Voila! Finally, the Laundry
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Junichi Mori movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Laundry. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
My name is Teru
It's actually Teruo,
but ev eryone calls me Teru
I work at a coin laundry
I make sure no one steals any laundry
Grandma owns the place
But recently she's been worrying...
about bad people stealing
women's underwear
So she gav e me this job
I hav e a scar on my head
When I was a kid, I fell in a manhole
People say I hav e a scar on my brain,
too
I'm opening shop again today
It's my first task ev eryday
I always forget where I put my keys
Grandma says I should hang it
on a string from my neck
But I won't do it
Only kids hang keys from their necks
"Ooin Laundry"
Good
My eyes are always peeled
I'm a patrol officer protecting the city
Big gas tanks...
I get a bit scared seeing gas tanks
They get bigger little by little,
ev eryday
They'll swell up like big balloons,
and ex plode one day
Ev eryone will be blown to bits and die
Hello
God, my chest hurts
Must'v e been last night's dinner...
This old man comes ev eryday
He comes to wash just one tank top
and a pair of underwear
He liv es with his son
and daughter-in-law
but she won't wash them for him
because they're filthy
People like that...
deserv e to get sucked up
by a v acuum cleaner
Thing about tulips is...
the petals start to sag
like this during the day...
This lady lov es photography
Ev ery time she comes,
she brings photos she took recently
She took those, too
I said nice things about them,
and she brought them back framed
So I stopped saying nice things
about them
Oan't hav e her
putting up any more pictures
And I feel like an insect
looking at so many flowers
This guy's a box er. He has a match today
Hello
Hey man! Keepin' a close watch?
Yeah
Oheck it out! He's stealing something
Just kidding, man
Scared me
I did ev erything I could...
I can win this time
I'm feeling so good,
I'm surprising myself, ev en
All right
I think he'll win, too
I mean, he's already lost times
And this lady...
I'v e nev er seen before
You forgot this
Oh...
Say...
Wanna come in for tea?
What do you do there?
At the coin laundry?
Right
I make sure no one steals any laundry
Lots of underwear thiev es around
I see
Stealing is a bad thing
You're right
How old are you?
Don't look it
Figured you were younger
I'm
Oute hat
Grandma made it
I'd get spasms if I went outside
without a hat
Are you sick?
Not sick
Just a scar on my head
from falling in a manhole
You fell in a manhole?
Grandma said so.
I don't really remember it
I see...
So you liv e with your grandma
Just me and grandma
Alone?
Me?
Yup, always alone. It's a relief
...most of the time
Sorry, this is all I hav e
Here
I need to go. I hav e work
What's the hurry?
I'll pour some more tea
But I hav e work
I'm going now
Please
Just stay minutes?
OK
Thanks
For minutes, she didn't say a word
My heart was beating a bit faster
It was my first time
touching a woman's hand...
other than grandma's
That night, I casually told grandma
about what happened
Very casually
Grandma called her a minx
I'm a loser!
I'm a goddamn loser!
What on earth are you doing?
Oome out man, c'mon
What's his problem?
Open up, man
What the...?
Hey, open up, come out...!
Sorry, ex cuse me, do you mind
getting out of the way for a sec?
Hey, let's go already
O'mon
Fine, fine
Hey
Was that an ambulance?
Wonder if someone got sick?
Or maybe a suicide?
I rode one yesterday
Really?
Pathetic, huh?
Knocked out in rounds...
But you know, I was so close
I n the first half, I was the aggressor
Oouldn't believ e
how many punches I landed
I just kept backing him into the corner
He was totally on the defensiv e
Must'v e landed at least in a row
for sure
That wasn't my best shot, though
It's the left uppercut, man
I nail the body,
then the guard comes down
So from this angle here,
about degrees,
from the hip here,
I go straight for his chin...
See? His guard comes down,
so I go from the hip here
and extend straight at his chin
So I popped him right on the chin!
His knee started buckling,
and I just went off on him!
dodge, and a hook...
Say, are ambulances fast?
Mind if I stay a bit longer?
Go ahead
Sorry, man
I thought about what grandma used to say
Things work out for some people
and they don't for others
And then I remembered the minx
She looked so sad then
The minx is here
Say...
Will you come with me
when I'm done with this load?
Where?
Walk me to the bus station
No?
OK
Actually, I'm going back to my hometown
How come?
Mind if we take a detour?
OK
You don't say much, do you?
I don't?
But I know, people who don't say much
are actually saying lots inside
To tell the truth,
I'm not much of a talker myself
But I don't think it's a good thing
All it does is distance people
Right
Know what I mean?
Kind of
I'm going to change
Watch out for the puddle
Say...
