Madonna: Truth Or Dare Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Madonna: Truth Or Dare script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the concert movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Madonna: Truth Or Dare. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Madonna: Truth Or Dare Script

            I think I'm in a state of shock.

          I know the tour's over, but it's--

          Last week in Spain, I really felt like I was gonna have a nervous breakdown.

          I couldn't take the crowds, do the shows. It was too hot.

           Everything was getting to me. And I thought...

            I think I'm getting ready for the depression for when the tour's over.

            But I really didn't feel emotional last night.

            I know everybody else did...

            but I didn't feel emotional because it was like it already ended for me.

            It's like when you know someone's dying...

            you have to make your peace before they die.

            I've done this with close friends of mine.

            I make my peace with it before it happens...

            so I don't get really hurt.

            And then when it happens it's like...

            I don't feel anything.

            But I know I'll feel something later.

            I just don't know when that's gonna be.

            I guess it's a protection device.

            I hope I'm in a safe place when it happens.

            What's wrong with me? I'm freaking out.

            I have 'Japanitis.'

            Let's walk.

            Papa don't preach

            Stop. Stop. Stop.

            Keith, you motherfucker!


            The level up here is not that loud...

            and there's no reason for all this feedback.

            If we can't get it to sound better than this, then I'm not doing a show.

            Some someone who knows about sound better come up here and explain it.

            - I'm waiting. - She's getting pissed.

            Why can Donna and Niki not hear themselves?

            Where's John Draper?

            She sees me and the smile is gone.

            - It's because it's raining, Freddy! - I know.

            You think it's funny.

            I don't think it's funny.

            Get out. I'm having a business talk.


            Who does she think she is, my mama? Snatching my head.

            I only look white.

            She's really Mabel. Remember What's Happening? That's her.

            I was born a poor black child.

            No rhythm.

            Look at her hair. Fuckin' pickaninny lookin' shit.

            I don't wanna do no makeup on Madonna, master.

            I got rhythm.

            Do it the way it looks smooth.

            Do you like it over your head?

            No. The great thing is your hidden and then you pop out.

            That's why I asked you if I'm gonna do it over your head or not?

            I don't think so. Take a poll. Ask everybody.

            - Take a pole? - Yeah, and ram it up your ass.

            I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding, Ollie.

            No, you said it.

            Every goddamn day, you throw this little fag stuff on me.

            - Don't you know what a poll is? - Where is a pole? That's a pole.

            A poll is when you go around and take--

            Did you say poll?

            You're forgiven, Ollie. Everything you don't know you're forgiven for.

            Now let mama get her makeup done.

            Oh, God. I love having children to watch over.

            You're not filming me getting an adjustment. I won't be able to relax.

            I'm serious.

            Alec, no. No way.

            We talked about this in L.A.

            About me getting an adjustment.

            Just tune it out.

            Julie, shut up and don't tell me to tune it out.

            It's cold like a New York winter day.

            It's snowing weather, that's what it's like.

            All of you put black tights on. Put the bowed costume on.

            Put your jacket on, and that's your costume for the night.

            This is so wild.

            I'm panicking right now. Belgium stress.

            Five minutes, everybody.

            Show time.

            Good evening.

            I don't know about you, but I'm freezing my ass off.

            But we're gonna do a good show for you anyway.

            For some strange reason...

            I failed to realize the first leg of the tour was during Japan's rainy season.

            So, for three straight weeks we performed the show in a blizzard.

            But the dancers are so excited to be performing for an audience...

            the world could blow up and they wouldn't care.

            I, on the other hand, was not in the mood for Eskimos on ice.

            The only thing that kept me from slashing my wrists...

            was the thought of coming back to America...

            and doing the show the way it was meant to be.

              All right, America!

              Do you believe in love?

              'Cause I got something to say about it and it goes like this.

              Don't go for second best, baby

              Put your love to the test

              You know you got to

              Make him express how he feels

              And, baby, then you know your love is real

              You don't need diamond rings

              Or   -karat gold

              Fancy cars that go very fast

              You know they never last

              What you need is a big strong hand

              To lift you to your higher ground

              Make you feel like a queen on a throne

              Make him love you till you can't come down

              Long stem roses are the way to your heart

              But he needs to start with your head

              Satin sheets are very romantic

              What happens when you're not in bed

              You deserve the best in life

              So if the time isn't right then move on

              Second best is never enough

              You'd do much better, baby on your own

              Express yourself

              You've got to make him express himself

              So if you want it right now

              Make him show you how

              Express what he's got Baby, ready or not

              And when you're gone he might regret it

              Think about the love he once had

              You've got to carry on but he just won't get it

              He'll be back on his knees so please

              Express yourself

              So you can respect yourself

              By the time we left Japan, I was getting attached to the dancers...

              and I started feeling like a mother to them.

              Gabriel, since you never give me attitude, you get the oldest one.

              Thank you.

              When we got to America, I got to meet the mothers...

              of all the children I temporarily claimed as my own.

              And the parents were usually as colorful as their kids.

              It's Mama Make-up.

              - Is that it? - Don't we look alike?

              Happy Mother's Day.

              Carlton's mom is in the hallway. I just heard her.

              - There she is. - Hi.

              I want one with her. I must.

              She is so tiny and cute.

              Ooh, baby do you know what that's worth

              Ooh, heaven is a place on earth

              Do I have to listen to this?

              That's why I want my radio on. Those girls annoy me.

              It's Donna imitating Belinda Carlisle.

              Niki's mommy is singing.

              I know. I know.

              That's the one.

              You know it's a bad sign...

              when they want you to go on a half an hour early.

              Everything's fine.

              But we're in a conservative town.

              And that is another reason to not wanna live in Chicago.

              Beside for the fact that Oprah Winfrey lives here.

              Do you want a T-shirt?

              I think I have unconsciously...

              chosen people that are emotionally crippled in some way.

              Or who need mothering in some way. Because...

              I think it comes natural to me.

              It fulfills a need in me to be mothered.

              Wait a second. You guys.

              Does Jose love me more than I love him?

              - It's not possible. - Yes.

              You know what it is?

              After rehearsal in our hotel room...

              and guess what this child pumped?

              Get up off the floor.

              Don't ever leave me.

              The innocence of the dancers move me.

              They're not jaded in the least. They haven't been anywhere.

              This was the opportunity of their lives.

              And I know that they've suffered a great deal in their lives...

              whether with their families or just being poor.

              And I wanted to give them the thrill of their lives.

              I wanted to impress them. I wanted to love them.

              I'd like to leave a message.

              Someone is coming. My father is coming from New Orleans...

              and he's gonna be here in    minutes.

              So when he comes, could you please let him--

              I haven't seen him in five years. This is not important to you. I don't care.

              Let him park in the front, please.

              No valet. Just let him park.

              I haven't seen him in a long time.

              Now that I think about it, I don't want to meet him.

              I'm just joking.

              I'm looking for a black Cherokee Jeep.

              Wait, hold up. There's a Jeep leaving.

              Bye, Daddy.


              Thank you. He's on his way up.

              Oh, my God.

              How you doing?

              When I saw him, I was disappointed because we didn't look alike.

              Not anymore.

              When I saw him, it was like, 'This was my brother Lance.'

              - When is your birthday? - You acted just like Lance.

              My God, Daddy, if you saw Lance, you would trip. He acts just like you.

              - Really? - This is a trip.

              I'm disappointed. You can't meet Madonna now.

              Ollie, are you okay?

              What's wrong, baby?

              Wait a minute. How's your dad?

              I believe you.

              Please tell me--

              - How was it? - Yeah.

