Magnolia Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Magnolia script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Paul Thomas Anderson movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Magnolia. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

Magnolia Script


   

                   

In the "New York Herald..."



 

                   

November 26, year... 1911...



 

                   

there is an account

of the hanging of three men.



 

                   

They died for the murder

of Sir Edmund William Godfrey...



 

                   

husband, father, pharmacist...



 

                   

and all-around

gentleman resident of...



 

                   

Greenberry Hill, London.



 

                   

He was murdered

by three vagrants...



 

                   

whose motive was simple robbery.



  

                   

They were identified as...



  

                   

Joseph Green...



  

                   

Stanley Berry...



  

                   

and Daniel Hill.



  

                   

Green, Berry, Hill.



  

                   

And I would like to think this

was only a matter of chance.



  

                   

As reported

in the "Reno Gazette..."



  

                   

June of     ...



  

                   

there is the story of a fire...



  

                   

the water that it took

to contain the fire...



  

                   

and a scuba diver

named Delmer Darion.



  

                   

Employee of the Nugget Hotel

and Casino, Reno, Nevada...



  

                   

engaged as a blackjack dealer.



  

                   

Well-liked and well-regarded...



  

                   

as a physical, recreational,

and sporting sort...



  

                   

Delmer's true passion

was for the lake.



  

                   

As reported by the coroner,

Delmer died of a heart attack...



  

                   

somewhere between

the lake and the tree...



  

                   

but most curious side note...



  

                   

is the suicide the next day

of Craig Hansen...



  

                   

volunteer fire-fighter,

estranged father of four...



  

                   

and a poor tendency to drink.



  

                   

Mr. Hansen was the pilot of

the plane that accidentally...



  

                   

lifted Delmer Darion

out of the water.



  

                   

Added to this,

Mr. Hansen's tortured life...



  

                   

met before with Delmer Darion

just two nights previous.



  

                   

All I need is a two.



  

                   

All you need is a deuce.

All right.



  

                   

That is an eight.



  

                   

Glad you like my work.

Moment of truth.



  

                   

The weight of the guilt...



  

                   

and the measure

of coincidence so large...



  

                   

Craig Hansen took his life.



  

                   

And I am trying to think...



  

                   

this was all only

a matter of chance.



  

                   

The tale told

at a      awards dinner...



  

                   

for the American Association

of Forensic Science...



  

                   

by Dr. John Harper,

president of the association...



  

                   

began with

a simple suicide attempt.



  

                   

Seventeen-year-old

Sydney Barringer...



  

                   

in the city of Los Angeles

on March        .



  

                   

The coroner ruled that

the unsuccessful suicide...



  

                   

had suddenly become

a successful homicide.



  

                   

To explain... the suicide

was confirmed by a note...



  

                   

in the right hip pocket

of Sydney Barringer.



  

                   

At the same time young Sydney

stood on the ledge...



  

                   

an argument swelled

three stories below.



  

                   

The neighbours heard,

as they usually did...



  

                   

the arguing of the tenants...



  

                   

and it was not uncommon

for them...



  

                   

to threaten each other

with a shotgun...



  

                   

or one of the many handguns

kept in the house.



  

                   

I'm going to put you down!



  

                   

And when the shotgun

accidentally went off...



  

                   

You asshole!



  

                   

Sydney just happened to pass.



  

                   

What?



  

                   

Shut the fuck up!



  

                   

Added to this,

the tenants turned out to be...



  

                   

Fay and Arthur Barringer...



  

                   

Sydney's mother and father.



  

                   

When confronted

with the charge...



  

                   

which took some figuring out

for the officers on the scene...



  

                   

Fay Barringer swore she did not

know the gun was loaded.



  

                   

She always threatens me with it,

but I don't keep it loaded.



  

                   

And you didn't load the gun?



  

                   

Why would I load the gun?



  

                   

A young boy

who lived in the building...



  

                   

sometimes a visitor and friend

to Sydney Barringer...



  

                   

said that he had seen,

six days prior...



  

                   

the loading of the shotgun.



  

                   

Ricky, come here a minute.



  

                   

It seems that all

the arguing and fighting...



  

                   

and violence was far too much

for Sydney Barringer...



  

                   

and knowing his mother and

father's tendency to fight...



  

                   

he decided to do something.



  

                   

He said he wanted them

to kill each other...



  

                   

and all they wanted to do

was to kill each other...



  

                   

and he would help them do that

if that's what they wanted.



  

                   

Sydney Barringer jumps

from the ninth floor rooftop.



  

                   

His parents argue

three stories below.



  

                   

Her accidental shotgun blast

hits Sydney in the stomach...



  

                   

as he passes the arguing

sixth floor window.



  

                   

He is killed instantly,

but continues to fall...



  

                   

only to find,

five stories below...



  

                   

a safety net

installed three days prior...



  

                   

for a set of window washers

that would've broken his fall...



  

                   

and saved his life... if not

for the hole in his stomach.



  

                   

So Fay Barringer was charged

with the murder of her son...



  

                   

and Sydney Barringer noted as

an accomplice in his own death.



   

                   

And it is in the humble opinion

of this narrator...



   

                   

that this is not just

"something that happened."



   

                   

This cannot be

"one of those things."



   

                   

This, please, cannot be that.



   

                   

And for what

I would like to say, I can't.



   

                   

This was not just

a matter of chance.



   

                   

These strange things

happen all the time.



   

                   

In this big game

that we play, life...



   

                   

it's not what you hope for

or deserve...



   

                   

it's what you take.



   

                   

I'm Frank T.J. Mackey,

a master of the muffin...



   

                   

and author of the

"Seduce and Destroy" system...



   

                   

now available to you

on audio and video cassette.



   

                   

"Seduce and Destroy"

will teach you the techniques...



   

                   

to have any hard-body blonde

just dripping to wet your dock.



   

                   

Bottom line? Language.



   

                   

The magical key to unlocking

the female analytical mindset.



   

                   

Tap directly

into her hopes, her wants...



   

                   

her fears, her desires,

and her sweet little panties.



   

                   

Learn how to make

that lady "friend"...



   

                   

your sex-starved servant.



   

                   

"Seduce and Destroy" produces

a money-back guaranteed...



   

                   

trance-like state

that will get you...



   

                   

the naughty sauce you want fast.



   

                   

How many more times...



   

                   

do you need to hear

the all-too-famous line...



   

                   

So?



   

                   

"I just don't feel

that way about you"?



   

                   

For over thirty years,

America has hung out...



   

                   

and answered questions

with Jimmy Gator...



   

                   

an American legend

and a true television icon.



   

                   

Jimmy celebrates his      th

hour of broadcast this week.



   

                   

Have I been around that long?



   

                   

He's a family man who's been

married for over forty years...



   

                   

with two children

and one grandchild on the way.



   

                   

We've tuned in each day to see

the human interaction...



   

                   

between Jimmy

and some very special kids...



   

                   

and we hope there's thirty more

years of watching that happen.



   

                   

I'm Jimmy Gator.



   

                   

Donald W. Winnicott.



   

                   

    . North America.

South America.



   

                   

The answer is four.

Twenty-two. Gravity.



   

                   

The answer is

"The Life of Samuel Johnson."



   

                   

Let's go. You should've

done that ten minutes ago.



   

                   

- We need more dog food.

- Talk in the car.



   

                   

Look, I got

a serious audition today.



   

                   

Come on. That one, too?



   

                   

I need this one.



   

                   

I don't understand why you need

  bags of books to go to school.



   

                   

There's no reason

for this many backpacks.



   

                   

- Be ready at  .  .

- It should be  .  .



   

                   

I told you I got an audition.

I won't be here till  .  .



   

                   

Get your stuff.

I got to go. Love you.



   

                   

Love you, too.



   

                   

Donnie, do you have an answer?



   

                   

I do, Jimmy. Prometheus.



   

                   

It is!



   

                   

Donnie, how does it feel?



   

                   

Pretty exciting, getting braces.



   

                   

You were so cute

on that game show.



   

                   

Bet you can't answer

any questions now, though.



   

                   

- We're all set to go, Donnie.

- Good.



   

                   

I'll see you tomorrow morning.



   

                   

You're running around

like crazy, huh?



   

                   

Gonna be late for work.



   

                   

The Quiz Kid Donnie Smith!



   

                   

How's today, then?



   

                   

Fucking bullshit

is what this is.



   

                   

Fucking regrets.



   

                   

And we do these things,

move through this life.



   

                   

I'm going

to need your help, Phil.



   

                   

You got to help me

on something today.



   

                   

I'll take care.

Anything, Earl.



   

                   

You're his doctor,

and that's why.



   

                   

Tell me something.



   

                   

And he needs more pills.

Fuck it.



   

                   

He needs more pills,

and I need some answers...



   

                   

so I'm coming to see you.



   

                   

Good morning, Linda.



   

                   

I love you, my darling.



   

                   

I'll be back in a while.

I have to do some things.



   

                   

I have to see something,

and I'll be back.



   

                   

Fuck!



   

                   

Press one to hear this person's

description of themselves...



   

                   

and two to leave

a personal message of your own.



   

                   

Well, hello. This is Jim.

I work in law enforcement.



   

                   

I'm an officer for the LAPD...



   

                   

and work out of

the North Hollywood district.



   

                   

I love my job,

and I love to go to the movies.



   

                   

I try to stay physically fit.

My job demands it.



   

                   

So I'm in pretty good shape.

I'm getting up there, though.



   

                   

I'm      foot  

and weigh about    ...



   

                   

if that's important to you.



   

                   

I'm really interested

in meeting someone special...



   

                   

who likes quiet things.



   

                   

My life is very stressful...



   

                   

and I hope for a relationship

that is very calm...



   

                   

and undemanding and loving.



   

                   

If you are this person, leave me

a message at box number  - .



   

                   

Thank you.



   

                   

So much violence...



   

                   

but that's the way of the world.



   

                   

Good luck, as always.



   

                   

Serve and protect and

all that other blah-blah-blah...



   

                   

on the side of the car.



   

                   

Let me tell you something.



   

                   

This is not an easy job.



   

                   

I get a call on the radio

from dispatch.



   

                   

It's bad news...



   

                   

and it stinks.



   

                   

But this is my job,

and I love it.



   

                   

Because I want to do well.



   

                   

In this life and in this world,

I want to do well...



   

                   

and I want to help people.



   

                   

And I might get

twenty bad calls a day...



   

                   

but one time

I can help someone...



   

                   

I make a save...



   

                   

I correct a wrong

or right a situation...



   

                   

then I'm a happy cop.



   

                   

And we move through this life,

we should try and do good.



   

                   

Do good.



   

                   

And if we can do that...



   

                   

and not hurt anyone else...



   

                   

well, then...



   

                   

- Hello?

- Who is it?



   

                   

Every time I turn around,

there's something else.



   

                   

- Slow down.

- You can't just come in here!



   

                   

The door was open, ma'am.

I got a call.



   

                   

- You're not allowed to come in.

- Calm down.



   

                   

I am calm.



   

                   

I got a call to this apartment,

report of a disturbance.



   

                   

There's no disturbance.



   

                   

I got a call of a disturbance.

I want to see what's going on.



   

                   

There's no disturbance.



   

                   

Then, you got nothing

to worry about.



   

                   

You don't tell me.

I know my rights. You can't...



   

                   

Ma'am, you want to test me?



   

                   

Want to tell me

about the law book?



   

                   

You push me far enough,

I will take you to jail.



   

                   

- Now calm yourself down.

- I am calm!



   

                   

No. You are not calm.

You're screaming at me.



   

                   

Do you understand?



   

                   

I got a call of a disturbance,

and I'm checking it out.



   

                   

That is what I'm going to do.

Are you alone in here?



   

                   

I ain't got to answer you.



   

                   

No, you don't, but I'm going

to ask you one more time.



   

                   

Are you alone in here?



   

                   

What does it look like?



   

                   

- There's no one else in here?

- You in here.



   

                   

That's true,

but is there anyone else...



   

                   

besides me and you

in this house?



   

                   

No. I said that already.



   

                   

- Are you lying to me?

- I live by myself.



   

                   

That might be true, but

the question I'm asking you...



   

                   

Is there anyone else

in this house right now?



   

                   

- What is your name?

- Marcie.



   

                   

Marcie, I'm going to need you

to take a seat here.



   

                   

I prefer to stand up.



   

                   

I'm not asking.



   

                   

I didn't even do nothing!



   

                   

Move, ma'am.



   

                   

Like I was saying, I'm here

to check on a disturbance.



   

                   

Some of your neighbours heard

screaming and a loud crash.



   

                   

I don't even know no loud crash.



   

                   

- What was that?

- I didn't hear nothing.



   

                   

Sit on the couch.



   

                   

I ain't got to do

a goddamn thing.



   

                   

- What's this bullshit?

- Do not do this.



   

                   

- Do not slap me, ma'am.

- This is bullshit!



   

                   

For what? Huh?

Tell me for what!



   

                   

I asked you

to sit on the couch, ma'am.



   

                   

This is bullshit.

Fucking bullshit.



   

                   

  -L-  

I'm going to need backup.



   

                   

What the fuck is this?

It's bullshit, motherfucker!



   

                   

Stay right there, Marcie.



   

                   

Fucking bullshit,

and you know it!



   

                   

- Stay there, Marcie.

- Don't go in my bedroom!



   

                   

This is bullshit, motherfucker!

Don't go down my hallway!



   

                   

Don't go down

my motherfucking hallway!



   

                   

LAPD!



   

                   

Don't go in my goddamn bedroom!



   

                   

Come out now with your hands up!



   

                   

What'd I tell you?

Ain't nobody in there!



   

                   

Where the fuck you going,

motherfucker?



   

                   

Don't go in my goddamn bedroom!



   

                   

Stay out of

my motherfucking closet!



   

                   

What'd I tell you?



   

                   

This is the police!



   

                   

If anyone is in this closet,

come out now with your hands up.



   

                   

Marcie, do not drag

that couch any further!



   

                   

Don't do this, man!



   

                   

There's nobody

in my motherfucking closet!



   

                   

If I have to open this closet,

you will get shot!



   

                   

Come back here, motherfucker!



   

                   

What can't you goddamn

fucking talk to me?



   

                   

There's nobody in there!

I told you!



   

                   

Marcie, quiet down!



   

                   

This don't make

no fucking sense!



   

                   

This don't make

no goddamn sense!



   

                   

This is bullshit, motherfucker!



   

                   

Why can't you talk to me?



   

                   

What the hell is this, Marcie?



   

                   

That ain't mine.



   

                   

He's fucking dying

as we're sitting here.



   

                   

There's not a fucking...



   

                   

Jesus, how can you tell me

to calm down?



   

                   

I can help you through this

the best way I know how...



   

                   

but there's certain things

you have to take care of.



   

                   

We can go over them...



