Voila! Finally, the The Last Detail
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Jack Nicholson movie
by Hal Ashby. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of The Last Detail. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Buddusky! Either of you guys seen Buddusky?
M.A.A. Sent me. He wants to see you right away.
Tell M.A.A. To go fuck himself.
He said right away.
Come on, Buddusky. It's your ass if you don't.
Look, maybe your orders came through. Come on, Buddusky.
It's your ass.
Mulhall, the master at arms wants to see you right away.
- I ain't going on no shit detail. - Come on, it's my ass.
I ain't going on no shit detail!
It's your ass too. Maybe your orders came through.
- Tell him you couldn't find me. - He knows where you are.
When you're in transit in the Navy, nobody knows where you are.
Go tell the M.A.A. To fuck himself. I ain't going on no shit detail.
- Morning. - You are one lucky son of a bitch!
- You are one lucky son of a bitch! - Yeah. Where am I going, chief?
How come you're so lucky, Buddusky?
- You're another lucky son of a bitch. - Yeah?
You dudes pulled temporary duty as chasers.
- Where to? - Portsmouth Naval Prison.
- Who are we taking? - A seaman. Used to be.
Meadows, Lawrence M. Drew eight years in the DD.
Jesus, what the hell did he do, kill the old man?
Come on inside. Sweek, get these old boys some coffee.
Who did he kill, chief?
Didn't kill nobody. Robbery.
- How much did he lift? - Forty dollars.
- Forty dollars! - Forty dollars.
- Shit! - You're shitting me.
I wouldn't shit you. You're my favourite turd.
Jesus, eight years in the DD for $ .
- I thought only the Army did that. - Well...
...he tried to lift the polio contribution box.
The polio box is the old man's old lady's favourite do-gooder project.
She's responsible for the polio contributions on the base.
Every year, they give her a plaque. Meadows comes and fucks over charity.
She took it very seriously.
- Jesus! - Eight years, that's very seriously.
- Know what I mean? - Well, good duty for you guys.
You get to go to Washington, New York...
...Boston. I'd trade places with you.
...we could get this guy to Portsmouth in two days or less.
They'll give us a week. Know what I mean?
So what? They won't give us a week to get back.
Bullshit. Besides, they gotta give us all that green, regardless.
Money for you, for me and for him.
Now we run this shit-bird's ass all the way to the brig...
...save his per diem and ours, split it and spend it on the way home.
- Well, let's shag ass! - You're goddamn right!
Buddusky, you're the honcho. A driver outside will take you to the bus.
Here's the keys to the cuffs. Each of you gets one key.
You both sign these chits for the pieces.
There's one clip each. Here's something off the record:
The old man has a personal interest in this case, so don't fuck up.
Are you all set, Cochise?
On your feet. These guys are taking you to Portsmouth.
Petty Officer Buddusky. Petty Officer Mulhall.
- You know why they're chasers? - "Chasers," sir?
- Do you know why they're taking you? - No, sir.
Because they're mean bastards when they want to be!
They aren't about to take any shit from a pussy like you.
- Yes, sir. - What?!
All right, he's all yours.
- It's cold, ain't it? - Coffee?
Let's make it.
- Do you have to go to the head? - No, sir.
Be sure now. Because from now on, one of us will have to go with you.
I'm not gonna kill myself.
I don't think so, but you know how it is, Meadows.
Yes, but I don't need to use the head anyway.
Well, let's go.
Kill himself, huh?
Back of the bus.
- Meadows? - Yes, sir.
I'm removing your handcuffs.
The Navy feels on certain kinds of vehicle transport...
...the prisoner shall have the use of his hands in case of an accident.
- Ain't that right, Mulhand? - That's right.
- Where did you get that candy bar? - I had it with me.
Okay, sailor. I wasn't accusing you of nothing.
- I had them with me. - Man, I ain't said a word.
Take it easy, Meadows, you're making Mulhouse hungry.