              - Were you nervous? - Oh, no.

              - Is he coming to the show? - Yeah.

              Will you bring him backstage?

              - After what? - The show.

              Bring him back to my room.

              Now, the reason why I haven't seen him in five years...

              and talked to him much is because he told me...

              'Oliver, you're not gonna make it. I wish you'd stop dancing.'

              When he got to Houston, we had a talk about this.

              Then he asked me to forgive him...

              which I never heard from him before.

              And I forgave him.

              I guess he felt happy.

              Oh, Father

              If you never wanted to live that way

              If you never wanted to hurt me

              Why am I running away

              Maybe someday

              When I look back

              I'll be able to say

              You didn't mean to be cruel

              And somebody hurt you too

              You can't hurt me now

              I got away from you

              I never thought I would

              You can't make me cry

              You once had the power

              I never felt so good

              About myself

              - Hello? - Dad?

              - Yes! - Hi, it's me.

              - Hi. How are you? - Listen.

              I realize I haven't talked to you in a while and I hope all is good.

              But I have no idea what night you guys are coming to the show.

              And all that stuff. So, what's going on?

              Your nights were changed.

              Who wants to come? And when?


              I'd love it if you'd come to both shows.

              It's pretty racy. I don't know if you could take it two nights.

              You had to get racy on me?

              Dad, I'm not getting racy. I've been racy.

              - Can't you tone it down a bit? - For you?

              That would be compromising my artistic integrity.

              Of course. Do you undress in this performance?

              No! Of course I don't.

              Whatever you can get tickets for.

              Dad, I can get you tickets any night you wanna come.

              - That would be great. - How many tickets do you want?

              But you gotta tell me now and who they're for.

              - Martin and a friend. - How's Marty doing?

              - We took him to-- - Did he go to the rehab center?

              He's there. He's getting out on the   .

              - The   ? - The reason I called...

              is he wanted to know if he could do this?

              Do what?

              - He wants to have a party. - Dad, I'll tell you something.

              This is really grueling show and tour.

              It's not like when I played stadiums where I do one show then have days off.

              These are back-to-back.

              I don't like to go out and party because I lose my voice.

              Halfway through 'Get lnto The Groove,' the monitors went off on stage.

              I cannot hear myself! And he's standing there like he doesn't know.

              I don't think I really anticipated how draining the show was gonna be.

              My brother Christopher warned me I was gonna regret it.

              But by the time I realized he was right it was too late.

              Definitely, one of the all-time worst.

              It wasn't just the physical aspect. There were so many technical things.

              So many little things that could fuck up and, boy, did they.

              Never want to turn your back

              The monitors have never done it before.

              Something going on in the building we didn't have at sound check.

              I wanna check everywhere to make sure this doesn't happen again...

              'cause it happened in 'Where's the Party .'

              You don't understand there's no way of checking things--

              How come it's not happening to Niki and Donna?

              I have no answer because there's something close to your frequency--

              If you don't find an answer--

              I'm singing a cappella and my headset goes out...

              and everybody thinks the show is over with.

              How come it didn't happen to the girls?

              We're all on separate frequencies.

              Put me on their fucking frequency. And you know.



              Somebody stuck some big fat man up in the front to give me dirty looks.

              I swear to God.

              And don't hide back there, Warren. Get over here.

              - Freddy? - Yes, ma'am?

              - You lied. - What did I lie about?

              There was only industry people in the first two rows.

              - I didn't like that. - You said there wasn't gonna be any.

              - I don't how they got there. - They totally bummed me out.

              They sat there with their arms folded, dirty looks on their faces.

              I swear to God. Do something else. Do my eyebrows.

              It was so distracting and so depressing to me...

              to have two rows of people looking like they weren't there to have fun.

              - What's the point? - Everyone in the pit was dancing.

              Freddy, fuck you! There was not.

              There were three rows of assholes and then a space.

              I tried to change it, and I'm trying to change it for tomorrow.

              I want it changed. And John Draper.

              - Hi. - Please give Keith a new asshole...

              because he's in charge of my show, the sound of it.

              - Are you talking about the very end? - It wasn't the very end.

              It was in 'Causing a Commotion' and 'Open Your Heart'...

              and 'Keep It Together' and 'Where's The Party' and 'Vogue'...

              my sound kept coming out on my headset.

              - Kept cutting out? - Don't tell me you didn't know.

              - In 'Keep It Together.' - No. Yeah.

              - You were particularly awesome. - I thought it was killer.


              - Thank you. - Awesome.

              - People could see it. - See how good I am when I'm pissed off?

              - If that's what it takes. - No, please, Freddy.

              I thought you were in the greatest mood because you were really putting out.

              - The crowd was-- - The crowd was tough.

              It was a tough crowd on the sides because it's L.A.

              Look, everyone looked like a goddamn William Morris agent in the first rows.

              Okay, that's it, Freddy.

              You stink.

              You pussy, man. Get over here.

              What is with you?

              Can you believe I have to do this every night?

              Are you gonna be nicer to me now, Warren?


              Where are you going?

              Bring some people back because I have to go home and go to sleep.

              Liz, you look really well rested... not.

              I'm trying to turn Warren into a vegetarian.

              I told him I wouldn't have his baby unless he was a vegetarian.


              - The lights are good here. Don't worry. - It's good if you lie down.

              - That's AI Pacino. - Hi. Nice to meet you.

              - That's Mandy Patinkin. - How are you? Nice to meet you.

              Los Angeles was hard that way.

              I've found it weird for celebrities to assume a friendship with you...

              because you're a celebrity.

              It can get kind of awkward.

              Warren thanks you all for coming.


              - You were great. - Thank you.

              Thanks for having us. It was really generous.

              - Thanks for coming. - We thought it was neat.

              - 'Neat?' - Really neat.

              No one's ever described it as that.

              Have fun. We won't be making that other deal.

              - Not neat enough for you. - Not quite.

              We've gotta get the kids.

              And give them this.

              - Thanks. - God bless. Thanks.

              Neat? Anybody who says my show is 'neat' has to go.

              He loves me.

              He loves me not.

              He just wants to fuck me.

              He really cares about me.

              - Uh-oh. - What?

              I ended on a 'He loves me not.' Does this little one count?

              - Not if you don't want it to. - There's two there.

              - There are not two. - Make it not count.

              It's one. He loves me all right.

              Warren told me Edie Sedgewick wanted to meet him.

              He said, 'Okay,' 'cause he was curious...

              as any red-blooded American male would have been.

              She came over, and he said she had a completely see-through raincoat on...

              and nothing on underneath it.

              Isn't that funny?

              He didn't fuck her.

              Isn't that unusual?

              - Do you really like them? - What do you think People will say?

              I remember when I told Warren to bring me a present. He did.

              He brought me this really cool shirt from Dolce and Grebano.

              See? I get what I want.

              May I speak to Warren Beatty please?

              He doesn't even have a fake name.

              Warren, you're supposed to be here. It's  :  .

              If you don't get over here now, I'm leaving without you.

              I did too. I never said that.

              What an asshole!


              I had a dream last night...

              that Gorbachev came to my show.

              My first reaction was...

              that Warren was gonna be so jealous I got to meet him first.

              Anyway, it was a good dream.

              The police are here.

              You can't do the masturbation scene tonight or you'll be arrested.

              - Really? - Uh-huh.

              Oh, good, let's see what happens.

              - They will do it. - What, jump on stage?

              - They'll wait till after the show. - They'll arrest you after.

              - Are you guys serious? - Totally serious.

              Clay is down there with Freddy.