   

                   

but I need to know that

you're listening to me.



   

                   

I'm in a fucking state.



   

                   

It's like he's going,

and I don't know...



   

                   

Just tell me practical things,

like what to do with his body.



   

                   

What do I do when he dies?

What happens then?



   

                   

That's what Hospice

can take care of for you.



   

                   

They'll send over a nurse...



   

                   

No. He has Phil now.



   

                   

Phil's one of the nurses

from the service?



   

                   

If you're happy with Phil

taking care of him, fine...



   

                   

but contact Hospice

to arrange for the body.



   

                   

You don't understand.



   

                   

There's more pain, and the

fucking pills aren't working.



   

                   

The past two days,

he can't really swallow...



   

                   

and I don't know

if the pills are going down.



   

                   

I can't see inside

his mouth anymore.



   

                   

I'm up all night

staring at him...



   

                   

and I don't know

if the pills are going down.



   

                   

He moans and he hurts.



   

                   

We can fix that,

because I can give you...



   

                   

Are you listening?



   

                   

I'm listening.

I'm getting better.



   

                   

Do you want to sit down?



   

                   

I need to sit down.



   

                   

Linda,

Earl's not going to make it.



   

                   

He's dying. He is.

Very, very rapidly.



   

                   

The thing here is

to make this experience...



   

                   

as painless and easy for him

as possible.



   

                   

You understand?



   

                   

Hospice will take care of

all the technical things.



   

                   

They will help you

and take care of the body.



   

                   

They are who you call

when he dies.



   

                   

There's the number of Hospice.



   

                   

Now, as far as

the morphine pills go...



   

                   

there's something else

to consider.



   

                   

There's a very potent solution

of liquid morphine.



   

                   

And it's a little bottle,

has an eyedropper.



   

                   

Very easy to get into his mouth

and drop on his tongue...



   

                   

and it will certainly diminish

the pain that he's in.



   

                   

But you need to realize

that once you give it to him...



   

                   

there really is no going back.



   

                   

It will

certainly cure his pain...



   

                   

but he will drift

in and out of consciousness...



   

                   

even worse than he is now.



   

                   

All sign of the recognizable

Earl will pretty much go away.



   

                   

What the fuck can I say to that?



   

                   

I don't know

what to say to that.



   

                   

I don't want to do this...



   

                   

Sit here.



   

                   

I can see the thing, you know.



   

                   

It's getting there,

that's the cocksucker.



   

                   

I see that pen.



   

                   

I see it.

I know it's there.



   

                   

I reach for it.



   

                   

No, no goddamn use.



   

                   

I have a son, you know.



   

                   

You do? Where is he?



   

                   

I don't know.



   

                   

I mean...



   

                   

he's around.



   

                   

He's here in town,

but I don't know.



   

                   

You know...



   

                   

He's a tough one.



   

                   

Very.



   

                   

Got a girlfriend, Phil?



   

                   

- Get a girlfriend.

- I'm trying.



   

                   

Do good things with her.

Share the things.



   

                   

All that bullshit is true.



   

                   

Find a good one,

hold on, and all that.



   

                   

Where's Linda?



   

                   

She went out

to run some errands.



   

                   

She'll be back.



   

                   

She's a good girl.



   

                   

She's a little nuts,

but she's a good girl, I think.



   

                   

She's a little daffy.



   

                   

She loves you.



   

                   

Well, maybe.



   

                   

Yeah. She's a good one.



   

                   

When's the last time

you talked to your son?



   

                   

I don't know.



   

                   

Ten.



   

                   

Maybe ten... five.



   

                   

Fuck. Fuck.



   

                   

It's another thing that goes.



   

                   

Your memory?



   

                   

Time lines, you know?



   

                   

I can remember things,

but not right there.



   

                   

You know?

The fuck you know.



   

                   

I've seen it before.



   

                   

Other fucking assholes like me?



   

                   

- There's no asshole like you.

- Cocksucker.



   

                   

How come every word you use...



   

                   

is "cocksucker,"

"shit-balls," or "fuck"?



   

                   

- Do me a personal favour.

- Go fuck myself.



   

                   

You got it. God.



   

                   

I can't...



   

                   

I can't hold on to this

any longer.



   

                   

Want another morphine pill?



   

                   

No.

Give me the fucking phone.



   

                   

Who you gonna call?



   

                   

I want to see this.

Where is he?



   

                   

- Who?

- Jack.



   

                   

Is Jack your son?



   

                   

Do you want to call him

on the phone?



   

                   

I can dial the number

if you can remember it.



   

                   

It's not him.



   

                   

It's not him.

He's a fucking asshole.



   

                   

Phil, come here.

This is so boring.



   

                   

So goddamn...



   

                   

That dying wish...



   

                   

and all that

old-man-on-a-bed...



   

                   

wants one thing...



   

                   

Find him on a...



   

                   

Frank.



   

                   

His name's Frank Mackey.



   

                   

Frank Mackey?

That's your son?



   

                   

Not my name.



   

                   

Go find...



   

                   

Find Lily.



   

                   

Give me that. Give me.



   

                   

Give me...

If you give me that...



   

                   

over there on...



   

                   

Fuck. I can't hold on to this.



   

                   

I got it.



   

                   

Respect the cock.



   

                   

And tame the cunt!



   

                   

Tame it!



   

                   

Take it on headfirst

with the skills...



   

                   

that I will teach you at work

and say no!



   

                   

You will not control me!

No!



   

                   

You will not take my soul!

No!



   

                   

You will not win this game!



   

                   

Because it's a game, guys.

You want to think it's not?



   

                   

Go back to the schoolyard...



   

                   

and you have that crush

on big-titted Mary Jane.



   

                   

Respect the cock.



   

                   

You are embedding this thought.



   

                   

I am the one who's in charge.



   

                   

I am the one who says yes!



   

                   

No!



   

                   

Now!



   

                   

Here!



   

                   

Because it's universal, man.



   

                   

It is evolutional.

It is anthropological.



   

                   

It is biological.

It is animal.



   

                   

We...



   

                   

are...



   

                   

men!



   

                   

You Gwenovier?



   

                   

I'm Captain Muffy,

Frank's personal assistant.



   

                   

This is Doc.

We can go in right down here.



   

                   

He started

about thirty-five minutes ago...



   

                   

but he's probably getting

all pumped up right now.



   

                   

Look down

at the top of the page.



   

                   

What does it say?



   

                   

Get a calendar!



   

                   

That's right.

I cannot stress this enough.



   

                   

It's a simple item.

It's    cents at the store.



   

                   

But if you look into your packs,

reach deep...



   

                   

you'll see I have been

nice enough to include one.



   

                   

That's just

the kind of prick I am.



   

                   

You need this calendar.

It doesn't seem like much.



   

                   

It's a simple, small item...



   

                   

but it is going to make all

the difference in your world.



   

                   

You meet a girl,

you work an A-  interruption.



   

                   

Say, an eight-day waiting period

before next contact.



   

                   

How are you going to know

when those eight days are up?



   

                   

That's right.

You mark that calendar.



   

                   

You're going to stick with me

and this calendar...



   

                   

and you're going to set goals.



   

                   

If you really want to make

that friend something else...



   

                   

you have to be tough

on yourself.



   

                   

You have to set goals.



   

                   

You, sir,

in the brown short-sleeve shirt.



   

                   

I can't read your name tag.

What's your name?



   

                   

Hi, is Frank there?



   

                   

No, you have the wrong number.



   

                   

I'm sorry.

I'm looking for a Frank Mackey.



   

                   

There's no Frank here.



   

                   

Is this    -   -    ?



   

                   

Yeah, but you have

the wrong number.



   

                   

Do you know a Jack,

by any chance?



   

                   

Just a regular deal.

Loosers and tighters.



   

                   

- We're all set upstairs.

- Thanks.



   

                   

She called me up and asked me

for advice about a guy.



   

                   

- Got everything you need?

- All set.



   

                   

Does she know

how you feel about her?



   

                   

Yes. Absolutely.



   

                   

And what did she say?



   

                   

She says she doesn't

feel that way about me.



   

                   

I don't think there's

anyone in this room...



   

                   

that doesn't understand

that kind of pain, Geoff...



   

                   

and I want to thank you

for sharing that.



   

                   

Let me tell you what

we're going to teach Denise...



   

                   

when we put our calendars

to work and set goals.



   

                   

What I say is, "Denise..."



   

                   

"Denise the Piece."



   

                   

I mark it down.

I write it up.



   

                   

And you have been warned.



   

                   

Because I have my lasers...



   

                   

I have my Tasers,

I have my ICBMs...



   

                   

I have my bazookas,

my jets pointed right at you.



   

                   

Because me and my brothers,

we like to celebrate.



   

                   

And on the first of May,

we celebrate V-Day.



   

                   

And come June, baby,

it is the lick of my spoon.



   

                   

Come August,

we like to celebrate...



   

                   

Saint Suck My Big Fat

Fucking Sausage!



   

                   

I set goals for myself...



   

                   

and when I say I do not

want to take it anymore...



   

                   

I will not take it anymore.



   

                   

You think

she's your friend, Geoff?



   

                   

They're not your friends.



   

                   

Do you really think she'll

be there when things go bad?



   

                   

When things go wrong,

think they'll be there for us?



   

                   

You think again.



   

                   

Fucking Denise,

Denise the Piece...



   

                   

you're gonna give me that

cherry pie, sweet mama baby.



   

                   

Yeah, but listen up,

that is not to say...



   

                   

that we don't all need

females just as friends...



   

                   

because we'll learn later

in Chapter Twenty-three...



   

                   

having a couple

of chick friends...



   

                   

comes in real handy

in setting jealousy traps.



   

                   

We'll get to that later.



   

                   

Right now, pull out

your blue booklets, page   .



   

                   

We're going quickly,

but we'll workshop it later.



   

                   

Eighteen, blue booklet.



   

                   

This is simple and clean,

and if done correctly...



   

                   

can be very effective

in getting some bush.



   

                   

Here we go.



   

                   

Call your so-called friend

and set a date.



   

                   

Make it around  .  .

Call her on the phone.



   

                   

Hi. Is Claudia here?



   

                   

She's sleeping.



   

                   

Are you her boyfriend?



   

                   

You're Jimmy Gator, right?



   

                   

That's right.

What's your name?



   

                   

I'm Ray.



   

                   

So, are you her boyfriend?



   

                   

- No, I'm just a friend.

- I see.



   

                   

- What are you doing here?

- I'm her father.



   

                   

Mind if I come in?



   

                   

Sure.



   

                   

Thanks.



   

                   

What the fuck is this?



   

                   

It's me, Claudia.



   

                   

What do you want?

Why are you here?



   

                   

I'd like to talk to you.

Your boyfriend let me in.



   

                   

That's not my boyfriend.

Want to call me a slut?



   

                   

No, I don't.



   

                   

What the fuck do you want?



   

                   

I want to sit and talk with you.



   

                   

Don't sit down!



   

                   

I want to.

God, I want so many things.



   

                   

Maybe we could just talk

and straighten out...



   

                   

I don't want to talk to you!



   

                   

I have to talk about

so many things.



   

                   

I don't want to talk to you!



   

                   

It doesn't have to be now.



   

                   

We can make a date

to set some other time.



   

                   

I didn't mean to walk in on you

like this.



   

                   

Why are you here?

Why are you doing this?



   

                   

You want to call me a whore?



   

                   

I don't want you to think

I'm that way to you.



   

                   

I won't call you a slut.



   

                   

Yeah, right.

What are you doing here?



   

                   

What the fuck are you

doing in my house?!



   

                   

Please don't yell.

Honey, just don't go crazy.



   

                   

I'm not crazy!



   

                   

Don't you tell me

that I'm crazy!



   

                   

I'm sick, Claudia.



   

                   

Fuck you!



   

                   

No, please, listen to me.



   

                   

Listen to me right now, Claudia.



   

                   

I am dying.

I got sick, and I fell down...



   

                   

Fuck you!

Get the fuck out of my house!



   

                   

I'm dying.

I have cancer, Claudia.



   

                   

And I'm dying very soon.



   

                   

Fuck you.



   

                   

It's metastasized in my bones.



   

                   

I'm not lying to you.

This is the truth.



   

                   

I'm telling you, Claudia,

I'm going to lose.



   

                   

Get out.



   

                   

Get the fuck out of here!



   

                   

Get out! Go!



   

                   

Your mother would like

to hear from you.



   

                   

Fuck you. Get out!



   

                   

Get the fuck

out of my house now!



   

                   

Get out!



   

                   

Hey, Avi.



   

                   

Just one sec.



   

                   

- Please.

- Don't do this.



   

                   

This is so fucked, Solomon!

I don't deserve this!



   

                   

Don't get strong, Donnie.

This is making sense.



   

                   

This is making a lot of sense.



   

                   

You are not doing the job

I ask you to do.



   

                   

A job I give you.



   

                   

Over and over and over.



   

                   

I'm sorry, but I won't say

I'm sorry much more.



   

                   

I don't have any money, Solomon.

If you fire me...



   

                   

I pay you!

I give you a paycheque!



   

                   

Your sales suck, Don!



   

                   

I give! I give!



   

                   

When I find you,

when I meet you, what?



   

                   

I put your name up

on a fucking billboard.



   

                   

I put you in my store.

My salesman.



   

                   

My fucking representation

of Solomon Solomon Electronic!



   

                   

The Quiz Kid Donnie Smith

from the game show!



   

                   

I lent you my celebrity,

my name! Exactly!



   

                   

Fuck you! Fuck you!



   

                   

I paid you! I paid you!



   

                   

I gave you a fucking chance,

over and over, you let me down!



   

                   

I trust you with so much!



   

                   

Keys to my store.

The codes to my locks.



   

                   

The life and blood

of my business!



   

                   

In return,

you smash in  -Eleven!



   

                   

Always late! Loans!



   

                   

The loans I give you

for your kitchen you never did!



   

                   

I paid you back!



   

                   

Two years later

and from your paycheque!



   

                   

I never charged interest!



   

                   

Solomon, please!



   

                   

I am so fucked here

if you do this!



   

                   

This is the worst timing

I could ever imagine!



   

                   

I need to keep working!



   

                   

I have so many debts,

so many things...



   

                   

I have my surgery!



   

                   

- My oral surgery coming!

- What surgery?



   

                   

Oral surgery!

Corrective teeth surgery!



   

                   

- What is that?

- Braces!



   

                   

- You don't need braces.

- I do!



   

                   

- Your teeth are straight.

- I need surgery!



   

                   

You got struck by lightning

on vacation in Tahoe.



   

                   

I don't think braces

is a good idea.



   

                   

Solomon, just let me

ask you once, please.



   

                   

Please don't do this.



   

                   

- How are you paying for them?

- I don't know!



   

                   

How much are braces anyway?



   

                   

It doesn't matter.