- Meadows, you want anything? - No, sir.
Let me have that. No, wait. Give me this.
You need a little help with that?
Thank you, young man.
- Heading north, Mulehall. - Yeah, man, heading north.
My old stomping grounds. Where are you from, Mulehouse?
Hey, man, it's "Mulhall."
- Where are you from, Mulhall? - Bogalusa.
- Where's that? - Above New Orleans.
- Hot down there, ain't it? - Yeah.
Listen, man, call me "Mule." Everybody else does.
- "Mule," okay? - Sure.
- "Mule." - Yes, sir.
They always used to have trouble with my name too.
Always wanting to call me "Badass."
I am the badass. Badass!
Is that true what the chief said? You're getting...
...eight years and a dishonourable discharge for stealing $ ?
- I didn't get no $ . - You didn't get it?
No. They caught me while I was lifting it from the box. I didn't get it.
Eight years in a DD for $ and you didn't even get it?
- They really stuck it to him, Mule! - They sure as hell did!
- They really stuck it to you, kid. - Yes, sir.
Stick it in and break it off!
Up your giggy with a wawa brush and break it off.
- Leave the kid alone. - I ain't bothering him.
- Am I bothering you? - No, sir.
I ain't bothering him, man.
Just trying to be helpful.
So tell me, how are you gonna help him?
Meadows, I want to ask you a few questions. You don't have to answer.
- But maybe I can help you. - Shit.
Now before this polio thing, did you have a record?
Not with the Navy. I got in trouble a couple times with the cops...
...before I enlisted.
I see. Well...
Was it in the nature of a serious offense?
Was it in the nature of a felony, or a misdemeanour?
It was in the nature of shoplifting.
But I never was in jail if that's what you mean.
You know, Meadows, this eight years...
...it ain't necessarily eight years.
- It isn't? - No, it isn't.
They're gonna knock two years off for good behaviour.
- So that's six years, right there. - Really?
Well, it's something, ain't it?
At least we got a long train ride.
Man, I sure love trains.
Yeah, it beats the shit out of sitting up in Shit City, don't it?
- He didn't have those with him. - No, he didn't.
Why don't you take your coat off?
Goddamn it! Halt, Meadows!
- I got him. - Fucking asshole!
Let me go! Let me go!
I got him.
Don't you fucking move!
I'm sorry for stealing the money.
I swear I didn't want it.
I'm always stealing junk I don't need.
It's all right, Meadows. Come on, be a man.
Bottles of hair tonic. Model cars.
I couldn't even build a model car.
Just crap, you know.
I had money on the boat, you could ask anybody.
But it's gone now, because you got to forfeit your pay and everything.
- But I had money. - It's okay, man.
- It's okay. - It's not okay.
The kid's crazy.
He ought to see a fucking psychiatrist.
What about now, man? We got a nut on our hands right now.
Maybe we ought to take him off the train at Washington.
Walk him around a bit till he gets cooled off.
He's a fucking mess.
The last train takes off at : . Plenty of time for some good chow.
- Where do you want to eat, Meadows? - I don't know.
- What do you think? - It looks good.
- What do you think, Meadows? - It's fine.
Think they'll melt the cheese on the burgers? I like it melted.
It'd be nice if they had a booth. You see a booth, Mule?
- It's crowded. - Fuck the crowd, I'm hungry.
- Yeah, maybe the next place? - We're gonna miss our train.
We'll miss it!
Who gives a shit if we miss the train? We got five days. Come on!
Meadows, is your word worth anything?
- Sure, it's as good as the next guy's. - The next guy is a prick!
What I mean is, Meadows...
...you aren't gonna try and run away while we're here?
Can you not jump up and bang into people and embarrass us?
- And not steal anything? - No, sir.
Damn it! Hold still, Meadows, you son of a bitch.
- Cheese melted enough for you? - Sure.
It ain't melted. Send it back.
