Voila! Finally, the Meet Joe Black
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Brad Pitt movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Meet Joe Black. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Please. Please.
Don't worry. Don't worry.
It's utter chaos around here.
And I'm terrified that
we're running out of time.
Am I trying to be too perfect?
- Oh, but I want it to be so exquisite.
- So do we.
- But we're trying to be too exquisite.
- Why not aim for the stars?
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- We do need some answers on the flowers.
- Ah, yes, freesia, freesia.
Everywhere freesia.
Daddy loves freesia.
Good morning. Good morning.
Oh. Hello. Hi.
- Lights?
- "Lights."
Not too bright and not too dark.
I'm looking for
a saffron glow,
sort of tea-dance ' s.
If food is the prose of a party,
then lights are its poetry.
It works. If food is the prose
of a party, lights are its poetry.
I like that. If music were the food of
love, play on. I'm going out of my mind.
Good morning, Mr. Parrish.
- What do you think of all this, Helen?
- It's gonna be beautiful.
And Allison says
the president may come.
- The president's got better things to do than come to my birthday party.
- Like what?
- Daddy? Do you have a minute?
- Good morning, Allison.
Not much more.
Big day in the big city.
- What's on your mind?
- Fireworks. Update:
- We are constructing the
number on the barge. - Mm-hmm.
Archers from the State College of New
Paltz will shoot flaming arrows at it.
When it catches fire, it will give us
the effect of a Viking funeral,
but with none of the morbidity.
The Hudson River Authority says that for
you, they'll make a special dispensation.
But, of course,
there will be an overtime bill...
for the Poughkeepsie
Fire Department.
So, what do you think?
Good? No good?
Allison, I trust you.
This is your thing.
But it's your birthday.
I hate arrows. They make me nervous.
- Good morning, Dad.
- Good morning, honey.
- Morning.
- Morning. You're "Honey." I'm "Allison."
Oh.
Dad, Drew called from the helicopter,
and they're still two minutes away.
- Drew's aboard?
- Mm-hmm.
He wanted to ride
back down with you.
Why don't you sit down, relax, and get
some food in that flat tummy of yours.
- Are you coming?
- No.
You've got patients to attend to.
I've got three hysterical chefs,
one of whom loves truffles,
the other one hates truffles,
and the third one doesn't
even know what truffles are.
- I hate parties.
- But, Daddy, calm down.
You're gonna love it.
I swear.
Isn't it enough to be on the Earth for
years without having to be reminded of it?
No.
Will you relax?
I know it's a big deal day.
- How'd you know that?
- Drew told me.
Does he tell you everything?
I hope so.
You like him, don't you?
Yep, I guess so.
- I don't want to interfere, but, uh...
- Then don't.
Well, here comes our boy now.
Shall we?
- Okay.
- Hello, beautiful.
Hi.
Good morning, Drew.
Thanks for coming up.
Well, big day. Wanted to line up
a few ducks before kickoff.
Any thoughts, last minute refinements,
variations, anything?
Thoughts, no.
I did hear a voice last night.
- A voice?
- In my sleep.
- What'd it say?
- "Yes."
- Yes to the deal?
- Maybe. Who knows?
You know how voices are.
Hmm? I thank you, Delia.
Okay, let's go.
Delia, your pen.
- Hi, Bill. How you doin'?
- Morning, Quince.
- I'm doin' great, and you?
- Oh, I'm great.
- This is it, "B-day."
- Huh? Sorry.
Bontecou day.
We're gonna close... with Big John.
Look at you, Bill.
You're all cool as a cat.
Over at Bontecou's, I'll bet
he's just shittin' in his pants.
Remember, everybody,
big meeting tonight at Daddy's.
Dinner. You, too, Drew.
We have lots of loose ends.
- Not my birthday again?
- You're only once, Dad.
Thank God.
Now let's get the day started.
Remember,
dinner in the city at Daddy's!
Mm-hmm. It's so ridiculous.
Do you love Drew?
No, don't do anything.
Just stay exactly where...
- Do you love Drew?
- He's not gonna get a better offer than that.
- You mean, like you loved Mom?
- Forget about me and Mom.
- Are you gonna marry him?
- Oh, come on.
I'm probably.
Listen, I'm crazy about the guy.
He's smart. He's aggressive.
He could carry Parrish Communications
into the st century and me along with it.
Mm-hmm. So, what's wrong with that?
That's for me.
I'm talking about you.
It's not what you say about Drew.
It's what you don't say.
Maybe you're not listening.
Oh, yes, I am.
Give him whatever he wants.
There's not an ounce of excitement,
not a... whisper of a thrill.
And this relationship has
all the passion of a pair of titmice.
I want you to get
swept away out there.
I want you to levitate.
I want you to...
sing with rapture
and dance like a dervish.
- Oh, that's all.
- Yeah. Be deliriously happy,
or at least
leave yourself open to be.
Okay.
"Be deliriously happy."
I shall, uh...
I shall do my utmost.
I know it's a cornball thing.
But love is passion,
obsession,
someone you can't live without.
I say, fall head over heels.
Find someone you can love like crazy
and who will love you the same way back.
How do you find him? Well, you forget
your head, and you listen to your heart.
And I'm not hearing any heart.
'Cause the truth is, honey, there's
no sense living your life without this.
To make the journey
and not fall deeply in love,
well, you haven't lived
a life at all.
But you have to try, 'cause
if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.
Bravo!
Oh, you're tough.
I'm sorry. Okay.
Give it to me again,
but the short version this time.
Okay. Stay open.
Who knows?
Lightning could strike.
Yeah?
Yeah.
What do you think?
Is it just the executive committee,
or are you guys gonna use me?
Quince, man, thanks for the offer,
but it's all set for just me and Bill.
- More people might...
- I know. I know, gum up the works.
"I want you to get swept away."
- Huh?
- I was just sayin' to Quince that we won't need him until...
- Did you hear something?
- Yeah, but I was just sayin' to Quince...
- No, no, no. Not you.
- What's the matter, Daddy?
- Nothing. I'm sorry.
- "I want you to levitate.
I want you to sing with rapture
and dance like a dervish."
- "Dance like a dervish"?
- Daddy, what is it?
Nothing, I'm just talking to myself.
You know me.
No, I've never known you
to talk to yourself.
Oh, well, can I give you a lift?
- No, I'm gonna catch a cab. Listen, are you okay?
- Yeah.
Got my garters on, my ears pricked...
ready for action.
Okay. Well...
Go get 'em, Pops.
You're damn right. Okay.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Oh, haven't heard
that one before.
I'm sorry.
I had to say it.
- Honey? Honey?
- Hi, George.
Honey, you have to go on.
Okay? There's a time to sow
and a time to reap.
You have to sow.
Sorry. Excuse me.
No, I liked him.
I don't like him anymore.
'Cause you're my honey.
Someone messes with you,
they mess with me.
That's it. I'm on a plane
in a heartbeat. You let me know.
Yep, when I get my phone in,
you're my first call. I promise.
Hit the books, get the degree. One day
we'll be hanging out a shingle together.
How's that?
Mmm? Okay.
You all right?
Yes.
You bet. Be strong.
I love you. Bye-bye.
- Morning.
- Good morning.
I was talkin' kind of loud there.
I'm sorry.
Oh, not at all.
It was fascinating.
Yeah, what was
fascinating about it?
Um... You and, uh, "honey"?
- It's my kid sister.
- Oh.
And she just broke up
with her boyfriend and was thinking...
about dropping out of law school.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- No, nothing to be sorry about.
- That's the way it is with men and women, isn't it?
- What's the way?
Nothing lasts.
Oh. Yeah, I agree.
Really? Why?
No, I'm interested.
I was just trying
to be agreeable.
Okay. All right. I was sharpshooting.
- Oh.
- No, just that "nothing lasts" stuff.
That was the problem with Honey's guy.
He didn't know what he wanted.
So, he's fooling around,
and she catches him at it.
You know, like one girlfriend
isn't enough for him.
- So, you're a one-girl guy.
- Yes, I am.
- That's right.
- Right.
Looking for her
right now, actually.
Mmm. Who knows?
You might be her.
No, don't laugh.
I just got into town.
I got the new job.
I'm trying to get
into this apartment.
Anyway, so you're a doctor.
Mmm. How'd you know?
'Cause everyone's
a doctor around here.
This apartment building... Everyone's
in green slippers, the green pajamas.
The guy I'm waiting for
to vacate...
- Doctor.
- He's a doctor.
What kind of doctor?
I'm a resident...
internal medicine.
So, if I needed a doctor,
you could be it.
I could be her. Yeah.
You could be... her.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I could.
- I'm-I'm working at the hospital, so...
- I see.
This is my lucky day.
I just get in the big, bad city,
not only do I find a doctor,
but a beautiful woman, as well.
Do you mind me saying that?
Oh... No, of course.
No, it's fine.
It's fine. It's just...
Listen,
could I buy you a cup of coffee?
- I have some patients coming in, so I should probably...
- Yeah, yeah.
- Get goin'.
- I gotta get to the apartment and get off to work.
- Yeah.
- But I'd still like to have another cup of coffee.
- Um...
- Would you let me do that?
- Well, yeah, okay.
- Deal.
Mmm.