   

                   

It's like $    .

I've seen it.



   

                   

You're pissing me off.

This is fucking incredible.



   

                   

You're paying $    

for braces you don't need?



   

                   

- I've been a good worker.

- Don't do this!



   

                   

Where are you getting the money?



   

                   

- I don't know!

- You were going to ask me!



   

                   

- I've been a good worker.

- No need for braces.



   

                   

That is none of your business!



   

                   

I've been a good worker for you,

you fucking assholes!



   

                   

Donnie, watch it now.



   

                   

Give me your keys.



   

                   

Give me your fucking keys!



   

                   

Identified as Porter Parker,

age fifty-nine...



   

                   

better known as

the dead guy in the closet.



   

                   

So says the building guy,

this is her husband.



   

                   

He doesn't live here.



   

                   

Comes around, raises some shit,

screaming and yelling.



   

                   

There's a son and a kid.



   

                   

- Her son?

- Right. And the kid.



   

                   

They were here,

and from late last night...



   

                   

through the morning,

it was screaming and yelling.



   

                   

- And where are they?

- Not to be found.



   

                   

Got $    and a large box

of condoms next to the bed.



   

                   

- She was real belligerent.

- Three wedding rings.



   

                   

Guys coming in and out all day.

This from the building guy.



   

                   

He says the son and closet guy

are always going at it.



   

                   

- What is she saying?

- Not a goddamn thing.



   

                   

Thanks, Randy.



   

                   

How much you pay me for my help?



   

                   

It's more complicated than that,

little man.



   

                   

Put me on the payroll

and find out what's up.



   

                   

You don't just sign up

to be a police officer.



   

                   

It's about

three years of training.



   

                   

I'm trained.

I'm ready to go.



   

                   

- Want to buy some candy?

- Sorry, little man.



   

                   

You want to take my statement?

I'll perform for you.



   

                   

Gotta get paid, though.



   

                   

Why aren't you in school today?



   

                   

No school today.

My teacher got sick.



   

                   

You don't have

substitute teachers at school?



   

                   

No.

What'd they find out in there?



   

                   

That's confidential information,

little man.



   

                   

Tell me what you know.

I'll tell you what I know.



   

                   

No can do.



   

                   

Leave this to the detectives,

they ain't going to solve shit.



   

                   

I can help you.

Make you the man with the plan.



   

                   

Give you the gift that I flow.

Want to know who killed him?



   

                   

You come here.



   

                   

Come here. Want to disrespect

an officer of the law?



   

                   

I can help you solve the case.

Tell you who did it.



   

                   

You're a joker, huh?

Telling me jokes?



   

                   

- I'm a rapper.

- You're a rapper.



   

                   

- Got a record contract?

- Not yet.



   

                   

Give you a clue for the bust

if you show me some trust.



   

                   

You ever been to juvenile hall?



   

                   

I ain't fucking with you!



   

                   

Watch the mouth. Watch it.



   

                   

Come on, man, just watch me.



   

                   

Watch and listen.



   

                   

Presence



   

                   

With a double-ass meaning

gifts I bestow



   

                   

With my riff and my flow,

but you don't hear me, though



   

                   

Think fast, catch me, yo



   

                   

Because I throw what I know

with a resonance



   

                   

For your trouble-ass fiend

in weening yourself



   

                   

Off the back of the shelf



   

                   

Jackass,

crackers, bodystackers



   

                   

Dick-tooting niggers,

masturbating your triggers...



   

                   

Hold it, homeboy.

I don't need to hear that word.



   

                   

Living to get older

with a chip on your shoulder



   

                   

Except you think you got a grip



   

                   

Because your hip got a holster



   

                   

Ain't no confessor, so, busta,

you better just shut the fuck up



   

                   

Try to listen and learn...



   

                   

Cut it, Coolio.



   

                   

I've had enough of

the mouth and the language.



   

                   

I'm almost done!



   

                   

Finish it up without the lip.



   

                   

Check that ego



   

                   

Come off it, I'm the prophet



   

                   

The professor,

I'm-a teach you about the Worm



   

                   

Who eventually

turned to catch wreck



   

                   

With the neck

of a long-time oppressor



   

                   

And he's running from the devil,

but the debt is always gaining



   

                   

And if he's worth being hurt,

he's worth bringing pain in



   

                   

When the sunshine don't work,

the good Lord bring the rain in



   

                   

Now, that shit will help you

solve the case.



   

                   

Whatever that meant.



   

                   

I'm sure it's real helpful,

Ice-T.



   

                   

Did you listen to me?



   

                   

I was listening to you.



   

                   

I told you who did it,

and you're not even listening.



   

                   

I'm through playing games.



   

                   

Be cool.

Stay in school.



   

                   

Get out of the street now.



   

                   

Move it.



   

                   

- Come on, let's go.

- You're late, not me.



   

                   

- You could have been in front.

- I didn't see you.



   

                   

Why didn't you just...

You could've come in the front.



   

                   

Hurry up.



   

                   

All right,

you ready to keep winning?



   

                   

Sure.



   

                   

You OK?



   

                   

Almost busted my ankle there.



   

                   

Have that makeup lady

fix your hair.



   

                   

It's really wet.



   

                   

There you are!



   

                   

- I'm sorry we're late.

- That's all right.



   

                   

We got caught in traffic.



   

                   

Your book's OK.



   

                   

- How you doing?

- I'm fine.



   

                   

Ready to go, go, go?



   

                   

Do you know anybody involved

with that Alan Thicke thing?



   

                   

The Corey Haim terrorist

in the high school?



   

                   

Where's Richard and Julia?



   

                   

They're here.

They're fine.



   

                   

They're in the dressing room,

so we're all set.



   

                   

- See you later.

- Go to it, handsome.



   

                   

- See you.

- OK, buddy, love you.



   

                   

- Good luck, Rick.

- Hey, Peter.



   

                   

Dick. I'm sorry. Dick.



   

                   

Fuck.

Can't get that fucking name.



   

                   

Who's ready to beat the record?



   

                   

That was close.



   

                   

It's cats

and fucking dogs out there.



   

                   

Cats and dogs indeed.



   

                   

I've never seen it rain

this bad since last year.



   

                   

Because of La Niña or El Niño

or whatever the shit.



   

                   

No bueno El Niño.

Sorry I'm late.



   

                   

- What was your name again?

- Amy, Mr. Jennings.



   

                   

Call me D.J.

Listen.



   

                   

Trust me.

Stay focused.



   

                   

Where's the news department

at the studio?



   

                   

- It's upstairs.

- Have you ever been there?



   

                   

Sure. Why?



   

                   

I was wondering about

the weather department.



   

                   

If they have outside

meteorological services...



   

                   

or if they have

in-house instruments.



   

                   

I can check on that for you,

and later we can take a tour.



   

                   

Sounds good?



   

                   

You asking because

it's raining outside?



   

                   

I guess.



   

                   

Whatever's happening,

that's what you look into?



   

                   

I don't know.



   

                   

You don't know?

It's not a bad way to be.



   

                   

Interested in everything

that's going around.



   

                   

Wet is wet.

Just that simple.



   

                   

- Hi, Mary.

- Hi, hon, Stanley.



   

                   

Rose is on the phone.

Here are today's cards.



   

                   

Fifteen minutes to go over

those cards.



   

                   

- Sorry.

- Find Paula for me.



   

                   

Now? We're on the air

in twenty minutes.



   

                   

Fucking hell, Mary.

Yeah? Hi.



   

                   

- Hi, how you doing?

- I'm drinking.



   

                   

- Slowly or quickly?

- As fast as I can.



   

                   

You come home

soon after the show.



   

                   

I went to see her.



   

                   

Some asshole answers the door

in his underwear.



   

                   

He's fifty years old.



   

                   

There's coke and shit

laid out on the table.



   

                   

Did she talk to you?



   

                   

She went fucking crazy, Rose.



   

                   

- Did you tell her?

- I don't know.



   

                   

I gotta go.

I don't have time.



   

                   

Got a lot more drinking to do.



   

                   

- I love you.

- I love you, too.



   

                   

Shit.



   

                   

Fuck.



   

                   

Police! Open the door!



   

                   

Who is it?



   

                   

LAPD! Open the door!



   

                   

I'm coming!



   

                   

I have to get dressed!



   

                   

You're not coming fast enough!

Open the door!



   

                   

Didn't you hear me?



   

                   

I said I'm coming,

and that means I'm coming!



   

                   

I just have to get dressed,

all right?



   

                   

I have to get dressed!



   

                   

I hate coming here

and not being able to talk.



   

                   

It's fine.

I understand.



   

                   

I wish the circumstance

was better.



   

                   

I don't know

what's going to happen.



   

                   

I feel so over the top

with everything.



   

                   

Running out of

your medication at all...



   

                   

let alone at a time like this,

could be drastic.



   

                   

Thank you, Dr. Diane.



   

                   

Stanley Spector

and his brilliant friends...



   

                   

Richard and Julia can defeat

today's adult challengers...



   

                   

Mim, Luis, and Todd.



   

                   

They're moving towards a half

million dollar team total...



   

                   

and

a "What Do Kids Know?" record!



   

                   

Pink Dot.



   

                   

Hi. I'd like to get

an order for delivery.



   

                   

- Phone number?

-    -   -    .



   

                   

Partridge?

What would you like?



   

                   

I'd like to get an order

of peanut butter...



   

                   

cigarettes,

Camel Lights, water...



   

                   

Bottled water?



   

                   

No. You know what,

forget the water.



   

                   

Just give me a loaf of bread.

White bread.



   

                   

And do you have

"Playboy" magazine?



   

                   

One of those.



   

                   

And "Penthouse," the magazine?



   

                   

You have that?

One of those.



   

                   

And "Hustler"?



   

                   

Do you have that?



   

                   

- Yeah, I said. That it?

- That's it.



   

                   

Still want the peanut butter,

bread, and cigarettes?



   

                   

Yeah. What?



   

                   

The total is   .  .

Thirty minutes or less.



   

                   

Thank you.



   

                   

- Cash or credit card?

- Cash.



   

                   

- Thanks.

- Thank you.



   

                   

Respect the cock

and tame the cunt!



   

                   

Have a great lunch!



   

                   

This is Gwenovier

from the show "Profiles."



   

                   

She's here for the interview.



   

                   

- It's nice to meet you.

- I admire your work.



   

                   

Thank you.

I have us set up...



   

                   

It's not very safe for you here.



   

                   

I finish one of

these seminars, Gwenovier...



   

                   

I swear to fucking God,

I am Batman.



   

                   

I'm Superman.



   

                   

I'm like a fucking action hero,

the way I feel after that.



   

                   

I could walk outta this room

right now, Gwenovier...



   

                   

go down the hall,

walk down the street...



   

                   

and I could pick up

any sweet little honey...



   

                   

that has even one second

to stop.



   

                   

- One second?

- Just one second, girl.



   

                   

One glance, one hesitation...



   

                   

one subtle look my way

for me to know...



   

                   

and then it is

bing, bang, boom.



   

                   

Oh, my God!

I'm away on a tangent.



   

                   

I tell you...



   

                   

Don't hurt yourself, OK?



   

                   

I tell you, I do.



   

                   

I get so fucking jazzed

at these seminars...



   

                   

because I am what I believe.



   

                   

I do as I say.



   

                   

I live by these rules...



   

                   

as religiously as I preach them.



   

                   

That's why I am getting

the nasty...



   

                   

left, right, centre,

up, down, sideways.



   

                   

The Battle of the Bush is being

fought and won by Team Mackey.



   

                   

We'll start rolling now.



   

                   

What?

I thought we were rolling.



   

                   

Come on, go, go, go, Gwenovier.

I am firing pearls at you here.



   

                   

I want you to know that I'm not

succeeding in the bush...



   

                   

because I'm Frank T.J. Mackey.



   

                   

You think about this.



   

                   

There are women...



   

                   

who want to destroy me.



   

                   

No. I find that hard to believe.



   

                   

It makes it very difficult,

twice as hard for me.



   

                   

There's some little hottie

I'm moving in on...



   

                   

knows me, knows my plans

and my schemes, you know?



   

                   

She'll want to fuck with me.



   

                   

She'll go back,

tell her friends.



   

                   

"Frank T.J. Mackey,

he ain't all that.



   

                   

"He ain't all that.

Didn't get me."



   

                   

So, me, I am...



   

                   

I'm just on full afterburners...



   

                   

full throttle

through hottie heaven.



   

                   

- Just dodging left...

- Yes, I understand.



   

                   

These bullets

from these terrorists.



   

                   

Babe, beauties.



   

                   

Calm down, take it easy,

and be a good boy...



   

                   

OK, Mr. Mackey?



   

                   

Thank you.

You sit back there...



   

                   

put your microphone

on for me, please.



   

                   

So we can do this thing,

all right?



   

                   

Yes, ma'am.



   

                   

Let me start by asking you...



   

                   

Just one second.



   

                   

You missed a button.



   

                   

Thank you.



   

                   

What do you want to know?



   

                   

Make it happen.



   

                   

This is you, Donnie.

Go, go, go!



   

                   

Hello.

You're back again, huh?



   

                   

Yes.

Hi. How are you?



   

                   

- What can I get you?

- A Diet Coke.



   

                   

You look tired.

Want one of these?



   

                   

Better pour you

one of these, huh?



   

                   

Can you ring me up?



   

                   

- Brad, good to see you.

- It's good to see you.



   

                   

You make that down payment

on that Harley yet?



   

                   

Not yet.

I'll make it next week.



   

                   

You ever get out of here?



   

                   

Six days a week.

You'll be the first to go.



   

                   

I would love that.



   

                   

- Want another one?

- Yes, please.



   

                   

I'd like a tequila.



   

                   

- What kind?

- It doesn't matter.



   

                   

Open up the door now!



   

                   

Yes, hi! Hello!



   

                   

I'm sorry.

I had to get dressed.



   

                   

You the resident here?



   

                   

You alone in there?



   

                   

There's no one else

in there with you?



   

                   

What's wrong?



   

                   

First of all,

turn down the music...



   

                   

so we can have a conversation.



   

                   

You mind if I come in?



   

                   

No. Go ahead.



   

                   

You got your neighbours

real worried for you.



   

                   

Sorry.



   

                   

You live alone?



   

                   

- What's your name?

- Claudia.



   

                   

- Claudia what?

- Wilson.



   

                   

Claudia Wilson...



   

                   

are you trying to go deaf?



   

                   

What?



   

                   

Did you hear what I just said?



   

                   

Yes, but I don't know what...



   

                   

You're listening

to your music so loud...



   

                   

you're going to damage

your ears.



   

                   

You continue to listen

to your music at that level...



   

                   

then you're going to damage

not only your ears...



   

                   

but your neighbours' ears

as well.



   

                   

I didn't realize

it was that loud.