- It's all right. - Send it back, you're paying for it!
- It's all right. - Have it the way you want it. Waiter?
Melt the cheese on this for the chief, would you? Thank you.
See, Meadows? It's just as easy...
...to have it the way you want it.
Hey! Where is these malts at?
- See what I mean, Meadows? - It's good.
- We'd better catch that train. - We still got time for a beer.
Wait a minute, man.
- I ain't old enough. - Ain't old enough for what?
- For a beer. - Everybody's old enough for a beer.
- Ain't that right, Mule? - Yeah.
- Well, I'm not. - I know a place. Nice and quiet.
Eight years in the DD, at least we can buy the kid a beer.
Thirty cents of beer in a glass. The same for my mates.
Ed's not here no more. Show your I.D.s.
- How come? - Because this kid ain't old enough.
Listen yourself. The law says I have to serve him.
You take your beers and ram them up your ass sideways.
- Can you dig it? - Whoa, there, sunshine.
We're going. So take your hand off that horse-cock stashed under the bar.
I could have something with a little more bark.
The redneck is talking about firearms. Well, I know you ain't got nothing.
I was here when a sailor got it laid up the side of his head.
What do you think about that, redneck?
The boss would lose his license if I serve him.
- I'm gonna kick your ass for drill. - I'll call the shore patrol.
I am the motherfucking shore patrol, motherfucker!
- Give him a beer! - I don't want it.
- You'll have a fucking beer! - Come on!
- I don't feel like one right now. - Badass, come on!
Come on, let's go. Come on, man!
- Man, you are a badass. - I am a badass, ain't I?
- What? - You're a badass.
- What? - A badass!
- What?! - A badass!
And you ain't leaving D.C. Till you got a bellyful of beer!
Did you see that cracker asshole? "The law says I gotta serve him."
Almost had a heart attack.
- Scared the shit out of him. - He was ready to go!
He was gone!
I'd like to drink a toast to Batman, Superman...
...and the Human Torch.
- What's a Human Torch? - He's a pure-white southern boy.
The Human Torch, when he goes like this:
He throws a ball of flames off on you and the fucking building goes up.
And he had a littler guy who flies around with him.
The best goddamn drink in the world, isn't it?
Maybe we can sneak it on the train and finish it off there.
The train left minutes ago.
- The train left minutes ago. - That's nice, that's fucking nice.
For chrissake, give me a break. We got five days.
We're on per diem.
I say what we do is check in to a hotel.
Hoist up a few more, have a good night's sleep.
Tomorrow, we get on the train.
- Sunday. - Okay.
What the fuck are you laughing at?
I'm laughing at that silly son of a bitch over there.
- Let's get ourselves into a hotel. - I gotta go to the bathroom.
A wonderful idea.
Prisoner, on your feet.
- Ain't this the life, Mule? - It sure beats freezing in the alley!
It beats the hell out of being back in Shit City too.
I bet it even beats being at Portsmouth too.
You know, kid, you've got a hell of a knack for killing a conversation.
Just imagine that your hands are the hands of a clock.
"A" is to .
"B," a quarter to .
"C," to .
"D" is straight up : .
Come on, man, we're watching the movie.
- Meadows, you want to be a signalman? - After the movie, man.
I always tell a new semaphore guy this...
...so I'm sure you send a more perfect semaphore. Ready?
I don't expect you to get it perfect. It requires a lot of manual dexterity.
Very good, Meadows. Very good indeed.
You must have a flair for this sort of thing.
Some people do.
I do, for instance. I have a flair for this sort of thing.
We got it.
We fucking got it, boys.
Here it is.
The truck that... Very nice catch! The truck that made your mama's son.
Fucking Jesus H. Christ!
Do you guys mind if I say something?
That guy at the bar, why did you get so mad at him?
I don't blame him not giving me a beer.
Don't you never get mad at nobody?
- Sure, I do. - Who do you get mad at?
