When I start out to make a fool of myself...Donated by SergeiK
...thereīs very little can stop me.
If līd known where it would end, līd have never let anything start.
If līd been in my right mind, that is.
But once līd seen her...
...I was not in my right mind for quite some time.
īīGood evening, īī said l, thinking myself a very gay dog indeed.
But here was a beautiful girl...
...and me with plenty of time to get myself into trouble.
Some people can smell danger.
I asked her if sheīd have a cigarette.
Itīs me last one, so please donīt disappoint me.
But I donīt smoke.
Thatīs how I found her.
And from that moment on, I did not use my head very much...
...except to be thinking of her.
But in the park in those days...
...the rough young fellas used to be staging holdups.
These young fellas were not professionals.
Thatīs the reason...
...why I start out in this story a little bit like a hero.
Which I most certainly am not.
The cabdriver woke up, he was okay...
...so I borrowed his carriage to drive the lady home.
In a while she recovered herself and brightened up...
...what with the things I told her to get her mind off the scare...
...and to set her thinking as well of the brave fella that had rescued her.
Fair Rosalie. Itīs a name līm after calling you. Why not?
Itīs a gorgeous, romantic little name entirely.
-līm Michael, a poor sailor... -Youīre a character.
...with the princess of Central Park riding along at his side.
I want to know where does the princess come from?
I donīt know why she should tell you but...
Well, her parents were Russian, quite Russian.
You never heard of the place sheīs from.
-Would Your Highness care to gamble? -Sheīs done it for a living.
I bet you līve been to the place you were born.
-Cheefoo. -ltīs on the China coast.
Itīs the second wickedest city.
-Whatīs the first? -Macao.
-I worked there. -You worked in Macao?
Hereīs your dollar. How about Shanghai? I worked there too.
-As a gambler? -Well...
Hope you were luckier than tonight.
You need more than luck in Shanghai.
-Do you know what? -What?
I bet I could drive the cart from down there inside with you.
Thereīs a police car on the other road.
We best get out of the park. Itīs too simple for the cops to find us.
You donīt like them.
The cops struggle along without our doing their work for them.
Watch where youīre going! Get that nag out of here!
Now the cops are bound to pick us up.
Weīd best leave the cab here and walk.
-You donīt like the police. -I do not.
My carīs right there in the garage, anyway.
Tell me, Michael, is there some reason why the police donīt like you?
Well, they never put me in jail in America.
You know, the nicest jails are in Australia, the worst are in Spain.
What law did you break in Spain?
I killed a man.
Just now you almost killed a girl.
Is there a law against that?
Try it, you wonīt like the jails.
They put you in jail for murder? I didnīt think so.
A man killed his wife in Frisco last week.
Sheīd gone to the icebox for supper.
He thought she was a burglar, he said. He shot her five times in the head.
-He had a good lawyer. -Evidently. I saw his picture.
Arthur Bannister. It said heīs the worldīs greatest criminal lawyer.
-Some people think he is. -Hereīs your car.
Send the bill to my husband.
If youīre a sailor, thereīs a job for you. Would you like to work for me?
līd like it.
līm shipping out tomorrow.
So are we! To the West Coast, by way of the Canal.
Weīre short a man on the crew.
līll make it worth your while.
Could it be this youīre looking for?
You were smart to carry a gun, traveling alone in the park...
...but if you knew you had the gun in your bag, why throw away the bag?
I meant for you to find it. I donīt know how to shoot.
You just pull the trigger.
Some dame, ainīt she?
Yeah. And some car.
Evening, Mr. Grisby.
Mr. Bannister sent it all the way from San Francisco.
So she could have it here.
-Bannister? -Arthur Bannister, himself.
Gee, some guys have all the luck.
Personally, I donīt like a girlfriend to have a husband.
If sheīll fool a husband, I figure sheīll fool me.
New York is not as big as it pretends to be...
...so I spent the next day in the hiring hall...
...waiting for a ship.
That way, big boob that I am...
...I thought I could escape her.
S.S. American Trader...
Cigarettes will stunt your growth. Come here!
I wonder if you could help me locate a Mr. OīHara.
You mean Black Irish that talks fancy?
-I donīt know him myself but... -Black Irish?
Yeah, I know him. Joe, call Mike OīHara, a guy here wants to see him.
Michael OīHara, please step to the bulletin board.
A man wants to see you.
-Shipmates? -We was in Spain together.
They started calling him Black Irish after what he did to finks back in ī39.
Mikeīs got blarney, but he can hurt a man when he gets mad.
You were asking for me?
Youīre what they call an able-bodied seaman?
Thatīs what they call it.
-You ever work on a yacht? -No.
-I presume you can handle a speedboat. -I presume so.
Do you drink?
I beg your pardon?
I asked you if you drink.
Whateverīs set in front of me. Doesnīt have to be wholesome, just strong.
Do you drink habitually?
May I ask, mister, if youīre extending an invitation?
I guess it might as well be.
If youīll show me to the nearest bar...
...weīll sit down and discuss your coming to work for me.
My name is Bannister.
Me boys, may I present Mr. Arthur Bannister.
The worldīs greatest criminal lawyer.
-This is Jake Bjoronson and... -Hi.
Hi, līm Goldfish...
Mr. Bannisterīs wife sent him to get me, isnīt that right, Mr. Bannister?
Now, Mr. Bannister is gonna buy us all a few drinks...
...while I entertain myself by refusing to go to work for him.
You know, Mike saved my wifeīs life.
Here, would you mind inserting these coins? Number four.
Thatīs all we like to hear.
Mikeīs quite a hero.
