Live And Let Die Script - Dialogue Transcript

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Live And Let Die Script

              ...was so ably pointed out by the Secretary-General

            in his opening remarks.

            But - and I must emphasise this point -

            no formula can, or will, ever cover each case.

            For instance...

            ...when three or more applicants have been recognised,

            which is in direct contradiction to...

            Whose funeral is it?


              One more time again.

              Not married, by any chance, are you?

              Good morning,    .

              Good... good morning.

              Insomnia, sir?


              You haven't much time. I'll explain as you pack.

              Pack, sir?

              Three agents have been killed in the last    hours.

              Dawes in New York, Hamilton in New Orleans and Baines in the Caribbean.

              Baines. I rather liked Baines. We shared the same boot maker.



              I take it these killings are connected?

              That's precisely what you're going to find out.

              Baines was working on a small Caribbean island called San Monique.

              Dawes was in New York, keeping an eye on its prime minister,

              one Dr Kananga.

              Hamilton was on loan to the Americans in New Orleans.

              Is that all it does?

              By the way, congratulations.

              The Italians were most impressed by the way you handled the Rome affair.

              Thank you, sir.



              The authorities were more than helpful.

              There's one small complaint.

              They seem to be missing one of their agents.

              A Miss... Caruso.

              You wouldn't happen to know where she is?

              Miss Moneypenny.

              - Morning, Moneypenny. - Good morning, sir.

              - It's only the hour that's indecent. - Really?

              I've got your ticket to New York. Q has repaired your wristwatch.

              - And some background on San Monique. - Thank you, Moneypenny.

              I'm sure the overburdened British taxpayer will be fascinated to know

              will how the Special Ordnance Section disburses its funds.

              In future, Commander, may I suggest a perfectly adequate watchmaker

              just down the street.

              Good God!

              Pulling out this button turns the watch into a hyper-intensified magnetic field,

              powerful enough to deflect the path of a bullet

              - at long range - or so Q claims. - I feel tempted to test that theory now.

              If you don't mind, Commander, my spoon.

              Sorry, sir.

              Thank you.

              Dr Kananga is at present in New York.

              The CIA have been informed. They are helping with surveillance.

              Your flight arrives at   .  am.

              Now, where did I leave my coat?

              Allow me.

              Thank you. Come along, Miss Moneypenny.

              - Morning, Bond. - Sir.

              Miss Moneypenny.

              Thank you.

              Goodbye, James.

              Or should I say... "ciao, bello"?

              Such a delicate touch.

              Sheer magnetism, darling.

              A man comes.

              He travels quickly.

              He has purpose.

               Y:i He comes over water.

               Y:i He travels with others.

              He will oppose.

              He brings violence and destruction.


              - Mr Leiter for you, sir. - Thank you.

              Hello, Felix. How are you?

               Y:i Traffic permitting, I should be with you in half an hour.

               Y:i Then you can buy me the best lunch in New York.

              Hi, James. Your friend Kananga has just left the UN.

              He's probably headed back to his embassy.

              No, don't worry. The place is eyeballed, wired for sound - the works.

              Right. I'll see you in a half-hour.

              Easy, Charlie. Let's get there in one piece.


              Right, stand by.

              Here comes Kananga's limousine.

              Out he gets

              with the usual goon squad

              and the girl.

              Time:   .  .

              What is that?!

              Felix? You know I hate to trouble you, but I've run into a little bother.

              You what?!

              Get me a make on a white pimpmobile.

               - - . Nelson David George.

               Y:i It would seem, Dr Kananga, that the conference has not

              lived up to your expectations.

              We can only hope that this is a temporary setback.

              However, I do have some observations to make.

              Take a letter, please.

              To Secretary-General, Pan-lsland Unity Conference.


              I wish to point out...


               Y:i too many of our island neighbours

               Y:i have once again let themselves be... bullied by United States industry.

               Y:i The story is an old one,

               Y:i the record a clear one.

               Y:i Since my historic statement of principles

               Y:i was delivered and acted upon some six months ago,

               Y:i our economic outlook has improved dramatically.