Not at somebody who's doing his job.
- Injustice. - Bullshit!
You never get mad at nobody. You're a pussy.
I do, too, get mad.
Did you get mad at the old man for what he did to you?
- He was just... - Doing his job.
Hey. They're gonna take eight years out of your life.
You said six years.
What the fuck difference does it make? You don't even care about it.
Come on, man, that don't help him.
Fuck help. I mean, fuck fair. Fuck injustice.
Don't you ever just wanna stomp on someone...
...just to do it? Just to get it out of your system?
I do remember something I got mad at.
Something when I was in the brig, a Marine did.
- What happened? Grunts beat you up? - Yeah.
But that didn't get me mad.
Goddamn it! What did get you mad?
This Marine guard...
...he asked me if I believed in Jesus Christ.
I said yeah. And he said...
...that from now on, he was Jesus Christ, I shouldn't forget it.
What did you do? Did you hit him?
Can you imagine that? That's awful.
Did you coldcock him?
He'd better hope the chaplain don't catch him at that.
Most chaplains I know, they wanna stand on the bridge...
...with the old man looking through aviator sunglasses.
...it takes a lot of dedication to be a chaplain.
It don't take diddly-shit, man!
Come on, take a fucking poke at me.
- Take a poke at me. Come on. - What for?
I'll punch you.
- Punch me out, you little prick! - Why?
- He ain't gonna punch you. - Badass, I like you.
I like you.
I'm taking you to jail, motherfucker.
That ain't your fault.
Come on, Mule, goddamn it.
You think the grunts will care? You'll be fighting fucking grunts.
Would you teach me the hand signals?
I don't give a shit.
...my friend was looking for me.
I was up on top of his car and pissed on his head.
Just being crazy, you know what I mean?
Don't you get crazy with me!
I think I'm gonna be sick again.
How are we gonna work this out?
Work what out?
Who gets what bed?
What the fuck difference does it make?
I can't take this shit indefinitely, man.
Somebody's gotta make a decision.
There you go.
...rank has its privileges.
I can't do shit here.
We get off the train at Philly and take a bus to Camden.
What's the matter with that? It's a couple of hours.
He didn't ask to see his mother.
He wouldn't ask to go to the head if he had the runs.
He gets to see his mother.
- How do we know she's home? - It's Sunday.
What's that supposed to mean?
You want to go and see your mother?
I don't want to get you guys in trouble.
You been so good to me already.
Shit...! Let's go and see your mother.
Don't worry about it, Mule.
That's Calvin Coolidge Junior High. I went there.
- Where's your old man, Meadows? - Seattle. Seattle, Washington.
I know where it is. What's he doing there?
I think he works in a hardware store. He's married...
...not to my mother, but to somebody else.
I think I have a half sister.
I graduated from there.
I wonder if she still teaches there.
She made me want to be a veterinarian.
You wanna check next door or anything?
- Does your mom have any friends here? - Mrs. Esposito.
- Maybe she's over there. - No, her car's gone.
Well, what do you want to do?
You want to wait around a little? We'll wait around.
I'll go check with Mrs. Esposito.
- Your legs really bother you? - Sometimes.
You ought to take vitamins. No, seriously, man.
Go to the dispensary.
- What's wrong? - We let him go. He could get away.
- That kid ain't going nowhere. - What makes you so sure?
You know him.
Then where is he? Where is he?
Don't get your balls in an uproar. He ain't going nowhere without us.
Let me tell you something about a kid like Meadows.
He's the kind, he's going to the brig, and secretly he's probably glad.
On the outside too many bad things can happen to him.
This way, the worst has already happened. He's probably glad.
If you're wrong, you'd better be quick, 'cause I ain't.
- She went for the day. - Sunday.
- Want to go in and wait for a while? - What for?
- Well, she might come home early. - No. No, thanks.
You could sit in your own house. Maybe we can get in.
I don't know what I would have said to her anyway.