              - So what's considered masturbation? - Sticking your hand on your crotch.

              But then another one of our options is to cancel the show.

              - If you choose that, we won't play. - It's your choice.

              We're asking for that, and it's your choice. It's in your hands.

              - We'll have to pay a fine? - We'll have to cancel the show.

              They'll probably take you to the station.

              Write you a ticket. You'll pay for it. You'd be in every paper.

              Yeah! I'm not changing my fucking show.

              I think I need some legal advice from a Canadian attorney...

              before I make a decision.

              - You're lying. - I am not lying.

              I swear to God. The police and a representative from the D.A.'s office.

              Two plain clothes policemen saw the show.

              - Really? - Yesterday.

              - And they said-- - Immoral live performance.

              You shouldn't have told me.

              It might prepare you for this with the police standing there.

              Did you guys hear?

              - What? - That the police are here.

              -Why? -If I touch my crotch, I'll be arrested.

              Are you serious?

              They arrested Bobby Brown for fucking on stage.

              - That's called jealousy. - I hope he's in jail when I get there.

              My question is does it help legally--

              Strictly as a legal question, if we go on stage...

              and someone says, 'This show may contain graphic material--'

              Doesn't work. Not here.

              We are going to jail. I'm so excited.

              Dear Lord...

              this is our last night in Toronto...

              the fascist state of Toronto.

              All my babies are feeling fragile, and I want you all to know...

              I love you all and I appreciate everything you're doing for me...

              and I'm here if you need me.

              I want you to go out there tonight and give everything you have.

              Have a great show. Remember, in the United States of America...

              there is freedom of speech.

              And let's kick ass.

              Are we gonna go to jail or what?

              I ain't changing my show.

              I'll give you the options.

              They just told me that there's been complaints...

              that there are simulated orgasms, blah, blah, blah.

              It's against their rules and regulations.

              I am not changing my show.

              I know you're not, but can you wait five minutes for me to straighten it out?

              - What's to straighten out? - Hopefully we can change their mind.

              All you have to do is tell them I'm not changing my show.

              I am an artist and this is how I express myself. What do you have to tell them?

              We shall overcome

              She has told me that this is artistic freedom. This is her show.

              It's gone in several countries in major cities across the world.

              In Canada, if you choose to do that...

              I'm sure it will be an international scandal.

              God, everything's gonna have a whole new meaning in the show.

              Like when I say 'God,' I'll be praying that I don't get arrested.

              Where else am I nasty?


              We're gonna realize tonight how many places we do this.

              Say, 'Toronto, you believe in freedom? I got something to say about it.'

              - Chris, don't let them take me. - They won't.


              Come together

              In every nation

              - That's right. - Holiday

              Get arrested for that.

              Consequences is they may detain her after the show...

              and charge her with indecency.

              Last time I was on tour, Sean was in jail. I guess it's my turn.

              She'll do it, but she won't--

              Bet she does it more.

              - How much you wanna bet? - I'll bet something small.

              I'll trust you.

              I made it through the wilderness

              Somehow I made it through

              Didn't know how lost I was

              Until I found you

              I was beat


              I'd been had

              I was sad and blue

              But you made me feel

              Yeah, you made me feel

              Shiny and new

              Like a virgin

              Touched for the very first time

              Like a virgin

              When your heart beats

              Next to mine

              Gonna give you all my love, boy

              My fear is fading fast

              Been saving it all for you

              'Cause only love can last

              You're so fine

              And you're mine

              Make me strong

              Yeah, you make me bold

              'Cause your love thawed out

              Yeah, your love thawed out

              What was scared and cold

              You're so fine

              And you're mine

              I'll be yours

              Till the end of time

              'Cause you made me feel

              Yeah, you made me feel

              I'd nothing to hide

              Feels so good inside

              When you hold me

              And your heart beats

              And you love me

              Spokesman for rock singer Madonna say Metro police...

              and Crown Attorney's office threatened to arrest the star last night...

              for lewd and obscene behavior.

              However, the police department tonight has a different story.

              Headquarters said officers checked out the show on complaints...

              found nothing wrong and left without incident.

              Madonna released a statement from Michigan saying...

              she would rather cancel the show than alter it.

              Detroit was definitely the hardest place we went to on the tour...

              at an emotional level.

              God, going home is--

              Well, it's just never that easy for me.

              People always talk about how stardom changes you...

              but they never talk about how it can change the people close to you.

              Hi, Marty.

              - Who is that? - How you doin'?

              How's it going?

              - This is my brother Martin. - Hi, Marty.

              This is Donna. Don't pay any attention to her.

              - Niki, you gonna say hi to Marty? - Hi, Marty.

              I feel that there is a pressure.

              Because of my sister people say...

              'How come you're not that? How come you're not the manager?

              How come you're not this, the other?

              You should be this, that.

              There is something they measure against you.

              And sometimes I cop an attitude.

              But I deal with it.

              Well, she's available.

              Why don't you talk to her? She's taking a nap now.

              I'm gonna be back here probably around  :  .

              I can't see anybody till after the show.

              Sounds good. See ya, hon.

              We're tight. We talk and stuff.

              She gives me advice and I give her a few tips...

              and she gives me a few tips.

              We really have a give-and-take relationship.

              We can get past that star bullshit.

              She knows what time it is with me...

              and I know what time it is with her.

              Dear Lord, it seems like every time I'm standing here before the show...

              I'm asking for something extra special, but I'm here again.

              They say, 'Ask and you shall receive.'

              So, I'm begging You to give me a voice to sing with this evening...

              and the girls too.

              This is my hometown, so I'm extra nervous.

              And even though it's not supposed to matter...

              it does matter what they think.

              And so I ask You...

              to give me...

              that little extra something special...

              to show everybody here that I did...

              make something out of my life, amen.

              Have a great show.

              I said it last night, and I'll say it again.

              There's no place like home.

              In addition to that...

              there's nobody like this man.

              There's nobody like my father...

              who is here tonight.

              And I worship the ground that he walks on.

              And it's his birthday tonight.

              I was wondering if I could sing 'Happy Birthday' in front of       people?

              This is my dad.

              I was wondering if you would all sing it with me.


              Happy birthday to you

              I can't hear you.

              Happy birthday

              Dear Dad

              Happy birthday

              To you

              Dad, I love you.

              Detroit, I love you. Good night.

              Thank you.

              So, did my father disown me?

              - He looked so happy. - Really?

              Oh, God, I was so afraid to do 'Like A Virgin.'

              - I could tell you were. - I was like--

              Okay, I'm done with that now.

              Oh, my God. It was harder to do that show...

              than the police in Toronto.

              I was more afraid of what my actions would result in.

              Are you ready for Dad?

              Dad, you can come in, but I gotta get dressed. Come in.

              Hi. I better take off my sweaty clothes.

              - You're soaking. - Sorry.

              Let me change. Did you like the show?

              - It was great. - It was very good. Wonderful.

              A little touchy in spots, but it was great.

              I didn't expect 'Happy Birthday.'

              Oh, man. I tried not to start bawling in front of everybody.

              It's hard to sing and cry.

              Now you know why I'm wiped out.

              It's exhausting just watching everything that's going on around.

              I can't do this for another two months.

              I'm sure you're relieved it's over.

              That one's over. That was a big one.

              I'm so tired.

              The minute you turn your head, the stuff is all lit on the stage.

              Hi. I'm getting a touch-up.

              You take a shower already?

              I never thought I'd see you bow at your father's foot.

              - I thought that was great. - I never thought I would either.

              I was honored. A little taken back, but honored.

