Special help by SergeiK
Ema Hesire, I know you're in there.
The wedding has been all arranged.
Please, gods. Please get me out of this.
You turned down the jeweler. You turned down the grain merchant.
You turned down the Pharaoh's food taster. There's only one man left who'll have you:
You'll marry Hazzi-Ra.
So what does he do?
He's a fuel merchant.
-Mother. -All right, so he sells camel dung.
-Forget it. -You forget it.
Mother, I don't want to settle down. I want to do things and invent things.
I want to try things that nobody's ever tried before.
-I want to fly. -Sure.
And I want to smoke and tell your father to go to hell.
Emmy, if I thought we women...
...could any way change anything, don't you think I'd encourage you?
No. Don't. These are the times we live in.
Mother, there's got to be a better way.
Please, gods. Please help me find it.
Sure, the Nile is overflowing. There is a wheat shortage.
The Pharaoh has hemorrhoids.
The gods have bigger things to worry about than you.
What would you say if I told you, you get more beautiful every day?
What was that?
Arms and legs? God, how thoughtless. I'm sorry.
"I've got sunshine
"On a cloudy day
"When it's cold--" She needs a 10.
"Cold outside--" What do you think?
Speak up. Don't be shy, now.
"I got the month of May"
Now, that's the ticket.
Nothing beats a great pair of legs.
"What can make me feel this way"
"I got so much honey
"All the bees envy me
"I got the sweetest song that I can hear--"
Boss! Hi! Great. I was just coming to see you.
You know, you could get the dummy of the week award, Switcher.
-Yeah, she turned out pretty real. -I wasn't talking about her.
What do you think? It only took me six days.
I could turn out three or four a month.
You're supposed to knock off three or four of these a day, Switcher!
-Now, get back to work! -What about quality, boss?
Style and grace. These things take time.
That's it! You're fired!
Okay, but can I finish her?
I'm a sculptor. I'm trying to be a sculptor and she's my work of--
There you go.
You guys having a good time? Having fun at the party?
That's my boy.
Here you go.
Just one second. Here you go. Bye-bye.
Want a giraffe for the birthday boy? A monkey?
A pony? A tiger?
-How about a hint? -I want the big one, stupid.
That's the official Flights of Fancy balloon. How about a poodle?
Listen, biscuit-brain, my old man is paying for this party.
One giant balloon, coming up.
There you go. Have fun. Now, what do you want?
Biscuit-brain, what the hell do you think you're doing?
Take your hands off my kid!
-My balloon! -You're fired.
-Trimming the hedges long, Switcher? -Actually, no.
I'm really a sculptor.
But there's not too much work for us these days.
But no reason why hedges can't become art.
You're fired! Get your paycheck and get out of here!
What do you think?
What do I think?
I'm fired! Pick up my paycheck and get out.
-Look. The road warrior. -Hi, Roxie.
His Jag's in the shop. Hi.
It'd be nice if you'd pick me up in something with doors.
-Come on. -So where are we going to dinner?
I'm not that hungry.
I thought maybe we'd grab a hot dog, go for a walk, look at the moon.
You lost your job again?
No, I didn't lose it, I know where it is. Just somebody else has got it.
Can we get out of here?
-Good night, Mr. Wert. -Nice work, children.
-Good night, B.J. -See you tomorrow.
-Who's that? -That's B.J. Wert, the regional manager.
He is Illustra. Can we get this bucket of junk to go?
Yeah, I'm trying.
-Good night, Roxie. -Good night.
Must be nice having your own limo. Go from any funeral right to dinner.
This job at Illustra is destroying your sense of humor.
You gotta quit.
I'm not the one that can't deal with reality.
Reality is very disappointing.
I really do care about you.
But I think if we sleep together tonight, we'd only confuse things.
I think you should see a professional.
Professional? You mean a hooker?
No, a psychiatrist.
I can't afford a psychiatrist.
Then call one of those shrinks on the radio.
They're only good for little problems that fit between commercials.
My God! It's you!
I wanted to take you, but they wouldn't let me.
You're the first thing I've created in a really long time...
...that made me feel like an artist.
See you tomorrow.
Good morning! What a gentleman.
They're putting up the sign!
It's a skosh crooked.
Isn't this exciting! A customer lined up to get into our store.
-Tell me, do you like our new sign? -It's very nice.
-You've really been here 100 years? -Not personally, but the store, yes.
It was built by my grandfather, Tough Teddy Prince.