   

                   

That right there is the first

sign of hearing loss.



   

                   

I see you got

your TV on there, too.



   

                   

You usually keep that on

at the same time?



   

                   

I don't know.

What is this?



   

                   

You been doing

some drugs today, Claudia?



   

                   

Have you been doing

some drinking?



   

                   

I got a call

of a disturbance here.



   

                   

Some loud music..."A"...



   

                   

Some screaming and yelling.



   

                   

Has there been some

screaming and yelling here?



   

                   

I had someone come to my door.



   

                   

Someone that I didn't

want to hear.



   

                   

And I told them to leave,

so it's no big deal.



   

                   

They left. I'm sorry.



   

                   

Was that your boyfriend?



   

                   

You don't have a boyfriend?



   

                   

Well, who was it?



   

                   

I was... He's gone.



   

                   

I mean, it's not...

It's over, you know?



   

                   

Mind if I have a look around

for your safety?



   

                   

It's fine.



   

                   

What are you looking for?



   

                   

Claudia, why don't you let me

handle the questions...



   

                   

and you handle the answers?



   

                   

I'm here to help you.



   

                   

Do you still

have to do homework?





 

                   

Not as much as I used to.



 

                   

Since we started,

I haven't gone to school much.



 

                   

I've had so many auditions.



 

                   

I don't have

regular classes anymore.



 

                   

What do you do?



 

                   

They let me have

my own study time...



 

                   

my own reading time

in the library.



 

                   

That's pretty cool.



 

                   

Do you have an agent, Stanley?



  

                   

You should get one.

I'm serious.



  

                   

You could get a lot

of stuff outta this.



  

                   

Like what?



  

                   

Like endorsements and shit!



  

                   

Bite it, Cynthia.

You can get free stuff...



  

                   

from people who want you

to endorse their product.



  

                   

Commercials, a sitcom,

an M.O.W. or something.



  

                   

What's M.O.W.?



  

                   

Hello! Movie of the week.



  

                   

I went for one this morning

with Alan Thicke and Corey Haim.



  

                   

Was it a call-back?



  

                   

No. But I'll probably

get a call-back.



  

                   

If we beat the record,

you might get a call-back.



  

                   

I'll get it because

I'm a good actress, Richard.



  

                   

- Saucy, saucy!

- Guys, settle down.



  

                   

- Cynthia?

- What?



  

                   

- I gotta go to the bathroom.

- Can you hold it?



  

                   

Yes siree!



  

                   

That was absolutely fantastic,

and I thank you very much.



  

                   

As a matter of fact...



  

                   

we may take you folks

on the road with us...



  

                   

That's my thing.



  

                   

I'm serious.

Milk and sports, man.



  

                   

You never heard milk and sports?



  

                   

Anything baseball

or dealing with numbers...



  

                   

when it comes to those

or who broke whatever record.



  

                   

Any kind of dairy product

or dairy recipe.



  

                   

Like goat milk, goat cheese,

all that stuff.



  

                   

Check this out over here.



  

                   

So, guys,

just work with me on that.



  

                   

Excuse me, can you bring me

low fat milk, please?



  

                   

A couple of ice cubes.



  

                   

They don't look so tough.



  

                   

Do they look smart?



  

                   

What are they going to do,

beat us?



  

                   

Maybe.



  

                   

We're not going out two days

before we set the record.



  

                   

They want us done, they'll call

in the Harvard SWAT team.



  

                   

Ready to run.



  

                   

- You smell like trouble.

- I'm fucking hammered.



  

                   

You OK?



  

                   

Good. You have a chance

to look those over?



  

                   

It's the same fucking shit

for thirty years, Burt.



  

                   

You look like you have money

in your pocket.



  

                   

Maybe I'm just happy to see

my friend Brad there.



  

                   

Just throw some money around.



  

                   

Money, money, money.



  

                   

This sounds threatening.



  

                   

Do you have love in your heart?



  

                   

I have love all over.



  

                   

I even have love for you,

friend.



  

                   

Is it real love?



  

                   

The kind of love

that makes you feel...



  

                   

that intangible joy

in the pit of your stomach...



  

                   

like a bucket of acid and nerves

running around...



  

                   

making you hurt

and happy and all over...



  

                   

You're head over heels?



  

                   

You lost me with the last

couple of cocktail words...



  

                   

but I believe

it's that sort of love.



  

                   

Sounds nice to me.



  

                   

I have love.



  

                   

A very chatty kind.

Indeed you do.



  

                   

No, I mean I'm telling you.



  

                   

I have love.



  

                   

Yes, and I'm listening

avidly, fella.



  

                   

My name is Donnie Smith,

and I have lots of love to give.



  

                   

Lot of stuff here, huh?



  

                   

It's thirty seconds.



  

                   

Got my eye on you.

I'll be back.



  

                   

What the fuck's

going on over there?



  

                   

I gotta go to the bathroom.



  

                   

Jesus Christ, Stanley!



  

                   

No, you cannot do that.



  

                   

Let me explain something

to you people.



  

                   

You have to tone it.

Don't be real aggressive.



  

                   

You have to be subtly abusive

so they don't know it.



  

                   

"No, you're not going outside

and play with your friends...



  

                   

"until that entire room

is cleaned floor to ceiling."



  

                   

Julia's room's the same way.



  

                   

Like a pigsty.

But it's outfits now.



  

                   

You should have seen what she

had on walking out the door!



  

                   

I said, "We're going to school,

not a fashion show."



  

                   

It's not a fashion show.

It's school, for goodness sake!



  

                   

Let's make some fucking

money here, people.



  

                   

You with me, Jimmy?



  

                   

The book says, "We may be

through with the past...



  

                   

"but the past

ain't through with us."



  

                   

"We met upon the level, and

we're parting on the square."



  

                   

In my fucking sleep, Burt.



  

                   

And five, four, three, two...



   

                   

Live,

from Burbank, California...



   

                   

it's "What Do Kids Know?"



   

                   

Going into our

thirty-third year on the air...



   

                   

it's America's

longest-running quiz show...



   

                   

and the place where three kids

get to challenge three adults...



   

                   

and in the end,

we'll see who's the boss.



   

                   

Moving towards their eighth

consecutive week as champions...



   

                   

we have the kids...

Richard, Julia, and Stanley!



   

                   

And our new adult challengers

are Mim, Luis, and Todd.



   

                   

And me, I'm Dick Jennings...



   

                   

and say hello to your favourite

host and my boss...



   

                   

Jimmy Gator!



   

                   

Back again, again, again!



   

                   

I'm Jimmy Gator,

and believe it or not...



   

                   

we are at the end of week seven,

heading towards week eight...



   

                   

with these three incredible kids

who... hello, hello...



   

                   

are just two days

and two games away...



   

                   

from the

"What Do Kids Know?" record...



   

                   

for the longest-running

quiz show in television history.



   

                   

Now, we are

endorsed by the PTA...



   

                   

and the North American

Teacher's Foundation.



   

                   

We do try to keep

our standards high...



   

                   

and that's why we are

the longest-running quiz show...



   

                   

in television history!



   

                   

I want to say something

about these kids.



   

                   

These kids right here,

they'll be here a while.



   

                   

But today's

a dangerous day because...



   

                   

I have just met with the adult

challengers backstage...



   

                   

and let me tell you...



   

                   

they are a terrific challenge

for our kids.



   

                   

So let's get this show

up and away, shall we?



   

                   

We want to know

where your son is, Marcie.



   

                   

Jerome Samuel Hall.



   

                   

Did he fight with your husband?

Is this the Worm?



   

                   

Maybe they had a fight.

Maybe it was an accident.



   

                   

Do they call him Worm?



   

                   

We want to know

where your son is, Marcie.



   

                   

Do they call him Worm?



   

                   

Help us help your son,

Marcie.



   

                   

Do they call him Worm?



   

                   

Help us help your son,

Marcie.



   

                   

Your son and your grandson.

Help us help them.



   

                   

Is this the Worm?



   

                   

Let's jump right in.



   

                   

A quick recap

for those who don't know.



   

                   

Round One. Three categories.

Steals are OK.



   

                   

Point scale escalating

from    to    ...



   

                   

one of which

is a conversation bonus.



   

                   

That'll be   .  .



   

                   

The categories are...



   

                   

"Authors,

Chaos Versus Superstring...



   

                   

"and Rub-a-Dub."



   

                   

Max. Thanks.



   

                   

Adults won a coin toss

backstage...



   

                   

so they get to pick first.



   

                   

Team captain... Mim.



   

                   

Got it.



   

                   

First question for twenty-five.



   

                   

This female author's most famous

work..."O Pioneers!"



   

                   

Willa Cather.



   

                   

Willa Cather for twenty-five.



   

                   

Best known for the Tragedy and

Blood genre, this playwright...



   

                   

Thomas Kyd.



   

                   

This French playwright and actor

joined the Béjart troupe...



   

                   

MolÈire.



   

                   

I'm afraid I'm going

to need a full name, Stanley.



   

                   

Jean-Batiste Poquelin MolÈire.



   

                   

What the fuck is this?



   

                   

God damn.

My little fucker.



   

                   

I have no idea

where he gets this shit.



   

                   

He's a fucking genius, really.



   

                   

This is Chad.

Can I have your phone number?



   

                   

Hello. Great.

This is "Seduce and Destroy"?



   

                   

Yes, it is. Can I have

your home phone number?



   

                   

I don't want

to order anything.



   

                   

I have a situation

that's just come up...



   

                   

that's really pretty serious...



   

                   

and I don't know who to talk to

or what I should do...



   

                   

but maybe you could put me

in touch with somebody...



   

                   

if I explain myself?



   

                   

We're really only equipped

to take orders here, sir.



   

                   

It's just us with the phones,

and that's what we do.



   

                   

Could you connect me with

somebody else, you think?



   

                   

What's the situation?



   

                   

OK, great.



   

                   

Let me try to explain myself

without it seeming crazy.



   

                   

But here I go.



   

                   

My name is Phil Parma...



   

                   

and I work for a man

named Earl Partridge...



   

                   

Mr. Earl Partridge.



   

                   

I'm his nurse.

He's a very sick man.



   

                   

He's a dying man,

and he's sick...



   

                   

and he's asked me

to help him...



   

                   

to help him find his son.



   

                   

Hello? Are you there?



   

                   

I'm here. I'm listening.



   

                   

OK. You see...



   

                   

Frank T.J. Mackey

is Earl Partridge's son.



   

                   

So where are you

from originally?



   

                   

- Around here.

- Valley?



   

                   

- Hollywood, mainly.

- What did your parents do?



   

                   

My father was in television.



   

                   

My mother... This is going

to sound silly to you.



   

                   

- Try me.

- She was a librarian.



   

                   

Why does that sound silly?



   

                   

I don't know.

I guess it doesn't.



   

                   

Does your mother still work?



   

                   

No, she's retired.



   

                   

Are you close?



   

                   

She's my mother.



   

                   

Yes, but she's a woman, too.



   

                   

How does she feel about

"Seduce and Destroy"?



   

                   

What does she say?



   

                   

Well, she says,

"You go get them, honey."



   

                   

What about your father?



   

                   

My father.

Unfortunately, he passed away.



   

                   

I'm sorry.

I had no idea.



   

                   

No, please.



   

                   

I wouldn't have brought

that up if I had known.



   

                   

It's a very hard thing.



   

                   

Please.

Yes, it is, but... listen.



   

                   

You have to move forward.

The past has its place.



   

                   

It was a long time ago

and people die.



   

                   

Let's switch gears here.



   

                   

According to your book,

you ended up at UC Berkeley?



   

                   

- '  -'  .

- Psychology major.



   

                   

- That's right.

- Get your masters?



   

                   

This close.



   

                   

That's impressive in five years.



   

                   

Cap, can I have some coffee?



   

                   

Can I get you anything?



   

                   

No, I'm good.



   

                   

She's good.

I need coffee.



   

                   

Cats and dogs out there, huh?



   

                   

Must have a lot going on

for all that stuff back there.



   

                   

You could...



   

                   

You could have quite a party

with all that stuff.



   

                   

You been on Prozac long?

Dexedrine?



   

                   

I don't...



   

                   

Interesting drugs.



   

                   

Dexedrine's basically

speed in a pill, you know?



   

                   

But I guess

a lot of the doctors...



   

                   

are balancing out the Prozac

with the Dexedrine.



   

                   

That liquid morphine

will knock you down...



   

                   

out, around, up and down,

someone's not careful.



   

                   

You can't mix those up.



   

                   

Strong stuff here, boy.



   

                   

What exactly you have wrong,

you need all this stuff?



   

                   

- Motherfucker!

- What?



   

                   

What are you talking about?



   

                   

You fucking asshole!



   

                   

Who the fuck

do you think you are?



   

                   

I come in here...



   

                   

you don't know who I am,

what my life is...



   

                   

and you have the balls,

the indecency...



   

                   

to ask me a question

about my life?



   

                   

Please, lady,

why don't you just calm down?



   

                   

Fuck you, too!

Don't you call me lady!



   

                   

I come in here,

I give these things to you...



   

                   

you check,

you make your phone calls...



   

                   

look suspicious, ask questions!



   

                   

I'm sick!



   

                   

I have sickness all around me,

and you ask me my life?



   

                   

What's wrong?



   

                   

Have you seen death in your bed?

In your house?



   

                   

Where's your fucking decency?



   

                   

And then I'm asked

fucking questions.



   

                   

What's... wrong?!



   

                   

You suck my dick!

That's what's wrong!



   

                   

And you fucking call me lady?!



   

                   

Shame on you!



   

                   

Shame on both of you!



   

                   

So why don't they

have the same last name?



   

                   

Because they don't

have the same last name.



   

                   

I know, and I can't

really explain that.



   

                   

But I have a feeling there is

a situation between them...



   

                   

like they don't know

each other much or well.



   

                   

Something like they don't

talk much any more, even.



   

                   

God, does this sound weird?



   

                   

I just don't understand

why you're calling me.



   

                   

There's no number for Frank

in any of Earl's stuff...



   

                   

and he's pretty out of it.



   

                   

Like I said, he's dying...



   

                   

dying of cancer. So...



   

                   

- What kind of cancer?

- Brain and lung.



   

                   

- My mother had breast cancer.

- I'm sorry.



   

                   

- Is she all right?

- She's fine now.



   

                   

- That's good.

- It was scary, though.



   

                   

- It's a hell of a disease.

- It sure is.



   

                   

Wait, I'm sorry.

So why call me?



   

                   

I know this sounds silly,

and I might sound ridiculous...



   

                   

like this is the scene

of the movie...



   

                   

where the guy tries to get a hold

of the long-lost son...



   

                   

but this is that scene.



   

                   

And I think they have

those scenes in movies...



   

                   

because they're true.



   

                   

Because they really happen...



   

                   

and you gotta believe me,

this is really happening.



