Kronk's New Groove Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Kronk's New Groove script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the sequel movie to Emperor's New Groove with Patrick Warburton.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Kronk's New Groove. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

Kronk's New Groove Script





Yep, that's me. Kronk.



Wait. Where did I go?



Right, there I am.



Covered in cheese

like a human pizza.



My life was fine until today.



- But now I'm doomed. Doomed!

- Ah!



You know, it wasn't

always like this.



I helped save the emperor's life.

Found a rewarding career.



Next slide!



I even made

some great new friends.



Oh! But look at me now!

Hiding out like a frightened kid



who needs a hug

from his teddy bear.



The little yellow one

with the button nose.



Ah, if only I could

turn back the clock.



Back to a time when I had

a spring in my step



and a... smile in my heart.



A time I like to think of as...



...earlier that same day.












Come on!






That's what I'm talking about.



Look out! Here it comes!



# See him walkin' down the street



# With a merry gleam in his eye



# He's loved by everyone in this town



# He's loved by this town



# To look at him now you'd never know

He was once the kind of guy



# Who tried to bring an empire down



# An empire down



# He lost his groove, he lost his way

When he fell in with a woman



# Who wanted to take over the world



# But then he did a full    



# Said vamoose to the shady lady



# Now he'll teach your kid

to talk like a squirrel



- Squeakity squeaken.

- Squeak, squeaken!



# And though he spreads such joy

everywhere he goes



# Looks like this town's fly guy



# Will be the last to know



# There is nothing to prove



# Don't have to approve

the way that you move



# Don't have to be smart

or be rich or be smooth



# Don't have to make art

that could hang in the Louvre



# If you just go with your heart



- # Then you'll be true to your groove

- # True to your groove



- # You should be true to your groove

- # True to your groove



- # You should be true to your groove

- # True to your groove



# Yeah, you should be true to your



# Oh, you should be true

to your groove #



So right about now

you're probably wondering,



"Hey, where's that emperor guy?"



Ha-ha! Wella, wella, boom baby!



Emperor Kuzco here,

coming at you live from the palace.



Hail Kuzco!



No, please, don't grovel.

l'd feel stupid.



l'm not that kind of guy anymore.



l'm nice now.

Didn't you see the first movie?



Yay! A   -foot me!



Oh, l love that movie,

'cause it's all about me.



But right now it's Kronk's turn

to be in the limelight.



Let me put this as simply as l can.



This one's his movie.



Not my movie. His movie.



Not mine. His, not mine.



His. Not mine. You got it?



Even the little ones? OK.



l'll be back

to check on you later.



Have some popcorn,

a little sippy-sip of your sip stuff.



Places, please. Action!






Waffle platter, extra butter,

two honey-glazed pill bugs



and a chocolate sundae,

hold the cherry.



One diet plate. Got it.



Yeah, it was shaping up

to be another perfect day.



The orders were flying, the joint

was jumping, grease was popping...



...and everybody knew my name.






Oh, yeah, I was living the dream.



Hey, Kronk!

How about some grub?



- Pacha!

- Hey, Kronk!



Tipo. Chaca.



Put her there, Junior Chipmunks.



Nice handshake, Chippers!



- Mmm. Someone's been practicing.

- Oh! You're too kind.



Pacha, you forgot

your change yesterday.



Hey, thanks, Kronk!



Well, what's right is right.




- lt'd be wrong!

- Right.



Boy, the place is packed.



Yeah. Never had this many friends

when l was an evil henchman.



And look at you now,

chef at Mudka's.



And head delivery boy!



Delivery Boy logo by permission

of Delivery Boy Local         .



- l get my one-year pin next week.

- That calls for a celebration!



A toast to Kronk!



May you be this happy



till the day you die!






l've come to

deliver this urgent llamagram.



Llamagram. Thank you.



Everything OK, buddy?






Are you kidding? lt's just your

run-of-the-mill urgent llamagram.



What am l gonna do?

What am l gonna do?



l know. l'll tunnel out of here with

a spoon, escape through the sewers



and live as a quiet but lonely

shepherdess named Maria.



That'll work.



We're out of spoons!

That's it. l'm done for.



Chin up, big guy.

l'm here for you.



You! This is all your fault! You...



You're the one who

got me into this mess!



lf you'd listened,

you could have had everything.



But no. You had to listen

to Miss Goody Two-Wings.



Mr. Goody Two-Wings.



Yeah, big talk

coming from a guy in a dress.



- l told you, it's a robe.

- And those are pearls.



Fellas! You're not helping.



Now where was l? Oh, yeah.






- What's with you?

- lt's my father.



He's... He's...



...coming for a visit.



"Can't wait to meet

your wife and kids and see



your big house on the hill.




your father, Papi." So?



So Papi said l have to have all those

things if l'm ever gonna be a success.



And l once had them,

but l lost them!



- So?