               Y:i By exercising our policy of friendship to all with favouritism towards none,

               Y:i new respect for the entire area has been injected.

               Y:i And even though some of my...

              James? That car is registered to a shop at    East   th Street.

              That's only a block away from here.

              Right. Take your time, buddy. Kananga's knitting a flag in there.

               Y:i It might be the easiest thing to do.

              Something... in heads?

              Just browsing, thank you.

              Five dollars.

              Do you think you could giftwrap it for me, please?

              Lengthwise, if you don't mind.

              Thank you.

               Y:i ... remains my first concern.

               Y:i Thus San Monique's obligations to her island neighbours would seem clear.

               Y:i Those who fawn and crawl in the face of intimidation

               Y:i must perforce look up to those who stand, proudly,

               Y:i wrapped in a justifiable self-confidence.

               Y:i The time has come, painful as it may be,

               Y:i to gaze out among our sister nations in the area and see if any stands...

              He's tailing.

              I got him in my sights.

              - You know where you're goin', man? - Uptown, I believe.

              Uptown? We headin' into Harlem, man.

              Just keep on the tail of that jukebox and there's an extra $   for you.

              Man, for    bucks, I'd take you to a Ku Klux Klan cookout.

                 th. You got a honky on your tail.

              He's heading east.

              Can't miss him. It's like following a cue ball.

              That's the car. They must have gone inside.

              Pull up where you can.

              Sure hope you make friends easy.

              Right on, brother.

              He's headin' on in!

              Good afternoon.

              - Bourbon and water, please. - The first booth will do.

              Tell him neat, would you?

              - No ice. - That's extra, man.

              I'd like something on the side as well.


              Three men and a girl came in...

              Relax, baby.

              Mr Big's gonna take care of you in a minute.

              Black queen on the red king, Miss...?


              My name's Bond.

              James Bond.

              I know who you are,

              what you are, and why you've come.

              You've made a mistake.

              You will not succeed.

              Rather a sweeping statement, considering we've never met.

              The cards have followed you for me.

              You get ripped off in Detroit, you yell out to me! D'you hear?

              Is he armed?

              You can't be too careful in New York City.

              Funny how the least little thing amuses him.


              That's you, quite obviously. An amazing resemblance.

              Am I in there as well?

              Pick a card.

              Turn it over.

              You have found yourself.

              I'm telling you, go out to LA and clean it up

              or I'm coming out there and clean "you" up. And I mean that!

              Is this the stupid mother that tailed you uptown?

              There seems to be some mistake. My name...

              Names is for tombstones, baby.

              Y'all take this honky out and waste him - now!

              - "Waste him"? Is that a good thing? - The reading is over.

              Nothing about my future?


              Now, promise you'll stay right there. I shan't be long.

              Thank you.

              Keep your hands up, honky.

              What's he think this is? Blow his friggin' head off.

              Drop it!


              Harold Strutter, CIA. Where were you when I didn't need you?

              It got obvious you weren't coming out front.

              Not even with that clever disguise you were wearing.

              A white face in Harlem.

              Good thinking, Bond. Let's get outta here.

              I'm surprised they didn't spot you.

              There's a remarkable girl back there with a deck of cards.

              I saw those cards on the way up. Spades, James. Every one.

              You were nailed the minute you left   .

              Only one man can pull together that much black muscle in this town.

              Calls himself Mr Big.

              You name the business. They say he has a black concession.

              What would a foreign prime minister like Kananga

              want with an American gangster?

              Question is, what would Mr Big want with a two-bit island diplomat?

               Y:i Mr Big? Where the hell does "he" fit into this mess?

              A genuine Felix lighter. Illuminating.

               Y:i Now listen, James,

              Kananga's got a private plane and he's leaving for San Monique within the hour.

               Y:i - Get me on the next available flight. - I already did.

              I knew you wouldn't pass up a chance to get away from where the "real" action is.

              The legendary Baron Samedi, folks.

              That's Saturday, for those who speak French.

              Voodoo god of cemeteries and chief of the legion of the dead.