   

                   

I can give you my number

and you can go check...



   

                   

with whoever you gotta

check with and call me back...



   

                   

but do not leave me

hanging on this.



   

                   

All right? Please.



   

                   

I'm just... Please.



   

                   

See...



   

                   

this is the scene of the movie

where you help me out.



   

                   

You're great.

These are great questions.



   

                   

Good. I thought

you grew up in the Valley.



   

                   

Like I said... around.



   

                   

You went to Van Nuys High?



   

                   

I wouldn't say I went.

I frequented.



   

                   

I was misguided, pathetic.



   

                   

Definitely not

the Frank T.J. Mackey...



   

                   

you're so eagerly wanting

to put on national television.



   

                   

Because I was swimming

in what was...



   

                   

as opposed to what I wanted.



   

                   

- Where does that name come from?

- My name?



   

                   

It's not your given name?



   

                   

It's my mother's name, actually.



   

                   

That's good.

Done your research.



   

                   

- And Frank?

- My mother's father.



   

                   

That's why.

See, I had some trouble...



   

                   

locating your school records

at UCLA and Berkeley.



   

                   

It's your name change...



   

                   

because they had

no official enrolment for you.



   

                   

No, they wouldn't.



   

                   

No. Because I was never

officially enrolled there.



   

                   

- Was that unclear?

- Kind of.



   

                   

God, I wouldn't want

that to be misunderstood.



   

                   

My enrolment

was totally unofficial.



   

                   

Sadly, I couldn't afford

to pay the tuition up there.



   

                   

But there were

three wonderful professors...



   

                   

kind enough to let me

to sit in their classes.



   

                   

Macready, Horn, and Langtree,

among others.



   

                   

You're welcome

to call them if you like.



   

                   

I didn't get a free ride.



   

                   

So what we're looking at here

is a true rags-to-riches story.



   

                   

That's why people respond

so strongly to "Seduce."



   

                   

Because at the end of the day...



   

                   

"Seduce" may not be just

about picking up chicks...



   

                   

and sticking your cock in.



   

                   

It's about finding out

what you can be in this world...



   

                   

defining it,

controlling it, and saying...



   

                   

"I will take what is mine."



   

                   

And you just happen to get

a little blow job out of it...



   

                   

then, hey, what the fuck?



   

                   

There you go.



   

                   

End of Round One.

Excellent work.



   

                   

I think we should take

a look at the scores here.



   

                   

Kids are up a leg with     ...



   

                   

and the adults are down

a little bit with     .



   

                   

So we'll be back for Round Two

in a ring-dang-doo!



   

                   

Hello, hello!

Bonus musical question.



   

                   

And the winner is...



   

                   

Kids!



   

                   

Kids are in the lead.



   

                   

They get a chance to pull

further and farther ahead...



   

                   

if they answer the following

secret bonus musical question.



   

                   

Now what I'm going to do

is read a line from an opera.



   

                   

I want you to give me

that line back...



   

                   

in the language in which the

opera was originally written.



   

                   

And for a bonus    ...    ...



   

                   

you can sing it!



   

                   

Here's the line.



   

                   

"Love is a rebellious bird

that nobody can tame.



   

                   

"And it's all in vain

to call it...



   

                   

"if it chooses to refuse."



   

                   

Well, that was in French...



   

                   

and that was from

the opera "Carmen..."



   

                   

and that goes...



   

                   

L'amour est

un oiseau rebelle



   

                   

Que nul ne peut apprivoiser



   

                   

Et c'est bien en vain

qu'on l'appelle



   

                   

S'il lui convient de refuser



   

                   

See you got

some coffee brewing here.



   

                   

Yeah, it's not...

It's been on for a bit.



   

                   

I like iced coffee, generally...



   

                   

but a day like today,

with the rain and whatnot...



   

                   

I enjoy a warm cup.



   

                   

Do you want a cup?



   

                   

Is that all right?



   

                   

It's raining

cats and dogs out there.



   

                   

I'd just as soon

not go back in it.



   

                   

I don't know how fresh

it's going to be.



   

                   

I'm sure it's fine, Claudia.



   

                   

Do you take cream or sugar?



   

                   

That'd be fine.



   

                   

So, Claudia,

let me just say...



   

                   

so I can get my role

as an LAPD officer...



   

                   

out of the way here

before we enjoy our coffee.



   

                   

I don't like to talk shop

over coffee.



   

                   

I'm not going to write you up.



   

                   

I'm not going to give you

a citation here...



   

                   

but the real problem is that

you got people around you...



   

                   

people who work from home,

trying to get work done.



   

                   

And if you're listening

to your music that loud...



   

                   

they're inconvenienced by that.



   

                   

If you had a job,

you'd probably understand...



   

                   

but you like listening

to your music.



   

                   

That's fine.



   

                   

Just want to keep an eye

on the volume level.



   

                   

Maybe memorize what number

you see on the dial.



   

                   

If it's the middle of the day,

that's what I do.



   

                   

I just set it

at two and a half...



   

                   

and then I know that's

a good listening level for me.



   

                   

But you like listening

to your music loud.



   

                   

That's fine.

That's cool.



   

                   

It's good to rock out sometimes.



   

                   

But you can't do it every day...



   

                   

or else you risk damaging

your ears. Seriously.



   

                   

You listen to it

all the time like that?



   

                   

You're going to drive

these people crazy.



   

                   

Anyway, you get the point.



   

                   

Cheers.



   

                   

So this boyfriend bothering you?



   

                   

I don't have a boyfriend.



   

                   

The gentleman

who was at the door...



   

                   

He's not my boyfriend.



   

                   

A lot of times,

in domestic abuse situations...



   

                   

the young woman

is afraid to speak out.



   

                   

You don't have to be afraid

to tell me anything.



   

                   

And as a police officer,

I can tell you...



   

                   

it goes bad places.



   

                   

Young woman's

afraid to speak out...



   

                   

next thing you know,

I'm here on a    .



   

                   

What's a    ?



   

                   

It's not good.



   

                   

And it's where situations

like this always lead.



   

                   

It's not my boyfriend,

and it's not anything.



   

                   

It's over. Really.

He won't come back.



   

                   

I don't want to have

to come back here...



   

                   

You won't have to!



   

                   

I wouldn't mind coming back.



   

                   

You know, get a look

at your pretty face again.



   

                   

I'll be right back.



   

                   

Here you go.

Let's get the jacket off.



   

                   

It'll help you to breathe.



   

                   

I can't fucking do this.



   

                   

I've... I...



   

                   

I think I'm gonna throw up.

I think.



   

                   

I haven't thrown up

since I was twenty years old.



   

                   

- What's the problem?

- I need to go to the bathroom.



   

                   

Jesus Christ, Stanley.

You can't go now.



   

                   

You have exactly one minute

before we're on the air.



   

                   

Now is not the time

to go to the bathroom!



   

                   

Why does this fucking

shit always happen, Stanley?



   

                   

Excuse me, is there a problem?



   

                   

Mind your own business!



   

                   

You watch your mouth, young man!



   

                   

Why don't you mind

your own business?



   

                   

Oh, no, she didn't!



   

                   

Wait for the commercial break,

then you can go.



   

                   

Just hold it.



   

                   

Don't taunt the kids.



   

                   

- I'm trying to be helpful.

- Don't start trouble.



   

                   

You haven't seen trouble!

Wait till next commercial break.



   

                   

- What's the problem?

- Nothing.



   

                   

Lily! Please!



   

                   

Get away from me, you shithead!



   

                   

Watch out, watch out.



   

                   

Don't eat these.



   

                   

Here you go.



   

                   

Out of the trash!



   

                   

Phil, are you there?

It's Chad.



   

                   

I'm going to put you in touch

with Janet, Frank's assistant.



   

                   

And she'll see what she can do,

all right?



   

                   

Thank you, and good luck

to you and your mother.



   

                   

Thanks, man. You, too.

Janet, are you there?



   

                   

All right, Janet,

you have Phil Parma.



   

                   

I have cancer, Mary.

I have about two months.



   

                   

I have no time.

It's in my bones.



   

                   

I don't have a chance.



   

                   

I'm fucked.



   

                   

And fifteen seconds.



   

                   

Ten seconds.



   

                   

And five, four, three, two...



   

                   

We're back,

ready for Round Two!



   

                   

And we're talking to our

adult contestants here today.



   

                   

Mim, it says here that you live

in Chatsworth, California...



   

                   

and that you have two kids.



   

                   

That's right.

I have a six-year-old...



   

                   

Do you know who I am?



   

                   

You're a friend of the family,

I presume.



   

                   

What does that mean?



   

                   

Nothing special.

Just a spoke in the wheel.



   

                   

You talk in rhymes

and riddles and Rub-a-Dub.



   

                   

But that doesn't mean

anything to me.



   

                   

See, I used to be smart.



   

                   

I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith.



   

                   

I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith

from TV.



   

                   

It might have been

before my time.



   

                   

I remember.

In the Sixties, right?



   

                   

- I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith.

- Like you said.



   

                   

Smart kid!



   

                   

You got struck

by lightning once.



   

                   

So what?



   

                   

- I heard about that.

- Did it hurt?



   

                   

But you're all right now.

So what's the what?



   

                   

- What?

- That's right.



   

                   

I used to be smart.

Now I'm just stupid.



   

                   

Brad, dear,

who was it that said...



   

                   

"A man of genius has seldom

been ruined but by himself"?



   

                   

It was

the lovely Samuel Johnson.



   

                   

Who also spoke of a fellow

"who was not only dull...



   

                   

"but a cause of dullness

in others."



   

                   

"The cause of dullness

in others."



   

                   

Picky, picky!



   

                   

Let me tell you this.



   

                   

Samuel Johnson never

had his life shit on...



   

                   

and taken from him

and his money stolen!



   

                   

Who took his life and his money?



   

                   

His parents?

His mommy and daddy?



   

                   

Make him live this life

like this...



   

                   

A man of genius who gets

shit on as a child...



   

                   

and that scars! That hurts!



   

                   

Have you ever been

hit by lightning?



   

                   

It hurts.

It doesn't happen to everyone.



   

                   

It's an electrical charge.



   

                   

It finds its way

across the universe...



   

                   

and it lands in your body

and your head!



   

                   

And as for ruined

but by himself...



   

                   

not if his parents

took his freaking life...



   

                   

and his money

and tell you to do this...



   

                   

and to do that,

and if you don't...



   

                   

Your parents took your money

you won on that game show?



   

                   

Yes! They did.



   

                   

What does that mean,

a spoke in the wheel?



   

                   

Things go round and round,

don't they?



   

                   

Yes, they do. They do.



   

                   

But I'll make my dreams

come true.



   

                   

Sounds sad as a weeping willow.



   

                   

I used to be smart.



   

                   

But now I'm just stupid.



   

                   

Shall we drink to that?



   

                   

I want to talk a little bit more

about your background.



   

                   

You made

some references earlier...



   

                   

to subjective human experiences

and terrible things...



   

                   

Actually,

I'm confused about your past.



   

                   

Is that still lingering?



   

                   

It's so boring.



   

                   

Just want to clear

some things up.



   

                   

Excuse me.

Thank you, Muff.



   

                   

It's a funny thing that...



   

                   

This is an important element

of "Seduce and Destroy..."



   

                   

facing the past is an important

way of not making progress.



   

                   

This is something I tell my men

over and over and over.



   

                   

This isn't meant...



   

                   

I try to teach

my students to ask...



   

                   

"What is it in aid of?"



   

                   

Are you asking me that?



   

                   

Well, in trying to

figure out who you are...



   

                   

In aid of what?



   

                   

Frank, I'm saying that

in trying to figure out...



   

                   

I have more important things

to put myself into.



   

                   

I think this is

something important...



   

                   

you might need to think about

putting yourself into.



   

                   

Not really.



   

                   

It's not like I'm trying

to attack you here.



   

                   

This is how you want to spend

your time, go, go, go.



   

                   

But you'll be surprised

at what a waste it is.



   

                   

The most useless thing

in the world...



   

                   

is that which is behind me.

Chapter Three.



   

                   

We talked earlier

about your mother...



   

                   

and about

your father and his death.



   

                   

I don't want to be challenging,

but I have to ask.



   

                   

I just want to clarify

something that I understand...



   

                   

I'm not sure

I hear a question in here.



   

                   

I'm trying to put this

as delicately as I can.



   

                   

What's the question?



   

                   

Do you remember Miss Simms?



   

                   

I know a lot of women.

I'm sure she remembers me.



   

                   

From when you were a boy.

She lived in Tarzana.



   

                   

That's my old stomping ground.



   

                   

Is this the attack portion

of the interview?



   

                   

Is the girl coming in

for the kill?



   

                   

No. This is about

getting something right...



   

                   

and clarifying your answers

to an earlier question.



   

                   

What question?



   

                   

I was told that

your mother died, Frank.



   

                   

That's what you heard.



   

                   

Do you remember Miss Simms?



   

                   

I talked to Miss Simms,

your neighbour and caretaker...



   

                   

after your mother died in     .



   

                   

And in my research...



   

                   

I have you as the only son

of Earl and Lily Partridge.



   

                   

And what I learned

from Barbara Simms...



   

                   

is that your mother, Lily,

died in     .



   

                   

So, it's my understanding

that information supplied...



   

                   

by you and your company

and the answers...



   

                   

to the questions I've asked

is incorrect, Frank.



   

                   

And if I want to get

to the bottom...



   

                   

of who you are

and why you are...



   

                   

then I think that

your family history...



   

                   

your actual family history...



   

                   

Well, this is important.



   

                   

What is your fucking question?



   

                   

Well, I guess

my question's this...



   

                   

Why would you lie, Frank?



   

                   

Kids... adults...



   

                   

I would like you

to put yourself at a picnic.



   

                   

Place yourself there with

your family and friends...



   

                   

if you'd like.



   

                   

You'll hear three musical notes,

and you are to tell me...



   

                   

what it might represent

that you would find at a picnic.



   

                   

The first three notes.

Guys.



   

                   

Yes, Todd.



   

                   

Well, Jimmy, I know this.



   

                   

I have perfect pitch,

and that would be A-D-E...



   

                   

and that would represent

lemonade.



   

                   

For    .

Next notes, please.



   

                   

Got it. That's E-G-G,

which would be egg.



   

                   

For    . And the third

set of notes. Guys?



   

                   

You don't want any water?



   

                   

No. I just...



   

                   

I'm so fucked up

right now, Alan.



   

                   

There's just so much,

so many things.



   

                   

Are you on drugs right now?



   

                   

If I tell you something,

you're a lawyer, right?



   

                   

You can't say anything,

tell anybody.



   

                   

It's like a privilege.

Attorney/Client.



   

                   

- You understand?

- Not exactly.



   

                   

Like a shrink.