- l never told him that part.



Big whoop.

Tell him the truth.



What? Tell him the truth?

Are you nuts?



You don't let a guy like Papi down,

or you'll get one of these.



The Cold Shoulder,

the Frenzied Eyebrow,



the Grimace of Doom,

the Sneer of Despair,



the Crippling Wince of Guilt,



the Scowl of lmpending Wrath,



and worst of all,



the Nostril Flare of Total Rejection.



Total rejection.

Right, right. Mm-hmm.



l remember it well. Too well.



You see, I was always...



...different growing up.



Squeak, squeaker, squeaken?



Papi didn't approve.



He said if I didn't get serious,

I'd never amount to anything.



But nothing I ever did

was good enough for him.



All I ever wanted

was a thumbs up



from Papi.



And l was so close.



l once had

a beautiful house on a hill.



Papi woulda loved it.



That house was

a dream come true.



Are you gonna

tell me your life story,



or are we gonna get back

to running a restaurant?



You're right. Priorities.



Get comfortable.

l've got a lot to get off my chest.



Oy! l had to ask.



My nightmare began

on a day like any other.



So, technically, I guess

that would be a "daymare. "



But I digress.



It was lunchtime, and I was making

my usual deliveries around town.



I always saved

the best stop for last,



to see my dear old friends at the

Flickering Embers Home for Seniors.



A happier group of folks

you'd never hope to meet.



A perfect example of how

to grow old with grace and dignity.



Does this look like a rash to you?



Has anybody seen my teeth?



Oy! My aching knee.



l sure wish there

was some way to stop getting old.



lf only they could

put youth in a bottle.



l'd pay anything for that.



Again with the youth potion.



How many times do l have to

tell you: there's no such thing!



- But if there were...

- But there's not!



- l said "if"!

- lf, schmiff!



OK, you two lovebirds.



l don't have any youth potion,

but l did bring you lunch.



- Hello, Kronk!

- Hello, Kronk!



- Hiya, Kronk!

- Rudy!



Gimme some stick.

What's shaking?



- What isn't?

- Brought your favorite:



- pureÚ of mystery meat.

- Oooh!



Now that's a lunch

l can sink my teeth into.



And to complement your meal,

prune juice.






Drink up, everyone! Liquid gold.




How can you drink that stuff?



Kronk says it's good for us.



Good enough for me.

Fill her up, Kronk!



- l guess that's everything.

- Aren't you forgetting something?



- No, that's not it.

- Here you go, pal.



From all of us.



Oh, no, Rudy. l couldn't.



We insist!

lt's for your house fund.



You know.

So you can afford that



house on the hill your father

always wanted you to have.



Oh, yeah. And then l could finally

get the big thumbs up from Papi.



Yeah. How's that going?



Oh, l'll get there. Someday.



How about fresh

pill bug tomorrow?



- All right!

- l'll see you all later.



Oh, boy.

Uh, somebody lose this? Anybody?



That's weird.



Ooh! Hey!



Little did I know, my life

was about to be changed forever.



If only there'd

been some kind of warning.



A sign.






Oh, you're a feisty one.

Hold still now.












All right. Where'd you go,

you little rascal?



Looking for... this?



Hello, Kronk.



Yzma! What are you doing here?



l live here. Ever since

l was thrown out of the palace.



Ah. Weird.

Never seen you around.



Ah, but l've seen you, Kronk.



- Oh. You look good.

- You think?



At least you're not a cat anymore.



- Except for that.

- Yes.



An unfortunate side effect

of our last escapade together.



Yeah. Good times.



You drank that potion,

turned you into a cat.



Who would have thought?

lt was a pink one like this.



Don't touch the pink one!



lt's cough medicine.



Hope you get to feeling better.

l'd love to stay and reminisce, but...



- l've been watching you.

- Yeah.



And l have a proposition for you.






A business proposition.



Oh. Whoo!



You see, Kronk,

l'm not the person l once was.



l've changed.



l've turned myself around



and devoted myself to hel...



..."helping others."



Oh, well, that's some turnaround.



l want to help those old geez...



l mean, your friends out there.



Wouldn't you do anything

to ease their suffering, Kronk?



- Of course l would, Yzma.

- Good. Then follow me!



Pull the lever!



Uh... This lever?



- l worked out the bugs.

- Just checking.



Whoo! Huh?



Wait for it.



This is even better

than your last one! Whoo!



Welcome to my new secret lab.



- Souvenir photo?

- Rats! My eyes are closed.



Follow me!



Whoa! Looks like

someone's been busy.



l've finally done it.



l've created the elixir of life.



The answer to everyone's prayers.






The fountain of youth in a bottle!



- Regular and diet.

- Huh. What do you call this?



Yzma's Young and Beautiful!



Heh. Catchy.



And now that you're here,



l finally have the one person

who can make my plan a success!



And that person would be...?