              The man who cannot die. But, for our purposes,

              just a performer in a musical extravaganza we've cooked up

              for you wonderful people.

              Good evening. The name's Bond. I have a reservation.

              Mr Bond. Of course. Mrs Bond's been expecting you.

              - Mrs Bond? - She arrived earlier this afternoon.

              Said she preferred something a little more... private.

              Bungalow   .

              An incurable romantic - Mrs Bond.

              Room service, please.

              Room service? This is Mr Bond. Bungalow   .

              I'd like a bottle of Bollinger, please. Slightly chilled.

              Two glasses. Thank you.

              Anybody home?

              Your champagne, sir.

              - What was that? - Your champagne.

              Put it on the table, thanks.

              - Shall I open it? - What?

              Shall I open it?

              Oh, no. I can manage. Thank you.

              - Here you are. - Thank you.

              Mrs Bond, I presume?

              I'm Rosie Carver.

              I guess I have a little explaining to do.

              Yes. Either you or

              dear Uncle Felix.

              Custom    Smith & Wesson.

              Corrugated three-inch stock, no serial number, standard CIA issue.

              The question is: Why point it at me?

              The man who delivered your champagne is not a hotel waiter.

              I was just trying to be careful.

              As for Felix Leiter, you're right.

              I've worked for CIA down here for some time now.

              He cabled me you were coming and asked if I would help out if I could.

              Perhaps you'd better start by getting your head together.

              - There's a mirror in the bathroom. - Yes.

              You're only my second mission, you know.

              My first was Baines. The agent who was killed.

              It's a relief to know I'm next in line for the same kind of aid.

              - There's a... - A snake! I should have told you.

              You should never go in there without a mongoose.

              I should have never gotten into any of this!

              I'm going to be completely useless to you.

              I'm sure we'll be able to lick you into shape.

              It's... getting late, Mrs Bond.

              Tomorrow will be a very busy day.

              You see, Kananga is protecting something down here.

              Something which Baines obviously discovered.

              You're going to show me the spot where Baines' body was found.

              That, I'm afraid, only leaves us tonight to...

              catch up on old times.

              Felix told me there'd be moments like this.

              What did good old Felix suggest?

              If all else failed,

              cyanide pills.

              I settled for two bedrooms.

              Good night, Mr Bond.

              Mrs Bond.

              It's just a hat, darling,

              belonging to a small-headed man who lost a fight with a chicken.

              It's a warning. Get it outta here!

              Oh, please!

              Please don't leave me alone tonight.

              James, please promise me!

              All right, darling, if you insist... I promise.

              Thank you.


              Breakfast's up!


              - Are you ready yet? - What?

              I have to see about organising a car.

              I'll see you in the lobby.

              Over here, sir! Guarantee big fish. Catch big fish, sir!

              Hey, baby! Over here!

              Bring your man over here! Just $  ! Have a date!

              You got warm lady? We got cold beer over here, man.

              You wanna catch a big fish, sir? It's only   over here.

              Good morning.

              Come on, Rosie. This one seems eager enough.

              Excuse me!

              Where can I change?

              Me... clothes off... where?

              Stop right there.

              Turn around slowly.

              Keep your hands up!

              As I was saying, Quarrel, a lousy agent.

              But the compensations speak for themselves.

              Rosie Carver, meet the man who shares my hairbrush.

              Quarrel Junior.

              I'm really sorry. I could have shot you.

              You might have even killed me if you'd taken off the safety catch.

              Never mind, darling.

              You just let us know when we get to the spot where Baines was killed.

              It's up in the hills, just after we clear the next cove.

              Hey, Quarrel! Who the hell lives up there?

              That's the house of the Kananga woman.

              She's supposed to have the power of the obeah.

              No one on the island dare go up there except him.

              He comes again.

               Y:i There will be violence.

               Y:i He approaches even now.

              By land or water?


              He has arrived.


              Rosie's been more efficient than I anticipated.

              I know where we could rustle up a car.

              Beautiful, brave, and now resourceful.