   

                   

If I go see a shrink,

I'm protected.



   

                   

I can say things... Fuck!



   

                   

I don't know what I'm doing.



   

                   

Linda, you're safe.

It's all right.



   

                   

You're my friend.

You and Earl are clients.



   

                   

Whatever you want to say

won't leave this room.



   

                   

You have something

you want to say to me?



   

                   

I have to tell you something.

I have something to tell you.



   

                   

I want to change his will.



   

                   

Can I change his will?

I need to.



   

                   

No, you can't change his will.

Only Earl can.



   

                   

No, you see, I never loved him.



   

                   

I never loved him. Earl.



   

                   

When I met him, I fucked him,

and I married him...



   

                   

because I wanted his money.

You understand?



   

                   

I'm telling you this...



   

                   

I've never told anyone,

I didn't love him...



   

                   

but now,

I know I'm in that will.



   

                   

We made that fucking thing,

and all the money I'll get.



   

                   

I don't want it,

because I love him so much now.



   

                   

I've fallen in love with him now

for real as he's dying.



   

                   

I look at him,

and he's about to go, Alan.



   

                   

He's moments...



   

                   

I took care of him through this.

What now, then?



   

                   

Let's listen.



   

                   

Hello, Mary.

How are you and the seven kids?



   

                   

As you probably heard by now...



   

                   

we sure gave that Pope

a run for his money.



   

                   

That would be Robert E. Lee.



   

                   

His wife was Mary Parke Custis.

I know he had seven children.



   

                   

And he would be

talking about Pope...



   

                   

who he defeated

at the Battle of Manassas.



   

                   

Absolutely right, Miss Mim.

Next question.



   

                   

Come on.

Snap out of it, man.



   

                   

Come on, Stanley.



   

                   

Bonjour, Josephine.



   

                   

Maintenant

je suis en Egypte.



   

                   

Yes, Mim.



   

                   

That would be Napoleon

speaking to Josephine.



   

                   

Absolutely right, for    .

Next voice.



   

                   

I don't want him to die.



   

                   

I didn't love him when we met...



   

                   

and I did so many bad things

to him that he doesn't know.



   

                   

Things that

I want to confess to him...



   

                   

But now I do. I love him.



   

                   

Linda, what kind of

medication are you on?



   

                   

This isn't any fucking

medication talking!



   

                   

Can you give me nothing?

You have power of attorney.



   

                   

Can you go in the final moments

and change the will?



   

                   

I don't want any money.



   

                   

I couldn't live with myself

with this thing that I've done.



   

                   

I fucked around.

I fucking cheated on him.



   

                   

There.

You're his lawyer, our lawyer.



   

                   

I am his wife. I broke

the contract of marriage.



   

                   

I fucked around on him

many times.



   

                   

I sucked other men's cocks.



   

                   

Adultery is not

against the law.



   

                   

You can't use it in court

to discredit the will.



   

                   

- Linda, calm down.

- I can't.



   

                   

You don't have

to change the will.



   

                   

If you want nothing, renounce

the will when the time comes.



   

                   

What does that mean?

Where does the money go?



   

                   

It goes to the nearest relative.



   

                   

What's that?

That's Frank?



   

                   

No. That can't happen.



   

                   

Earl doesn't want him

to have anything.



   

                   

That's what will happen.



   

                   

This is so fucked up

I can hardly stand it.



   

                   

Linda, stop!



   

                   

Now, you take a moment,

you breathe...



   

                   

and one thing at a time.



   

                   

- Shut the fuck up.

- Want me to help you?



   

                   

- Shut the fuck up!

- You need to sober up.



   

                   

Now, you must really

shut the fuck up.



   

                   

Please, shut the fuck up.



   

                   

I have to go.



   

                   

- Let me call you a car.

- Shut the fuck up!



   

                   

Now, imagine that you

are attending a jam session...



   

                   

of classical composers...



   

                   

and they have each done

an arrangement...



   

                   

of the classic favourite

"Whispering."



   

                   

Now, we have here

the New World Harmonica Trio...



   

                   

who are going to play...



   

                   

three variations on the theme...



   

                   

as three classical composers

might have written it.



   

                   

So you are to name

the first composer.



   

                   

Guys.



   

                   

Yes, Todd.



   

                   

That sounded like Brahms.



   

                   

A bit like his

"Hungarian Dance Number Six."



   

                   

That is excellent, Todd.

Next composer, guys.



   

                   

Stanley the man.



   

                   

I don't know the answer.



   

                   

That is not right.



   

                   

That's not right, Stanley.



   

                   

The correct answer is Ravel.



   

                   

Ravel.



   

                   

And now I'm gonna

have our three whistlers...



   

                   

please to present

the next musical...



   

                   

There were three

musical sections here...



   

                   

and this'll be the third section

that the whistlers...



   

                   

and they'll

play a piece that's...



   

                   

It's very recognizable.

Chopin, actually.



   

                   

And it's in the style

of "Marche Militaire."



   

                   

It's a very recognizable piece.



   

                   

So if you please

just listen to this...



   

                   

and I'm sure

you can identify the...



   

                   

I'm sort of giving away

the answer here.



   

                   

It's Chopin. I don't mean

to give away the answer.



   

                   

It's just... please just...



   

                   

Well, sing us a ditty, guys.

A Chopin ditty.



   

                   

Let's have a Chopin ditty here.

I can't...



   

                   

Go to the fucking card.



   

                   

Go to the card. Go.



   

                   

Go to the card.



   

                   

I'm back.



   

                   

For not afresh cup,

this is a good cup of coffee.



   

                   

Thank you.

What do you want to talk about?



   

                   

I don't know.



   

                   

Do you want to talk?



   

                   

What's your name?



   

                   

Jim Kurring.



   

                   

- Call    .

- I think I had a stroke.



   

                   

No, no, no.

I'm fine. I'm all right.



   

                   

I just want

to finish the show.



   

                   

No, we need

to call an ambulance.



   

                   

Get your fucking hands

off me!



   

                   

Let this guy help you.



   

                   

I'll tell you what happened.



   

                   

Call    .

Do it right now, Mary.



   

                   

I fell down. I couldn't see

for a minute, but I'm OK.



   

                   

Get your hands off me!



   

                   

- Did you piss your pants?!

- Shut up!



   

                   

- What's going on?

- Nothing! Go away!



   

                   

Don't tell me to go away,

Stanley.



   

                   

I'm the co-ordinator,

and you will answer me.



   

                   

Now, what is going on?



   

                   

- What's the problem?

- Nothing. I'm fine.



   

                   

Why didn't you answer

those questions?



   

                   

- I didn't know the answer.

- Bullshit!



   

                   

You know the answer

to every goddamn question.



   

                   

I knew the answers, and I'm not

half as smart as you...



   

                   

so what the hell happened?



   

                   

He pissed his pants.



   

                   

You pissed your pants?



   

                   

No, I didn't.

I'm fine.



   

                   

Stand up.



   

                   

- I said I'm fine.

- Stand up.



   

                   

Jesus, Stanley, what the fuck

did you do that for?



   

                   

I just want to keep playing.

I'm fine.



   

                   

That's great.



   

                   

You know that to a performer,

that's food, right?



   

                   

That shows that you love him,

and I'm sure he appreciates it.



   

                   

Everything's fine. Relax.



   

                   

Relax, darling.

Everything's fine.



   

                   

I'm OK.



   

                   

All right, see?

I'm all right.



   

                   

It's pretty fucking stupid,

isn't it?



   

                   

Jesus Christ.



   

                   

What the fuck

do they think out there?



   

                   

They must be laughing

their asses off.



   

                   

Tell them I got a bad knee

or some fucking thing.



   

                   

This is fucking funny.



   

                   

- What do you want to do?

- Just what I said.



   

                   

Are we going to continue

with this game?



   

                   

All right, you look at me!



   

                   

You are two days away

from this record.



   

                   

Nobody's ever done that.



   

                   

You get through this,

I'll get you anything you want.



   

                   

You just got

to get through this.



   

                   

Now, hang in there, buddy.



   

                   

I'm sorry I squeezed your arm.

I love you.



   

                   

- Are we doing this?

- Fucking stupidity.



   

                   

Why don't I put the medic on?



   

                   

I need to go with him.

Don't let him do this.



   

                   

He's been doing it

for thirty years.



   

                   

You don't know

how sick he really is.



   

                   

It's a fucking game show, Mary.



   

                   

Hear that?



   

                   

Does that hurt?



   

                   

- What is it?

- It's in my ear.



   

                   

It's TMJ.



   

                   

It's what it's called.

Technically.



   

                   

How about they just call it,

"Clicking Jaw"?



   

                   

- Pain in the jaw, yeah.

- How about that?



   

                   

Easier to remember.



   

                   

Yeah. It gets...



   

                   

I don't even know

if I have it, actually.



   

                   

I'm sorry.



   

                   

  -L-  

I'm currently Code Seven.



   

                   

I'm sorry.

This is my job.



   

                   

  -L-   roger.



   

                   

We were just getting warmed up.



   

                   

Yeah. I gotta go.



   

                   

Well, if this joker

shows up again...



   

                   

or you got your music

up too loud...



   

                   

maybe we can have

another cup of coffee.



   

                   

If you're not here for a    .



   

                   

No. Do not joke about that.



   

                   

I seen too many of those.



   

                   

I'm sorry.



   

                   

It's all right.

You were kidding.



   

                   

It's OK.



   

                   

All right.



   

                   

You keep your chin up

and your music down, OK?



   

                   

Yes, I will. It was nice

to meet you, Officer Jim.



   

                   

- Just Jim.

- Good.



   

                   

Bye-bye, Claudia.



   

                   

Yeah, what is it?

Did you forget something?



   

                   

No, I'm...



   

                   

I was wondering...



   

                   

Man, I feel like a bit

of a scumbucket doing this...



   

                   

since I came here

as an officer of the law...



   

                   

and the situation

and everything...



   

                   

but I feel like I'd be a fool...



   

                   

if I didn't do something

I really want to do...



   

                   

which is to ask you for a date.



   

                   

You want to go on a date

with me?



   

                   

Please, yes.



   

                   

- Well, is that illegal?

- Sort of.



   

                   

Then I'd like to go.

What do you want to do?



   

                   

I don't know.

I hadn't thought about it.



   

                   

That's not true.

I have thought about it.



   

                   

I've been thinking about it

since you opened the door.



   

                   

Really?



   

                   

I thought you were flirting

with me a little.



   

                   

You want to go tonight?



   

                   

I'm off tonight, yeah.



   

                   

- What time?

-  .  .



   

                   

- I don't get off until   .  .

-   .  .



   

                   

Yeah. Fine.



   

                   

Yeah. Bye.



   

                   

Frank, I'm really not trying

to attack you here.



   

                   

I think if you have something

that needs to be cleared up...



   

                   

I was told that your father

is Earl Partridge.



   

                   

I was told that he left

you and your mother...



   

                   

and you took care of your mother

during her illness...



   

                   

that you took care of her while

she struggled with cancer...



   

                   

and that Miss Simms

became your caretaker...



   

                   

when your mother

finally passed away.



   

                   

Can you talk about

your mother, Frank?



   

                   

No, no, not true.

And you know what?



   

                   

Even if you don't

get to pump her...



   

                   

you still need to practice

your skills on a feminist.



   

                   

I will.



   

                   

You need to do that.

This is Doc.



   

                   

Doc, it's Janet.

I have to talk to Frank.



   

                   

He's in the interview, Janet.



   

                   

Interrupt him.



   

                   

Get him on the phone

with me right away.



   

                   

What happened?



   

                   

Doc, go get Frank

and put him on the phone.



   

                   

Come on, Frank.



   

                   

What are you doing?



   

                   

What am I doing?



   

                   

I'm quietly judging you.



   

                   

And five, four, three, two...



   

                   

Oh, boy, what a day.

What a round.



   

                   

Back and in for me and...



   

                   

and the final

one-on-one round...



   

                   

to determine who's who today.



   

                   

Let's check the scores

on the board, shall we?



   

                   

Well, the kids

have an even     ...



   

                   

and the adults

are way up with forty-seven.



   

                   

Now, that doesn't mean

that this game...



   

                   

is out of reach for the kids.



   

                   

Elders,

who's the lucky so-and-so?



   

                   

It's me, Jimmy.



   

                   

Come on over, Mim.



   

                   

I don't want to go.

I can't do it this time.



   

                   

What the fuck are you

talking about?



   

                   

You have to go, Stanley.

You're the smartest.



   

                   

I don't want to go.

Why can't one of you do it?



   

                   

If you don't fucking stand up

and get over there...



   

                   

I'll beat your ass.



   

                   

I'm sick of being the one,

always has to do everything.



   

                   

I don't want

to be the one always.



   

                   

Kids, I don't even have to ask.



   

                   

Stanley,

get your butt over here.



   

                   

I'm sick.



   

                   

I'm sick here now.



   

                   

I confuse melancholy

with depression sometimes.



   

                   

You see?



   

                   

Why don't you run along now,

friend?



   

                   

Your dessert is getting cold.



   

                   

- I'm sick.

- Stay that way.



   

                   

I'm sick, and I'm in love.



   

                   

You seem the sort of person

who confuses the two.



   

                   

That's right!



   

                   

That's the first time

you've been right.



   

                   

I confuse the two,

and I don't care!



   

                   

I love you.



   

                   

I love you, and I'm sick.



   

                   

I'll talk to you tomorrow.



   

                   

I'm getting corrective

oral surgery tomorrow...



   

                   

for my teeth.



   

                   

I love you, Brad.



   

                   

Brad the bartender.



   

                   

If you want to love me back,

I'll be good to you.



   

                   

I'll be goddamn good for you.



   

                   

I won't be mad if you

don't know who said what.



   

                   

I won't punish you

if you get the answer wrong.



   

                   

I can teach and tell you...



   

                   

You have a special secret crush

over there, I think.



   

                   

Don't treat him too lovely.

He might get hurt.



   

                   

You shut up!

Mind your own business.



   

                   

Gently, son!



   

                   

Brad,

I know you don't love me now.



   

                   

It's a dangerous thing

to confuse children with angels.



   

                   

Want to know the common element

for the entire group?



   

                   

I'll tell you the answer,

because I had that one.



   

                   

I had that question.



   

                   

Carbon. Carbon.



   

                   

In pencil lead,

it's in the form of graphite.



   

                   

In coal, it's mixed up

with other impurities.



   

                   

And in the diamond,

it's in hard form.



   

                   

All we really wanted to know

was the common element...



   

                   

but thank you for all

that unnecessary knowledge.



   

                   

Kids. Heads so full

of useless knowledge.



   

                   

Thank you. Thank you.



   

                   

And the book says, "We may be

through with the past...



   

                   

"but the past is not

through with us!"



   

                   

And...



   

                   

no, it is not dangerous

to confuse children with angels.