Quite a tough guy.
Mister, there ainīt no such thing.
No such thing as...
Whatīs a tough guy?
I donīt know.
A guy with an edge.
What makes him sing better than me? Something in here.
What makes it loud? A microphone. Thatīs his edge.
-Edge? -A gun, a nightstick or a razor.
Something the other guy ainīt got.
An extra reach on a punch, instead of brass knuckles, a stripe on a sleeve...
...a badge that says īīcopīī on it, a rock in your hand...
...or a bankroll in your pocket.
Thatīs an edge, brother.
Without an edge, there ainīt no tough guy.
-You hear that, Black Irish? -ltīs true.
...bear it in mind.
Yeah, but what makes him sing prettier than you?
Naturally, someone had to take Mr. Bannister home.
I told myself I couldnīt leave a helpless man...
...lying unconscious in a saloon.
Well, it was me that was unconscious...
...and he was exactly as helpless as a sleeping rattlesnake.
Say, itīs nice of you, Michael, to be so nice to me while I was so drunk.
I wasnīt sure youīd come.
līm not staying.
Youīve got to stay.
Itīs gonna be a real nice cruise.
First, the Panama Canal, then up the Mexican coast.
We need a boatswain, Danny-boy. Ever done any sailing?
A bit of it. I saw you last night at the garage.
Somebody else, Danny-boy.
She needs you bad.
If you play your cards right, we can get a job for the both of us.
I think weīll take it.
And what was l, Mike OīHara, doing on a luxury yacht...
...pleasure-cruising in the sunny Caribbean Sea?
Well, itīs clear now, I was chasing a married woman.
But thatīs not the way I wanted to look at it. No.
To be a real prize fathead like Mike OīHara...
...youīve got to swallow all the lies you can think up to tell yourself.
Our little expedition spent some weeks in the West Indies.
Dawdling around, seeing the sights, laying in supplies...
...and getting into more trouble.
Hi, onboard the Cerce!
Why donīt you go swimming?
I beg your pardon?
I say, why donīt you go swimming?
I didnīt bring a swimming suit along on the job, sir.
You ought to the next time.
There wonīt be a next time. līm quitting.
My trunks ought to fit you.
Youīll find them in the locker.
I suppose youīre wondering who I am.
I saw you in New York.
I flew in this morning, by way of Havana.
līm George Grisby, you know. Grisby & Bannister.
-Where is everybody, gone ashore? -Almost everybody.
My partner too? Mr. Bannister?
And the lady?
Mr. Bannister tells me you once killed a man.
-You are Michael, arenīt you? -Thatīs right.
līm very interested in murders.
Forgive me if I seem inquisitive...
-...but whereīd it happen? -At Murcia.
Howīd you do it?
No, let me guess.
You did it with your hands, didnīt you?
Does it ever bother you when you think about it?
What did he do to you?
You just killed him for the fun of it, eh?
He was a Franco spy. There was a war at the time.
Then it wasnīt murder, I suppose.
Tell me, would you do it again?
Would you mind killing another man?
līd kill another Franco spy.
I was on a pro-Franco committee, fella, during the Spanish War.
Would you kill me if I gave you the chance?
I may give you the chance.
Before Li went ashore, did he make lunch?
-Yes, maīam. -ls there enough for two?
I donīt know. Why donīt you ask Mrs. Bannister?
You ask her.
Would you like a good paste in the eye?
I wish sheīd asked me to go swimming.
Sheīll ask you.
You wait and see.
Will you help me?
Give me a cigarette.
līm learning to smoke now.
Ever since that night in the park...
...līve been getting the habit.
Do all rich women play games like this?
Call me Rosalie.
-I didnīt think you would do that. -I didnīt either.
Youīre scared, arenīt you?
līm scared too.
Methinks you needed me to help you.
Sure, if you need anything, you help yourself.
līm not what you think I am.
I just try to be like that.
Keep on trying...
...you might make it.
What are we scared of?
So long, kiddies!
Now he knows about us.
I wish I did.
Mr. Grisby has just told me something...
...līm very sorry to hear.
Lover, this concerns you more than anyone else.
Donīt take your arms...
According to George here, Michael is anxious to quit.
Comes a change in weather
-Did you know about that, lover? -No, I didnīt.
Shut up, George. Whatīs the matter, the hours too long?
-No, sir. -How about the money?
I donīt care about that.
Money doesnīt interest you. Are you independently wealthy?
Before you start that novel, you better learn something.
You traveled around the world too much to find out about it.
...līve always found it sanitary to be broke.
Thatīs good too, Arthur.
Shut up, George.
Money cannot bring you health and happiness, et cetera, is that it?
Without money, līd be flat on my back in a county hospital.
Look at this yacht. It once belonged to Jules Bachrach...
...who kept me out of his club because my mother was a Manchester Greek.
I got him on perjury.
He died bankrupt, and here I am.
-Each has his idea of happiness... -Light this for me.
līve got no match.
...but money is what all of us have in common.
Take Bessie, here. She used to work for Bachrach.
-I pay her more, donīt I? -Yes, Mr. Bannister.
Her salary means happiness.
It means a home.
Three rooms for two families.
Sheīs a grandmother and a widow and only one boy works.
-lsnīt that right? -Yes.
Yes, of course it is.
So Bessie goes to church every Sunday...
...and prays to God sheīll never be too old to earn the salary I pay her.
You call yourself independent.
-Come and see me five years from now. -Aye-aye, sir.
Sing it for us again, lover.
Why do you stand for that? līm quitting. Why donīt you?
You heard him, I need the money!
Talk of money and murder. I must be insane...