              Rosie, you seem to be staging a remarkable comeback.

              Tell me about the future.

              Is it death?

               Y:i I said, is it death?

              It is death.

              They're coming.

              Rosie knows what to do.

              Now, I want no bodies this time. No trace.

              It's down there.

              But... I thought you said Baines was killed up in the hills, darling.

              Up in the hills, down there.

              Why don't we have a bite of lunch and discuss it?

              There's an excellent pt in the hamper.

              I'm in no hurry.

              Are you?



              You don't know what finding you has meant to me.

              I can imagine.

              And you've no idea what finding this has meant to me.

              You do know what the Queen of Cups means in an upside-down position?

              A deceitful, perverse woman. A liar, a cheat.

              And I'd like some answers now.


              You don't understand, sir. They'll kill me if I do.

              And I'll kill you if you don't.

              But you couldn't. You wouldn't. Not after what we've just done.

              I certainly wouldn't have killed you before.

              It used to be a convincing act, Rosie. It's wearing a little thin now.

              It's not an act. It's...

              Make your choice.


              You will explain what went wrong.

              I see the intervention of a woman.

              The girl was about to confess. We had to kill her.

              The trap was set.

              Tee Hee was waiting.

              And you saw death.

              It must have been the girl's death.

              If you do not ask specific questions,

              I cannot be responsible for your misinterpretation of the answers.

              These growing signs of impertinence begin to disturb me, Solitaire.

              As they did with your mother before you.

              She had the power and lost it. Became useless to me.

              You will not make the same mistake,


              Where is Bond now?

              Where is Bond now?!

              I cannot see when you are this way with me.

              Things become unclear.

              Let us hope these momentary lapses do not become a habit.

              Your power exists to serve me. And it is mine to control.

              If and when the time comes I decide you are to lose it, I myself will take it away.

              Solitaire, go to sleep. You have made me angry with you, and I have no wish to be.

              Tee Hee...

              Put down those cards!

              It is a blasphemy!

              They tell nothing to those who cannot see.

              But they do. That's a... a bit of luck.

              Good luck, for both of us.

              The cards say we will be lovers.

              You are mistaken.

              It's impossible. Forbidden for me.

              Now you must go.

              But you do believe...

              I mean really "believe" in the cards?

              They have never lied to me.

              Then they won't now.

              Pick one.

              You knew the answer before it was given.

              Strangely enough, somehow...

              so did I.

              So it's finally happened.

              Just as it did to my mother... and her mother before her.

              Of course it did.

              You're visual proof of that, aren't you?

              Come on, cheer up, darling.

              There has to be a first time for everyone.

              Now tell me,

              where's Kananga?

              I cannot see.

              - Oh, yes, the cards. I'll get them. - No!

              There's no need to be frightened.

              You'll soon be rid of him, I promise.

              I promise.

              I just need a

              little bit of information, that's all.

              The power...

              I've lost it.

              The High Priestess is wife to the Prince no longer of this world.

              The spiritual bridge to the secret church.

              It was my fate.

              By compelling me to earthly love,

              the cards themselves have taken away my powers.

              Darling, I've...

              a small confession to make.

              Now, try not to be too upset.

              The deck was slightly stacked in my favour.

              It makes no difference.

              The physical violation cannot be undone.

              When he finds out I've lost my power...

              he'll kill me.

              Oh, now, come on. He'll have to find you first.

              Lovers' lesson number one: We have no secrets.

              For example, I have a boat waiting.

              You can be on it.

              All I have to know before we leave is... what goes on back there in voodoo land.

              Darling, three men and a girl have been killed in the last four days.

              Not counting the times they've tried to stop me

              from discovering what Kananga's protecting.

              Now, do you want to be on that boat or not?

              I simply read the cards for him.

              I have never been there,

              and he's never taken me there.

              I've never dared to go.

              But I've looked in the cards.

              I've seen great riches there.

              They'll kill you.

              Us, darling.

              They will kill "us".

              Lovers' lesson number two: Togetherness.

              Till death do us part, or thereabouts.