- Good morning, Mr. Parrish.
- Morning, Jennifer.
So, board convenes tomorrow.
You'll recommend we close,
and it's a deal, right?
As close as a deal could be.
Olympic.
Yes.
Yes.
- "Yes" what?
- Yes is the answer to your question.
Ah.
I didn't ask any question.
I believe you did.
Who are you?
- Goddamn it. What's going on here?
- I think you know.
- I don't.
- Try.
"'Cause if you haven't tried,
you haven't lived."
What are you talking about?
What you were talking about.
Who is this guy?
- Tell me who you are.
- Are you giving me orders?
- No. I'm sorry, I...
- No, you're not.
You're trying
to handle the situation.
But this is the one situation
you knew you never could handle.
It's enough...
now.
Huh?
Talk to me, please.
There's gonna be
plenty of time for that.
What do you mean?
I think you know, Bill.
It's kind of a pro bono job.
- "Pro bono"?
- Yeah.
- Meaning, doing good?
- That's me.
Gonna be doing good
all your life?
- I know what you're saying. It doesn't
pay so well, but, I like it. - Mm-hmm.
Eventually it'll depend
on the woman I marry, I think.
Maybe she'll want lots of kids,
a bigger house, better car, uh...
College doesn't come cheap.
You know? I don't know.
Wow. Give up what you want
for the woman you marry.
Hmm.
Yeah, you know what?
I would.
- Yeah?
- Gladly.
'Cause you make your choices,
you know?
Say, you and I, if we were married,
I would... No, for an example, okay?
If you and I were married,
I would want to give you what you need.
That's all. I'm talking about taking
care of each other the best you can.
What's wrong with taking care
of a woman? She takes care of you.
You'll have a hard time finding
a woman like that these days.
- Shoot, you think so?
- Mm-hmm.
I don't know.
Lightning could strike.
I've gotta go.
- Yeah. Listen, did I say something wrong? No?
- No.
- No. No. It was...
- Sure?
It was so right, it scares me.
That's all.
Just...
You know, I was thinking,
I don't want you to be my doctor.
I don't want you to...
examine me and...
Why?
Because I like you so much.
And I... I don't want
to examine you.
You don't? Why not?
Because I like you so much.
Oh, boy. Okay.
Now I gotta go, so...
- Yep, understood.
- All right. All right.
Fair enough. See ya.
- Bye. Bye.
- Bye-bye.
Music.
I know how you love music, Daddy. And
I want to have music that pleases you,
but doesn't put a thousand
other people to sleep.
- I've agonized over it and finally settled on Sidney Brown.
- Good.
- Twenty-four men... very eclectic.
- Mm-hmm.
Plus, I'm feathering in
a Latin sextet on their breaks.
You haven't heard a word
I've said, have you?
- What, honey? Sorry.
- Daddy.
Yes.
Daddy?
Mr. Parrish?
- Yes?
- Dinner's served.
- Yeah.
- Never mind.
Leave it to me.
Did you miss me, Bill?
Chow time, you guys.
What are you looking
so provoked about?
Did you miss me?
It's a normal question.
I missed you.
But what do I get back?
"Not an ounce of excitement.
"Not a whisper of a thrill.
This relationship has
all the passion of a pair of titmice."
I'm waiting outside
the front door.
Did you speak to the governor?
- He's coming.
- And his wife?
Yeah, unfortunately.
I sat between them at the Bronx Zoo
benefit. It was better than Seconal.
I'm waiting
outside the front door, Bill.
Won't someone let me in?
Lillian?
- Is there somebody at the front door?
- I didn't hear a ring, sir.
Have a look,
would you, please?
What about the mayor?
- He said he's going to be there with bells on.
- Good.
- Maybe they'll drown him out.
- Please don't be negative, Drew.
- I'm sorry.
- We have an acceptance list that would do the White House proud:
The chairman of the F.C.C.,
the Secretary General of the U.N.,
- Wow.
- Nine senators,
I don't know how many congressmen
and at least of the Fortune .
- Any jocks? Hmm?
- No.
No -game-winner, Masters champion,
someone I can talk to?
You were right, Mr. Parrish.
There was a gentleman at the door.
He's waiting for you
in the foyer.
- Show him into the library. Tell him I'll be right there.
- Yes, sir.
I've arranged favors,
silver charm bracelets for the women,
- Mmm.
- And platinum key chains for the men,
all engraved "W.P."
But now I'm thinking of scrubbing them.
They seem so ordinary.
Are they ordinary?
Do they seem that way
to you, Daddy?
I don't know.
I don't know. I, uh...
Let me see.
I don't think they're ordinary.
I think they're great.
I love key chains.
Hello?
Anyone here?
- I said, is anyone here?
- Quiet down.
- Where are you?
- I'm here.
What is this, a joke, right?
Some kind of elaborate
practical joke?
At my th reunion,
we delivered a casket...
to the class president's
hotel room and, uh...
Quiet.
Where are you going, Bill?
I, uh...
The great Bill Parrish
at a loss for words?
The man from whose lips fall "rapture"
and "passion" and "obsession"?
All those admonitions
about being "deliriously happy,
that there is no sense
living your life without."
All the sparks and energy
you give off,
the rosy advice you dispense
in round, pear-shaped tones.
What the hell is this?
Who are you?
Just think of millenniums
multiplied by eons...
compounded by time without end.
I've been around that long.
But it's only recently that your affairs
here have piqued my interest.
Call it boredom.
The natural curiosity of me,
the most lasting...
and significant element
in existence, has come to see you.
About what?
I want to have a look around
before I take you.
Take me where?
It requires competence,
wisdom and experience.
All those things they say
about you in testimonials.
And you're the one.
- The one to do what?
- Show me around,
be my guide.
And in return, you get...
I get what?
Time:
Minutes, days, weeks.
Let's not get encumbered by detail.
What matters is
that I stay interested.
Yes.
"Yes" what?
Yes is the answer
to your question.
- What question?
- Oh, Bill.
Come on. The question.
The question you've been asking yourself
with increased regularity,
at odd moments, panting through
the extra game of handball,
when you ran for the plane in Delhi,
when you sat up in bed last night and
hit the floor in the office this morning.
The question that is in
the back of your throat,
choking the blood
to your brain,
ringing in your ears over and over
as you put it to yourself.
- "The question."
- Yes, Bill.
"The question."
The question.
Am I going to die?
Yes.
Am I dreaming this?
Are you a dream?
I'm not a dream.
You're coming to take me?
What is that?
And who the hell are you?
You are...
Yes?
Who am I?
Death.
You're Death?
Yes.
- Death.
- That's me.
You're not Death.
You're just a kid in a suit.
The suit came with
the body I took.
Let me ask your opinion.
Do I blend in?
You want me to be your guide?
You fill the bill, Bill.
- I do?
- Mmm.
Will you be staying long?
We should hope
quite a while.
And then?
It's over.
It's over.
Mr. Parrish?
Will the gentleman be staying
for dinner, sir?
Yes.
Thank you.
This is crazy.
You're not gonna
eat dinner with us.
No, I am eating dinner
with you... and your family.
And that is what
we're doing.
It's not open
for discussion, nothing is.
Don't you understand?
Yeah.
Good.
Now lead the way.
Bill,
lead the way.
- Excuse me, may I say something?
- Yes, of course.
Well, it just occurred
to me, if, uh...
Speak up, please.
When I introduce you,
if I say who you are,
I don't think anyone
will stay for dinner.
Then don't.
Here's another possibility.
It's a little last minute,
but tell me what you think.
Kaleidoscopes.
Little gold kaleidoscopes.
Some German company went kerplunk, and
Tiffany's picked all these things up,
and they're perfect
party favors.
Okay, they're not personalized or
anything. They're just winter scenes...
dachshunds, snowflakes.
Hi there.
Hello.
Sorry to have...
stepped away for so long.
This is a friend of mine
I asked to drop by.
We got to talking
and stuff, and, uh...
He's gonna join us for dinner.
- Great.
- How nice to meet you.
And wouldn't it be nicer
if my father would introduce you?
How nice to meet you.
Yeah, I'm sorry. This is my daughter,
Allison, and her husband, Quince,
and Drew, my number one,
works with me.
Daddy, does your friend
have a name?
- A name?
- Something he goes by?
Oh, yeah, excuse me.
This is, uh...
This is, um...
- Daddy, come on. A name.
- Bill, the suspense is killing me.
I'm sorry. It's, uh...
It's gone right out of my head. Um...
I'm sorry.
This is... Joe.
- Joe. I love that name.
- Just plain Joe.
Me too. Hey, buddy.
- Is there any more to it?
- What do you mean?
Like "Smith" or "Jones" or...
- Black.
- Oh, at last.
- Nice to meet you, Mr. Black.
- Hey, hey, Joe Black.
Won lost for
the Brooklyn Dodgers, .
I'm king of my rotisserie league.
- Are you?
- Yeah, he is.
Shall we sit down?
Right there.
Have we met?
- He's from out of town.
- How long you here for, Joe?
As long as it takes.
- You and Bill, you old friends?
- No.
No, thank you.
I have one, thank you.
- I get the feeling you've done some business before.
- I got it.
Have you done
some business before?
We have an arrangement now.
What side of the industry
did you say you were on?