My father ran it until he passed away recently.
He was very old. And he died the way he wanted to.
In women's lingerie.
Heart attack, walking through the women's department.
They don't have that sign quite right yet.
-Look out! -Sorry, man.
I got it!
Young man, I'm sorry!
No, that's no problem!
-lf I can make it up to you in any way. -Yeah! I could use a job!
-What do you do? -Anything!
-When can you start? -As soon as I finish this!
-Young man, what's your name? -My name? Jonathan Switcher.
Thank you! My lucky day.
Every time I walk through these doors, I feel like I'm home.
I practically grew up here.
Greta Garbo used to get her makeup right over there.
Of course, you probably don't know who Greta Garbo is.
Sure, I do. Ninotchka, Grand Hotel.
I don't sleep much at night.
Neither do I.
At least, not in the two weeks since I've been in charge here.
I don't know how we're going to make this store great again.
Looks fine to me. What time do we open?
We are open.
I'm sure things'll pick up by lunch.
It's all going according to plan. It's like a ghost ship around here.
They're gonna be begging to sell this place within a month.
No, Timkin is no threat.
B.J., she's here.
Do you know what this young man just did?
-Shoplifting? -He saved my life!
Those incompetents you hired nearly got me killed.
If I were paranoid, I'd swear this was sabotage.
It's not as if I was turning away Harvard graduates.
If you know someone you feel is qualified to work here....
Yes! Jonathan Switcher. Let's show him our gratitude.
$5 should do it.
No! I want you to give him a job. Take good care of him.
What kind of work experience have you had?
I've had just about every job there is.
Briefly, I'd like to do something creative.
Maybe with, say, mannequins.
Please. Listen, I pride myself on being able to size up a job applicant...
...and see just what kind of executive potential he has.
I have just the job for you.
So, you got a new job. That's terrific. What is it?
Let's just say that thousands of dollars of merchandise...
...go through my hands every day.
I'm taking you out for a celebration dinner.
-All those panties, up to lingerie. -Panties. I'm into it.
-Did you say panties? -Panties?
Can't talk now. Pick you up at 8:00.
-See you then. -Bye.
I've seen him pick you up. That little pissant!
You can't tell me that he's satisfying you sexually.
That's none of your business.
I would like to make it my business.
I would love to sink my teeth into your little bottom.
Did Armand say something bad? Forgive me.
English and me, it's new. My tongue, it slides.
Look, our relationship is strictly business!
-You got that? -Yes.
I have some reports to get out by noon o'clock.
-See anything you like? -I was just looking for panties.
You found them.
However, my friend, you missed the lingerie department by four floors.
-Get going. -Right.
What was that?
I must be losing my mind.
All artists must fall in love with their creations, but you seem so special.
Roll over, Bill Shakespeare.
That's the sweetest sentiment these ears have ever heard.
-No, I was rehearsing a play. -I always find it best not to explain.
It adds a certain mystique to one's reputation.
No. I'm a regular kind of guy, okay?
Don't disappoint me.
When you're finished your conversation...
...bring her to window number 3.
-Sure. You got it. I'm Jonathan Switcher. -Hollywood.
Hollywood Montrose. Doesn't it just sing?
It sings, yeah.
I'm a window dresser here. We're going to have fun.
I am so glad you're working here.
-You are? -Why, of course I am, honey.
I never thought they'd hire anyone stranger than me.
-Identify yourself. -Jonathan Switcher, new stock boy.
Mr. Richards told me all about you.
I am Capt. Felix Maxwell, night security commander.
It's my responsibility to secure the perimeter here...
...at Prince and Company.
I didn't know there was danger of invasion.
There's no danger, as long as me and Rambo are on patrol.
I call him that because he likes to draw...
Just what is your assignment here tonight, boy?
I'm helping Hollywood with the window.
The little Mary has an assistant now?
-Where do you people come from? -Ohio.
You mean they got them in Ohio?
So, you like your new assignment?
Could have been worse. Could have put me on with a bigoted jerk.
Hold it there, boy! Did you have anybody particular in mind?
You think he meant anybody in particular, Rambo?
Don't let Felix get to you.
He just has a bad case of Miami Vice.
I gotta go, okay?
I promised my girlfriend I was gonna take her out tonight.
What happened? What did I say?
Albert left me, that bitch. He said my thighs are too fat.
-Do my thighs look too fat to you? -No.
You didn't look!
I don't know about men's thighs. They look fine to me. They really do.