- You.

- Me! l knew that.



Wait. Why me?



Because l'm not

exactly what you call



a "people person."



And everyone trusts you.



Those old people will buy

anything you tell them to.



So you want me

to sell this to them?



What do you say, Kronk?

Help me to help you to help them?



l can't take money from them.

lt wouldn't be right.



Oh, too bad.



Now l guess you'll never get

that great big house on a hill



and the big thumbs up from Papi.












# He wants to come on

up to your house



# Have some supper



What will you serve it on, Kronk?

Plastic Tupper?



# You don't even own a fixer-upper



# Help me to help you to help him



Help you to help me to help who?



l need gold, Kronk!



i mean, you need gold.



# So sign your name



# On this line



# Avoid disaster



"You'll achieve a beautiful

connection with your father."



# Just faster

Win Papi's love



# With that pile of plaster



# Help me to help you to help him



# And then you'll hear him say



# Hey, hey, hey



# I'm milking the Milky Way



# I'm loving this lovely day



# And I



# Feel like a million



# Wow zee wow



# This cat is back, and how



# I'm taking my big-time bow

when I feel like a million



# A million, a million



# A million



Yes! Now, sell, sell, sell!






Step right up.



lt's finally arrived. The cure

for everything that ails you.



Yzma's Young and Beautiful!



Ugh. lt's a, uh, youth potion.






- Here you go.

- Kronk!



Does this stuff really work?



Does this stuff really work?



Of course it does, you idiot!



Of course it does, you idiot!



Good enough for me!



Drink up, everyone!



Liquid gold.



Oh. Look at my range of motion!



My elbow doesn't creak!



l'm melting away the pounds!



Hair! l've got hair!



By golly, this stuff really works!



# Hey, hey, hey



# I'm milking the Milky Way



# I'm loving this lovely day



# And I feel like a million



# Wow zee wow



# This cat is back, and how



# I'm taking my big-time bow

and I feel like a million



# Feel like a million

in a million ways



# Feel like a million



# Feel like a million



# Feel like a million #



Look out, old Yzma's back!



Well, that worked.






lt's like a dream come true.



l put slime in a bottle,

call it a youth potion



and they can't get enough.



l'll be rich!



l'll be on top of the world! Again!



Shut up!




Could she be crazier? Cuckoo!



You see what's going on here,

don't you, folks?



Here's a hint. You got sewer slime,

fancy packaging,



crazy laugh like a demon from

the bowels of the earth. lt's a scam!



Her potion's a fake!

She's selling snake oil, people!



Wake up!



Oh, you saw it already, huh?



Well, smarty,

l bet you didn't see this!



Oh! Yikes! That's gonna

haunt me in my nightmares.



Can we just move on, please?



Guy in the booth!






Big load of happy coming through.



Doesn't get better than this, does it?



l'm making tons of cash

for my house fund.



Now if only l could find

a house on a hill.



Kronk, heard you were looking

for a house on a hill.



- You heard right.

- We need money for more potion.



- Oh, yeah?

- So we're selling the senior home.



Good luck with that.



How much?



Sold! Look, everyone!



- l sold the house!

- Hooray!



OK. Take care. Bye-bye.



Oh, yeah.

lt's all coming together.



Dear Papi, remember how you

never thought I'd amount to anything?



Well, I got news for you.



Good news!



I finally got that big house on a hill

you always wanted me to have.



It's really great.



You're gonna love it.

It's got all the amenities.



Swimming pool,



golf course...



The windmill's a killer.



And my favorite part of all...






Pancake Junction!



I even built a cozy little

guest wing just for you.



Yep. Just a big, serious house

for a big, serious guy.



Like me. That's who l am.

Marge, you getting all this?



- Tina.

- Right. Sorry.



Anyway, Papi,

don't just take my word for it.



Come see for yourself.



l know you're

gonna be so proud of your...



...little Kronker.



- Mr. Kronk?

- Yes, Tina?



- Marge.

- Right.



Wait. What?



- A Mr. Rudy is here to see you.

- Rudy? Rudy who?



Hey, Kronk!



Oh, that Rudy.



Long time no see!



Rudy! What happened to you?



You're, uh, not wearing any...



- ...clothes.

- Oh, that.



l sold my clothes to buy

more of Yzma's youth potion.



You sold your clothes?



l sold everything.

We even sold the senior home.



- You sold your home?

- Yeah. To you.



Oh. Yeah.



- We're flat broke.

- That's awful.



l know. l can't afford

any more youth potion.



Think you can do anything

to help out an old friend?






How about if l spot you a bottle?



My precious!



Kronk just wants to keep it.

We must not let him. No!



Something's just not right here.



Figure that out

on your own, genius?



Yeah, sure did.



- Figured what out?

- OK.






Take a look at your pal, Rudy.



This is before.



This is after.



Before. After.

You see any difference?