...or these people are lunatics.
Thatīs why I canīt leave.
That poor little child he married...
...somebodyīs got to take care of her.
Please donīt hold me
But if you hold me
Donīt take your arms
Comes a change in weather
Comes a change of heart
And who knows when
The rain will start
So I beg you
Please donīt love me
But if you love me
Then donīt take your lips
Or your arms
Or your love
Rub Glosso Lusto in your hair
Keep it Glosso Lusto bright
G-L-O double-S-O L-U-S-T-O
Is right Glosso Lusto
So remember, ladies, use Glosso Lusto.
Pleases your hair.
Pleases the man you love.
Will you help me?
Love. Do you believe in love at all, Mrs. Bannister?
Give me the wheel.
I was taught to think about love in Chinese.
The way a Frenchman thinks about laughter in French?
The Chinese say...
...it is difficult for love to last long...
...therefore, one who loves passionately...
...is cured of love in the end.
Thatīs a hard way of thinking.
Thereīs more to the proverb.
Human nature is eternal...
...therefore, one who follows his nature...
...keeps his original nature in the end.
Arenīt you glad I talked Michael into coming along...
He mustīve changed his mind about me.
Faith, Mr. Bannister. līve already told your wife...
...I never make up my mind about anything at all...
...until itīs over and done with.
līd like to, but I canīt deny that Mr. Bannister...
...didnīt try to give his wife the things she wanted.
Sheīd said once that she liked picnics.
We were on our way up the Mexican coast...
...when he decided to stop and give her one.
Well, Mr. Bannisterīs picnic party...
...was most typical of him.
A lot of trouble and money went into it...
...but it was no more a picnic...
...than Bannister was a man.
When you hear what I got for you...
Sid, weīve worked many cases. līll be sorry to make this one the last.
-This is... -Thereīs a plot against my life.
līm going to be murdered. Isnīt that it?
līm going to be killed.
Why, Sid, donīt you think I know about it?
All about it!
Now leave me alone!
I want to enjoy myself.
I found out about Broome. I tried to tell you, he isnīt a steward.
-Not a good one. -Heīs a detective.
My husband hires him to watch me, so līll never be able to divorce him.
-So he can divorce you. -He wants to cut me off without a cent.
Does that matter so much?
Sweet, you donīt know anything about the world.
Lately, līve been rounding out my education.
līll say this much for you, Arthur. When you give a picnic, itīs a picnic.
Time for another?
-Arthur. -Time for another.
-You know what? Michael still insists... -What?
I beg your pardon?
I said what.
Michael still insists on quitting.
-Why shouldnīt he? -Oh, no.
-Arthur ought to make him stay. -lf he wants to go, let him.
But George likes to have him around, lover.
Michaelīs so big and strong. Makes a good bodyguard for you.
Isnīt that what you said, George?
I donīt need a bodyguard.
-Not even a big, strong one? -Donīt make another drink.
-With an Irish brogue? -Heīs had enough.
George thinks Michaelīs falling for you, and that makes me unhappy.
...but George is wrong again.
-I didnīt say anything about them. -Make me another drink, George.
Another Grisby special, coming up.
You know, youīre a stupid fool, George.
You ought to realize I donīt mind it a bit if Michaelīs in love with my wife.
Sit down, darling.
Whereīs your sense of humor?
I donīt have to listen to you.
Oh, yes you do, lover.
...you leave Elsa alone.
Come to think of it...
...why doesnīt Michael want to work for us?
Why should he?
Why should anyone want to live around us?
Whereīs your sense of adventure?
-Excuse me, sir, heīs eating. -Tell Michael to step over here.
Hey, Mike, they want to see you over there, Mr. Bannister and them.
Well, Mr. Bannister?
My wifeīs lost her sense of humor, and youīve lost your sense of adventure.
Sit down and have a drink. Give him a drink, George.
And donīt look so shocked.
Michael may not be in the Social Register, but then neither are you...
Is this what you folks do for amusement?
Sit around toasting marshmallows and call each other names?
If youīre so anxious for me to join the game, līd be glad to.
I have a few names līd like to be calling you myself.
Oh, but, Michael, that isnīt fair.
Youīre bound to lose the contest.
Weīll have to give you a handicap, Michael.
You should know what George knows about me...
...if you really want to call me names.
...if you think Georgeīs story is interesting...
...you ought to hear the one about how Elsa got to be my wife.
Do you want me to tell him what youīve got on me, Arthur?
Do you know...
...once, off the hump of Brazil...
...I saw the ocean so darkened with blood it was black...
...and the sun fainting away over the lip of the sky.
Weīd put in at Fortaleza...
...and a few of us had lines out for a bit of idle fishing.
It was me had the first strike.
A shark it was.
Then there was another.
And another shark again.
Till all about, the sea was made of sharks...
...and more sharks still.
And no water at all.
My shark had torn himself from the hook...
...and the scent or maybe the stain it was, and him bleeding his life away...
...drove the rest of them mad.
Then the beasts took to eating each other.
In their frenzy...
...they ate at themselves.
You could feel the lust of murder like a wind stinging your eyes.
And you could smell the death reeking up out of the sea.
I never saw anything worse...
...until this little picnic tonight.
And you know...
...there wasnīt one of them sharks in the whole crazy pack that survived.
līll be leaving you now.
George, thatīs the first time...
...anyone ever thought enough of you to call you a shark.
If you were a good lawyer, youīd be flattered.
-Whereīs Mrs. Bannister? -līm sure I donīt know, sir.
-She adores it here in Acapulco. -So do l...
Itīs nice and quaint, but when are we gonna get back to Frisco?