Albert called me "cellulite city."
Maybe he's right. Maybe I should have my hips lifted.
No! If you want to lose weight, just diet.
Diets are no use. It's those jelly doughnuts.
They call to me in the middle of the night:
"Hollywood. Come and get me." I can't stay away from them.
-It's like you and women's dressing rooms. -No, that was a misunderstanding.
Have any of your friends ever been vacuumed out?
I heard those doctors in Beverly Hills...
...they just open you up and suck those fat cells out of there.
It sounds nice.
I wonder if you could do it yourself, with a vacuum cleaner or something.
Albert's been off work for an hour now.
There's just no telling what he's gotten himself into.
Take it easy, okay? Just go home and get yourself some rest. You'll be fine.
An artiste does not leave his work unfinished.
No, it looks fine to me.
In that case, I'm a dream that once was.
Look out, Albert, because Hollywood is on your case.
Yeah, go get him.
What's the matter? Don't you like your new scarf?
What a funny way to say hello.
What the hell's going on?
My name is Ema Hesire, but you can call me Emmy.
This is a joke, right?
A Prince and Company initiation? Who hired you? Hollywood.
Nobody hired me, Jonathan. You know who I am.
No, this can't be happening.
I know! The sign, the electricity. My brain synapse, it was destroyed.
I felt so sorry for you last night. You looked so lost and Ionely.
Last night, you saw me?
No. You can't be her.
When you made me, didn't you feel inspiration?
Almost like your hands were being moved by a force not of this world?
You made this body so that I could come to life!
Am I in the twilight zone or am I just nuts?
I'm so glad I picked you!
I'm gonna create someone who doesn't like me?
So, tell me your life story. It seems to have slipped my mind.
It's a long story.
See, I was born in 2514 B.C. in Edfu, Egypt.
-I'll be 4,501 next April. -I'll bake a cake.
Back then, I wasn't allowed to do anything.
Do you know I was supposed to marry?
-Who? -A camel dung dealer.
Would have been my guess. I'm stressed. I'm having a hallucination caused by stress.
Does this feel like a hallucination? Come on, let's go have some fun.
Food additives. It's food additives.
Except for early morning clouds...
...the weather for the Greater Philadelphia area should remain the same....
...with a slight increase in temperature.
The things I could've done with these tools!
-You like to work with your hands? -Yes. I love to build and invent things.
-Back in Edfu, I even made a pair of wings. -And I'm sure you flew.
That's right. Almost.
You still don't believe I'm real, do you?
I'm open for discussion.
Why don't we stick to good, old-fashioned hand tools for now.
-You've got good hands. -Thank you.
I like the way they felt when you were putting me together.
Tonight we'll do something different and special.
Something this store has never seen before.
I wish you didn't look so worried.
Easy for you to say. As a mannequin, you'll always have work.
Me, I'm gonna wind up in the nuthouse after this.
I wonder if insanity is covered in the employee health plan?
That's the dress I should wear in the window.
Don't do that.
You weren't so shy when you were creating me.
You weren't so real.
Good God, who are you?
Good morning, boys and girls. I don't see Zingy.
She just bit smiling Alan.
You look foxy! Can I ride you?
-I'll be walking to work. Thank you. -No! Don't be silly!
I thought our plans were for 8:00 last night. My mistake.
-I've got to talk to you. -We have nothing to talk about.
Take a hike, wussy pants.
Something happened last night.
I'm going crazy. I saw things that couldn't have happened.
Where were you? You look like you slept in the street.
-Prince and Company. -Prince and Company! Your big job!
You know the mannequin that I made?
She's there. She came to life. She knew who I was.
You could have told me you just decided to stand me up.
Instead, you come here to me lying with this ridiculous story!
No, I'm not lying, I'm insane.
Armand, let's get out of here.
Mom, when I was growing up, did I ever do anything really strange?
Yeah, I know I was always different.
Let me ask you this:
Is there any history of insanity in the family?
I mean, Grandma--
Grandma and Grandpa weren't half-brother and sister?
No, I'm fine, Ma.
You know, you're alone a lot. You start inventing things.
Women, you know, a beautiful woman....
Enough about me. How are you?
You ever have hallucinations?
This is America. You do not set the pace by redecorating.
-You demolish. -Of course. I'll remember that.
We'll build the best Illustra yet on that site.
And when I move up...
...someone will have to take my place here.
I'll be keeping my eye on you.