              I thought I had to make up since I didn't get you a birthday present.

              Weren't the sets beautiful? Didn't Chris do a great job?

              Aren't my dancers great?

              It was all great. Some scenes there were...

              - X-rated? - burlesque.

              Dad. You don't understand. They all lead to something.

              - Art. - It's got nothing to do with art.

              It's a journey that you go on.

              You get on this train, you have to stay on to the end.

              Exactly. You take a journey. It's cathartic.

              You can't get to one place without going to another place.

              It's like growing up.

              That's what my show is like.

              She's growing up on stage.

              My brother's gonna come.

              If he has a few friends, that's fine.

              But if he brings a lot of people...

              then I want you to come in here...

              and be the chaperon...

              because my brother's crazy.

              - I know. - You have to be nice too.

              He can't help it.

              Thank you.

              What's my fart poem? Should I say it?

              Which one? The one about the beans?

              I'm replenishing my fluids.

              A fart is a chemical substance.

              It comes from a place called Bum.

              It penetrates through the trousers...

              and lands with a musical hum.

              To fart is no disgrace...

              for it gives the body ease.

              It warms the blankets on cold winter nights and suffocates the fleas.

              And. Angie said...

              'You're not gonna stay and see Marty?'

              Don't leave me alone.

              - I'll be here in spirit. - Bastard.

              We went out to get the limousine and the driver was gone...

              because the guy who owned the service locked his keys in his car.

              So I had to wait.

              He probably stopped at a bar for    drinks.

              No, he didn't. He's cleaned up.

              Oh, yeah.

              Dad says he went to alcohol rehab to escape going to jail.

              'He went there for the wrong reasons.

              It wasn't proper motivation. He doesn't wanna heal himself.

              Did Martin come yet?

              Did he show up yet?

              Oh, well. Thanks.

              Martin was supposed to come...

              but he didn't.

              Big deal.

              I think Martin's not coming. I'm going to bed.


              If my brother comes, you just tell him...

              that I'd like privacy, please.

              - Hi, Martin. - How you doing?

              - Listen to that low voice. - I made it lower for you.

              - You been crying? - My Visine.

              My eyes got sore. Where are you going?

              - Have a drink with my family. - You coming back up?

              - I'll be back up. - Where's she at?

              She's probably sleeping. Most likely.

                  I got to find.

              I'll be right back.

              - What are you looking for? -    .

              - It's right there. - It's right here?

              It was right in front of me the whole time.

              She's probably sleeping.

              Good night.

              Sharon, I beat up girls like you when I was little.

              It's true. You know who she reminds me of?

              - Who? - Of the McFarlands.

              Maureen McFarland.

              - Hello. Hi. - Are you Maureen?

              You guys.

              They're a nice family. If you think our family's wacky.

              I won't say anymore.

              There was a time about ten years ago that I was in Colorado...

              and I was gonna go to New York to see her 'cause she was there...

              and I never made it.

              I was a dancer on the road. Different kind. I was topless.

              I was really into drugs.

              But Moira McFarland taught me how to shave my legs.

              Let me borrow her stuffed bra.

              - How old were you? - Showed me how to use Tampons.

              Not very well, I might add. And taught me how to make out.

              Madonna, I did not teach you how to insert a Tampon.

              And if we got in bed together naked, I don't remember that.

              She said she was never in bed naked with me? She's a liar.

              She's got an active imagination.

              She's a liar. Did she say she finger-fucked me?

              I remember looking at her bush. I know.

              See what happens when you take drugs and alcohol. I lose a lot of stuff.

              I remember the crack in her parent's bed because it was two beds together.

              I remember I fell through the crack.

              We were naked jumping up and down on the bed too much.

              The last time I really saw her before...

              before she became a star...

              was when I was in tenth grade.

              Where's my idol?

              I don't know if I'm nervous.

              I just wanna see Madonna.

              - You didn't recognize me? - I didn't know you were coming out.

              - I don't have my glasses on. - So, how are you?

              When you see the show, you'll forgive me for not talking to you.

              It's really difficult.

              I know. I got five boys.

              I gotta ask you something. Can we sit down?

              I can't sit down. I'm sorry. What's up?

              About four years ago, I wrote you a letter.

              You never received it. I asked you if you would be Mario's godmother.

              - I remember that. - Did you read it?

              I got it a long time after the fact.

              Well, very unexpectedly.

              Real unexpectedly, I'm pregnant again.

              Really? Oh, my God.

              I want you to be the baby's godmother.

              - Really? - I really do.

              You're coming tonight? And Melissa has all your phone numbers?

              - This is too rushed. - I know.

              I'm really flattered that you're asking me, but I have to think about it.

              - But that's really sweet. - It's nothing to do with religion.

              - I know. - It's spirituality.

              Do I get to decide on the name?

              As long as it's the same as yours. Except you've got to bless this child.

              -Bless this and say, 'She needs a girl.' -I would bless it anyways.

              Have a girl, Moira.

              I gotta go. Come out a girl and we're gonna call you Madonna.

              - All right, gimme a kiss and hug. - I love you.

              - I hope you like the show. - I have something for you.

              Is that the painting?

              I'm gonna put it in my room. Clay, come on.

              I love this painting.

              Thank you.

              Thanks. I'm gonna put it in my room. I love you too.

              - And you call me after the tour. - I will.

              - Promise? - I promise. Bye.

              - I love you, Madonna. - I love you too.

              You little shit.

              Look. Moira made this painting for me.

              - She did it herself? - She did.

              It's a Madonna and Child, no pun intended.

              It's not bad, really.

              That's me breast-feeding.

              Yeah, I got that.

              Did you hear me dedicate a song to her?

              - I didn't hear that. - I did.

              In 'Where's the Party.'

              I said, 'This one's for Moira, my childhood idol.'

              I remember praying to Madonna, to her mother Madonna.

              It was the closest thing to God.

              When her mom died, I was a little girl and I couldn't--

              I remember feeling...

              really sad and...

              really awful.

              But I don't know that anybody went--

              I don't remember hugging Madonna and telling her I'm sorry...

              'cause I didn't understand.

              I was seven and she was five.

              So I just wanted to go back and hug her.

              Little girl

              Don't you forget her face

              Laughing away your tears

              When she was the one who felt all the pain

              Little girl

              Never forget her eyes

              Keep them alive inside

              I promise to try

              But it's not the same

              I hadn't been to the cemetery since I was a young girl.

              We used to go right after she died.

              My mother's death was a big mystery to me when I was a child.

              And no one really explained it.

              What I remember most about her...

              was that she was--

              She was very kind and very gentle and very feminine.

              I guess she seemed like an angel to me...

              but I suppose everybody thinks their mother's an angel when they're five.

              I also know she was really religious...

              so I never really understood why she was taken away from us.

              It seemed so unfair.

              I never thought that she had done something wrong...

              so oftentimes I wondered what I had done wrong.

              Does she hear my voice

              In the night when I call

              Wipe away all your tears

              It's gonna be all right

              I fought to be so strong

              I guess you knew

              I was afraid

              You'd go away too

              I wonder what she looks like now.

              Just a bunch of dust.

              I'm going to fit in right here.

              They're gonna bury me sideways.

              You've got to forget the past

              And learn to forgive me

              I promise to try

              But feels like a lie

              Don't let memory

              Play games with your mind

              She's a faded smile

              Frozen in time

              I'm still hangin' on

              But I'm doin' it wrong

              I don't want to stay here anymore.

              Can't kiss her good-bye

              But I promise to try

              This is a show...

              that I have no idea what is gonna happen to my voice.