I didn't say.
Joe sounds like a ringer, Bill.
I have a feeling you guys got
the broad strokes already.
You need any help
with the details?
I'm sorry, business at dinner.
- Forgive me for being so rude.
- Certainly.
Hi, everybody.
I'm sorry I'm late.
- I had to have dinner with my department chief.
- You ate?
I'm here, aren't I?
I wouldn't miss a loose ends meeting.
What's on the table for discussion?
Party favors, flowers...
- Hi, Dad.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Hi, Drew.
What are you doing here?
You know each other?
We've met.
This morning, the Corinth Coffee Shop.
He was, uh...
He was looking for a doctor.
Well, I guess he's found one.
Joe, you do get around.
- That's your name?
- And isn't it a lovely one?
So sturdy, so straight. Stop it.
Incidentally, Joe,
where are you staying?
- Here.
- You're staying here?
- In this house?
- Yes, in this house.
Great. Great. Great.
Will that hold you, Joe?
Incidentally, Joe what?
Black.
This is fun.
Yes. Yes, Quince, it is.
So, what are you doing here, Joe?
Cat got your tongue?
You weren't so silent this morning.
This morning, yes.
I wasn't quite myself.
Well, it's a shame whoever
you were couldn't be here tonight.
Cut it out, Susan.
We've gotta talk.
Busy day tomorrow, everybody.
Joe, let's go.
Yes.
That stuff between
you and Susan threw me.
Threw you? Where?
Shook me up.
I mean, how is it that
you happened to meet my daughter?
I didn't meet her.
The young man I took met her.
That is, the fellow she encountered
in the coffee shop this morning.
What happened to him?
I needed a body, Bill.
So,
come in.
Uh, bathroom, tub, towels, sauna,
chairs, lamps, bed.
Well, if there
is anything else,
- don't hesitate.
- I won't.
- I can try.
- Will she be available next week?
I don't know.
Yes, sir?
Hello. I'm Joe Black.
It's nice meeting you.
Yes, of course,
Mr. Black, sir.
A pleasure.
Eh...
What is that?
- You mean this, sir?
- Yes.
It's, uh, Laura Scudder's
peanut butter, sir.
You like it?
Well, I would say,
in my opinion,
it's right up there
with Jif and Skippy.
Could I offer you
a taste, sir?
- Yes.
- All right.
Do you fancy it, sir?
More?
Right.
Mmm.
Mmm.
You're a peanut butter man
now, eh, sir?
Yes, I believe I am.
I thoroughly enjoy
this peanut butter.
And I thoroughly enjoyed
meeting you all.
- I'll be moseying on.
- Right, sir.
What are you doing here?
I'm lost.
I can't seem
to escape you today.
- I'm sorry.
- Yeah.
Would you hand me one of those?
You must have something
very... big going on with my father.
- Big?
- Yeah.
You appear at his side
out of the blue,
stay at his house,
have dinner with his family.
That's, uh, practically a first.
You're in the red-hot center
of big business,
and I thought you were
just a regular Joe.
- I am Joe.
- Not the one that I met this morning.
Hitting on me in as nice a way
as I've been hit on in a long time.
The second that you found out
I was my father's daughter, you, uh...
Well, you acted like a stranger.
That is not my intention.
What are your intentions?
Huh? I mean, just to, uh,
make little dramas in coffee shops,
turn a woman's head?
I don't mind admitting
that my-my head was turned.
I- I liked it.
But, well, ten hours later,
I feel like a fool.
I just don't get it.
I don't.
You, my father,
here in this house. It's, uh...
It's upsetting me, and I...
What happened to that sweet guy
from the coffee shop?
Who are you, anyway?
And... what are you eating?
Peanut butter.
Hmm.
But it's gone now.
Wh... No. Please.
- You act like you've never had peanut butter before.
- I haven't.
- What kind of childhood did you have?
- Do you love Drew?
Excuse me?
When you put your mouth to his,
it seemed a frequent thing.
Drew is none of your business,
and neither is where I put my mouth.
I'm sorry.
Do you live here?
No, Joe, I'm swimming here
and now I'm going home.
Yes, I think what
I'm trying to say is,
I would like it
if we were friends.
I've got plenty of friends.
I don't have any.
Well, I can see why.
I didn't mean
to offend you at dinner.
I'm sometimes...
not quite at home around people.
I get busy doing,
uh, what it is I do.
And I don't seem
to have developed...
Yes?
I have a certain function to perform,
and it seems to take up most of my time.
But sometimes I... speculate...
that I haven't left room for...
anything else.
Hmm.
I'm sorry to say
I know what you mean.
Well, um...
Good night, Joe.
Yes.
Good night to you, Susan.
- Morning, Madeline.
- Oh, good morning, Mr. Parrish.
- Everything okay?
- Yes, sir.
Good.
Morning.
Good morning, Bill.
What's on the docket
for today?
- Docket?
- Hmm, yes. What shall we do?
- Well, I have to go to work, and...
- Splendid. I'll join you.
Oh.
Would you like to ride or walk?
Walk. I wish to see the world.
This is crazy. This is
the left field thing of all time.
I, uh... I don't know if
I can get through this.
- What do I do? What do I tell my family?
- You'll get through this, Bill.
As far as your family's concerned,
uh, I wouldn't say anything.
You'll ruin the great start
we had last night.
Hmm. It felt as if
I was being treated like a person.
Yes, Joe this, Joe that.
A nice smile.
Quince passed me the rolls.
No passion or rapture or any of these
mighty things you're so intent on imparting.
But I am certain,
should you say who I am,
our adventure would end abruptly.
Mm-hmm.
And I did so enjoy your family.
What about my family?
This adventure involves only me, right?
What do you mean?
I'll tell you what.
You promise this undertaking of yours...
involves only me and, uh...
And what?
- I won't tell anyone who you are.
- Sounds fair enough.
Good. Is it a deal?
- A deal?
- Yeah.
You give your word;
I give mine that we'll do what we say.
- Mm-hmm. - It is a truth
exchanged between two people.
- Bill?
- What?
You have a deal. Ow!
That's great.
Great.
You know, I got to thinking.
With you here and seemingly occupied,
how's your work going,
I mean, elsewhere?
While you were shaving this morning,
you weren't just shaving.
- What do you mean?
- You were hatching ideas,
making plans,
arriving at decisions, right?
Yeah, I guess so.
So you understand the concept. While
part of you is busy doing one thing,
another part of you is doing another, perhaps
even attending to the problems of your work.
- Correct?
- Of course.
So you understand the idea.
Congratulations, Bill.
Now multiply that by infinity,
take that to the depths of forever,
and you still will barely have
a glimpse of what I'm talking about.
- Joe?
- Yes, Bill?
How about giving
a guy a break?
Make an exception?
- Well, there's one to every rule.
- Not this.
And call my family. I'd like them
to have dinner with me tonight.
Didn't the family
get together last night?
- Jennifer.
- Of course, Mr. Parrish, right away.
- Uh, perhaps you'd like to wait in my office.
- No.
What I'm trying to say is this is
a board meeting and you're not a member.
I'm sure you'll find a way
to make it all right.
Nice to meet you.
Morning.
Good morning.
Thank you. Eddie.
Uh, this is Joe Black.
- He's a personal associate of mine, and, uh...
- Hello, Quince.
- Hey.
- He'll be joining us this morning.
I know this is unusual,
and my apologies, and, uh...
- Drew, carry on.
- It's nice to see you.
Didn't expect you, but, uh...
certainly you can't get
enough of a good thing.
- Thank you.
- Joe, would you like to sit there?
Okay.
Uh, the Board of Parrish Communications
is hereby called to order.
Our sole order of...
Our s...
Our sole order
of business today is a, uh...
is an acceptance of
John Bontecou's generous offer.
- And I think Bill...
- Do you have any more of these delicious cookies?
The jelly ones?
Mmm, and a cup of tea.
With milk, I think.
I'd like to try it English style. Yes.
A cup of tea with milk, please.
Is there anything else,
Mr. Black?
- How about some water?
- Why, yes, thank you.
- Hot or cold?
- Cold.
- And a glass?
- Mmm.
Uh, to review. We're really crossing
the T's and dotting the I's here.
Uh, Bill had a great and conclusive
meeting yesterday with John Bontecou,
and all that remains for us
is to put it to a vote.
Um, thank you. Drew, um...
Yeah.
I did enjoy, or rather
I was interested...
in meeting John Bontecou yesterday,
and, um...
Impressive, I suppose.
But, uh...
But...
It did get me to thinking.
See, I started in this business
because this is what I wanted to do.
I knew I wasn't gonna write
the great American novel.
But I also knew there was more to life
than buying something for a dollar...
and selling it for two.
I'd hoped to create something,
something which could be...
held to the highest standards.
And what I realized was I...
I wanted to give
the news to the world.
And I wanted
to give it unvarnished.
The more we all know about each other,
the greater the chance we will survive.
Sure, I want to make a profit.
You can't exist without one, but, uh...
John Bontecou is all profit.
If we give him license to absorb
Parrish Communications...
and he has his eye
on a few others after us...
in order to reach the world,
you will have to go
through John Bontecou.
And not only will you have
to pay him to do this,
far more important,
you'll have to agree with him.