B.J.! You won't believe it!
Prince and Company has the most incredible window.
I'm talking fabu. People were lined up outside to get a peek.
I passed it coming back from the tanning session.
It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
You know, it really wasn't that great.
It was interesting.
In a jejune way, at best.
I didn't care for it myself.
You should have seen it! It was beyond brilliant!
There was 20 mannequins with tennis rackets coming out of....
Beej, he's just a twerpy stock boy!
That window was a fluke.
When I move up, somebody will have to take my place here.
But if you let that stock boy screw things up, it sure won't be you.
I've worked on this deal too long to have it ruined by some snot-nosed punk.
I can handle him.
I meant you!
Of course you did. But you know that the board meeting...
...is today. I guarantee the sale will go through.
Under your inspired leadership, Illustra will reach new heights. So we--
Where in the hell did you learn to kiss ass like that?
Did you take a class?
No, sir. That's a God-given gift.
Beej? B.J., are you there?
We'd all love to know what possessed Switcher to create such a window display.
Did you see those crowds gaping on the sidewalk?
It's an embarrassment!
Never you fear, your Hollywood is here.
Rumor Control has it that the board wants to fire your little behind.
You let me in there at those so-and-sos.
I'll straighten them out, tout de suite. How can they think of firing you?
They're business people.
They won't appreciate an emotional appeal.
I was hoping to avoid this, but this is an hour of desperation.
This is not the way to approach this, okay?
You don't think so?
Please don't tell anyone you saw me dressed like this.
I have a reputation to uphold.
My lips are sealed. I appreciate this demonstration.
That's it! A demonstration!
I'll create a media event. Call the newspaper, boys and girls.
The headline will read: "If Jonathan is fired, Hollywood flies."
Excuse me while I step out onto the window ledge.
-I'm sorry. -It's okay.
-I do get carried away sometimes. -No, not you.
That Richards, he gives men a bad name!
No! Mr. Richards said he was gonna fix everything for me.
That worm of a stock boy has created an affront to the dignity of this store.
I'll have it taken down immediately...
...and make sure that lunatic never works in this town again.
What say, shall we move on to the sale to Illustra?
Just a minute, Mr. Richards. I believe we're onto something here.
Maybe people will come to see our bold, new window displays.
If they come to look, they'll stay to buy.
With all due respect, Mrs. Timkin, it's a little late for that.
And we do have the firm offer from Illustra.
For one tenth the value of the store!
Besides, I can't bear the thought of selling this place...
...especially to that awful B.J. Wert.
We know how much the store means to you, ma'am...
...but, 10 percent is better than bankruptcy.
I think Mrs. Timkin is right. I move we postpone the sale for six weeks.
I second the motion.
All in favor?
This meeting is adjourned.
-Harris, would you bring Mr. Switcher in? -What? No, wait.
Good news. We've not only decided to keep you on...
...but I'm promoting you to visual merchandiser.
You're kidding! That's great!
What is it?
Just keep doing what you did last night and you'll be fine.
I'm not sure I can do it again.
Last night might have been a one-time inspiration.
Don't doubt yourself. Go with it. Feel it.
You're doing the job you were meant to do.
You must lead a charmed life.
It was all I could do to save your skin in here.
No thanks are necessary.
Good evening, Mr. Richards, sir.
Listen, that new stock boy, Switcher, has been promoted.
He'll be doing windows at night.
Just keep an eye on him for me.
Do you suspect pilferage, sir? I'd be happy to strip-search him.
You people that work at night scare me.
I just want you to let me know what he's up to, how he works.
Yes, sir. His M.O. Would you like that in a written report?
No. Rambo does.
-Just watch him. -Yes, sir.
Come on, Rambo.
We have got ourselves a mission.
Jesus Christ, Rambo!
Hi, it's me! Jonathan, remember?
I guess it was just temporary insanity.
"O ye of little faith."
You're back! I thought--
You remind me of my old boyfriend, Chris.
He didn't have any confidence, either.
-Chris? Who's Chris? -Just a sailor.
I told him that the world was round and I never saw him again.
Christopher Columbus? You knew him?
So, you didn't come here directly from Edfu?
No. I tried out different times and places but none of them ever seemed right.
You didn't happen to run into Michelangelo?
He wasn't very interested in me.
He was involved with some guy named David.
-Come on. -Were you there?
Mrs. Timkin loved what you did last night, but they think I did it.
They want me to keep doing brilliant windows.
