He looks fantastic.

   
                   
- ... Prices.
- Go.

   
                   
Ladies and Gentlemen, please take
your seats for the Prices collection.

   
                   
Does he look sexy?

   
                   
He does to me, George.

   
                   
Ladies and Gentlemen, please take
your seats for the Prices collection.

   
                   
OK? OK.

   
                   
This is it, it's you, Mr Price.

   
                   
Shit.

   
                   
You keep lying

   
                   
When you oughta be truthin'

   
                   
And you keep losin'
when you oughta not bet

   
                   
You keep samin'
when you oughta be changin'

   
                   
Now what's right is right

   
                   
But you ain't been right yet

   
                   
These boots are made for walking

   
                   
And that's just what they'll do

   
                   
One of these days these boots
are gonna walk all over you

   
                   
I once met a man
with a sense of adventure

   
                   
He was dressed to thrill

   
                   
Wherever he went

   
                   
He said,
"Let's make love on a mountain top"

   
                   
"Under the stars, on a big hard rock"

   
                   
I said, "In these shoes?"

   
                   
"I don't think so"

   
                   
Here I am looking for crime

   
                   
I'm looking for some action

   
                   
What I have a million times

   
                   
Will give you satisfaction

   
                   
So don't you mess around with me

   
                   
You won't know what to do

   
                   
Cos I'll put on my cha cha heels

   
                   
And walk all over you

   
                   
Gimme gimme cha cha heels

   
                   
All I want is cha cha heels

   
                   
Gimme gimme cha cha heels

   
                   
If I don't get my cha cha heels
I'll walk all over you

   
                   
Zippin' up my boots

   
                   
Goin' back to my roots, yeah

   
                   
To the place of my birth

   
                   
Back down to earth

   
                   
I'm homeward bound
Got my head turned around

   
                   
Zippin' up my boots

   
                   
Goin' back to my roots

   
                   
Come on, Lauren.

   
                   
Stand by your man, Lauren.

   
                   
Thank you.

   
                   
Lola, this is a Charlie
from Northampton.

   
                   
I'm looking at a shoe fair programme
with a big gap where you should be.

   
                   
But I have to say,
unlike most people,

   
                   
wherever you leave,
you leave a gap, Lola.

   
                   
You will in Northampton.
You have in Milan.

   
                   
Listen, if people ever tell you,
you look half a man,

   
                   
you gotta remember, that's fine.

   
                   
I mean,
I don't know what half a man is.

   
                   
I don't know what the hell a man is.

   
                   
But I know that
if it involves being brave,

   
                   
you are more of a man than
I will ever be. Goodbye, Lola.

   
                   
Don't think that's why I came.

   
                   
I came for the adulation.

   
                   
Why am I leaving you?

   
                   
I'm afraid in life,

   
                   
Lola has always been drawn
to the most exciting,

   
                   
the most daring,

   
                   
the most sexy.

   
                   
There is tell of a mystical place,
far north of here,

   
                   
called Northampton.

   
                   
Exciting, because
it contains a shoe factory

   
                   
struggling to survive
against all the odds.

   
                   
Daring, because it's run
by a man brave enough to recognise

   
                   
that a factory is its people,
not its bricks.

   
                   
And sexy,
well, because now I work there.

   
                   
And the craftsmen of fantasy,

   
                   
for ladies, gentleman,
and those of you who are yet...

   
                   
...to make up your minds.

   
                   
Tonight I give you,
the Kinky Boot Factory.

   
                   
Yes sir I can boogie

   
                   
If you stay you can't go wrong

   
                   
I can boogie

   
                   
Boogie woogie

   
                   
All night long

   
                   
No sir, I don't feel
very much like talking

   
                   
No neither walking

   
                   
You want to know if I can dance

   
                   
Yes sir,
already told you in the first verse

   
                   
And in the chorus

   
                   
But I will give you
one more chance

   
                   
Yes sir I can boogie

   
                   
But I need a certain song

   
                   
I can boogie

   
                   
Boogie woogie

   
                   
All night long

   
                   
Yes sir I can boogie

   
                   
If you stay you can't go wrong

   
                   
I can boogie

   
                   
Boogie woogie

   
                   
All night long

   
                   
Yes sir I can boogie

   
                   
But I need a certain song

   
                   
I can boogie

   
                   
Boogie woogie

   
                   
All night long





  
 
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