Reporting the news is
a privilege and a responsibility.
And it is not exploitable.
Parrish Communications
has earned this privilege.
John Bontecou
wants to buy it.
As your chairman,
I urge you to agree.
This company is not for sale.
It sounds like you're not
leaving much room for discussion.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I know. I'm sorry, I...
Looks like I'm reversing my field.
That's your privilege, Bill.
But given our needs,
given the absolute necessity
for growth, given the future,
the truth is, joining John Bontecou is
every bit as certain as death and taxes.
- Death and taxes?
- Yes.
- Death and taxes?
- Yes.
- What an odd pairing.
- It's just a saying, Mr. Black.
- Mmm. By whom?
- Doesn't matter.
Then why'd you bring it up?
You're not familiar
with the phrase, "In this world,
nothing is certain
but death and taxes"?
- Well, I am now.
- Glad I could be of some help.
I keep regular office hours if there's
any further information you might need...
on sayings, common phrases,
manners of speaking.
My door's wide open. The tea
I can provide, perhaps even the milk.
Low fat.
Yeah, okay, well, uh...
I think we've accomplished everything we're
going to this morning. Shall we adjourn?
- But the matter is still on the table, Bill.
- Joe?
Yes.
Thank you for
the delicious cookies.
Mmm.
Who is that guy?
So...
what's the deal here?
You gonna be breathing down my neck
right till the very end?
- I don't understand.
- I'd like to be alone for a while.
- Are you sad, Bill?
- Yes, I am.
Why don't you take a walk or something,
get some air?
I know I'll be seeing you.
Of course.
Good. Now I'd like to be alone.
This will hold you for a while.
- You know about money, don't you?
- It can't buy happiness?
Yeah. Uh, Jennifer?
- Give Mr. Black a map of the city, would you?
- It's okay, Bill.
I can manage.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- I need a medical record
number for labs. - Uh-huh.
And, uh, will you try calling
her husband? The number's on top.
Also, can you page me
when C.T.'s ready?
- Oh, sure.
- Thanks, sweetie.
How nice you look.
Is that your uniform?
What are you doing here?
- Are you ill?
- Oh, goodness, no.
- Then why are you here, Joe?
- I'm here to see you.
Joe, I don't... I don't
have time to see you right now.
I'm, um, about to start
making rounds,
and I'm examining back-to-back
patients until dinner, and, uh...
Very well. I'll watch.
- Watch me do what? - Make rounds
and examine back-to-back patients.
Joe, that's impossible.
- I'm a doctor.
- And I'll be a visitor.
- Patients have visitors, not doctors.
- I don't mind.
Miss? Miss?
- Doctor.
- Oh, um, just one second. I'll be right there.
Please. My mama
is sicker than him.
Okay.
- Obeah.
- No, Mama.
Obeah, man.
- I goin' die.
- Mama, stop it. It's just a man.
- What's Obeah?
- Bad spirit. She just all fever.
- She don't mean nothing. Please help us.
- Of course.
No Obeah, sister.
Everything gonna be all right.
- Have you registered?
- No.
Okay.
- You gonna be all right?
- Go with the doctor lady. Mama gonna be fine now.
Don't leave. Don't leave me.
- She'll be right back, okay?
- Mama.
- Obeah.
- Rahtid.
Obeah evil.
I not evil, woman.
And what you is then?
I from that next place.
You waitin' here to take us?
Like you is
the bus driver to there?
No, man, I on 'oliday.
Some spot you pick.
Oh. Mmm.
The pain.
Pain is bad, bad.
I don't have nothin' to do
with these things, you know.
- Make it go away.
- Doctor lady make it all right.
Uh-uh. Not this pain.
This pain go
through and through me.
- Make it go away.
- I can't, sister.
You can, mister.
Take me to that next place.
- It's not your time now.
- Make it time.
You can't fool with
the way things got to be.
Please?
Where she was born.
Close your eyes.
Go on, sister.
Soon.
You... You can go with her.
I'll be right there.
Come now, Mama.
- She's in a great deal of pain.
- Yes.
- Have you spent much time in the islands?
- Some.
I realize now
my being here,
uh, is not quite appropriate.
Oh, no, please...
Please don't apologize.
- Yes?
- Yeah.
I'm glad that you came.
Thank you, Susan.
I'm very happy to be here.
Joe, I'm with Drew.
Not now.
I have to go.
- I'm sorry to say.
- Be sorry for nothing.
Right.
- Thanks, Joe.
- Good-bye, Susan.
- Good?
- Mmm.
- Yes, what is it?
- Cold lamb sandwich with cilantro.
A little Coleman's mustard.
It's, uh, splendid.
Glad you like it.
My wife turned me on
to cold lamb sandwiches.
- Joan... was my wife.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Cold lamb sandwiches.
Not as chewy as roast beef,
not as boring as chicken.
She knew stuff like that.
Everything reminds me of her.
There isn't a day goes by
that I don't think about her.
One day she didn't feel well.
The next day she was gone.
So what are you gonna do?
Yeah.
I guess you've heard all this
a trillion times before, huh?
- More.
- Why didn't you stop me?
I don't know.
What was it like
when you first met?
I thought you'd heard it
a trillion times before.
This part I'm interested in.
Well, she had on
this little blue suit...
with a little white collar
that had a little...
red piping on it.
Yeah?
Hi.
- Am I interrupting?
- Yes.
- No.
- Just kidding?
Sit down, Drew.
Uh, before I do, I was hoping
we might be alone, Bill.
Well, Joe and I have
no secrets from each other.
How nice for you both.
Pardon my candor, but I was confounded
by your decision this morning.
- Why?
- I was hired.
You told me to help bring Parrish
Communications into the st century.
- This merger is the vehicle. In my estimation...
- Perhaps a merger is a way...
to bring Bill's company into
the st century, and perhaps it isn't.
And perhaps cheating on your French
philosophers exam at the Groton School...
was an expedient way to get
your diploma, and perhaps it wasn't.
Be that as it may, Drew, a question
can often be argued both ways.
Joe, cut it out.
You too, Drew.
- I thought this was practically a done deal.
- Well, now it's undone, okay?
Forget Bontecou.
Scrub him.
I'm tired of his fancy name
and his fancy offer.
I'm not going for it.
Okay.
Bill, why at this juncture...
are you letting yourself be
so concerned by business matters?
'Cause I don't want anybody
buying up my life's work!
Turning it into something
it wasn't meant to be.
A man wants to leave something behind. He
wants it left behind the way he made it.
He wants it to be run
the way he ran it,
with a sense of honor,
of dedication, of truth.
Easy, Bill. You'll give
yourself a heart attack...
and ruin my vacation.
Now listen.
I read you all the way
on the Bontecou thing,
and I know where you're coming from,
and I am with you percent.
Well, thank you, Quince.
But I just gotta tell you,
if mergers are in the wind,
I've developed some great prospects.
And I want to come and talk to you
about... about 'em next week.
- Next week?
- Yeah.
Or the week after.
- No good?
- No. Why, anything's possible.
- It's up to Joe.
- Joe.
You just don't know
how glad I am you're aboard,
because anybody who can take
some of the weight off the old man,
I am... I'm in his corner.
- That's very gracious of you, Quince.
- Ah, it's no problem.
Well, I'll leave you two alone,
because I can, uh...
I can tell, you know...
you got something in the fire.
Now, look,
I know you're down.
But you know, when you're down,
there's no place to go but up.
Up. Thanks, Quince.
Forget about Bontecou.
I got a couple other
merger possibilities up my sleeve,
and I'm pitching 'em
to the old man.
- Were you?
- Yeah.
- Hey, listen.
- Mm-hmm.
We're gonna go in together.
I'll clue you in.
The timing has gotta be right,
because the old man
says it's up to Joe.
- He said it's up to Joe?
- Mm-hmm.
- Those were his words?
- Yeah.
- It's up to Joe, huh?
- Yeah.
- That's what he said?
- That's what he... That's what he said.
That's very interesting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I thought so too.
I want to thank you all for coming.
Uh, my family, um,
Allison and Quince,
Susan and the other members.
And, uh...
So glad when we can get together.
I mean, I know
you all have busy lives.
- Look who's talking.
- Yeah. Speak for yourself.
Yeah.
I remember when
you were little girls, and, uh...
I love little girls.
And uh, now you're all grown up,
and I, um...
I had some words prepared,
but, uh,
I've forgotten them.
Um... Wait a minute, uh...
- There's so much I wanted to say, uh...
- Daddy?
- You could sit down if you want to.
- Yeah.
So many words I wanted to...
So much I wanted to say,
but, uh...
I can't, and so, uh...
Yeah, I better sit down.
Carry on, everybody, please.
Oh, one other thing.
Um, why don't we all...
have dinner again
tomorrow night, okay?
- Dinner again?
- Yeah.
You haven't had
enough of us yet, Dad?
Mmm...
mmm...
no.
Come here.
- We'll be here.
- You bet we'll be here.
Bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed.
Joe.
Oh, no.
I would prefer
some peanut butter.
- How would you like that, sir? On some kind of toast?
- Toast.
- No, just the butter.
- Right away, sir.
Why do you like
peanut butter so much?
I don't know.
Hmm. I adore things like that.
Food I can't do without.