              Is there time before we leave

              for lesson number three?


              There's no sense in going off half-cocked.

              - This way. - How can you be so sure?

              These scarecrows are to scare "people" away. You're not scared, are you?

              Lesson number four: Follow the scarecrows.

              - Good morning, boss. - Morning.

              It's sure gonna be a "beautiful" day.

              Yes, sir, a "beautiful" day!

              They're heading for the hill.

              They're here.

              If he finds it, kill him.


              We've lost him. He has the girl.

              They're somewhere under the nets.

              At any cost - any - Bond must die.

              Unit  - . We have picked them up.

               Y:i Base to  - . Arrest Bond. But I repeat, the girl is not to be touched.

              Message received and understood. Over and out.

               Y:i Base to all units. I repeat, the girl is not to be touched.

              Get out of the way!

              Sweet mother of pearl!

              All change! End of the line!

              Get down below, quickly!

              Here, I'll do that. You get her started.

               Y:i It appears... a bus.


              He'll be looking for me now. I know he'll never stop.

              Come on, darling.

              It's all over.

              Voodoo land was just poppy fields.

              A simple matter of heroin smuggling.

              I'll have a word with a man named Felix,

              turn the case over to him, and you and I will be off.

              By the way, where would you like to go?

              Anywhere where we can find one of these.

              How quickly can we make it to New Orleans?

              Santa Mina, four hours away...

              You could catch a flight and be there in the morning.

              Get in touch with Felix. Tell him to meet me there tomorrow. Royal Orleans Hotel.

              Tampa is closer.

              Hamilton was killed in New Orleans, so there has to be a connection.

              And this is a valuable piece of merchandise we're carrying.

              Which, with any luck, they'll want back.

              Royal Orleans Hotel, please.

              Are you sure this is the way to New Orleans?

              I don't know, but this sure beats the hell out of Harlem, don't it?

              Well, hello, Jim!

              What's happenin', baby?

              Just ease back now, Jim. Relax!

              Mr Big wants to see you.

              You made a mistake back on that island, Bond.

              You took something that didn't belong to you, from a friend of Mr Big's.

              That type of mistake is tough to bounce back from.

              - But I've only just arrived. - Today is your lucky day, Jim!

              You're going skydiving!

              There's a helluva view of the lake from       feet.

              My only regret is I won't be there to see it.

              Let's go!

              - Good morning. You're... - Mrs Bell.

              You're not my instructor. Where's Mr Bleeker?

              Indisposed. I'll be giving the lesson.

              What's on for today?

              Let's just wing it, shall we, Mrs Bell?

              You're over-revving.

              - Leroy, slow down, for Pete's sake! - Do what the man say!

              I can't... I can't find the brake!

              Close those doors!

              Holy shit!

          OK, Don. Don't worry, I'll take care of it. Right.

          Talk to you later. I've got to go and give a lesson.

          Same time tomorrow, Mrs Bell?

          Yes, Mr Bleeker.

          Yes, sir. I know you just can't glue the wings back on.

           Now, Mr Bleeker, I'm sure there's no reason for name-calling.

            That's fine. Don't forget the double vents.

            I appreciate she's one of your best pupils.

            That's a little frantic. I'll keep the other three.

            Any such suggestion should be put in writing to Washington.

            - How is Mrs Bell? - Intensive care, but she'll pull through.

            Yes, sir. No one's questioning your patriotism.

            I'm sure you're a veteran, sir.

            Felix, find out if there's a Fillet Of Soul restaurant in town.

            We're way ahead of you. It's on Docker Street. Strutter's watching it now.

            Hell of a send-off.

            This way.

            - Where's Strutter? - He's gotta be inside somewhere.

            Two, gentlemen?

            I got a nice booth over here, just against the wall.

            Do you think you could find something a little closer to the stage?

            - What's wrong with a booth? - I once had a nasty turn in a booth.

            - Bourbon. No ice, please. - Two Sazeracs.

            Where's your sense of adventure? This is New Orleans. Relax!

            - One of you Felix Leiter? - Yeah, right here.