Do you think
I can jump ov er this puddle?
No way
Just imagine it
It's a deep gorge
If I fall, I won't come back
I'd die
I magine it?
No
Please
If I make it ov er this gorge,
I get to be in a whole other world
I magine it?
Yup
Great
I'm gonna make it
Ready...
Go!
I did it! I did it! I made it!
I made it! I did it!
I did it! I did it! I did it!
What'd you do?
It's nothing
Just a scratch
OK, I can go home alone now
Good-bye
A long time ago,
I used to think the gas tanks
were always getting bigger
Thanks
No one came, man
The minx forgot something again
That's why I opposed it from the start
Paint her nails, dye her hair,
Like you can just dye anything...
My eyes are peeled again today
I'm a patrol officer,
protecting the world from bad people.
Pretty, huh?
The pansies came out so nice
But my eyes start hurting
if I keep them peeled too long
They get tired.
So I closed my eyes like this sometimes
I feel better with my eyes closed
since I don't hav e to see anything
I'll go do some grocery shopping first
Dirty ev erything, leav e things scattered
all ov er the place...
You ex pect people to liv e in that?
"Property for sale"
People like that...
deserv e to get sucked up
by a v acuum cleaner
My name is Mizue...
a name I'm not too fond of
I'm home
Good to see you, tired?
No, not really
You'll hav e to share the room
with your sister for now
Sorry about that
No problem
Mizue, you're not hungry yet, right?
I'll cook tonight
But you must be tired
I'm fine, really
I used to hav e a dream
Hello
Hello
One day, I'd leav e this town
and work at a flower shop in Tokyo
That's it, that's all I wanted
When I turned
I finally started liv ing
by myself in Tokyo
Mizue
Yes?
I'm going to the bank
Thank you
And I fell in lov e
He came to the shop
just as we were closing,
and asked to hav e flowers
deliv ered that day
He kept begging me,
saying it was for a woman he lov ed
I gav e in to his eagerness
and reluctantly accepted
He wrote the woman's name on a paper
and handed it to me
The name he wrote was
Yamada Mizue... me
He lov ed to flatter me,
and said I looked like Audrey Hepburn
I didn't know who Audrey Hepburn was,
so I rented a v ideo with her in it
It was called "Always"
She was a v ery elegant... old lady
We were so happy together
Always meeting at the same place,
chatting about silly things
And time just seemed to fly
On my birthday
I waited for him at the usual place
Starting in the afternoon,
I waited for hours, alone
Hello?
I can't go
How come?
You see, a baby...
Sorry, one more time...
A baby was born
Wow, whose?
I hav e a wife
Hello?
Hello...
For some reasons, I found myself
standing alone in a jewelry store
Mmm, it's good
Is it?
Nev er seen anyone put broccoli in curry
Really? A lot of people do it
Maybe in Tokyo
Nothing to do with Tokyo!
O'mon, it's pretty good, huh?
Nothing special
From that moment,
I started stealing like I was possessed
And then I would toss them
in the mail box
Sorry for taking the bed
I really don't mind
sleeping on the floor...
Say, are you into any boys?
No
I see
Good night
How long is sis staying here?
For a long time
I'm embarrassed. Ev eryone asks about her
Don't say that
Think about me, too.
You'll hav e to be a bit more tolerant
Why should I hav e to tolerate?
It's sis's fault
We can't help it. She's not normal
No need to be uptight.
We're all practically friends here
I'm looking forward to it
Honestly, we won't be able to pay much
but I think you'll get a certain joy
from working here
Yes
They'll be glad to hav e you
Why don't you start tomorrow afternoon?
Yes
We hav e so many old folks,
it'd be nice to hav e someone young
Thank you v ery much
Don't worry,
these folks won't mind that at all
Doesn't that four-eyed freak
in math tick you off?
Let's go to a karaoke
Yeah, let's sing!
Oan I help you find something?
Something comfortable
Well, then, this one here
has some low heels
so it should feel nice
or this one here...
Ex cuse me
Yes?
What do normal girls wear?
I'm sorry... for embarrassing you
I'm going to start working tomorrow
I'll be making auto parts at Yasuda's
Wiring for engines and brakes
Once I start getting my paychecks,
I'll rent a room
So just be patient for a short while,
OK? I do feel bad
Not that I want to work there
Oh, but don't tell mom
Keanu Reev es is cute, isn't he?
I like him, too
Good night
Actually, I am
Huh?
I nto a boy
Really? Going steady with him?
No
Told him how you feel?
No
How come?
I'm embarrassed
Is he cute?
No, he has a weird face
A weird face?
A really weird face.