Don't you?
Yes.
- It comforts you, doesn't it?
- Yes, I find that it does.
- Mind if I throw up?
- Drew.
Please.
I'm very concerned about the woman
you attended to today.
- I am too.
- Has her pain abated?
We're doing what we can
for her, but, uh,
it's not looking very good.
- I'm sorry to hear that.
- Yeah.
Who are we talking about?
But I know she's grateful
for the care you're giving her.
Is this a state secret?
- No, we're talking about a
patient of mine, 'cause... - Uh-huh.
Joe stopped by
the hospital today.
He did?
That's more than we get to do.
Maybe next time you go to the hospital,
you'll take us along with you.
- Perhaps you could remind me.
- Well, I'll make a note of it.
- Anything else I can do for you?
- I wanna come along too.
- See Susie strut her stuff.
- You're on, Quincie.
Destination, hospital.
Joe, you can be the tour guide, okay?
Susan's a wonderful doctor.
I'm sure she is.
- Bill?
- Yeah?
I have to go.
It's been a hell of a day.
- I need a few minutes to sort everything out.
- See you tomorrow.
Joe?
Yes, Bill?
Um...
- Why'd you go to the hospital?
- I don't know.
- You just curious?
- I guess.
About Susan?
- I wouldn't put it that way.
- How would you put it?
- You tell me, Bill.
- No, how about you telling me?
I ask a simple question;
I expect a straight answer.
That's what I'm used to. Anybody
who doesn't give it to me, I fire.
Are you going
to fire me, Bill?
Drew?
So, uh, I'll see you
tomorrow night?
You include me out.
I've had enough of the convocations.
You don't mean that.
You don't want to disappoint Dad.
Daddy will do fine. Besides,
he's got Joe. And it seems you do too.
- You're out of line.
- Well, that may be, but I don't like the ubiquitous creep.
I don't like the way he looks at you.
I don't like the way he talks to you.
And vice versa.
I'm sorry.
'Cause I like the way
he looks and talks to me.
And vice versa.
Okay?
Not okay.
Thought we had
a good thing going here.
I thought
it was a good thing.
Well, that just
goes to show you never know.
Night.
Good night.
How long have you
been standing there?
I don't like the way
he spoke to you.
But I feel better now
because of the way you spoke back.
Tell me about yourself, Joe.
I mean, who are you?
What are you doing here
with my father?
You're not going to tell me?
You're married, aren't you?
Why?
Because men who never say
anything about themselves, they're...
they're always married.
- So you're married?
- No, I'm not.
But you...
you have a girlfriend.
No.
- Gay?
- No.
So, tell me, Joe...
How come a man
as attractive, intelligent,
well-spoken...
diffident in the most
seductive way, and yet...
powerful...
is all alone in this world?
I'm sorry.
I'm s... I didn't...
mean to pry, and, uh,
you obviously don't
want to tell me,
so we'll just...
We'll just leave it a mystery.
- That is the way you want it, isn't it?
- Yes, thank you.
Where are you going?
To bed.
- To bed?
- Yes.
I'm tired.
- Good night, Daddy.
- Good night. Sleep well.
- Okay. See you tomorrow.
- Good night. See you.
- Good night, Susie. Get some sleep.
- Good night.
- Yeah.
- See you tomorrow.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- That was wonderful.
- Mmm.
- It's good to get together.
- Mm-hmm.
Do you mind if I raise
a little caution flag?
Raise away.
What is the nature
of your interest in Joe?
Well...
Remember how you told me
about lightning striking?
Mm-hmm.
The nature of it's
in there somewhere.
Yeah. Well, I won't say you're
on the wrong track, but, uh...
Then what will you say?
I don't think this is the lightning
you're looking for.
I mean, Drew is a good man. I know I didn't
seem to be completely in his corner before,
but, uh, I've come
to appreciate that, um...
Now we love Drew?
And Joe doesn't measure up?
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
When you say "nothing" that way,
it is not nothing.
- Then what is it?
- It's something.
Okay. Good night.
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Yeah. Good night.
I know you're all as uncomfortable
as I am to be meeting like this.
But I got a call last night
from John Bontecou.
Not only is he still interested,
he's sweetening his offer.
Although it pains me
to say it, in my opinion,
Bill Parrish dealt with us
preemptively...
in dismissing any deal
with Bontecou.
Therefore, I'm sorry to say that if we're
to examine this new offer responsibly,
as the Board of Directors
of Parrish Communications,
we must do so without its chairman.
There's one additional element.
Bontecou is so anxious to get us,
he said he'd take Parrish Communications
with Bill Parrish or without.
In this crisis, and be assured...
this is a crisis,
it's not pleasant
to say the following.
But I would be remiss
if I did not.
When we present Bill
with the improved Bontecou offer,
and if he still refuses
to let us consider it,
once more makes an adamant or emotional
rejection, we will have no choice but to...
You're taking this
too far, Drew.
Am I not obligated to?
See if Quince is here.
How did all this come about?
Crisis, Bill Parrish.
Crisis, his company. Crisis for us.
It came about with the arrival
on the scene of Mr. Joe Black.
Mr. Joe who?
Joe Black.
He attends our board meetings.
He sleeps at Bill's house.
He resides in his office.
He never leaves his side,
and, in my opinion,
is always in his ear,
telling Bill what to do.
And Bill is listening.
Who is Joe Black?
What... What is his relationship
to Bill Parrish,
and most important, what is behind
his influence on our chairman?
He's had advisors before.
Nobody tells Bill what to do.
- Thanks for coming, Quince.
- Sure. Hi, Ed.
Hi, folks.
I didn't know everybody
was going to be here.
Nice surprise.
What's with the new digs?
Drew's idea of cloak and dagger.
This is a secret meeting, Quince.
I hope you'll
respect its nature.
Have a seat, Quince.
Now, what we're trying
to do here is to, uh...
to gather our thoughts in light of
Bill's rejection of Bontecou's offer...
and to make an appropriate
presentation to him...
as to how we think
the company might proceed.
Won't you share with our board
the information you gave me last night?
Well, uh, I'm hap...
I'm happy to tell you I got good news.
As I was, uh,
as I was telling Drew,
uh, I've been making a little hay
while the Bontecou sun was shining.
Two, possibly three, new and boiling
hot prospects for merger.
Mm-hmm. And how did Bill react
to the leads you've developed?
- He was interested.
- Yeah, but he was concerned about the timing?
- Timing?
- Yeah, he was concerned about the timing?
Yes. He says it's up to Joe.
It's up to Joe.
- Dum-da-dum
- What's this?
- Um, Annie made them.
- Who's Annie?
Thank you, Lillian.
From La Rosette?
She's only the most famous
pastry chef in America.
Um, this is orange,
made with real Seville oranges.
- Oh. - And, uh, that's lemon
on a mille-feuille crust.
I don't like cake.
It's for the party, Dad.
Ah. The goddamn party.
The goddamn party. Mm-hmm.
- Did you hear that?
- I'm sorry.
The goddamn party. Oh.
- Come on, I...
- Here, let's try this one...
right over here.
Mmm.
This, this is terrific.
It has, um,
has vodka in it, Bill.
A little vodka, right?
Has, um, that fruity vodka,
that flavored stuff, right?
Bill, put your lips around this.
It's just out of this world.
I'm sorry, honey.
You know, I'm no good at this.
Why don't you choose
whichever cake you'd like?
- Hmm?
- I knew you were gonna say that.
- What?
- I mean you just don't care.
Oh, why am I doing this?
I should have my head examined again.
Oh, my God. I am trying to throw
the party of the century...
for my father in two days.
- And you just don't give a shit.
- He gives a shit.
- He doesn't give a shit!
- He does.
- Allison.
- He does give a shit. Don't you, Bill?
Come on. Come on.
- Come on. Smile.
- I'm sorry.
But what should we tell Annie?
Bum-bum-bum
This one. Mmm.
He gives a shit!
Fantastic.
Thank you.
Um, Mr. Black,
would you care for a piece?
Yes, I'd love one.
Have you had a chance to, uh,
look at my father's rare books?
He has Jefferson's
parliamentary manual, and, uh,
this first edition
of Bleak House.
I love your smell.
Well, I like
the way you smell too.
My mom always used to say that
you could set your heart by that clock.
Could you?
I never tried.
Till now.
- Joe?
- Hmm?
May I kiss you?
Why, yes, you can.
Mmm.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
- Joe?
- Mmm.
I don't know who you are.
- I'm Joe.
- Mm-hmm.
And, uh, you're Susan.
Mmm.
And... I have this...
weak feeling in my knees.
- And is your heart beating strangely?
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
- Faster.
The taste of your lips
and the touch of your tongue...
that was wonderful.
Mmm.
I should, um...
I should go home.
Mmm.
Shouldn't I?
Yeah.
- Good night, Dad.
- Good night.
Hello, Bill.
Hello.
Would you like to join me
and Allison and Quince for a nightcap?
No. Not right now.
Okay.
Then I'll say good night.
Good night, Bill.
- Morning, Quince.
- Top of the morning, B.P.
- Hello, Quince.
- Hey!
- Hello, Jennifer.
- Good morning, Mr. Parrish.
- The board is waiting.
- What?
- The board?
- Didn't you call a board meeting?