              I don't know where it's gonna come from, but give me a voice...

              and let me put on a great show tonight.

              And let everybody do the same, amen.

              It's like a dream

              No end and no beginning

              You're here with me

              Let the choir sing

              Stand back, please.

              Now say--



              Great. Take a breath.

              - Good. - This is crazy.

              - Nobody talks about this on film? - Talks about what?

              The insanity of doing this all on a documentary.

              - Why? - This is a serious matter, your throat.

              Why should I stop here?

              - But does anyone say it? - Who's 'anyone'?

              Anyone that comes into this insane atmosphere.

              You realize they feel it when they come into this atmosphere.

              When they come to wherever you are, they feel crazy.

              - Now, do they talk about it? - No. They accept it.

              - Why don't they talk about it? - 'Cause.

              - You want to think about that. - No, I don't.

              Let's get back to my throat.

              Do you want to talk at all off camera?

              She doesn't want to live off camera, much less talk.

              There's nothing to say off camera.

              Why would you say something if it's off camera?

              What point is there, existing?

              Eventually, I had to admit that I was a human being...

              and agreed to cancel some shows.

              What did she say?

              I was told by the doctor that I couldn't speak...

              and I had to write everything down on paper.

              Melissa, my assistant, became...

              my only link to the outside world.

              In a lot of ways, New York and the time I spent there...

              while I was sick was the hardest on her.

              Since I was staying in my apartment in New York...

              I lost contact with the dancers.

              I had to give all my messages to Melissa.

              Through Melissa I heard they were finding a lot to keep themselves busy.

              I guess I was a little jealous their lives were going on without me.

              Donna Delory, Madonna's backup singer...

              also dancer on the tour.

              - Donna, good to have you with us. - It's great to be here.

              Who choreographed that 'Like A Virgin' number?

              Who do you think?

              Warren Beatty.

              So, Warren.

              You know, Donna, I was reading the radio bible...

              which I happen to have a copy of here.

              That thing is so wrong.

              Let me read this first, then you can comment.

              'Madonna Dumps Beatty For a Black Dancer.'

              It talks about Slam.

              'Madonna Swaps Beatty For Dancer    Years Younger.'

              First of all, that guy's name is Oliver.

              These guys are so wrong, they didn't get the name right.

              This is my first time ever working with fags.

              I'm the only straight guy, and it's six of them.

              We're here. We're queer. Get used to it.

              Oh, my God. You know what else I hate?

              Have you ever seen...

              Luis walk in just underwear...

              in front of a whole bunch of people?

              Just walk around in bikini, just underwear.

              Don't have no respect for these people.

              We know that he's a fag, or gay, or whatever you want to call it...

              but you don't have to show it to everybody.

              - We know you're happy. - Hi, boys.

              We know you're glad to be it, but you don't have to show it...

              Iet everybody know that you're a fag.

              Work, girl!

              It was scary. It really was.

              They wanted me.

              And their thing was: On this tour, we're gonna get him.

              That's what they told me.

              When the show started up again, everything felt different.

              There was so much tension. I blamed myself.

              I felt like a mother who'd deserted her kids...

              then comes back home to realize how much trouble they've gotten into.

              Don't touch my man, okay?

              If you're going with that property, you're wrong, baby.

              'Madonna Swaps Beatty For Dancer    Years Younger.

              Madonna has dumped her lover, Warren Beatty, for a young dancer...

              with the body of a Greek god and the stamina of a super stud.

              The new love in her life is   -year-old Oliver Crumes...

              also known as Slam.

              I just want to tell you that...

              I don't think you're guilty for that thing in the magazine.

              I'm not worried about the magazine.

              Oliver, look.

              There are always going to be queens on the rag.

              You have to expect that of me.

              You got some press, and they're jealous.

              'The fact that he's black means nothing to Madonna.

              She's attracted to him, body and heart.

              But not mind.

              All that matters is your relationship with me...

              and not what you do onstage every night.

              I think it's silly.

              - You know it's all bullshit. - I know.

              Then why let it bother you?

              I'm not letting them guys bother me.

              A lot of crazy shit is happening right now.

              Everybody's gonna have to get over their ego and pull this group together.

              Please try to rise above it, okay?

              Don't let it get to you. All right?

              And please don't give me attitude, because I won't tolerate it.

              Is that it?

              I understand. I'm just asking, is that it?

              Yeah, that's it.

              'During auditions for her Blond Ambition tour...

              she flirted with him openly from day one.

              He wasn't the best of the hundreds of dancers auditioning.

              - That's right. - You can say that again.

               Sometimes I think...

                'Oliver, can you really dance? Should you be on this tour?'

                That's the way I feel sometimes, and it's not good.

                It gets to me.

                Listen, you guys, I just want to reiterate...

                this thing about Oliver and stuff.

                Please don't pick on him. I'm not protecting him.

                To tell you the truth, I haven't said a word to him since I got here.

                But he's gone. I don't know where he is.

                He's hiding. You three together can be pretty ferocious.

                So be nice to him.

                He doesn't have the thick skin that you have.

                He doesn't have the survival techniques you guys have.

                And I want him to perform in the show.

                - Thank you. - No problem.

                I don't believe that you don't remember things like that.

                How could Sharon not know what happened to her?

                She thinks someone drugged her.

                She said she was at the club dancing.

                The next thing she knew was that she woke up...

                in her room, nude, and her stuff was stolen.

                She went to the bathroom. Her butt was bleeding.

                I'm sorry I'm laughing. It's so--

                That's all she remembers.

                She said she wasn't drinking. She had cranberry juice.

                That's all she had.

                They drugged her ass.

                All I can think of is that she started talking about...

                how she's on tour with me, she's staying at the Ritz Carlton...

                and those guys got it in their mind they were going to fuck with her.

                I never thought that something like that would happen to me.

                I was fine. I was normal. I was with the--

                Most victims do. They never thought--

                I never thought something like that would happen to me.

                It was a nice club. It was really nice.

                I was just dancing with these boys.

                We were just like-- Like this, and--

                I was totally sober.

                You can ask my friend and these other girls I saw.

                Then the next thing I know--

                I wake up this morning--

                I ain't never gonna go out by myself again.

                Never going out by myself again. I'm going to stick with you guys.

                It was days like that...

                that I was reminded just how young the dancers really were.

                What was really strange was that this last show in New York...

                was an AIDS benefit in memory of a friend of mine...

                a really good friend of mine...

                who had died--

                Here I was, getting ready to go onstage...

                to supposedly convince and inspire thousands of people...

                to get unified and to fight the prejudice...

                you know, that--

                I couldn't even inspire seven dancers.

                All right.

                I think everybody's feeling a lot better...

                today than they were a couple of days ago.

                I'm not worried about the show.

                What I am worried about and want to say a prayer about...

                is the way people have been behaving.

                I don't care what you did with your life before this tour.

                I don't care what you do with them afterwards.

                But while you're working with me and doing this show...

                you will treat everyone in this group...

                with kindness, compassion and respect.

                I don't want to hear about it anymore. There's too much pain in the world.

                I want you to treat yourselves with kindness and respect.

                A lot of crazy shit has been happening.

                We have to start looking out for each other.

                And we have to start loving ourselves a little bit more...

                and loving the person standing next to us a little bit more.

                Seeing how this is our last show in New York...

                and our last show...

                in the United States...

                and we are dedicating it to Keith Haring...

                who doesn't have the luxury of being alive, like we do...

                I beg You...

                to let me and everybody in this room rise above all of our problems...

                and go out there on that stage tonight...

                and give the best performance of our lives.