Hmm. Can l see "before" again?



Well, l give up.

They look exactly the same.



He looks exactly the same,

so the potion is worthless,



and Yzma's a crook, and it's all

my fault because l helped her do it.



What's the problem?

Look at him. He's happy.



Eh, fine. You win.



Oh, yeah.






Yzma's youth potion is a fake.



- She cheated you.

- Oh?



And... l cheated you too.






l'm sorry.



l guess we better

go tell the others.



The others!

l almost forgot!



They're about

to elect Yzma emperor!



l never knew that was

an elective office.



- Yzma for emperor!

- Thank you, thank you!



l'd like to thank

all the little people,



but what do they matter?



What matters is me, me, me!



And when you elect me

as your new emperor,



l'm going to be

on top of the world!



- Stop this charade!

- Yzma's youth potion is a fake!



- Stop this charade!

- Yzma's youth potion is a fake!



Kronk? What are you doing?



- l want you all to look at Rudy...

- Uh!



...and tell me what you see.



Whoo! That is one

hot hunk of man!



He's in his golden years.



Not getting any younger.

Chronologically challenged.



l got wrinkles,



bunions, ear hair!



l'm still old!



Hey, he's right.

l'm still old too.



Me too! And Hildy looks like...



Uh-uh-uh. Don't even!



Yzma's a crook!



- Yzma's a witch!

- Would you excuse me a moment?



Get her!



She's getting away!



Come on, fellas!



Hit it, girls!



- Whoo-hoo!

- Yippee!



- There she is!

- She's a liar!



- Get her!

- Stop her!



- Don't let her get away!

- Shame on you!



Got you!



Back off, or l'll jump!



Wait! That can't be right.



Whoo! OK. Why don't we all

just take a step back?



Not you, Yzma.



She stole everything we have!



Yeah, we didn't chase her

all the way down here for nothing!



Nice moves back there, Hildy.



Oh! What about you?

Pouncing like a wildcat.



Hey, l just realized something.



We chased Yzma

all the way down here.



Didn't l just cover that?



Don't you see? We're busting moves

like a bunch of teenagers!






So, what you're saying is,



even though the potion was fake,

we're only as old as we feel.



lt's like you should thank Yzma

for robbing you of every last cent.



Wait. That can't be right.



- Let's get her!

- Stand back!



Don't make me use this!






Your cough medicine?



No! My most fiendishly

diabolical potion ever!



When l drink this, you won't

be able to lay a finger on me!



Get her!



- How cute!

- Cutie pie!



See? l told you so.



That's weird.



Let's all reflect on these lessons

on our way home tonight.



Well, everyone, back to the alley.



- You're living in an alley?

- Well, sure.



We sold our house to you.



l got dibs on the cardboard box!



Come on!

You had the box last night.



lt's my turn.



This is awful. l've got to

find them a place to live.



But where can l find a gigantic house

with    extra bedrooms?




Think, think, think!



- You thinking what l'm thinking?

- Too much salt in my spinach puffs?



Oh, no! Your house!






Whoa, Nelly!

Let's not overreact.



You wanna lose your dream house?



That's gonna get us

the big thumbs up from Papi.



lf l lose the house,

l'll let Papi down.



l can't let Papi down.



But you tricked Rudy

out of that house!



Oh, my! lt's true!

l took away Rudy's home!



Hey! You got that house

fair and square!



Yeah, but he cheated

his best friend!



No, he didn't!



Yes, l did.



l gotta do the right thing.






Let's talk real estate.



Looking jiggy, Burt!



Feeling jiggy, Kronk!



All aboard for Pancake Junction!



Tina! Marge! You'll be OK.



l'll help you land on your feet.



Don't worry about us.



We've been contacted

by a team of headhunters.



- But what's going to happen to you?

- Yes. You're giving up everything.



No worries. l may be

giving up everything,



but it was the right thing to do.



So when you think of our

brief time together here,



don't cry for me,

Marge and Tina.



You didn't!



Afraid so.



Oy. Enough with the pity party.

You did good.



End of story. Back to work.



Yeah, but doing good

cost me my dream house.



- And then...

- Don't tell me.



lt cost me my girl.



l said don't tell me.



These oven mitts were

the last thing she touched,



other than my fragile heart...






...before she walked

out of my life.



Roll film!






Wrong movie.



# All hail to Camp Chippamunka



# We proudly pledge

our troth to thee



What's a troth?



It all happened

at Camp Chippamunka.



# And greet our leaders cheerfully



Yeah, right!



We were there

for the Chipmunk Challenge.



We won Troop of the Year

two years running, going for three.



# C-H-I-P-P-amunka can't you see



# You are the acorn of my eye #



OK, Chippers!



- First, we gotta pitch the tents.

- Yay!



And then we'll review

some basic camping terminology.



Hey, Bucky. Uh-huh.