            - Call for you. A guy called Strutter. - Thanks.

            For a minute, I thought Harry was laying down on a job.

            What happened to my...

            - What happened to my friend? - What happened? Listen.

            Thanks for droppin' in, baby.

            Yeah, you're one tough pig to nail down.

            You've been picking at me like some kind of maggot.

            First, you go up to Harlem and kill one of the brothers.

            And that disturbed me.

            And then you go and steal this valuable young lady

            from my good friend, Dr Kananga.

            Now, old Kananga, he believes in all that card crap.

            I mean, he's mad.

            Well, possession being nine points of the law,

            I would say Kananga is your problem now.

            Thank you.

            In fact, if I were you, I'd... watch my step from now on.

            Yeah, well, you just let me handle our business with the man.

            I got my own plans for you, baby.

            But first

            there's one little question

            that he wants answers for.

            Then you'd better ship me back to the island and let him ask in person.

            I'm not in the habit of giving answers to lackeys.

            You damn lucky you got an ear left to hear the question with.

            Which is... did you mess with that?

            That's between Solitaire and myself... and Kananga. I'll tell him when I see him.

            You won't see sunlight unless you answer!

            I'd no idea you were so frightened of him.

            Did you touch her?!

            When I see Kananga.


            Quite revealing.

            Kananga: Poppy grower in thousands of acres

            of well-camouflaged fields,

            protected by the voodoo threat of Baron Samedi.

            Then there's Mr Big,

            distributor and wholesaler through a chain of Fillet Of Soul restaurants.


            "Sell" heroin, for money?!

            My apologies. I'm sure you simply give it away.

            Excellent, Mr Bond.

            That's precisely what I intend to do.

            Two tons of it, to be exact.

            When entering into a fiercely competitive field,

             one finds it advisable to give away free samples.

              Man or woman, black or white. I don't discriminate.

              Two tons of heroin with a street value well over a billion dollars

              nationally distributed free?

              That should make a certain group of families rather angry, wouldn't you say?


              Why, my dear Mr Bond,

              it'll positively drive them out of their minds.

              - And subsequently out of the business. - Quite ingenious.

              A sort of junkies' welfare system.

              Merely until the number of addicts in the country has doubled, shall we say?

              Then I will market that acreage you blundered into the other day.

              That heroin will be very expensive indeed, leaving myself and the phone company

              the only two going monopolies in this nation for years to come.

              And here I thought it was Solitaire who did the fortune-telling.

              Let's hope for both your sakes she still can.

              The question still stands, Mr Bond. Asked by the gentleman concerned.

              Did you touch her?

              Well, it's not the sort of question... a gentleman answers.

              Well, having set the example, I don't expect Miss Solitaire

              to be any less the lady.

              By the way,

              that's a particularly handsome watch you're wearing, Mr Bond.

              - May I see it, please? - You'll forgive me if I don't get up.


              Tee Hee.

              On the first wrong answer

              from Miss Solitaire,

              you will snip the little finger of Mr Bond's right hand.

              Starting with the second wrong answer,

              you will proceed to the more... vital areas.


              my dear,

              I want you to listen to me very carefully.

              On the back of Mr Bond's watch

              the registration number:  - - -


              Do I speak the truth?

              You speak the truth.


              if nothing else, at least I've laid your fears to rest.

              My compliments on a splendid operation. There is one thing, however, the...


              Take him to the farm.

              When do we start back?

              Soon, Solitaire.


              Solitaire, why?

              I treated you well. You lacked for nothing.

              I don't understand what you...

              Mr Bond's watch, my dear.

              I gave you every break possible.

              You had a   -   chance.

              You weren't even close.

              I had no choice.

              Please believe me... The cards!

              When the time came, I myself would have given you love.

              You knew that.

              You knew that!

              There's only one proper way to deal with this.

              And one proper time.

              The tonnage order is nearly complete.

              We move it out tonight.

              And I mean tonight!

              Mr Bond.

              How much do you know about crocodiles, Bond?

              I've... always tried to keep them at arm's length myself.