                Do this one for Keith.


                That's all. Everybody, have a great show.

                Places, please!

                Prayer's over.

                Places. Have a good show.

                - Why did I do that? - That's all right.

                - It's gonna be a great show. - I hope I can sing.

                I hope we all can now.

                Do I have mousse in my hair?

                One more time for the States? Should we try to have a holiday?

                Yeah, right.



                Come together in every nation



                If we took a holiday

                Took some time to celebrate

                Just one day out of life


                It would be

                It would be so nice

                We can turn this world around

                And bring back all of those happy days

                Put your troubles down Come on now

                It's time to celebrate

                Let love shine

                And we will find

                A way to come together

                We can make things better

                We need a holiday

                All right, everybody!

                Do the bus stop!

                Oh, yeah!

                Let me hear ya!

                Now let me hear you scream!

                You sing.

                If we took a holiday

                Everything would be okay

                All right, everybody.

                Let me hear you say 'Ho'!

                All together now.

                When we finally got to Europe...

                there was such an overwhelming sense of relief.

                After all the tension and darkness, Europe just felt so glamorous...

                and new and exciting.

                - Don't make her strike a pose. - I've been living for Chanel.

                Shopping can really cheer a girl up.

                Now, you boys better do what I say.

                - Second grade teacher. - Miss Crabtree.

                Or Miss Brooks.

                That's a perfect fit.

                It's very 'obey everything I say.'

                Yeah, it's like very Janet Jackson, Rhythm Nation.

                Bite your tongue.

                Do you have any simpler earrings than these?

                They make you look beautiful.

                Earrings don't make people look beautiful.

                Money makes people look beautiful.

                Hello. Gautier, listen, I told you.

                Hi. Who's this? I'm fine.

                Can I help you?

                Would you like anyone in particular?

                What's your name?


                Chanelta needs a salesgirl downstairs now.

                Bye-bye. Thank you.

                Bye. Thanks.

                Happy birthday

                Dear Melissa

                Yo, Mel. This is your birthday poem.

                'Way back in the beginning...

                when I started all of my sinning...

                I needed a partner in crime, you could say...

                so I went on a search and I started to pray.

                I walked into my manager's office one morn.

                I was mouthing out loud in my usual form.

                As my eyes toured the room, my poor heart skipped a beat...

                for there in the corner was the picture of sweet.

                She was glued to the phone. She was bathed in pastels.

                Her Lee press-ons were setting.

                They were longer than hell.

                I turned and I winked and I said...

                Hey, Miss Muffett, you think you can work for a bitch?

                Can you tough it?

                I'm gagging! No way! Get me outta this dump!

                I said, Hey, Freddy, find a new girl to pump.

                So the rest is like history. Legend, okay?

                You want to hear dish? She don't play it that way.

                How can I thank you, my sweet Melly-Mel?

                You pick up my shit and my undies that smell.

                You shield me from assholes and take all their calls.

                You buy me my Tampax and rubbers and all.

                Size large.

                'Now, you can't count on much in this life. I should know.

                But I guess I got lucky. I found me a pro.

                She still lives in the Valley...

                but her press-ons are gone.

                She still goes out with jocks...

                but she sips Dom Perignon.

                But without you, I'm nothing. I'm gagging, Miss Thing.

                If you ever leave me, I'm gonna fuckin' kill myself.

                Those first few weeks in Europe were almost perfect.

                It felt like the Partridge Family world tour.

                Sort of.


                Don't do it! He's a tramp!

                He's a slut!

                Suck it.

                Come in only if you're a man.

                Girls, I'm here. Mama Makeup.

                Tell Jai Winding that he doesn't come into 'Prayer.'

                When I ask him to play the record, I'm going to say--

                - Voulez-vous will you kiss my dick? - 'Will you play my record?'

                One-track fucking mind, okay.

                Here comes the bride

                All dressed in white

                Oh, that's really good.

                I just pray I remember...

                that I have to speak French and English.

                World tour in the year     .

                Like a virgin

                I got the moves, baby You got the lotion

                They don't even let Zsa Zsa Gabor in this hotel.

                - Why not? - Because she's a cochonne.

                Didn't know how lost I was

                Until I found you

                I was beat, incomplete

                I was sad I was hurt and blue

                But you made me feel

                The audiences have been great.

                Every show just keeps getting better and better.

                So let us just have one more great show...

                where everybody kicks ass and has a great time.

                I'm fuckin' pissed, okay?

                Okay, what are you fuckin' lookin' at, huh?

                When I'm pissed off, I gotta express myself.

                You know what I'm fuckin' saying?

                Sorry about that, Lenny.

                Halfway through Europe, my bubble burst.

                I started hearing reports from ltaly...

                that the Vatican was trying to ban the show.

                I am an ltalian-American, and I am proud of it...

                proud of being an American...

                because it is the country I grew up in...

                the country that gave me the opportunities...

                to be who I am today...

                and a country that believes in freedom of speech...

                and artistic expression.

                I have a tale to tell

                Sometimes it gets so hard

                To hide it well

                I was not ready

                For the fall

                Too blind to see

                The writing on the wall

                A man can tell a thousand lies

                I've learned my lesson well

                I hope I live to tell

                The secret I have learned

                Till then

                It will burn inside of me

                Truth is never far behind

                You've kept it hidden well

                If I live to tell the secret

                I knew then

                Will I

                Ever have the chance again

                My show is not a conventional rock show...

                but a theatrical presentation of my music.

                And, like theater...

                it asks questions...

                provokes thoughts and takes you on an emotional journey...

                portraying good and bad, light and dark...

                joy and sorrow...

                redemption and salvation.

                I do not endorse a way of life...

                but describe one...

                and the audience is left to make its own decisions and judgments.

                This is what I consider freedom of speech...

                freedom of expression and freedom of thought.

                Every night, before I go onstage...

                I say a prayer...

                not only that my show will go well...

                but that the audience will watch...

                with an open heart and an open mind...

                and see it as a celebration...

                of love, life and humanity.

                If I ran away

                I'd never have the strength

                To get very far

                How could they hear

                The beating of my heart

                Will it grow cold

                The secret that I hide

                Will I grow old

                How will they hear

                When will they learn

                How will they know

                The controversy stayed with me all through ltaly and...

                eventually I had to cancel two shows.

                I got my period suddenly early this month.

                Look. This is my gym.

                You want to use it?

                - If you ever do, you can. - Sandra--

                Born-- Boin-- Or something.

                I forgot her last name. Sometimes I can't pronounce it.

                - You know who I'm talking about. - Try pronouncing it.


                Whatever her name was...

                that's one of her best friends.

                I had those dreams when my mother died.

                For like a five-year period after that, that's all I dreamed about--

                that people were jumping on me and strangling me...

                and I was constantly screaming for my father...

                and no sound would come out.

                What happened when you woke up? You were crying?

                I'd be sweating and afraid and have to go sleep with my father.

                Was that before he got remarried?

                How was that when you slept with him?

                Fine. I went right to sleep after he fucked me. I'm just kidding.

                Was he sweet to you?

                Of course.

                Barngard. Barnyard. Something.

                Anyway, you know, she's scary.

                So, I had a little fling with another art world person.

                Oh, should I guess?

                An art dealer?

                - A gallery owner. - She's pretty sexy.

                There's something about her.

                She looks like if she was having sex with someone...

                she looks like she'd get a rope and strap you to the bed.

                Ooh, baby! Ow!

                - I saw her before I left. - Really? How unfortunate.

                I'm like a drug addict, you know?

                Are you still sleeping with her?

                Are you still fucking with her?