Uh-huh. Squeakity-squeak.



There's a new troop leader

named Birdwell...



...who wants to take away

our... trophy!



Look at them.

They're really snot and polish.



Yeah. lt's "spit and polish."



- Snot.

- Spit.



- Snot!

- Spit!



Whoa. Easy, kids. Spit, snot,

same general neighborhood.



And don't worry about

this Birdwell guy, whoever he is.



The important thing here

is that there are no losers.



But you always win.

Right, Kronk?



We always win.



But winning's not

what really counts.



Remember our motto.



"Keep the focus on fun!"



Two shorts and a long.

The Aquatic Games are about to begin!



You know what that means, Tipo?






Last one in's a rotten egg!



Hup, hup, hup, hup....



Halt! Left face!



- Troop leader?

- Yes, Junior Chipmunk?



Permission to speak.






Yoli's afraid of the water again.



lt's not me! lt's Mrs. Queetzo.



Oh, gosh. Well,

we can't have that, can we?



Now, uh, um, give me the doll.



Yes. l'll have to have

a word with her. Now...



See here, Mrs. Queetzo.



Uh, Yoli is a top-notch swimmer,



and she's very, very brave.



So steady as you go, Chipper.



You're in excellent hands.



Yes. Mm-hmm.



Oh, super-duper!

That's more like it.



What did she say?



She's going to be just tickety-boo.



Very well then.



And off you go.



Hup, hup, hup, hup...



Let the aquatic competition begin!






This is gonna be fun!



Hurry up!



Cannonball! Cannonball!



Oh, l'm so proud

of my little Chippers.



Oh, dear. Are you all right?



Oh, you're a troop leader.



Are you hurt?

Can you speak?



Blink if you can hear me.



She was a vision. Feet

like a pair of landlocked tugboats.



Knees like brass doorknobs.



Elbows so rough they could take

the grain right off a two-by-four.



And her eyes.



They say the eyes

are the window to the soul.



Hers were more like

steel-reinforced security doors



with a combination

I just had to crack.



No doubt about it.



She was the kinda girl

you'd want to bring home to Papi.



Wow! The Chipmunk Handshake

of Fellowship, Level Seven.



A level attainable only by the

most dedicated of troop leaders.



You're good.



Well, you're better.



You're sensational.



You're dazzling.



- l'm Kronk.

- l'm Birdwell.



- You're Birdwell?

- Yes.



- But you're a girl!

- Cannonball!






- Awesome!

- Phat wave, dude!



Nice form, Chippers.



What do you think you're doing?!



Uh... Cannonball?






Look at poor Mrs. Queetzo!



She's all... all...






Well, it is a, uh...

swimming competition.



Oh, it's all about

the competition with you?



Yeah. Wait. What?



No matter what it does

to the tinies?



Hey, l always put my, uh...

tinies first.



Ha-ha! Obsessed

with being first. l knew it!



Fortunately, there are rules

about this sort of thing.



- What sort of thing?

- Ahem!



Rule  .  paragraph A,

subsection   revised:



"Troops shall compete

in alphabetical order.



B before K, except after May,



or when sounding like A

as in 'neighbor' or 'weigh'."



- Says who?

- Says the Official Chipmunk Rulebook.



No way!






Troop Kronk is disqualified!



The aquatic competition

goes to Troop Birdwell!



Hey! That's not fair!



You ruined the aquatic event

for my poppets.



But now you've

ruined it for my, uh...



- Poppets.

- ...poppets! l knew that!



You should've

thought of that sooner.



Come along, Chippers!

Toodle pip!



Why is this happening?



l-l-l just don't understand.



lt just doesn't make any sense.



Was it loop over,

loop under and pull,



or loop under,

loop over and pull?



Tipo? You OK, little pal?



We're gonna lose the trophy

because of her.






Now, now. Let's, uh...

keep the focus on fun.



- What about her?

- She disqualified us!



Yeah, and you're the best

troop leader ever, Kronk.



She can't do that to you.



Can she?



Just who does she think she is?



Just who does he think he is?



Poor Yoli.

You'll catch your death of cold.



And then he tries to act all innocent.



Thinks he can charm me

with those rippling muscles



and that... that... crooked smile



and those deep, deep



sensitive eyes.



No! He can't do this

to my little Chippers.



She can't do this

to my little Chippers.



- Yeah!

- That's it. Oh, that's it.



The gloves are coming off.

We're going mano a womano.



Let the games begin!



Stroke! Stroke!



So. lt all

comes down to one event.



The Chipmunk Cheer-Off!



There's only one thing to do.



Practice, practice, practice!



Do whatever it takes to win!

Here's how we're gonna do it!



We're gonna hit them hard.

Come at them with everything we got.



Get out there

and give a       percent!



Whatever happened to

"keep the focus on fun"?



We can't let him down. We just

gotta win that trophy for Kronk!