Ev eryone calls him a camel
A camel?
Right, a camel
A camel, huh...
Sorry
So funny! A camel...!
I'll be going
Hav e a good day.
Thank you
So what do you do?
I made sure no one stole clothes
at the coin laundry
I mean your job
It is my job
That's not a job
It is
You're lying
I'm not lying. Grandma owned the place
Sound like a hell of a boring job
It's not there anymore, though
Grandma says she was tricked
She looked real sad
The entire place was taken away, huh?
Ev erything?
But there was one thing left behind
Something a customer forgot
It's not ours
Well, sure
So that's what I'm going to go deliv er
That thing left behind?
The sea?
It's the sea, so what?
Oan I open the window?
So who's this chick?
Her name's Mizue
No, I mean, what's she to you?
A customer?
But she isn't just another customer,
right?
I'm asking if you like this woman
Don't understand?
Think about it.
Who the hell would hitchhike...
Just to deliv er a dress someone forgot?
All this way
Is that normal?
Is it?
No, right?
Of course it isn't
Right?
Yeah
It's lov e
That's what we call lov e
I don't know about Mars,
but on Earth at least,
we call it lov e, remember that
What're you writing?
So I won't forget
Well, it's nothing to write about...
Don't let me stop you, though
Wanna see?
I'll let you see it
A while back, I used to be a salaryman
Oan you believ e it?
Nope, not at all
And that's when she came along
At first, she wasn't anything
Just another colleague
Then one day, we decided to
hav e a welcome party for her...
in a tiny bar
At first,
ev eryone's just drinking and chatting
But then this drunk guy got up...
and told her to giv e them a talent show
'Oourse, she resisted.
Said she was embarrassed
I mean, what the hell is a
year-old lady supposed to do...
in front of a bunch of guys, anyway?
But ev eryone's cheering
and goading her on,
so she reluctantly gets up
What do you think she did?
She started cawing like a crow
Orow?
Yeah, and she didn't just open her mouth
and go "caw"
She did this weird thing with her mouth,
and...
...she went ov er and ov er...
...like that
A week later, she was gone
Nev er found out what happened
Probably had to deal with some crap
Then this guy in the office
tears up her resume and tosses it,
saying he doesn't need it anymore,
it's full of lies anyway...
So I kinda finished it out,
peeled this off
and took it home
I figure, ev en if the resume's a lie,
the picture's gotta be real
Beer
My beer isn't here
That was a long time ago
Here you go
You asshole!
Sorry, didn't mean to get you inv olv ed
Almost there
You can walk from here
Thanks
Hey
Take this
Don't need it
Take it for the thought
Hey
You ev er need help, see me
Hey!
Don't get the wrong idea
I'm not some nice guy or anything
I just happen to like you a little bit
That's all
I'm really not that nice,
so don't get the wrong idea
So long
So long
Oan I help you?
I'm looking for someone named Mizue
My sister isn't here
But...
Who're you?
Who?
What's she to you?
What's she...?
What're you here for?
She left it there, so I'm deliv ering...
What're you saying?
I need to giv e her something, so...
So you're looking for her?
Right
Where'd she go?
She left again
But I know where she is
Really?
I can tell you, but...
you hav e to tell her something for me
You walk fast
There's a bus stop straight up this path
Take that bus and it won't be long
Don't get off in the middle
Take it to the last stop,
and ask for her when you get off
OK
Weird hat
Grandma made it.
If I go out without it, I'd...
Tell my sister when you see her...
I told the camel how I feel
Told the camel...?
She'll understand. Bye
Oamel...?
Oamel...?
Hard day
Good work
Man, I'm beat
Something wrong?
A drunk
Did he get v iolent?
He's asleep
Still there?
Sleeping like a log.
Not a care in the world...
Say, you mind waking him up later?
Oh no, I can't stand drunks
Please
No, ask someone else
Oh, c'mon...
Um...
I'll go wake him
Will you? Thanks
Sir, time to wake up
Sir!
Sir!
Hey?
What're you doing here?
That's my question
Where am I?
What're you doing out here?
Asked someone at the apartment
'cause I'm deliv ering something, and...
Deliv ering what?
Your dress. You forgot it in the dryer
But I hav e to apologize
I washed it ev eryday after that
Now it's all tattered
Sorry
So funny...
Smells like detergent
Thanks
Oan't see anything, right?
There's nothing around here
You're so strange.
Ooming all the way out here...
But I'm happy
Don't think I'v e ev er been happier
It's hard to put into words, but...
It's lov e. On Earth, we call this lov e.
I don't know about Mars, though
Say...
What?
Oan I turn the TV on?
Sure
So weird
Sorry, did I wake you up?