                - Once in a-- - I don't like her.

                I don't either. Believe me, it's sickening.

                I don't like the people I sleep with either.

                That's why you sleep with them-- 'cause they're hideous.

                By the time this comes out, it won't matter anymore.

                By the time this comes out, she'll have fucked you over.

                She already did.

                You know, when I got to meet her and whatever...

                you know, she was pretty cool.

                I'm so desperate.

                - For what, honey? - For some fun. It's all work.

                - What kind of fun do you want to have? - This is fun to me.

                All I do is hang out with everybody in the show.

                - After a while, it gets boring. - Who do you want to meet next?

                Who do I want to meet next?

                Who would really blow you away?

                I think I've met everybody.

                Just tell me one person.

                That would really blow me away?

                Who would really rock your world?

                The guy that's in all of Pedro Almodovar's movies.

                - Antonio Bandares. - I know him.

                Antonio Bandares was this Spanish actor...

                that I've had a crush on for two years.

                He's in all of Pedro Almodovar's movies.

                I love Pedro's movies.

                I've seen every movie Antonio's ever done.

                I have to say he's one of the few actors...

                that I was really dying to meet.

                We get to Madrid, and it turns out...

                that Pedro wants to throw this dinner party for me.

                Of course, Antonio's going to be there.

                And so here I am.

                I spend the whole week psyching myself up for this party...

                and I've got it worked out in my head.

                I'm going to make Antonio fall madly in love with me.

                Only there is this one obstacle that I'd never counted on:

                - his wife. - You want?

                I've been wanting to meet Antonio for years.

                I finally get to meet him, and he's married.

                -I am. -That's one of life's little fuck-overs.

                Don't worry. I'm just kidding.


                - Oh, wow! - This is Juan, Spanish star, too.

                - Actor, singer. - Nice to meet you. Are you married?

                - Dancer. - Are you married?

                Bye! Bye-bye!

                Hey, knock it off, fellas.

                - What's wrong, baby? - I've got to go drown my sorrows.

                - Girl, you're ready to snatch him. - I'm putting my head in the toilet.

                Don't do it till we get home.

                I said to Ricky, 'Fuck. This is such a disaster. He's married.'

                He goes, 'ln Spain it doesn't matter. You can have whatever you want.'

                - Just like in ltaly. - Good thing I don't live here.

                I would be a fighting bitch.

                Is that man beautiful, or what?

                There's gotta be something wrong with him.

                He probably has a really small penis.

                There's gotta be something wrong with him. Nobody's that perfect.

                I'm gonna go back in the room, and who am I going to flirt with?

                - I know who. - That little shit.

                The guy next to us.

                Oh, my beautiful men.

                I will sue them both. Go!

                - Yes. - You have to call me.

                I'll call you.

                - Tomorrow, right? - Yes, yes, I'll call you.


                Needless to say, I never saw or heard from Antonio again.

                I don't think he's such a good actor after all.

                Were there any messages?

                No messages.

                Madonna! Madonna!

                My sleeping pill didn't wear off yet.


                if I start acting like Joey Heatherton, you'll understand.

                Even when I feel like shit, they still love me.

                I think Madonna's a lot happier now than on the last tour.

                She's happy with the effect she's had.

                But I think there's a part of her life that makes her unhappy.

                I don't think she takes enough time...

                to appreciate and enjoy her success.

                She only thinks of the dance steps she might have missed or--

                Madonna does feel more in control...

                when she doesn't extend her personal emotion...

                her love, her exposure to sensitivity too much.

                Madonna's very difficult to reach.

                She's put up many barriers.

                I'm sure she's going through a lot with these things...

                'cause there's not many people she can trust and get close to...

                'cause I'm sure everyone wants something from her.

                She's fishing for affection.

                I suppose she's fishing for people who can be real and honest with her.

                I don't really think anybody is honest with her...

                except for maybe me.

                I'm certainly not honest all the time.

                We're all seeking Madonna's approval to some degree.

                Sometimes I feel like she really trusts me...

                and sometimes I feel like she's not really looking at me.

                Madonna has a hard time connecting...

                and giving herself away to any one person.

                I feel like she's-- Madonna's very in the moment.

                She's very impatient. Madonna's quite impatient.

                It's just 'cause she wants things done.

                She has a lot to do. She has a busy life.

                She's definitely in a race against time.

                Everything is subject to her approval...

                or disapproval.

                Everything has to do with what she wants, what she doesn't want...

                how it should look, where it should go, what it should be.

                It's very tense.

                She's unhappy a lot of the time. She's a bitch sometimes.

                Madonna can be mean, if she wants to. We all can.

                A nice, relaxing morning.

                - I love it when she's mean. - She hasn't been a bitch to me.

                She knows what she's doing. She knows how to work.

                That's probably why she's such a big star.

                I feel like she's a little girl lost in a storm sometimes.

                There's just like a whole whirlwind of things...

                going on around her and...

                sometimes she gets caught up in it.

                Strike a pose.

                Vogue, vogue, vogue

                Look around

                Everywhere you turn is heartache

                It's everywhere that you go

                Look around

                You try everything you can to escape

                The pain of life that you know

                When all else fails and you long to be

                Something better than you are today

                I know a place

                Where you can get away

                It's called a dance floor

                And here's what it's for

                So come on, vogue

                Let your body move to the music

                Hey, hey, hey

                Let your body go with the flow

                You know you can do it

                All you need is your own imagination

                So use it That's what it's for

                Go inside for your finest inspiration

                - Your dreams will open the door - Open up the door

                It makes no difference if you're black or white

                If you're a boy or a girl

                The music's pumping It will give you new life

                You're a superstar Yes, that's what you are

                Let your body groove to the music

                Groove to the music

                Beauty's where you find it

                Not just where you bump and grind it

                Soul is in the musical

                That's where I feel so beautiful


                Life's a ball

                So get up on the dance floor

                To a roomful of people that I admire...

                that I appreciate, that I adore...

                that I love...

                and that I would all separately at one time or another...

                Iike to smack the shit out of.

                Anyway, cheers.

                To fashion.

                To love. To I'amour.

                Grace Kelly, Harlow, Jean

                Picture of a beauty queen

                Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire

                Ginger Rogers dance on air

                They had style They had grace

                Rita Hayworth gave good face

                Lauren, Katharine, Lana too

                Bette Davis, we love you

                Ladies with an attitude Fellas that were in the mood

                Don't just stand there Let's get to it

                Strike the pose There's nothing to it

                You got to let your body move

                To the music

                You got to just

                Let your body go with the flow

                Truth or dare, Madonna?

                - Want to play? - Right now?

                Have you ever been fucked up the ass?

                - Truth or dare? - Dare.

                You fucked up.

                Unzip your pants and take your dick out.

                You have to do it! Oh, bravo!

                Oh, my God.

                Come on! You could sit down and do it.

                - No way! - Way!

                Dare. Come on.

                That's what she told you to do.

                I'm afraid to look.

                It's fucking blue!

                Slam, truth or dare?


                French kiss Gabriel.

                He's up and he's ready!

                Look out!

                Work him!

                They want this. They want this to happen.

                - Grab that head! - Oh, yes!

                Get it done. Get the job done.

                - Goddamn it! - Oh, my God!

                I'm getting a hard-on, okay?

                Just beautiful.

                There, buddy.

                Madonna, truth or dare?

                - Dare. - Dare?

                Show us with that bottle how you give head.

                Stand up and come down on it.

                You're not asking the question, motherfucker.

                You're not performing either.

                Oh, my-- Oh, my God!


                Encore! She swallows!