You know what l'd do? Cheat.



What am l hearing?

You can't do that!



- Nah-nah-nah-nah.

- Stop it!



Ha-ha! Crybaby, crybaby,

stick your head in pie, baby!



Make him stop! Make him...



Hey! Kronk said,

"Do whatever it takes to win."






Whatever it takes.



Chin up, Chipmunks!

Victory is ours!



Soon as we practice our routine

ten times through without a mistake.



Uh-uh-uh! Spirit smiles!

l want to see spirit smiles!



Yes. That's more like it!



Peppy and poised!



Remember, don't think of your

opponents as a rival troop.



- Think of them as...

- ...the enemy!



Layout. Very good.



This is no ordinary cheer-off.



Basket toss. Higher!



This is a test

of everything we stand for!



- The culmination of all of our efforts!

- You call that a backflip?



By this time tomorrow,

the trophy will be ours!



Right, Chipmunks?






Oh, man! This really stinks.






l want to go swimming.



l want to have some fun.



l want to go home.



This is all her fault.



This is all his fault.



Well, if there's one sure-fire way

to cheer up a Chipmunk...


           's raisin bread.



OK, flour.



Sugar, raisins, yeast.



l'm out of eggs!



Look at her. She's upset.



Take that, you...



You, you, you, you...

Take that!



"Upset"? She's beating me in effigy.



But her soul yearns for

the soothing salve of human kindness.



Go to her. Go.



Hey, look.

Aren't those your eggs?



"Kronk's. Property of Kronk.

Do not touch, except for Kronk."



Hey! What are you

doing with my eggs?



What are you doing

with my raisins, sir?



- These aren't yours.

- "Birdwell's raisins.



Property of Birdwell.

Do not touch except for Birdwell."



Huh. You think

l would have seen that.



- l need those raisins.

- l need them more.



- You're ruining this.

- You're wrecking it.



- You disqualified us!

- You tried to drown us!



- This is all your fault.

- This is all your fault!



- ls not.

- ls too!



- You twit!

- Give.



- You give!

- You!



So, uh... your kids

are really unhappy, huh?



Rock-bottom, actually.



l'm the worst troop leader ever.



l'm the worst troop leader ever.



- How did we go wrong?

- l just became so competitive.



Yes, but l'm even

more competitive than you.



You mean like that?



Hey, l like it when you laugh.



l've got a proposition.



- My eggs, your raisins.

- Oh!



We could bake

beautiful bread together.



Get out your oven mitts.



Things are about to get...





l'm queen of the world!



Come on.

Throw caution to the wind.



l can't. You'll laugh at me.



Don't you trust me?



l do trust you.



Whoa! lt's like a whole new you.









l think this has been

the best night of my whole life.



Me too.



Good night, Kronky-poo.



Good night, Miss... Birdy-poo.






l'm OK! l'm fine!



Dear Papi,



remember how I've never

been able to meet the right girl?



Uh, any girl?



Well, I finally found

the woman of my dreams.



She's everything

you could want in a woman...



...and more.



Don't get too excited.

We'll take it nice and slow at first.



Mazel tov!



We'll marry

in a fancy ceremony



and have lots of kids.

Love, Kronk.






He found his one true love!



That is so beautiful!



Can l have a moment, please?

Turn away.



OK. OK. All better.



Go, go, go. Go back to the funny.

l'm bringing you down.



# ...loyal, brave and courteous



# And greet our leaders cheerfully...



- Good morning, Chippers!

- We've got a surprise for you.



Raisin bread!



The one sure-fire way

to cheer up a Chipmunk!



Gotta tell you,

Chippers, l'm, uh...



...not proud of how

l've been acting lately.



Neither am l, Kronky-poo.



- Huh?

- "Kronky-poo"?



So we're here to declare that

the feud between us is officially over.



That means no more hostility...



- ...quarreling..




We're doing it again, aren't we?



They're finishing

each other's sentences.



Yeah, it's creepy.



But nice creepy.



The competition between our

troops has gotten out of hand.



Which brings us to

this afternoon's final event.



- The Chipmunk Cheer-Off.

- You're not canceling the cheer-off?



Yeah. We've been working

on our routines all year!



Very well,

but only on one condition.



From now on,

we want you to play fair...



Be good sports...






Keep the focus on fun!



l'm so proud of them.



Hey, where's Tipo?



Kronk is gonna love this.



Scrape out these seed pods,

mash them into itching powder,



sneak the powder into

their chalk at the cheer-off,



and they'll be completely humiliated

while we achieve total domination!



Everybody ready?



- Megaphones?

- Check!



- Pom-poms?

- Check!



- Team spirit?

- Go, team!



Go, team!



Chaca, there is no "l" in "team."



But there's a "U" in "euphoric."



And there's a "me" in, uh...






l got you something.



For me?



l know this is all really new.