You know what Meadows should do?
Get his mom to write to her congressman.
Shit. His mother could write letters till she owns the post office.
It don't mean shit. Either we let him go or he lives with it.
And we ain't about to let him go. Understand?
- Now look what you made him do. - What I made him do?
- Where are you going? - To the head, okay?
If that don't make you just want to shit in your flat hat.
Look what you... I hope you're satisfied.
Well, you took him to see his mother!
I hate this detail. I hate this fucking chickenshit detail!
I love the fucking detail, I suppose.
What the fuck am I supposed to do? I was just trying to...
Open up. Are you all right?
You all right?
I consider myself in jeopardy with you. Understand? In jeopardy.
This ain't no farewell party, and he ain't retiring.
He's a prisoner, and we're taking him to the jailhouse.
You're a menace, man. A motherfucking menace.
M.A.A. Can piss up a rope. You ain't no honcho.
No more turning this boy's head around...
...to prove what a big man you are.
The Navy is the best thing that ever happened to me.
I don't want you to fuck me up. You understand?
- I hear you. - Well, do you agree?
I just wanted to show the kid a good time.
He can't have a good time. It ain't in him.
He had a good time in Washington.
You think that'll make it easier to pull his eight years?
It won't. It'll make it harder.
We go this way.
The Boston train leaves in two hours. We don't leave the building till then.
You got a quarter?
Where you going?
To the head.
Sailor looks like he's lost something.
Probably has trouble finding it with those buttons.
If I was a Marine, I wouldn't have to fuck with no buttons.
I'd just take my hat off.
- I call karate! - I call you a motherfucker!
Let's get out!
Did your nose bleed, kid?
He fought like a champ, didn't he, Mule?
That was great. It was great, wasn't it?
Give me a little of this. Because they call me shine in here.
I got your greatness.
Over here they've got the world's finest Italian-sausage sandwiches.
And I'm buying.
Goddamn. I ask you, man.
Where else in the world can you get a sandwich like this?
Huh? And for cents.
I never ate anything so good. I ain't shitting you.
I'm gonna have to have another one.
- I'd like a little more onion. - Here.
How about some of these? You got it.
We gotta figure out what we're gonna do.
And we will. We will.
Only we'll do it over a bottle of Heineken's.
- What's Heineken's? - It's the finest beer in the world.
President Kennedy used to drink it.
We gotta get him out of here. He's betting with our travel money.
- He's losing too. - Yeah.
- All right. You and me, one-on-one. - Easy money.
- Here's to you. - Cheers.
- Do you want the honours? - Go ahead.
Don't worry about a thing. I'm hustling this guy.
- I've got him where I want him. - Maybe he's hustling you.
Maybe he is. But this is not the time to argue about it.
If I don't win, we don't leave New York.
Fourteen years. Fourteen motherfucking years.
The man's gonna hustle me with glasses.
Fifty-four... Sixty-one... Sixty-three dollars.
- That's $ apiece. - Apiece?
- We're partners, ain't we? - Yeah, Badass.
Then take your fucking bucks and don't give me such a hard time.
That was damn good, kid. You ought to put in for signalman.
I don't know. I hear it too.
What the hell is an "Indiana dog"?
That's the damnedest thing I ever heard.
Let's go take a look.
What the hell? Eight years in the DD.
What are we gonna do?
Take off your shoes.
Must be one of them Jap joints where we gotta take off our shoes.
What are they saying?
Hold it down. I think we're in church.
- Good evening. - Good evening.
Welcome to a Nichiren Shoshu meeting.
Tonight hundreds of people are learning about...
...Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and the Gohonzon.
- What's a Gohonzon? - I'll tell you about it later.
We'll be sharing our experiences. Who's had an experience?
- Good evening! - Good evening!
When I first started chanting, I wanted to really find a girl.
She took me to a meeting like this. I thought the people were crazy.
But afterwards we went to her home, and I tried Gohonzon.