-You've gotta help me. -Of course.
You are magic.
Where do they hide all the musicians?
-Come on, let's dance! -No. I can't.
Shake that thing!
Great. I want you to meet somebody. This is Emmy.
Maybe I can get G.I. Joe, and we can double sometime.
No! You don't understand. She--
Don't say nothing. It's cool.
It's obvious to this country girl that you're an A-number one creative freak.
Imagine pretending to be a stock boy when you're a major artiste.
I am so jealous.
Some people may find you strange, but not me. I respect that.
Create, honey, create!
I'll leave you two alone and go meet Albert for dinner.
-I hope he doesn't mind. -No.
Just when I think you're real, you vanish. What's with you?
-What's with me? -Didn't I tell you?
You're the only one who can see me like this.
-That's not exactly fair, is it? -Talk to them.
Do you hear something?
Wait a minute.
Okay, you Rambo, get ready.
What? Stay there!
Easy, Felix. I don't think she's armed.
You can fool Rambo, but it won't work with me, Switcher!
My brain is quicker than a--
I think that we've outdone ourselves.
Yeah, this one's kind of fun.
-Ready? -Let her rip.
-Good morning, Mrs. T. -Good morning, Jonathan.
What do you think? It's hot, there's gonna be meltdown.
Yes! Hot, smoking, burning, churning, whatever!
Hi, Jonathan. Hi.
It's me, Roxie.
I thought you weren't talking to me.
I wanted to see you. I want to know you're all right.
I gotta get some sleep. I work nights now, okay?
All right, but get up in time for lunch.
I'm taking you to Chez Jacques at 1:00.
You know where it is.
Yeah, I was fired from that place once, I almost burned that joint down.
It'll be just like old times.
And please don't stand me up again.
He'll be there.
Love that gal.
I see you're wearing the nighttime hair at lunch now. Looks good.
The flambe terrorist.
Will you not be satisfied till you burn the whole place down?
It was an accident.
I tried to show the customer a little flair.
-You're here to dine? -That's right, old boy!
By the way, the eyebrows are growing back nice.
Sorry I'm late, I overslept.
That's okay. You're only an hour late.
Just glad you made it.
I love this place. It's so romantic.
Yeah! Boy, they did a good job rebuilding the balcony.
It went up like a Roman candle.
Jonathan, it seems like I was all wrong about you.
And I have a way of making it up for you.
How would you like to be the chief window dresser at Illustra?
Word is out, Jonathan. You're hot.
Can you imagine being at Illustra?
-They want me? -We want you.
What if I told you I had a little help?
Fine. There's two of you? You can bring him along.
And what if I told you it was a very beautiful woman?
I wouldn't mind. Not in the least.
I can't do it.
-Monday, we'll work together. -You're not listening.
You can drive me to work.
I miss that quirky little motorcycle of yours.
-I'm not taking the job. -What? Why not?
If I'm one thing, I'm Ioyal.
Jonathan, you're not seriously turning me down?
I'm not the same guy I used to be. I finally found a place where I belong.
I'll see you around.
I got it! Don't panic! It's just a little one!
There's something strange...
...going on in the store at night, Mr. Richards.
Every time Rambo sees a mannequin, he gets so scared...
...his little pug tail comes right out his little mouth.
-Felix, you were in the war, weren't you? -Airborne. Yes, sir!
Did you jump out of a plane and land on your face?
I don't see what it has to do with Rambo.
Isn't it obvious Switcher is behind all of this?
An eternal failure is putting together the most magnificent displays in town.
You say you hear voices, there's no one there.
Just him and his dummies.
Is someone helping him?
Is he a ventriloquist? Some kind of mad genius?
Good questions all, sir.
Find out the answers!
Yes, sir! What about little Rambo?
Screw your dog!
Let's go, people, clear out.
-Clear out, lady! -Stop pushing, okay? I'm going.
Come on, Rambo. Tonight we nail that little fart blossom.
On behalf of Capt. Clark and the crew...
...we'd like to thank you for flying with Eastern.
And we hope you enjoy your fun-filled day in the Caribbean.
We deserve this vacation.
The sun feels pretty strong.
I could use some suntan lotion...
...if someone were willing to rub it on.
It's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it.
We are alone.
So, listen, we find him, get a picture of whoever this woman is...
...and get out.
If we can't hire Jonathan, maybe at least we can buy her out.
I don't know about you, but I've always wanted to make love...
...in the ladies' shoe department.