And l hope you won't think

that l'm moving too fast,



but there comes a time when

a man's gotta say how he feels.



Oh, Kronk.



Monogrammed oven mitts.



Oh, just my size.



Good luck, Kronky-poo.



Thanks, Miss Birdy-poo.



Yo, crowd, let's get loud!



Go, Chipmunks!






- All right!

- Yeah!



Yes! Oh, yay!



That was wonderful, Kronky-poo!



You're gonna be even better,

not that it matters who wins.



- We've already won.

- We've already won.



Now l know you're just

itching to get out there,



but don't forget

to chalk up your hands.



You don't want to fall.



l'm not worried.



l know you'd

be there to catch me.



Say what?!



This is gonna be so awesome!



- l know. They're really good.

- Yeah, but we're gonna win.



l cheated, just like you said.



Oh, that's great, Tipo.

Wait, what?



l put itching powder

in their chalk.



You said do

whatever it takes to win.



I know you'd be there to catch me.






"Tipo's ltching Powder.



Property of Tipo.



Do not touch except for..."






How could you?



l'm so disappointed.



Oh, no. What am l gonna do?



Eh, let the kid take the rap.

He'll do easy time.



You put the idea in his head.

Look at him out there.



- He's six.

- Uh-oh, the lip. Not the lip.



Don't look directly at it!



Start flapping your jaw,

the girl goes bye-bye.



- Forever?

- Heartbreak City.



- No.

- So you're gonna weasel out



while they send Tipo

off to the big house?



You forgetting something?

You want this, you need that.




You could have hurt somebody.



l cannot believe that you would disgrace

the Chipmunk name in this manner!



But Tipo needs me.



Let him go!

lt's all my fault.






You told Tipo to cheat?



l told him...

do whatever it takes to win.






- lt was all a big mistake.

- l'll say it was.



The biggest mistake of my life!



l thought l could trust you.



But Miss Birdy-poo...



Don't ever call me that again!



On second thought,



don't call me ever!



She's gone.



And all l have

to remember her by are these.



Now l've got nothing.



No, what you've got

is a full house on fondue night.



Now give me one

Havarti party pot



two blue cheese bombs

and a cracker cheddar surprise. Stat!



How can you think of fondue

at a time like this?



Look, you made the right choice.

You saved the kid.



But l lost the girl.



Now l'm a two-time loser, and my

father's gonna be here any minute.



More like any second.



Ah! What am l gonna do?



Just tell him the truth.



l can't handle the truth!



Where am l going to find a wife

and kids and house on a hill?



How's dinner coming?



l gotta get the wife and kids

back to our house on the hill.



You want to borrow my house?



- And me?

- And them, if it's no trouble.



Kronk, you should be

ashamed of yourself.



Trust me, l am,

but not as much as l'd be



if Papi finds out l'm a failure.



He'll come with everything.

Cold Shoulder, Frenzied Eyebrow,



Grimace of Doom, Sneer of Despair,

Wince of Guilt,



Scowl of lmpending Wrath,

and worst of all,



the Nostril Flare

of Total Rejection.



What's wrong with Kronk?



Duh. You made him look like a

big fat liar in front of Miss Birdwell!



Hey, don't guilt-trip the kid!



- lt's not his fault.

- No, he's right.



l've got to help him.



Now come on, Chich,

he's our friend.






You saw the Nostril Flare

of Total Rejection.



We have to do something

before his father gets here.



Too late. He's here.



- Ah! lt's him!

- l know what to do!



l'll just wait here,

like a sane person.









- Kronker, front and center!

- Yes, sir! Oh!






What do l look like, your Aunt Matilda?



Put her there!









Huh? Oh!



Where are your manners, son?



Uh, sorry. Papi, this is...



- You must be Kronk's wife.

- l'm...



- ...Chicha.

- Chicha.



How'd this knucklehead

ever land a catch like you?



Well, he just asked.






And these are my grandkids?



Front and center, kids,

and... let me have a look at you.



l said front and center!

Names and ages!



Chaca, sir!

Age seven and three-quarters, sir!



And this is Yupi. He's only a half.



And, uh,

that's my house up there,



on the hill.



Wow! l never thought

l'd live to see this.



You, of all people, with a wife,

kids and a house on a hill.



Son, l don't know what to say.



Kronkers! Hoo-hoo-hoo!



Now l really don't know what to say.



Who's this... lovely...






Well, she's, uh...



- l'm Kronk's wi...

- Mother-in-law!



- Granny!

- Pach...




Papi, this is Pachita,



Chicha's mother.






Mother, huh?






Now l see

where Chicha gets her looks.



OK. Who's hungry? Let's eat.



Yeah, l'm starving.



l hope the chef here

knows what he's doing.



Yeah, so do l.



Whoa, little fella!

Where are you going in such a hurry?



Kronk's in trouble!

His father's here!