Mind walking with me, fella?
I know all the best places. You might enjoy it.
I want to make you a proposition.
-Beautiful, isnīt it? -The beach, you mean, or the tourists?
īTis a fair face to the land...
...but you canīt hide the hunger and guilt.
Itīs a bright, guilty world.
Darling, of course you pay me!
Whatīs your guess, Michael?
Think the worldīs coming to an end?
There was a start to the world, so I guess thereīll be a stop.
Itīs coming, you know.
Itīs got to come.
First the big cities...
...then maybe even this.
Itīs just got to come.
I prefer to be somewhere else when it does.
I will be.
Thatīs what I need you for, to see to it that līm not around.
-Howīd you like $5000? -What?
Thatīs what I said. $5000, fella.
What do I have to do for it?
līll fill in the details later. Meanwhile, think it over, Michael.
Five thousand dollars.
All you have to do is kill somebody.
Who, Mr. Grisby?
līm particular who I murder.
...I wouldnīt like to kill just anybody.
-ls it someone I know? -Oh, yeah.
But youīll never guess.
-I give up. -ltīs me.
līm perfectly sober, Michael.
līm willing to pay $5000 if the job is well done.
This is a straightforward business proposition.
I want you to kill me.
So long, fella!
-You talked to George yesterday? -I did.
-Did he say anything about us? -Heīs afraid the world will explode.
He talked about suicide.
līve thought of that sometimes.
Do you think itīs wrong, Michael?
I donīt know.
Would you kill yourself if you had to?
I donīt know.
-līve looked at the pills many times... -Pills?
The ones my husband takes to kill the pain.
And wondered if enough of them would kill my pain.
The pain of just being alive?
Mr. Grisby wants to be cured of that pain. He wants me to cure him.
Mr. Grisby wants me to kill Mr. Grisby.
-līm sure heīs out of his mind. -Heīs not sane.
-Neither is Arthur. -Arthur can take care of himself.
-What do you want? -Beautiful moon.
Nice night for it, ainīt it, Mr. OīHara?
You didnīt answer me, Mr. OīHara.
Speak when youīre spoken to.
līd hate to have to report you to the ladyīs husband.
I said itīs a nice night for it.
Would you care to dance with me?
Stop crying. I canīt stand for you to cry.
-You know what Broomeīs been doing? -Spying.
Spying on you.
Sure līm gonna take you where there arenīt any spies.
-Where? -A long way off.
-Somewhere to the far places. -Far places?
Weīre in one of them now. Running away doesnīt work. I tried it.
Everythingīs bad, Michael.
You canīt escape it or fight it. Get along with it.
Deal with it. Make terms.
Youīre such a foolish knight errant, Michael.
Youīre big and strong.
You just donīt know how to take care of yourself.
So how could you take care of me?
Mike! Hey, Mike!
If youīll pardon me this intrusion...
-...thereīs a couple of cops out here. -Cops?
I donīt speak their language.
And they wants me to identify this guy.
Whatīs the Spanish for īīdrunken bumīī?
It was early October when we made San Francisco...
...and dropped anchor across the bay from the city, in Sausalito.
It had been a most interesting cruise.
All very rich and rare and strange.
But I had had no stomach for it.
To begin with, living on a hook takes away your appetite.
Youīve no taste for any pleasure but the one thatīs burning in you.
But even without an appetite...
...līd learned itīs quite amazing how much a fool like me can swallow.
Please, Michael, be careful.
The carīs down there.
Mr. Bannisterīs waiting to take you into the city...
...to San Francisco, but youīre not going with him.
Youīre going with me.
I can take care of you.
You think līd take you to a desert island to eat berries and goatīs milk.
And līd have to take in washing to support you.
What would you say to $5000 to get us started?
Weīve got a date with a couple of beers, fella.
Arthur was asking for you.
Heīd wondered where youīd gone.
I wonīt tell him.
-You didnīt answer my question. $5000? -Goodbye, Michael.
Couldnīt we start on that?
Would you have to take in washing on $5000?
I suppose you wonder whatīs behind my little proposition.
None of your business, actually, but since weīre partners in crime...
...līll tell you, our firmīs insured against the death of either partner.
That means if one of us dies, the other will get a lot of money.
-Thanks. Now, leave us alone. -Yes, sir.
Like some other people we both know, līm not very happily married.
And another thing, frankly...
...I donīt want to be within 1000 miles of that city or any city...
...when they start dropping those bombs.
Thereīs been a suggestion we drive you into town.
Want a beer before you go?
līll be waiting with Mrs. Bannister in the car.
Better meet me in my office. Make it late tonight.
Thatīll take a girl and a sailor on a nice little trip.
-līll meet you at your office. -Do.
Thereīs a paper līd like you to sign.
Itīs nothing very binding or important, really.
Just a confession of murder.
Hereīs to crime.
She say meet you at aquarium. 9:00, before people there.
...if you ever need a good lawyer, Michael...
...let me know.
īīl, Michael OīHara, in order to live in peace with my God...
...do freely make the following confession. On August 9th...īī
Thatīs tomorrow night.
īī...I shot and killed Mr. George Grisby...
...placing his corpse in the Sausalito Bay.īī
Just a minute.
What youīre reading, am I supposed to have written it?
Itīs your confession.
Itīs the easiest 5000 youīre ever gonna earn.
Why donīt you do it yourself?
Commit suicide? Me? Donīt be silly.
Suicide is against the law. And weīre not gonna break the law.
This is going to be murder, and itīs going to be legal.
I want to live, but I want to vanish.
I want to go away and change my name and never be heard of again.