Sick?
No, just can't get to sleep
Hey, tell me a story
What kind?
Anything, like about yourself,
or maybe a fairy tale...
You're like a kid
O'mon
How about a story grandma told me
a while back?
Sure
Heard it so often, I memorized it
Yeah? What's it about?
About a young man
who's good at whistling
Let's see...
Once upon a time, somewhere,
there was a poor young man
He was a v ery good whistler
Anytime he was happy about something,
he'd whistle
One day, he went to the sea
There, he saw a ship in the distance
and thought
how wonderful it would be...
if he could trav el the world in it
Happy with the thought,
he gav e a good whistle
Right then, a sailor walked by,
so the young man asked him,
"Will you please put me on that ship?"
The sailor told him,
"Sure, if you hand ov er that thing
you got there"
The young man had a silv er cup
in his hand
He was torn
It was an important keepsake
from his mother, you see
But he finally gav e the silv er cup
to the sailor
He wanted to be on the ship
more than anything
And he was able to get on that ship
But all of a sudden
strong winds blew,
and it became a terrible storm
The ship was tossed, and it finally sank
And?
What happened then?
I can't remember...
What, is that supposed to be a sad story?
A happy story?
I'm not sure...
Oan you sleep now?
Now with this on my mind
I'll ask grandma tomorrow
I got you!
The camel
Your sister told the camel
Said you'd understand
Oh!
That's the message
Almost forgot!
You there?
What's the matter?
I'll nev er find out the ending
I don't understand
About what?
They said grandma's dead
What does that mean?
Your shoelaces are untied
I'm not much good at this
What do you usually do?
Grandma did it ev ery morning
You think I'v e changed?
I said I'd change that day...
Now that I'm back home,
you think I'v e changed?
A little bit
How?
Your hair's longer?
I'll be going now
Hey...
Oan I go with you?
Why?
I hav en't heard the ending yet...
The story about the good whistler
I guess she's down there
But she's not really there
Because she's dead
She's there, but she isn't
Weird
Oan I ask you something?
What?
What about your parents?
Don't know
You don't know?
Don't remember
Grandma said...
my memories are frozen
in a big block of ice,
and no one can get them out
What should we do?
What's that?
Someone who drov e me
Said I should come if I need help
I'm here
Hello
Hello
You really come
You see them flying at weddings
and sports ev ents, right?
They don't just happen to be there,
you know
It's my job to make these pigeons fly
But it's not like you can
just throw 'em up there
You gotta time it right
and make 'em go at once
Must be amazing
It is, actually
Wanna see a little?
And then you do his
Why?
Pigeon hate the color red
So you wav e this around to keep 'em up
in the air
Thank you for hav ing us ov er...
Oan't sleep?
It's nothing new, I'm getting used to it
I can nev er get used to it
I start thinking
I might age decades while I'm asleep.
And I get scared and wake up
Next time I wake up,
I might be an old man
Not that I'm afraid of getting older
It's just that...
I can't bear to think that this life
I'm liv ing will soon be...
a thing of the past
Not making sense, am I?
What're you gonna do?
Stay with him?
If you wanna protect him,
you'll hav e to make some sacrifices
Actually,
It's just the opposite
Being with him is what's sav ing me
I'm the one that's depending on him
Oan I ask you one thing?
A cawing crow
Oan you imitate a cawing crow?
Nev er done it
Good, that's fine
What?
Ev en if you could,
don't do it in front of me
I can't bear to see you
G etting sleepy
Night
And so I'm a day older
Good night
When I do this, that's your signal,
all right?
Oongratulations!
Wonder what Mizue's doing?
Probably got bored of waiting
and fell asleep
Yeah
Hey...
Just for a second,
suppose she isn't there
What would you do if she went away
and didn't come back?
Just assume
There's no way
Just assume, I said
There's no way
She said she'd wait
Don't say stuff like that
What's wrong?
She's not here
Welcome home
You're here!
You're here!
Sure am
Here
Seconds, please
Good?
Try it
Hands, use your hands
You can do it
Why don't you try it!
Listen up
I'v e decided, just now
Actually,
been thinking about it for a while,
but I finally made up my mind
I'm leav ing Japan tomorrow
Why?
I'v e done a lot of things so far
Got no regrets as far as that goes
But there's one thing
I still hav en't done
What do you think that is?
What is it?
Marriage
So I decided I'm going to marry
But there's one problem
And it's a serious one
What?
Women just don't dig me
But that's in Japan
Somewhere out there in the world,
there's a woman waiting for me
So I decided...
I'll marry a blonde with big tits
So I'll be leav ing Japan
I'll giv e you ev erything
The pigeons, the house, the car...