              Cute little nippers, ain't they?

              I don't suppose those potential overnight bags are orphans.

              Oh, no! We have some moms and dads as well.

              In fact, quite a few thousand.

              This is the part I like best: Feeding time.

              I suspect, the highlight of the tour.

              Some of these babies live to be     years old.

              Look over there.

              That's an alligator. You can always tell by its round nose.

              There's old Albert.

              He's a croc.

              Got careless with him some time back, and he took my whole arm off.

              Well done, Albert!

              They'll eat anything. Even each other.

              Then again, sometime they can go a whole year without eating.

              I was rather counting on that.

              There are two ways to disable a crocodile, you know.

              I... don't suppose you'd care to share that information with me?

              One way is to jam a pencil into the depression hole behind his eyes.

              And the other?

              The other's twice as simple.

              You just put your hand in his mouth

              and pull his teeth out.


              Evans, get him!

              Adam, in the car! Head him off! Hector, move, damn it!

              Bond ripped off one of our boats. He's headed for the Irish Bayou.

               Y:i The man that gets him, stays alive!

              Now move, you mothers!


               Y:i I got me a regular Ben Hur down here.

              Doin'    minimum.

               Y:i - Need any help, JW? - Hell, no!

              You got a set of wheels that just won't quit, boy!

              If they's yours, that is. You spin around, boy.

              Ten fingers on the fender.

              Legs apart.

              I'm sure this ain't exactly your debut at this sort of thing.

              You picked the wrong parish to haul ass through, boy.

              Nobody cuts and runs on Sheriff JW Pepper.

              And that's him speakin' that, by the bye!

              What the...

               Y:i JW?

               Y:i Soon as you nail that offendin' vehicle, Miss Pearson just called.

               Y:i Seems her dog's foamin' all at the mouth.

               Y:i She's got him locked up in the shed

               Y:i and wondered if you'd like to come over and shoot it for her.

              You tell Miss Pearson to take a flyin'...

              That look like a boat stuck in the Sheriff's car there, Eddie?

              Boy, where you been all your life? That there's one of them new car-boats.

              By the powers invested in me by this parish,

              I hereby do commandeer this vehicle and all those persons within.

              And that means you, smartass!

               Y:i Unit    in position.

               Y:i Ten-four,   . Come in,   .

               Y:i Hey, JW. Seems like Deke Rogers done got his boat stole off the river

               Y:i but got a new one in his swimming pool.

               Y:i - Sheriff, get your boys off my frequency! - Give me that!

              Now you listen to me, trooper boy!

              We got a swamp full of Black Russians

              drivin' boats to beat the band down here!

               Y:i Relax, Sheriff. We've got a roadblock waiting for them at Miller's Bridge.

              Unit    at Miller's Bridge. We're just about all set here.

              Make that secure there! D'you hear?

              OK, fellas. Here they come!

              All right, out of my way! I'm in charge here!

              You two boys, come on!

               Y:i I want those two men and their boats apprehended immediately!

              Yes, sir, Captain. I understand.

              But, I don't know where we're gonna find a boat fast enough to catch 'em.

              Call my brother-in-law, Billy Bob. He's got the fastest boat on the whole damn river.

              Billy Bob'll sure enough fix their ass! Yeah, call Billy Bob.

               Y:i There's two boats, Billy Bob. They're movin' like buttered pigs!

               Y:i Now, I promised these boys here you'd get 'em. Don't let me down.

              Cool down, JW. I'm on my way.

              - Want something, boy? - Yes. I'd like to borrow this boat, if I may.

              Everybody on the river would like to borrow this boat.

               Y:i Billy Bob, we've got 'em spotted. They're headed for Hayley's Landing.

              That's my brother-in-law! That's Billy Bob!

              He'll get 'em! Billy Bob'll get 'em!

              Hot damn!

              If one side of the Pepper family don't get 'em, the other side will! Let's go!

              If any man can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together,

              let him now speak, or else hereafter...

               Y:i Headquarters to all units.

               Y:i Suspects seen proceeding down by Liberty towards Highway   .