But that costs money. It isnīt easy nowadays.
If theyīre looking, theyīll find you.
Unless they think youīre dead.
Theyīll find you even on the smallest island in the South Seas.
Thatīs where līm going to be, fella.
On that smallest island.
līll mail the rest to you after the īīmurder.īī
But I want to live on that island in peace.
That wonīt be possible unless the world is satisfied I donīt exist.
You know, the lawīs a funny thing, fella.
The state of California will say līm dead...
...if somebodyīll say they murdered me.
Thatīs what līm paying you for.
-To murder you? -Say you did.
-What happens to you, really? -I disappear.
-What happens to me? -Nothing.
Thatīs the choker.
You swear you killed me, but you canīt be arrested.
Thatīs the law. Look it up for yourself.
Thereīs no such thing as homicide...
...unless they find a corpse.
It just isnīt murder if they donīt find a body.
According to the law...
...līm dead if you say you murdered me.
But youīre not a murderer unless līm dead.
Silly, isnīt it?
līve never seen an aquarium.
Would you show me about?
I couldnīt think where else we could meet.
-Only tourists come here and children. -And lovers?
-Oh, Michael. -Fair Rosalie.
-Love me? -I do.
Do you still want to take me away with you?
Why do you ask me that?
Will you carry me off into the sunrise?
līll take proper care of you. You wonīt starve.
I donīt care where it is, Michael.
Just take me there.
Take me quick.
-Come on, come on. -Canīt I look? I want to see.
I donīt want you to worry...
-I am. -I have arrangements...
The things you said yesterday about money.
You didnīt sound like you.
Youīre not going to try anything foolish, are you?
līm afraid so. Something very foolish indeed.
īīl, Michael OīHara, in order to live in peace with my God...
...do freely make the following confession.īī
Read the last part. That explains the whole of it.
īīWe arrived at the boat landing. Mr. Grisby heard a suspicious sound.
He was scared of a holdup and asked me to get the gun out of the car.
I reached in and got the gun, but it went off by accident in my hand.
And I saw that Mr. Grisby was all covered with blood.
It took me a minute to realize that Mr. Grisby was dead.
To realize that l, Michael OīHara, had killed him.īī
But I donīt understand. What were you doing with George in Sausalito?
It says Mr. Grisby wants to go to the yacht and asks me to drive him there.
And thatīs where I kill him.
With the rough tide in the bay...
...they wouldnīt recover the body if there was one.
You donīt understand, darling.
He isnīt dead yet. Grisbyīs alive.
He wonīt be murdered till tonight. Is that foolish enough for you?
My husband wrote that and got you to sign it for him.
Itīs one of those famous Bannister tricks.
Itīs Grisbyīs idea. It seems Mr. Grisby wants to disappear.
And this is a scheme of his to get himself declared dead.
Thereīs more to it than that, Michael. I donīt know what, but thereīs more.
Itīs a trap of some kind.
Youīll meet George tonight, just as he arranged.
Go with him to Sausalito and do whatever he asks you to do.
As long as nobody gets hurt, it wonīt matter.
But donīt let him out of your sight.
Maybe George isnīt as big a fool as he seems to be, but...
...līll swear my husbandīs behind this whole thing.
Oh, Michael, why did you let yourself get dragged into it?
Sure because līm a fool. A deliberate, intentional fool.
And thatīs the worst kind, or didnīt you know?
Yes, my beloved. My beloved fool, I know.
I donīt think anybodyīs home, just Broome.
Mr. Bannisterīs in the city, and Mrs. Bannister went to the movies.
Better wait for me in the kitchen.
Make some coffee. Weīll both need it.
līve got things to attend to.
I wonder, am I the only one thatīs onto you and her?
Nobody else seems to guess youīre sweet on her.
That ought to be worth extra.
-līll throw it in for the same price. -What are you selling?
I can shut up, thatīs what līm selling.
You see, līm a snoopy kind of a guy.
I find things out.
I get around.
I got around one afternoon in Sausalito.
I overheard a conversation in Mexico.
I found out about a little plot of yours.
You wouldnīt want me to say nothing about you framing Michael.
Frame him for a murder youīre committing.
Letīs talk it over tomorrow, huh?
When youīll be playing dead and somebody else is really dead?
No, thanks, Mr. Grisby. Weīll settle our account right now.
All right, Broome...
...if you insist.
-What are you doing? -Oh, hello.
līm sorry. You drive.
Were you shooting a gun?
Yeah, I was just doing a little target practice.
Thatīs what youīll say when you shoot the gun, down by the boat landing.
People come out of the bar to see what happened...
...youīll say, īīI was just doing a little target practice.īī
Really, youīre supposed to have shot me.
Later, when nobodyīs looking, youīre supposed...
...to have thrown my corpse into the bay.
Hey, what happened back there?
-Kind of banged it up. -ltīs our fault, līm afraid.
-Hereīs my card, for the damage. -Looks like youīve got damage.
-Your headīs cut bad. -ltīs okay, really.
-ltīs all right, good night. -Well, good night, Mr. Grisby.
-Did he get a good look at us? -What?
Truck driver, I mean.
-Heīll make a good witness. -What?
Heīll testify he saw us just before the murder.
Broome, are you ill?
I got some lead in me where it hurts.
-līll call a doctor. -Did already.
The trouble is, the doc will report to the police.
Theyīll want to know who was the certain party who shot me.
Donīt worry, heīll get his.
Thereīs gonna be a murder.
Ainīt no fake murder. Somebodyīs gonna be killed.
-Your husbandīs gonna be knocked off. -What?