No.
- Good morning.
- Morning, Bill.
Did you want to have a cup of coffee
or something, Bill?
I don't think so. Do you?
To get to the point, we've received
new information from John Bontecou...
concerning his desires for
this company to merge with his.
And we wanted to set
the details before you.
- Is that it?
- Bontecou wants a quick response, and...
The answer is no.
Quick enough for you?
- Don't you want to hear the details?
- I'm not interested.
I'm not interested in the big picture
either. What I am interested in...
is how my board got convened
behind my back...
and is entertaining a further proposal from
a man with whom it offends me to do business.
I made a decision.
Case closed.
So am I to understand
from your response...
that you do not want to hear
the details of Bontecou's offer?
Yes, you are
to understand that.
And now, may I ask
you a question?
- Certainly, Bill.
- Are you running this board, or am I?
That's it?
We've got a busy day ahead.
This meeting's already set me behind.
- Shall we adjourn?
- Before we do, Bill, while we're here...
There's a second question
the board would like a response to.
Far simpler one.
Who is the man
standing to your left?
I've already introduced
Mr. Black to you all.
But who is he?
What are his credentials?
What is his relationship to you?
The board is deeply concerned.
We have reason to believe Mr. Black is
not only influencing your decisions...
in regard to this company,
but that you are relying on him
to make them for you.
The lack of response, Bill,
is not appropriate.
We are your board.
We have a right to know how you are
managing the operations of this company.
And, most importantly, that you have not
delegated someone to do it for you.
Okay?
One more time.
Who is Joe Black?
A motion has been brought
before the board...
to invoke Article
of the corporate charter.
In English, please.
Mandatory retirement
on our chairman's th birthday,
at which time the chairman
will be named emeritus.
You're welcome to attend
all meetings...
and will serve as international
spokesman for the corporation.
Plus, of course, a settlement,
a golden parachute of such magnitude
that his feet will never touch the ground.
Please indicate your vote
by a yes or no.
- Yes. -
Yes. - Yes.
Yes.
- No.
- No.
Motion's passed.
We will, of course, delay the announcement
out of respect for our former chairman...
until after the celebration
of his birthday this weekend.
Well, thanks for allowing me
to save face, Drew.
The other motion before us is the
acceptance of John Bontecou's offer...
to merge this corporation
with Bontecou International.
Okay. Joe?
Who I am...
and what my relationship is
to William Parrish...
will be divulged
in our own good time.
Okay. Thank you, Mr. Black.
It's not over till it's over.
Please, Eddie,
no "fat lady sings" stuff.
I still sense some doubt in this group.
We could turn it around.
- You'll be up in the country?
- Yeah.
The big celebration of
my mandatory retirement birthday.
You're an honored guest, Eddie.
I'm gonna stick it out here.
We still have a shot.
Get John's office on the phone.
Tell them I'll be there in minutes.
What did you do?
- You've gotten the old man fired.
- That we did.
Thanks to you.
He was wobbling, mind you,
but you supplied the coup de grace.
I'm gonna put a stop to this.
Quince, you can't
unscramble scrambled eggs.
I- I didn't mean to do this.
Train's left the station, pal,
and you're aboard.
Now, would you like to hear
the silver lining?
Check that. Gold.
Once John Bontecou acquires
Parrish Communications,
he's gonna break it apart, peddle it
piece by piece to the highest bidder.
That was the game plan
right from the start.
I set it up for him,
and he smacks it out of the park.
Ramifications for you?
You'll be farting through silk.
You'll sell your stock.
You'll be positively, truly rich.
You can stop kissing ass.
What'll it feel like to be a man?
I'm going to expose you.
Okay. Go right ahead.
You tell William Parrish how you
betrayed him in a secret board meeting.
Tell Allison how you helped
her father lose his company.
It's just life, Quincie.
Wake up and smell the thorns.
You're here.
I am.
I, uh... just dropped by.
I thought I'd scrounge some lunch.
I was in the neighborhood.
I'm so glad.
When I called, they said that
you and Dad had already left the office.
Mm-hmm. He's taking a nap.
Oh. Yeah.
Well, uh, he must be tired.
You know,
this whole Bontecou thing...
It, um, seems...
Yes, he's tired.
I believe so.
Yeah.
You must be hungry then.
No.
Not anymore.
Are you?
I loved making love to you.
It was like
making love with someone...
making love for the first time.
Thank you.
Do you like making love with me?
Yes.
More than you love peanut butter?
Yes.
Much more.
- Where are you going?
- Nowhere. I'm here.
For how long?
I hope a long, long time.
Me too.
What do we do now?
Um...
it'll come to us.
Hello, Bill.
Did you have a nice nap?
- I couldn't sleep.
- I'm sorry to hear that.
I'll come down.
What's going on? Hmm?
I saw you kiss Susan.
Yes, I saw you see me.
You're at the wrong place
at the wrong time with the wrong woman.
- I'll be the judge of that.
- I'm her father.
With all due respect, Bill,
I'm not asking your permission.
You goddamn well should!
You walk into my life. You give me
the worst news a guy can get.
You have me dancing on heads of pins
with my business, my family.
- Now you're spooning with my daughter?
- "Spooning"?
Yes! And stop repeating everything
I say and turning it into a question.
Spooning, fooling around
and God knows what.
Oh, you arrive
on the scene...
Why you picked me
I still don't understand.
I chose you for your verve,
your excellence...
and your ability to... instruct.
You've lived a first-rate life,
and I find it eminently usable.
What do you want?
Huh?
Everybody wants something, Joe.
You've been taking me
from pillar to post here.
And, uh,
I thought I knew who you were,
and it wasn't a lot of fun.
But it was almost bearable.
But now I'm getting something else
from you, something very...
very strange.
What is it that you want?
I'm only living
the Parrish bywords...
looking for that
"ounce of excitement,"
that "whisper of a thrill there is
no sense living your life without."
You know what I mean, Bill?
You're violating
the laws of the universe.
- This universe?
- Any universe that exists or ever existed.
You may be the pro, Joe,
but I know who you are,
and you're all fucked up.
I don't like your tone,
and I don't like your references.
And I don't give a shit.
Perhaps it's time to remind you this is
not simply a dispute with a putative suitor.
This is me.
So be careful, Bill.
Cut all that "Bill" crap out,
you son of a bitch.
I'll say it again.
Be careful, Bill.
Can I help you?
Excuse me, can I help you?
Yes. Dr. Parrish, please.
She comes on at : .
Oh.
Hi.
- Where's Joe?
- Joe?
Joe's not around.
- Do you know where he is?
- I don't know.
Oh.
Why are you
looking for Joe?
Love. Passion. Obsession.
All those things
you told me to wait for.
- They've arrived.
- This is crazy.
Why?
A man shows up,
almost never leaves your side.
Well, you clearly trust him,
depend on him.
So why aren't those things
good enough for me?
- You don't know anything about Joe.
- What are you afraid of?
That I'll fall
head over heels for Joe?
Well, I have.
Just like you did with Mom.
Isn't that what
you've always wanted for me?
Susan...
I don't think Joe is
gonna be with us long.
Where is he going?
I don't know.
- I can't say.
- Oh, come on.
The guy's working with you. You know chapter
and verse about everyone working with you.
In this case I can't. L...
I only will tell you that with Joe,
you're on... very, very dangerous ground.
I love him.
I don't care if you love him!
I'm telling you!
Joe's no good for you.
Of course not, Daddy.
I'm sorry.
I love you too.
Mr. Bad News. 'Bout time you show up.
Don't be feisty, sister.
I'm not feisty, mister.
You come for me?
That's good news.
No, I come to see the doctor.
- Doctor?
- Mm-hmm.
- What could be wrong with you?
- Nothin'.
Ohh. You come to see doctor lady?
- Yeah, man.
- My doctor lady?
Mine too, you know.
You're in love?
You're loved back?
She know your real self?
- She know how she feel.
- Backside!
What the hell
kind of business this is.
Don't need you okayin'.
Schoolboy things in your head.
Badness for you.
Badness for her.
Badness for me, lyin' here,
tumor big as a breadfruit,
poisonin' me inside,
and waitin'.
Bring you flowers,
and all I's gettin' is aggravation.
The only flowers
I want to see...
is the ones over my peaceful self
resting in the dirt.
Can't do no right by people.
Come to take you, you want to stay.
Leave you stay,
you want to go. Rahtid.
You're not in
your right place, mister.
Me neither.
No more.
Take me, and you come
with me now.
But I not lonely here.
Somebody want me here.
Hmm.
It nice it happen to you.
Like you come to the island
and had a holiday.
Sun didn't burn you red-red,
just brown.
You sleep, and no mosquito eat you.
But the truth is,
it bound to happen...
if you stay long enough.
So take that nice picture
you got in your head home with you,
but don't be fooled.
We lonely here mostly too.
If we lucky, maybe...
we got some nice pictures
to take with us.
You got enough nice pictures?
Yes.
Good-bye, sister.
Yes?
I have the feeling, all in all,
what I made this voyage for
has served its purpose.
What are you saying?
It's time to go?
I'm ready.
You are?
Yeah.
Good. Tomorrow.
After the party.
- Yes, Helen?
- Telephone call, sir.
- Mr. Sloane from New York.