The smell of fine leather.
Can I show you something in your size?
You mean you took me serious?
You're gonna pay for that.
Stop it! Don't!
Okay. Show 'em what you're made of.
Go get 'em!
Rambo! This way! This means a court-martial!
You hear that? That must be them.
I wish it was us.
Come on. We've got them.
-Give up? -Never.
You are one sick puppy.
So this is the young lady he dumped you for?
I really should have listened when he asked me for help.
Tell me, when you were making love to him...
...did you ever scream, "Don't stop, woody"?
No, this is how I get my inspiration. I create.
I can tell by looking at you, you're not the artistic type.
You know, Mr. Richards told me to keep an eye on you, but...
...I think I'm gonna handle things...
...my own way.
You want to move your sweetheart?
That one was for Rambo.
Switcher, this is for my Mama!
Switcher, I'm gonna knock you into the middle of next week!
How'd you do that?
I was standing behind him, he didn't see me.
Teach him to mess with a man and his mannequin.
Where'd you go?
This is your last chance. We take him or we die trying!
I did it! I flew!
I really flew!
-Are you all right? -Terrific, incredible, I feel great!
Did you see how high I was?
I just had a thought.
You think we should name our first kid Pinocchio?
...are you sure this is right for you?
What about you? You've waited a long time.
How do you know you're not missing something better 5,000 years later?
Nothing could ever be better than being here with you.
This is one guy...
...who's never gonna leave your side.
It's almost sunrise. We can't possibly finish it!
Don't worry about a thing.
But we'll never dress the mannequins in time!
I don't believe it's lunch yet. Let's not dally.
Why don't you tell me?
It's that Switcher.
I caught him doing awful things to a half-naked dummy.
Richards, is this your idea of a security guard?
-I assure you I had nothing to do-- -You hired him, you fire him.
What if he's telling the truth?
How can you think that?
The man is a lunatic, but I've never known him to lie.
He's absolutely right.
Mr. Richards, this store has never been more successful.
It's all due to Jonathan Switcher.
He can put a rubber glove on his head and run naked in the store yelling:
"Hi, I'm a squid!"
Hi. 'Morning, Mrs. T.
This morning's window is your most brilliant yet.
Thank you. What happened here?
God only knows.
Felix, did you try and take Omaha Beach all by yourself, again?
-I was doing what Mr. Richards told me to. -I never said anything.
Is that right? Richards...
...when you take Felix to get his last paycheck...
...get your own as well.
Mrs. Timkin, you may be our grande dame...
...but I've had serious doubts...
...about a woman your age running this store.
I'll appeal to the board.
I can't imagine you're appealing to anybody.
Don't mess with this old chick, mister. Just pack it up.
Jonathan, let's go.
And get that dog out of the tree.
You can't do this!
We'll file a grievance with the union!
You're not in a union, you idiot.
Hi there, Jonathan. I didn't know you were in there.
What the hell are you people doing?
Have you seen the latest figures, children?
Sales are down 89 percent!
Prince and Company is going through the roof!
Now, I want this to stop, children. And if it doesn't, so help me God!
You are all dead meat!
Jonathan, it is my honor to inform you that starting Monday morning...
...you'll be the youngest vice president ever at Prince and Company.
-Congratulations. -Hear, hear!
-I don't know what to say. -Say, "Thank you."
Long live Prince and Company.
Son of a gun.
So, Richards was telling the truth.
I've been in this business 20 years.
Hell, half the guys in this store probably wear lace underwear...
We're talking a Sunday drive into some serious dementia.
It's our move now.
I'd do anything for Illustra...
...but these pictures could kind of ruin his life.
Roxie, I'd never ruin anyone's life.
I would, but only if it were absolutely necessary.
Roxie, you're not developing a conscience on me, are you?
No, I don't think so.
Anyway, I don't want to ruin his life...
...I just want to hire him.
...now I know how.
-Miss Thomas, hi. -Please, Jonathan, it's all yours.
-Thanks. Men's room is broken. -Of course, dear, whatever you say.
-Congratulations. -Thank you.
You won't believe what Mrs. Timkin and the board just told me.
-Vice president. -Jonathan, that's wonderful!
Tina, Moni, he's talking to the dummy again.
Nobody deserves it more.
I knew this would happen for you.
Creative freedom, practically my own boss, maybe some World Series tickets.
All right, I'm sorry. I'm going on and on.
I couldn't do this without you.
I won't take the job unless we can be together.