               Y:i Proceed with caution.

              Would you get that chicken coop off the road?!

              Did you ever think of gettin' a driver's licence, boy?!

              Are you sure that was your brother-in-law, Sheriff?

              - Felix, what are you doing here? - We'll get to that later.

              Kananga's in town. He's got your girl. They just took off.

              There's the son of a bitch! I got him!

              What are you?

              Some kind of doomsday machine, boy?

              Well, we've got a cage strong enough to hold an animal like you here!

              - Captain, enlighten the sheriff, please. - Yes, sir.

              JW, let me have a word with you.

              JW, now this fella's from London, England.

              He's an Englishman workin' in cooperation with our boys.

              - A sort of secret agent. - Secret agent?!

              On whose side?!

              We busted the Fillet of Soul an hour ago. We came up with nothing but these.

              Kananga's clear.

              You should have seen the size of the guy on the boat with him.

              Nine feet tall, I swear.

              Big top hat, a cockamamie flute in one hand and Solitaire in the other.

              The incendiary bombs are set for midnight.

              Now, that gives you exactly...    minutes.

              Watch out for sharks on the way back.

              We'll see you for breakfast, Felix.

              Good hunting!

              You're going to need these and the shark gun on the way back.

              Seems like the party's started.

              My regards to Baron Samedi, man - right between the eyes.


              Mr Bond! There you are!

              And Miss Solitaire as well.

              Hardly unexpected, but most welcome.


              Two more glasses for our guests!

              - What shall we drink to, Mr Bond? - How about an earthquake?

              Welcome home. Where's our boy?

              He'll be along any time now.

              I checked behind a rock and his wet suit is gone.

              Keep the change.

              It is unfortunate your wet suit was found

              only minutes before the field was destroyed.

              Don't tell me you're not insured?

              The poppy is a very sturdy flower.

              You have been a relatively "minor" nuisance, in fact.

              But this gun... I find it particularly fascinating.

              What is it?

              A shark gun, naturally. With compressed gas pellets.



              pull the pin out. The air in here is foul enough already.

              Somehow I never thought of you as a poor loser.

              I was hoping you would join me to drink to the future.

              Miss Solitaire used to know all about the future. Especially predicting death.

              An underground monorail.

              Connected to the last refuge of a scoundrel, no doubt.

              The heroin leaves here, I take it, carried somewhere by that winch.

              Correct again, Mr Bond. What a quick study you are.

              Let me show you exactly how it works.

              Where in hell can the man be?

              Relax! He must have got tied up somewhere.

              These cans hold    pounds each.

              There are    cans to a shipment, packed in watertight

              metal containers.

              It's your show, but isn't there a simpler way of drowning someone?

              Drown, Mr Bond?

              I doubt you'd get the chance to drown.

              Perhaps we could try something on an even simpler vein.

              On the contrary, Mr Bond,

              I think you'll find those wounds quite fatal.


              The gate.

              Slowly, Whisper, slowly, slowly. Let our diners assemble.

              Look out!

              Where's Kananga?

              He always did have an inflated opinion of himself.

              Oh, James!

              How do we get out of here?

              We take the train, of course.

              Thanks for everything, Felix. See you tomorrow night at the    Club.

              Why do you want to travel this way?

              What the hell can the two of you do on the train for    hours?

              Say goodbye to Felix, darling.

              Now, the first thing to learn in playing gin rummy

              is never take a card from the exposed pile unless you really need it.


              James! What are you doing?

              Just testing an old adage.

              "Unlucky at cards..."

              - Do hurry up, James. - Won't be a moment, darling.

              Lock the door as well on your way up, would you, James?

              After all, we wouldn't want anyone to just walk in on us, would we?

              For the first time in my life, I feel like a complete woman.

              The slightest touch of your hand...

              I was always so afraid that a part of me would stay with the past.

              But now I know there's no chance of that any longer.

              To be able to reach out and touch you...

              Mr Bond. It's good to see you again.

              Well, that wasn't very funny!

              Now what are you doing?

              Just being disarming, darling.



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