- Thank you.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
Hey!
Hey.
Red or white?
- No. No, thank you.
- Have a drink.
- You look like you need one as bad as me.
- I do?
- Quince?
- Mm-hmm.
I find myself
a little confused.
- Confused, huh?
- Yes.
- About what?
- Love.
Love.
Oh, man.
I got problems of my own.
- You love Allison, don't you?
- Yes, I do.
How did you meet?
Well, um,
I was this world-class loser,
and she was this happy little rich girl,
and for some reason
she took me in.
But Allison loves you.
How do you know?
Because she knows the worst thing
about me, and it's okay.
- What is it?
- No, it's not one thing. It's just an idea, Joe.
It's just, um, um...
It's like you know
each other's secrets,
your deepest, darkest secrets.
- Deepest, darkest secrets?
- Yeah, and then you... you're free.
Free?
You're free!
You're free to I...
love each other
completely, totally.
Just no fear.
So there's nothing you don't know
about each other, and it's okay.
Hmm.
- Do you like me, Joe?
- Oh, yes, Quince. You're one of my favorites.
What would you say if you knew it was me
who brought down Bill Parrish?
Oh, I told Drew and the board
that Bill depended on you.
Drew and Bontecou are gonna chop up
the company, sell it off for parts.
Bontecou was outside.
Drew was Mr. Inside.
And I was the fool
who made it all happen.
Ohh...
God.
What do I do?
Go to Bill Parrish
and tell him the truth.
He'll forgive you.
- You think so?
- Yes.
You think I should wait
till after the party?
No.
No.
Four down here
and a sturgeon up there.
This one is perfect.
Absolutely.
Okay, I think
I want four here like that...
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi.
What do you think?
Well, it's, uh...
it's starting to grow on me.
Oh, I've got a baritone
with a balalaika...
coming from
the Russian Tea Room.
I've dressed him in a Cossack shirt,
and he'll be singing Nelson Eddy songs.
Wow.
You really are amazing.
But why, oh, why, Allison,
are you doing all this?
I do it because I love you.
Everybody loves you:
Mommy, wherever she is,
Susan, Quince...
all the people you work with,
anyone who's ever met you.
Ohh, Daddy.
After all, you've been
a wonderful father.
Yeah, well,
I haven't been the father
to you that, uh...
- That you've been to Susan?
- I wasn't going to say that.
But that's what you were thinking.
And that's okay.
Because I know
that you love me.
I mean, it's not like
it is with her.
Whenever she walks into the room,
your eyes light up.
She always gets a smile from you,
as opposed to me.
When I walk in,
this look comes over your face, like,
"What does she want now?"
But you've never let
either of us want for anything.
Oh, God. More than that, Daddy,
more than that.
I've felt loved,
and that's all that matters.
So, never mind favorites.
You're allowed to have one.
The point is,
you've been mine.
Oh, Allison.
Oh.
I really feel...
I've everything I could've
ever wanted for my birthday.
Oh, wait a minute!
There's more to come.
Lots of excess, like you love.
You know, this is gonna be
a wonderful party.
Yes, it is.
Thank you. Thank you.
- Happy birthday!
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- Good evening.
- Thank you.
- Hello.
- Welcome.
- Hi, Susan.
- Hi, Simone. How are you?
- Hi, darling.
- Oh, hi, Gene. Hi.
My father told me
you might be leaving.
Your father and I...
Our time together
has come to an end.
I'm in love... with a man,
but I don't know who he is,
where he's going or when.
I can tell you the when part.
Tonight.
So it does get worse.
No worse than it gets for me.
I'm in love with a woman who...
I don't wanna leave.
I don't wanna leave.
Ohh.
Then don't.
There's so little
we know about each other.
There's so much
I should tell you.
That'll come. That'll come.
- Will it?
- Mm-hmm.
I wanna be with you, Joe.
I opened my big mouth
one too many times.
Everything just got
all, uh, twisted.
It's okay, Quince.
I understand.
You've always meant well,
and I appreciate that.
Sometimes things just turn out wrong.
Yeah?
- Excuse me.
- No, no... Uh, Joe, come in.
Um, I wanna thank you.
Is it okay, Bill?
- Sure.
- Joe knows the whole story. I told him.
And it was his idea
that I come clean. I mean...
I wanted to come clean,
but, uh,
he gave me a pair of balls,
you know what I mean?
Yeah, I believe I do.
Anyway, uh,
I can see you guys
got business.
No. However, I do have
some unfinished business with Drew.
Get him on the helicopter.
Get him out here tonight.
I wanna tell this guy
how I feel about him face-to-face.
That could be a tall order, B.P. I doubt
if Drew is anxious to see you face-to-face.
- I'll deliver the package.
- Okay.
- How are you doing?
- What the hell do you care?
Just asking, Bill.
You wanna know?
I'll tell you.
You're looking at a man who is not walking
through the valley of the shadow of death.
He's galloping into it. At the
same time, the business he built...
with his own hands and head has been
commandeered by a couple of cheap pirates.
Oh, yes! I almost forgot.
My daughter's fallen in love with Death.
And I'm in love
with your daughter.
Say again?
I'm in love with your daughter,
and I'm taking her with me tonight.
- You what?
- I think you heard me, Bill.
You're not taking Susan anywhere. What
does that mean, anyway? We had a deal.
And I'm sorry.
Susan's my daughter.
She has a wonderful life ahead of her.
You're gonna deprive her of it,
and you're telling me you're sorry?
I'm sorry.
Apology not accepted.
I don't care, Bill. I love her.
How perfect for you...
to take whatever you want
because it pleases you.
That's not love.
Then what is it?
Some aimless infatuation which,
for the moment, you feel like indulging.
It's missing everything
that matters.
Which is what?
Trust, responsibility,
taking the weight for
your choices and feelings...
and spending the rest of your life
living up to them,
and above all,
not hurting the object of your love.
So that's love according
to William Parrish?
Multiply it by infinity and take it
to the depth of forever,
and you will still have barely a glimpse
of what I'm talking about.
- Those were my words.
- They're mine now.
Bill, Susan wants
to come with me. She loves me.
- She loves you?
- Mm-hmm.
Who is you?
Did you tell her who you are?
- No.
- Does she know where she's going? Huh?
You see, Susan went for
that poor son of a bitch...
whose body you took,
and everything since has been aftermath.
You don't know what love is.
She doesn't know who you are.
You make a deal; you're breaking it.
Bottom line is, Joe,
you're swindling her soul, and you're
doing it with your eyes wide open.
- I don't like what you're saying.
- I'm past caring what you like and don't.
- You're stealing my daughter, and I'm not gonna let you.
- You're not?
- No.
- Are you threatening me?
Yeah, I certainly hope so.
Yeah.
I loved Susan from the moment she was born,
and I love her now and every minute in between.
And what I dream of is a man who will discover
her, and that she will discover a man...
who will love her, who is worthy of
her, who is of this world, this time...
and has the grace, compassion
and fortitude to walk beside her...
as she makes her way
through life.
Enough!
What I know is what I want,
and what I want is Susan.
And I will have her,
and she will have me.
And that's the way it's going to be.
And there's nothing you can do.
Why did you tell me all this, Joe?
You're the big shot,
the biggest shot of all.
You don't have to ask permission, but
that's what you're doing. Do you know why?
Because you've somehow developed into a
good guy, and you know this is all wrong.
I don't know what you're
gonna do, but, uh,
how can this be love?
She doesn't know who you are.
Why don't you tell her,
try it out, see what happens?
Reveal everything there is to know about
yourself and let the chips fall where they may.
Okay?
I've given it my best shot.
I, uh...
I wish I could tell you
to sleep on it.
Oh, um...
I'm sorry. Would you excuse me?
- Sure.
- Okay, nice to see you.
Nice to see you.
There's something
so indescribably sexy...
about you standing
in the middle of a crowd.
I could make love to you
right here.
You're trying to tell me my future,
you're looking on the wrong side.
There is something
I do want to tell you.
But you can't?
Just now when you hesitated,
I got a chill.
Remember that morning
in the coffee shop?
When you said, "What's wrong
with taking care of a woman?
She takes care of you."
- Did I say that?
- Mm-hmm.
And I said you'd have a hard time
finding a woman like that these days.
Well, you found one, Joe.
The coffee shop.
That was the place,
and you were the guy.
And you said that, uh,
that you didn't want me
to be your doctor because...
you didn't want me
to examine you.
Why, I got to examine you,
after all.
I could come with you.
You want me to wait?
You'll come back?
May I kiss you?
That felt like good-bye.
What's going on, Joe?
I feel like we're lifting off.
I'm still here.
But you're not.
You're somewhere else.
You're someone else.
Don't you want to ask who?
- Yes, but...
- "But"?
Joe, I'm afraid.
Afraid to find out?
Don't be.
It doesn't matter what I am.
You know who I am.
You're...
You're...
You're Joe.
Yes, I'm Joe.
Oh.
And I promise you...
you will always have
what you found in the coffee shop.
Tell me that you love me.
Tell me that you love me now.
I love you now.
I'll love you always.
Susan.
Yes?
Thank you for loving me.
We should think about
getting started, Bill.
Mm-hmm.
It'll just be us.
Thank you.
Bill?