   

                   

Well, that is what I wait for.



   

                   

I wait for those calls.

And I wait and I pray.



   

                   

And sometimes Jesus says...



   

                   

"Jim, I got a surprise

for you today.



   

                   

"I want you to meet

this young lady, OK?



   

                   

"Now, where it goes

from there is up to you.



   

                   

"And I don't think

you're going to screw it up."



   

                   

And, God,

I'm telling you right now...



   

                   

I will not screw it up.



   

                   

You gave me an opportunity.



   

                   

I'm going to treat

this young lady right.



   

                   

I'm a happy cop.



   

                   

It's called jaywalking.

Slow down.



   

                   

I'm going to pass, Jimmy.



   

                   

Stanley, passing

to one of the other kids.



   

                   

We want Stanley to go, Jimmy.



   

                   

I don't want to go.



   

                   

I'm walking towards

the elevator, Janet.



   

                   

Fine. Phil,

are you still there?



   

                   

Yeah, I'm here.



   

                   

I want to ask you one question.



   

                   

Phil, have you talked

to anyone else about this?



   

                   

No, I haven't.



   

                   

Good, let's keep it that way.



   

                   

All the security and whatnot.

You understand?



   

                   

This is a delicate situation

for Frank and the family.



   

                   

What's going on, Janet?



   

                   

Doc, fuck off.



   

                   

Phil, hang in

just one more minute.



   

                   

- I'm putting you on hold.

- Thank you.



   

                   

How close are you, Doc?



   

                   

Richard? Julia?

Kids, what's going on?



   

                   

I need a player here

for one-on-one.



   

                   

We want Stanley to go, Jimmy,

and we're not sure why he won't.



   

                   

I always answer the questions...



   

                   

and I don't want

to do it anymore.



   

                   

What the fuck is he doing?

What's wrong with him?



   

                   

I have no idea.



   

                   

I'm getting off of the elevator,

Janet.



   

                   

Good. Good boy.



   

                   

I'm walking down the hall.



   

                   

This kid ain't getting up,

we don't have a show.



   

                   

Live television,

ladies and germs.



   

                   

Little prick.



   

                   

What's this, a point?

A game?



   

                   

What the hell's he doing?



   

                   

Get the fuck up, kid, come on.



   

                   

Time's up.



   

                   

So that's what you did?

You sat it out?



   

                   

You wanted my time.

I gave it to you.



   

                   

You called me a liar.

You made accusations.



   

                   

You said,

"Well, if I had known...



   

                   

"then I wouldn't have asked."



   

                   

So it's not an attack.



   

                   

I don't want to be the sort

who doesn't keep his word.



    

                   

So I gave you

my fucking time, bitch.



    

                   

Now, fuck...



    

                   

It's fucking Janet.



    

                   

There's a situation

on the phone.



    

                   

The indecision of a child,

ladies and germs.



    

                   

This isn't funny.



    

                   

This isn't cute.



    

                   

See, the way we're looked at?



    

                   

Because I'm not a toy.



    

                   

I'm not a doll.



    

                   

The way we're looked at

because you think we're cute?



    

                   

Because... What?



    

                   

I'm made to feel like a freak...



    

                   

if I answer questions...



    

                   

or I'm smart...



    

                   

or I have to go to the bathroom?



    

                   

What is that, Jimmy?



    

                   

What is that?



    

                   

I'm asking you that.



    

                   

I'm not sure, Stanley.



    

                   

  -L-   I need help.



    

                   

We have shots fired.



    

                   

It's Hamlet to Claudius.



    

                   

"The sins of the father

laid upon the children..."



    

                   

is "Merchant of Venice."



    

                   

But borrowed from "Exodus"   .



    

                   

I'm sorry, Frank.



    

                   

I didn't know what else

you wanted me to do.



    

                   

I asked him

all the right questions.



    

                   

He's his nurse.

He's sitting there with him.



    

                   

I heard your father's voice

in the background.



    

                   

Wait.

He's there at their house?



    

                   

They're at the house.



    

                   

I asked him the exact address,

and he gave it.



    

                   

I know this is really hard

for you right now.



    

                   

If you're gonna give me things,

give me the information.



    

                   

I want the information.

That's what I want.



    

                   

What did he say?



    

                   

Because I am not

taking care of him.



    

                   

What does he want?



    

                   

Frank, what the fuck

do you want me to do?



    

                   

What I want you to do, Janet...



    

                   

is I want you to do

your fucking job!



    

                   

I am doing my fucking job!



    

                   

You fucking get on the phone.



    

                   

I'm not a doll!

I'm not silly and cute!



    

                   

I'm smart, so that

should make me something...



    

                   

something so people can watch

how silly it is he's smart!



    

                   

I know. I know things.



    

                   

I know... I know...



    

                   

I know I have to go

to the bathroom and I asked...



    

                   

Take us off the air.

Go to the credits.



    

                   

Roll the credits.



    

                   

God fucking damn it!

Son of a bitch!



    

                   

What the fuck?!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!



    

                   

Stanley, don't do this to me!



    

                   

I got to find that gun.



    

                   

Where is it, now?



    

                   

Where is it?



    

                   

All right, let's go.



    

                   

Where is it? Find it.



    

                   

Find it!



    

                   

Find the gun, Jim!



    

                   

What the fuck more

do you want me to say?



    

                   

You need to make a decision.



    

                   

Look, just give me a second.



    

                   

Give me a second.



    

                   

What the fuck, Frank?



    

                   

What do you want me to do?



    

                   

- What are you doing?

- I got Frank, Earl's son.



    

                   

- Hang up the phone.

- No, he asked me...



    

                   

Put the fucking phone down!



    

                   

- Hang it up!

- I can't!



    

                   

Frank, are you there?



    

                   

I want you to talk to him.



    

                   

I'm going put him on.



    

                   

Hang it up!

You don't do that!



    

                   

You don't call him.

You don't know.



    

                   

To get involved in this business

of his... my family.



    

                   

This is the family.

Me and him. Understand?



    

                   

There's no one else.

No one else!



    

                   

That man... that beautiful man...



    

                   

his son does not exist.

He's dead.



    

                   

Who asked you to do that?



    

                   

- Earl did.

- Bullshit!



    

                   

Bullshit!

He didn't ask you!



    

                   

He doesn't want to talk to him!



    

                   

So fuck you that he asked that!



    

                   

There's no one but me and him!

No one!



    

                   

He asked me.



    

                   

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.



    

                   

Mary, take me out of here.

I got to go home to Rose.



    

                   

Mary, take him home.



    

                   

- In the back.

- Did we win or lose?



    

                   

I don't know, Richard.



    

                   

You lost. They go to the score

the time they called it.



    

                   

That's not an official rule,

Luis.



    

                   

That's an official rule, baby.



    

                   

That's bullshit,

and you know it!



    

                   

Who says that?

In what rule book?



    

                   

This is different!

It's a game show!



    

                   

They don't go by

fucking sports rules!



    

                   

Richard, shut it and cut it out.



    

                   

If he hadn't

pissed his pants...



    

                   

we would have won

this little motherfucker!



    

                   

We had it!



    

                   

What'd you do with

my goddamn kid, Burt?



    

                   

Get your fucking hands off me,

you boy producer punk.



    

                   

Oh, Lord,

why is this happening to me?



    

                   

God, please help me

figure it out.



    

                   

I'm lost out here.



    

                   

I don't understand

why it's happening, God.



    

                   

Please, God.



    

                   

Whatever it is I did,

I'll fix it.



    

                   

I'll do the right thing.



    

                   

Please, God,

help me find the gun.



    

                   

Listen, Phil.



    

                   

I'm sorry.



    

                   

I'm sorry I slapped your face.



    

                   

I don't know what I'm doing.



    

                   

I don't know how to do this.



    

                   

I do things, and I fuck up.



    

                   

I fucked up.



    

                   

Can you forgive me?



    

                   

It's all right.



    

                   

Can you tell him I'm sorry...



    

                   

for the things I've done,

that I fucked up?



    

                   

I'm sorry.



    

                   

I'm going to turn away

and walk away...



    

                   

and not look at him,

and not see my man, my Earl.



    

                   

And tell him...



    

                   

"It's OK. I'm OK."



    

                   

Tell him,

"Thank you for taking care..."



    

                   

The whole thing's OK with me.



    

                   

And I know.





 

                   

Welcome back from the break!



 

                   

How'd you guys

like those nachos?



 

                   

You are not here

for the fucking food.



 

                   

You are here for me

to enlighten you, edify you...



 

                   

to send you off into the now

not-so-unknown future.



 

                   

So come along with me.



 

                   

"How to fake like you

are nice and caring."



 

                   

No, I don't want a microphone.



 

                   

Now, this...



  

                   

this is quite

an important chapter...



  

                   

as you will see.



  

                   

But let's get down

to brass tacks.



  

                   

Let's get right down to it,

boys.



  

                   

Men are shit.



  

                   

What? Men are shit.



  

                   

Isn't that what they say?



  

                   

Because we do bad things,

don't we?



  

                   

We do horrible, heinous,

terrible things.



  

                   

Things that no woman

would ever do.



  

                   

No, women, they don't lie.



  

                   

No, women don't cheat.



  

                   

Women don't manipulate us.



  

                   

But you see what I'm getting at.



  

                   

You see what society does?



  

                   

Little boys, it's, "Wow, woman!"



  

                   

We are taught to apologize.



  

                   

"I am sorry.



  

                   

"I am so sorry, baby.

I am so sorry."



  

                   

What is it that...



  

                   

What is it that we need?



  

                   

Is it their pussies?

Their love?



  

                   

Mommy wouldn't

let me play soccer...



  

                   

and Daddy, he hit me,

so that's who I am.



  

                   

That's why I do what I do?



  

                   

Fucking bullshit.



  

                   

I will not apologize

for who I am.



  

                   

I will not apologize

for what I need.



  

                   

I will not apologize

for what I want!



  

                   

Go to your blue booklets now.



  

                   

I want you to turn to page   

in your blue booklets.



  

                   

This is fucking bullshit!



  

                   

I want you to go

to your white books.



  

                   

That's what I want you to go to.



  

                   

Go to twenty-three

in your white books.



  

                   

"How to fake like you are

a nice and caring person."



  

                   

Hey, come here.



  

                   

I'm...



  

                   

I'm gonna try talk.



  

                   

You know, I'm trying to...



  

                   

to say something-something.



  

                   

Do you know Lily, Phil?

Do you know her?



  

                   

No, I don't.



  

                   

She's my love, my life,

love of it.



  

                   

In school...



  

                   

I'm twelve years old in school,

in sixth grade.



  

                   

I saw her.



  

                   

I didn't go to that school,

but...



  

                   

but we met.



  

                   

My friend knew her.



  

                   

I said...



  

                   

"What's that girl?

How's that Lily?"



  

                   

"Oh, she's bad.

She sleeps with guys."



  

                   

Yeah, he said this,

but then sometimes...



  

                   

I went to another school,

you see.



  

                   

But then...



  

                   

When high school at an end,

what's that?



  

                   

What is that when

it gets to the end?



  

                   

Graduation.



  

                   

No, no, the grade.

What grade are you in?



  

                   

That's twelfth.



  

                   

So I went to her school

for that grade.



  

                   

Grade... that's grade twelve.



  

                   

And we meet.



  

                   

She was...



  

                   

fucking like a doll.



  

                   

A beautiful porcelain doll.



  

                   

And the hips...



  

                   

The child-bearing hips,

you know that?



  

                   

I know.



  

                   

So beautiful.



  

                   

And I cheated on her...



  

                   

over and over and over again.



  

                   

Because I wanted to be a man.



  

                   

And I didn't want her

to be a woman.



  

                   

A smart, free person

who was something.



  

                   

My fucking mind then.



  

                   

So stupid, that fucking mind.



  

                   

Stupid.



  

                   

Jesus Christ!



  

                   

What would I think?



  

                   

Did I think for what I'd done?



  

                   

She was my wife

for twenty-three years...



  

                   

and I went behind her

over and over.



  

                   

Fucking asshole that I am.



  

                   

I'd go out and I'd fuck...



  

                   

and I'd come home

and get in her bed...



  

                   

and say, "I love you."



  

                   

This is Jack's mother.



  

                   

His mother, Lily.



   

                   

These two...



   

                   

that I had...



   

                   

and I lost.



   

                   

This is the regret

that you make.



   

                   

This is the...



   

                   

regret that you make

and the something you take...



   

                   

and the blah, blah, blah...



   

                   

something, something.



   

                   

Gimme a cigarette.



   

                   

Mistakes like this...



   

                   

you don't make.



   

                   

Sometimes...



   

                   

you make some and OK.



   

                   

Not OK, sometimes,

you make other ones.



   

                   

Know that you should do better.



   

                   

I loved Lily.



   

                   

I cheated on her.



   

                   

She was my wife

for twenty-three years.



   

                   

And I have a son.



   

                   

And she has cancer.



   

                   

And I'm not there...



   

                   

and he's forced

to take care of her.



   

                   

He's fourteen years old.



   

                   

To...



   

                   

To take care of his mother

and...



   

                   

and watch her die on him.



   

                   

A little kid, and I'm not there.



   

                   

And she does die.



   

                   

I loved her so.



   

                   

And she knew what I did.



   

                   

She knew all the fucking

stupid things I'd done.



   

                   

But the love...



   

                   

was stronger than anything

you can think of.



   

                   

The goddamn regret.



   

                   

And I'll die.



   

                   

Now I'll die,

and I'll tell you what...



   

                   

the biggest regret of my life...



   

                   

I let my love go.



   

                   

What did I do?



   

                   

I'm sixty-five years old.



   

                   

And I'm ashamed.



   

                   

Million years ago...



   

                   

The fucking regret and guilt,

these things...



   

                   

Don't ever let anyone

ever say to you...



   

                   

you shouldn't regret anything.



   

                   

Don't do that.



   

                   

You regret

what you fucking want.



   

                   

Use that. Use that.



   

                   

Use that regret for anything,

any way you want.



   

                   

You can use it, OK?



   

                   

Oh, God.



   

                   

This is a long way to go

with no punch.



   

                   

A little moral...



   

                   

Story, I say.



   

                   

Love.



   

                   

This fucking life...



   

                   

it's so fucking hard.



   

                   

So long.



   

                   

Life ain't short.

It's long.



   

                   

It's long, God damn it.



   

                   

God damn.



   

                   

What did I do?



   

                   

Phil. Phil, help me.



   

                   

What did I do?



   

                   

Juan, how you doing?



   

                   

How you feeling?



   

                   

I think I'm going to stay on,

stick it out.



   

                   

Are you sure?



   

                   

All right, good night.



   

                   

You're so stupid.