- Come on, what's a Gohonzon? - I'll tell you later.
Now I love the clarinet. I can't remember why I ever wanted a flute.
Why does all this make me feel so fucking bad?
Jesus, huh? A bunch of candy-asses.
Ever hear such horseshit?
That one guy was a big homo.
Yeah, but, you guys, he sure was a happy homo.
If you're gonna chant, let's figure out what you're gonna chant for.
How about I get sprung from Portsmouth?
Let's see if it works, then you can chant for something really big.
Yeah, like how about the three of us get laid?
- Should you chant for that? - Why not?
Well, it's a religion.
You're too good to believe.
Yodelling in the canyon.
Ever heard of it?
- Ever done that before? - Not exactly, no.
Were they really doing that when they took that picture?
There's more things in this life than you can possibly imagine.
I knew a whore once in Wilmington.
She had a glass eye.
She used to take it out and wink people off for a dollar.
There's still some room for your rank. Do you want it?
No, I don't think so.
Yeah, come on, kid. It's time you made your rate.
They're busting me down to one.
Listen, right now we're a navy of three.
I can make you anything I want to because I'm the honcho.
What'll it be? Huh?
L. Meadows, SMC.
Show me some moves, kid!
He don't know what to do. He don't know!
He looks like a goddamn big penguin, don't he?
Watch out for children!
Cruise right through them! Give them the spinner, kid!
- He sure is having a good time. - And you said it wasn't in him.
Watch out for the Indian, kid.
Don't crush somebody.
Look at the size of this guy on roller skates.
That was wonderfully done.
I chanted to stay on my feet and I did. It worked!
Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, nam-myoho-renge- kyo...
Lighten up, will you, Meadows? Jesus.
I'm a member of Nichiren Shoshu. My name's Donna. How do you do?
What are you chanting for?
Go ahead, Meadows, tell her what you're chanting for.
That's okay, you can chant for anything.
- What's your name? - Meadows.
- Your first name. - Larry.
"Larry." Larry, why don't you come over and meet some people?
I'll introduce you. Just for a minute. Come on.
We'll be right back.
If this guy gets pussy out of this, I'll eat my fucking flat hat.
Yeah, and I'm gonna start chanting too.
- Guys? - Yeah?
Drop your socks and grab your cocks, we're going to a party.
This could be the big one, Meadows.
- You just moved in? - Yes, but I might move out again.
- It's a problem finding a place. - This is a nice party.
Might as well be at a fucking bus stop.
- Relax. - I am relaxed.
Hey, I'm telling you, we got it made.
Get rid of that silly-looking creep, and we've got the chicks to ourselves.
- We have, huh? - Yeah, why not?
Those three chicks would rather fuck each other than come near us.
...like being on the sea.
Even in the Navy.
Being on the bridge.
- Doing a man's job. - Sounds great.
Where you going?
I'm not putting down the whole fucking government.
There's gotta be one thing you don't like about Nixon.
You sure have a lot of records.
Yeah, I get most of them free. I work in the business.
I smoked grass. I smoked grass, Badass.
I'm giving this girl such a line of horseshit, it is unbelievable.
- Yeah. - She loves it. She loves it!
Doing a man's job.
Across miles and miles...
...of liquid real estate.
How come you don't see more black officers?
You got to have a white man's recommendation, usually.
So nothing that Nixon says disturbs you?
You're driving me crazy.
- You guys on leave, or what? - Liberty, you mean.
Well, what are you guys doing, anyway?
They're taking me to jail.
I've seen things. Seen men do things...
...that I wouldn't begin to tell you at a time like this, my fair darling.
- I can see what it's done for you. - Can you? Wonderful.
Must be the uniform.
- They are cute, aren't they? - Oh, yeah.
You know what I like about it?
My favourite thing about this uniform is the way it makes your dick look.
How did you feel about going to Vietnam?
The man says go. We gotta do what the man says.