Come in.
I got him. The helicopter
will be here in two minutes.
How are we on time?
Okay.
Get him in here.
May?
- Yes, sir?
- I know you're busy,
but I want you to put in a call
to Eddie Sloane for me.
- At home, sir?
- No, he's at the office.
This is damn big of Bill.
- Ooh. You all right?
- Yeah.
Also smart, you know?
Well, he had no choice.
He knows you're a formidable adversary.
- He said that?
- Yeah, I mean, you got him by the short hairs.
Yeah, the short and gray hairs.
- We're all here, Bill.
- I appreciate this, Eddie.
Members of the board, this will
just take a minute of your time.
As custodians of the company, you may
receive information from what follows...
that will be valuable
to you or not.
- Either way, thanks.
- We're all ears.
Thanks.
Good evening, Bill.
Thank you, Quince.
I just wanted to say how appreciative
I am of this, um, grand gesture.
Shut up and sit down.
You're a useless sack
of shit, Drew.
You played footsie
with John Bontecou...
so you could dismember my company
to line your own pockets.
I don't know where you get that idea.
The board agreed...
The board didn't know you were a mole who
burrowed inside so you could bury us all.
Is this Mr. Black's fantasy?
Another one of his whoppers?
Aren't you sick of this asshole
lurking around? Nobody knows who he is.
But one thing
everybody does know,
he somehow got your ear and has been
pouring poison into it ever since.
You're the poison, Drew.
You've operated behind the scenes
to suborn the trust of a man...
who has stamped you with his imprimatur
of class, elegance and stature.
I've had the opportunity to be witness
to every kind and degree of deception.
But Bill Parrish has been on the receiving
end of machinations so Machiavellian...
that it has rarely been
my experience to encounter.
And yet, he has combatted them stoically and
selflessly, without revealing my identity.
Had he violated
the vow of secrecy he took,
his task would
have been far easier.
He could have turned
defeat into victory.
But he is too honorable a man
to have done that.
Because of me, he has lost his work,
his company, his reputation.
So now,
given these losses,
I'm compelled to end
the need for secrecy.
The time has come
to tell you who I am.
So tell me. Tell me.
I'm peeing in my pants.
- And you're going to pee some more.
- Joe, don't do this.
It's okay, Bill. It's time
we put this person in his place.
It's not necessary, Joe.
Drew's gonna step aside.
- I'm not stepping anywhere.
- I appreciate your gentlemanliness.
But what we need to do here
is drive the dagger home.
- "The dagger"?
- I told you to shut up!
Prepare yourself, Drew.
- L...
- Joe, please.
Kindly let me take it from here.
- Am...
- Don't.
An agent for the
Internal Revenue Service.
- Bill?
- Huh?
Bill.
- Bill.
- Yeah.
Yes, he's, um...
He's an agent for
the Internal Revenue Service.
Mmm, yes, we were convinced
that Bontecou, on past deals,
has structured his mergers
and acquisitions...
in suspicious and complicated ways so as
to evade paying the taxes he is liable for.
The agency asked Bill for his cooperation
in an undercover investigation of Bontecou.
We wanted to go after him, and this deal
gave us that perfect opportunity.
- And I offered to cooperate.
- And we're very grateful.
Uh, Agent Joe Black here...
Of course, that's not his real name...
smelled out your involvement, Drew.
He developed evidence you were
working both sides of the fence.
Unfortunately, that is what is known
as a conflict of interest.
Undisclosed conflict of interest.
- An offense.
- An indictable offense.
- And a likely conviction.
- Very likely.
I think I'd like
to talk to my lawyer.
No lawyers, Drew.
Uh, we're gonna offer you a deal.
Confess to the board every detail of your
participation, then submit your resignation.
What do I get?
You get not to go to jail.
You're talking through your hat.
You're offering me a deal
because you've got no proof.
- Proof? We've got plenty of proof.
- He's talking through his lips.
Drew, make no mistake. Should you choose
to test my resolve in this matter,
you will be looking at an outcome
that will have a finality...
that is beyond your comprehension.
And you will not be counting
the days or the months or the years,
but millenniums
in a place with no doors.
All right, you win.
Soon as I get back to the city,
I'll meet with the board.
You're meeting with the board
right now, Drew. Resignation accepted.
Moreover, I propose a motion
to reconfirm William Parrish...
as chairman of the board
of Parrish Communications,
as well as a rejection of the merger
with Bontecou International.
- How say you,
board? - Yes. - Yes.
- Yes. - Yes. - The
motion is passed.
Thank you. That's great.
But it's more than I bargained for. I
just wanted to set the record straight.
You have. Sounds like these guys want you
back, Bill. We'll get their apologies later.
Meanwhile, enjoy your party. Celebrate.
I'll attend to the nasty details.
And, Mr. Black,
may we say thank you?
My pleasure.
This is an I.R.S. Agent's dream.
I'll be promoted
chief of section off this.
Who would have believed it?
You an I.R.S. Agent?
Death and taxes.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear William
Happy birthday to you
- Speech! Speech!
- Speech!
Speech! Speech! Speech!
Thank you.
- I thought I was gonna sneak away tonight.
- No!
What a glorious night.
Every face I see is a memory.
It may not be
a perfectly perfect memory.
Uh, sometimes we had
our ups and downs.
But we're all together,
and you're mine for a night.
And I'm gonna break precedent
and tell you my one candle wish.
That you would have a life
as lucky as mine,
where you can wake up
one morning and say,
"I don't want anything more."
Sixty-five years.
Don't they go by in a blink?
Hi.
Oh. What a night.
I'm having a hell of a time.
You were right... about Joe.
He, uh...
He is going somewhere.
I'm sorry.
You relieved?
Yes, but...
But what?
I want you to know
how much I love you,
that you've given a meaning to my life
that I had no right to expect,
that no one can
ever take from me.
- Dad...
- No!
I love you so much.
And I want you
to promise me something.
I don't want you
to ever worry about me.
And if anything should happen,
I'm gonna be okay.
And everything's
gonna be all right.
And I have no regrets.
And I want you
to feel the same way.
I love you, Daddy.
That's why it's okay.
No regrets?
No regrets.
That's a good feeling, isn't it?
Yeah.
Everybody's saying good-bye.
I'm still here.
Would you like to dance
with me, Susan?
Yeah.
If you don't mind dancing
with an old fogey like me.
Oh, Dad, you're not old.
You'll never be old.
Can I get you anything, sir?
No.
Do you have any peanut butter?
Uh, I don't think so, sir.
Mmm. Thank you anyway.
You're welcome.
What's that?
The fireworks are starting.
Let's go down and watch.
- Shall we?
- You go on ahead, honey.
I'm just gonna catch my breath.
Okay.
Okay.
Happy birthday, Bill.
Thank you.
Did you say good-bye?
Not exactly.
I guess you have your reasons.
Yes.
Now that we have a moment,
would you mind if I expressed my
gratitude for what you did for Susan?
I've never heard her speak
of any man as she spoke of you.
That's what I always
wanted for her.
But what happens
to her now?
I wouldn't worry about it, Bill.
These things have a way
of working out.
Would you mind if
I expressed my gratitude?
For you,
for the time you've given me,
for the person you are.
Don't blow smoke up my ass.
You'll ruin my autopsy.
It's hard to let go, isn't it?
Yes, it is, Bill.
Well, that's life.
What can I tell you?
Should I be afraid?
Not a man like you.
You're here.
You bet.
Well, where did you go?
I don't know.
I don't...
I... I don't know,
you know. L...
It's all kind of blurred up
and hazy, but...
Would you know what I mean if I said
I don't think I'll ever figure it out?
But now I'm back.
That's it?
Well, I don't know what else to say.
Looks like a hell of a party.
You think so?
You look beautiful.
When you disappeared
around the corner,
I wasn't sure if I was
ever gonna see you again.
Hey, are you all right?
- The coffee shop.
- Yep.
I asked you if I said something wrong and
you said no, it was so right it scared you.
And then you said...
Forgive me for saying this,
but it's been with me ever since.
What has?
You said you liked me.
- No.
- You didn't?
I said... I liked you so much.
Yeah.
We know so little about each other.
But we've got time.
Yeah.
I wish you...
could've known my father.
Me too.
Me too.
What do we do now?
Lt'll come to us.
Yeah.
Somewhere
Over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dream of
Once in a lullaby
By, oh
Somewhere
Over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
And the dreams that you dream of
Dreams really do come true
Ooo-ooo
Some day you wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds
are far behind
Be where trouble melts
like lemon drops
High above the chimney top
It's where
You find me, oh
Somewhere
Over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
And the dreams that you dare to
Oh, why, oh, why
Can't I, I
Well, I see trees of green
And red roses too
I'll watch them bloom for
Me and you and I think to myself
What a wonderful world
Well, I see skies of blue
And I see clouds of white
And the brightness of day
I like the dark
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
The colors of the rainbow
So pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces
Of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, how do you do
They're really saying
I, I love you
I hear babies cry
And I watch them grow
They'll learn much more
Than we'll know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
World
Some day I wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds
are far behind
Be where trouble melts
like lemon drops
High above the chimney top
That's where
You'll find me, oh
Somewhere
Over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dare to
Why, oh, why, can't I
I