...you can't worry about what will happen to us.
What does that mean?
Girls, please, let's not be catty.
I simply will not tolerate eavesdropping unless I'm a part of it.
I assume my Jonathan is in there.
You can't go in. He's got company, if you know what I mean.
And who do you think introduced them?
At least she'll never say your hips are too fat.
Hollywood! Jeez, listen.
You know I would never bother you when you're getting a piece of wood...
...but this is muy importante. Your Hollywood needs help.
-What's up? -I need your creative muse.
I've always thought of myself as hot stuff, the very best at what I do.
But seeing you, let's just say it, I'm dirt.
Mold me. Shape me. I'm a fast learner.
Please, Jonathan, do not let them turn me out...
...into that dark night alone.
We can talk about designs and stuff...
...but when I work, I gotta work alone.
Of course. I understand perfectly.
You're an artiste, and that's the way you work.
I can respect that.
Jesus. Hollywood, listen, don't worry.
You can work as long as you want here, I'm a vice president now.
It's either our new vice president, the fairy or the dummy.
Emmy, please, you've gotta help me.
I can't come alive in front of Hollywood. Besides, you can do it on your own.
How can you say that? We do everything together!
You can't hold yourself back because of me.
Now, come on. Hollywood's waiting.
You'll do a masterpiece tonight.
I'll be waiting in the window.
Jonathan, how about a picture? Mom will think I've switched.
Hollywood, you're a genius!
I am? Yes!
Okay, we need to make a list.
30 feet of black nylon cord....
Sounds like my kind of list.
Easy, sugar. Okay....
You personally vouch for this guy?
He's worked at Prince and Company for 15 years.
I think he'll be just fine.
He's an imbecile, but....
This is him.
Felix, come in. This is Mr. B.J. Wert.
Mr. Wert, sir!
Felix, there are hundreds of mannequins at Prince and Company.
Will you be able to identify the one...
...Jonathan Switcher has a romantic interest in?
Absolutely, sir. I never forget a name or a face, Mr. Nertz.
Felix, we need your help, and if you succeed...
...you will have a cushy new job right here at Illustra.
We want to get Switcher's mannequin...
...out of the store and bring her here, secretly...
A covert operation.
I would be happy and proud to lead this mission, sir!
It's the most beautiful window I've ever seen.
It's all you.
-Not this time. -Every time.
You're part of me now. I got you in here.
Come on. You ready to go?
Are you sure you wanna do this?
Absolutely. You've been cooped up in that store too long.
Besides, who cares what people think?
Just put your arms around me and hold on tight.
Look, Jonathan, I know about your problem.
You're riding with a mannequin on the back of your motorcycle.
What is wrong with this picture?
Right, you two haven't met.
Roxie, this is Emmy. Emmy, Roxie.
Nice to meet.... My God, what am I saying?
Jonathan, I wanna give you one last chance.
Now, come to Illustra!
What is in this for you, Roxie? An office with a view?
I don't need Illustra or you.
I got friends here, people who care...
...and someone who makes me feel good about myself.
You'll be sorry! You're making a big mistake!
He's out of his mind! B.J. was right.
When I get that dummy, I'm gonna tear her hair out!
You know what you need to do right now?
You need to put him and this whole nasty affair out of your mind.
Now, how is the best way to do that?
By having a night of distasteable sex...
...with someone that you care absolutely nothing about.
And proudly, I would like to be that person.
Fine, let's just go to your place.
Drive fast before I have second thoughts!
Armand is the wind!
Mr. Richards, you'd better put some camouflage on, sir.
I am not going to put shoe polish on my face, thank you.
Now, could we please get into the store, Felix?
Look at him with a dummy!
Who are you to criticize?
It's him! It's her! That little prevert!
He's stealing her before we can!
Don't do anything rash!
We'll follow them, and at the right moment, grab her.
Don't worry, Mr. Richards, I'm an expert at surveillance.
Where'd he go?
That is it! No more of this surveillance crap.
Capt. Felix Maxwell...
...takes this from no mannequin!
Get us out of here before he gets out of the car!
You're finished, Switcher!
You may as well hang up your jockey strap!
Let me go! No, Mr. Richards! No!
-Be careful, you maniac! -I know!
This is for you, Rambo.
We got him!
-I want to get out. -Geronimo!
I don't understand it.
This never happened to Armand before. Never!
It must be you. You're so cold.
You're so unfeeling.
Where can I get a mannequin, too?