We're living in this man's world, ain't we?
I get two off...
...so it's only six.
Why don't you get away?
I've got this friend. George Lucido.
He shakubukued me. He's a group chief in Toronto.
I'll give you his number.
- I couldn't. - Why not?
It would be their ass.
What do you owe them?
They're my best friends, Donna.
- Where are we going? - Come on.
It's up to you.
But I'm gonna chant for you.
I'm gonna chant for you with my whole heart.
That you get away.
What the fuck is it now, Meadows?
If you're Catholic, is it sacrilegious to chant?
- Did it get you laid? - No.
Then Meadows, what the fuck do you want to go on chanting for?
Chant your ass off, but any pussy you get in this world...
...you're gonna have to pay for, one way or another.
When do we get to Boston?
- When do we have to be in Portsmouth? - Not after tomorrow.
What do you think?
We ought to get the kid laid.
Ever heard of it?
- Waiter. - Yes, sir?
I asked for my eggs over easy.
- They are over easy, sir. - No, they're not.
I'm learning. I'm learning.
You're figuring on taking the kid to a cathouse, ain't you?
Come on, he's years old. He ain't never been fucked.
The next chance he gets, he's gonna be .
Yeah, he might not want any by then.
- You mean like right now, just do it? - No, not this exact minute.
Later on tonight.
I think I would.
- Yeah, get the old ashes hauled. - Ashes hauled?
- What are we doing? - Huh?
...a certain guy. Wait.
Here, here, here. Hey! Hey!
- How they treating you, partner? - Fine, sailor, where to?
Just down the road.
Let me tell you what we really want. I think I can trust you.
We're in transit, the three of us, see?
We could really use the services of a decent whorehouse.
One that don't hate Gls.
- A sizable tip in it. - Save it. I get it at the other end.
- Thanks a lot. - I've been in transit a few times too.
- I'm an old minesweep sailor. - Yeah?
You're a swabbie? I thought you was.
I thought he was. Minesweep, eh?
Hello, boys. I'm Millie.
Come on in. The Navy is always welcome here.
Too late for "Captain Kangaroo," ladies?
We've got a friend here we'd like to do a favour for. He's going on a trip.
- It's just him? - Just him.
What kind of party are you after?
Well, it's his party. You name it, sailor.
Okay, sailor, take your pick.
Pick a winner, kid.
Make it a good one, hon. It's gotta last a long time.
- Sure, anything you say. - You know what I mean?
Kid, you picked a real winner.
You boys just make yourselves comfortable.
He picked the same one I would have. She's a cute little thing, ain't she?
Your coat, honey.
Come on over here by the sink, honey. Let me check you out.
Well, you're not gonna have a bit of trouble.
That's what I call quick.
Those are the rules. Doesn't matter if it's hours or seconds.
Okay, we'll stake him to another shot.
You wanna try it again, kid?
Don't worry about it. Plenty more where that came from.
You got all night, kid.
You ever been married?
Not so you'd notice.
A little girl in Torrance. You know where that is?
It's near San Pedro, on the way to Terminal Island, you know?
She had great tits and wore angora sweaters all the time.
She wanted me to go to trade school and become a TV repairman.
Drive around in all that smog and shit, fixing TVs out of a VW bus.
I just couldn't do it.
- You ever been married? - No, I still support my mama.
She can't brag enough about me.
Tells everybody all the places I go, how many men are under me.
- Yeah, man. - Gloria.
I don't know what I would have done without the Navy.
I guess we're just a couple of lifers.
How was what, honey?
You got off to a shaky start.
After that you took to it like a duck to water.
I don't know if I have enough money to go again.
But I'll pay you what I have...
...just to look at you.
Just to what?
Look at you.
Guess you haven't seen many girls with their clothes off, have you?
Well, let me tell you, I've got a good body.
Not great, but pretty good.
- What'd she say again? - "Let me check you out, honey."