Youīd better get down to his office, if you want to do anything about it.
-What are you doing? -Getting blood all over the car.
Itīs perfect. If you shot me, there would be blood, fella, see.
Now, when you get back to the garage...
...start washing out the blood stains. Youīre wiping out the evidence, see.
Be careful not to do such a good job that they canīt analyze the stains.
Just try to wash that out.
Get the gun from the glove compartment.
Good. Come on now, letīs go.
Let the ones in the bar get a good look at you.
Theyīll ask about the shooting.
Just say youīre doing a little target practice.
Wait until the speedboat gets away.
-Understand? -Where are you going?
Give me that cap.
-What are you laughing at? -Wait and see.
Why donīt people let some people get some sleep?
Somebody said they heard a shot.
Hey, whatīs with the gun?
I was just doing a little target practice.
-Where you going now? -ls he drunk?
San Rafael... San Rafael, please.
Hello, I want to speak to Mrs. Bannister.
Itīs me. Broome.
Get down to the office. Montgomery Street.
You was framed.
Grisby didnīt want to disappear. He just wanted an alibi.
And youīre it.
Youīre the fall guy.
Grisbyīs gone down there to kill Bannister now.
Stop that car!
Stop the car!
Am I too late?
-Why donīt you save Bannister? -Who?
-Who are you? -Hey, thatīs blood, ainīt it?
-Sure, itīs blood. -ltīs all over the seat.
Will you let go of me?
-Give us your name! -Michael OīHara!
I want to know about Mr. Bannister!
īīl, Michael OīHara, in order to live at peace with my God...īī
-You were asking for me? -Pardon me.
īī...do freely make the following confession...
...on the evening of August 9th, I shot and killed George Grisby.īī
You werenīt killed. It was Grisby.
Hello, darling. Have you heard the news?
George has been murdered.
He was found here on the street with Michaelīs cap in his hand.
Michael is going to need a good lawyer.
Well, itīs my own fault...
...but thatīs how I got into it, big boob that I am.
I began to ask myself if I wasnīt out of my head entirely.
The wrong man was arrested.
The wrong man was shot.
Grisby was dead and so was Broome.
And what about Bannister?
He was going to defend me in a trial for my life.
And me charged with a couple of murders I did not commit.
Either me or the rest of the whole world is absolutely insane.
You know my associate Mr. Sealy, dear. Heīs arranged for your jail pass.
Itīs in this building. Shall he take you?
-līll go by myself. -Sealy, līll join you in the office.
Okay, Mr. Bannister. Excuse me, Mrs. Bannister.
You want to be alone with Michael.
-ltīs your idea. -Morning, Bannister.
Morning, judge. Your boy still in the hospital?
-Been home since Tuesday. -Thatīs fine, judge.
-Was it... -Whatīs that, lover?
-Oh, I beg your pardon. -Wasnīt it your idea?
Isnīt it your idea to save Michael from the gas chamber?
-Arenīt we the only ones who can? -What do you think? Galloway.
-Hi, Bannister. Howīs tricks? -You know our district attorney, dear.
-How do you do... -Mrs. Bannister. Fasbender...
I was the murdered manīs partner. The other was my servant.
If I defend Michael, any jury is going to figure I believe heīs innocent.
And you have reason to believe that Michael is innocent?
I hear that Galloway is going to say...
...that Michael took Georgeīs body into the city in our speedboat.
-But we can prove... -Prove? He couldnīt have.
-Why not? -Howīd he get back?
-Back where? -To the yacht, naturally.
The boat couldnīt have driven itself.
Or maybe it was Georgeīs ghost. Maybe the boat just drifted back.
...Michael has to plead excusable homicide.
But you can prove it wasnīt his gun.
They know it wasnīt Michaelīs gun that killed George.
The gun that did kill George canīt be found, lover.
So we canīt prove that Michael didnīt shoot him.
And it was Michaelīs gun that killed Broome.
...Michael is going to need everything that the greatest...
...living trial lawyer can do for him.
Our good district attorney there has worked up a beautiful case.
The truck driver, the saloonkeeper. Theyīll be effective witnesses.
And heīll know how to handle them. And then thereīs the crazy confession.
But Michael has an explanation.
-Explanation? -You think itīs funny.
That story about how George hired Michael to kill George?
-To pretend to kill him. -Really?
Why would George want to disappear?
-He mentioned partnership insurance. -What?
-Partnership insurance. -Which George wanted to collect?
And George wanted everybody to think he was dead?
Dead, so that he could collect the insurance?
Well, if he was dead, how could he collect?
...if your Irishman doesnīt want to die, heīs going to have to trust me.
...do you trust him?
I wouldnīt trust him with my wife.
You want to make sure he doesnīt get off, donīt you?
līve never lost a case, remember?
...my wife might think he was a martyr.
līve got to defend him.
I havenīt any choice.
And neither have you.
It looks bad for me, isnīt that what your husband says?
Whatever else he is, Arthurīs a marvelous lawyer.
Youīve got to trust him.
-Why? Why should I trust him? -Because itīs your only chance.
Because I want you to.
Thatīll have to do for a reason.
-Why did you kill Broome? -What?
Donīt be afraid to tell me. I want to know.
Grisby killed Broome. He was going to murder your husband.
-George kill Arthur? -You know that.
What could he gain from it?
For one thing, he couldnīt get a divorce.
If people thought he was dead, he could get away from his wife.
-Wife? But thatīs impossible. -Why?
George didnīt have a wife.
He wasnīt married.
Mrs. Bannister, I saved a seat for youse.
Would youse gentlemen please move over?