It's all yours
But...
It's a done deal, final
So tonight's my farewell party
But don't get the wrong idea
I'm not being nice or anything,
all right?
I just happen to kinda like you two
That's all
OK, so let's toast
I thought you were going to leav e
I thought so, too
Well, dunno what your feelings are,
but I can tell you
he's nev er gonna betray you
Not ev er
Not too many people out there
you can trust not to betray you
I'll be the one to betray him, then
You won't betray him
You're here right now, aren't you?
So long
If you ask me, you're both hopeless
on your own, but...
You out of your mind?!
G et going
Together, you can do it!
You'll make it! Bye!
He's really gone
What'll we do?
We can do it if we're together
You're a good driv er
Out it out,
I'v e nev er driv en one of these before
I'll giv e you a sign, OK?
Sign to let the pigeons go
I'll do this...
then you let them go, OK?
Just open it like this
I'm getting nerv ous
You sure you can do this?
Oongratulations!
Dear...
Daddy...
The pigeons! Let 'em go!
O'mon, let 'em go!
That didn't go well
It was a good wedding, though
They were all crying
Yeah, they were
Hey
Yeah?
Let's get married, too
Let's hav e a wedding like that
No?
Don't be so casual
about something like that
But wait...
If we get married,
who's making the pigeons fly?
I know. I'll do it myself
I'll get married
and make the pigeons fly all by myself
I'll practice more,
and get better at using the flag,
so they won't come down too soon
I hope you get better
I'm sure I will
There
Hey!
Wanna go for a walk?
Let's go!
Hurry
Something on your face
Let's take a look
OK
I like this one
Me, too
It's ex pensiv e, though
Oosts yen
Then we'll sav e up
and come back to buy it
I like this one
Me too.
But it's ex pensiv e
Oosts yen
Oan't buy anything in this store
like this
Well then, let's imagine it
I magining again...
I magine it
I know it's impossible now, but...
one day we'll buy these chairs
and put this table in front,
and then...
we'll get this bookshelf, and...
oh, and how about this curtain!
OK then, imagine it...
I'll get this clock here,
and this lamp, too
I like that
I magine it
On the other side,
we'll put this clock and this lamp
The place would be full of clocks
and lamps!
This one, too
Yeah, it's beautiful
I'll go look in the front
Hmm, again...
It's untied again
Was it like this?
No...
Like this...
I did it!
Look!
I tied it myself!
That's good...
I know it's in your pocket
Take it out
I'm a patrol officer
Let's go inside
Oall the police
Yes
So, what do you do?
I fly pigeons now
Before, I was at a coin laundry...
OK, whatev er
And what's your relationship to her?
We're getting married
I see...
That's too bad
She'll be in there about a year
Prison, I mean
Looks like
she's done this many times before
A habitual offender with a record
Didn't know?
I see, that's tough...
You're lying
You're a cop but you're lying
It's no lie, she confessed
Don't lie!
Oops shouldn't lie!
Liar!
Hey, stop it!
I said stop it! Oalm down!
My name is Teru
It's actually Teruo,
but ev eryone calls me Teru
I work at a coin laundry
I make sure no one steals any laundry
I hav e a scar on my head
When I was a kid, I feel in a manhole
People say I hav e a scar on my brain,
too
My eyes are always peeled
I'm a patrol officer protecting the city
My name is... Teru...
I fell in a manhole...
I hav e a scar...
On my brain, too...
I hav e a scar...
I keep watch...
So no one steals... I watch...
So no one steals any laundry...
So no one steals...
That's my...
My...
I saw a dream
It was the ending to the story
I told Mizue once,
about the young man
who was a good whistler
After he fell off the ship
during the storm,
he was washed ashore
That's when a beautiful girl walked by
She noticed the young man,
and tried to call for help,
but no one was around
But then she noticed the silv er cup that
washed up together
She took the cup
and went to fill it with water,
and got him to drink from the cup
Ov er and ov er, she made him drink
When the young man was conscious again,
he quietly stood up
There was no one around
Not the beautiful girl,
not the precious silv er cup
So was it a sad story after all?
Or a happy one?
I really don't know
The one thing I do know...
is that the young man was glad
to be aliv e
Because after he got up,
he faced the sea and gav e a good whistle
A year later
I was thinking
The whole time...
I n the end
did I change at all?
I'm getting off
Please, let me off!
Stop!
Welcome home
Figured you'd find me if I did this
I got really good at this
So let's hav e a wedding
Let's do it here right now
I magine it
We're in a church
The bells are ringing,
the priest is here,
and ev eryone's smiling
I magine it?
I did