                - Madonna, truth or dare? - Truth.

                Who has been the love of your life in your whole life?

                My whole life?

                - Sean. - Your mama.

                I'm in my dressing room sometimes and I think to myself...

                'Who do I think I am, trying to pull this off?'

                And sometimes I'm very much--

                I can only allow myself to think it once in a while...

                because if I do, I'm gone.

                And that is, I think of you guys...

                sitting in your dressing room going...

                'Who does this bitch think she is?'

                I got the moves, baby

                You got the motion

                If we got together we'd be causing a commotion

                I know I'm not the best singer and not the best dancer...

                but I'm not interested in that.

                I'm interested in pushing people's buttons...

                and being provocative and political.

                It doesn't matter if you win or lose

                It's how you play the game so get into the groove

                You both could have anything you wanted, if you want it.

                That's where I'm at right now. I don't know if I want it.

                It ain't all fuckin' hunky-dory.

                I hope you find what you're looking for

                Is it mine Walk through that door

                We're wasting time

                Make up your mind

                Get into the groove

                - You knew you wanted to be a star. - But don't you?

                You wanted to say what you wanted to say.

                You don't want to be in touch?

                Oh, yeah, pick on the little girl.

                Get over here!

                Carlton, come to Mommy. Get in bed.

                This is the moment I've been waiting for.

                I'm finally alone in bed with you.

                - Slam, take your shirt off. - You want me to take it off?

                Pull the sheets up so it looks like you're naked.

                Yes, of course.

                - Oh, I'm so shocked. - Oh, my God.

                I'm gagging.

                - Why are you wearing your underwear? - Why not? I'm in bed.

                - Did you walk here in your underpants? - You're acting like me.

                If he doesn't sleep with-- Wait. I'm talking.

                You know what that means.

                I just think life is unfair. Here I am.

                Everybody thinks I have everything I want, but I want you and can't have you.

                You shouldn't have any more sex.

                You should build an altar to me in your home...

                and worship it daily...

                and call me collect.

                - I've called him insane. - You're the only woman I love.

                You lied, Luis! Now I'm going to beat you up.

                I wouldn't hire fags that hate women.

                I kill fags that hate women.

                In fact, I kill anybody that hates women.

                In fact, I'll kill anybody that hates...

                because I hate people that hate.

                Ollie, I hate you.

                I hate you because you're beautiful and you're a fuck.

                I hate you.

                You're sweating, and you smell!

                Oh, your dick is big.

                Come on.

                My aunt wrote a book called Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them.

                - You should read it. - I think I helped her write it.

                - All right. You want it. - Pupils.

                Did I hurt you? Good.

                Get out of my bed.

                Don't come back until your dick is bigger.

                See how you won't get away from me?

                Don't leave me.

                Get out now, or I'm calling the police.

                What's wrong?

                - My life is really complicated. - If I have to leave, hand me my pants.

                I'd rather die!

                Get out! Get out, you bastard!

                Smell them.

                I'm outta here. I'm leaving.

                Oh, look. Does anybody give a shit?

                Don't ever come back. I hate you. Next.

                - I'd give you the shirt off my back. - Take it off, girl.

                Take if off!

                It's not time for a feeding! Get away!

                She's been trying to feed the boys. Feel better now?

                Madonna's Vegas show.

                What do we think of people that have body parts that aren't real?

                But we love you anyway, Madonna.

                Honey, my titties are the real thing.

                Who said anything about titties?

                You mean my hair?

                Keep going.

                - What's not real? - Everything's real on you.

                - They just don't think so. - I think so.

                - I'm real, you guys. - Except for the pearls.

                - They are, too, real. - All of them?

                Madonna can't afford real pearls

                I can so! I'm rich. I can have anything I want.

                She sleeps with boots!

                Do we want to be accepted by Hollywood?

                Do we care what people think of us?

                Do we want people to kiss our ass?

                Yeah, we do.

                But do we want to have an 'R' rating or an 'X' rating?


                'X' for extra fun!

                One child grows up to be

                Somebody who just loves to learn

                And another child

                Grows up to be

                Somebody you'd just love to burn

                Mom loves

                The both of them

                You see it's in the blood

                Both kids are good to Mom

                Blood's thicker than the mud

                It's a family affair

                Keep people together

                It's a family affair

                Hi, hi, hi!

                - Hello. - Hello, love.

                Well, well, well.

                If it isn't my lovely family.

                Aren't we just having a lovely time?

                A lovely time.

                'Cause I've got something to say to you.

                Keep people together

                Keep people together forever and ever

                We're a wild and crazy bunch.

                Yeah, that's right.

                All right, love. Take me where I'm going.

                This is what I call traveling in style.

                Yeah, that's right. Thank you, Ollie.

                All right. Formation.

                I've hit the big time

                But I still get the blues

                Everyone's a stranger

                City life can get to you

                People can be so cold

                Never want to turn your back

                Just giving to get something

                Always wanting something back

                When I get lonely

                And I need to be loved for who I am

                Not what they want to see

                Brothers and sisters

                They've always been there for me

                We have a connection

                Home is where the heart should be

                Keep it together in the family

                They're a reminder of your history

                Brothers and sisters they hold the key

                To your heart and your soul

                Don't forget that your family is gold

                When I look back

                On all the misery

                And all the heartache that they brought to me

                I wouldn't change it for another chance

                'Cause blood is thicker

                Than any other circumstance

                All right, time for a little bit of the old in-out, you know.

                The family that plays together stays together.

                Here we go.


                Two! Come on, love.

                One, two. One, two, three. Hit it!

                Unfortunately, Europe...

                it's time for us to say bonsoir.

                To all of our families.

                You're my family.

                Yeah, that's right.

                And never forget...

                that your family is your friend.

                Yeah, that's right.

                And never doubt that without them...

                you are nothing.

                Yeah, that's right.

                But most of all and most importantly...

                never doubt yourselves.

                Yeah, that's right.

                Come on, ladies. On your knees.

                Aren't they lovely?

                It's okay.


                - What are you thinking about? - You.

                Bye. I love you.

                You're so big, Carlton.

                And you're such a lady.

                - Bye, baby. - Bye, you guys.

                Don't get into any catfights on the way home.

                - Ready? - Yes, Mom.

                Let's say our good night prayer.

                All right.

                Now I lay me down to sleep.

                I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

                If I should die before I wake...

                I pray the Lord my soul to take.

                God bless:

                - Did I forget anyone? - Carlton.

                - That's right. - He's an adopted child.

                - It's time to say good night. - Am I adopted?

                Time to say good night, everybody.

                I want some ice cream.

                - I want some vanilla ice cream. - Shut up, Carlton.

                Close your eyes.

                Dream some dreams.

                I gotta pee.

                Just pee in bed.

                - You know what he's doing? - Not on me.

                Don't say anything.

                Good night, boys and girls.

                Good night, Madonna.

                Good night, Niki-Ellen.

                Good night, paupers.

                Good night, Chita.

                Good night, Lou.

                Who farted?

                Shut up! Shut up and go to sleep!

                She smelled it.

                She smelled it, and she dealt it.

                You stinky. You stinker.

                Somebody farted boots.

                Somebody farted!

                Nuclear testing!

                Oh, gross.

                I smell boots!

                We're smelling boots!

                I think I got my period.

                You guys. Shut up!

                Ow! She hurt me!

                Sleepy time.

                I said shut up!

                I'm going to press this thing. I'm going to press power.

                When I press it, the camera's going to go off instantly.

                Go away!

                Cut it. Cut it, Alec.

                Cut it, goddamn it.

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