   

                   

Is love



   

                   

What you thought



   

                   

When you first



   

                   

Began, yeah



   

                   

You got



   

                   

What you want



   

                   

You can hardly stand it, though



   

                   

By now you know it's not



   

                   

Going to stop



   

                   

It's not going to stop



   

                   

It's not going to stop



   

                   

Till you wise up



   

                   

You're sure



   

                   

There's a cure



   

                   

And you have finally found it



   

                   

You think



   

                   

One drink



   

                   

Will shrink you till



   

                   

You're underground

and living down



   

                   

But it's not going to stop



   

                   

It's not going to stop



   

                   

It's not going to stop



   

                   

Till you wise up



   

                   

Prepare a list for what you need



   

                   

Before you sign away the deed



   

                   

'Cause it's not going to stop



   

                   

It's not going to stop



   

                   

It's not going to stop



   

                   

Till you wise up



   

                   

No, it's not going to stop



   

                   

Till you wise up



   

                   

No, it's not going to stop



   

                   

So just give up



   

                   

You know, you know, you know.



   

                   

Go, go, go.



   

                   

Hello, dear.

I need a favour.



   

                   

All right.

Back up, Max.



   

                   

Back up, Miles.



   

                   

Hello. You Frank?

Jack, right?



   

                   

Are you Phil?



   

                   

Tried to get in touch with you.

We got disconnected.



   

                   

Stay in, Max!

Hey, come on! Please!



   

                   

- I got the message.

- I couldn't find you.



   

                   

Earl asked me, so I looked

through the address books.



   

                   

There's no number.

There's nothing.



   

                   

Is what's-her-name...



   

                   

Linda? No, she went out.

She's not here.



   

                   

Hey, I'm sorry.



   

                   

I don't know what to do here.



   

                   

Your dad asked me

to get in touch with you...



   

                   

and I didn't have the number.



   

                   

I called the number.

Want to come in?



   

                   

- Yeah. Hey, Phil?

- Yeah?



   

                   

I will drop-kick those fucking

dogs if they come near me.



   

                   

All right.



   

                   

Come on in.

This is Blake.



   

                   

- Clear them out.

- This is Miles.



   

                   

Here we go.



   

                   

All right, he's in here.



   

                   

So we all go in here.



   

                   

Want to go in?



   

                   

No, I just stand here

a second, Phil.



   

                   

Lady!



   

                   

Hey, wake up.



   

                   

What's wrong with you?



   

                   

Here.



   

                   

How do we do this, then?



   

                   

Well, we just do it.



   

                   

We do it.

We figure it out.



   

                   

We do as we do, I guess.



   

                   

Do you love me, Rose?



   

                   

You are my handsome man.



   

                   

I'm a bad person.



   

                   

I mean...



   

                   

I'm telling you this now...



   

                   

because I want everything

to be clear and clean...



   

                   

and I want to apologize for me

and the stupid things I've done.



   

                   

I've cheated on you.



   

                   

I've cheated on you,

and... it kills me...



   

                   

and the guilt

of what I've done...



   

                   

I don't want you

to think that...



   

                   

Maybe you knew.



   

                   

I think maybe you've known.



   

                   

So I hope this is not

just for me...



   

                   

for me to make myself feel

better about what I've done...



   

                   

but for you not to feel

like you're sitting there...



   

                   

like a jerk.



   

                   

You're the good one.



   

                   

You understand?



   

                   

Did you ever go out

with someone and just lie...



   

                   

question after question?



   

                   

Maybe you're trying to

make yourself look cool...



   

                   

or better than you are

or whatever...



   

                   

smarter, cooler...



   

                   

and you just...



   

                   

not really lie...



   

                   

but maybe you just don't

say everything.



   

                   

That's a natural thing.



   

                   

You know, two people go out

on a date or something.



   

                   

They want to impress people...



   

                   

the other person.



   

                   

Or they're scared

they'll say something...



   

                   

that will make the other person

not like them.



   

                   

- Thank you.

- Thank you.



   

                   

So you've done it?



   

                   

I don't go out very often.



   

                   

Why not?



   

                   

I never found someone, really,

that I'd like to go out with.



   

                   

I bet you say that

to all the girls.



   

                   

Want to make a deal with me?



   

                   

What I just said...



   

                   

people afraid to say things...



   

                   

no guts to say the things

that are real or something...



   

                   

to not do that.



   

                   

To not do that

that maybe we've done before.



   

                   

Let's make a deal.



   

                   

I'll tell you everything,

and you tell me everything...



   

                   

and maybe we can get through

all the piss, shit, and lies...



   

                   

that kill other people.



   

                   

"Piss and shit."



   

                   

What?



   

                   

You really use strong language.



   

                   

I'm sorry.



   

                   

No, it's fine.



   

                   

I didn't mean... It seems vulgar

or something, I know.



   

                   

- It's fine.

- I'm sorry.



   

                   

It's nothing.

I'm sorry.



   

                   

I'm gonna run to the bathroom

for a minute maybe, just...



   

                   

I'm going to go in.

Are the dogs in there?



   

                   

Yeah, but they stay

by the window.



   

                   

I want you to come in with me

and stay away from me.



   

                   

I want you there

in case he needs anything...



   

                   

because I am not

going to help him.



   

                   

And, Phil, I will drop-kick

the fucking dogs...



   

                   

if they come near me.



   

                   

You don't look that bad.



   

                   

You prick.



   

                   

"Cocksucker." That's what you

used to like to say, right?



   

                   

"Cocksucker."



   

                   

But you are a cocksucker, Earl.



   

                   

It hurts, doesn't it?



   

                   

You in a lot of pain?



   

                   

She was in a lot of pain.



   

                   

Right to the end,

she was in a lot of pain.



   

                   

I know because I was there.



   

                   

You didn't like illness,

though, do you?



   

                   

I was there.



   

                   

She waited for your call.



   

                   

For you to come.



   

                   

I am not going to cry.



   

                   

I am not going to cry for you!



   

                   

You cocksucker,

I know you can hear me.



   

                   

I want you to know

that I hate your fucking guts.



   

                   

You can just fucking die,

you fuck.



   

                   

And I hope it hurts.

I fucking hope it hurts.



   

                   

Her resps are down to six.



   

                   

Let's get the gurney over here.



   

                   

Check that ego



   

                   

Come off it,

I'm a prophet



   

                   

The professor



   

                   

I'm gonna teach you

'bout the Worm



   

                   

Who eventually turned

to catch wreck



   

                   

With the neck

of a long-time oppressor



   

                   

And he's runnin' from the devil



   

                   

But the debt is always gainin'



   

                   

And if he's worth bein' hurt



   

                   

He's worth bringin' pain in



   

                   

Do you feel better

now that you've said this?



   

                   

I don't know.



   

                   

Well, I'm not... mad.



   

                   

Well, I am, but I'm... not.



   

                   

You know?



   

                   

I love you so much, Rose.



   

                   

I'm not through

asking my questions.



   

                   

Why doesn't Claudia...



   

                   

talk to you, Jimmy?



   

                   

Why?



   

                   

Because we've...



   

                   

We both don't know.

What do you mean?



   

                   

No, I think you know.



   

                   

Maybe...



   

                   

I don't.



   

                   

Say it, Jimmy.



   

                   

I wanted to do that.



   

                   

Well...



   

                   

That felt good to do...

to do what I wanted.



   

                   

Can I tell you something?



   

                   

Yeah, of course.



   

                   

I'm really nervous

that you're gonna hate me soon.



   

                   

You're gonna find stuff out

about me and hate me.



   

                   

No. Like what?

What do you mean?



   

                   

You have so much,

so many good things...



   

                   

and you seem so together.



   

                   

You're a police officer...



   

                   

straight and put together

without any problems.



   

                   

- I lost my gun today.

- What?



   

                   

I lost my gun today...



   

                   

and I'm the laughingstock

of a lot of people.



   

                   

I wanted to tell you.

I wanted you to know.



   

                   

It's on my mind.



   

                   

It makes me look like a fool.



   

                   

And I feel like a fool.



   

                   

You asked that

we should say things...



   

                   

say what we're thinking

and not lie about things.



   

                   

I can tell you

that I lost my gun today.



   

                   

I'm not a good cop.



   

                   

I'm looked down at,

and I know that...



   

                   

and I'm scared that once you

find out, you won't like me.



   

                   

- Jim, that was so...

- I'm sorry.



   

                   

...great what you just said.



   

                   

I haven't been on a date

since I was married, and...



   

                   

that was three years ago.



   

                   

Whatever you want to tell me...



   

                   

whatever you think

might scare me won't.



   

                   

I will listen to you.



   

                   

I'll be a good listener

if that's what you want.



   

                   

And I won't judge you.



   

                   

I know I do that sometimes.

I won't.



   

                   

And I can listen.



   

                   

And you shouldn't be scared

of scaring me off...



   

                   

or whatever you think

that I think and on and on.



   

                   

Just say it, whatever it is,

and I'll listen.



   

                   

You don't know how fucking

stupid and crazy I am.



   

                   

It's OK.



   

                   

I got troubles, OK?



   

                   

I'll take everything

at face value.



   

                   

I started this, didn't I?

Fuck!



   

                   

Whatever it is, just say it.



   

                   

You'll see.



   

                   

You want to kiss me?



   

                   

Yes, I do.



   

                   

Say it, Jimmy.



   

                   

I think she thinks...



   

                   

that I may have molested her.



   

                   

She thinks terrible things that

somehow got into her head...



   

                   

that I may have done.



   

                   

She said that to me last time

when it was...



   

                   

Ten years ago

she walked out the door.



   

                   

"You touched me wrong.

I know that."



   

                   

Some crazy thought in her head.



   

                   

Did you ever touch her?



   

                   

I don't know.



   

                   

I don't know.

I really don't.



   

                   

But you can't say.



   

                   

I don't know what I've done.



   

                   

Yes, you do. You do!



   

                   

But you won't say.



   

                   

I don't know.



   

                   

What? Please. Please.



   

                   

You deserve to die alone

for what you've done!



   

                   

I don't know what I've done.



   

                   

Yes, you do!



   

                   

If I said that I knew,

would you stay?



   

                   

But I don't know what I've done.



   

                   

You should know better!



   

                   

Now that I've met you, would you

object to never seeing me again?



   

                   

What?



   

                   

Just say no.



   

                   

I won't say no.

Wait, Claudia.



   

                   

Just let me go, Jimmy.



   

                   

What is it?

Please, please.



   

                   

Why didn't you call?



   

                   

I fucking hate you.



   

                   

God damn you, fucking asshole.



   

                   

Oh, God, you fucking asshole.



   

                   

Don't go away,

you fucking asshole.



   

                   

Oh, God, don't go away,

you fucking asshole.



   

                   

What am I doing?



   

                   

What the fuck am I doing?



   

                   

Oh, fuck.



   

                   

What?



   

                   

What are you doing, dummy?



   

                   

Oh, brother.



   

                   

There are frogs

falling from the sky.



   

                   

Come on! Come on!



   

                   

Claudia, it's Mom!

Open the door, honey!



   

                   

Claudia, are you there?



   

                   

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy!



   

                   

All right. All right.



   

                   

It's OK.

It's all right now.



   

                   

It's OK.

It's gonna be all right.



   

                   

This happens.



   

                   

This is something that happens.



   

                   

And there is the account

of the hanging of three men...



   

                   

and a scuba diver...



   

                   

and a suicide.



   

                   

There are stories of

coincidence and chance...



   

                   

and intersections

and strange things told...



   

                   

and which is which

and who only knows?



   

                   

And we generally say...



   

                   

"Well, if that was in a movie,

I wouldn't believe it."



   

                   

Someone's so-and-so

met someone else's so-and-so...



   

                   

and so on.



   

                   

And it is in the humble opinion

of this narrator...



   

                   

that strange things

happen all the time.



   

                   

And so it goes, and so it goes.



   

                   

And the book says...



   

                   

"We may be through

with the past...



   

                   

"but the past

ain't through with us."



   

                   

I'm sorry, Jack.



   

                   

It's the hospital

calling about Linda.



   

                   

Who?



   

                   

Linda.

She's in the hospital.



   

                   

I figured you should probably

talk to them since you're here.



   

                   

Is she gonna be all right?



   

                   

Could you please tell me

where you're located?



   

                   

Are you with us, Linda? Good.



   

                   

It is, Linda, isn't it?



   

                   

Just relax. That's it.



   

                   

You'll get through this.



   

                   

Dad.



   

                   

Dad, you need to be nicer to me.



   

                   

Go to bed.



   

                   

You have to be nicer to me, Dad.



   

                   

Go to bed.



   

                   

I know I did a stupid thing.



   

                   

So stupid.



   

                   

Getting braces.



   

                   

I thought...



   

                   

I thought he would love me.



   

                   

Getting... braces.



   

                   

For what?



   

                   

For something I don't even...



   

                   

I don't know where

to put things, you know?



   

                   

I really do have love to give.



   

                   

I just don't know

where to put it.



   

                   

A lot of people think this is

just a job that you go to.



   

                   

Take a lunch hour...

job's over.



   

                   

Something like that.



   

                   

But it's a   -hour deal.



   

                   

No two ways about it.



   

                   

And what most people

don't see...



   

                   

is just how hard it is

to do the right thing.



   

                   

People think if I make

a judgement call...



   

                   

that's a judgement on them,

but that is not what I do.



   

                   

And that's not

what should be done.



   

                   

I have to take everything...



   

                   

and play it as it lays.



   

                   

Sometimes people

need a little help.



   

                   

I got a buddy who's

supposed to be real good...



   

                   

at corrective oral surgery.



   

                   

Sometimes people

need to be forgiven.



   

                   

And sometimes

they need to go to jail.



   

                   

Call me about that guy

with the teeth, OK?



   

                   

And that is a very

tricky thing on my part...



   

                   

making that call.



   

                   

I mean, the law is the law.



   

                   

And heck if I'm gonna break it.



   

                   

You can forgive someone.



   

                   

Well, that's the tough part.



   

                   

What can we forgive?



   

                   

Tough part of the job.



   

                   

Tough part of walking

down the street.



   

                   

I just wanted to come here...



   

                   

to come here

and say something...



   

                   

say something important,

something that you said.



   

                   

You said we should say things

and do things.



   

                   

Not lie, not keep things back...



   

                   

these sorts of things

that tear people up.



   

                   

Well, I'm gonna do that.



   

                   

I'm gonna do what you said,

Claudia.



   

                   

I can't let this go.



   

                   

I can't let you go.



   

                   

Now, you...



   

                   

You listen to me now.



   

                   

You're a good person.



   

                   

You're a good

and beautiful person...



   

                   

and I won't let you

walk out on me.



   

                   

And I won't let you

say those things...



   

                   

those things about how stupid

you are and this and that.



   

                   

I won't stand for that.



   

                   

You want to be with me...



   

                   

then you be with me.



   

                   

You see?









  

  

 
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