Like I was in a gas station, and she was checking the oil.
- And then... - Then we know what happened.
Yeah, but after.
Maybe it was an act for her.
I mean, I know she was a whore, but I think she liked me.
They got feelings just like everybody else, kid. She probably did.
Well, it was real for me and that's what counts.
- Huh? - Yeah.
Welcome to the wonderful world of pussy, kid. The sink's yours.
We don't have to be there until hours.
It's an hour and a half to Portsmouth.
We could go see a movie or two.
We could get a couple of six-packs.
Shit man, we could even go back to the cathouse, if you want to.
I already did everything one time.
And that makes that one time stick out. You know what I mean?
- It sure is a shit day. - Yeah, it is.
If it was summer, we could have a picnic.
Son of a bitch.
This wood's too fucking green. It ain't going to burn.
- Wait a minute. - Wait a minute.
- What are you looking for? - Buns.
- I forgot them. - You forgot the buns?
- A hot dog is not a hot dog without... - Don't eat the fucking thing, then.
It ain't bad.
- I don't want no fucking hot dog. - He don't eat them without a bun.
Kind of like being at sea.
I was on a weather ship, once, off of Greenland.
- Right in the middle of winter. - How was it?
I like being at sea.
The kid's come a long way in the last few days, ain't he?
Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, nam-myoho-renge- kyo...
Let's get this over with.
Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, nam-myoho-renge- kyo.
He don't stand a chance in Portsmouth, you know.
You know that, don't you?
Goddamn grunts kicking the shit out of him for eight years.
He don't stand a chance.
I don't want to hear about it.
Maggot this and maggot that.
Marines are really assholes, you know that?
It takes a certain kind of a sadistic temperament to be a Marine.
What the fuck's he doing?
What's he doing?
Bravo-Yankee. Bravo-Yankee. Bye-bye.
End of... Hey this son of a bitch is running away. Meadows!
Halt! You son of a bitch! Meadows!
- Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, nam-myoho... - Meadows!
Meadows, you son of a bitch!
- Nam-myoho-renge-kyo... - Halt you motherfucker!
- Buddusky, don't! - Halt, Meadows.
I lost my fucking shoe. Meadows! Meadows!
You son of a bitch.
Son of a bitch!
- Buddusky, don't! - Shut up!
Please, let me go!
I lost my fucking shoe.
Baker, Mooney, prisoner from Norfolk. On the double.
Where did you get the idea that you were entitled to abuse a prisoner?
They teach you that in the Navy? Or was that your idea of a good time?
- I guess. - You guess what, sailor?
- Nothing. - Nothing?
- Did the prisoner offer resistance? - No, sir.
Did he try to escape?
That's a little vague. Either he did or he didn't. Which is it?
You don't have to look at him for the answer. Which is it?
- He didn't. - He didn't what?
He didn't try to escape.
He didn't try to escape, sir.
He didn't try to escape, sir.
- You haven't left yet. - Sir?
Your orders weren't endorsed, so you're still in Norfolk.
We're standing here.
- It's not our fault. - Yes, but you haven't left yet.
It's not our fault!
- Sir, we've both got a lot of time in. - What's that supposed to mean?
Too much time to be hardass because a dude forgot to endorse our orders.
- You're asking for trouble, sailor. - I'm asking to see the X O.
We ain't about to say anything else until we see the X O.
Now get the hell out of here.
You're supposed to pull a few copies.
Goddamn grunts! They think they can get away with anything.
Telling me how to do my job.
I know my goddamn job better than anybody else in the goddamn Navy!
We told that son of a bitch! Trying to ream our ass all over!
He don't have even the sense to pull a few copies!
Bunch of candy-asses!
I hate this motherfucking chickenshit detail.
Where are you going?
- Norfolk. - I mean now.
I don't know. Stop off in Baltimore maybe. You?
Back to New York, I guess.
See you in Norfolk.
Yeah. Maybe our fucking orders have come through.