-Sit down. -I just wanted to look at her.
The question calls for the operation of the officerīs mind.
Very well. In the interest of saving time, weīll proceed.
līm sure Officer Peters is most anxious to go home...
...to his wife and family before returning to duty.
Now, Officer Peters, except for the blood, the clothes were dry.
-Yes, sir. -They were dry...
...yet the defendant stated he threw the body into the bay.
Your Honor, the district attorney isnīt cross-examining, heīs making speeches.
That isnīt so.
I move for a mistrial on the grounds that the jury is being prejudiced.
These are the great Bannisterīs trial tactics in appeal for sympathy.
The D.A. is beginning to get vicious.
When you two gentlemen get over your argument, tell me who won.
Then līll decide on the objection.
Your witness, Mr. Bannister.
...I donīt wish to keep you from your wife and children...
...any more than the D.A. who was so concerned about them a moment ago.
But I would like to ask you one question.
Officer Peters, have you a wife and children?
Thank you. You may step down.
Call your next witness.
Itīs unusual, Your Honor, to put a defense attorney on the witness stand...
...but līm confident that my client will make no objection.
He canīt make Bannister testify against his own client, can he?
Hey, what happened?
This keeps getting screwier all the time.
I wouldnīt take this step if there were any more effective means...
...of establishing the evidence.
With my clientīs expressed permission...
Mr. Bannister will take the stand.
Never seen anything like that.
-I thought he was smart! -None smarter.
You ainīt kidding.
Do you swear to tell...
...the truth and nothing but the truth...
-...so help you God? -I do.
State your name.
...you are a member of the bar?
And have been for a number of years.
That is correct.
The defendant, Michael OīHara, worked as a member of the crew of your yacht?
Did he seem happy in his job?
I beg your pardon?
-You had your back turned... -Did he seem happy in his job?
-Did you get that answer? -Reasonably so.
As a matter of fact, wasnīt he threatening to quit?
Did you know, Mr. Bannister, that right after the murders...
...right after the murders we found the defendantīs bags packed...
...in readiness for an immediate departure?
In your experience as an attorney, would this not indicate...
The district attorneyīs making speeches...
Premeditation and flight!
Making speeches and drawing conclusions.
-I am not drawing conclusions! -You are!
He is asking improper questions in order to influence the jury.
I must ask Your Honor to declare a mistrial.
No further questions.
Would Your Honor kindly explain to the jury...
...that since the district attorneyīs put me in the position of a witness...
...that I am committed, as the defense attorney, to cross examine myself?
These are more of the persuasive Mr. Bannisterīs trial tactics.
The jury is so instructed.
Mr. Bannister, did the defendant say anything as to why he took the job?
Answer: Yes, Mr. Bannister.
Be reminded that Mr. Bannister had to go to the seamenīs hiring hall...
...and use his persuasive powers to convince the defendant...
...to take the job. Question:
Can you think of anything else that is relevant to this inquiry?
Well, I found this boy to be clean-cut...
...courageous, resourceful, honest...
Mr. Bannister, please answer the question yes or no.
Can you think of anything else that is relevant to this issue?
Very well. Thank you, Mr. Bannister.
You may step down.
...I have a subpoena for a witness whoīs in the courtroom.
May I have the bailiff serve it?
You will serve the subpoena.
I call Mrs. Arthur Bannister.
Thereīs no law that says she has to take that, is there?
-Donīt be silly, sheīs gotta take it. -Who says there is?
Sit down and mind your own business.
Raise your right hand.
Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth...
...the whole truth, so help you God?
-I do. -State your name.
Mrs. Arthur Bannister.
...did you ever have guards to police your house...
...or the yacht on which you just cruised?
We never felt the need of it.
You have no children, have you?
I have no children.
You have no children.
So you were never concerned about kidnappers, is that correct?
That is correct.
There was a man employed in your house and on your husbandīs yacht named...
Youīve known Mr. Broome for several years?
Would it surprise you if I were to tell you that the detective...
...hired by your husband...
...in divorce cases was Sidney Broome?
The man you employed in your house as a butler...
...and on your husbandīs yacht, who was murdered?
-I object! -Does counsel deny...?
Does counsel deny...
...that Detective Broome is used by him in divorce cases?
Mrs. Bannister, can you think of any reason why your husband...
...would want to hire a divorce detective, other than to watch you?
As a matter of fact, didnīt you and your husband argue about...
...your showing an infatuation for OīHara?
We did not.
Isnīt it a fact that the defendant OīHara made advances to you...
...and told you he was infatuated with you?
He was very respectful.
Speak up, Mrs. Bannister.
He was very respectful.
And I think he was fond of me.
Just what is your definition of īīfond,īī Mrs. Bannister?
You and Michael OīHara have kissed each other, havenīt you?
To name one occasion, you were seen in the aquarium...
...kissing each other!
Do you deny that?
No further questions.
Your witness, Mr. Bannister.
The State Department refused comment.
Here in San Francisco, the fate of Black Irish OīHara...
...notorious agitator, whose trial for the murder of George Grisby...
...has held the front pages, remains undecided.
The jury, already out seven hours, has still returned no verdict.
The whole Black Irish case, according to...
How long do they take, usually?
Canīt ever tell about a jury.
Excuse me, Your Honor.
The juryīs coming out now.
Oh, thank you, Officer McNaulty.
By the way...
...what has Elsa been telling you?
Or did you imagine that I didnīt know sheīs been coming to see you?
-She asked me to trust you. -But you donīt.
-The jury has reached its verdict. -Why?
Because I know you wanted me to be convicted.
Now that itīs too late to do anything...