He doesn't have a wife or kids

or a house on the hill.



l've got to help him!



Kronk's in trouble?

l know what to do.



Hang on, big fella!



The cavalry's comin'!



Ah, well, isn't this nice, Papi?



You, me, Chicha,






So, are you proud of me?



Even a little?



Humph. l'm just glad to see

you gave up all those crazy ideas



- about cooking and talking to animals.

- Kronk! Yoo-hoo!



Yeah. Crazy.



- Hey, Kronk, what's cookin'?

- Nothing!



There's no cooking whatsoever

going on here. No siree.



- What's he talking about? Him!

- Him who?



- Guy who was here.

- What?



- Why's he asking you about cooking?!

- Yeah. That's weird.



lt's a... a business deal.



Oh, Kronk's always

got something cooking.



Oh, yeah.



Speaking of cooking,

what does it take to get food here?



- Talk to the chef.

- l'll go!






Gives us more time

to get to know each other.



Oh... Oh! Lucky me.



l can't do this.



- Look. Fondue night was your idea.

- Ow, ow, ow!






They don't get fed,

they come after you.



Wait. l'll cook.



Feel that!



Like a python.




One bucket of brie,



two Gouda gulps

and a flaming fountain of fondue.



Cardio special. Got it.



And a side salad

with poppy seed dressing.






Kronk! Oh, thank goodness.



- So?

- So, what?



Hello! Anybody up there?



Where's our food?



l've worked up quite an appetite.



More water. Be right back.






l mean... Kronkles!



OK. Stoke the fire.

Stir the fondue.



Chop the onions, lie to Papi.



- Machu Picchu!

- Kronky-wonky!



Who is this?



- Why, l'm the lovely Mrs. Kronk.

- Kronker!



Uh... Right.

l'll go check on dinner.



Hey! ls that any way

to treat the lovely Mrs. Kronk?



l thought l was

the lovely Mrs. Kronk.



Look at us. Putting on dresses.

Pretending to be women.



Kronk! What are you doing?



Dinner rush. Four specials up

and a party of ten in at  :  .



- Kronk!

- Kronk? Kronk!



Let me get this straight.



She's Mrs. Kronk

and she's Mrs. Kronk?



- Papi, l can explain.

- l'm the lovely Mrs. Kronk.



- Ow. You're stepping on my face.

- Or maybe not.



ls there anyone in this town

who isn't Mrs. Kronk?



- Daddy!

- How about them?



- Who are they?

- We're Kronk's adorable kids!









- Sweetheart!

- Tina, Marge.



- Marge.

- Tina.



- Kronk!

- Well, at least that's everybody.



Boom, baby!



Like how l weaseled

myself in the movie? Nice.



- Kuzco?

- How you doing, hot stuff?



Hot stuff?






So this is right

about where we started.



Miserable. Covered in cheese.



Trying to hold on to a big fat lie!






...l have a confession.



l'm not who you think l am. l, uh...



l'm just a humble fry cook.



And a delivery boy.



That's not all.



Chicha's not my wife.



None of these folks are my wives.

And these aren't my kids.



Not even the ones

who really are kids.



Yeah, and that

big house up on the hill,



that's not mine either.



And Pachita...



...not even a woman.



l lied to you, Papi.



l just wanted you

to be proud of me.



l just wanted to get...


            of these.



But all l ever got from you was...



Yeah, that.



l'm a failure.



The truth is...



...l've got nothing.



But Kronk,



you've got us.



And l wouldn't trade

you guys for anything.



Well, that would explain

why you don't have anything.



For your information,

Kronk used to have a big house.



On a hill.



- But he gave it away to us old folks.

- And he had a girlfriend too.



They baked us raisin bread.



He gave up all those things

to protect his friends.



You were actually

listening to my stories?



l was weeping on the inside.



Wait a second.



l really wouldn't

trade you guys for anything.



Not even for a thumbs up.



You see, Papi,

you may look at my life



and think l've got nothing,



but the truth is...



...l've got everything.



Not yet, you don't.



l'm proud of you, son.






Whoo! Papi!






Come here, you little squirt.



Kronk, wait!



Tipo! How's my little Chipper?



l brought a friend.



Hello, Kronky-poo.



Miss Birdy-poo.



l've missed you so much.



l missed you more.



l thought...



We'd never see each other again.



You know what this means.



lf they're finishing

each other's sentences...



...then it must be true love.



- Kronk!

- Awesome!



# He's got nothing to prove



# No one has to approve

The way that you move



# Don't have to be smart

or be rich or be smooth



# Take a look in your heart

'Cause it would behoove



# You to know from the start



- # You should be true to your groove

- # True to your groove



- # You should be true to your groove

- # True to your groove



- # You should be true to your groove

- # True to your groove



# Yeah, you should be true to your



# Oh, you gotta be true

to your groove






Oh, how cute!


Special help by SergeiK