What are you thinking about?
Turned out pretty didn't it?
It was breathtaking.
...you inspire me.
I feel like I could do anything.
Windows are only the start.
I think we could design an entire city.
No one takes the time to build things that have character and dignity.
People need that.
We could give it to them.
I love you, Emmy.
I love you, too, Jonathan.
I better get into the window.
That peckerhead doubled back on me. I saw his motorcycle out front.
That dummy of his has got to be here!
This is the one!
Wait a minute.
This one kinda looks like her, too.
I've put my future in the hands of a vegetable.
Just get the mannequin. Get the mannequin.
-It's over there! -No, this is the door.
This is not the door!
This is the door.
Wait. Mr. Richards...
...did you ever notice how they all sort of look alike?
Look at that one.
Maybe this is her.
This is really interesting.
This is art.
-It's like theater. -I get it!
Good morning, starshine.
I sleep alone these days, too, but I am not about to advertise it.
Get my clothes?
Spent the night? You slept through the whole how-do-you-do.
What do you mean?
All the girl mannequins disappeared from the windows last night...
...film at 11:00. Yes, my dear...
...your favorite, she is gone.
That was great!
I'm sorry, but you know us special people...
...are destined for heartache.
You know what works best for me? Crying shamelessly.
Don't do anything drastic! Me, my!
Wait a minute.
Yes. My car cover, darling.
-Can I help you? -Roxie Shield.
-She's in conference-- -Thank you.
You can't go in there!
Jonathan! We were hoping you might drop in.
Can I get you something to drink?
Where is she, Roxie?
She's perfectly safe.
Jonathan, let's talk about your future here at Illustra.
I think it'll be wonderful...
...to have the team back together again.
-What'd you do with her? -Relax, it's just a mannequin.
How does $55,000 a year sound to you?
-You son of a bitch! -All right, $60,000.
I don't think he's of Illustra fiber.
Where is she?
-You'll never see her again! -Where you going?
We also have a very nice profit-sharing plan.
We have extremely incriminating photos...
...of you and that little....
Get up, Richards! Get him!
Sorry, gotta run.
Security alert! Man in leather jacket!
Come on! Get....
All units, code 2. Perpetrator on main floor.
Roger. Over and out.
Come on, Terminator. Duty calls.
Call the police!
Where did he go?
There he is!
-Get him! -You're finished, Switcher!
You've had it, Switcher!
Get me out of here!
Put me down, you idiot!
You've had it, Switcher! I'm gonna get you!
You're finished, little Switcher!
Way to go, buddy!
Two things I love to do:
that's fight and kiss boys. Come on!
Come and get me, Sister Maryella.
What's the matter, honey? Come on.
This is what being a man is all about, honey.
You can't come in here.
Mine's bigger than yours is.
Why can't we get that damn water turned off?
Jonathan, you saved me.
It's nothing, really.
He can see me and I'm still alive!
-Thank you. -What is it?
-You're gonna have to love me forever. -I always have, I always will.
-Get out of the way, doofus! -Move, damn it!
It's a miracle!
You little creep! Stop touching me!
Get away from me! Please don't touch me!
-Jesus, it's the heat! -Hollywood.
Now, this is Emmy.
Mama, put the coins on my eyes, 'cause I sure don't believe what I am seeing.
There he is.
Arrest that man. Who's she?
She's who I came for.
She's the dummy!
I said, "Arrest that man!"
Keep your hands off him!
Claire, thank goodness you're here. These people....
Shut up! B.J., you really screwed up.
What are you talking about?
When I fired this idiot the other day, I decided to replace him...
...with one of those camera surveillance systems.
I have Richards and this moron on videotape.
I was sure you were behind this. You greedy snake!
I want those two arrested for breaking and entering and grand theft.
I'll get you later for conspiracy.
You can add kidnapping to that, too.
-Kidnapping? Who? -Me!
Who are you?
She's the dummy!
This poor man is having a breakdown.
Get him out of here!
She's the dummy!
-She's the dummy! -Please, don't use force.
Mamal I want my mama!
Mrs. Timkin, those video cameras, did they pick up...
...everything last night?
I only saw what I needed to see.
Just where did you come from?
Roxie, you would never understand.
There must be some arrangement we can make?
Cram it, clown!
-Come on, now. -No, boys.
You know, I see executive potential here.
Roxie, you're fired! You'll never work in this town again!
How am I gonna pay my bills, my rent, my new watch, my car....