...I might as well tell you, this is one case līve enjoyed losing.
līm coming to see you in the death house, Michael. Every day.
Our little visits will be great fun.
līm going to ask for a stay of execution.
I really hope itīll be granted.
I want you to live as long as possible before you die.
Youīre talking kind of tough, arenīt you, Mr. Bannister?
līve got an edge. I know youīre going to the gas chamber.
Donīt be so sure.
I know the killer.
I know who murdered Grisby.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do you have a verdict?
-We, the jury... -Wait a minute!
Poison! Poison pills!
Bring him to my chambers!
Get that doctor!
I talked to the doctor. Said to keep him on his feet.
-We need help. -I canīt hold this crowd by myself.
The way I understand it, heīll be all right if we keep him moving.
-I need help! -lf he sleeps, heīs done for.
Done for? Well!
I need two officers to control the crowd in my courtroom!
līll try and get rid of the reporters.
Youīll do no such thing! līll see them. līll see the reporters myself.
We have to prepare a statement.
Thatīs it, keep him walking.
All right, Mr. Galloway.
No pictures, please!
Stay close together while I escort you out to dinner.
-ltīs him. -What can we do?
We gotta think of something.
Thatīs another jury from another trial across there.
Heīs walking out with them!
The judge hopes you will arrive at a verdict as soon as possible.
That way! Come on.
My goodness! My window! My chessboard.
McNaulty! Officer Fishbein!
I expect a full report from you.
Get off the floor, Officer Fishbein.
-No pictures. -What happened?
That womanīs too nice-looking to have stolen that jewelry.
Jury dutyīs such a responsibility, donīt you think?
You were told not to talk about the case. Donīt let it happen again.
-Why did you do it? -I didnīt. līm not guilty.
Oh, the pills, you mean. The pills.
I saw you begging me to swallow. Begging me with your eyes.
You didnīt mean for me to take them all. I held some back.
I took too many of the pills. līm faint.
And now what?
Donīt you know theyīll catch you?
līve got to find that gun.
Gun? What gun?
The gun that killed Grisby. Itīll prove līm innocent.
Well, I phoned our servant Li.
Weīre trying to arrange something. Someplace to take you.
Just wait here quietly and watch the play.
Put your arms around me.
Donīt you move.
I told you not to move. I mean it.
I found the gun.
You killed Grisby. Yes!
Youīre the killer.
I was right.
She was the killer. She killed Grisby.
Now she was going to kill me.
Li and his friends smuggled me out and hid me where līd be safe from the cops.
Not safe from her.
One of the Chinese worked at an amusement park.
It was closed for the season. An empty amusement park makes a good hideout...
...and she wanted me hidden.
Well, I came to...
...in the crazy house.
And for a while there...
...I thought it was me that was crazy.
After what līd been through, anything crazy at all...
But now I was sane on one subject. Her.
I knew about her.
She planned to kill Bannister.
She and Grisby.
Grisby was to do it for a share of Bannisterīs money.
Thatīs what Grisby thought.
Of course she meant to kill Grisby too, after heīd served his purpose.
Poor howling idiot, he never even did that. He went and shot Broome.
And that was not part of the plan.
Broome might have got to the police before he died.
And if the cops traced it to Grisby and the cops made him talk...
...heīd spill everything...
...and sheīd be finished. So she had to shut up Grisby, but quick.
And I was the fall guy.
In here. Weīre less likely to be heard.
I thought it was your husband you wanted to kill.
Why donīt you try to understand?
George was supposed to take care of Arthur.
But he lost his silly head and shot Broome.
After that, I knew I couldnīt trust him.
He was mad.
He had to be shot.
And what about me?
We could have gone off together.
Into the sunrise.
You and me? Or you and Grisby?
I love you.
One who follows his nature keeps his original nature in the end.
But havenīt you heard ever of something better to follow?
I knew līd find you two together.
If I hadnīt, Elsa, I might have gone on playing it your way.
You didnīt know that...
...but you did plan for me to follow you.
Youīve been drinking.
I presume you think that if you murder me here...
...your sailor friend will get the blame.
Youīll be free to spend my money.
Well, dear, you arenīt the only one who wants me to die.
Our good friend, the district attorney...
...is just itching to open a letter that I left with him.
The letter tells all about you, lover.
So youīd be foolish to fire that gun.
With these mirrors itīs difficult to tell.
You are aiming at me, arenīt you?
līm aiming at you, lover.
Of course, killing you is killing myself.
Itīs the same thing.
But you know, līm pretty tired of both of us.
You know, for a smart girl, you make a lot of mistakes.
You should have let me live.
Youīre gonna need a good lawyer.
He and George...
...and now me!
Like the sharks, mad with their own blood.
Chewing away at their own selves.
I made a lot of mistakes.
You said the worldīs bad and we canīt run away from that.
Youīre right there.
But you said we canīt fight it. We must deal with the badness, make terms.
And then the badness deal with you.
Make its own terms in the end, surely.
You can fight, but what good is it?
You mean we canīt win?
No, we canīt win.
Give my love to the sunrise.
We canīt lose either.
Only if we quit.
And youīre not going to?
Come back here.
I donīt want to die!
I donīt want to die!
I went to call the cops, but I knew sheīd be dead before they got there.
And līd be free.
Bannisterīs note to the D.A. fixed it. līd be innocent, officially.
But thatīs a big word, innocent.
Stupid is more like it.
Well, everybody is somebodyīs fool.
The only way to stay out of trouble is to grow old.
So I guess līll concentrate on that.
Maybe līll live so long...
...that līll forget her.
Maybe līll die trying.